Chapter 11 - Monsters

Nessie had been gone for over 10 minutes. I was beginning to worry. She had seemed off as she went to the bathroom. I was just about to get up to look for her when a scent hit me so hard my eyes began to water. Vampires. Here at Charlie's funeral. I turned in the direction of the scent and a shiver ran down my spine as I saw them. They were in the back, dressed all in black. They seemed to blend in with the walls, not desiring to be seen. A male, all too horribly familiar to me, was holding the hand of a beautiful female with long dark hair. She had her other delicate, pale hand clutched over her mouth, as though suppressing a sob.

Bella.

But no, not Bella. Her bloodsucker changeling. What the hell were they doing here? I could not allow them to stay, not here in a room full of humans. I was the last one to protect them all.

I stood up and strode towards them, my fists clenched against the urge to phase right here in the funeral parlor. I spoke to Edward, my voice so low no human near would hear it.

"Outside. Now."

I heard Edward sigh and then the two of them followed. I hated to have them behind me, but logically I knew they would do nothing. I walked all the way to the edge of the cemetery where there was nothing but woods beyond. Then I turned to face them.

To see Bella like this hurt less than I thought it would. Just an old ache, nothing compared to what it would have been before.

"Why are you here?" I growled.

"Who was that? Who were you just thinking of?" Edward said, ignoring my question and looking troubled.

"Why do you think?" said Bella, her voice silkier than I remembered but with the same sarcastic edge. "To attend my father's funeral."

I snorted. "Nice of you to show up after he's dead. That's a great help. Also," I turned to Edward, "stay out of my head."

"You know why we had to stay away," said Bella. "Charlie couldn't know about us. It was too dangerous for him."

"Yeah, well it's too dangerous for you to be near all these people," I retorted. "So leave."

"You never stopped phasing," said Bella.

"Not yet," I said. "But that's really none of your—"

Suddenly all three of us caught a scent in the air. The unique and wonderful scent of Nessie. We all turned to look at her, striding towards us. Every fiber of my being went into protection mode. I could not let vampires near her again—

"No!" Edward suddenly shouted, turning to look at me in horror. "What did you do, dog?"

"Renesmee," Bella said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

Renesmee? Renesmee? For a moment, my brain moved sluggishly, trying to understand why that name sounded familiar, why that name brought back such pain, such hatred, and why, beyond anything else, was Bella calling Nessie by that name? Then it clicked into place. I felt myself falling, falling away from the earth. Nessie was different, not because she was a shape-shifter or a werewolf, but because she was another unnatural being. A half-vampire. The half-vampire that killed Bella.

"I'd introduce you," she said, in a hollow, dead sort of voice, "but I hear from Leah that you all know each other already."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. This wasn't happening. This was a nightmare.

"I was going to tell you," said Nessie, "what I was. Leah guessed. She knew. She guessed what my nickname was short for. She saw how much I looked like my mother. I'm surprised you didn't guess. But maybe you wanted me to look like her, anyway. Leah says you're in love with her. That you never got over her."

I felt bile rising in my throat.

"Renesmee, what's going on?" asked Bella, bewildered. "Do you… do you know Jacob?"

"Not as well as you, apparently," said Nessie, through gritted teeth.

"I knew Jacob a long time ago," said Bella slowly. "How did you two even meet?"

"Dog park," we both said automatically.

"You know," continued Nessie, shaking slightly, "that thing that makes me feel human for a little while."

"You're not human," I heard myself saying.

Nessie looked stung, but said, "yeah, no shit. And neither are you."

"You're— you—"

An image of Bella, bloody and skeletal, holding a gorey mass that was a baby to her body. The baby bit her. Edward took it away. In reality, I saw Edward wince as these memories raced through his head too. Then, I turned and vomited into the woods.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Nessie demanded. "Shouldn't it be me that's angry? I mean, you were in love with my mother. Who isn't? But I was kind of hoping you'd just like me for me—"

"I was there the day you were born," I said, shaking all over. "I was there the day you killed Bella."

Edward growled, but Nessie cut him off.

"'Killed'?" Nessie repeated. "She's right here, Jacob."

Nessie and I stared at each other for a moment, then she spoke again, her voice quiet.

"Or maybe you blame me for ruining any chance you had with her, huh?"

I couldn't deny it. I looked away, the old heartache of Bella colliding with this new heartache of realizing that happiness with Nessie was impossible.

"Do you still love her?" Nessie asked.

I shook my head.

"Well, that's something," said Nessie, her voice brittle. "Do you still love me, knowing what I am?"

I felt myself nodding and I heard Edward snort.

"He can't help that he loves you, Renesmee," he said, angrily. "It's genetics. He's imprinted on you. Now, he has no choice."

"Jacob imprinted?" exclaimed Bella. "On Renesmee?"

"Imprint?" Nessie whispered. "What? Like a… like a bird or something?"

"Like the dog he is," growled Edward.

"So if it was up to you," Nessie said slowly. "You wouldn't love me. I would just be another vampire to you."

I didn't answer. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I was shaking all over as grief and shock bombarded me. I could see tears rolling down Nessie's pale face. I longed to reach out, to touch her. But I couldn't do it.

"Well," she said. "None of it really matters then, does it? Because I certainly can't stop loving you and, less romantically, you can't stop loving me either. So we have to be together. Right?"

"I can't be with you, Nessie," I said hoarsely, avoiding her eyes. "It doesn't work. I'm sorry."

Then, before I could do or say anything else, I ran from them — the little family — and into the woods. I pulled my clothes off and phased as soon as I could. I could hear Nessie calling after me. I felt I would die if I didn't turn around and go to her. And yet, I kept running. I wouldn't stop.