Updated January 14th, 2022
Original Authors Note: This is a shorter chapter but here ya go. :)
Chapter Two
Chapter Two
Naurfaer hummed as he walked down the hall. With his extended hearing he could hear the rumblings of the mountain as the dwarrow inhabiting her prepared for the visitors nearly here. He paused at the door and thought maybe refreshments and tea would be appropriate for such an event. He may not be able to make Tauriel her beloved butter cake, as Fili REFUSES to even give him a hint of the recipe and neither would Dis, but he can make something everyone will enjoy.
With another hum to himself, Naurfaer turned back down the hall to enter the kitchen, putting the kettle on the stove and pulling out some of Dis's bowls and mixing spoons. He also gathered some ingredients for a simple but delightful spice cake, and ducked into the cooler for cheeses before he pulled the leftover ham to cut a few slices to plate along with some bread and crackers. He heard a flutter and a croak, then laughed as Kaw all but begged on the ground around his feet. "Now, where did you come in from?" He tossed the black raven some ham and continued his preparations with a dance in his step.
The Ukdam could be heard long before they could be seen. Even prior to cresting the hill, the air filled with sounds of singing, drums, and hand bells. The outer walls of Dale were filled with people watching the band of lively dwarrow parade themselves to the great gates of Erebor.
Tauriel watched, transfixed as she could see them making their way forward. Forget traveling group, it was a theatrical. Rather than dull, earthy tones in traveling clothes, brightly colored costumes sashes, and banners, flashed and waved through the mass of oncoming dwarrow. Not one looked exhausted from their long travels, instead they appeared invigorated with beaming smiles which could be seen through heavily bearded faces. They did not march either, no, they danced their way down the path. Even the beasts used to pull the carts seemed to sway in time with the beating drum which acted as the heartbeat of the group.
Leaning further over the banister then what would deem safe, Tauriel's eyes sparkled with delight at the spectacle before her. Only a hand on her back brought her to reality. "A sight, isn't it?"
Looking at her husband in her peripherals Tauriel nodded her head. She did, however, finally remove her eyes from approaching Ukdam to watch Finli, who was just as mesmerized from his place in Kili's arms. She was surprised, however, to see that rather than smiling and laughing, Finli was still leaning back against Kili, almost as if he was wary of the group. Kili too watching with a slight look of distrust, as he tightened his hold on Finli.
Ever since his return two months ago, Kili, though mostly back to himself, still did not fully trust the world around him. He held a deeper sense of, quiet somberness, then he had ever had before. He still smiled, teased, and joked his way through the day, but, Tauriel and many who were close to the dark haired dwarven prince of Erebor, could see underneath, he was quite changed. Could anyone blame him?
"Kili…"
The dwarven prince either ignored her or just didn't register his name being called since he continued to look ahead. "Kili…"
Still, he watched the parade continue towards the gate. It took another three tries calling his name before he lifted his eyes and turned his attention to his wife with a quiet "hm?"
"We are going to be fine Kili. Thorin will not let anything happen. There will be double the guard at the entrance wing and one of us will be up here the entire time whether it be you, me, Thorin, Naurfaer, or Fili."
Kili watched her for a moment. "I don't want you up here on your own Tauriel."
It took all her willpower not to snap. Thorin requesting she not be alone to see the Ukdam was one thing, but not being able to be alone in her own chamber is another. "Kili…"
"No." Kili sighed, exasperation filling his voice. "Please Tauriel? Just…don't argue about this one."
Not this again. Taking a deep, calming, breath, Tauriel turned her entire attention to her prince. "Kili, we have been over this before. You cannot hide me away or expect me to sit behind closed doors whenever something or someone comes that could bring me harm. I am a warrior Kili, I trained for hundreds of years to get to where I am at. Longer than you have been alive." Her blood was beginning to heat and she was brought back to their first argument in Ered Luin, one that made her feel as if Kili did not believe her capable of taking care of herself. He was doing it all over again. She felt undermined and weak. Tauriel was not just some, hapless female needing protection. She was a former captain of Thranduil's guards. If she has to shake her dwarf to get him to realize this, she will.
"I can't lose you."
It was as if someone doused her in ice. All the anger, argument, and frustration instantly left her with one quiet, solemn, pain filled sentence. Oh, Kili. "I am in no danger inside this mountain Kili. We are not even sure Finli is. Thorin is only taking precautions and not just with our child, but with all the dwarflings in Erebor."
Kili's eyes dropped to Finli who was quietly sucking on his chewing rag; his eyes not leaving the bright colors and music below. Kili sighed but did not say anything more. Where was her dwarf that would argue passionately? Where was her talker, her one who would share his feelings with conviction? Where was her Kili?
"Kili?"
Without turning his attention back to her, he once again answered with a hum. An acknowledgement he had heard her more than anything. It seemed it was time to be the one to do the speaking from the heart.
"Kili, I know deep inside you still carry that fear that this is all a figment of your shattered mind, that any moment, you will wake up back in that room." She saw Kili's brows furrow, then he clenched his jaw stubbornly and she watched as his spine stiffened and his eyes narrowed. Even Finli noticed the change and began to squirm in his arms before resettling, too tired and in pain to care.
Tauriel let out another sigh and turned her eyes to the Ukdam. "I am sorry Tauriel. This was supposed to be something special I wanted to share with you and Fin, but, I seemed to have ruined it again." Whipping her head to her prince, Tauriel stared hard at the being beside her. She first grabbed Finli, taking him inside and placing him in his crib. He was not really paying much mind to the oncoming group anymore anyway, and once down, he quickly lay himself on the mattress, turned away from Tauriel, and went still. One prince down, one to go.
A gentle knock at the door had Tauriel turn her attention to the entranceway of their chambers where Naurfaer stepped inside, carrying a tray laden with tea, cakes, cheeses, and crackers. "Thought you might be hungry.
"Naurfaer! I assumed you would want to be at the greeting." Tauriel stepped up and helped relieve him of some of his burden, placing it down on the table in the middle of the room. Her stomach gurgled at the sweet smell of cake and what looked like some cookies. Kili will enjoy those most certainly. Tauriel was glad, however, that she put Finli down for a nap. He could never resist sugar and with his teething, it would only cause him to stay up longer than he could handle. Her poor baby. The eleth turned her attention back to Naurfaer as he set the tray in his arms on the table as well.
The elder elf shook his head and smiled at Tauriel's assumption. "No, I think I would rather watch with my granddaughter." He looked at Tauriel and took her in. Not much got past him as he took in her deep frown and stiff posture even as she tried for a smile. She was so much like her mother in many ways. Yet, she was also different. Mostly from her being raised in Mirkwood, but she also held herself much like the dwarrow she so loves; emanating their proud stances, as well as their easy to read emotions at times. Thranduil would think her lesser of an elf for displaying her feelings so freely, but Naurfaer disagreed wholeheartedly. Showing emotions does not make a being weak, rather, in his experience, it makes a person passionate and passionate beings do great things. But still, he wanted to ask in case there was something he could do to help. "Is everything alright?"
Tauriel sighed. "As good as could be expected." Tauriel bit her lip, looking back at where her room led to the veranda. He gave her time to think, happy to help in any way even if it were silently. She seemed to make up her mind and turned back to Naurfaer. "If you give me just a few minutes, I think I can clear it up." Naurfaer nodded and Tauriel gave him a grateful smile then turned towards her bedchamber and the balcony.
With quick, light, steps, Tauriel returned to her other prince, the one who may have escaped torture at another's hand, but continued to torture himself. He was still turned away from her, seemingly lost in the enclosing cacophony of sound and celebration below them. Tauriel slid her arms around his waist, tightening her grip as she pulled him flush against her even as he stiffened in her arms, before relaxing and slightly leaning back. She rested her head on his shoulder and took a deep breath, breathing in the spicy, sweet, woody, scent that was all her Kili.
She thought back to where they left off just before she put Finli down and leant in, turning her lips to his ear as she whispered, "You have ruined nothing my love, but, I need you to do something for me? A few things actually."
Kili did not move, just, listened. She turned her head enough to look at him, noticing his sideway glance towards her. He gave his head a simple nod, and continued to wait on her demands.
"I need you to trust me Kili."
Kili immediately began to pull back and argue but Tauriel shushed him with her lips, pulling away only when she knew he would allow her to continue. "I know you trust me with many things, but, Kili can you trust me with my own safety and protection? Can you trust that I can look after myself at least in my own home? I made mistakes with Gildridd, I know I should have been more open and communicated better with you, and the family. But I need you to trust that I have learned from the past." Closing her eyes, Tauriel sighed and leant further into Kili, almost as if she were trying to merge herself with his very being. Maybe she was.
Tauriel's voice held a painfully forlorn quality as she continued. "I lost you Kili, not just almost, but I completely lost you. I lost you for nine months, then, I lost you again when you were finally returned to me with no knowledge of who I or Finli was. Those were, the hardest and darkest times of my entire existence."
Tauriel buried her face in his neck, seeking the comfort only Kili could give by just being present. "Now, I have you back to me. I will not take that for granted for even a moment." Tauriel breathed him in again and nuzzled his temple. "What's more my precious love, you have me in your mind Kili. IF I were ever to be in danger, you will know better than anyone because you will feel it." She smiled against his neck. "Kili. I am never alone. I will never again be alone. You are with me always, whether you are beside me, down the hall, or across middle earth, you will always be able to feel me with you, as I can feel you. Never worry for my safety, I have a warrior prince to guard me mentally, and physically."
Finally, Kili smiled his special smile just for her. "Can you do that for me Kili? Can you trust me?"
Letting out a low hum, Kili turned in her arms to pull her against him. "I will try amralime, with all that I am."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Naurfaer peek out, and she nodded her head in allowance and watched quietly as Naurfaer entered the veranda and made himself busy placing the tray down and divvying out the tea and treats, making sure to give Kili a few extra cookies. He looked like he needed it.
Tauriel placed her forehead against Kili's temple once again, the shorter hairs framing his face tickling her nose. It was not a declaration or a conviction he had given her, but it was enough. She still had deep worries about Kili; his mind frame and his current stability where not yet where she wanted them to be, but, she trusted him, loved him, and would do anything for him. Besides, frustration aside, Tauriel really never liked being parted from Kili. If he chose to be the one to stay with her when she was up in their chambers, she would not argue it.
Seeing they seemed to be alright now, Naurfaer joined them, passing each a cup of tea as they pulled away from each other. He noted the tense atmosphere but chose not to make anything of it. Tauriel would say something if she wanted him to step in. Instead, he looked out over the edge of the veranda and noted the group coming over the hill. "They are almost here."
Kili nodded and sipped his tea. His chocolate eyes dark but resigned. He looked up into the sky to see Kaw flying in circles just above them. Eventually the raven drifted down and settled on the banister, gaining the attention of the two elves and one dwarven prince. He gave a few ravenlike chirps but twisted himself to observe the approaching musical caravan.
Kili did not know what to think, or what to expect about the visitors. One moment, he was excited for the Ukdam to be there, but now, he is not so sure. Perhaps it was just because the news was thrust at him so quickly. He had no time to mentally prepare himself, to filter through the news, emotions, and feelings associated with the sudden addition to his home.
Taking another drink of tea, Kili could see Tauriel's eyes once again fixed on the oncoming group. She was looking forward to the visitors, he can tell in the way her eyes had sparkled earlier when she hung over the railing watching and waiting for the Ukdam to be seen coming over the hill what felt like moments ago. He was frustrated with himself that her exuberance had somewhat dimmed all because of him and his own fears he can't seem to get a grasp on.
Kili felt a hand slide into the one not cradling his cup and he looked over to his wife. She was smiling brightly once again. Her eyes promising everything will be alright and the hand in his proof that she was beside him. Kili felt himself relax, even if just a little. A second hand on his shoulder had him looking over to the other elf in his life. The one that risked his existence in middle earth if only to return a few precious memories to him. For a moment, Kili let his Durin and dwarven pride slip and realized he had two elven sentinels watching over him just as his family watched over them. Maybe, just maybe, everything will be alright this time.
Silently and once again lost in the moment, the small family turned back to the celebration below, watching as the Ukdam finally reached the gates of Erebor. Whatever the next few weeks brought it would be an interesting visit, that, nobody would argue.
Original Authors Notes: See, still a lot of healing to do. Poor Kili. I put him through the ringer last ACT…still feel a bit bad for that but…he's getting better. Still more drama, some good old domestic arguments, and much more to come. See you soon. Probably tomorrow or Sunday. Going to have a Lord of the Ring movie a thon (extended!) for my birthday on Saturday complete with an 8-course menu to follow starting at 8am. EPIC! I can't wait. So, if I don't get you chapter three by tomorrow, it will be Sunday for sure. Love you guys.