Over the next few days, Severus continued to avoid Theda, which she was still trying not to take personally, although it was becoming increasingly difficult as the end of the week was drawing closer. In the last five days, they had barely spoken a word to each other. Severus had told her at breakfast the day after she returned that Dumbledore wanted her to sit in on his classes once a week, and they had agreed that they'd start on Friday. She hadn't seen him since, as he'd been skipping every meal and she'd been met with a "do not disturb" sign on his door every time she'd been to check on him.

It was Friday now, and she was feeling anxious about joining him in his class. She arrived a few minutes early, hoping to clear the air, but to her surprise, he wasn't in the classroom. Soon students started filing in and taking their seats, and Severus was still nowhere to be seen.

"Miss Desmond? Are you teaching us today?" Neville asked excitedly as he saw her standing at the front of the class.

"Not quite, Mr. Longbottom." She said, smiling. "I'm here to assist Professor Snape, although I'm not sure where he—"

Just then the door slammed open as Severus came charging through. Without so much as a glance in her direction, he began the class immediately.

"Today we will be making a very simple death cap draught even the most hopeless of you should be able to manage, provided you follow my instructions with the utmost attention to detail."

He shot an accusatory look at Neville Longbottom who sunk into his chair.

"If the name has led you to assume that this is a highly poisonous potion, you'd be correct."

Neville gulped.

"The primary function of this potion, however, is to keep unwanted pests at bay. Spiders, mice, and so on. Typically, one would apply a small amount onto doorways and windowsills with a wire brush, making absolutely sure not to let it come into contact with one's skin as it is extremely corrosive. Do you think you can handle this, Mr. Longbottom, or shall I send for Madame Pomfrey? Perhaps if she leaves now she can make it in time to save at least one of your limbs."

"I-I can handle it, P-Professor Snape." Neville nodded his head unconvincingly.

"You will find the instructions on page 78. You have all been provided with gloves. Do not allow any of the ingredients to come into contact with your skin. If you need assistance you may ask Professor Desmond or myself."

Despite having said this, he immediately went into his office and shut the door. The students did as they were told, meticulously reading the instructions before proceeding with the potion. Everyone except Neville, whom Theda quickly sensed was paralyzed with anxiety.

"Everything alright, Mr. Longbottom?" Theda asked in a reassuring voice.

"I don't know where to start. It all feels like too much."

Theda sighed, relating to this sentiment more than he could know. She looked around the room at the sea of students, feeling a little overwhelmed and hurt that Severus had left her to manage them all on her own despite having known how it affected her.

I-I don't want to make a mistake." He said nervously.

"Calm down, Neville. Let's walk through it together, okay? Now, I believe you've learned a bit about death caps in Herbology, yes?"

"A bit." He said. "They're a mushroom commonly found around the UK and Europe. Th-they tend to grow in clusters near the bases of broadleaf trees."

"That's very good, Neville, but let's try to focus only on what's relevant to the potion. The important thing to remember is that death caps are highly toxic. Even touching them with your hands is dangerous, so let's start by putting on those gloves Professor Snape gave you."

"O-Oh yeah."

"Okay, now that those are on, you need to scrape the gills of the mushrooms off and mash them with a mortar and pestle. I'll let you get started on that while I check on the other students, alright? I'll be back in a few minutes to see how you're doing."

She walked a couple laps around the class, answering a few simple questions and giving feedback. A few minutes later she checked on Neville, who actually seemed to have gained a bit of confidence. He needed a bit more guidance than the other students, but Theda was impressed at how well he seemed to be performing with a bit of encouragement.

"It seems like everyone has completed their potions, correct?" Theda asked as the noise level had started to rise while the students charted amongst themselves. No one objected, so she knocked on Severus' office door.

"Professor Snape, the students are ready for you."

His door swung open as he passed Theda without saying a word. He spent the next 10 minutes examining each student's potions, grading the Gryffindors particularly harshly.

He saved Neville for last, his lips curling into a smug smile as he approached his desk. His smile quickly disappeared after a few seconds, however.

"Mr. Longbottom, the consistency of your draught is thinner than it would be if you had properly ground your death cap gills. And while your textbook clearly states that the finished potion should be a true burgundy, yours is more of a warm scarlet."

Neville lowered his head, clearly dejected.

"Even so," Snape continued, "As much as it pains me to say... This is the most successful potion you've ever produced in my class. It's far from perfect, but it'll earn you a passing grade."

Neville was astonished.

"Th-Thank you, P-Professor Snape!" Neville panted.

"Yes, well don't let it go to your head. The school year has barely begun and there's still plenty of opportunities to— AGHH!"

Neville's face turned completely white. In his excitement, he had accidentally knocked over his cauldron, spilling his potion on Severus' arm.

"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU WRETCHED IMP!" Severus shouted, instinctively clutching his arm before wincing as the potion burned his palm.

"Severus, let me see," Theda said, pulling out her wand. "I can help."

"Don't touch me!" He said, pulling away from her. "I don't need your help!"

With a wave of his wand, the classroom door slammed open.

"Class is dismissed!" He shouted as he ran out, still clutching his burning arm.

The students began gathering their belongings, many of them laughing. Harry and Ron looked particularly pleased as they grabbed their supplies and headed to their next class. Neville, on the other hand, remained in his seat, still processing what had just occurred.

"Neville? Are you alright?" Theda asked.

"I've d-done it now," He stammered. "He's going to kill me. He's actually going to kill me."

"He's not going to kill you. Madame Pomfrey will have his wounds treated and he'll be good as new."

"I'm such an idiot," Neville said, his eyes filled with tears. "He already hates me, now he's going to despise me. I won't survive another 6 years with him!"

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you, Neville. It's going to be alright."

"He does hate me. You can ask anyone. He's been out to get me since my first day. I'm hopelessly incompetent, and now I've almost killed him!"

"First of all, his injuries aren't life-threatening, so you can wipe that thought from your mind, okay? Second of all, it was an accident, and he knows that. Do you think you're the first student to spill a potion on him? I'm sure he's been through his fair share of accidents. It's all part of the job. I'll talk to him, okay? You're not in trouble."

Neville's tears finally came streaming down his face as he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Miss Desmond! Thank you!"

She patted him on the back and helped him pack his supplies before heading out.

"Good afternoon, Poppy. Is Severus here?" Theda asked as she peeked around the hospital wing.

"Oh, no, I sent him back to his chambers. I cleaned and wrapped the wounds but he's going to have some rather nasty scars. The damage goes beyond my scar-diminishing serum's capabilities, I'm afraid."

"Did he seem angry?"

"You mean more than normal? Yes, I'd say so. He was being quite profane in front of the students."

"Oh, I see." She said, thinking about how frightened Neville had been by his outburst and wondering if the students in the hospital wing had felt the same. "Thank you for the update, Poppy. I better go check on him."

"Good luck." She scoffed.

Severus slammed the door behind him with his wand as he entered his chambers. They were dark, damp, and smelled vaguely of smoke and ash. He lit about a dozen half-melted candles, the room's only light source. Letting out a labored sigh, he dropped a stack of papers on the stained coffee table, releasing a cloud of dust in its wake. He grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey and an empty goblet and collapsed on his bed, shoving aside a pile of books.

Although he had spent many nights holed up in his room over the years, it felt different now. He and Theda had been spending nearly every night together since the beginning of the term, and, as much as he was surprised to admit it, her presence had grown to be a comfort to him. Where Severus was impatient, severe, and cold, Theda was kind, understanding, and could melt even his icy exterior.

While they were very different on the surface, Severus couldn't help but feel that they were, in many ways, kindred spirits. There weren't many staff members he considered his intellectual equals, but he never doubted her competence or felt the need to talk down to her. She was interesting and could carry the weight of a conversation long enough to coax him out of his shell. The more time he had spent with her the more he felt his walls slowly coming down, which terrified him.

His hand clenched into a tight fist around the goblet as he thought back on what an ass he'd been to her today, leaving her to teach his class for him while he hid in his office, too cowardly to look her in the eye and explain his sudden change in behavior. Too ashamed to admit that his need to push her away stemmed from his guilt in feeling something for her... for feeling something for anyone other than Lily.

Since her time at the school, he hadn't heard one negative word spoken about her by any of the staff, and yet she chose to spend the majority of her time with him. Why was that? He knew his temperament was intimidating to most people, which is exactly what he wanted. But she had never once seemed phased by the way he carried himself, or his sharp tongue. In fact, she was the one intimidating him.

When he was with Theda, he felt lighter. His palms would sweat, his heart would race, but he felt happier in her presence than he had in many years. No one else had made him feel so seen, so comfortable. Not even Lily.

Lily. The woman he had always loved and would always love. His lifelong companion and best friend. She was the one he'd have gladly died for. She was the one kept alive in his heart all these years. She was the one.

And yet... she was no longer enough. When did that happen?

He had been plagued by thoughts all week about the voice he had heard in his head... The voice he was certain had been Lily's. But was it truly Lily communicating to him from beyond the grave? Or had she merely become the voice of his guilty conscience? What would she say if she were here? If he could explain the way he felt? Would she be angry? Would she fear that Severus would begin to prioritize Theda over Harry? Would she think Theda was just manipulating him for her own gain?

Theda wasn't like that. She saw him for who he really was and didn't turn away. She shared his interests in dark things that would be enough to put off most people. He was sure she understood him far better than Lily ever had. Most of all, she made him feel wanted. As deeply as he still loved Lily, he couldn't deny that she had never once looked at him the way Theda always did.

He thought back to how Lily had reacted when she learned he had pledged himself to the Dark Lord. Any remaining feelings of warmth or friendship she had once felt for him had been forever lost as a result. It seemed so obvious now how foolish he had been as Severus reflected on his childish and misguided attempt to win Lily's attention by gaining power.

Perhaps his desire to win Theda's heart was equally foolish. There was no way she would want someone like him. These feelings were a waste of his time, and the thought of ever discussing them with her was enough to make him feel sick.

Maybe it was for the best that these things remain unsaid. Severus could never be happy with her, or any woman. His fate was sealed the day he failed to save Lily from being murdered. A lifetime alone, unloved, eternally bound to the woman who had never returned his affections. This was his punishment and the only fate he deserved.

Theda made her way back down to the dungeons, stopping at the kitchens along the way to grab some dinner for him. She knocked at his door but there was no answer.

"Severus?"

No answer.

"Severus, are you alright?"

Still no answer.

"I can come back later. I just wanted to see if you needed any—"

The door slowly creaked open, as Severus stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the dim candlelight from within his room.

"I'm fine, Miss Desmond. You can go."

"I'm glad to hear it. I'll leave if you want me to, but I brought you some dinner. Do you mind if I come in for just a minute? There's quite a bit for me to fish out of my bag. I'll leave it in your kitchen and then I'll go."

Severus paused for a moment, then, knowing how persistent Theda could be, he uttered a resigned "Fine."

He opened the door wide enough for her to slip inside. She'd never been in his chambers before, and as she entered she looked around, taking it all in. It was dark, but with all the time she spent in the darkroom her eyes quickly acclimated. The lack of light didn't hinder her from spotting the haphazardly stacked piles of books and papers strewn about. It wasn't dirty, just unorganized, but she actually thought it was quite cozy.

"I brought you some soup because that's what I always want when I'm not feeling well... although, I know this isn't the same as a sore throat or the flu, so I also brought some solid food in case the soup wouldn't be filling enough. I also brought tea and wine." She said, carefully laying everything on the kitchen counter. "How are your wounds?"

"They hurt like hell."

"I had a feeling they would still be causing quite a bit of pain based on what Poppy told me."

"You went to the hospital wing?"

"Of course, I was looking for you. I was worried."

Severus cast his eyes down, looking ashamed.

"I have something that might be worth trying. It's a potion my grandma invented. Well, more of a salve, really. I always keep a bottle of it on me in case of emergencies." She rifled through her bag, pulling out a small metal bottle that was badly dented.

"What is it?" He asked, looking hesitant.

"She called it 'balm of cicana'. It's too complex of a recipe for me to remember by heart, but I can give you the ingredient list if you end up liking it and want to make some. Let's just start by seeing if it helps." She said, holding out her open hand.

He reluctantly placed his bandaged hand in hers. She gingerly unwrapped it, revealing a very painful-looking burn. The wound was clean but very inflamed.

"The next time I see Longbottom he'll wish he'd never set foot in my class." He muttered angrily.

"I think he already does." Said Theda. "That poor boy is terrified of you."

"He hasn't seen anything yet."

"Severus, you know as well as I do that it was an accident."

"Accidents are nothing more than the result of carelessness. If he wasn't such a dunce and had some regard for those around him this wouldn't have happened."

"Severus, you're being cruel."

"And what if I am? That shouldn't surprise you. I'm a cruel person."

"No, you aren't."

She poured two drops of the potion over the wound, causing him to flinch as the potion made a sizzling noise, becoming very hot. A moment later though, his pained expression turned to relief as Theda saw the wound beginning to heal over. After about ten seconds, it was completely gone.

"There." She said, feeling accomplished. "Your arm next."

"I'll do it myself." He said, taking the vial from her.

"Please don't punish the boy, Severus. The guilt and the fear are punishment enough."

He handed her the vial as he rolled his sleeve back down.

"Why are you here, Miss Desmond?" He asked.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Did you come here on behalf of Mr. Longbottom? To try to butter me up by bringing me food and grandma's special potions in hopes that I'll go easy on him? He's a menace, and he's lucky it was me and not one of the other students who got sent to the hospital wing. He has to learn to be more careful, for the safety of his classmates."

"I didn't come here just to talk about Neville, although I do think you're being far too harsh with him. I'm not going to just sit by and let you torture the poor child."

He scoffed but said nothing.

"I came here because I was worried about you. Why didn't you let me help you when we were in your class? I could have saved you the trip to the hospital wing."

"I wasn't going to be made a fool of in my own class." He said harshly.

"Ohh, now I understand." She said, almost amused. "Severus, that is so childish. You would rather subject yourself to agonizing pain than let another teacher help you in front of your students?"

"You don't understand. If you show even a hint of weakness in front of these children they'll lose all their respect for you."

Theda rolled her eyes.

"Accepting help from others isn't a sign of weakness. If the roles had been reversed and you had come to my aid in front of my students I would have had no qualms about letting you help me."

"That's precisely why the students don't respect you. They may like you, but they don't respect you."

"I think you're wrong. The students do respect me. I think you're confusing respect with fear."

He said nothing.

"You may have the students buying your act, Severus, but you can't fool me. You can pretend that you're heartless and cruel and that you have no need for anyone but yourself. But I can see exactly where that stems from, and it's not strength. It's insecurity."

"You don't know what you're talking about." He said defensively.

"Don't I? How many times do I need to remind you that I can feel everything you feel? I can feel the shame and embarrassment emanating from you as we speak."

"If you're so emotionally intelligent you would have picked up on the fact that I've been giving you the cold shoulder for days. You obviously didn't, or you wouldn't be here. Maybe you're not as perceptive as you think you are. Even the most oblivious people would have taken the hint."

"You think I haven't noticed?" She laughed incredulously. "Oh, I'm well aware that you've been avoiding me. You've been trying to convince yourself that you're just fine by yourself. That you don't need me, or anyone else for that matter. Guess what? I call bullshit. You're no different from anyone else, Severus. None of us were meant to live that way."

"I've been solitary all my life." He said. "And I've gotten by just fine."

"I've spent most of my life alone as well, and you know what? It's been miserable. But ever since we started getting to know each other I've been much happier. Are you going to try to tell me you don't feel the same?"

Severus was silent.

"Look," She continued, "When are you going to just accept that we're friends? I feel like every time we get to know each other a little better you panic and try to push me away. Doesn't that get exhausting?"

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. "You're right."

"Do you not trust me?" She asked.

"Trusting people does not come naturally to me. And the truth is, I still don't understand why you've formed an attachment to me. What do you get from this friendship?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

"I do."

"Very well. Since I arrived here, you've been more of a friend to me than anyone else. You've shown me around the school. You've given me advice. You've done research on my behalf and helped me unravel secrets from my past. You've offered to help me train. You've been a listening ear. You've gone out of your way for me on more than one occasion and I've tried my best to do the same for you whenever possible. Is that not what friendship is?"

Once again, he said nothing.

"You never give yourself enough credit, Severus. You're a better person than you think you are."

"Hmm." He mumbled, clearly uncomfortable with receiving any kind of praise.

"I should go." She said, packing her vial back into her bag. "But for what it's worth, I want you to know that, whether you decide to push me away or not, I think of you as my friend. That being said, you'll save us both a lot of trouble if you stop resisting and just accept that I like you and that I want you in my life."

He looked surprised by how direct she was being.

"I trust you. I hope you'll eventually see that you can trust me as well." She said as she made her way to the door, Severus following close behind her.

"Thank you... umm, for the food. And for the potion." He said. "I'm sorry for the way I've been recently."

"Don't worry about it." She responded. "So are we good?"

"...We're good."

"Okay then. Clean slate." She smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, one more thing." She said, stepping back into the room. "You're not really going to punish Neville for this, are you?"

"Well, I can't just pretend it didn't happen! He gave me severe burns!"

"Okay, but can you let him off easy? For me? I healed your burns!"

He let out an exasperated sigh.

"How about... Three nights of detention?"

"One." She argued.

"Two."

"Fine. Two nights of detention, and he gets to spend them with me." She insisted.

"Absolutely not! You're too soft. What good is detention with you going to do him?"

"I'll be sure the lesson sinks in, don't you worry. Plus, you don't want to spend two nights with him, do you? If you think about it, I'm really doing you a favor."

"Hmm." He thought. "You make a good point. Alright, fine. Two nights of detention with you. But in exchange, you have to give me the recipe for that balm of cicana."

"Deal. I'll bring it by tomorrow night."

"Very well. Good night, Miss Desmond."

Before he could close the door on her she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly against her chest, and softly kissed him on the cheek.

"Good night, Severus."