Chapter 10 — The Funeral

Bella

I was reading Macbeth for the thousandth time and Edward was playing the piano softly in the other room when my phone began ringing. I answered it halfway through the first ring although my phone was halfway across the room. I saw it was Alice. She was still on vacation with Jasper and wasn't due to be back for another week.

"Hey Alice, what's up?" I answered.

"Hey Bella," said Alice, sighing. She sounded sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Is it Renesmee? Did you see her yet?"

"Renesmee? Yeah we stopped by yesterday and saw her. She's fine. I just wanted to call and let you know… I had a vision. About Charlie. He's— he passed away."

I inhaled sharply. Edward was at my side instantly, his hand around my waist.

"Oh," I said. "Thank you for telling me, Alice."

"Of course," said Alice. "I'm so, so sorry for your loss, Bella. We both are."

"Thank you," I said. "Well, I hope you guys are enjoying your trip."

"We are," said Alice. "Take care, Bella."

She hung up and I turned to face Edward who embraced me.

"I'm so sorry, my love," he murmured into my head.

I nodded, but didn't say anything. I knew that I had said my goodbyes to Charlie a long time ago when we had to flee Forks with Renesmee 40 years before. But his death felt so final — a finality I would never truly understand in my immortal body.

After I had assured Edward that I was all right and he went back to playing piano, I walked over to my laptop and searched for the obituaries in Forks. His came up immediately:

"Charles (Charlie) Swan passed away in his sleep at the age of 94 on Saturday, March 25th. An outstanding member of the community, Charlie was the police chief of Forks for 45 years before retiring at the age of 65. He is predeceased by his wife, Susan Clearwater, and his daughter, Isabella Swan. He is survived by his stepchildren, Leah and Seth Clearwater, and his grandchildren, Nicolas, Allison, Michael, and Jordan. A funeral service will be held at the Pierce Funeral Home in Forks on Monday, March 27th."

Of course there could be no tears, but my throat felt painfully tight as I read the obituary. On the one hand, I was so glad he had found solace in Sue and that he'd gotten a second chance at family life. But on the other hand, it made me shiver to see my name, like a ghost, beside his late wife's. And his grandchildren… he had never gotten to know Renesmee. How he would have loved her.

"I want to go to the funeral," I said to Edward from across the room.

"Bella, we can't—"

"I know it's risky, but it's in Forks. We'll lay low in the back. No one will notice us."

"Except for all the werewolves — or former werewolves — in attendance," said Edward, scanning the obituary over my shoulder.

"And what can they do in front of all those people?" I said. "Please, Edward. I need to say goodbye."

Renesmee

Jacob and I arrived at Charlie's funeral together. I had never been to a funeral before. We greeted and gave our condolences to the Clearwaters in the family line. Leah, once again, looked at me with a strange, knowing look in her eyes. After that, we sat in cushioned chairs in the old, musty room, staring at a vase and a framed photo of Charlie from his wedding to his second wife. I found myself grieving, truly grieving, even though I had really never known this man. I grieved the life my mother should have had, with her father in her life always. I grieved the childhood I could have had as a normal child, with this kindly man in my life.

"Excuse me," I said to Jacob at one point, feeling tears welling in my eyes.

I walked to the bathroom. Inside, I stood in front of the sinks, wiping my eyes with a rough paper towel. I felt vibrations on the floor and knew someone else was coming in. I tried to compose myself as Leah walked through the door.

"Well," she said. "I guess I should say I'm sorry for your loss."

I said nothing, looking at her reflection behind me in the mirror.

"I suppose this must be a real shock for you," Leah went on. "You probably haven't experienced much loss in your life, Renesmee."

My eyes widened as she approached the sink to face me.

"I'll never forget that name," said Leah, shaking her head. "I thought it was so stupid when your mother came up with it. But then again, she was full of stupid decisions."

"How did you know my mother?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Huh," said Leah. "So they didn't give you any of the story of your birth? You're completely clueless?"

"I know we couldn't stay in Forks after I was born," I said, my voice low, "because of the werewolves that were after my family."

Leah snorted. "You couldn't stay because your family broke the treaty. But I'm not here to talk about any of that."

She glared at me and I could almost see the shadow of the wolf she used to be.

"Jacob's been through hell," she said, "and I don't want to see him go through it again. So you need to tell him the truth before he gets in any deeper."

"I'm trying to find a way," I said quietly. "But I know he'll hate me when I tell him. He hates vampires."

Leah shrugged. "Better to get it over with then."

"Did… did Jacob know my mother?" I asked.

Leah laughed a harsh, bark-like laugh.

"Yes," she said. "Jacob and Bella were best friends — if you can call their fucked up relationship a friendship. Jacob was madly in love with her. He never got over your mother. He's been mourning her for decades."

It felt as though the ground beneath my feet was being pulled out from underneath me. I clutched the counter for support.

"I can't believe how fucking clueless they left you," said Leah. "None of the backstory. I suppose they just wanted to pretend like it never happened. But it did. And they left absolute destruction in their wake."