"Can I talk to you, your excellency?" Anakin asked as he entered the chancellor's office just as a group of senators were leaving.

"Of course, I always have time for you, my friend," he replied, "take a seat, our newest jedi master Skywalker." Palpatine smiled and gestured to the empty seat directly in front of his desk.

While he politely obliged, Anakin corrected, "Actually, the council didn't grant me the title of master. I'm still a regular jedi knight. Sorry to disappoint."

"Oh?" Palpatine asked, "And after everything you've done on their behalf. Doesn't seem fair, does it?" He shook his head. "Did they at least give you a reason?"

Trying not to reignite his anger at the situation, Anakin answered as calmly as he could muster, "They claim I'm too emotional and reckless to be a proper jedi master. I need to work on my rage and maturity before they'll consider me again."

Palpatine nodded to himself and said, "Ah, yes, the idea of full enlightenment and keeping yourself completely unattached. That certainly is one way to live, but it isn't for everyone. Don't worry, my friend, I'm not disappointed in you, I promise."

"That's good to hear," he said, unable to contain his excitement any longer, "actually, I came here to tell you that I have amazing news, but it's a secret. No one else can know about this, your excellency, I mean it."

"You know you can trust me."

He confessed, "The truth is, I haven't been following the jedi code as strictly as I probably should be. I married Senator Amidala right when the war started."

Surprised, Palpatine's eyes went wide. "Did you now?"

"Yes," he said, "and now she's pregnant! Isn't that great? I mean, I don't know how I'm going to keep the council from finding out about this eventually, but I just want to enjoy this while I can!"

"Well that is exciting news," he replied, smiling at him, "I don't see how it's any of the council's business. That's strickly personal. I can see now why you're so in tune with the force. The council claims it is because you're the chosen one but it's clear to me you use your emotions to fight."

Anakin confessed, "I do. When I was about to die on Gatia all it took was imagining Padme crying at my funeral to finally kill Dooku and save you. I couldn't bear the thought of her going to my funeral."

"You've seen that the angrier you get, the stronger you become," he said, "it's why you have such a hard time letting go of your feelings and detaching yourself."

"So, I'm not crazy then," he said, feeling like for the first time ever someone understood his internal struggles, "I knew my anger has been helping me. But I don't understand why the jedi council doesn't see it that way. How can they say I need to be so unattached when thinking about the love of my life helps me win?"

Palpatine answered calmly, "They fear what they don't understand. There's much more to the force than what the jedi will ever tell you."

Just when he thought he was reeling Anakin in, he watched him shake his head. "No, I see the points they've made about my rage. I shouldn't rely on it so much. Things can go wrong so quickly if I do." He shifted his glance to the floor.

"You speak as if you have experience," Palpatine said.

"I only ever fully lost control once," he confessed slowly. It almost felt as though the chancellor were somehow pulling the words out of his mouth. He had never spoken about the entire atrocity he committed so fully before, but once he started, unlike in front of the jedi council, he couldn't stop. "Back on my homeworld, I learned my mother had been taken by a primitive race of smugglers. I went out to rescue her, but by the time I got to her she was near death." He paused painfully. "They had tortured her so bad, I couldn't save her! The only thing I could do was sit there and watch as she died in my arms."

Palpatine said, "That must have felt terrible."

He carried on, "Those savages killed her, and being a jedi wasn't enough to save her! So I killed them!" The desk in front of them began to crack under his force powers. Palpatine watched in awe. "I killed every last one of them! The ones standing guard, the ones who fought back, even the ones who ran! I didn't let any of them escape, not the women, not the children! Not any of them!"

"Anakin," he said as he watched all the furniture in the room begin to levitate.

"They screamed out as they died but I didn't care because they deserved it!" Anakin shouted. He inhaled sharply and painfully, and as he slowly let out his breath their seats fell back to the floor. "But it wasn't right, your excellency. I shouldn't have done it. It's unbecoming of a jedi to kill when it isn't self defense. Those savages barely put up a fight, but I still slaughtered the entire tribe just for killing my mom. I shouldn't have killed them." He shook his head, tears were in his eyes. "I shouldn't have done it."

Palapatine stared at his power in awe as everything settled back into place. "Who else knows about this?" he asked.

Anakin quickly wiped his eyes and answered, "No one. The jedi council only knows I lost my mom, they don't know the sins I committed. If they find out, they'll kick me out of the order for sure."

"My, my, you weren't kidding about your rage," he said, gesturing to the now cracked desk sitting between them.

"I'm sorry, your excellency," Anakin said, "I'll get you a new desk."

"Don't bother," he replied, "I can afford a new one myself. Anakin, while your anger can bring about destruction, your passion is admirable and can be quite useful if it's channeled correctly."

He asked, "You really don't think what I did was all that bad?"

He said, "It was, but you've learned from it, haven't you? You've seen war up close now. You understand how to channel your power properly. Look around, you only barely cracked through the surface of this desk and made us fly for a few moments when you recounted such a painful incident. That's admirable control. Unfortunately, the jedi will never see it that way."

"I'm starting to suspect the jedi aren't as...noble...as they seem," Anakin confessed.

"Why?" Palpatine asked, "Did they ask you to do something you're uncomfortable with?" He didn't say anything, he couldn't even meet his eyes. "They want you to spy on me, don't they?"

He said quickly, "I didn't say that."

He replied, "It's alright, Anakin, I know this isn't your doing, it's them. Remember your early teachings, all who have power fear they may one day lose it. That includes the jedi. They aren't as dissimilar to the sith as they claim."

"The sith rely on their passion for their strength and only look inward," Anakin insisted, "the jedi are selfless and care about others." He said it as if he regurgitated it out of a textbook, not as though he truly believed it for himself. Palpatine noticed but didn't say anything.

"Right," he said, "selfless. Like the selfless act of freeing you from slavery, turning you into a jedi, claiming you're the special one who's going to save them all, yet at the same time they keep you at a distance and refuse to advance you. Never mind the fact they left your mother behind to die. Very selfless indeed, I would say."

Anakin didn't know what to say. The chancellor was correct, but he couldn't admit it out loud.

There was a ceremony for every jedi knight slated to become a master and every jedi, padawan, and youngling had been invited to attend. Anakin would have rather spent his time with Padme, but he knew that would look suspicious, so he went to the event. Obi-wan sat on stage with the other council members, while Anakin sat in the middle of the auditorium in an edge aisle seat.

As he listened to the speeches, he couldn't help but feel he should definetly be sitting among the graduates. Especially once he started to see who was given the title. He didn't even bother trying to conceal his jealousy for all the force users in the room to feel.

"Anakin," Obi-wan's voice came to him in his head, "Anakin."

"Yes, Master?" he thought back.

"The council members are beginning to feel someone's jealousy and anger all the way up here and I know it's yours," he said gently, "what's going through your head?"

Anakin looked onto the stage to see Obi-wan wasn't even looking at him. "I should be up there, Master," he insisted.

He replied, "Yes, you should. I wholeheartedly agree, however neither one of us can change the council's decision at this point, so I'd like you to focus on the people who are currently up here. Today isn't about you, and that's alright."

"But I've done so much more to help others than most of the people up there," he insisted, "I can't believe Danai is now considered a master! It took him 16 days to stop the seige of Olridian! I could have gotten it done in less than half a day."

Obi-wan explained, "The only difference between you and Danai is that Danai follows protocol."

Anakin asked, "You think maybe if the council didn't stick to closely to protocol that this war would be over with by now? Maybe it never would have even started."

"Anakin," he scolded gently, "calm your fury. This isn't the time to be thinking such things."

"What does the council want from me?" he demanded, "Do they want me to numb myself to the point where I feel nothing and turn into a boring old man? I won't do that, Obi-wan, I won't!"

Obi-wan audibly sighed. This wasn't working. Anakin was only getting more worked up. He re-entered his mind. "Why don't we do a guided meditation?"

Anakin glanced around at the crowd and asked, "Right here, right now?"

"Yes," he said calmly, "close your eyes, relax, and focus on the sound of my voice. Take a deep breath-"

"I can't," he said, "my lungs still hurt."

"Take mid-length breaths," he insisted calmly, "in and out, Anakin. Sit up straight in your seat and feel your feet planted firmly into the floor and relax to the sound the of my voice."

As the meditation went on, instead of calming down like usual, flashes of Padme dying appeared before his eyes. He tried to push them away.

Obi-wan's voice cut through his vision. "Are you listening to me?"

He opened his eyes and saw Mace had begun his speech at the podium. "I can't do this," Anakin whispered to himself before he told Obi-wan. He got up and bolted out of the room before he could see or hear his reaction. What was the point of having visions if he couldn't do anything to change them?