A/N: Started writing this back in August just before Fontaine dropped (bad idea), but it's finally done!

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You)

Chapter 1: Nothing To Change

Kaveh was not in the habit of eavesdropping on Alhaitham, but he was speaking with the Traveler, so he felt that he could be excused on this occasion. After all, pretty much every story Alhaitham had told him involving the Traveler was somewhat dangerous.

"So, what will you do now you're not the Grand Sage?" Paimon's voice was always so easy to distinguish.

Alhaitham's lower voice was harder to hear, but Kaveh was so attuned to it he had no problem catching his reply. "I'm going to continue being the Scribe."

There was a pause, a hum, and Kaveh didn't dare to peek out from where he was hiding, but he imagined Paimon and the Traveler were exchanging glances.

"You had the chance to change your job, but you didn't?" Paimon asked.

"Couldn't you have chosen any position?" the Traveler asked.

At this point there was a crease in Alhaitham's brow, and Kaveh could hear it in his tone. "I fail to see what's wrong with returning to my original role. As neither of you have ever worked in the Akademiya, I assume that I've given you the impression I wasn't satisfied being the Scribe. I would love to know what made you think that."

"Oh, uh…"

"I don't think it was that," the Traveler said after some thought. "We might have made different assumptions about your desires…"

Paimon nodded. "Yeah, like maybe you could have found yourself a job with less hours so you could spend more time reading!"

"Until the Akademiya finds someone as proficient as me, I will retain the position of Scribe. During my time as the Acting Grand Sage, it became apparent to me that I currently cannot stand to work in the Akademiya with someone else attempting to do my job."

Kaveh wanted to laugh, but he controlled himself.

"Wow, you're really that good at, uh, scribing?"

"Yes."

"Huh, alright then." Paimon hummed. "So, you're really just going back to how things were before?"

"Yes. One of my motivations for helping you out was so that I could return to the cushy life I lead."

"Oh, come on, you helped us out because you're a good guy too."

"Am I?"

There was no hesitation from Paimon. "Of course you are! You can't just help us overthrow your boss and then stick around to help settle the dust without being a little bit of a 'good guy.'"

"Alhaitham, do you not think you're a good person?" the Traveler asked.

"I think I'm a logical person. Some people may think my logical choices paint me as more morally grey than good. Say, you're not here to rope me into one of your do-good schemes, are you?"

"No, we really did just happen to bump into you," the Traveler assured him.

Alhaitham leaned back in his chair. "Perhaps to you two, change is something you enjoy, or perhaps it is simply something that you are accustomed to seeing. I imagine you leave a lot of change in your wake – you certainly did here in Sumeru. But for regular people like me, change isn't always wanted or welcome. Thanks to you – to everyone involved – some things have irrevocably changed, but I'm doing what I can to go back to a normal life."

"Can we help with that?"

"No," Alhaitham said quickly – accepting the Traveler's help was likely to only lead to more problems somewhere down the line. "The newfound reputation and recognisability is something I have accepted, and although I can think of a few ways to alter it, I don't think that's necessary. Additionally, I believe that being able to dream once more is the city being returned to its natural state, even if I preferred the peace and security of a dreamless sleep." Noticing the look the adventuring pair shared, Alhaitham added, "I like my life just the way it is. There is nothing I would change."

Paimon piped up immediately. "Really? Nothing at all?"

"Nothing at all," he confirmed.

"What about a bigger house?"

"A bigger house means more area to clean and care for. As I said, nothing at all."

Paimon hummed. "What about –"

"Paimon, he said he wouldn't change anything."

"Yeah, but –"

Alhaitham stood up. "I can't spare any more time to entertain you two."

"It was good to catch up," the Traveler said.

"Yeah, nice seeing you! Bye, Alhaitham!" Paimon called.

As he walked away, he could hear the Traveler and Paimon arguing about the other things she was about to suggest.

It was true, though; the life he was leading right now was perfectly fine. Could it be better? Maybe. Would he be willing to risk what he had now on the slight chance of improvement? No. Besides, many things came with pros and cons. And Paimon was onto something about his house, just not the right thing. The size was perfect, but the location was debatable. Living in the centre of the city was convenient, but ultimately he was more suited to living on the outskirts or further afield. However, if he did move, he'd be further from work and amenities, and he'd sacrifice time travelling for few benefits. The noise in the city wasn't that bad, he told himself, and it was way more tolerable than wasting half an hour walking to work from somewhere he could live in perceived peace.

"Oh, hey, Kaveh!"

Kaveh jumped with a small shriek that he hoped wouldn't give away his terrible eavesdropping choices. "Haha, you gave me a fright. Traveler, Paimon, good to see you."

"Sorry about the scare."

"No, no, not at all – it's my fault for being miles away."

"Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yes, most definitely."

Paimon put a hand to her chin as she sized him up. "Are you sure?"

"For once, yes. Can I help you two?"

"We were just stopping by to catch up with people properly after the Inter-Darshan Competition."

"In that case, do you want to stop for a coffee or something?"

"Well –"

Kaveh inhaled sharply. "Sorry, I can't do that now." He began to slowly walk in the direction he needed to go. "Maybe later, or tomorrow, if you're still around? Apologies, I'm meeting a client in, uh, well, I should already be there!"

Paimon yelled after him, "See you around, Kaveh!"

He threw up a hand to wave back, thinking that he couldn't explain that he was late because he was too busy listening to what his roommate was discussing at a café.

ooo

"You're in a good mood," Alhaitham noted that evening as Kaveh hummed a tune while washing the dishes. "Was your client pleasant for once?"

"She was certainly in the better half."

Alhaitham searched the cupboard for a container for the leftovers. "Don't stop just because I pointed it out."

"Oh? Didn't you mention it because it's unnecessary noise?"

"It's not often you return from a meeting in such high spirits. Besides, I think you're entitled to some music to get through monotonous tasks like the dishes."

"Will you play for me then?" Kaveh asked with a grin. "Or perhaps lend me your ear pieces?"

There was no immediate reply, only the sound of the lid snapping shut on the leftovers. Kaveh was tempted to look over his shoulder to see what sort of expression Alhaitham was wearing – had he overstepped by suggesting the ear pieces?

"Which would you prefer?" was Alhaitham's eventual reply.

"O-oh?" He hadn't expected Alhaitham to agree, let alone give him a choice. "You'd really play for me?" Although being allowed to don Alhaitham's ear pieces seemed the more intimate choice – surely Alhaitham would gently place them over his ears seeing as his hands were wet, and maybe his fingers would get tangled in his hair in the process… Kaveh could feel himself regretting his choices almost immediately, but no! Alhaitham was offering his time by playing the dutar, and time was something the man prized above nearly everything else in life.

"It would give me a good reason to practice."

Kaveh listened as the sound of his footsteps grew faint and then strong again. A few notes filled the air as Alhaitham tested the strings, ensuring it was as in-tune as he had left it. Then a short piece followed – Kaveh knew this was Alhaitham's favourite test piece that he always played to warm up.

"Any requests?"

"Whatever you'd like to practice."

Alhaitham considered his choices for a moment before plucking the strings to the tune of one of his current favourite songs. He'd never attempted to play this one before, but with an excellent memory and near perfect pitch, it didn't sound half-bad as he worked out which parts of the song he wanted to voice in his rendition.

He got lost in the music, playing some sections twice with subtle differences to decide which he preferred, humming along with other parts as he imagined how best to translate the vocals into his version. His voice wasn't terrible, but he much preferred to let the instrument have the spotlight.

Oh – maybe he should have picked a song Kaveh knew so that he could sing along? He probably would have enjoyed that… Alhaitham looked up to find that Kaveh had finished washing and was leaning against the sink, watching him with a smile.

"You're done." Alhaitham relaxed his arms.

"You don't have to stop playing." Kaveh had enjoyed listening, and had enjoyed watching even more. It was so much more interesting to watch Alhaitham while he was playing rather than reading, and apparently less easy to distract him.

"Would you like to play together?"

When was the last time they'd done that? It had been quite a while with their busy schedules. Last time Alhaitham had offered, Kaveh had to decline due to work he'd brought home.

"Yes, I'd like that."

They sat on opposite sofas, agreed on a piece, and the music flowed effortlessly. Kaveh marvelled at the way they could clash on all manner of things big and small, but put an instrument in their hands and they could harmonise in seconds. All they needed was to look up at each other occasionally to keep time, and then the music spoke for itself. Those moments were Kaveh's favourite; a reason to look into Alhaitham's eyes and wordlessly communicate something, and usually they were both smiling, whether they were aware of it or not.

After a simple piece, Alhaitham suggested a song, hoping Kaveh would sing, and he was not disappointed. Kaveh couldn't help singing along, and as they neared the chorus, he encouraged Alhaitham to join him. The Scribe was quiet, allowing Kaveh's voice to dominate, but he did sing along, because he knew Kaveh would like that.

As they played, all Kaveh could think about was the overheard conversation. He wanted to ask Alhaitham if it was true – was there nothing he would change? Because from what he heard, that included Kaveh living in his home. If he'd inferred correctly, he wanted to hear it said plainly. He wanted desperately to know that Alhaitham was happy for him to stay here until he changed his mind. Currently, Kaveh was grinding away with the intention of moving out as soon as he was able to, and, up until now, Alhaitham had shown no sign that he wanted otherwise.

Kaveh's fingers slipped on the strings as he realised something: if he moved out, would he upset Alhaitham's peaceful life by changing something?

Alhaitham's eyes shot up, fingers slowing as he ascertained if Kaveh wanted to join back in, giving him a slight nod as a cue, their melodies harmonising once more.

Kaveh shook his head at himself. Why wouldn't Alhaitham just tell him if it was true? He had, on more than one occasion, mentioned moving out, without any objection. Not too long ago, Alhaitham had even suggested it! On the other hand, why wouldn't he mention this to the Traveler? Paimon had even mentioned housing – how could he forget about his shared house? Why wouldn't he take the opportunity to complain about his living situation with people that knew he had a roommate?

The piece they were playing came to an end. He must have been trying to get rid of them quicker. Better to avoid answering than give a lengthy answer.

"One more?" Alhaitham asked.

"Your choice."

"How about I teach you something new?"

"That one you played first?"

Alhaitham smiled, glad to hear Kaveh had liked it enough to mention it again. "Yeah, that's my current favourite."

Kaveh listened to Alhaitham play it again – the version he had decided he liked best – paying far more attention this time now that it had been classed as a favourite.

Alhaitham paused. "Actually, wait a moment."

He put the dutar down and picked up his ear pieces from the table. Kaveh had really hit the jackpot today, he thought as Alhaitham carefully placed them over his ears. It was even better than expected; rather than fingers getting tangled in hair, Alhaitham gently swept Kaveh's hair behind his ears before slipping the ear pieces over them. The motion was swift and easy, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for Alhaitham to do, as if Kaveh shouldn't think about it over and over and over.

"This is the song," Alhaitham said, bringing Kaveh back to the moment briefly, because now they were sitting very close as Alhaitham fiddled with the music player.

Yes, obviously they had to sit with their knees touching because the wire wasn't very long, and Alhaitham (for some reason) had to hold the player rather than just give it to Kaveh.

Oh, actually, maybe he was this close for a reason, Kaveh realised as he noticed Alhaitham trying to listen.

Alhaitham hit pause. "The next bit coming up – I'm not sure if to prioritise the vocals or the ensemble. Let me know what you think."

The music in Kaveh's ears resumed, and he paid attention (he couldn't say he'd heard much of the beginning over the sound of blood and thoughts pounding in his ears), feeling pressured to make a decision about something he had only heard once.

Kaveh may have been the one who taught Alhaitham how to play back in their student days, but the junior had turned out to be a little musical prodigy with the way he took to it. Kaveh, on the other hand, was good at music, but he lacked whatever natural gifts Alhaitham had. He could never forget the first time they'd walked through the Grand Bazaar during a rehearsal, and both of them had taken a liking to a piece being played. Kaveh had said he'd drop by later to ask for the sheet music, but Alhaitham had simply led him back to his room and played what they'd heard almost note-for-note. It had been infuriating at the time, given that Alhaitham had only owned that dutar for about a month, but now Kaveh found it rather useful to have someone who could make sheet music for him.

In the end, he made Alhaitham play it back for him a few more times, because he quite liked the position he found himself in, and Alhaitham didn't seem to mind either.

"Alright, now play the versions you were considering earlier."

Instead of returning for the dutar he'd abandoned before coming across the room, Alhaitham reached for the one resting in Kaveh's lap. Thoughts about how Alhaitham vacillated between insisting Kaveh pass or give things to him and moments like this where he simply took what he wanted flew through Kaveh's mind, but he ordered his brain to focus as music filled the air again.

"Your interpretation of the vocals makes for the better piece," Kaveh decided.

Alhaitham nodded and handed the dutar back before returning to his sofa. Unfortunately, Alhaitham wasn't going to come back once he'd retrieved his dutar.

"So, starting with a D." Alhaitham placed his fingers in the starting position, looking over to see if Kaveh was mirroring him.

Many people would say that Kaveh hated following Alhaitham's instructions, or would try his best not to do what Alhaitham asked of him, unless he could do whatever it was while proving that it would have been done whether Alhaitham asked or not. These people might be surprised to learn that Kaveh was an excellent student under Alhaitham's tuition; he listened carefully and copied dutifully everything that Alhaitham imparted to him. If someone were to witness one of these music sessions, where there was never any argument or raised voices to be heard, no one would believe the witness.

They played until Kaveh noticed Alhaitham stifling a yawn.

"I think that's enough for today," Kaveh said. "I can only remember so much of a song in one day."

"Yeah, and it's getting late."

Despite that, Alhaitham didn't seem to be in a rush to get to bed, which is what that sort of line was usually code for. Instead, the Scribe reclined on the sofa with his eyes closed, doing nothing at all.

Kaveh picked up his dutar and the one Alhaitham had just set on the table, returning them to their rightful place (because if he left that task to Alhaitham it might not be completed for several days).

"Tea?" Kaveh asked softly.

Alhaitham cracked open an eye to check the time. "Sure." It was just on the cusp of being 'too late' for tea, but it had been a nice evening and he wanted to keep the feeling going.

By the time Kaveh returned, Alhaitham had managed to push himself up against the cushions, in a position just upright enough to drink tea in.

"Thanks." Alhaitham accepted the mug Kaveh handed him. "Sunsettia?" he asked after giving it a sniff.

"Yes, something simple is better at this time of the evening, wouldn't you agree?"

It was a test.

Alhaitham hummed in agreement as he sipped the tea. Kaveh had started to copy his trick of adding a spoon of cold water after brewing so one could start drinking it sooner.

Seeing as Alhaitham had nothing opposing to say, Kaveh decided to take the chance. He didn't wish to ruin the atmosphere, but he felt the time was right.

"Haitham, I saw you with the Traveler earlier."

"I'm not up to anything," Alhaitham said immediately. "We're not up to anything." Kaveh had not taken the news of the coup well, nor the incident with Siraj. He was quite convinced that Alhaitham should never be alone with the Traveler again.

"I know," Kaveh said, secretly amused by this reaction. "I happened to overhear something and wanted to ask you about it." It was, in Kaveh's opinion, best to confess to overhearing first, even if eavesdropping was a more accurate description. If he had opened with the same question Paimon had posed, there probably would have been an argument in which Alhaitham accused him of sneaking around (which was true, but he didn't need a lecture).

Alhaitham's brow furrowed as he tried to recall the conversation and predict what Kaveh was about to query.

"Is it true you wouldn't change anything? About your life?"

Kaveh had started humming as he did the dishes earlier because after letting Alhaitham's words sink in, he had to conclude that Alhaitham wanted him here, in his home, possibly indefinitely (although this was wishful thinking). He had to know the truth, because the logical side of his brain was telling him that he was delusional, but after their music session he had really started to believe in the fantasy he'd been living earlier.

"Oh, that bit…"

The silence that followed was uncomfortable for Kaveh, but he didn't know how to fill it. He'd been too caught up in actually asking about it that he hadn't considered what came after. Or had he been expecting Alhaitham to immediately pipe up with something like, 'of course I meant it! I especially do not want things to change in the house!' Meanwhile, Alhaitham was seriously rethinking his answer, because he wanted to make sure that what Kaveh had heard earlier was the truth.

Both of them sipped their tea simultaneously to fill the silence, but for different reasons.

Just as Kaveh was about to say something, Alhaitham said, "No, not at the moment."

Before Kaveh started celebrating, he made sure to clarify. "So, you actually don't mind me living here? It doesn't bother you to the point that you wouldn't change it?"

"With all changes, there are usually pros and cons. I could give up working to gain back hours that are wasted on things not relevant to my interests, but then I would lose the income I need to pursue those interests. Living with you comes with similar stakes."

"So, you think there are benefits to living with me?"

Alhaitham looked up from his mug. "You believe there aren't?"

"I was under the impression that the cons far outweighed the pros in this case."

"Maybe you need to re-evaluate the pros then. You aren't giving them enough credit – yourself enough credit, perhaps."

Well, that was the last thing Kaveh would be doing. "You're being awfully nice right now." Wasn't Alhaitham the one usually suggesting he move out? What did all those times mean if he didn't want that to happen?

"I enjoyed our dutar session, so I'm feeling 'nice,' I guess?"

Kaveh thought about all the benefits he provided as a housemate – as a second pair of hands, as domestic help, as… What else was there? How could help cooking and cleaning be enough for Alhaitham to want him here? How did that outweigh the joy of living alone with no one to bother him or invade his space? He had to be missing something.

"Don't think too hard about it," Alhaitham said. Despite the aura he gave off, sometimes he liked having another person around. But he couldn't tell Kaveh that, not without hiding it under a few layers.

Kaveh stood up. "Right, well, I have a few things to check over before tomorrow."

"While you're up…" Alhaitham held out his finished mug, which Kaveh took along with his own to the kitchen.

Only to return moments later to find Alhaitham making his way to his room.

"You were getting up anyway!" Kaveh complained.

Alhaitham smiled. "Thank you, Kaveh. Don't stay up too late."

He sighed and turned to his own room, a night of overthinking awaiting him.