Chapter 8
She had frozen the moment his lips had touched hers. Even so, his hand cupped the side of her head, his fingers tangled in her hair. Her lips parted and then he accepted the invitation. Her mouth was velvet soft and he tasted her. It was more than he had imagined. The taste of her was heaven and he wanted more.
Her hand came up and then she pushed him gently back. His breathing was harsh in the sudden shocked silence of the room. Daniel's mouth was hanging open, eyes wide. Teal'c – well, who could read that stoic impression but even so Jack caught a minuscule shocked expression. And then a quick upwards tick of the corner of his mouth. For a moment he wondered if the big guy was going to grin.
"Jack?" Sam questioned softly.
He sighed. Pushed his cup into her hand and then turned and left them all in the kitchen and made his way blindly outside. The sun had fully risen and he could hear the distant cries of vendors as they opened their stalls. He took another deeper breath while he tried to bring his heartbeat under control.
"That went well." The boy said smugly. "Any other impromptu acts of a physical nature, warn me next time."
"Just …shut up." He breathed. He took off to the gate and came to a standstill just as he was about to exit, remembering just in time that out there Marcus was waiting for him. He huffed in frustration, unsure what to do. He needed a physical outlet and it was prevented by the very fact that the compound had now become his prison.
"You should talk to her." The boy continued gleefully. "You know…just so that she can be better prepared next time before you kiss her again."
He glared at the empty space next to him.
"Just saying…" the boy said. "What are you going to do now?"
"I don't know. Marcus has at least three men stationed out there," he said, indicating with his head towards the road. "Not leaving this place anytime soon unless…" he turned and looked around. But the way that Seth's yard and house had been situated next to the 8-foot wall made scaling it almost an impossibility.
"Why leave?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Not sure how welcome I'll be." He said. "And it's always good to have more than one way to leave a place."
"That's true." They boy placed a ghostly hand in his. Tugged at his arm and he followed the prompt. The boy led him to behind Bess' stall where it sat snug against the wall. The fingers left his hand and he looked up and found what the boy needed him to see. He could see footholds against the anchoring corner post. It made scaling the wall easy. He reached for one of the holds when he felt her presence. He turned, hands dropping next to his side. She stood at the other end of the little alley that was created between the stall and the back wall.
"Jack?"
"Oh, hey." He could still taste her and looking at her standing there he wanted to step up to her and complete the kiss. The boy sniggered and it was like cold water on the heat burning inside him. He dropped his gaze. Wondered what she'd do if he scaled the wall and went over in front of her.
"What was that?"
"You asked me what I wanted." His fingers were beating a staccato on his leg.
"Okay. Not really what I expected…" She glanced back behind the stall. He frowned.
"Who else is there?" he asked. She dropped her chin and twin brushes of red came on her cheeks. Daniel stepped up next to her and gave him a little wave.
"Hey."
"You're in so much trouble." The boy said and giggled. "You didn't ask her about the lake…Noooo. Mr Action man had to go ahead and kiss her in front of everyone."
"Who was afraid of Anubis?" He said out of the side of his mouth. Daniel frowned and the boy suddenly went quiet. His presence was there and then it wasn't. Gone in an instant and he felt an emptiness he hadn't expected. He sighed.
"Who are you talking to, Jack?" Daniel asked softly. He took a step closer and Jack stepped backwards, his back hitting the wall. He glanced upwards again, counting the footholds. Estimated the time it would take him to go over the wall before the other man managed to catch up to him. Daniel held up his hands and stepped back.
"Hey, it's okay, Jack. Not going to hurt you, okay."
He nodded but still eyed the other man warily. "Jack. Come back inside," Sam said. "We need to talk…" She grimaced. "Uhm, it might help if we give you some background."
He studied Daniel and Sam as they waited in front of him. He wondered where the big guy was. Probably still in the kitchen waiting for all of them to return. "Fine." He said in the end. He waited for them to turn and start walking back before he followed. He stayed beside the doorway, arms folded across his chest. Daniel stood by the firepit and Sam sat down at the table again. Teal'c was still in pretty much the same spot as when he'd left. He wondered if the big Jaffa had moved at all in the intervening time. Sam glanced at Daniel, raised an eyebrow at the other man.
"Right." Daniel had a nervous energy that was bouncing off him. His hands and arms didn't seem to know what to do with themselves. "Uh…where do I begin?" Daniel pushed his glasses back and he wondered if it was a nervous habit the other man had formed in his early years. Maybe a comforting action to help him settle his thoughts.
"Okay. There's no easy way to say this, so Sam is going to come right out and say it."
Sam gave Daniel a look. One that couldn't be misinterpreted. He found himself smirking, despite the situation. This seemed familiar somehow even though he only met these people yesterday.
"Well, Jack…you are the leader of our team. We go to different worlds and explore. Uhm, you carry the rank of colonel."
He waved a hand and stood away from the door he had been leaning against. "Not really relevant right now, is it?" He said. "I don't remember any of that stuff."
"You are Jack O'Neill and a warrior of great renown. I have given you my alliance freely."
He turned to the Jaffa. "Now see, that makes a lot more sense." He turned to Sam. "Are you sure we're not…"
"No."
"Methinks she protests too much."
Damn. The boy was back. And it was barely a protest at that. "Look, what is it you want from me?" He asked. "Not that I'm not flattered but I don't know any of you from squat."
"Fair enough." Daniel said. "Coming from where you're standing, that does kinda make sense."
He waited. Daniel tightened his lips. "Anubis forced you to use the ancient device. We don't know what the device is for or even what it is supposed to do. All we know is that you…" he gestured at Jack, "…as a result seem to have lost all your memories. And you are somehow still linked to the device which means we can't take you away from here on our ship. I'm guessing that even if we tried you'll still end up back here. At least you haven't started talking in Ancient yet."
"You forgot about Marcus." He said clearly, ignoring the bit about talking in Ancient. He made a mental note to ask about that later but for now he already had enough to deal with.
"What?"
"Big guy. Red glowing eyes. Want me to fight for him or sell me back to Anubis. I guess whichever will make him more money."
"Oh right. Sorry, yeah. Didn't think he really counted. Jacob said that he wouldn't bother us."
"You need to get her alone and ask her." The boy pulled on his hand. He felt a headache coming on. This was the most he'd spoken aloud since waking up in the cell. But the banter was familiar somehow and in honesty, he was starting to enjoy himself. He tried to remind himself that he was far from safe. That Anubis was searching for him and Marcus was waiting for him. That he'll be in a world of hurt soon if Anubis' creepy dream of this morning was any indication. But even the boy seemed to be a little more upbeat and the whispers were quiet.
"Jack, you okay?"
He realised he had closed his eyes briefly as a sharp pain flared through his skull. Right behind his eyes. "Yeah. Headache. I'll be fine." He heard the door open behind him and he turned to look to see Seth and the older Jaffa enter the small hallway.
"Good. You're up." Seth said.
"You look well, O'Neill." The older Jaffa said as he eased past him into the kitchen. He and Teal'c gave each other a knowing look. Seth made for the fire pit and stirred the coals with a fire poker that he took where it had hung against the wall.
"Anubis has more patrols out in the city. They are doing house to house searches again." He said. "We might not have a lot of time."
"Damn." Daniel huffed. "What are we going to do about Jack? It's not like he can leave the city?"
"I can hide him. He's not going to be a problem."
"Okay, I guess we can go back to the ship. Stay there for the next day or two." Daniel said. "But we do need to discuss what we're going to do. The longer we stay here on this planet, the higher the probability that our ship will be discovered."
Jack watched them. "Do they all have to go back?" he heard himself asking. The boy sniggered again. Seth looked up surprised and Sam looked embarrassed. Daniel shuffled his feet. The only one who didn't seem to have any reaction was Teal'c. He suddenly wondered what it would take to make the big Jaffa show emotion.
"What's going on?" Seth asked, straightening from where he had been busy. Jack eyed the poker in the man's hand. It brought back memories of the pain sticks one of the Jaffa had just loved to use when it had been his turn to show Jack the error of his ways while Anubis was present. He took a step back, his breathing increasing slightly.
"Put it away," Daniel whispered to Seth, his eyes steadfast on Jack. "Who do you want to stay, Jack?" Daniel asked and he got what the man was doing. Drawing his attention away from his own surging memories and the poker stick in Seth's hand. He swallowed against the sudden dryness in his throat. He didn't know what to say. His eyes drifted back to Sam. She overlayed with Sam on the dock and it was getting harder to separate reality from the dream in his head. He cleared his throat and looked away. He could feel the boy still standing next to him but he was surprisingly quiet. He didn't know what to make of it either.
"I only have enough space to hide Jack." Seth said and he almost breathed out a sigh of relief. Daniel's sharp gaze didn't miss his relief though and the other man frowned briefly.
"Jack, do you know where Anubis keeps the ancient device?"
"The throne room?" he queried. To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure. Anubis mostly saw him in his prison cell and only very occasionally had him dragged up to the throne room when he had been particularly obstinate in the beginning. He had learned his lesson fairly quickly.
Don't make a fuss.
Don't call attention to yourself.
Just lie there and take it.
Rules he lived by now. This…this was starting to look like a good way to draw attention again. He ached just thinking about it.
These people…he felt safe with them yet they seemed blindingly obvious to the danger they were in. Anubis wasn't kind.
"Don't go." The boy said beseechingly. Softly. "They will help."
"How?"
Five heads came up and showed a sudden interest in his question. Daniel most of all seemed to make a connection somehow.
"Jack, is there someone else here?" Daniel asked. How was he going to answer that question without seeming to be crazy. He shrugged his shoulders and the boy whispered, "Coward."
Sam and Daniel shared a look before she turned to Seth. "Dad, maybe I should stay?"
"Sam…" Seth stepped up to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "It will be hard enough as it is to keep Jack safe for now until the house searches are done."
"Yes but…"
"Please Sam."
He watched with interest the interaction between father and daughter. There was something more here and he wondered at their relationship and how close it was. The hairs on the back of his neck rose and suddenly they were back. The whispers were still soft but there was no mistake that they seemed happy that Sam was not staying. The boy crowded closer and he felt a tug on his pants. He patted empty air, imagining shoulders right at the spot where his hand was moving. "It's okay." He whispered, looking down.
"Jack?" Daniel queried again.
He couldn't do this. He turned and left, making his way to his room and closed and locked the door. The whispers were getting louder and he sank down on the bed, head in his hands while he tried to ride out what was clearly going to be an episode soon.
This wasn't the first time that he'd experienced the fear that he'd come to associate with what is coming.
There came a tentative knock on his door. "Jack?"
It was Sam. Of course they'd take turns to see if he wasn't falling apart.
"Can I come in?"
He wanted to tell her to go away and at the same time he wanted her here, his head in her lap and her fingers in his hair, telling him that he was safe.
He wanted more than that.
He wanted her.
He groaned. Fisted his hands into his hair while the whispers danced around him, coming closer.
Then he didn't have a choice anymore and the whispers took over.
He was back in the basin and he felt like he was going to cry. Not even the manly, hold yourself together tears. No. He felt like ripping it loose at the unfairness of it all. He sat down on the ground, a puff of dust enveloping his body in a thin layer of grey.
"What are you doing?"
He plopped onto his back, an arm over his eyes. "What does it look like?" he asked the boy. He felt a small body sit down next to where he was lying in the dirt.
"Since when do you just lie down and take it?"
He gave a laugh of derision and then took away his arm to glare at the boy from underneath his lashes. "You know what's coming."
"Yes." Brown eyes met his filled with sympathy.
"This way is better." He said and closed his eyes again. He could hear him coming closer. Fear was drying his mouth and clenching his stomach muscles. He tried to relax as much as possible. Willed muscles stiff with terror to not tense up.
"Since when?"
The boy was persistent. He had to give it to him.
"It's over quicker this way." He said. "And it doesn't hurt as much."
"Yeah…maybe." The voice was soft. Introspective. "What are you going to tell him this time?"
He sighed. Rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbows. "Same as always I guess." He said.
The boy nodded. He was drawing in the dust. Signs and letters that didn't make sense to him.
"What are you writing?" he asked, squinting at the letters upside down.
"Ask Daniel." The boy said. "When you're back at Seth's house."
"I am at Seth's house." He said.
"You know what I mean," The boy said. Wiped away the letters. The boy wrote down one word this time. Squinted at it and drew a big circle around it.
"Fine. You need to go." He said. "You don't want him to see you again."
"Yeah…" The boy didn't move. "About that…it's getting harder to hide."
"Why?" Despite his promise to not make it harder than it already was, he sat up. Managed to read the word in the bubble. He frowned at it.
"Anubis knows."
He felt dread churn his stomach into water. He glanced at the distant mountains. At the plain that stretched out before him. Wondered how far he'd get before he arrived.
"How?"
The boy shrugged his thin shoulders. "I don't know."
"Okay. So now what?"
The boy wiped away the word and got up. "I'll be back." He said and then he was gone. He sat on the plain watching the wind swirl dust clouds around him, the mountains blue in the distance and the sky was clear and the thin blue winter's colour of the desert.
"Where's the boy?"
He didn't bother turning. He closed his eyes and pushed his terror down. Lay down in the dirt and curled into a small ball. Held his knees close to his chest, his head pulled into his knees.
"He's a liability, you know that right?"
He didn't bother replying. The entity came down on one knee next to his body and a hand stretched out. Gentle as it settled on his shoulder, turning him onto his back. He allowed him to do it, having learned long ago not to fight.
"Open your eyes."
He shook his head slightly. Stubbornly kept them closed even though he knew what was coming.
"Why do you persist in fighting this? You will feel so much better once you accept what is going to happen."
"No."
"Open your eyes."
The hand on his chest was becoming insistent. He did as he was told, opening them to look onto the face of the man. He was a big man with a round face and fat fingers. He was smiling as he looked down at him.
"There. Better."
He waited. Not saying a word, frozen in place by the man's presence more than the hand that was still resting on his chest. And the knowledge of what was coming next.
"I promise it won't hurt. Just let it happen. Open yourself up and let go."
He shook his head. "No."
The man sighed. His fingers pressed down harder. It was starting to hurt now. He tried to relax. Tried to will his muscles not to tense up. It was getting harder to just lie there and take it.
"Very well. Then we do this the hard way."
A light started to glow beneath the man's fingers. He squirmed at the heat that was generated. Tried to tell himself that it was going to be okay and this too will pass. That he'll wake up in Seth's house…
"Who's Seth?"
Damn. He had forgotten. Here in this place his thoughts could be read by this man.
"Just do what you came to do and leave." He said.
The man tilted his head and took his fingers off his chest. A chair appeared and he sat down in it, his girth engulfing the throne-like chair.
"Not this time. You shouldn't have left." The man said. "Things were progressing at a steady pace."
He relaxed, lying there in the dirt at the feet of the man.
"Really?" he quipped. Watched the play of emotion on the man's features. The man seemed amused by his statement. "I don't think so."
"Be it as it may, you were starting to realise that you can't keep fighting me."
"Yeah…about that." He stirred and when the man did nothing except raise an eyebrow, he took it as permission and rolled over and sat up on his knees. He was careful to keep his hands on his knees. "Not giving up today, sorry."
"Oh." The man shifted on the seat and the chair creaked ominously. "Are you seriously telling me that you aren't even in the least bit curious to have all that knowledge open before you?"
He shook his head. "Nope. Don't have enough brains for that."
"But you'll have all the power at your fingertips. Surely even you can be tempted."
"Maybe but I think I like what I've got."
"Phht." The man waved a hand in the air. "What do you have but broken memories and a lost soul."
"Doesn't matter. I'm still me in a sense."
The man laughed. "Do you really believe that?"
He shrugged. What did it matter? As long as he did he could at least keep trying.
"I grow tired of your obstinance." The man said. He rose and the chair disappeared. He loomed over him where he was still kneeling in the dirt. He looked up and grimaced.
This was going to be a bad one.
A hand settled on his head. Fingers gripping his hair. "Why don't you just give in?" The voice was moody, petulant. The question is rhetorical in the current setting. He didn't bother replying.
Then the agony came and soon after his screams started.
A hand was running through his hair.
It was nice.
He could smell her. His head was on something soft and for a moment he wondered if he was back on the dock with her. He shifted and found that he was lying on his side and when he opened his eyes, he found that he was lying on a mattress with his head on a pillow in what looked like a small cellar. She was sitting by his side and her hand stopped its caress when she noticed that he was awake.
"Hey Jack." She said softly. "You okay?"
"Please don't stop," he said, closing his eyes again. He was tired. These episodes as he liked to dub them always seem to leave him wrung out. Empty of all thought except the knowledge of agony. Her hand started its soft caress again and his breathing slowed.
"The others had left. You've been unconscious for more than four hours. It's only my dad that's left, and well, of course us."
"Why?" He had enough energy to question her. He needed to sleep. Wondered if there would be any chance of that before they had to move.
"It took so long to find you…" Her voice trailed off and he felt himself drifting off. "…I just couldn't bear the thought of losing you again now that we found you."
"Okay."
"What is happening to you?" She whispered.
"I don't know." He said wearily. "I need to sleep."
She was quiet. He drifted off then, acutely aware of her fingers where it trailed through his hair and the sound of her soft breathing and the feel of her body so close to his own.
He relaxed and then sleep took him.
"That sucked."
He turned to find the boy seated on a boulder, legs swinging in the air.
"Yeah."
The boy leaned back on his arms and tilted his head towards the light, hair hanging in a messy tangle, stirring in the wind.
"I like this place." The boy said. "It's peaceful."
He sat down on the boulder next to the boy. Watched the sun as it was setting in the distance, long streaks of golden rays streaking across the sky. The boy sat up straight and turned his attention towards him.
"He's not going to stop."
He watched his fingers play with a stone he'd picked up from the boulder he was leaning against. "I know."
"You should let them help you."
He weighed the stone in his hand and turned to the boy. "What exactly is it that you know and aren't telling me?" he asked. The boy smirked.
"Though a candle burns in my home, there is no-one home."
He frowned. "What?"
"Think about that, Jack." The boy said, jumping off the boulder. "See ya later."
He watched the boy skip down the path towards the sun. And then the boy was gone and he was alone. He sat there for a long time, enjoying the quiet while he contemplated the words.
It was dark and quiet when he finally woke up. He wasn't alone on the mattress anymore. Sam had wiggled herself next to him, spooned into his side. His arm was over her stomach, her hand nestled in his. Her hair tickled his nose and he shifted his head slightly, finding that he didn't mind the smell of her hair at all. There was a hint of something fruity. He couldn't place it but it smelled sweet.
He lay there just enjoying the feel of her in his arms and wishing with all his heart that this could be more than just Sam finding a sleeping arrangement that was practical. A noise above them drew his attention and he tensed. She woke up and he had a hand over her mouth before he even thought about what he was doing. The unmistakable thread of Jaffa boots came over their heads.
"What is the meaning of this?" He heard Seth clearly speaking.
"We heard that you are harbouring the one that Anubis is looking for." Came the deep bass of one of the guards he recognised from his time with Anubis. His heartbeat was doing double time while he listened.
"There's no-one here." Seth declared, "My tributes are up to date."
"Kree."
"Okay, take it easy." He heard a shuffle of feet. The more movement and the screech of furniture being moved across the floor. He counted under his breath as they listened to the search happening above their heads.
He and Sam heard one of the Jaffa guards speak to another. Apparently they were now focusing on anyone named Seth in the city. Evidently it was a common name.
There were some things to be grateful for.
Sam sat up and he reluctantly let her go. He found himself seated next to her, their shoulders touching in the small space they were in. They were quiet, suppressing any noise as much as they could. They weren't sure if one man had been left behind and until Seth opened and let them out, they both seemed to understand that silence would be better. He couldn't explain it but he felt comfortable with her. There was just something about her that calmed him. Just like he felt safe with the big Jaffa Teal'c. Or trusted that Daniel would lead him to do the right thing. This group of people he had barely met two days ago and yet he seemed to know them intrinsically. Even Seth and the older Jaffa were somehow familiar. He reached out a hand and tentatively took her hand in his. Brought it closer to his own body. In the dim light of their hidey hole, he examined her hand by feeling alone. He ran his fingers over hers. Felt the palm of her hand and ran fingertips gently over the back of her hand. He ended up threading his fingers through hers and it felt …right.
She gently pulled her hand out of his.
He let her.
What else was he to do?