Eric the Bed An episode featuring Bart, Lisa, Hugo and Maggie's baby brother Eric.
Plot
The title gag is the Simpsons riding in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
The couch gag is Grampa having his fortune foretold by the gypsy from Treehouse of Horror XII. She hands him the Death card. Grampa gasps and hands it to her. The gypsy gasps and dies.
...
It was a typical Saturday morning in Bart's room.
"The volume of your room is so exaggerated in Bart's house of Weirdness. No one has a bedroom that big... Except in mansions..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
Across the room from his bed was a punching bag for sparring with. To give himself something to be angry with to unlock his aggression, Bart painted a picture of Sideshow Bob on it. Because Bob keeps trying to kill him.
Bart grunted and sparred with the punching bag.
Oscar opened Bart's toy chest.
"Stay outta my toy chest..." Bart frowned.
"Why?" Oscar asked with a frown.
"Because I said so, and because your hands are sticky... I hate it when little kids with sticky hands gunk up my toys..." said Bart.
Ralph had a Krusty doll stuck to his head.
Bart sighed.
Oscar went to his room and switched the TV on.
"Welcome to the clown channel![Honking]" There was a channel with cartoon clowns on it...
"All the icky and uncomfortable feelings of clowns, Hours a day!"
"Hehehehe! Clowns..." Oscar giggled.
Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear was scared of clowns though. "Aah! Make it stop! Aaaaaagh!"
Oscar was staring obsessed at the red shiny round rubber noses of the clowns.
"P-p-p-pleeeeeaase buddy boy! Turn it off!" Teddy stammered frightened.
Oscar sighed.
"The clowns are the ultimate evil!" Teddy cried. "They'll destroy us all!"
Oscar rolled his eyes.
"Lots of characters don't like clowns..." said Teddy crossing his short furry arms.
They visit Billy in Endsville.
"Aaaaaagh! Do not mention the C-c-clowns!" Billy stammered hugging Teddy in fear.
"I wonder if Dagget and Zim feel the same about the clowns..." said Oscar.
Billy gawked at him.
...
Bart was in his room playing a video game.
Behind his bed there was a poster with a cartoon glove hand on it.
"Has anyone seen my white Toon gloves?" Quiffy asked.
"Quiffy I don't draw you with gloves..." said Oscar.
"All Toons have fancy shmancy white opera gloves!" Quiffy whined.
"Holy incisors! A clown!" Teddy screamed because there was a clown...
The clown honked a car horn.
Teddy screamed and hid under the bed.
Bart sighed.
He picked up his Krusty doll and pulled the string.
"Hooahahaha! Give a hoot, read a book!" said the clown doll.
Bart groaned. "Krusty... be cool..."
"I think it's neat that Krusty is encouraging kids to read..." said Lisa.
"Hey! Read the sign on my door! No girls allowed!" said Bart.
Lisa sighed and left.
Teddy was whimpering under Bart's bed.
"Oz get your weird freak of a bear out from under my bed..." said Bart.
Oscar glared at Bart, his pupils turned red as his evil powers unlocked.
Oscar and Teddy left.
Eric waddled in and fell flat on his face like Maggie so often did. The blue haired baby crawled about sucking his red pacifier.
Bart sighed.
Lisa wandering the landing while pondering benevolent ideas of science to help everyone, passed Bart's room he was playing with Eric.
Eric wearing a blue shirt and a diaper was sat on his short, plump knees. His legs pudgy with baby fat. Eric sucked his pacifier.
Bart was playing a castle themed board game.
Eric wanted to eat the tiny pieces.
"No Eric..." Bart took the tiny playing piece from him.
Eric bawled.
Bart sighed.
...
Teddy and Billy were dismayed Timmy Turner who was part of the "characters scared of clowns gang" was afraid of something that made him rather unhelpful when fighting the evil clowns.
"I'm afraid of oranges..." said Timmy Turner. "And other orange coloured citrus fruit like tangelos..."
"That's redicerous!" Billy mis pronounced ridiculous. "It is clowns that are afraid of tangelos..."
"They mess with their equilibrium..." said Teddy.
Ben Tennyson winced.
"Also why am I here? I got over my fear when I pummelled Zombozo..." said Ben.
"You got rebooted in Omniverse and suddenly were scared of clowns again..." said Oscar.
Ben sighed.
"I don't wike clowns... I don't wike clowns..." Chuckie Finster repeated as he curled up with his cheeks resting on his knees.
Oscar and Hugo were going out to the movies.
"Hey, Oscar and I are hitting the movies if anyone wants–" said Hugo.
"Shut up! Freak!" Homer yelled.
"Homer! Enough!" Marge said sharply.
Homer scoffed.
Oscar glared at Homer.
"Come on Oz." said Hugo as they left.
Oscar nearly walked out into the road. Hugo yanked him back.
"Oz careful! You nearly jaywalked!" said Hugo.
"How comes in Blighty we don't punish people for carelessness and recklessness?" Oscar pondered.
"I dunno, stop acting like a rube. You'll get yourself killed." Hugo warned him.
Oscar sighed.
They stopped off at Jurkle's. Oscar's jewish friend.
"I am observing the sabbath, or shabbat." said Jurkle not wanting to do much today.
Oscar switched the hall lights of his house's main hall on.
"Oz don't! I may not have lights on during shabbat!" Jurkle yelled.
"What do you do when it gets dark then?" Oscar asked.
Jurkle head butted the wall frustrated with Oscar.
...
At home. The Simpsons were heading to church when Eric messed his diaper.
There was a wet fart and a horrid splattering noise as Eric winced as he soiled his diaper.
"Eeeeeeew! Mom! Eric fudged his Huggies!" Bart groaned.
"Okay not so loud! Ugh! How did he turn pureed apples and cinnamon into that?!" Marge took Eric to change his diaper.
Eric bawled.
Bart groaned holding his nose in disgust.
Later they arrived at church. People were still looking at Marge's pin up calendar...
Marge sighed.
Everyone soon noticed her.
"There is the woman that made February the hottest month of the year!" said Comicbook Guy.
"Well he's single." said Marge's brain to herself.
"Ahoy hoy! Because of your shapely figure Marge I have decided to convert from the Julien calendar to the Gregorian calendar." said Mr Burns.
"Didn't I kill him recently?" Oscar pondered to himself.
Gregorian the raven headed evil wizard from the Smurfs laughed evilly. "A calendar named after me! How delightful! Mwuhahahaha!"
"Oh no! Gregorian!" Peewit the dwarf/midget/ambiguously possibly a short kid gasped. "I'm twenty five! I'm a dwarf!" He said to the fourth wall.
"Hows the air down there..." Graggle smirked.
"Oh real funny! Mocking a dwarf!" Peewit frowned.
"Mr Burns, aren't you dead?" Oscar asked.
A crucifix from the church fell on Mr Burns and crushed him to death.
Then a big sassy black woman appeared. "Marge I heard your pants ain't hiring because your butt won't quit!" She did a sassy head Bob.
Everyone clapped and cheered at her wit.
"Um... who are you exactly?" said Marge. "I've never seen you at church before."
"Mavis. I'm the token black character in church scenes now. Since the Hibberts went to gospel church! Ooooooh! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord baby!" said Mavis the sassy black lady.
Marge sighed.
"Mmmmmmhmmmmm! Oh yeah!" Mavis bobbed her head in a sassy manner.
Oscar mimicked her. "Mmmmmmhmmmm! You go sistah!"
Bart sighed.
...
Meanwhile Oscar and Hugo's B story.
Oscar and Hugo each bought a caramel apple from a street vendor.
The street vendor's caramel apple disappeared quickly, but not as quickly as Oscar had managed, nearly vacuuming the wooden stick into his lungs in his excitement.
"Oscar, not so fast, you're going to ruin your dinner." Hugo sighed.
The boy chuckled, using the stick to pick caramel out of his teeth.
"I appreciate your concern, but I think I'll be okay. Thanks again for buying this for me." said Oscar.
Hugo smiled.
"I wonder what's for dinner..." said King Harkinian.
Hugo face palmed.
"But seriously Oz, quit stuffing your face so much, you won't want your food later..." Hugo sighed.
Oscar Tamaki was eating cheesy puffs.
A giant monster made of random animal parts stitched together bought a second caramel apple.
"How comes he gets two..." Oscar whined.
"Because he is bigger than you and that's my way of doing things." said Hugo.
"All ways are my ways!" Oscar yelled. "This is my fan fiction and I'm in charge!"
Hugo sighed.
You really should listen to him buddy. He pretty much always knows what's best." said Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear who sniffs him a lot.
Oscar scoffed. "Yeah sure, the lunatic in the attic who eats fish heads know what's best for me..."
Hugo frowned at Oscar.
"Lisa would let me have two..." said Oscar.
"Ugh... you do what you want! Ruin dinner then!" Hugo pouted.
Anyhoo it was the Oscars at the movie theatre hence numerous Oscars... both real and fictional were there.
Oscar Wilde was there using purple prose and talking in riddles.
Oscar Pine and Weisse were there from that manga that theres billions of fan fictions of here... Must be a great manga then...
There was also Oscar the blue piano from Oscar's Orchestra and that blond girl wearing green goggles.
Hugo winced.
...
Church.
Everyone sat down in the pews. Bart and Lisa warped off to cathedral and Richard Gere's buddhist temple respectively.
Marge grumbled.
"Mmmmmmhmmmmm! Times are changing honey!" said Mavis.
"Please be quiet during sermons Mavis..." Reverend Lovejoy sighed.
Mavis was one of those middle aged buxom black ladies you see in church wearing a pill box hat.
Oscar's eyeroll was greatly exaggerated for effect, Also he has enormous, furry eyebrows!
"Enough about my eyebrows!" Oscar yelled.
Everyone gasped and muttered about his rude yelling in church.
Marge sighed.
Cathedral.
Bart arrived for confessions. He sighed as Father Sean and Obi Wan Kenobi were in a lightsaber battle with Darth Maul.
A choir boy was also baffled.
"We should let them sort themselves out..." said a fat choir boy with brown hair.
Bart sighed.
They all gathered in a classroom to wait out the Liam Neeson reference.
The class always had one desk empty. Bart felt someone was supposed to be there.
"Milhouse's on and off girlfriend Samatha. But Oscar interfered by getting her liberal mom to stand up to her dad..."
Richard Gere's buddhist temple.
Lisa was meditating.
Oscar brought in loads of clowns again. the red shiny nosed clowns meditated.
Lisa sighed flustered when she heard old timey car horns honking.
Back at Lovejoy's church. Eric messed his diaper again.
A horrid splatter disrupted a sermon.
Everyone groaned in disgust.
Marge sighed.
Plot 2
Elsewhere Bill the Waffleman collected his paycheck for being an utter freak and a nutjob.
Okra Winfrey waited in line behind him followed by many other aspects of Oscar's and Homer's imagination.
"Come on now Bill! George Bush Sr has places to be..." said George Bush sr.
...
At the movie theatre.
Oscar felt ill as he went pale like Wendell.
"Oz are you alright?" Hugo asked.
Oscar threw up in a bin.
"You ate too much, didn't you..." Hugo sighed with his hands on his hips.
Oscar moaned.
"Now say the magic words..." said Hugo.
"You told me so..." Oscar moaned. He puked in the bin again.
Hugo tutted.
Graggle slurped his soda with a straw.
"Stop with that infernal sound! That vessel is empty!" Hugo yelled.
Graggle sighed and tossed his empty drink in the bin.
"Scneeeeeeee!" Oscar Pines yelled. "I'm a codfish!"
Weisse sighed.
It had to be done!
"Okay what movie should we see?" asked Hugo.
"Planet of the Apes! You maniacs!" Oscar yelled.
Hugo face palmed.
"Anything other than that!" Hugo yelled.
"Shrek!" Oscar said before singing Allstar by Smash Mouth.
Hugo seethed.
"Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom? Kali maaaaaaaa! Kali Maaaaa!"
"Enough!" Hugo yelled.
Oscar Pines was dealing with his past selves, including Princess Ozma of Oz and the wizard, somehow...
"Pay no attention to manga character behind the curtain!" He yelled.
Wendell was baffled.
"My ancestors include Oscar the royal court jester of Prince Edward Tudor." said Oscar Tamaki.
Hugo sighed.
"Ignore him, for he... yeah he's dumb..." said Cousin Hank.
Oscar glared at Hank.
...
Church.
Marge changed Eric's diaper. Mavis helped.
"Thanks Mavis." said Marge.
"Mmmmmmhmmmm!" said the sassy black lady bobbing her head.
Meanwhile in the main chambers of the church.
Judge Constance Harm was dealing with the antics of her newest son, Jamie.
He had like his canon counterpart in Malcolm in the middle, a massive diarrhoea flood that would satisfy any sexual deviant...
Judge Constance Harm sighed as she cleaned him up.
"Come on Marge..." Homer sighed.
"Homer I am changing Eric's diaper!" Marge yelled.
Homer sighed.
He then thought about Burger King.
"I have no idea why they hired us to advertise them."
"At least you weren't kidnapped by Wendy's food and made to do a commercial..." said James Bouvier dressed as the new Wendy's French Toast sticks.
"With a hint of cinnamon..." said Milhouse.
"Go home Milhouse..." Homer sighed.
At cathedral.
Oscar arrived.
Bart sighed bracing himself for more stupidity.
"Bart one of the choir boys has taken ill..." said Father Sean.
"I can do that!" Oscar cut in.
We cut to him singing in the choir.
"In the jungle, the creepy jungle... Homer rides a freak! So pleeeeaaaaaaaase... settle for Seymour..."
"Oscar those are not the lyrics to All things bright and beautiful..." said Father Seah.
Bart winced.
Oscar was still singing The Lion Sleeps tonight with original lyrics.
Bart sighed.
Lisa was at temple, meditating.
"Oooooooooom!" And so on.
...
At home.
Eric grunted and shat his diaper again.
"Eeeeeeew!" Everyone groaned.
"So? I messed my diaper too." said Oscar.
"Oz stop being a freak and use the toilet..." Bart sighed.
Oscar thumped him.
"Usually I don't condone violence but you asked for that Bart..." said Lisa.
"Well I am going out. Ugh... must flee stench!" Homer groaned.
Marge sighed as Eric bawled.
She took him up to the nursery and changed him.
Justin Timberwolf was singing Hairy Back.
"I gotta hairy back... Aroooooo! The other monsters don't know how to react..."
Marge sighed.
Oscar waited, wearing just a diaper.
Teddy sniffed the front of his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose.
Oscar sweated and blushed.
Marge laid Eric on the changing table and changed him. A task she was an expert at.
Eric whimpered. The blue haired boy watched as his mother changed him.
Meanwhile Teddy was still sniffing Oscar's diaper.
"Ugh! Stop!" Oscar whined.
Teddy's wet, slimy nose twitching and quivering tickled him.
Oscar giggled because he is ticklish. He was still uncomfortable.
"Howl me a river! Aroooooooo! Howl me a river!" Justin Timberwolf sang.
Marge taped up Eric's diaper.
Marge then spoke about her day, Ie finding a rat under the couch etc.
"Boooooooriiiiing..." Teddy groaned bored.
Marge sighed.
Downstairs Bart regained consciousness.
"Did that freak pummel me?!" He frowned.
He decided to go out to the arcade.
Marge left the TV to entertain Eric. Eric was watching Bear in the Big Blue House.
...
Meanwhile Homer went out and about as Everyman.
"The super powered Gary Stu who borrows every super power! Also I need to get into shape..." Homer squeezed his belly flab.
"Nonsense! Us ample gentlemen need a superhero we can admire!" said Comic Book Guy.
Homer sighed.
"I got chest pains chasing the Lizard from Spiderman and what is stopping me just copying Thanos's powers by touching a comic book about Thanos and just erasing villains from existence..." said Homer.
Comic Book Guy sighed.
"Okay to balance things out, The Lizard is cold blooded so he can't run about much in British weather!"
It rained, Just like summers in Blighty. Ugh...
"Oh no! cold weather! My one weakness!" said the Lizard shivering.
Bart as Stretchdude winced.
"Also Iron Man's suit is not a super power..." said Homer.
"Fine! You absorb Tony Stark's wealth and engineering skills..." Comic Book Guy seethed.
"And his dodgy ticker..." said Bart. Tony Stark had heart problems so he built an artificial one.
Comic Book Guy muttered.
Everyman then encountered an evil talking cat.
"Uh?"
"Hold, two legs! Have you come to swear yourself to the cat goddess Sharess by my paw?" said a black and white cat with an evil, thespian Alan Rickman voice.
"Ah! A talking cat!" Homer as Everyman screamed.
"Fool! All cats talk!" said the evil cat.
"Yes..." said Salem from Sabrina.
Homer whimpered.
"Now - will you heed our Mother's call, and bolster her as she crushes the heathen Absolute beneath her divine paw?" said the evil cat.
Homer screamed and fled.
"Abase yourself two legs! Abase!" The cat yelled.
"Demon cat!" Homer screaned.
Bart as Stretchdude winced.
...
At the Wendy's.
"No I won't do a commercial! Run Morty!" Yelled Rick.
A lizard super villain was manning the till.
"Mesogog?" Oscar winced. "From Power Rangers?!"
"We've all fallen on hard times kid..." said Mesogog. Also that Robot Chicken sketch was funny.
Clownja jabbered in Dallas McKennon laughs.
"Oh good, puns. Because clowns aren't enough of a horror show already." Teddy whimpered.
"Shhhhh! Guys be cool! There's a retired Power Rangers villain here..." said Oscar.
"Hey Mesogog, conquered the world and turned people into dinosaurs yet?" asked Lenny.
"I assume you are are being facetious as you can clearly see I am now the manager of a Wendy's..." said Mesogog.
Oscar threw a Salt shaker at Snake.
"Okay who's the dead man who threw the salt shaker?" said Snake Jailbird.
Oscar pointed at Lenny.
Snake approached Lenny.
"Kick his ass, Sea bass." said Oscar.
There was a sea bass gasping and air drowning.
Oscar winced.
"Aren't you supposed to be at the movies with Hugo?" Teddy asked.
"Hugo won't let me watch the film I wanna watch..." said Oscar.
"We're not watching Planet of the Apes so you can scream sound bites from the movie through out it!" Hugo yelled.
"You maniacs!" Oscar yelled.
"Kid please order something..." said Mesogog.
"No! They'll make you do a commercial!" Rick from Rick and Morty yelled.
Oscar sighed.
Bart came in. He only goes to fast food joints to spray ketchup and mustard everywhere.
"Uh yeah... We'll go with that Narrator..." said Bart.
Then Homer tried to be strict Homer again.
Bart distracted him with talk about how he got out of jury duty.
"The trick is to say you're prejudice against all races..." said Homer.
"Or ask if it is an ant trial..." said Peter Griffin.
...
Round the back of the Wendy's. A fox was going through the garbage cans.
"A fox! It reminds me of the hunt!" said Oscar delighted. He got out a pump action shotgun and pulled on the pump to prime it.
"Aaaaaagh! No! Not the hunt!" Shippo, a fox demon cried.
Oscar fired at him. "Tally ho!"
Bart frowned.
"You deer hunter yanks can talk..." said Oscar putting his gun away. "With your flannel shirts and furry hats..."
"Whatever... Limey..." said Bart.
"Also Gino dislikes church bells." said Oscar.
In Italy.
The church bell rang.
"Campana forte! Campana forte!" Gino Terwilliger cried.
Bob and Francesca sighed.
They took him to see butterflies instead. Which he kept trying to stab.
"Farfalla vendetta! Farfalla vendetta!" Gino yelled in a high pitched manner.
Back in the USA, Grampa griped when they visited.
"You only need me for using handicapped parking spots!" Abe ranted waving his walking stick.
"Actually we don even need you for that. We use Oscar to misuse disabled parking bays." said Homer.
"Well don't! Why do I even have a blue disabled badge? I'm ADHD! I'm not crippled!" said Oscar.
"Well can we drive you down to the Social Security office? I need to pay a parking fine to get my car unclamped.
"Keep your paws off my money!" said Abe.
Homer looked smugly at Oscar.
"Hell no! I'll have you taken to court if you mess with my money I get for unfortunately being born quirky." Oscar snapped.
Homer sighed.
"I've said it once and I'll say it again! Social Security is for the old!" Abe said sharply.
"It is also for the disabled, both the wheelchair kind and other disabilities like my Aspergers!" Oscar yelled.
"Isn't this episode about Eric..." said Bart.
"It was originally about gay elephants..." said Oscar.
Plot 3
"Oh great the episode is back, and worse..." Hank sighed.
"Yeah well unfortunately we have no power here..." said one of his nasty friends.
Hank pounded his fists against his temples frustrated.
...
Sunday morning.
Everyone was rudely and abruptly awoken by Eric crying.
Eric bawled, which woke up Maggie who also cried.
Marge sighed.
Eric had down a dirty protest and wiped his dirty diaper across the bedroom wall...
"Um eeeeeew..." said Bart grossed out.
Marge sighed.
Bart went up to the attic.
"Nothing up here except old stuff and mysterious old stuff we sometimes find." said Bart.
"Ie Eliza's diary..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
There was also Marge's pin up calendar.
Oscar looked at it and wolf whistled.
Bart snatched it and frowned at Oscar.
Spare laundry, Ie shorts.
Oscar tried to eat them.
Bart grunted as he tried to take the shorts Oscar clamped his teeth into.
There was also a dusty old Barney the dinosaur soft toy Milhouse asked Bart to take, because it scared him...
"Aaaaagh! Barney!" Oscar yelled. "Kill it!" He plucked from his shorts a sponge.
Bart winced.
And a recipe for three day potato salad.
"Three days! Three days!" Oscar yelled.
Bart seethed.
Hugo hissed.
"Pipe down in my dank, lofty domain..." said Bart's twin.
"Haaaaauuuuuw! Hugey..." Oscar squealed.
Hugo sighed.
...
Marge eventually cleaned up Eric's mess. She sighed.
Lisa made a sculpture of a cathedral.
Eric tried to bite the steeple.
"Eric no!" Lisa groaned.
Eric bawled.
Marge sighed.
The attic.
Bart and Oscar passed a clothes rack with weird costumes hanging on it. Homer collects strange costumes.
"Ie his Mr Plow jacket..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
They pass an old chest, A futon...
Hugo was sat on the futon clipping his nails.
"What am I doing up here? In the creep's domain?!" Bart asked himself.
"Uh I um... suddenly I have cartoons to watch..." said Bart fleeing.
Oscar sighed.
Downstairs Homer was getting himself a beer. He went to the lounge.
The evil cat was outside, at the window. Homer gasped.
"Abase yourself two-legs! Abase!"
Homer screamed.
"Bring me some tuna, ape slave!" said the cat.
Homer screamed and shut the curtains.
Lisa was baffled by his behaviour. She shrugged and read a book.
Marge was nursing Eric, who was crying again.
"Has he just cried and pooped all day?!" Homer asked.
"Well not all day..." said Marge.
Eric bawled.
Marge sighed.
...
In the future...
Eric can now talk.
"Holy pickles!" That was his catchphrase.
He was startled by the presence of Bill the Waffleman.
There were several failed OC siblings. Some guy created Dana which leads to More Oscar madness.
"Has anyone seen Dana?" asked Mooch Bart.
"There is no Dana! Only Zuul!" said Oscar.
"Knock it off Oscar..." said Bart.
Oscar now had a cybernetic arm, he lost his arm somehow.
"It's not so bad, my cybernetic arm has a taser built into it." said Oscar.
He zapped Homer, Homer screamed.
Hugo laughed. He was a mad scientist in the future.
"Simpsons stay inside! There's a pandemic about!" said Wiggum.
"The president doesn't think so!" said Homer.
"Yeah well the president is an idiot..." said Wiggum.
"He lives rent free in your head chief! Hohoho!" said a Trump supporter.
"Yeah you keep believing that..." said Wiggum.
The Simpsons went inside.
Oscar put on a mask to block any viruses from infected.
"They don't work!" said the Trump supporter outside.
"They do, why else do surgeons wear masks?!" said Oscar wearing a surgeon mask.
"Reeeeeeeeeeee! Liberal facts! Reeeeeee!" The Trump supporter was triggered.
Lisa was Jake Toilet all the time now.
Teddy was sniffing him with his big wet shiny black round nose.
Jake winced and sweated.
Oscar's living teddy bear thing kept sniffing him.
Mooch Bart sighed while playing League of Legends.