Reforged and Strengthened

by jezzibee83

A sequel to Reforged. Reforged and Strengthened follows the Reforged Universe and the lives of our favorite Sons of Durin and their elf, Tauriel. Watch as they fill their lives with adventure, love, and family in a world they earned through hardship and battle. Read Reforged first.

20. ACT II Chapter 8

Updated November 14th, 2021

Original Authors Note: Okay, tissues still may be needed because…I needed them while proofing. This is also a REALLY long chapter. I could have broken it up…but I was too lazy so it's all one big giant chapter. Happy reading.

Chapter Eight

It was well past mid-day and Tauriel had been running for over an hour. She had no real destination in mind, but her heart called for blood. Tauriel leapt and pulled herself into a tree to cover her tracks, her nimble feet easily adjusting to running through the branches as she had done nearly her entire life. She needed time. She needed to breathe. She needed not to be found.

"Now, about climbing trees."

Tauriel stumbled as her mind pulled up Kili's teasing smile. The last time she had done this had been when she was pregnant with Finli, and Kili was horrified to see her so high up in her condition. She had laughed. After all, she was a wood elf. Trees and stars were home. Or, at least they once were until a certain dark-haired prince somehow pushed his way into her heart, and he became her home. What is home now?

Not wanting to answer, Tauriel found what she had not realized she had been searching for. Thick webbing was draped this way and that across the branches both above and below her, and shadows began to make their way towards the waiting eleth. Pulling her blades, Tauriel ran full speed towards the beings who thought SHE was the prey. She smirked, her eyes taking on a dangerous glint. Their mistake.

Tauriel's weapons sang through the air as her cold fury took out spider after spider. One was able to ram her from the trees, but no matter. She was just as lethal on the ground. The battle went on for nearly an hour, each spider down only fueled her anger and need for more as adrenalin coursed through her veins.

The eleth looked around her, dead spiders littered the ground as far as she could see. It was not enough. She turned her eyes towards the grey mountains, Ered Mithrin. Fili had said they were found on the border of the forests end just before Ered Mithrin, it was where they were taken, where HE was taken from her. Without hesitation, Tauriel turned her wrath towards a new destination. That is where Kili had been. That is where he was harmed. That is where he last remembered her. That is where she will go.

Naurfaer held the tray of food and water steady as he knocked on the door before opening it slowly. The room was in chaos. "What is going on? What happened?" He then looked at Thorin who was speaking rapidly to Dwalin. "Thorin? Did you just arrive?"

The elf's eyes searched for a sea of red, but the only ones in the room were the ones he had left, with exception of Thorin. It was odd Tauriel was not with him. He placed the tray beside Dis's bed. Ivethin said she will be likely out for several hours. They had sedated her after healing her, so the poison can completely work its way out of her system without causing her any undue discomfort.

Naurfaer looked over at Kili who was glaring at Fili, and smiled at the younger prince. He had quite the road ahead of him as he recovered. Though most of his wounds were healed and his scarring, gone, Kili had lost almost all of his muscle mass from his captivity, and will need extensive training to get it back…once he was well enough that is. At the moment, he just needed rest and food. "Ah, awake eh? Feeling better?" Kili ignored him, however, and looked to the wall.

"Naurfaer! You have not seen Tauriel have you?" Naurfaer looked over at a concerned Viltarra and shook his head.

Naurfaer looked around the room once again as he shook his head. Worry began to fill him as he realized he was missing something…and it just may be his trouble magnet of a granddaughter. "I had no knowledge she had arrived. What happened?"

Viltarra sighed and glanced at Kili who was resolutely ignoring them all as she spoke. "It happened so quickly. Tauriel came in and Kili was still asleep. I turned my head and the next thing I know, there was a commotion and Tauriel was being pulled from the room by Dwalin."

Naurfaer brushed past her and walked up to Thorin. "Where is Tauriel?"

Dwalin looked to Thorin then answered. "We don't know lad. According to the guards she ran teh the forest. They have been searchin' for her since."

Naurfaer cursed. "You did not think to go after her?! Her mind is connected to Kili in a way I have NEVER before seen! If…if it shatters, she will fade instantly. We need to find her."

"Thorin?" Thorin closed his eyes. Not a good time for Dis to finally wake. Thorin pushed past Naurfaer and sat beside his sister. He kissed her brow and gave her a smile.

Dis looked around. "What has happened? You all look like you're ready for battle."

Thorin brushed some of her hair away from her face and readjusted the blankets around her. "I don't want you to worry, my sister. It is being taken care of. You need to focus on healing. Alright?"

Dis glared at Thorin as she batted his hands away. "Has that ever worked on our family?" Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Thorin...tell me."

The king under the mountain, brother, surrogate father, and uncle looked around the room, then let his eyes fall on Kili. Dis followed his gaze and grew even more confused. He seemed better then when they arrived. Cleaner, and his scarring was gone. A gift and a debt she will ever endeavor to repay to Thranduil. Who knew the cold- spirited elven king, can actually be kind.

"Tauriel is missing." Thorin finally responded.

Dis's eyes flew back to Thorin. "What? When? Who? Not…"

"Her own volition it seems. There was a…situation." Thorin looked to Kili then back at his sister. "I had her taken from the room and she went into the forest."

Dis sat up straight and grasped Thorin's coat desperately. "Find her! Thorin, you have to find her. Bring my daughter back, before something happens!" Thorin nodded.

"I will come with you." Naurfaer grabbed his coat and blades, and they were out the door.

"Uncle!" Stepping through the main doors to the healing halls, Thorin turned to Fili who ran up to him having been just speaking to one of the elven guards. "They lost track of her. A group of guards just returned from the forest to report, nobody seems to have any idea where Tauri could be."

"Fili, stay here. Watch over your brother, mam, and Viltarra. You have done enough, you need to rest." Thorin placed a hand on Fili's shoulder even as the prince shook his head.

"She is my sister, Thorin." Fili growled out. "I will not leave her behind. I know she feels she has already lost Kili, but I will not let her think she has lost me. I am coming with."

Thorin, however, put his foot down. "Absolutely not, Fili. When is the last time you slept? Or even properly rested or ate? You have responsibilities here, and someone who needs you just as much as Tauriel. Viltarra has been through a lot, as has your mam." Thorin sighed. "Fili…you are one of the only ones Kili remembers. He needs you here, because he needs to know he has protection after what he has been through. Stay. Please my son."

After a few tense moments, Fili's head finally dropped, and he nodded. "Bring her home then, please. Kili may not know it right now, but, he needs her to breathe, and I need her too. Erebor is not home, unless she is there with us."

"I will find her Fili, don't worry. Now go, make sure your mother does not get up and try to find her herself, she was quite upset to hear Tauriel was gone. You know how much she loves our elf." Thorin smiled and Fili nodded.

"We all love her, uncle." Fili added, as he turned to leave, heading back into the healing halls Thorin had just left.

"Deeply." Thorin sighed as he walked through the streets of Mirkwood towards where Tauriel was last seen. As they approached the gates of the city, the dwarven king turned to the other elf in their small, but growing, family. "Any idea where she might have gone?" Naurfaer, however, shook his head no.

"I might." Thorin and Naurfaer watched as Legolas jumped down from the trees just outside the gates. "My father has said Tauriel went missing. Whenever she was upset in her time living here, she would often run into the forest. We should be able to track her. But, I warn you now, if she does not wish to be found, she will utilize the trees. That is a much more difficult path to follow." He looked down at Thorin, who grumbled something about elves, but nodded.

It took them a few hours with Legolas's ability to follow signs to lead to where she may have gone. Of course, she did use the trees, which made tracking her that much more difficult and time consuming. However, it helped having Legolas with them, as he was not only an excellent tracker in general, but also appeared to be an excellent Tauriel tracker as well. As it would seem, he was spot on with his skill as they found the first sign of where Tauriel had been. The two elves gaped at the mass amount of giant spiders littering the ground around them, and Thorin looked around the carnage with a mix of pride and frustration.

"I have never seen so many." Legolas admitted, searching the area for any sign of their wayward elf.

"Could she had killed them all herself?" Naurfaer stood, looking over body after body of felled spider.

Legolas smirked and nodded. "There was a good reason my father made her captain of the guard. When Tauriel wishes to be, she is one of the most dangerous elves I have ever met, even at her young age. I do not doubt that she has pushed herself to do such a thing. What I do not know is where she went from here. The tracks lead east."

Naurfaer closed his eyes. His blood ran through Tauriel's veins, and if she was anything like him, which he knows her to be, she would have blood for blood. "I know where she went, and you will not like it." Thorin and Legolas looked at him. "She went to where they took them."

"Kakhf!" Thorin snarled. "Of course she did, stubborn, foolish, girl."

"Would you have done differently, Thorin? We cannot judge her, when we would have done the same." Naurfaer watched Thorin carefully, seeing the understanding pass through his eyes. "Her mind is incredibly fragile right now. She is practically running on pure instinct, and seeking out whatever connection she can get to her bonded mate. That means, for her, going to the place he was last himself."

Thorin stared at Naurfaer. He, of course, was not wrong. In a heartbeat, Thorin would have done exactly as she did…in many ways…he had done just that returning to Erebor to take on a dragon. Yes, it was for his people, yes, it was his inheritance, but what is more than that, it was to take down the creature that took everything from him. Can he blame Tauriel for doing exactly as he did? No. He could never do that.

"What of her mind?" Thorin asked softly. "When we find her, how do we help her?"

Naurfaer looked to Legolas who clenched his jaw and looked away, then back at Thorin. "I honestly do not know, Thorin. I do not believe she will easily give in. She loves her son, and will never leave him behind. She also is closely connected to you, Dis, and Fili which I believe is enough to keep her attached to middle earth. We will simply need to be there for her. She will need as much support as Kili will to get through this."

"And others who have been through something similar? Had they survived?" Thorin eyed Legolas once more, but the elven prince refused to look at him, then he looked to Naurfaer whose solemn expression was an answer in itself.

"No." Legolas finally turned his troubled blue eyes to Thorin. "I cannot say I have seen it happen many times, but the few I have witnessed…do not make it. The pain of losing or being severed from a bonded mate is, from what I am told, unimaginable. Worse than any physical ailments any being in middle earth could endure…and survive."

Thorin rubbed his palms into his eyes, trying to push the headache away. He thought finding his family alive would be the end of their sufferings, but clearly, Mahal had other ideas in mind. "Tauriel…is strong. She will survive this, and we will do everything in our power to make it so. Let us, just, find her."

Naurfaer and Legolas nodded in agreement, and the group said no more as they ran towards the eastern end of the forest.

Tauriel sat atop a branch and stared. She found it. She ran through the night and she found it. All this time. All this time he had been so close. How had it taken nine months to find him when he was this close? To emphasize her point, she looked up at the peak of the lonely mountain looming over the treetops.

Jumping from the tree, she stared at what appeared to be an old, ruined entrance. Tauriel stood tall, pulled her twin blades, and walked into the gate.

The place was mostly deserted, but a few orcs roamed the halls. They will soon find today was not their day, as they were instantly met with a vengeful she-elf and her menacing blades. Most did not even see it coming as they fell to the stone floor lifeless as she passed. Tauriel did not even try to quiet her steps or moves, she wanted whoever was here to come out. She wanted them to find her.

Not far from the entrance, Tauriel found where a battle must have transpired, as several bodies not long dead currently littered the floor. They mostly consisted of orcs, but there were several elves among them as well. One of which had a patch covering his eye, which was a curious sight on an elf. Tauriel had never encountered an elf with an eyepatch before. She kicked his leg, but he remained cold and still.

Following the passageway past the hall of carnage, Tauriel found a splintered door. Stopping in her tracks, the eleth stepped into the empty room, and immediately her senses were overwhelmed by blood and rot.

The room was still lit by a large lantern at the wall giving the space an unnerving glow, a stone table sat at the center, and chains lined the wall. Tauriel lowered her blades and stepped forward. She let her fingers trail across the table, before she noticed the fresh blood on the floor near the wall.

Tauriel's hand flew to her mouth, and she fell to her knees; lifting one of the shackles in her hand, Tauriel let out a sob. Her mind was filled with images of Kili screaming in pain, Kili crying out for help…for her, her precious and strong Kili slowly breaking.

Something small and golden in the far corner caught her eye, and Tauriel crawled across the floor on her hands and knees, reaching out to pluck the blood covered ring from the ground. It was Kili's wedding ring, discarded in the corner as if it were nothing. Her sobs grew as she clutched the ring to her breast, and there, in the dilapidated blood-soaked room, where Kili last remembered her, Tauriel finally broke; her screams of pain and fury filling the stagnant air.

"How much further?" Thorin asked, keeping pace with the two elves despite the difference in leg length.

"Not much." Naurfaer stated. "We entered through a side gate." They all stopped when a piercing cry filled the air, then they broke into a run.

"Find the front Naurfaer!" Thorin ordered. "Legolas, take me through the side gate. We need to split up to find her."

The small party parted ways and Naurfaer stepped into the ruined entry hall. He looked around and paused, he was not alone, he could feel it. The elf stopped and peered at several felled orcs on the ground; their wounds fresh which meant, this was the way she came. "Tauriel." Naurfaer breathed.

"Naurfaer? What are you doing here?" A voice hissed from the shadows.

Naurfaer had to clasp his hand on the wall to keep himself upright. He never, in his life, thought he would hear the voice again. Feeling flared in his head, and he was forced to resecure blocks and barriers he had not touched for centuries.

"Elbereth." Naurfaer turned in time to see the red-headed figure that haunted his mind staring coldly at him, her blades swinging in her hands as she spun them along her fingers. "So, this is where you have been hiding."

Elbereth pushed off the wall and circled him, a cold smile on her lips. "This is where I have been, but I am hardly hiding."

Naurfaer watched her. He knew what she was doing. Sizing him up, looking for weak-points, and a place to begin her attack. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, but I so want to." Elbereth whined. "You see, after you left me to die, I realized who my real family was. Herdir nursed me back to health. He brought meaning to my life. He made me feel, alive. Gone was my pain, my torment, my unrest."

"YOU brought yourself that pain." Naurfaer snarled. "We finally had everything. You were the one to abandon us. You were the one to try and kill our daughter!"

"I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO!" Elbereth bellowed, glaring at Naurfaer as she approached him. "You, were always weak, but it was only after that child was born, that I saw just how weak you truly were. You should have let me finish. We could have had everything we ever wanted. But you were a fool! That dwarf had more spirit than you ever will, Naurfaer."

Elbereth lowered herself into battle position, and Naurfaer barely had time to lift his blades before she launched herself at him. He took on the defense, evading her moves with practiced steps. "Don't do this Elbereth! Fight whatever it is inside you, and come back. This is not who you are."

Elbereth laughed darkly. "Why would I ever wish to do that? I am stronger than I have ever been in my life. I have meaning here, and purpose." She allowed a twisted smile to fill her face, taunting, dark, and menacing. "I made him scream, that dwarf. Every, single, day. His screams filled the place like an aria. I was on the verge of breaking him, Naurfaer, of turning him to something far better than he was, just like I should have broken you!"

The red-headed eleth lunged, and Naurfaer ducked before stepping away, forcing Elbereth to run full fledge into the wall. She screamed and readjusted her blades, and that is when Naurfaer saw it…the ring…on her finger. Fili had said he had torn a ring from Kili's finger, a ring of power, a ring not unlike the one Elbereth currently wore. All this time. He was wrong. His Elbereth was not what he thought. He was a fool. He really had failed her, just as he had left her behind to die.

With a quick twist, Naurfaer ran at the wall and used the momentum to back-flip over Elbereth and force her face-down on the ground. She screamed curses at him, but Naurfaer held strong. He grabbed for her hand and tried to pull the ring from her finger, but Elbereth, realizing what he was doing, clenched her fist. "NO! Get AWAY!" She snarled as she tried to fight the elf holding her down.

With no other choice, Naurfaer lifted his blade. "I am so sorry for this Elbereth." He then brought it down, breaking through the bone and severing the finger from her hand in one hit, the ring going with it. Elbereth screamed again, then went limp, her breaths coming out in soft pants.

Tauriel braced her arm against the wall and pushed herself up. "Never again." She attached Kili's ring to her bracelet Hillanna had made her, tracing her thumb along the smooth gold. She lifted her eyes and looked around the room, it needed to be destroyed.

Walking to the opposite wall, Tauriel grabbed the lantern and threw it to the ground, the fuel inside igniting instantly as the blaze latched onto the dry wood that lined the walls. She watched as the room was slowly engulfed by flames. The stone will always be here, but, everything else can burn. Cleansed by fire.

Tauriel walked out the door just as the flames began to spread into the halls, catching on the dry roots in the cracks throughout the walls as well as the beams lining the ceiling. Giving no care to the flames around her, Tauriel just walked through, uncaring of the burning air or the smoke filling her lungs. She only paused when over the now roaring inferno, she heard the unmistakable sound of clashing blades. Someone was here and in battle not far ahead.

Inching her way along the corridor, Tauriel stopped when she heard the sound of a woman.

"I made him scream, that dwarf. Every, single, day. His screams filled the place like an aria. I was on the verge of breaking him..." The voice was vicious, calas, and cruel and it burned in Tauriel's fractured mind. She pulled her bow, knocked an arrow, and flew down the hall. Kili. This was the monster who hurt her mate. She will die by her hand.

Naurfaer slowly backed off Elbereth. He stood and stared down at her as she gasped in pain while pulling herself up to her knees. He saw her look down at the fingerless hand as she pulled herself to her feet. She turned to Naurfaer, her eyes wide and she let out a small, soft, sob. "Naufi?"

Naurfaer smiled and nodded.

"What are you doing…" Her voice was stopped by a gasp of pain and she looked down to see the arrow protruding from deep within her chest.

"ELBERETH!" Naurfaer called, suddenly turning towards the door. "Wait!"

Elbereth looked up to see an elf with flowing red hair, backlit by flames, watching her with fury in her green eyes. She had another arrow aimed at the ready as she snarled. "It was you. You hurt him." Angry tears were falling down her cheeks. "You took him from me." Tauriel growled through clenched teeth. "I wish I can make you feel EVERYTHING you did to him three times over, but I will just have to pray that Manwe deals your just rewards."

Tauriel heard her name being called the moment her second arrow was released. She ignored it and knocked another arrow. She had found this bow and an entire quiver on a felled elf, and she will unleash every last arrow she had into this monster.

Thorin ran towards her through the fire and smoke. He took one look at her and grabbed her by the shoulder looking up into her enraged face. "You are better than this, nâtha. Kili would not want this. It is done Tauriel. Come back to us daughter, or you will be no different than her."

Narrowing her eyes, Tauriel could do nothing to stop the small sob leaving her throat. She pulled the string tighter, her knuckles white from her tightening grip of the bow, but suddenly, she clenched her eyes shut and dropped her weapon to the ground, her head falling in defeat as Thorin pulled her into his arms. Legolas gave her a weary look and watched the scene unfold in the hall before him.

Naurfaer closed his eyes as Tauriel had released the second arrow. He stepped forward and caught Elbereth as she fell to the ground. "Elbereth! Why? WHY did you not come to me? I could have helped you, I could have made it all go away."

Naurfaer felt a hand on his cheek and he looked down. "Naufi, that night…with Ithildin….they were going to take her…as payment." She coughed, a wet, harsh, sound erupting from her throat. "I had to prove to them she was dead. So, they would not get to her. I was not strong enough to resist the ring. I should never had gone." Elbereth gasped in pain, her chest heaving even as her system began to shut down.

Naurfaer knew it was too late. There was nothing he could do. "Ithildin survived, Elbereth. She survived long enough to have had a daughter."

"She was such a beautiful babe." Elbereth gasped. "I am sure her daughter is just as enchanting."

Looking up at Tauriel, Naurfaer nodded. "She is Elbereth. She is fierce, courageous, kind, compassionate, and loves with a passion unmatched by many."

"I wish I could have…met…her." Naurfaer dropped his head as the light inside Elbereth blackened. He felt the tear in his head, and forced the connection away like he had done for so many years. He never lied, his wife was dead. She died when she became what she was.

"We need to leave. This place will not last long." Naurfaer turned to Legolas and nodded. He slid Elbereth off his lap and stood, walking over to Tauriel.

Naurfaer looked his granddaughter over, she was shaking slightly but her eyes were clear even as he lifted a hand to brush some hair from her face. "Are you alright?"

Tauriel nodded. "I am ready to leave this place." She said, her eyes lingering on the still form of Elbereth. They heard the telltale sounds of walls collapsing, and they turned towards the entrance door and walked out.

Tauriel stopped not far down the path and turned to the once practically invisible ruin. The trees had been dry thanks to the warm summer air, which only fueled the fire within, and the entire ruined fortress was engulfed in flames. "No more." Tauriel whispered.

Thorin looked up at her and took her hand gently. "Come, nâtha. Let's get back to the family." The eleth looked down at her bracelet. They were Kili's family, Thorin, Fili, and Dis. He needed them, but…where was her place now?

"I see that look you have, and don't you even think about it. We need you Tauriel, and Kili needs you. We, are your family." Tauriel lifted her eyes to him but said nothing, though she did give a barely perceptible nod and allowed him to lead the way back.

They walked the entire night, mostly in silence, and met the guards at the gates of Mirkwood late the following morning. "Welcome back. I see you found her. Is all well?" Thorin nodded at the guard. "Good. King Thranduil wanted me to inform you the food halls are open to your disposal when you return. Please, proceed there when you are ready."

"I must go report to my father. Stay well mellon, I am glad you are safe." Legolas placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and gave her a soft smile. "Should you need me, do not hesitate to call."

"Mae govannen mellon nin." Tauriel quietly responded. Legolas nodded and walked towards his father's halls.

"I wish to speak to you both. Is there a place we can do so discreetly?" Tauriel looked at Naurfaer, who had been uncharacteristically silent since the moment they left the flaming ruins. Tauriel thought, then nodded. She guided them both down a flight of stairs and into a small, covered courtyard surrounded by trees. It was obviously unused, as many of the trees and plant life were growing wild and free. Tauriel sat on a marble bench and waited for Thorin and Naurfaer to take a seat. She was unsurprised the mountain king took the place beside her, leaving the only free place for Naurfaer being the bench several feet away.

Naurfaer sat, and quietly contemplated how he wished to voice his thoughts. "Before I say what I am to say, I want you to know Tauriel, I would have done the same. Even knowing what I do, the end result was really the only way. I love Kili. It was the heart of a vile creature who did what they did." He paused and rubbed his hands down his face.

"You knew her." Tauriel said calmly.

Naurfaer hummed in response. "She was my wife, and your grandmother."

Tauriel sighed and nodded her head slowly. She was too numb for shock anymore. Maybe if her husband was not…whatever he was. Maybe if she was in a better place in her mind, she would have been floored by such a statement. But right now, someone could have told her Galaddal could sprout wings and fly, and she would have nodded in agreement.

Instead Tauriel just, sat watching him. She did have a question though. "Why? What would cause someone to do such a thing?"

Naurfaer sighed and ran his hands through his auburn hair. "In truth, I am unsure. I can make guesses…but that is all they would be." He looked between Thorin who had his arms folded and Tauriel who sat waiting. He nodded. "Alright. I knew she wanted a child. We were having difficulty conceiving one. Knowing what I know now, my best guess was, in her despair, she fell into the wrong company. It is likely they promised her all she desired, as these beings and clans often do. They do not trust the fates when what they want most is promised to them, regardless of the heavy price. I assume they had begun using the ring on her and she could not handle its power, or resist it."

Tauriel watched him. "But you did have a child." She finally said.

Naurfaer looked at her, seeing his daughter in her features. She looked so much like Ithildin. "We did. Whether that was fate, a happy accident, or by some, nefarious or dark powers I cannot say. Ithildin was in no ways dark or unnatural. She was everything one would expect from an elfling, and an elven female. There was no indication anything untoward had happened. Neither is there any in you. Which leads me to believe it was just, a happy accident or fate. Regardless, the last day I saw my wife, it appeared she had been trying to kill our Ithildin. Elbereth said differently once she was free of the ring."

Naurfaer took a breath then continued. "Whatever that order she belonged to was, they were trying to build something and they were looking for those who would join. Elbereth said they wanted Ithildin. Likely to turn her young and train her in their ways. She must have still had a bit of herself in her because she claims she was trying to get us away. I did not see it then, and left her for dead with some orcs. I knew she survived. I knew she was somewhere out there. Elbereth that is. My wife died the night she tried to kill our daughter. My wife was gone."

Tauriel was unsure what to think. She sat in silence wondering what to say, but Naurfaer was unfinished. "I only just saw her again moments before she fell. I saw that…ring….on her finger and only then did I have a better idea of what likely had transpired. The ring corrupted her mind. It turned her into that monster. I severed the ring from her hand, and the influence fled her mind, leaving only Elbereth behind. For one moment, she was my wife again."

"She tortured my husband, then she bragged about it. I am not sorry for what I did." Tauriel growled.

Naurfaer smiled at his granddaughter. "As you shouldn't be. There are few things in this world that are unforgivable. That, I feel, is among them. I do not blame you Tauriel. I thank you for having the strength to do what I could not. I wanted you both to know this, but it is not why I asked you here."

Thorin and Tauriel gave Naurfaer a questioning look and the elf watched them carefully. "When I found you Tauriel, underneath that stone giant. I knew something was off about you. I knew you were not immortal, but that is not difficult to sense if you are practiced enough." He gave her a smile. "I also knew you had a touch of the afterlife in you. You had returned from the dead."

Tauriel watched Naurfaer, neither confirming nor denying his claims as he continued. "I thought, well, I thought it had just happened, considering your predicament. Not many could survive a stone giant falling on them. However, it was only recently that I began to see a different picture; one that included a certain dwarven family." Naurfaer gave Thorin a look who was being equally as quiet, though now he sat with his arms crossed over his chest and a narrow-eyed look directed at Naurfaer. The elf just rolled his eyes.

"It is true." Naurfaer looked at Tauriel, who eyed Thorin, as if to ask for permission or guidance, the latter being more likely. Thorin nodded. Naurfaer was family. Taking a breath, Tauriel relayed everything from Valinor to waking up and seeing her parents, meeting the king, her connection to Kili, and having to go through the battle of five armies twice. Naurfaer listened silently, nodding in places and rubbing his temples in others.

"Alright. Not exactly what I had guessed, but I think this is actually better." Naurfaer sat thinking. He watched Tauriel for a moment then made his decision. "Tauriel. What Kili has is not normal amnesia. His mind has been shattered and those memories will never come back. I know you hope they will, but it just is not possible. I believe those memories are gone. But, I think I have an idea of something that can help. I cannot promise you I can restore Kili fully, the memories of these past two years are lost Tauriel, but, the memories from how you first met do not have to be."

Tauriel jumped to her feet, her eyes wide and her heart pounding. "WHAT! How?"

Naurfaer shifted. "Well, you know I am old, very old. I was among the first to come to Arda. I did not do so traditionally. I came here by a gate from Valinor that I created myself. If my thinking is correct, Manwe has Kili's memories from his first life. I will go to Valinor, and I will plead with him to free them. I do not know if I will succeed, but, I will not sit here and let you suffer if there is something I can do. I love you too much for that Tauriel. I failed Elbereth. I failed Ithildin. I will not fail you."

Tauriel shook her head. "No. That is too risky. Valinor is for the dead. If you go, you may not be able to come back." Naurfaer sat silently watching her.

Thorin looked at Naurfaer then at Tauriel. He rose from his seat and stood beside her. "I think he knows and accepts that Tauriel."

But Tauriel was having none of it. "You cannot. I will not allow it. You are the last blood relative I have! You cannot go!"

Naurfaer smiled. "A blood relative I may be, but you and I both know I have never quite been family to you. Your place, your family, is not among elves, it is among dwarves. I lost my wife, I raised my child alone. I will not see my granddaughter being forced in the same situation when I have a chance to do something. Let me do this for you Tauriel. Let me do this for Kili. He is my grandson, and it is killing me seeing you both in so much pain. Please Tauriel."

Tauriel did not know what to do. She did not know what to say. If she said no, Kili will never be the same. He will never remember her. What would life be like? Manwe said they were soulmates. She was his one. But when one's mind is so shattered as his has been, could he love her again?

If she said yes, she may lose Naurfaer. Her grandfather she took for granted these last several years. The elf who she swatted away because she trusted nobody outside her little dwarven family who she clung so desperately to. And what about her Finli? Her precious son who would grow never knowing his great grandfather, who Tauriel had thought would be around to guide him long after she and Kili had left middle earth.

Tauriel felt the tears fall from her eyes and Naurfaer pulled her into his arms. She refused to give permission, but she would not make him stay either. "Let me go Tauriel, so that you might live my granddaughter. I promise, I will try and return. You may not be rid of me yet. Have hope, little star." He held her for several minutes then pulled away.

"I will leave now. The longer I stay the more difficult it will be. It should not take me long." Tauriel nodded. He bent down and kissed her cheek then turned to Thorin.

"You don't need to say a word." Thorin spoke, interrupting whatever Naurfaer was about to say. "She is and will always be cared for. Whether Kili accepts it or not, Tauriel is our family. I love her as my own, and always will."

Naurfaer nodded, giving Thorin a grateful smile and clasping his hand tightly. The elf was surprised when Thorin drew him into a tight hug. "You're family too. Try and come back. The mountain won't be quite as amusing without you."

The elf laughed brightly. "You will eat those words Thorin."

The normally surly king looked unrepentant however and smirked. "I look forward to the day I do."

Naurfaer was touched. He too had forgotten what it was to have a family, forget forgotten, he had never actually had one. How easy it was to forget he and Tauriel belonged to a completely different race when they fit so well among the dwarves.

Naurfaer gave Tauriel one last hug, cupped her cheek, and turned to leave. On his way to the gates, he ran into Fili and Viltarra, Hiril sitting at her feet. However, the young dam jumped up when she saw his approach. "Naurfaer! Did you find Tauriel!? Is she alright?"

The elf nodded. "She is just in the courtyard not far with Thorin. They will be up soon, but I must bid you farewell."

Viltarra was taken aback, glancing back at Fili who was now standing beside her, before she looked back up at Naurfaer. "WHAT? Wherever are you going?"

"Tauriel can fill you in, but I wish to say goodbye and thank you. I am sure I will miss your dwarven ceremony. A pity. It was on my list of things I have always wished to witness. No matter though. Come here!" Naurfaer pulled Viltarra close and as she was linked firmly to Fili, he was pulled in as well for a tight embrace.

"You are coming back?" Viltarra asked, her voice muffled by Naurfaer's tunic. Naurfaer said nothing, only smiled. He looked down at Hiril and squatted low.

"You stay here and be good." Naurfaer then lifted his eyes to Fili and Viltarra. "Might I ask a favor? Can you watch out for her for me? I do not wish to take her, it is not a safe journey for her kind."

Fili was about to argue but Viltarra stepped on his foot, effectively shutting him up. "Of course, but only while you are gone. We expect you to come back, understood?"

Unable to make such promises, Naurfaer patted her shoulder and smiled at Fili. He scratched Hiril behind the ear once more and turned to leave, the pair watching him go silently.

The red-headed elf quickly made it to the gates of the elven city, but stopped in place. Tauriel stood just before him, holding the reins of her beloved horse who was nuzzling her shoulder.

"Take him. He will make your journey swifter and if you, I mean, should you…he is able to find his way back home." Naurfaer understood what she was not saying and nodded. He kissed her brow and took the reins, hopping on.

"Goodbye, Manwe." Tauriel smiled through her tears.

"Goodbye Galadriel." He easily responded, Tauriel sobbing out a laugh.

Naurfaer gave her one last bow of the head, and pushed Galaddal into a canter and out of sight.

Tauriel wiped her tears and felt something large land on her shoulder and nuzzle her braids. "Nana."

"Hello my love." She scratched Kaw's feathered head and turned back towards Mirkwood's inner structure.

Tauriel walked with her head held high and her heart in pain. She was losing everyone. Spotting Fili and Viltarra, she shook the thought from her head. No. That was not right. She was not alone in this.

"Mam has been beside herself with worry, and you look terrible little sister. What in the name of Mahal were you thinking?" Fili pointed a finger at her and huffed. "Do not think, for one moment, that I will be keeping this from Kili when he comes to himself. He will be livid, and you will be in SO much trouble. Now, get in there before they have to sedate mam…again."

Tauriel paused. "But…Kili…"

"Can stuff it." Fili quickly responded. "He needs to get used to you being around." Tauriel looked unsure so Fili took her hands in his. "Tauri, my brother has been through, unspeakable things. I do not have to tell you that. But your year has not been a pleasant walk in the summer wood. I know how you are connected; I know you felt much, if not all of his pain in a fashion. I also know that you carry the weight of it even now. Kili will get through this, and so will you. But neither of you will do it alone. Now. Get in there."

Finally, after a moment of silence, Tauriel nodded, then stepped in through the door.

"I am telling you Dis, she is unharmed." Thorin's eyes caught the opening door and he gestured to Dis. "See, sister. Here she is."

Tauriel came fully into the room, spotting Vin and Tarrah napping against each other in a large chair in the far corner. She gave a small nod in greeting to Dwalin and Aeodhen, who must have arrived with Tarrah, then smiled as Kaw jumped off her shoulder and onto the table beside Dwalin, the large dwarf rolling his eyes as he relinquished some of his meal to the bird.

"Do not spoil him master Dwalin." Tauriel gave him a look, and the dwarf smiled, but continued feeding the raven.

The eleth tried not to look over at the far bed, having no desire to see the look of hate and anger in Kili's eyes, but she was powerless to stop herself. She turned her head just a bit, bracing herself, but he was just watching her warily. Maybe it is not as bad as she thought. She gave him a smile though he did not return it, instead, he went back to the parchment he had in his lap. He was sketching. What, she could not see, but it did warm her to see him doing something so familiar.

"Tauriel. Come. Sit." Tauriel drew her eyes away from Kili and moved towards Dis. She was going to sit on the bed opposite from Thorin, but Dis scooted herself over and patted the bed beside her. Exhausted beyond measure, emotionally, mentally, and physically, Tauriel sat and leaned against the pillows and headboard. She said nothing but slowly leaned in to place her head against Dis's shoulder.

It was the first time she has seen Dis in nine months apart from when she had initially entered the room the previous day. At that time, Dis was still resting and healing. "Are you well, amad?"

Dis kissed her brow and nodded. "Quite my daughter. Even more so now that you are here. We have much to talk about and I want to hear all about Finli. But for now…"

Dis took one look at her elven daughter beside her on the bed and turned to Thorin. "Brother, can you pass me the blanket just there?"

Thorin nodded and did as he was asked as Dis turned to Tauriel. "You look like the dead dear. Come, lay out and sleep."

Tauriel sat forward and shook her head. "Oh, no Dis. Thank you, but I think it best I find my own bed, I do not wish to take over yours."

Dis Tutted. "I have not seen my daughter in 9 months, when I do, it is after she ran off and from what I hear, decided to personally exact revenge." The young eleth bit her lip, Kili looking over at her with a calculating look. Tauriel sighed, then turned her attention back to Dis. "Do not think you are not getting a good talking to about that when you are in a better place to receive one. I did NOT force myself to survive so my daughter can go get herself killed practically the day we are finally freed. Now. Lay down, get comfortable, and rest. We will be leaving for Erebor tomorrow."

Tauriel bit her lip, but the bed was large, warm, and inviting. She had also missed Dis deeply. She needed her family, and her family was here for her. She was not alone. Tauriel finally gave in and scooted herself to lie flat and turned to her side. She lay her head in Dis's lap and closed her eyes. She smiled as she felt Thorin place the blanket over her and Dis release her tight braids holding her hair back and began running her hands through Tauriel's flaming locks. Between the quiet of the room, and Dis's soft ministrations, Tauriel slowly drifted off to sleep.

"It is not your decision to make…or is it the dwarven way to make decisions for others?"

"That is rich coming from you, Thranduil."

Tauriel sighed. Nothing like being woken to the sounds of arguing.

"I said you should take this outside! Now you have woken her over something so foolish. Thorin, it is her decision what she is to do. I for one will stand by her, whatever she decides."

"I as well." That would be Dis and Fili's voices, one after the other.

Tauriel lifted her head and pushed the hair away that fell into her face. She could feel her family beads hitting her skin and she looked up through a curtain of red to see Thorin and Thranduil glaring at each other, while Fili looked beyond exasperated. She peaked over at Kili's bed, but it was empty. Her eyes shot to Fili who smiled. "He went to go clean up. He is with Dwalin and Aeodhen so he is fine."

Tauriel released a breath and nodded. "What is all this about then." She sat up and asked.

Thorin growled and folded his arms. "Your king has a…suggestion."

Tauriel sighed again. "'Thorin, I respect Thranduil greatly, and our alliance. But you know he is not my king." She turned to Thranduil who looked nonplussed by her statement, probably expecting it, then she looked back at Thorin who seemed to relax, if just slightly. "Now, what is this suggestion?"

Thranduil stood silently for a moment, then gave her a hard look. "There is no pain greater than that of losing a mate, Tauriel, when one is so deeply connected as you are."

Tauriel stiffened and hissed. "My Kili is not dead."

"Yet he remembers you not, is that any different?" The elven king lifted a brow, though his expression was unchanged. "This is no injury induced memory loss, this is done through ways which are, irreversible. All that he was, all that he went through, all that he had with you is gone." Tauriel closed her eyes, the pain of the truth engulfing her as she struggled to breathe.

Dis wrapped her in her arms and snarled at Thranduil. "This is unnecessary Thranduil! I agreed to you speaking to her, and to give your suggestions. But I did not agree for you to harm my child."

Thranduil took a step forward, meeting Dis's glare head on with is own. "She is not your child Lady Dis, nor is she of your people. Perhaps it was the fates who have finally spoken. Perhaps this is the Valar declaring the, unnatural, connection you have to this, daughter of the forest, goes against both yours, and our very nature." He looked unconcerned at the volatile expressions of the dwarves around the room.

Tauriel heard some shuffling in the far end of the large healing chamber and turned to see Viltarra and her parents walking forward. Viltarra's brown eyes watched her quietly, and she gave Tauriel a small smile before the eleth turned back to her former king.

"Tauriel's place is among her own people, it would be best for both her fractured mind, and your sons recovery, if she returned to Mirkwood…permanently." Thranduil then turned from Dis to Tauriel. "I have taken the liberty of having rooms prepared for you. You and your son are expected when you have taken the time to gather the belongings you wish to bring. He need not suffer as you, Tauriel. He will have a place with Mirkwood, and I give you my word, will be treated no differently than others his age."

"Son?"

Thorin sighed and turned to see Kili stepping in. His hair was pulled back in his customary style, and his beard neatly brushed but clear. It was still too short for braids, but, given a few months it will likely be sporting some. He wore the clothes Tauriel brought for him, but they hung loosely off his diminished frame. It will take some time yet for him to regain the muscle and weight he lost in captivity.

The room was quiet, everyone unsure what to say. Thorin shook his head at Kili. "We will explain later."

"Explain what?" Kili snarled. "That this elf, who is supposedly my wife, has a son? Who is its father than? Was it before me or after?"

"It is you." Tauriel growled. Memories or not, she was livid he would even suggest such a thing. Kili watched her carefully.

Before he could say anything, however, Thorin spoke, glaring up at Thranduil. "No. I will not allow it. Tauriel's child is an heir to the mountain. His place is there, with his people and his family."

"And Tauriel's place is here, with her people." Thranduil easily rebutted. "I do not think the suggestion she comes home is unreasonable, but I am not so cruel I would separate her from her child. Regardless of parentage." Thranduil coldly declared.

Tearing her eyes from Kili's, Tauriel looked between Thorin and Thranduil, they were deciding her fate and not even taking in account what she wanted.

"She belongs with her family." Tauriel looked over at Fili, Viltarra now at his side and her parents just behind them.

"She HAS no family. The last blood member she had left hours ago." Thranduil scoffed. Had these, 'suggestions' and thoughts come from any other being, Tauriel would have thought them to be cruel and uncaring, but Thranduil…his purpose was not to harm, but to make those around him see reality. The problem was, reality for one can be a much different reality for another. The truth of which was evident when three dwarves in the room hissed and growled at Thranduil's statement. Thorin stepping closer to where Dis and Tauriel sat, Fili taking the other side, and Dis pushing herself forward enough to place herself protectively in front of Tauriel.

"What do you know of FAMILY!?" Thorin snarled.

Tauriel looked around her. She could see the…kindness…in Thranduil's suggestion. Or at least what he considered as kindness. He will never, in the countless years he has, understand her choice, or her relationship with the dwarves.

"You are right, Lord Thranduil." All eyes in the room turned to Tauriel.

"Tauri?" Tauriel shook her head at Fili, and placed her hand on Dis's shoulder when she felt her stiffen.

"You are right that I belong with my people." Tauriel continued. "But, they are not those of the woodland realm. My people are proud, and stubborn as stone. My people spend meals laughing, dancing, and throwing food. My people are over-protective and love with a fierceness that burns from the inside out. You are wrong, however, about many things. I have a family. A brother who is always by my side when I need him, a mother who, from the moment I entered her home in Ered Luin, has accepted me as one of her own. A father who has taught me what real honor and strength is. I have a husband…" Tauriel choked and forced the tears not to fall. "Who may not know who I am, but, I have had two precious years getting to know him. He has taught me that I am beautiful, inside and out, and when we are together, anything and everything is possible. Among the dwarven people you think are so much lower than yourself, I have found a happiness I never thought possible, and a place I can never give up. I am loved, I am respected, and I will take any pain that comes my way if they but allow me to stay with them."

Dis pulled Tauriel into her arms and held her, the eleth could feel the tears falling into her hair. "Precious girl, there is no other place we wish you to be."

"And what of your son? How will he be affected being raised with a father who has no memory or love for him?" Thranduil asked.

Tauriel pushed away from Dis, though the dam refused to fully let her go. "My son's place is with his people, his family, and his father." Tauriel looked over at Kili who looked uncomfortable but met her eyes. "I thank you for all you have done, and for your concern. But…I know my Kili, though he may not know me. He would never bring his son harm. He has a right to know his son, in whatever capacity he is ready for. I will not be the mother who separates her child from his father. It will be difficult for Finli, and Kili, I know this. But, I will not live with the regrets or resentments that would come if I stay here."

"If, you are sure." Thranduil gave Tauriel a once over, but she simply smiled and nodded as she looked over at Thorin.

"When can we go home?" Thorin's blue eyes shined as he gave her his own smile.

However, it was Thranduil who answered. "You may leave whenever you are ready. Tauriel, my offer is an open one. Go, back to the mountain with your dwarves. But, know you have a place here should you…or your son…need it." Thranduil did not wait for anything further to be said, instead he swept from the room and down the halls to oversee preparations of the small party leaving.

Fili turned from the door to his sister. "Well, that was interesting. Is he always like that?"

Viltarra hit Fili, telling him to behave as Tauriel chuckled and nodded. "That was actually quite kind of him. I am afraid it was his sentimental side kicking in."

"So, I have a wife, who is an elf…and a son. Anything else you want to spring on me?" Kili grumbled as he began placing his few things into a bag brought by Tauriel the day before.

Fili hummed in thought. "Well, we killed the dragon, fought in an epic battle and won…the second time around…and now reside in the halls of our fathers. Oh, and we have a pet warg…also that lump of black and white is your feathered child. Do not be surprised when he calls you 'ada' which is father in Sindarin."

Kili looked at the raven whose head was tucked under his wing as he lay asleep in a pile of blankets on a chair. A raven he could get behind, the knowledge that he had a son was something more. As for a dragon, epic battle, and hall of their fathers…he is unsure of. And did his brother say a warg? Kili shook his head. This was becoming overwhelming. It was not as if someone took his mind and severed it from a specific age or year. Kili has his knowledge and skills, but he could not tell you where he received it. He knows Dis, Thorin, and Fili and has several scattered memories with them, but they were disjointed and incomplete. They were there though, mostly of when he was younger in a place he could not name.

Tauriel, however, was nothing to him. Her red hair caused chills to run down his spine and made him want to be sick. It was difficult even being in the room with her, but his family here made it manageable. He did not think he could handle it alone. Yet, something deep inside him was equally sick with the idea of being away from her. The same something the growled and snarled at the idea of her remaining here and staying with the other elves. The same something that wanted to run his hands through her hair, and pull her into his arms. The same something that he pushed harshly away.

It did feel odd to see his family so protective of her though. He wondered if it was some, elvish magic. But shook that from his mind. Kili doubts all three of them would succumb to such spells if they were even in existence, nor would Dwalin or Aeodhen who seemed just as content to have her near. He doesn't know about the blonde dam though, or her family. They are just as strange to Kili, as Tauriel.

Kili looked down at the piece of parchment he had been sketching on. It would have to have been HER face that made it from his hand to the page. Crumpling it up in his fist, Kili shoved it into the bag brought for him and placed the rest of the few things he had into the bag and turned to help his family.

Dis, though well on her way to recovery, had been so compromised by nearly a year of poison in her system, was still quite weak when out of bed. It was Tauriel and Viltarra who helped her dress and Thorin who later slipped his fur lined vest over her shoulders. It was quite a warm, summer, day. Yet, Dis was shaking with chills. At the looks of worry around her, Ivethin gave them all a reassuring smile. "It is nothing to be concerned of. Her body is working to neutralize the poison. She may have a fever and chills for several weeks yet. I have packed some herbs to help, along with some ointments for Kili's more severe wounds still healing. None will scar but many will take time to fully close. I have also enclosed written instructions for master Oin. If he has any concerns, please have him send a raven. Is there anything further I can help you with?"

"No Ivethin. This is most appreciated. I thank you for all you have done for my family, and Kili." Ivethin nodded and pulled Tauriel into an embrace.

"Do not lose hope, Tauriel." Ivethin whispered into her friend's ear. "If anyone is stubborn enough to get her dwarf back, mind, body, and soul, it is you. AND if any dwarf could fight and claw his way through this, it is Kili. Do not believe what others say. You belong with each other. Anyone with eyes and a heart can see it."

Tauriel tightened her arms around her friend and mentor. "Thank you, Ivethin." She pulled away and wiped her eyes then, squared her shoulders and went to the cart Aeodhen was sitting upon. Tauriel climbed up to sit beside Fili and Viltarra, across from Kili and Dis. A yell and a lurch and they were moving back to Erebor. Back to her son. Back home.

Naurfaer sat atop Galaddal. He took in his surroundings and huffed. "I know the gate is here somewhere." He eyed a small patch of forest and smiled. "Ah. There you are." He patted Galaddal's neck. "Lucky isn't it that it is so close to the lonely mountain. Two weeks ride and he was at where he needed to be.

The question is, where was it he needed to stay. Shaking the thought from his head, he pushed the horse forward. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's see if we can even access the gate before we think beyond that." He would not fail his granddaughter or grandson. He will get through that gate if he has to drag Manwe into it personally to do so.

Back at the mountain two weeks earlier, Tauriel hopped off the cart and Kili watched as she sprinted inside the mountain and out of sight. He was torn between wanting to ask where she went, not actually caring, and trying to overcome the shock of what he was seeing around him.

"Welcome to Erebor little brother." Kili turned to Fili and nodded as he stepped down, his eyes back on the doorway where Tauriel had disappeared through.

"She went to go relieve Shaada of her…your son. She has been away several days and is quite anxious to see him." It was Tarrah's voice who gave the answer to Kili's internal thoughts.

"Do you blame her? No mother wishes to be away from their child. It's instinct calling her to where she is needed and wishes to be." Dis nodded in agreement with Tarrah who had her arms wrapped around Viltarra, pulling her close. Viltarra smiled and twisted to pull her mother into a tighter embrace.

Kili gave them a small smile and could not stop himself from putting an arm around his own mother. His mother who had also been gone for nine months, who had been there the entire time. Who had nearly died. Kili kissed her temple but nearly fell forward when something hard hit his still tender back. Dis covered her laugh as Kili turned to see a small black horse lifting its head high, nickering loudly.

"…Maryn?...yes…MARYN!" Kili laughed as he released his mother and wrapped his arms around his beloved mare while the others watched fondly. Kili always developed deep attachments, be that to family, friend, or animal. When he loved, he loved completely. For this reason, his family knew eventually, all will be well. They would simply need to get through these difficult times, and nobody gets through difficult times better than Durin's folk.

"KILI! AH LADDIE!" Before Kili had a chance to turn around he was engulfed by a familiar, hatted dwarf. But he was not the only familiar face. Seven others came and surrounded them, pulling Kili close. Over their heads, he could see the equally familiar white bearded dwarrow scholar pulling Dis into a hug, tears in his eyes as he took her in then turned his head and nodded at Kili. "Welcome home lad. Welcome home."

"Ye ought teh see yer young one. Spittin' image he is. All 'is father. Cept' the ears. Bit pointed, but equally adorable." Bombur smiled kindly.

"Aye. I miss his little laugh. With you back, I hope it rings through the halls once again." Bofur added in fondly.

Kili looked to the ground and nodded slowly, Dis coming to his rescue. "Alright, enough is enough, stop crowding him. Kili, come my darling. Let us go up and get settled. I think I am quite in need of some time with my baby." Kili was torn between groaning, mortified by her calling him her baby, and wanting to grab her hand and run. He was saved from both when Fili put his arm around Kili's shoulder and guided his brother out. A look back saw Thorin and Balin helping Dis, and Vin, Tarrah, and Viltarra taking up the rear of the group.

They were met in the sitting room by Oin who had a parchment and some supplies in front of him. He was reading through whatever was listed and nodding as he placed the paper down. "Right. Ivethin sent all this and some information on wha' teh do. Firs' thins' firs. Welcome home, the three of yeh."

Oin looked at Dis who smiled and nodded, Viltarra who was now tucked into Fili's side, then finally at Kili. "Yeh may no' understand now lad, bu' yeh were missed more than yeh know." He placed a hand on the young prince's shoulder and turned to Dis. "I am steeping some tea fer 'erbs Ivethin sent lass. She said it was best yeh, remain in bed for the next week or two." He leveled a look at Kili. "And yeh for at least another few days. I have ointment fer yeh."

Oin shuffled through the supplies and handed Kili a small glass bottle. "It don' take much and if yeh canno' do it yerself, ask fer help."

Kili nodded and looked around the room. Unsure of where to go. "Where's Tauri?" Kili looked to Fili who was eyeing the hall.

"Think she was headed teh Shaada. She all bu' ran up to me, flung these in me arms and said tha' I would be needed here. Then ran off. Don' blame 'er really. She's a good mam." He smiled at Kili then proceeded to usher Dis down the hall.

"Come on Ki. You're going to stay with me." Fili declared.

"We don't all stay together?" Kili thought, then groaned at the look Fili gave him.

"What, and deal with you and Tauriel constantly undressing each other with your eyes?" Fili wrinkled his nose in clear distaste. "Look. I love you little brother, and I love Tauri deeply, but, it was best you and her have your own…private…quarters."

One look at his brother and Fili regretted his words instantly, he regretted it even more when Viltarra whacked him upside the head. "That was a STUPID thing to say." She glared at him.

"Right. Sorry Ki. Come on though, I will show you where you can sleep." Kili nodded solemnly and followed Fili down the hall. The dam who he had been introduced to but spoken little to, Viltarra, had her hand intwined in Fili's as the pair walked side by side in front of him.

Kili looked around the room as they entered what he assumed was Fili's chambers. It was not huge, but not small either. There were no windows, only a large fireplace, a lounge chair, a large chaise, a desk, and several bookshelves making up the main portion of the chamber. Four doors he was not sure where they led could be seen from the sitting room, two down a small hall, and two across the room.

Fili smiled and indicated to his suite as Viltarra brushed past him and sat on the chaise, removing her boots and settling in comfortably. "My space, is yours Ki. Come on in. When mam found out I was getting married, she gave me a larger chamber, so there is plenty of room to share. Tauri's and…well…Tauri, is just next door in the largest of the rooms, and mam and Thorin share an equally large chamber as mine across the hall from Tauri. There are a few more smaller chambers in this particular hallway as well, one of which is used by Naurfaer a few doors down."

At Kili's curious look, Fili continued as he gestured to his brother to come further into the chamber, since Kili was still standing in the doorframe, gaping at the room. "Mam said there are two other halls filled with chambers in the royal wing as well, but they are still inaccessible and in need of repair, but it will be a while before they are fixed up and habitable as it would be a waste of resources since we don't really need the space right now. We also have a kitchen, formal dining room, and of course the common sitting room. Mam and Tauri are the only ones with windows, though Tauri wins with a magnificent terrace attached to her room. Her suite was a gift from Thorin, who I will warn you now, tends to dote on her far more than any of us thought Thorin capable of."

Fili chuckled to himself as he continued to ramble on, going about the room and placing knives in a rack against the wall and divesting himself of his outer coat and vest. He stopped and signaled for Kili to follow him through one of the doors across the room he had noticed upon his entry. "Tauri said she will bring some of your things over for you later. You can have this room though. It is the only other one besides mine with a bathing-room attached."

Kili took in the large bed and sparse furniture around the room. There was a chest and good sized closet cabinet tucked in a corner as well as another door which must be the bathing room Fili had mentioned. Kili sighed and sat hard on the bed.

"Hang in there Ki." Fili said as he sat on the bed beside his brother. "It will all turn out."

"Have you lost your mind, Fili?" Kili all but shouted out at his brother, then leveled him with a glare, though his features were more saddened then angry. "I am supposed to be married…to an elf, who I don't even know. I have a child. Again, who I don't even know. How can I be a father Fi! I feel nothing when they mention him. No…fatherly feelings, or…love…just…nothing. Will I even recognize him as mine? What am I supposed to do?"

Fili pulled his brother into his arms. "First of all, be patient with yourself. Nobody expects anything from you Ki. Not with what you have been through. Not me, not Tauriel, not mam or Thorin. Secondly…." He pulled back and chuckled. "Ki…I do not think anyone with eyes would deny, that child is yours. I have not seen him in nearly half a year, but last I did, he was literally a miniature version of you, well, minus the beard. Well done little brother." He smiled, tugging on the whiskers across Kili's face. He let the smile fall a bit, and gave Kili a more serious look. "Don't try to force it Ki. Just, give what you can and take your time." Kili nodded and Fili patted him on the shoulder.

After a few moments of silence, Kili finally gave Fili a smile. "Now tell me about your dam, Viltarra. I have to say, it is…different seeing you so attached."

Fili laughed. "Oh aye. I am fully hers. It took me awhile to accept it, but once I did, I have never been happier. In truth, I have you and Tauriel to thank for that. One day, you will understand. Now, I believe you were told to get into bed and stay there. I think I should tell you Oin has little patience for you and your inability to stay still. Maybe, surprise him a bit and relax." Fili stood. "If you need anything, I will be just in the other room."

Fili gave Kili one last look and left the bedchamber, shutting the door behind him. He smiled when he spotted Viltarra sitting on the lounge with Hiril at her socked feet. The blonde prince sighed in pleasure at seeing her just where she belonged, home. He then lifted a brow as he realized what was on her feet, those where not just any socks, those were his socks. But, he did not say anything about them, as it warmed him inside to see her wearing his things.

Then, Fili turned to the warg, and he glared at the dog like creature. "How did that thing get in here?"

Viltarra narrowed her eyes at Fili. "I let her in. I promised Naurfaer I would look after her, actually, WE promised but, as you are barely able to care for yourself, I figured I would front the responsibility."

Fili snickered and sat beside her, draping his arm over Viltarra's shoulders and pulling her close. "Where did your parents go? Are they joining us as well?"

Viltarra shook her head. "Ma is with da in Tauriel's chamber for the moment, but I believe they are talking about going back to their own chamber tonight once they gathered all of mothers things. Tauriel made sure she was up here when I was gone. I need to thank her for making sure ma was alright."

Fili hummed and buried his nose in her hair. "You don't need to thank her, it is what family does. Besides, I think they looked after each other."

Viltarra sat quietly, leaning into her one as she sighed to herself. "Fili, I was wrong about your family."

Fili opened his eyes and pulled away, just looking at her as she elaborated. "When that situation with Tauriel being poisoned had happened, all I saw was your family abandoning her. I watched my friend slowly dying and none of you seemed to notice or, care enough to take a moment to even look at her. Even after, I watched carefully and it was difficult to see as an outsider that anything much had changed, though Tauriel did always have someone with her after that. I assumed it was a sort of guard duty." She grabbed Fili's hand and played with one of his fingers idly. "It was not until in that room, with the elven king suggesting that she remain in Mirkwood, then watching your family rally around Tauriel and seeing the fear in yours, Dis's, and Thorin's faces that Tauriel may consider leaving Erebor, that I realized how close you all are. She really is your sister, isn't she?"

Fili smiled. He lay back and pulled Viltarra with him, guiding her head to rest over his heart as he laid them out fully on the chaise. "In every way, Tauriel is my sister. Even if Kili never…"

Viltarra nodded, understanding what he was unable to finish saying. "He will."

Fili lifted his head to look down at her, but she had her eyes focused across the room at the door to where Kili was resting. "You know that for sure?"

Viltarra smiled. "I know that if it were me, I would fall in love with you all over again. I do not doubt Kili will with Tauriel. They feel too much for each other. After all, you were there in the afterlife. Did she not say that both the king of the Valar themselves as well as Mahal had said they were a pair, soulmates, each other's one? To me, that means in any life, in any age, their hearts would call to the other. They are meant for each other."

Fili hoped she was right. Rubbing his hand up and down her back, he could not help but think the same of them. They, were meant for each other. Eyes widening, Fili slid his hand up from his dam, to the pendant still around his neck. He carefully unlatched it and pulled it free, grasping it in his hand for her to see. "Viltarra?"

The dam hummed and lifted herself enough to look at him, then her eyes widened and filled with tears when she realized what he held. "I thought I would never see that again." She choked out a sob as Fili reached up and fastened it around her neck.

"I found it, the day you disappeared from me, nunguame." Nunguame. My flower. Viltarra hated nicknames. She found them tedious and unsuitable for her. But…this one….from Fili's lips, felt right. So, rather than correcting him, she smiled and leaned down to place her lips on his, pulling away a few moments later and fingering the flower pendant hanging from her neck.

"It was my only connection to you." Fili ran his hands through her hair then down the chain of the pendant.

"I cannot say how happy I am to have it returned, and to just be here, with you. I love you, my Fili. Thank you, for never giving up on me." Viltarra stared into his blue eyes, and Fili lifted a hand to brush her cheek tenderly.

"I will never, ever, give up on you, nunguame. For as long as I breathe, I will fight to keep you by my side." Fili pulled her lips back to his for a lingering kiss.

Fili sighed contently as Viltarra pulled away, shifting just a bit to lay against his chest; only to freeze in place, hissing out in pain before growling out…"Fili?"

The blonde prince looked down at her in concern. "Yes?"

"You missed a knife." Fili gave her a crooked grin as she sat up, stuck her hand in his tunic, and pulled a serrated blade from a hidden pocket. She lifted a brow and glared at him. "They all come off at night when we are wed. Understood?" Fili groaned and sat back. "Understood?"

With a deep breath, Fili relented solemnly. "Understood."

Tauriel knocked on Shaada's door and slowly opened it, stepping inside. Hillanna came running out, her nightdress swinging around her feet as she ran into Tauriel's arms. "TAURI! Your home. Finli is sleeping. He was crying yesterday nearly the entire day, mam had to get something from Oin to quiet him so he would sleep. Did you find Kili? Did you find Dis? Where were they? Your hair is down. It is pretty when it is down. Oh guess what?! Amad and adad are letting Tilda come stay for a day. We are going to make jewelry. I picked out some pretty beads. Do you want to see?"

"HILLANNA! Enough." Aeodhen stepped out of one of the rooms and looked sternly at his daughter. "I am sure Tauriel is very tired my little lass, and quite eager ta see Finli. Yeh may show 'er another time. Say goodnight and will you let yer mam know Tauriel is here fer her little one."

"Okay adad." Hillanna looked at Tauriel. "Goodnight Tauri."

Tauriel smiled fondly and kissed her cheek. "Goodnight Hillanna."

The little girl slid from her arms and to the ground, giving Aeodhen a hug and kiss as well before going down the hall to her mother.

"Yeh alright lass?" Aeodhen asked, stepping up to the eleth.

Tauriel gave Aeodhen a nod. "It is…difficult."

Aeodhen hummed, the sound almost like a chuckle as he gave her an amused grin. "I 'eard a certain red-headed elf not only offed a company of spiders, but both cleared and burned down the place tha' held Kili, Dis, an' Viltarra captive."

Tauriel looked away at the wall, but nodded all the same and Aeodhen whistled. "Yeh never cease teh amaze me lass. I would 'ave done the same if it were my family. Forges, I would like my chance teh do it now!" He patted Tauriel on the arm just as Shaada came out, holding a sleeping Finli.

The eleth let out a breath of contentment. Her little baby. Her little Finli. She pulled Finli from Shaada and tucked him against her shoulder, wrapping his blanket tightly around him. "I cannot thank you enough Shaada."

The dam nodded in response as she passed Tauriel a basket containing Finli's things. "You must know, he was nearly inconsolable yesterday. I had no choice but to speak with Oin who made him a tincture to help him sleep. He has not said a peep since this morning though."

Tauriel buried her nose in his hair and inhaled his sweet sent before closing her eyes and checking his mind. Everything seemed calm, so she let him sleep peacefully. She was happy to have him back in her arms.

"I hope that is all behind us." Tauriel bid them goodnight and, placing the blanket completely over him, carried Finli up and back to the royal wing. She stopped in the kitchens and with practiced one armed action, gathered some cheese, crackers, tea and biscuits and placed them all on a tray, opting to leave the basket on the table to retrieve in the morning.

Tauriel then shifted Finli just enough to carry both him and the tray as she made her way to the chamber across from hers, using her hip to push down the doorhandle enough for it to pop open and allow Tauriel to enter the room.

The sitting room was unexpectedly empty, but the door to Dis's chamber was open and she could hear Thorin and Dis speaking quietly inside. Tauriel walked in and Thorin gave her a nod in greeting, taking the tray from her hand as Dis sat up, an excited gleam in her eyes.

"Is that my grandbaby?" Barely able to contain her excitement, Dis lifted her arms and Tauriel passed Finli to his grandmother.

"My word. He looks more and more like Kili every day!" Dis smiled fondly, tracing Finli's nose as Tauriel sat on the bed, watching her son in his grandmother's arms.

Despite Finli being asleep, Dis looked him over as best she could. In truth, he does not look too much different then he did when she last saw him nine months earlier. His hair was slightly longer, adorably falling over his brow and into his eyes, and his relaxed features were only just slightly more defined, but size wise, he was not much changed. But that was not really unexpected in a dwarven, or elven child…and he was a bit of both. They did grow slower than a human, so, he is exactly as he should be. "Is he walking?"

"You mean running." Tauriel chuckled. "However, he has not yet mastered stopping, or stairs. I have had to move sharp objects away as his feet get ahead of him and he tends to topple. He is still missing many teeth as well. I do not look forward to those nights again. Finli does not teeth well."

The elder dam traced his cheek. "Kili never teethed well either, he always had the hardest time of it." Dis leaned down and kissed Finli's brow, the babe wrinkling his nose at the action but remaining asleep in her arms. "He is so beautiful, Tauriel. I cannot believe I have missed so much."

Tauriel sighed. "I am afraid not as much as you may think. I am beginning to believe that my Finli is a little behind in some ways. He rarely speaks, hardly laughs, has no desire to play, and I am worried he has not hit all the marks he should at his age. I am afraid when I blocked his mind from Kili, I…I did more harm than good."

When both Thorin and Dis looked confused, Tauriel realized they too did not know about the mental connections between Kili, Finli, or herself so she sat back against the pillows beside Dis and told them.

Thorin was shocked, though Dis seemed to understand. "It does make sense. I have heard elves were capable of such things when we where in Mirkwood for the first time." Dis looked a bit embarrassed at Tauriel's questioning gaze. "I had asked Legolas if I was to expect anything…unique…about my future grandchild. It was Ivethin who had answered and spent a good bit telling me about what elves in our age are still able to do, outside of healing. Remarkable really. I cannot imagine how special it would be to be connected to both your unborn babe, and your growing child. It is a beautiful thing you have. Are you connected to Kili as well?"

Tauriel nodded and Dis smiled, then her smile fell from her face and she paled instantly. "You both were connected to him…you didn't feel what he went through, did you?" Tauriel's head fell, and she could do little to stop the tears begin to fall down her pale cheeks.

With years, the elven partner-bond only grew and solidified. Her connection to Kili was…deep…even in its early stage. The more she entwined her mind with Kili in the time before he was taken, the further her mind connected to his. She still could never hear his thoughts, that takes centuries of practice and talent. But, she could feel it when he was either incredibly happy, or…in great pains. So when he had been taken and they began to harm him, she felt it. It had been pain beyond description or relief. Finli felt it too, but less so than Tauriel, though enough to cause his mind to react to the pain felt by both of his parents.

"Oh, my precious child." Dis sighed.

"Why did you never say?" Thorin asked, gaping at her. All the times she collapsed, all those moments he could tell she was struggling. She was experiencing what Kili was.

Tauriel wiped her eyes and pushed her hair back. "You had enough to think about with Kili and Dis gone. I knew you were already concerned. I did not wish to make it worse with my pains."

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose, took a long, deliberate breath, and tried not to let his frustration show. "Tauriel. You have been part of this family now for four years. When you are suffering, I expect you to let us know so we can help. We do not possess the ability to read minds, we have to do it the old-fashioned way of either guessing, or acting on what we see or are being told."

Tauriel nodded. "I will endeavor to do better in the future."

Thorin sighed and stood. "I would hope so." He gave her a stern look followed by a gentle smile. "I think I will retire now. Dis, if you need anything, just call. The fire is going as you asked, and I will have food brought by in the morning. My door is wide open as well, just in case." He leaned down and kissed Dis's brow then Tauriel's, followed by Finli's, then bid them a goodnight and left the room.

Dis sat quietly watching Finli, who sighed and readjusted in her arms. She looked up at Tauriel, her voice quiet but deliberate. "Do not be overly concerned about this little one Tauriel. He has gone through some trauma, you both have. But young ones have the gift of bouncing back. He will be talking our ears off soon enough. You wait and see."

Tauriel smiled, and pulled the tray closer, spending the next hour talking quietly to Dis as the two spoke of the last nine months. Dis told Tauriel about her time with Viltarra, leaving out some of the more, painful, moments she was not ready to share. Tauriel, in turn, told Dis about Finli's first steps, to a picture of Kili across the room, and the first time he tried greens, and cried for an hour afterwards; now refusing to eat anything green in color regardless of whether it is a vegetable, or a sweet.

When Tauriel finally stood to leave, Dis tensed and grabbed her daughters wrist. "I, do you mind staying? I am not ready to be alone."

The eleth smiled. "Of course, amad." She climbed into bed and Dis lay Finli between them as they both drifted off to sleep.

Tauriel woke to something tugging on her hair. Still exhausted, she rebelled against the interruption and pulled the comforter closer. A second tug came followed by a small voice in her ear. "Mama. Up."

Tauriel instantly opened her eyes and looked into her favorite color, warm, dark, brown. "Hello my little star." Finli lay his head down on her chest and cuddled close. He really was a child of little words. Tauriel pulled him tightly against her and kissed his head tenderly. "Are you hungry darling?"

"No green."

Tauriel chuckled. "No greens."

"Nan?" Finli pointed towards the still sleeping Dis, who was just beginning to stir, and Tauriel nodded.

"Yes, Nan. Very good my darling." Fin slid from Tauriel's hold and crawled across the space between Tauriel and Dis. He then took hold of Dis's braids and began to tug, hard. Worried he would wake or hurt Dis, Tauriel reached out for her son instantly. "Finli! You must be gentle with nan darling."

It was too late though, as Dis must have been awake if the chuckle was anything to go by. She opened her eyes and leapt at Finli who startled and began to back away. Unfortunately, he lacked the coordination to do so and fell into Tauriel. The eleth laughed merrily at his troubled little expression.

Finli looked from Tauriel to Dis, torn between wanting to retreat further, or go to his nan. But after a moment, he seemed to have made up his mind and crawled across the bed to the elder dam, lifting his arms and waiting for her to snatch him up. He then went right for her braids and to Tauriel's horror, went right back to tugging. "I have failed as a mother in teaching my son manners."

Dis laughed. "Darling, he is not yet even two years of age. Still an infant. Besides, have you seen my sons? I do not think you will succeed even with 100 years of practiced mothering."

The eleth smiled and pulled herself from the bed, stretching her arms above her head as she stood. "I need to get this one fed and changed. I also told Fili I would gather some things to take to Kili from our rooms and I thought I would speak to Kili later, if he is willing. I miss him Dis. So very much. I do not wish to make him uncomfortable, but, I will not hide from him either."

"DA! DA DA DA!" Finli exclaimed, bouncing in Dis's lap.

Tauriel sighed. That was another thing she needed to decide to do. Introduce Kili to Finli in a way that would somehow not be traumatic to either of them.

"Why don't you leave him here?" Dis suggested. "Go speak to Kili and get him his things. I will change Finli and have Thorin get us some breakfast. You can join us once again for lunch."

That would be helpful, and give Tauriel a chance to speak with Kili about how comfortable he felt about meeting Finli. In truth, she just wanted to speak to Kili, though her heart pounded at the idea. Since when did she get nervous about speaking to her husband? She hated herself for the answer that swam through her mind in the form of a question…'is he your husband?'

"Thank you Dis. I will be back." Finli waived goodbye to his mother from Dis's arms and Tauriel smiled as she leaned over to kiss her son's thick hair before she left the room.

It was still early, and the morning chill filled the halls causing Tauriel to slide her hands up and down her arms to ward off the cold, despite it still being summer. It will warm up quickly when the afternoon sun beats down on the side of the mountain.

Tauriel stopped Thorin in the halls on his way to the kitchen and told him her plans. He had already ordered several breakfast trays to be sent up, telling her they should arrive within the hour, including some applesauce for Finli…not green…and some eggs.

Appeased, Tauriel then went into her chambers and began putting together an assortment of Kili's favorite things. She included an empty sketching journal, combs, his favorite soaps, and several of his clothes.

Placing it all in a crate, Tauriel left the room and went down the hallway and into Fili's suite. She smiled as she walked in, seeing Viltarra and Fili sleeping peacefully on the chaise. Hearing the shower in another room, Tauriel decided to peak into the open door.

The room was empty, but with steam coming from the closed door, Tauriel assumed Kili was in the shower. He always preferred to shower in the mornings, so it felt somehow comforting to see he still had that particular habit. She put the crate on the bed, and turned to leave the room.

Kili scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. He sat with both his arms bracing the sink and stared down. He did not sleep well. It was dark, quiet, and every time he finally drifted off, his mind filled with nightmares that were far too real. He looked up into the mirror, not even recognizing the face he saw. The eyes, the thinness, the beard, all things that were foreign to him. Who was he? He was certainly not the Kili they thought he was. That Kili was gone. Why? Why him?

In his frustration, Kili glared at the image in the mirror. The longer he staired, the less he saw himself. Unable to take it any longer, Kili roared at the taunting reflection, lifted his fist, and slammed it into the mirror. It shattered into pieces, some hanging on the frame, others falling into the water basin, and more littering the floor. Kili slid to the ground among the shattered glass, not even looking at the cuts or feeling the pain in his hand from the impact.

The door burst open and Kili lifted his eyes and peered at the image reflected in the fragments of glass all around him, only to see a familiar shade of red. She won't get him again, not this time. A buzzing filled his ears and Kili grabbed a shard of glass, unaware of his surroundings, and right as he felt the presence get close behind him, he shoved the long, menacing, shard into her thigh. Her scream pierced the room and then there was blood.

Fili heard the shattering glass and lifted his head. "KI?" He noticed Kili's room door was still open as it had been the entire night after his brother had come out and bid him goodnight. He pushed himself from under a still sleeping Viltarra and stood. He tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes as he made for Kili's room, slowly at first, at least until a scream filled the chamber.

Before Fili took another step, Thorin burst through the chamber door obviously being right out in the hall, Viltarra shot up, and Fili ran into Kili's room, then bathing room.

It was a horrific scene. Kili sat with blood covering his hands and face, and Tauriel lie still on the ground. "KILI!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Fili screamed at Kili who was looking shocked at the eleth, before turning his eyes to his uncle and brother.

Thorin dropped to the ground to assess Tauriel. She was breathing, but rapidly going pale. It took seconds to find the source, a large shard of glass was protruding from her left thigh. Fili moved to remove it but Thorin grabbed his wrist. "Don't. You will make it worse. Viltarra, go get Oin. RUN!"

Fili had not even noticed his other half behind him, but she was out of sight in seconds. Fili watched as Thorin reached for his own belt and ripped it off before securing it around Tauriel's leg…after tearing her leggings away from the gash…and tightened the belt to slow the blood-flow before turning to Fili. "Get him out. Now." The blonde nodded and turned to Kili who was gasping for air.

"Ki. I need you to come with me. It will be alright. Come on." Fili hefted Kili to his feet, the younger prince unable to look away from the sight of the elf on the floor. They passed Oin who was followed by Bofur as they ran in.

Dwalin stood in the sitting room and blanched at Kili. "Mahal." He breathed as he took in the prince saturated in blood. Without another word, he ran for the bathing room as Fili took Kili to his own washroom in his bedchamber, then turned the shower on and set the heat high, gently pushing his brother under the warm spray, clothes and all.

The water cascaded down, taking the blood with it causing the stone base to run red. Fili was glad he was getting soaked as well, as the water dripping down his face hid the tears streaming from his eyes. What had happened?

"We need teh move her to the chaise. There is too much glass here." Thorin nodded at Oin. He lifted a nearly lifeless Tauriel into his arms and gently carried her to the sitting room, placing her on the long seat. A trail of red was soaking the wood and carpet in his wake. He did not know if someone could lose so much blood and survive.

Tauriel was growing paler by the minute. "I need teh remove the glass. As soon as I do, place yer hand over this rag jus' there Thorin, press hard and do not move until I say. Dwalin, I have some herbs to help get the blood teh stop hemorrhaging, I need yeh to mix them into a paste while I carefully get the glass. Bofur go get me a fresh bowl of warm water lad. Then I can close the wound."

Thorin nodded, showing he understood and set his hand at the ready while Bofur ran back to the bathing room and Dwalin grabbed the herbs Oin had pointed to, beginning to mash them together until they resembled a paste. Oin took a breath and looked up at Thorin. "I wan' teh warn yeh, if this completely severed her artery, or shattered in her leg, there is nothin' I can do, but I won' know until I remove this and pray it don' make it worse."

Thorin's heart beat wildly in his chest with the warning, and he gripped the cushion of the chair tightly. If he understood what Oin was relaying, and the shard had severed the artery, Tauriel will die here and now. He could only hope Mahal was once again watching over her. With a silent prayer to his maker, Thorin nodded in permission. "Do what you can Oin."

With expert skills, Oin placed his hands on the glass, and carefully pulled until the menacing shard came out cleanly, in one, long, piece. The bleeding instantly got worse and Thorin pushed the rag into the wound, using his strength to keep the pressure steady as he continuously prayed for the blood-flow to slow.

Bofur came back with two bowls of water and sat beside Tauriel's head. He began to use one and slowly wiped some of the blood away from her face and hands, as he watched the healer worriedly.

After a few tense moments, Oin eyed the eleth then removed the belt and had Thorin lift his hand. He inspected the wound once more, and huffed out a sigh. "The lass is either the luckiest being in arda, or, she's go' the maker guardin' her. It is slowin'. She will be alrigh'." Thorin sat back relieved and watched as Oin placed the paste Dwalin had prepared on her leg and let it set before re-cleaning the wound, which looked much less intimidating while not gushing blood.

Oin used a tool he had heated from the fire and cauterized the artery before closing the wound completely. He placed some more paste over the stitches and bandaged her leg. "It was no' completely severed, bu' she has lost a lot of blood Thorin. She needs rest." Thorin nodded.

A knock on the door had Viltarra and Tarrah coming in. "Is she?"

"She will be fine lass." Oin relayed, and Viltarra let a breath of relief rush from her lips as she took in the pale elf.

"Allow us to be of service then." Viltarra offered. "We can clean her up and get her into something much more comfortable." Thorin watched her, then gave his permission.

"Kili?" Thorin looked up at Tauriel who was beginning to stir, her brows furrowing and her breath quickening, but then she stilled once more. Her body was just too taxed to fully wake.

"Poor lass." Dwalin shook his head. "I will have someone come in an' get that bathin' room cleaned, and have these floors done as well. Mahal…tha' is a lot of blood."

Thorin gave his thanks and turned to Oin. "Will you come with me to check on Kili? There was so much blood, I want to make sure he is uninjured." Oin stood and waited while Thorin gave Viltarra and Tarrah one final 'thank you' and turned to where the shower was still going in the other bathing room.

A soaked Fili was just pulling an equally wet Kili from the flow of water. He pushed Kili down onto a bench and wrapped a towel around his brother's shivering shoulders.

Fili turned to Thorin as he opened the door and stepped inside. "Is she?"

Thorin gave Fili a nod. "She will be alright."

"Thank Mahal." Fili sighed as he ran his hands through his drenched locks and looked to Kili, who was peering down at the floor.

Thorin crouched down at his nephew's feet, gently placing a hand on his knee. "Kili? Oin is here. He needs to take a look at you son."

"I almost killed her." Came Kili's soft reply.

Thorin sighed. "Kili, Tauriel is, she is one of the strongest beings I know. She will be fine with rest. She is well cared for. Now, you just focus on being here and now, alright?"

Kili nodded and looked down at his hands. The one which held the shard had a long, shallow gash down his palm, in addition to several smaller cuts from when he initially shattered it. Oin came in and had it stitched in minutes while Bofur got some dry clothes for Kili to change into.

Fili helped Kili and sat him on the bed. Kili was still shivering almost violently, despite having some dry clothes on, and the room being quite warm.

Oin eyed the young prince and looked to Fili and Thorin. "Lad's in shock. Fili, get the blanket and wrap him in it, then let's lay him down and I want ya to stay with 'im." Fili nodded and did as Oin said, firmly wrapping the un-protesting Kili in the blanket and pushing him down into the bed.

"I almost killed her." Kili repeated, tears falling from his eyes as he spoke.

"Ki. Stop it." Fili admonished gently. "If Thorin said Tauri is fine, she is fine. It will do neither of you good to push yourself into a fit."

"I thought it was her." Kili's voice was so quiet, Fili had to lean in to hear. "The...the one at where we were taken…Elbereth. I swear it was her."

Fili looked down at Kili, he was staring at nothing and Thorin came over to the bed, sitting beside Fili and signaling for him to get changed out of his wet clothes. Thorin then turned to Kili. "Kili, she is gone. That elf will never harm you again."

"But she isn't though." Kili sighed and curled into himself. "She was not there at the end, when we escaped. She and several of the orcs must have gotten away. I know, because I looked among all the dead I passed, searching specifically for her."

Thorin looked to Fili who had just pulled a dry tunic over his head, then back at Kili. "Kili, I watched her die with my own eyes. She took two arrows to the chest. She is not coming back. Not for you. Not for anyone."

Kili pushed himself up onto his arms and gaped at Thorin. "What? Arrows? Who? How? You weren't even there!"

"If you can be calm, I will tell you." Thorin lifted a brow and Kili pushed himself to a seated position and sat back against the pillows, nodding and pulling the blanket up and around his shoulders.

"I would like to hear this as well. I never actually got the story of what happened after you left Mirkwood, uncle." Fili, now in dry clothes, sat on Kili's other side and the pair watched Thorin.

"When we searched for Tauriel after what happened in the healers halls in Mirkwood…" Thorin looked at Kili who clenched his jaw, but said nothing, so he continued. "…the guards said she ran into the forest. After finding a massive amount of dead spiders, it was Naurfaer who suggested he had an idea of where she went. To where they found you." Thorin looked to Kili. "By the time I found her, she had already unleashed both arrows into Elbereth who was in battle with Naurfaer. I talked her out of shooting a third."

"It was Tauriel who killed her?" Kili gaped.

Thorin nodded. "I do not think there is anything she would not do for you Kili. She also was the one who set the place ablaze. It is no more now but a graveyard and tomb."

There was a knock on the door and Fili moved to open it, smiling at Viltarra who stepped in beside Fili. "Tauriel is changed and cleaned. Do you have a place for her to rest?"

Thorin nodded. "Fili, can you help me? Viltarra if you would not mind remaining here with Kili until we get back."

"Not at all." Thorin clasped Kili's shoulder and stood to leave, Fili pecking Viltarra on the lips as he too disappeared out the door.

Viltarra took Thorin's place on the bed and gave Kili a small smile. In her hands she held a small bag. "I wanted to bring these up to you. They were...are...Tauriel's favorite while she was pregnant and you took quite a liking to them as well." She handed the bag to Kili who looked in to see four round buns with what looked like cheese on top. "They are cheese buns. Sweet and buttery."

"Thank you." Kili gave her a small smile. "Since you have been assigned guard duty, can you tell me about how you and my brother...?" He trailed off, assuming the dam would get his meaning.

Viltarra rolled her eyes. "It is not guard duty; you are not dangerous Kili. Nobody thinks that. So, stop." She then gestured to the bag in Kili's hand. "I will be happy to tell you anything you wish, but only if you eat something while I do."

Kili pulled a bun from the bag, looked it over, and took a bite. The flakey, buttery pastry bun was a perfect complement to the creamy, sweet, cheese that filled its center. He hummed his appreciation and Viltarra began the long tale of how she met Fili.

"Let's take her to her room." Thorin suggested, looking around Fili's chamber at all the blood on the floor and chaise. "I think it will be where she is most comfortable. I will speak to Dis. She will likely want to stay in Tauriel's room with her and Fin, at least for a time. It would be easier for Oin to be able to see to them both anyway. I'll take one of the other rooms in her chamber until she is well enough to get up and around. Dwalin, do you mind remaining here until one of us returns? Just to be safe." Dwalin grunted his approval and leaned against the wall.

Not saying a word, Fili gently scooped Tauriel up in his arms, then followed Thorin out the door.

"What do you mean Kili stabbed her." Dis's hushed whispers pierced the quiet room. Finli was napping peacefully on the bed beside her, so the two adults attempted to keep their tones low, not wanting to wake him.

"He thought it was the elf that tortured him, back to get him. He reacted without actually looking. I believe he just saw the distorted reflection in the broken glass, they do both have red hair. There is more Dis, but I will tell you another time." Thorin sighed.

Dis looked beyond mortified, but she pierced her lips and slid out of the bed. She slowly gathered a few things she would need while Thorin grabbed Finli gently from the mattress. "Dis, leave it. I will have it brought over. I don't want you carrying anything."

Dis huffed but followed Thorin out of her chambers and into Tauriel and Kili's. She watched as Thorin stepped into Finli's room and placed the little one in his bed and gently shut the door behind him. He then helped his sister carefully into the bed beside the sleeping eleth, where she remained.

Tauriel slept for the entire day, Dis right by her side. Thorin flitted between Dis, Tauriel, and Fili until he fell asleep on the chair beside Tauriel's bed well into the night.

Dis smiled at her sleeping brother and stood. She wanted to check on her son, so she kissed Thorin on the brow after placing a blanket over him, then slowly made her way out the door and into Fili's room.

When Dis entered, Fili was resting on a large chair near the unlit fireplace, Viltarra's head on his lap as he read through a parchment. She looked at the pair from where she stood at the entry and smiled at Viltarra fondly before stepping in fully. The young dam's feet were hanging off the chair's arm, but she was completely asleep.

Dis folded her arms and sent only a partially disapproving look at them. Fili sighed and looked up. "We are technically married mam, but don't worry, Ki has the door open."

Dis gave him a look and smiled. "I trust you. I am sure you need each other more than ever now. But, behave. I wanted to check on Kili."

"Didn't Oin say you needed to remain in bed?" Fili lifted a brow and smirked. Not a single one of his family, Tauriel included, was even remotely good at resting when told, especially when it was Oin who told them to do so.

Dis waived him away. "I think a small walk down the hallway to see my baby is warranted." She eyed the chaise with its large stain of blood and the trail that led into one of Fili's spare rooms. "I will have a new chaise brought in."

Fili nodded. "They are coming to clean-up tomorrow. Ki is in my room mam, I didn't want him to have to look at the mess in the other room. He was pretty bent up about what happened." Fili looked worriedly at the open door but went back to his parchment in his hand. Dis grabbed a blanket from the smaller chair and draped it over the sleeping Viltarra. Fili lifted his eyes in gratitude and Dis kissed his cheek before slowly making her way to Fili's room.

Kili looked up from where he sat on the bed, just staring into the dark corner of the room. The light from the sitting room was streaming in and illuminating his pale features. "Mam?"

"Hello darling. How are you fairing my love?" Dis came and sat beside Kili on the bed, pulling herself up so she can sit fully beside her baby. She draped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into her, Kili going without a fight and laying his head in her lap, his shoulders shaking as he silently let go.

"What have I done mam? I…I don't even know who I am. This isn't me. I…I cannot even tell you what happened. All I saw was red hair, and…and I was back in that room." Kili all but sobbed out.

Dis stroked his hair. "I know it is difficult my darling. For nine months, you fought to keep yourself from giving over, do not let them win now. If you do not know who you are, come to someone who does. Me, Thorin, Fili, even Tauriel."

Kili lifted his head to look incredulously at her. "Do not give me that look." She traced his cheek as he stared up at her. "Tauriel knows you better than anyone, sometimes, I feel as if she knows you better then even I. If there is anyone in this mountain who can tell you who Kili is in here…" she traced his temple, "and here…" she placed a hand over his heart. "…it is Tauriel."

Kili turned his head in her lap and looked towards the sitting room. "Who am I mam?"

Dis sighed. "You are my Kili. My precious baby. My miracle. You are my jokester. My rock. You can make me smile even when I want to throttle you. You can make me laugh when I feel as if I will be swallowed by despair. You are kind, but passionate. To those you give your friendship to, you never fail to be there for them. To those you give your love to, you protect them with a fierceness unmatched. You are a father, the best of them. I have never seen a child so close as your little one is to you Kili. It is truly a sight to behold." Kili tensed and Dis paused the fingers combing through his thick hair. "He was asking for you today."

Kili lifted himself from Dis's lap and sat back on the side of the bed, his feet planted firmly on the floor, and his head in his hands. "It has been nine months. How can he even know me?"

Dis chuckled. "Darling, I think he would know you if it had been twice that. Besides. I do not for a moment believe Tauriel would allow him to forget you."

"I don't even…I can't…what is his name?" Kili finally asked, half looking over his shoulder at his mam.

"Finli. It is a blend of Tauriel's father Findyyr and your father Vili. You came up with it." Kili nodded. "She was on her way to speak to you today. She wanted to see if you would be comfortable meeting him."

Even in the dark, Dis could see Kili's eyes growing wide as he whipped his head around to look at her fully. "Is that why she was here?"

Dis nodded and Kili drew back into himself. "Stop. Kili. Enough."

"Don't you see mam? I stabbed her. She was here to speak to me, and I did not hesitate to slam a shard of glass into her. Do you think she will trust me with her child now? She will regret not taking her elven king's advice and staying in Mirkwood." Kili looked back down at the floor. "That is the safest place for her. For them both."

The smack came before Kili had time to brace. He lifted his hand and rubbed the sore spot at the back of his head. "Now you listen here! One, Thranduil is not Tauriel's king. She is adamant about that. She is not Tauriel of Mirkwood, she is Princess Tauriel of Erebor, a fully coronated and backed title. Two, her son, your son, is as of now an heir of Erebor. Do you really think Thorin, Tauriel, Fili, or I will allow the possible future ruler of our people to live anywhere but here? Among his people and his family? Three, you and Fili are my sons, as Tauriel is my daughter. Thorin too sees her as a daughter. Her place is here with her family." She looked at Kili, silently debating on a thought that ran through her head.

"Come." Dis slid herself off the bed and took Kili's uninjured hand in hers, giving it a tug to indicate she wanted him to follow.

"Mam?" Kili was eyeing her questioningly, refusing to move.

But Dis only gave him a reassuring smile. "Please do not make me pull you, I am in trouble enough for being up and around once Oin finds out. So, please, come." Kili nodded and finally allowed Dis to guide him from the room.

"And where are you two going?" Fili once again looked up from his parchment, watching them warily.

Dis smirked and made for the door, stopping in her tracks. "I am allowing whatever this is. Do not make me regret it. I have grown rather fond of Viltarra. BUT Khuzdul ceremony before children making activities. Whatever else is permitted." She opened the door but paused once more. "Fili, take her to bed. She will get cramped in that position."

Fili gaped at Dis, but nodded wordlessly, his eyes following her in almost unbelief as she left the room. Dis chuckled and Kili eyed her. "Where are we going mam?"

"Hush, just come with me and keep your voice down." Kili sighed and let her take him wherever she felt necessary. They stopped at a large wooden door which was bigger than the rest in the hall and Kili eyed it with wonder. "This is the largest of the chambers in the royal wing, actually, I think it is the largest chamber in Erebor." Dis whispered. "It was your great grandfather Thror's chambers at one time."

"Is it uncles?" Kili asked, eyeing the door in wonder.

Dis, however, shook her head. "No. There is a rather unique feature in here he thought another would appreciate more. This is the only room in the mountain with a terrace attached. It overlooks the path that leads to Dale. You can see the city beyond and the forests. Thorin thought our resident elf would feel less closed in with a place to go where she can see the stars and the trees from the safety of the mountain itself. You know how protective your uncle can be."

"I have an idea." Kili sighed. "Although I am afraid I have nothing to connect it to. Everything is, fuzzy and disconnected. I remember names, but why I cannot say. I also do not know why there are so many I have no memory of whatsoever." He stared at the door. "This, then, is Tauriel's?"

"It is the both of yours." Dis said and opened the door before Kili could say anything to the contrary.

The sitting room was dark, having no fire currently lit, though the curtains on one of the large window's was drawn back allowing the moon to shine in and give some light. Dis watched as Kili stood frozen for a time, then began looking around, using the little light from the moon to guide him. He stopped at the mantle over the fireplace and picked up some of the trinkets that lined the top, including a few framed sketches depicting himself, Tauriel, and the rest of the family. It was too dark to make out features, so he set them down and walked closer to the lighter part of the room.

Kili smiled as he saw a rack of bows, tracing his own with his fingers but before he could grab it, something fluttered in from the open bedroom and landed on the floor beside Dis. Dis looked down unconcerned and smiled at the large raven who hopped around her feet in the moonlight. "Hello Kaw."

Kili smiled at the silly bird, after all, how could one not? He knelt down and lifted his hand but Kaw froze. Instead of going towards Kili like Dis had expected him to, he ran behind Dis hiding from the dwarven prince. "Odd, he never does that for you." Dis exclaimed quietly.

Kili frowned. "I think I know why. Remember the day of the rescue? I am afraid I may have scared him." Kili got onto his knees, and spoke quietly. "I am sorry Kaw. I am not myself. If you give me a chance, I think maybe we can be friends?"

Kaw peaked a head out from around Dis and slowly walked over to Kili. He hesitated when he was inches from Kili's hand, but only for a moment as he leaned his head into Kili for a scratch. "He is quieter than I thought. Usually, ravens are quite vocal if I recall."

"You and Tauriel trained him to be quiet in the evenings. Do not be fooled, he is just as loud as any and speaks not just raven-speech, but many words in common, Khuzdul, and Sindarin. The only raven I know capable of doing so. He, like Tauriel, is quite an enigma." Dis chuckled. "Come on. You can make friends with your raven later."

Kili nodded and stood, the raven ruffling his feathers before flying back into the open room he had come from. Unable to bend his curiosity, Kili looked through the wide-open double doors to see a large room with a four poster bed. He could just make out a shape within its blankets and another familiar figure sleeping in a chair beside the bed, his feet up on the mattress as he leaned back quiet and still.

Dis tugged on Kili's arm, dragging his attention from the room and pulling him to another. She then opened the door to the one just beside it and placed a finger to her lips as she stepped inside. She lit a small lantern, keeping the flame low, and grabbed Kili's hand, pulling him inside the door and towards a large cradle that stood beside the far wall.

Kili held his breath. Was his mam really doing what he thought she was? Dis looked into the cradle, smiled, then looked up at Kili. She pulled him the last few feet and Kili got the first look of his son. He had to slam his hand over his mouth to silence the sob as he took in the babe. Kili knew he was nearing two, but, he was so small he could be nothing else but a baby. Dis wrapped her arms around Kili's waist and looked at Finli. "Does he not look just like you?"

It was true, there was no mistaking it. The thick dark hair and eyebrows, the shape of his face. His lips. All Kili. "He has your eyes too." Dis said as she let him go and pulled away.

"Finli?" Kili asked, just to be sure.

Dis nodded. "Or Fin."

Kili gulped and looked back down but his eyes did not meet a sleeping babe, and he gasped as Finli lifted his head and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Dis remained silent as Kili stepped forward, unable to do anything else.

"Da?"

This time the sob erupted vocally and Kili nodded, the tears in his eyes already falling down the sides of his face. Finli pushed himself up and leaned against the railing, his small arms raising high waiting for Kili to pick him up.

Dis stepped a few feet away, batting away her own tears at the scene playing out before her. When Kili's panicked eyes met hers, she nodded and signaled to Finli, who was beginning to bounce, showing his patience was waning.

Kili turned back and leaned forward, scooping up his son into his arms. Finli stared at Kili, lifting his hands and touching Kili's face. The babe looked at Dis, his excitement clear in his voice despite just waking. "Nan…Da!"

Dis chuckled. "I see."

Finli turned back to Kili and touched Kili's wet cheek, looking at the tear that transferred onto his small hand. "Sad." His word was spoken quietly.

Finli frowned and lifted his eyes to his father's identical ones. Kili shook his head, but he could not describe how he felt so he remained silently watching the being in his arms. Finli lay his head against Kili's shoulder and Kili held him close.

Right then, in that moment, Kili felt it. That instinct he was missing when others spoke of Finli. That connection. He felt it now. As he held this tiny being in his grip, all he wanted to do was to protect him, to keep him safe from any harm that would befall him. It was an overwhelming need burning within him, that he did not know he could feel. Is this what it felt like to be a father?

Kili stayed until Finli fell asleep, clutching his shirt. Kili could not wait to see him in the day, to see the color of his eyes and hair. To see his energy. He placed his son back in the cradle and pulled the blanket over him. He then turned and followed Dis from the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

"Thank you mam." Dis smiled but said nothing. She took Kili's hand and guided him to another room just across the hall from Finli's, opening the door and lighting a lantern. This room was about the same size as Finli's but with a large bed at its center. Dis turned down the covers and patted the mattress.

Kili stood still, unsure, but Dis tutted. "These are your rooms. If you are uncomfortable, I can take you back to your brothers." Dis pushed a bit of hair out of his eyes. "My darling, I think deep down, though you may not understand it yet, you really want to be here, with your family."

Kili sighed but climbed into the bed. Dis kissed his brow and gave him a small smile. "Everything will be fine Kili. Trust in yourself and let us be your safe harbor. You know we would never lead you astray, we love you…I, love you my darling."

Smiling back, Kili nodded. "I love you too, mam. Thank you, for everything."

Dis nodded. "There is a washroom just one door down from yours dear, if you need it. I will be in with Tauriel just down the hall through the double doors. This is your home, so feel free to do as you please. Who knows, maybe being here will help." She stood from the bed and left the room, turning the lantern down on her way out. The prince, lost in thought, eventually succumbed to unconsciousness, his body losing the battle to fight off sleep and the nightmares he knew would come.

However, to his surprise, Kili slept soundly, but it did not feel like it was long before his body had him waking up. He groaned when he felt himself coming to consciousness once more, lifting his hand to run through his hair. He closed his eyes and turned to his side, readjusting himself to settle back into the soft, warm, mattress. One eye popped open, then the other, and he was staring into a pair of eyes looking right up at him from the ground. "Well, hello. How did you get out?"

"Da!" Finli pulled his thumb from his mouth and tugged on the blanket, trying to pull himself up. Seeing his son struggling, Kili helped him, lifting him onto the bed beside him before rolling onto his back. But Finli had other ideas, as he climbed up on Kili's chest, pushing himself under the blanket, and settled, face down just over where his father's heart beat.

Kili froze at first but lifted his large hand to place securely on Finli's back. It did not take long before the warmth of Finli, mixed with the dark, quiet, room, had Kili falling back into a restful, peaceful sleep.

Tauriel shifted as her mind grappled between sleep and the waking world. Even as she woke, her body felt drained and she forced herself to open her eyes, groaning when they met the bright, summer, morning light.

"Do not fight it if you are not ready to wake dear." Tauriel heard Dis proclaim from just beside her. "It will only make it worse. Let yourself rest."

However, Tauriel pushed herself up into sitting position, hissing when a sharp pain radiated through her thigh and down her leg.

"Slow and steady now." Tauriel nodded and looked to Thorin who was now standing beside the bed.

"What happened?" Tauriel lifted the blanket to see a wrap secured around her leg, there were patches of blood seeping through, and she lifted her eyes to Thorin and Dis.

Dis looked from Thorin to Tauriel. "There was an…incident yesterday. What do you remember?"

Yesterday? Tauriel thought back. She remembered waking up beside Dis who was holding Finli then it slowly came to her. "I was going to get Kili's some things and speak to him about Finli. I…I heard a crash and ran into the bathing room. I fear I do not remember anything beyond that." She froze and whipped her head to Thorin in concern. "Is Kili alright? Is he harmed?"

Thorin shook his head. "He has a few cuts, but, he will be alright physically. I am afraid mentally will take longer."

Tauriel nodded. "He has been through much. More than anyone I know truthfully. I fear he may never fully return to me." She moved then cringed at the pain that shot through her leg. "And this?" Tauriel looked at her thigh that was both burning and throbbing simultaneously.

There was silence in the room before Thorin began to speak. "Tauriel, you know Kili is not well, so please, take that into account when we tell you."

Tauriel's brows furrowed. "I would never hold anything against him, especially not now. What happened Thorin, you are scaring me?"

The protective side of Thorin wanted to put her in a room and keep her there, unaware of the horrors of what nearly happened yesterday. There is a type of comfort with blissful ignorance, but there is greater joy and healing with honesty. "From what I understand, Kili had shattered the mirror in his bathing room. You must have heard the sound, because you went in and…he took a shard of glass and plunged it into your leg nearly severing your main artery. When I found you, you were seconds from bleeding out. Oin came in time to save your life."

Dis had taken her hand as Tauriel began to lose her ability to catch her breath. Kili? Her Kili tried to kill her? "Tauriel dear, you need to calm yourself. You are taxing your already weak body." Tauriel tried to listen, but nothing seemed to calm the eleth.

The dam was beginning to panic as Tauriel was taking great gasps of air which did not seem to be calming her. She looked to Thorin. "Go get Oin." Thorin nodded and ran from the room as Dis rubbed Tauriel's back soothingly.

"Breath amralime. In and out. Slowly. Come on. Stay with me."

The voice was clear in her mind, and she let it play on repeat as she recalled the memory of Kili's breathing patterns and tried to match hers to his. "There it is dear. Come on, you can do it. Slow and steady."

What she needed was Kili. She needed him near. She needed his strength, his warmth, and his solidness beside her. Tauriel refused to access the part of her mind where Kili resided. Not while he was not truly hers right now. It would be an invasion to him, despite him not being aware, she would be. Besides, it would only cause further pain, so she forced herself to stay in the present even as her mind darkened and grew cold. Trust Naurfaer. She must trust that whatever he is doing, may bring Kili back. But, she must also accept the reality that the plan was a longshot, and Kili may be lost to her, forever.

Her breathing now calmed, Tauriel looked at Dis. "Do you know why he…why he would have…"

Dis frowned, but shook her head. "I spoke with him dear. He has been…he is horrified with himself. He said he looked down in the reflection and was back in that room. That you were, that creature that harmed him."

Tauriel looked over at the window. "Dis, I know of who you speak. She will never harm Kili or anyone ever again. I made sure of it."

Trying to decide what to say, Tauriel huffed. "I never had a family. Never knew what became of my distant relatives. I only knew my parents had been killed in an orc raid. Nobody could give me my lineage. The line I was from. Nobody even knew the clan of elves I belonged to." She looked at Dis. "I used to sit high in the trees on the worst of my youth days, and imagine a grandparent or any distant relative finding me. But, none came. 600 years later I find I have family living. Two for sure."

Dis gave her a look of confusion. She knew of Naurfaer, but there was another? "Two?"

Tauriel nodded. "Elbereth, the one who did those unspeakable things to my Kili. She was Naurfaer's wife, and my grandmother." Dis gasped. The red hair spilling out from that monster's hood. Dis never really got a look at her, but she remembered the red hair because it made her think of Tauriel.

"It was my blood who did this." Tauriel sobbed out. "I do not fault Kili in his instincts to defend and protect himself. I could never do that. I love him Dis. So much."

"I know my darling, but, that creature, is not you. Regardless of blood." Dis was about to say more, but the door opened, stopping her from continuing.

Thorin and Oin walked into the room, Oin lifting his arms high in mock gratitude. "Ah, they are both sittin' still. A miracle from Mahal." Dis snickered and Tauriel rolled her eyes at the old healer. "Now. I see yeh got yerself under control. Thorin said yeh were havin' a difficult time, though yeh seem alrigh' now. I did bring some calmin' herbs for tea lassie, jus' in case. I suggest yeh drink them even if yeh are feeling better. I would also like teh look at tha' leg while I am here." Tauriel nodded, watching the healer pull some herbs and prepare a clean binding.

Thorin cleared his throat from the door. "I have several meetings this morning and I want to send a raven to Dale. Send for me if you need me, but I have Fili remaining up here for the day. He will be checking in periodically. At the moment, he is making something for breakfast which should be ready withing the hour."

"Is Finli still asleep?" Tauriel asked.

There was a hesitant knock on the open door frame, and the group turned to see Kili standing at the entrance to the room. He held Finli in his arms, the babe looking around with his thumb plunged between his lips.

Tauriel stared at Kili. Is he back? "Kili?"

But the dwarf in question seemed to want to look anywhere but her, ignoring her voice as he shifted from foot to foot. "I thought you would like to know Finli was with me this morning. I was going to the kitchen to get him something to eat."

"Good on you lad." Oin cheered.

"I will join you, Fili is already in there." Thorin stated.

Tauriel watched, her heart cracking as Kili not once looked her way, though he did stop at the door before completely leaving the room. "You're okay, with me taking him…Tauriel?"

Kili's back was to her, so he never saw the look of devastation cross her features. Tauriel forced her voice to be steady as she answered. "Of course Kili. He is your son." She saw Kili nod his head and leave. "WAIT!"

Kili froze, waiting for Tauriel to speak. "He hates anything dankhâ (green). Doesn't matter if it's a sweet or a veg. If it is dankhâ, he won't allow it, even the word causes him to go into a fit…so try to refrain from using it when food is involved unless you want to spend the next hour soothing a tantrum. Mashed apples are his favorite though. I do not think he realizes its nutritional benefit, or I fear he would refuse them as well." She saw Kili nod his head again, still turned away, as he left the chambers.

"He could not even look at me." Tauriel whispered.

"Give him time lass." Oin patted her arm fondly.

Tauriel let out a breath. It was time to grow up and realize this may be permanent. "Of course. It is fine. I am grateful he and Finli can have a relationship. Fin loves Kili so deeply. Maybe, with him here, he can finally be my smiling, laughing, baby again."

Dis pierced her lips and sat quietly as Oin examined Tauriel, re-wrapped her leg, then made the eleth swear that she will remain still for at least another two days so her body can heal enough to not go into shock when she begins normal activities. He also checked on Dis, who was well on her way to recovery but would need another week of bedrest herself. Oin was met with equal looks of displeasure and frustration but he was well versed in batting them away and sternly ordering them to remain in bed, or he will sedate them both.

Kili spent most of his day with Thorin and Finli. His wounds were now more mental than physical, so he was not required to sit in one place, though Oin did tell him to take it easy. The healer thought, however, that being around the mountain may trigger some good memories, so Kili was allowed to come and go as he pleased.

The young prince was met by many familiar faces, Bombur in the kitchens even promising to make his favorite meal from Ered Luin for him. Kili just nodded since he had no idea what that was and said he looked forward to it. He had to brace himself when a blonde barreled into him and Thorin sighed beside him.

"KILI! I had heard you returned, and I was just coming up to see Tauri and check on you! She has been in a state this last year. I have never seen her so solemn and sad. I am so glad you are home. Is she not with you? I assumed you two would be inseparable for at least…10 years to make up for lost time." She giggled and bumped his shoulder.

Shuffling nervously, Kili eyed Thorin then smiled at the dam. "Hello Leotti." It was all he could come up with. Of course, he remembered the dam fondly. She had grown up with him in Ered Luin, so he knew her, and apparently, she knew Tauriel. Naturally, he sighed.

Seeing his nephew begin to grow agitated, Thorin took over. "Leotti, I am quite sure Tauriel and Dis would love nothing more than a visit from you. You will find both in Tauriel's bedchamber, and Viltarra was with Fili. She was just talking about coming to see you, if you go up now, you can head her off. Maybe stop by the kitchen and see if Bombur can put together some treats before you go up."

Confused, Leotti looked to Kili then to Thorin and nodded. "Alright. Of course. I was headed up there anyway. I will see you later Kili, right?" Kili nodded and they watched Leotti walk away, though she glanced back once or twice on her way to the kitchens.

Letting out a sigh, Kili could not stop the smile spreading across his face when Finli tugged on his hand. "Da. Up." Kili lifted a brow. "What, no 'please'? I will need to speak to your mother about your lack of manners."

Finli ignored him, however, and lifted his arms, his little hands opening and closing as he waited. "Well. What do you say?"

"Up."

Kili chuckled and picked him up as the pair followed his uncle down the hall and past the market door. Thorin ignored the market altogether, thinking it might be too much for Kili to handle right now, and instead lead him into the wing attached to the large forge by another connection then the market. This is where Kili's workspace he had given him was.

With a small smile, Thorin opened the door and gestured Kili inside. Kili looked around and walked towards the workbench where he saw several pieces of parchment with various sketches, some complete, others in early stages of design, scattered across the drafting table. He picked up one off the top, it looked like a circlet that was simple, but elegant. It was all done with metal work, with only a few housings for gems. The design was floral in nature, but only subtly so. One had to get close to see the intricate designs.

"You made that for Viltarra." Thorin muttered. "For her and Fili's wedding."

Kili lifted his eyes from the design to his uncle. "Wedding? Viltarra and Fili are married?"

Thorin hummed. "Yes, and no. They had a handfasting." When Kili gave him a look he folded his arms and leaned back against the worktable. "It's an elvish tradition." He grumbled. "Let an elf into the family, and everything changes." The remark had no bite, instead almost a fond acceptance. "Viltarra was nervous about the wedding, so it was decided to do a small, family, handfasting the day before the ceremony. So, according to elvish law, they are in fact, a married pair. According to your mother's laws, not so much." Thorin chuckled, then he looked solemnly at Kili. "That was the day you were taken from us. So they had not yet had their Khuzdul ceremony."

Kili tensed. They should have been married. They should be allowed to be married. "I take it they are back on track for their ceremony then? I am sure Fili wants to wed sooner rather than later."

Thorin silently watched Kili who had just sat Finli down on the workbench. The toddler instantly went for the small detailing hammer, which was just within reach of his small, pudgy, arms. It would not hurt him, so Kili allowed it, but watched him carefully.

"Kili." Kili looked up at Thorin who had crossed the room. "Your mother, you, and Viltarra are all still healing. Tauriel is in no condition for a ceremony either. I sincerely doubt Fili or Viltarra will be ready to wed until everyone is well." Kili nodded and looked back at Fin who had the hammer in his mouth.

"That is not what this is for." He tried to take the hammer but Finli snatched it away from Kili with a stern, "No."

The look he gave was all Durin death-glare and looked both unsettling and rather comical on an 18-month old's face.

"Finli..." Thorin growled. The toddler looked at his grandfather, his brown eyes wide as he handed the hammer back to Kili and stuck his thumb back into his mouth.

"Does he smile?" Kili asked, eyeing the somewhat somber child. "It is odd, isn't it? For someone his age? Maybe I just have not been around him much, but all day, he has not smiled or even laughed once."

Thorin shrugged, looking at Fin. "Occasionally. Not as much as he used to, and certainly not as much as he should."

Kili looked at Fin who was now grabbing at papers on the desk, having lost their attention again. Shuffling a few aside, Kili came across a pile of more personal sketches. They were numerous and all depicted the same figure. "Is everything I do revolve around Tauriel?"

Thorin looked at the sketch in Kili's hand. Tauriel smiling at an infant who was obviously Finli. Another was of Tauriel sleeping in the grass, her hand on an enlarged abdomen. A third of Tauriel reading. "Mama." Thorin smiled at Finli who was grabbing for the parchment. "Mama."

Kili sighed and threw the stack to the table. 'Mama'. Of course. Tauriel again. He needed time to think but she was everywhere. With his family. In his workspace. In the child they shared. Even when he visited Bofur, Bifur, and Bombur it was half about Tauriel.

Thorin sighed. Clearly, visiting his workspace was not helping as much as he hoped. "Come on Kili. Let's go. The dinner bell rang, it's time to eat."

"Do we need to go up to the wing, or can we eat in the hall?" Kili asked somberly.

Thorin looked at Kili. "You can eat wherever you are most comfortable."

Kili thought about it, then shuffled his feet. "I think I would like to eat in the hall, if that is alright?"

Thorin nodded. "Of course. I will take Finli back up so he can see Tauriel. Come up when you are ready."

Over the next several days, it became a pattern. Kili always came back to his and Tauriel's chambers, opting to use the spare room within most night, though he did occasionally fall asleep inside Fili's chambers if he stayed late.

Finli was ever present, but it never bothered Kili. The toddler was easy to love, especially when he would somehow escape his room and find his way into Kili's bed, which was frequent.

Tauriel was given the okay to leave her chambers after three days bedrest which surprised Kili with such a severe injury. But Fili mentioned something about her having some, elven ability to heal faster. She was still quite injured, he reminded Kili, but she was now allowed to get around on her own.

Kili really did not see her much though. He wasn't avoiding her or anything. Well, he would not admit he was. Truthfully, she made him uncomfortable. Whenever he saw her, his heart accelerated and his mind raced.

At first, he thought it was because of her resemblance to Elbereth, but that was not it. She looked like Elbereth, but she didn't. Tauriel had to have been the shortest elf he had ever seen, though still taller than him by a few inches. Her features were also softer then Elbereth's, her eyes greener, her hair, more like autumn leaves. No, she was not Elbereth in any way and he hated that he had mistaken the two so obviously different beings.

What confused him, however, was the somber severity Tauriel emanated whenever he did encounter her. How had he ended up with such a solemn elf? He always thought he would be partnered with someone more like him. Passionate, but with a joyful flare of life. Someone who laughed with him and equaled him out.

Instead, he finds himself attached to a being who seems completely opposite of who he would even consider. Beautiful, Mahal yes, but not in the way he had expected. Is that why their son never smiled? Because his mother never did? Still, something deep inside him yearned for her.

Despite all his misgivings, for some reason he found himself hoping to see those red-locks winding through the crowds in the mountain, trailing behind her as she went up the steps to Oin's office, or disappearing through a doorframe. He wanted to reach out and touch it, but like the real flames they emanated, he was afraid they would burn him, so he would turn and all but run the other way.

A week had gone by, and everyone was settling. Tauriel's wound was mostly all healed, though Oin forbade her from overly strenuous activities for another few days. Dis was now once again allowed to do as she pleased, which was all well and good as Oin was tired of getting yelled at from the volatile dam who was finished with being told to sit. Even Viltarra was finding a regular pattern of everyday life, though her family had yet to re-open the bakery in the markets, and she never really left the royal wing unless it was with the family.

One particular night was more difficult than others. Kili sat at the long tables beside Bofur in the dining halls. Fili was beside Viltarra, both laughing at Vin across from them. Dis and Thorin were deep in conversation with Balin and Finli was shoveling mashed potatoes, some getting into his mouth, others making it onto Kili's lap where he sat. Kili hardly noticed though, his eyes kept landing on Tauriel who was speaking quietly to Tarrah beside her.

"She is so…serious." Kili mumbled.

"What was tha' now lad?"

Kili startled but looked to Bofur beside him. "It's nothing really. I was just, I mean, Tauriel. She is so….somber and severe. I am having trouble picturing her fitting in here among dwarves. I wonder how, or if, she is even happy in Erebor."

Bofur scratched his head in confusion, eyeing the eleth down the table. By now, they all knew of Kili's lack of memories. It had come as a shock to many at first, but only those whom he had gotten to know after coming to Erebor. Oin figures that is where the memory line was drawn. Kili remembered nearly everyone from Ered Luin, but nobody from Erebor, and of course, not Tauriel.

"What do ye mean lad? Yeh talkin' about Tauri? The elf lass? Her? Severe?" Then Bofur began to laugh, loudly. "Oi! Bifur, Kili here said Tauri is somber an' severe. Hand me tha' fiddle there lad, and pass over my clarinet as well."

Kili glared at Bofur and Bifur, not happy with them mocking him or his thoughts. Bofur looked at the prince completely unphased. "Severe, eh? Watch this."

Sighing, Kili readjusted Finli and pulled him back when Bofur and Bifur got up onto the table. He walked along the top, dwarves pulling their food back as he passed and leaned down to Fili, whispering something and passing him the fiddle. Fili smiled broadly and jumped up on the table himself.

Dis tutted and Thorin leaned back, arms folded, and eyes narrowed as the music began. At first it was just Bofur and Fili playing a duet, but Bofur passed Bifur his clarinet, the dwarf quickly taking over as Bofur leaned down to Kili once more. "Now, watch and learn yeh can no judge a book…or an elf fer tha' matter…by her cover."

Bofur stood once more and yelled across the table. "Oi! Tauri! Catch!" He grabbed a plate and threw it at the elf, who caught it in midair and rolled her eyes, then Bofur threw another, and another…each one to the sound of music. Tauriel caught each one sitting at first, then she had to stand, then she was on her chair, and finally, she leapt onto the table to grab the last.

Others began to add into the fun, tossing their bowls, plates, and cups while cheering her on, the stacks in Tauriel's hands piling up as she began to swing herself to the music, unable to resist its call.

Eventually, the stacks got so high, she had to place them on the table, though she continued to sway to the song Fili and Bifur were playing, the dwarves all around her banging their cups on the table and clapping to the beat of the fiddle and her feet.

Kili watched transfixed. Gone was the elf who quietly floated through the halls. This, being, glowed as she spun in circles on the table. Her hair was like fire, and it danced around her. What stopped his heart, was the smile that spread across her face as Fili threw Thorin the fiddle…who surprisingly took over…as Fili lead Tauriel into a spin, her laughter tinkling through the hall. Something inside Kili growled. Nobody was allowed to touch her. Nobody. She…was his!

The young prince froze. Where did that come from. Tauriel was an elf. She was not his. Well, according to their laws she was, but Kili was in no way ready to even acknowledge that. He looked back up at Tauriel who was still laughing, the sound resonating deep within him. It thrilled him, it impassioned him, and it terrified him. He needed to get out of here. Jumping to his feet, Kili passed Finli to Dis who gave Kili a worried look. "Are you alright darling?"

Kili nodded, then quickly changed his mind and shook his head no. "I just…I do not feel well mam. Do you mind taking Finli? I am going to go lie down."

"Of course, darling." Dis accepted Finli, who was already leaning forward to grasp at the food still on her plate.

Thorin was still up on the table and Tauriel bowed low to Fili who gave her a curtsy. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Kili spring from the room and the smile fell from her lips. She looked over at Dis who gave her a sad smile, Finli in her lap who was munching on a piece of bread. Her little eater.

Ignoring the calls of those around her to keep going, Tauriel stepped around the massive pile of dishes she had caught and stepped down from the table. Her thigh was pulsing and burning, this may have been a bit much for her. But it felt so, wonderful, to let go. Even if it was for only a moment.

Tauriel stepped over to Dis. "I think it is time for a bath and some sleep my little star."

"Bath?" Finli asked as he mashed some pudding into his mouth.

"Yes, bath." Finli lifted his arms and went to Tauriel who left the room, the music, and the laughter behind.

Kili was not in their chambers when she got back. She was not surprised. Though on some nights he came in, it was always and only when he was guaranteed not to run into her. He never outright said it, but oh, Tauriel noticed. She noticed how he would turn and go the other way if she was walking down the halls. She noticed he would leave before she woke and come in after she went to sleep. She noticed how when he was FORCED to encounter her, he never looked at her directly.

Tauriel looked into the mirror, keeping one eye on her son splashing quietly in the water. She looked up at her reflection and wondered if it was Elbereth he saw whenever she was around. Is this going to be their life now? Kili always running from her? Tauriel does not know how long she would be able to stand it. "Mama!" Tauriel forced a smile on her face as she turned her attention back to her baby boy.

An hour later, she was ringing her own hair out after a shower. Finli was blissfully asleep, Kaw tucked up beside him in his cradle. Tauriel was surprised when she heard the chamber door open and shut, and her senses filled with Kili. She always knew when he was near, her mind buzzed with desire to reach out to him, her ears called for the sound of his voice, and she often felt herself gravitating towards wherever he settled.

Not now, however. There was still all those things, but they were forced away. Peeking out her door, Tauriel saw Kili look in on Finli before entering the room he was staying in. Wanting to speak to someone, Tauriel decided she would go see if Fili and Viltarra where back.

Finli would be fine with Kili there and she would not be long, so she quietly left the room and swept down the hall.

"I am finding it difficult to believe that Dis has allowed all this." Viltarra sighed as she sat in her nightclothes, Fili's arms wrapped around her in bed. It had been nothing short of a blessing as Viltarra was not ready to be alone in any fashion. She spent nine months in a hole. It was Dis's constant companionship that kept her sane and strong. However, Viltarra was not without her own sufferings and it has taken a lot of support and adjusting to re-enter normal, everyday life once more.

More than anything, Viltarra feared being by herself. Fili had caught on to this when he had left her alone one day to help with Kili. He had returned to Viltarra in the throes of a nightmare, and it took him nearly a half hour to fully wake her. He sported a very nice bruise on his chest for several days from when she tried hitting him away.

Once finally woken, however, she had cried for an hour into his shirt. Viltarra rarely cried. She needed it though. She had broken down and told Fili that it was when she was alone, the monsters of what happened would surround her and the nightmares would begin. Fili vowed to always make sure somebody, whether it be him, Tauriel, Dis, Leotti, or her parents, would always be by her side until she was ready.

"Well. We are married." Fili chuckled, pulling her close.

Viltarra hummed and sighed. "Fili. About that. I, well. Dis has asked, and my mother was asking as well. They were wanting to know when you wanted to have the Khuzdul ceremony. I told them I would speak to you and let them know."

Fili quietly thought. He wanted to marry Viltarra fully, as soon as possible. But there was still so much healing needed to be done, between his mam, Viltarra, and Kili. His beloved brother. He cannot have the ceremony with Kili the way he is. It not only would be a slap in the face to his just as beloved sister, but it would feel like it was missing something. Was that what it was about though?

"Do you want to have it soon, or wait?" Fili finally asked.

Viltarra stiffened. "I want to marry you Fili. Fully. But…"

"Not yet." Fili finished. Viltarra nodded and turned to face Fili, her hand lifting to play with a braid in his hair. "Viltarra, you have all of me. We can wait as long as you need. Maybe, maybe we can do it when Naurfaer gets back. I know you are close to him."

"What if he does not come back?" Viltarra's voice came out quiet and filled with a profound sadness.

Fili let out a deep breath and pulled her close. Tauriel had filled Fili in that Naurfaer was out trying, on a hairline chance, to help Kili. She said herself there was a firm possibility that Naurfaer would never return. He certainly hoped not, because the mountain was just not the same without him.

There was a shift in the bed and Fili looked down at the end where Hiril scratched her ear before laying back down. "Spoiled runt." Fili murmured then smiled at Viltarra. "He'll be back, and if not. We can take it a day at a time. When we are ready, we will tell ma, uncle, and your parents, and put together the ceremony."

"You want to wait for Kili too, don't you?" Viltarra looked up at Fili, her hand tracing his jaw.

Fili nodded. "It would break Tauriel, I think, having it. She would never, ever, admit it. She would in fact adamantly insist we have it. But I don't want to have to do that to her. That, and, I really want it to be MY brother beside me. The one who fought with me, the one who died with me. The one who helped me gain the courage to speak to you. The one who laughs and jokes, who loves Tauriel and Finli so passionately. Not this shell who avoids Tauriel like she is a dragon ready to attack."

Tauriel knocked on the door but not hearing an answer, she stepped inside Fili's chambers. "Fili?"

The eleth looked around the dark room and realized they must either still be out, or asleep. She was about to leave when she heard her name drifting in from one of the closed doors, and froze in place, her ears homing in on the conversation on their own accord.

"Tauriel a dragon? Hardly. Do you know though, why Kili is avoiding her?" Viltarra's voice filled the quiet sitting room, drifting from the cracked bedchamber door.

"I think I do." Fili answered somberly.

Tauriel knew she should not be listening in, but she wanted to hear this, desperately.

"My brother said when he looked into the mirror, it was her hair that caught his eyes, and he immediately thought of that elf. My assumption is, Tauriel's hair is like a trigger for Kili, which is why he cannot even look at her. She has so much of it, it pretty much surrounds her. He sees it, and he sees the reason for his pain and suffering."

"Poor Tauriel. I cannot imagine…I mean…if you…" Viltarra trailed off.

Fili sighed. "Viltarra, I am right here, and here for you. You made it out, and we are together. I hope, with time, Kili will be able to see past Tauriel's hair, but, until then, I think the best way he knows how to cope, is by keeping his distance from her."

Tauriel stood shocked. So, it was her hair. She mindlessly ran her hands through its length. She loved her hair. It was, unique, among those in Mirkwood. The color was not quite like any other, which in many ways, marked her as an outsider much like the length of her ears. There were other red heads, but, her particular shade was what set her apart. Kili used to love it too. He would wrap his hands in it, and run his fingers through its length, and she would purr when he massaged her scalp with soaps in the bath.

With her mind buzzing, Tauriel left the room. She stood, frozen in the hall, an idea coming to her that cracked her heart even further. In desperation, Tauriel ran back to her chambers. She thinks she has everything she would need, and maybe…just maybe this would work. She would give anything for him, give up anything, why not this?

Tauriel ran into her chambers, making sure to be quiet, and used the light of the moon streaming in to see her way to Kili's art cabinet and pulled the doors open. She sifted through the contents, moving aside quills, parchments, and charcoals to find the glass bottles in the back. Grasping the one she wanted, Tauriel stood with a new resolve and made for her and Kili's personal bathing-room, grabbing one of her daggers on the way in.

Then, Tauriel filled a bucket set aside with some water and poured the entire contents of the black ink inside, using her dagger to give it a stir. She let it set for a moment and looked into the mirror. If Kili could not stand looking at her red hair, she would change it. But before she dyed it, she would chop it.

Tauriel stared at her reflection, then undid her braids keeping the hair that framed her face back. Dis and Thorin's braids remained at the front, she would have to dye those last, along with Fili's and Kili's. First, she gathered the thick, red hair, that was not in braids and brought it around her shoulder. She looked into the mirror, then grabbed her dagger.

Holding a large section of her vibrant hair in her fist, Tauriel gripped the dagger tightly and closed her eyes. She could do it. It was for Kili. Hair grew back, eventually. Despite it all, Tauriel felt a sob bubble up from her chest and leave her lips, tears falling rapidly down her cheeks. She gripped the knife and placed it under the hair and took a breath.

Kili twisted in the bed, rolling onto his back and trying to get comfortable. He knew he only had a few hours before Finli escaped the clutches of his crib, but doubted his racing mind would allow him to rest before his son attempted to join him.

Kili sighed. What he needed to do, was he needed to work up the courage to actually speak to Tauriel. His mind went back to her dancing on the table earlier in the evening. She was a vision. It took him a short walk, and a very cold shower, to realize and accept that there was something there. Maybe, even without his memories, he can find something with her. Even if it is just a deep friendship to start.

His door slid open and Kili smirked. His little spawn was early. But instead of a small babe running in, a black feathered mass landed on his chest and began nipping at him. "Hey. Ouch. Kaw stop it."

"Nana." The raven croaked, then continued to peck at the young prince.

Kili scrunched his nose as he sat up in bed, then looked at the bird who was finally hopping off his chest and running towards the door. For a moment, Kili simply watched him leave the room, then he heard the sobbing.

Nothing, he could recall, would prepare him for the crushing, breaking, sound of hearing Tauriel sob. Before Kili realized what was happening, he was racing out his door and into her chamber. He heard crying from the bathing room and hesitated. What if she was in the tub?

Throwing caution aside, Kili opened the bathing room door as Tauriel raised her dagger and lifted a fistful of hair. "WAIT! STOP!"

Tauriel froze and whipped around, the dagger falling to the floor landing just at her feet. There before her, Kili stood looking stunned.

Kili gaped at her. She was going to cut her hair?! Not all that beautiful hair! "What are you doing?!"

Tauriel batted her tears away then slid to the floor beside her dagger. Her features depicting something akin to pure agony as she cried. "I cannot do it anymore Kili. I cannot…I cannot live a life where you cannot even look at me. I know I resemble her, I know it is my hair that…that reminds you of her. So I thought, I was going to…to sheer it off, and dye it black. If I did, then maybe, maybe you can stand to be in a room with me for even a few minutes." Tauriel fell apart on the floor as Kili knelt down beside her.

"No." Was all he said.

Tauriel looked up at him, her green eyes pleading. "Please Kili. I can think of nothing else. Everything hurts. My mind is in agony, and so dark, and cold. I cannot keep going like this."

Kili got onto his knees and lifted his hand to take a piece of her hair. "I said, no." She looked at him and he continued. "Yes, at first it was a link that I was unprepared for. But, I do not believe that there is a connection any longer. I do not see her in you, Tauriel. You are about the same as night is to day."

Tauriel wiped her eyes. "Then why? Why can you not even look at me?"

Kili cleared his throat. Stopping her from cutting her hair was one thing, but explaining that he was experiencing feelings he was having difficulty figuring out…was something else. "I am afraid I cannot answer that as of now. Maybe…maybe one day. I did not mean to hurt you though. Please know that."

Tauriel looked into his eyes, seeking the truth in his words. "Are you sure it does not bring you pain? To see my hair?"

Kili tried for a smile. "Certainly not, though there is a lot of it." He tugged at her hair and pushed a piece away from her face. His eyes caught a green bead and he grabbed it, looking at the craftsmanship. It had his name written all over it.

"I made this." Tauriel nodded, unable to speak with Kili being so close. Kili lay the braid back down and looked up at Tauriel. "I know you deserve more. But I cannot give you what you want. Not right now. I am sorry Tauriel."

Looking down at her hands, clenched in her lap, Tauriel nodded. "Do not be sorry Kili. I understand." She paused, words filling her head. "Kili, I know how I feel. I am not afraid. When you are ready, I will be here, waiting for you."

Kili gave her a smile and stood. He held his hand out to her, and without hesitation, Tauriel slipped her small hand into his. Kili felt the shock from the tip of his fingers to the ends of his toes. It was, intense and powerful but gone the moment she let her fingers slip from his. Kili watched her for a moment and turned from the bathing-room and back to his own bedchamber, leaving Tauriel alone to watch him go.

Naurfaer stood in front of a formation of rocks. He leaned in and could hear the rippling of water in the depths below. Perfect. Looking back, Naurfaer walked over to Galaddal.

"Well my friend. I believe this is where we might have to part." He pulled the bridal and saddle off, placing them on a rock beside the formation before walking back and patting the horse's nose. "You head back to Tauriel now." He gave the horse a good pat on the back and Galaddal nickered then ran in the direction of Erebor.

Naurfaer turned back to the rocks and began the decent inside. Having been the one to set this up, he was the only one who could use it. The cave was as tall as it was dark. The light did not even reach this far down. The elf whispered a few words and the cavern filled with light. A large gate stood, dark and silent. Beyond that a small craft waited, rocking back and forth in a lulling manner.

Naurfaer eyed the gate and tested the structure. As sound as it was the day he put it up. Smiling, Naurfaer grabbed his blades. There was a reason they were so unique. He held the blades up to the light and turned towards a pilar-stone attached to the gates. He brushed some dust away and felt along the stone until he found what he was looking for. Eventually, he found it and slid one of his blades into a slot, before doing the same on the opposite with its twin.

A 'click' echoed through the cavern followed by a hiss as the gate lowered. Naurfaer waited for a moment then jumped into the boat and paused, watching as the gate closed once more. He would have to leave his blades in the stone, or the second gate would not open. He looked back at the two handles and sighed. He loved those blades. No matter, there were no wars to be fought among the dead, was there? Still, he felt oddly incomplete without the blades he has had his entire existence in middle earth.

Giving the entrance one final look, Naurfaer removed the rope and pushed off using a long pole to guide the small craft.

The trip was not a long one, and Naurfaer watched as the final gate opened, then shut behind him. As he guided the boat forward, light began to fill the cavern ahead and Naurfaer squinted when the small craft emerged from the dark cavern entrance, into the sea. With purpose, Naurfaer pushed his boat ahead, his final thoughts before reaching the shore were of only Tauriel and Kili...this will work. This has got to work.

Original Authors Note: So much going ON! My sister yelled at me for making her cry with Naurfaer's departure….I cried while re-reading it myself. I am such a baby :D. If I get proofing now, I may even have another chapter to you before I go to sleep. Sweetness. Also, I am really wanting to keep reading, I have a problem. XD OH and the WORST is over and behind us so only healing ahead…or is it? Duh Duh DUUUHHHHHH. Jk. Honestly, I can't remember. How about, the most graphic stuff is behind us. Can't promise there wont be more emotional coasters ahead. See you soon.