Chapter 21 — Surprise

Jacob

The next night we met back at the clearing for more training. Alice continued to say that the crazy vampire mad-scientist hadn't made a decision yet, but that he was still close by. Meanwhile, Ally was adjusting to the pack better than anyone. She was fast, focused, and motivated. As we settled into our rolls, I felt Ally become my Beta. She was a natural at it. The only problem was her and Nick fighting and continuously exploding out of their clothes when sibling rivalry got the best of them. Leah was out of her mind with the effort of taking care of two teenage werewolves.

We arrived early and I reviewed the fight scenes in my head to help them envision the attack. Nick would be moving up to fight Emmett today. Jordan was still fighting Bella. Meanwhile, Ally would be starting with Nahuel.

The Cullens arrived soon after. I saw Nessie and my heart broke all over again as I watched her laughing with Nahuel.

"Ally, that's who you're fighting," I thought.

Out of nowhere I was hit with a wave of intense, overwhelming emotion. But it wasn't my own.

"What the fuck?" thought Nick as Ally's world turned upside down. She was staring at Nahuel as if her entire life depended on keeping him in her sights. She moved forward slowly, barely registering what she was doing.

Edward turned, hearing her thoughts, too. He looked shocked.

"What is it?" asked Bella.

"Ally, the new wolf," Edward said, "she's imprinted on Nahuel."

I saw Nessie's mouth fall open in surprise.

"What?" said Nahuel, clearly confused.

"That werewolf. She imprinted on you," said Edward, pointing to Ally.

"I don't understand… imprinting," said Nahuel, but he was staring at Ally, too.

"What's happening?" thought Ally, vaguely.

"You're imprinting," I told her.

"On a half-vampire," thought Nick.

"I don't care," thought Ally and approached him, nudging him tenderly in the chest.

"Well, I guess Ally's not fighting Nahuel," thought Jordan.

Ally did practice with Bella, however. Somehow her imprinting seemed to make her an even stronger fighter than the other two and she quickly moved up to Emmett, Blondie, Alice, and even Jasper.

Nessie looked (there was no other word for it) miserable at the turn of events. Nahuel stared at the gray and white wolf for the entire night and didn't look at her once. After a while, I saw Nessie backing away into the woods. I could feel my body pulling me towards Nessie. Every cell screamed at me to go after her. I heard Leah's voice in my head. I think you've gotten so used to being unhappy that you don't even know how to be happy anymore.

"I'll be back," I thought to my pack. "Just keep focused and don't do anything stupid."

I ran after Nessie. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but he did not come after me. It took me a while to catch up. Apparently after she'd backed slowly behind the tree line she'd taken off running. A few miles into the woods she was sitting on a large boulder, staring out in the opposite direction.

I phased and pulled on my shorts.

"Ness—"

"What?" she snapped. "Why did you follow me? What's the point?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," I said.

She snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Is it so hard to believe that, even though we can't be together, I still care about you?" I said.

"And who is it who's saying we can't be together again?" said Nessie, finally turning to face me. "Oh right, that would be you."

I didn't know what to say. Of course she was right. It was my fault. All my fault.

"It's so easy for them," said Nessie and I was surprised to see tears falling from her chocolate brown eyes. "Instantly. Ally doesn't have a problem with the fact that Nahuel is half-vampire. She can just love him. But you? Oh no. You'd rather us both spend the rest of eternity miserable."

"Nessie," I said, weakly.

"Don't call me that," she snapped. "My name is Renesmee. Oh, and by the way, thanks for giving me absolutely no chance to practice, by the way. I'm not some fragile little human. You should know that better than anyone."

A small shiver rippled through my body as I remembered the strength of her embrace, how she'd clawed at my back as I thrusted inside her.

"You're right," I said in a low voice. "I do know how strong you are. But that's not why I stopped my pack from training with you. I just… couldn't bear to see you from that point of view. The target to be attacked. To be killed. I see everything they do. I… I couldn't bear it."

She stared at me, her face screwed up in anger, eyes still full of tears. Then she let out a mangled cry of frustration.

"What am I supposed to do with you, Jacob? You say these things, you feel these things, and yet you won't just be with me."

She marched towards me and grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me slightly. She definitely was strong. I wouldn't be surprised if I had bruises after.

"Ouch, Ness— Renesmee," I said, her name landing awkwardly on my tongue. "I get it, you're strong."

"You keep saying you love me," she cried. "But if you loved me, you'd want me to be happy."

"I do," I said, my voice breaking. "But how could you be happy with me?"

There it was. The truth. It wasn't the fact that she was a half-vampire or even that her mother was Bella and her father was Edward. It was that I couldn't make her happy. I carried so much baggage in the weight of my past, that I couldn't look at her without being visited by the nightmares of her birth, that I couldn't worship every single aspect of her.

"I'm starting to wonder," she said, stepping back, her voice shaking, "how I was ever happy with you."

She ran away then and, this time, I did not follow.

When I phased again, the training was over so I ran back home. I phased halfway there, walking the rest of the way. I had no desire to go home.

If I had been in wolf form, I might have smelled the vampire a lot sooner, might have sensed his presence before. As it was, I was so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't catch the scent until I was almost at my house.

This is it, I was thinking, I'm going to Nessie. I'm begging for forgiveness. I don't care about anything else. I'll work everyday to be enough for her, to love her the way she deserves.

Then it hit me. The wave of sickeningly sweet vampire scent. From my home.

"Hello, my young wolf friend," said a low voice from my home. "Why don't you come inside. In your human form, please."

I obeyed. I wasn't sure why. I could take him in my human form, anyway, couldn't I? What was the point of phasing? I felt no desire to.

"Well, look at you," said the pale, white-haired vampire standing in my living room. "What a specimen of muscle. I am sorry about this pinch."

In a swift movement a needle was in my back. I cried out and fell to the floor.

"Elephant tranquilizer," said the bloodsucker. "I think that should be enough, don't you?"

"No," I groaned, but already the world was fading away to the size of a pinprick. "Nessie…"

Then I knew no more.