September 5, 1992
"Knock knock."
"Who is it?" Severus replied as he sat in his classroom busily grading papers.
"Just me." Theda said, gently pushing the door open. "I didn't see you at breakfast. Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine." He said, still looking down at his papers. "Just wanted to get a head start on grading these before my first class gets in."
"Good. I'm glad you're not sick because I brought you some food." She said, smiling as his eyes rose to meet hers. "Let's see... We've got a bacon sandwich, a cauldron cake, beans on toast, an apricot, and... some kind of loaf. It looks like it might be sweet. Does any of that sound appealing?"
"Umm..." He mumbled, thinking. Severus skipped breakfast fairly often and no one had ever seemed to notice or care before. "I'll have the beans on toast and the cauldron cake."
"Sure!" She said, setting them on his desk along with a cup of hot tea.
"You didn't have to do this." He said, unsure how else one would usually respond to this kind of gesture.
"I know." She said. "But I wanted to. Do you mind if I join you?" She asked, pulling up a chair.
"Oh, now I see." He said, smirking. "You just wanted to get away from Gilderoy, didn't you?"
"I mean... Maybe that was part of it." She laughed. "But I do have my own classroom, you know. I could have just eaten in there if that was my only concern."
"Well, in any case, thank you for thinking of me." He said, taking a sip of his tea.
"Don't worry about it. I'm relieved you aren't ill. Thanks for letting me eat in here." She said, taking a bite of the bacon sandwich. "I enjoy your company."
Severus was taken aback by this comment. He struggled to understand why Theda was always so friendly towards him.
"Do you not enjoy the company of the other staff?"
"I do enjoy their company. Well, most of them, anyway." She said. "Just not all at once."
He raised an eyebrow. "Because you find it draining? I remember you mentioning something of that nature after the feast your first night here."
"Yeah. It's kind of hard to explain."
"Try. I'm interested now." He said.
"Well... I guess you could say I'm very perceptive of what others are feeling."
"In what way?" He asked. "Can you... see into their minds?"
"No, I wouldn't say that. I've never been trained as a legilimens, but I have wondered if perhaps I have a predisposition for it, or something similar. I can't see what someone is thinking, but I can feel what they're feeling. It can be an insightful skill to have, but the physical toll can be quite overwhelming when I have to feel dozens of conflicting emotions all at once."
"Strange." He said. "I've never heard of anything like that."
"Yeah, I haven't met any other witches or wizards who could relate."
There was a long pause.
"What am I feeling right now?" He asked.
"Hunger." She answered teasingly. "Eat your breakfast!"
"I want to finish my tea first." He said coyly. "I wonder if perhaps there is a way for you to block unwanted emotional input from others."
"You mean like a way to switch my skill on and off?"
"More or less." He said. "If occlumency can be used to shield the mind from legilimens, I wonder if the equivalent exists for your unique condition."
"If it does, I doubt I'll ever cross paths with anyone who would know how to do it." She replied.
"Hmm." He mumbled, taking a bite of his toast.
"Well, I'll let you get back to grading." She said, getting up to leave.
"Thank you again for this." He said, raising his toast from his lips.
"No problem. I'll see you at dinner?"
"I'll be there." He replied, returning his attention to the stack of papers on his desk.
The school day proceeded as normal. Severus returned the harshly-graded papers to the students who groaned and protested in response, which he swiftly put an end to by sentencing several of them to detention. By the end of the day, he was feeling too disgusted with his students to have much of an appetite, but he resolved to make an appearance at dinner anyway, worrying that if he didn't Theda might come directly to his chambers with a platter of food.
When he arrived at dinner, he was greeted by a friendly wave from Theda as he took his seat, which gave him an unfamiliar, though not unpleasant, churning sensation in his stomach.
"How was class, Professor?" Theda asked teasingly.
"Abysmal."
"So, the usual, then?"
"I'm afraid so. And what about you, Professor Desmond? How have your classes been going?"
"Surprisingly well! Because my classes are so small, it actually allows us all the chance to get to know each other. I try to make my classes interactive so I open the floor up to discussion whenever possible and I'm really pleased with everyone's willingness to participate so far."
Severus was staring at her intently as she spoke.
"I'm sorry, did that sound like gloating?" She asked. "I wasn't trying to rub salt in the wound."
"No, not at all." He replied. "I'm actually quite glad to see that you're settling in well."
She smiled and continued on about her classes, although Severus had stopped listening. He was examining her features with a newfound interest. He noticed for the first time that her smile was actually quite becoming. It put him at ease. He felt the stress of his own day begin to dissipate as he returned his attention to the details of how her day had gone.
"I met Harry Potter today."
His body immediately returned to its usual tense state.
"Did you, now?" He asked in a pointed tone. "And what did you think of him?"
"I don't know, I haven't learned very much about him yet. He seems like a good kid, though. I didn't think he'd take much interest in the class but I was pleasantly surprised that he actually asked a few really good questions."
"Hah!" He scoffed. "Mr. Potter may possess the capacity to be a half-decent student, but any promise he shows is thwarted by his exceptional arrogance."
"My my, Severus. Do I detect a hint of envy? Is it possible you're a tiny bit jealous of the boy?"
"Of course not." He said dismissively. "What an absurd notion."
"Don't forget, I can feel whatever you're feeling." She teased.
"Well, in this case, you're wrong. I think I'll skip dinner tonight." He said, rising from his chair. "I'm not hungry."
Before she could respond, he turned and walked away. He instantly regretted his little outburst, but he was too proud to look back at her.
"I shouldn't have spoken to her like that." He thought to himself as he marched through the halls. "Even if she didn't actually sense my true feelings she's certainly aware of them now."
He let out a long sigh.
"I know, Lily. She's been so kind to me today, and now I've just made a fool of myself. I'm not patient like you."
He wanted to turn back, to apologize, to continue listening to her excitedly recount the ins and outs of her day. But he couldn't do it. He was too proud. Too ashamed.
"I'll make it up to her somehow." He thought. Then a thought occurred to him.
He hurriedly made his way straight to the library, his cape billowing behind him.