Momonga felt as if something was off. Comically off, almost, as he wasn't logged out when Yggdrasil ended.
So, naturally, he thinks of a way to test out if Yggdrasil has actually ended or if he was suddenly put into a new world.
Which was, obviously, to test out the anti-R18 system.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-lewd item. I haven't used this since Peroroncino was last online."
The anti-lewd item could be used to prevent his character from being banned off the servers when he performed lewd acts. Of course, if the item was used, it would tell him that a charge of that item was used.
The last time he had to use it was when Peroroncino gave him an R18 book and had to quickly pull it out to not get banned.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Momonga grabs Albedo's tits.
Momonga stared quizzically at the mirror.
Apparently, there were a bunch of humans killing each other for no apparent reason. Luckily, he didn't seem to be too upset by the carnage because of his racial skill. This saves him from having to use his anti-feelings item, which he hasn't used since the Emperor's Groove expansion.
As he was about to just leave, though, he caught a glimpse of Sebas staring at him with the same gaze that Touch Me used to.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-depression item. I haven't used this since the Inventory Purchase patch."
Back in the day, inventory slots could be gained just by leveling up tailoring professions and creating bigger and bigger bags. But then the developers at Yggdrasil decided that they could monetize the inventory, and scrapped the bags for slots where you had to pay for each slot above a certain limit. So Momonga had to use the anti-depression item to keep himself happy for a time.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The knights in front of Momonga looked pitifully weak. In fact, Momonga could probably kill them if he looked at them too scarily.
Though, it never hurts to be safe.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-human item. I haven't used this since the Doppelganger Invasion patch."
Back in the Doppelganger Invasion patch, doppelgangers used to disguise themselves as humans, and it was getting pretty difficult to tell who the humans were and who the doppelgangers were. So, the anti-human item was created so Ainz Ooal Gown could kill humans without killing the doppelgangers, because doppelgangers did nothing wrong.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Momonga activated the item, and all the humans in front of him died.
Except for the two kids, obviously. Who now needs protection…
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-damage item. I haven't used this since the Megacorp Crossover patch."
"Angels! Kill him!" The weirdly dressed group of mages shouted out.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-angel item. I haven't used this since the Sleepy Lagoon patch."
There was one time where Ainz Ooal Gown got killed by Seraphim on a bad day. Well, actually, everyone except Momonga himself got killed by Seraphim on a bad day. Momonga actually used his anti-dying item, which he hasn't used since the Palgor's Tomb patch.
But after that, Ainz Ooal Gown made an anti-angel item for the sole purpose of making sure that didn't happen again.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
After using the item, every one of the angels died, and Nigun fearfully asked, "Who… Who are you?"
"I am-" Then, Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-monologuing item. I haven't used this since the Baja patch."
He was about to start monologuing about his evil plans, luckily, he had an item to stop him from speaking.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
He quickly decided to just kill everyone.
The next time Momonga had to resort to an item, it was after he had beaten up some old necromancers and ended up with a sentient item.
"Oh! Lord of the undead!" The weird orb cried out, "Please, use me as you see fit!"
Momonga really did not like it when weird orbs talked to him, therefore, he did the only thing he could've done at this moment.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-sentience item. I haven't used this since the Battle for Yggdrasil expansion."
There used to be an item that was known for being pretty annoying because it spoke. And it was a really good item, so it was notorious for causing people to suffer from PTSD from its voice. Which is why the anti-sentience item was created, which muted items from speaking.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The weird orb tried to speak, but it could not scream. Just as Momonga enjoyed it.
Looking at the brainwashed Shalltear, Momonga didn't feel as if he was worried.
It felt as though he had already tread this path. As if no matter what happened, he was destined to win.
It was a most disconcerting feeling. He felt as if fate had laid down a path he had to walk. And that simply can't be.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-canon item, I haven't used this since the Dawn of Ancients expansion."
The last time he had to use this, he had to make sure that the expansion was actually good, because the Dawn of Ancients expansion was terrible.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
After activating the item, Momonga felt much more free. Yes, now he was no longer restrained by anything.
Now, he has to beat Shalltear, so that he can truly walk a new road.
"Ah, yes, my anti-vampire item. I haven't used this since the beginning of the game."
Momonga, who was now called Ainz Ooal Gown for some reason he couldn't quite remember.
Actually, wait, he had an item for that.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-forgetting item, I haven't used this since the Fog of Panda Land expansion."
Momonga forgot the birthday of one of his friends once, so he had to make this item up on the spot.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Using the item, Momonga remembered that he named himself Ainz Ooal Gown because he wanted to spread the name of the guild just in case his other guildmates arrived here.
That's pretty good.
Anyhow, he was about to enter his bedroom for some quality self-care, and once he opened the door…
Ah, that was Albedo in his bed.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-succubus item. I haven't used this since the Spires of Hell patch."
The last time he used this, a succubus player was about to get him banned from the game using her body to try and trigger R18 rules. Fortunately, he had this on him to protect him then.
It's the perfect item for this situation.
Albedo was suddenly flung out his room, which Momonga expertly sidestepped using his own skill, and he calmly entered the room which could no longer be accessed by Albedo.
Demiurge looked expectantly at Momonga.
Demiurge had just unleashed 6 paragraphs of information onto Momonga, and he had no idea how to process it all.
Momonga really tried to get it, but Demiurge was just too smart for him to handle.
Luckily, he had just the thing.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-dumb item. I haven't used this since the Catastrophe expansion."
The last time he had to use this, the entire guild thought he had the plan to come out on top against a difficult raid boss. Luckily, he had this item on him and he ended up actually having a good plan.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Using the item, Momonga immediately understood the situation and Momonga immediately replied, "Demiurge, please do not start farming humans."
Momonga was carrying around his staff of Ainz Ooal Gown, mostly because he wanted to think about the good old days.
Which is why it was really inconvenient when he accidentally walked into somewhere he couldn't quite tell.
Actually, how did he end up in a cave?
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-getting-lost item, I haven't used this one since the Edo patch."
There was one time that Momonga had gotten lost in Midgard and ended up in the #4 guild's base. Luckily, he had this on him which allowed him to go back.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The item tells him that he should be heading back, so naturally, he starts heading back.
Which is when he encounters a really weird undead dragon.
"I AM CURE ELIM! TREMBLE BENEATH ME, SKELETON!" Cure Elim shouted out.
Momonga would've blinked if he could, but unfortunately, he was a skeleton, so he couldn't blink.
Actually…
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-anti-blinking item, I haven't used this one since the Calamitas' Remain expansion."
The last time he had to use this, Bukubukuchagama said something so unbelievably stupid that he had to physically blink to process it.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
"SKELETON! YOU DARE IGNORE ME?!" Cure Elim shouted out as Momonga blinked.
Cure Elim suddenly looked confused, "Skeleton, how did you blink like that?"
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-undead item, I haven't used this one since the Nidhoggr's Fall patch."
Back in the day, Nidhoggr was the final boss of Yggdrasil, and he was technically an undead type monster. Meaning that this item got pretty far in Nidhoggr's health bar.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Momonga activated the item, and Cure Elim suddenly began to disintegrate.
Cure Elim tried to attack back, but Momonga had just usen his anti-getting-attacked item, which he hasn't used since the Warlords of Nidavellir expansion.
Cure Elim finally died, and Momonga continued to use his anti-getting-lost item to go back to Nazarick.
A random beastman warrior stood in front of Momonga, proudly boasting, "Heh! My staff of knocking has been used for generations to send the unworthy flying across the horizon! You think you can defeat me?!"
Yes, Momonga recognized that weapon. It was the one that the devs put in as a joke to send lower level characters flying.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-knockback item. I haven't used this since the Knockout Ring patch."
Back in the days of the brawler's guild, there was a type of arena that was like bumper carts, and this item really helped out a lot for not getting knocked back.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The random beastman warrior tried to attack Momonga, but he couldn't be knocked back because of his anti-knockback item.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-equality item. I haven't used this since the Insect Swarm patch."
Back in the day, this item was used to kill players not of the same race as the user.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The beastman warrior was sent flying through the sky.
"Your rampage has gone on for far too long, Ainz Ooal Gown," The Platinum Dragon Lord declared, his body getting ready to attack, "I shall put a stop to you now!"
Momonga wasn't sure how he ended up in this situation, but it was probably fine.
Well, he needed to make sure that nothing serious was actually happening first, of course.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-serious item. I haven't used this since the Genshin patch."
Back in the day, there was a crossover patch, and they were actually trying to make it serious. So Momonga had used this item to make it not serious anymore.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Within an instant, the situation became immediately less serious, and thus less dangerous.
The Platinum Dragon Lord breathed fire at Momonga, but luckily he had his anti-fire item, which he hasn't used since the Rage of The Horde patch.
Now, how will he defeat him…? Ah, that's right.
Momonga pulls out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-dragon item, I haven't used this since the Valkyrie's Downfall expansion.
Back in the day, there used to be a really scary robot dragon that scared the pants off of Momonga, so he had to use his anti-dragon world item to kill it.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The item activates in a bright flash of light, and the Platinum Dragon Lord disappears.
If it were a more serious situation, he might've lived. But obviously because of Momonga's anti-serious item, he didn't.
Momonga decided to call it a day and go home.
The grand council of the Slane Theocracy unveiled their greatest weapon yet, a world item that was specfically made to kill Momonga himself.
Yes, that was literally its only effect.
"It's the end! Ainz Ooal Gown!" One of the fancier dressed members shouted out, unleashing the power of the world item on Momonga.
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-world-item item. I haven't used this since the Developer's Special patch."
Back in the day, the developers put themselves into the game to kill Momonga, using a bunch of world items to do so. Luckily, he had obtained the rare anti-world-item item, which saved him from that particular scenario.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The world item did absolutely nothing.
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-theocracy item. I haven't used this since the intergalactic patch."
There used to be a theocracy back in the day, but Momonga didn't like it so he ended up erasing it using this item.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Naturally, this theocracy gets erased as well.
"Hey, you look pretty strong," Goku said, standing in front of Nazarick, "Why don't we fight?"
Sukuna, the King of Curses, didn't look too impressed, "You're the brat who stole my basket of techniques? You're not even using it right."
Momonga hummed. He really didn't like this situation. If only he had an item specifically for this situation…
Oh! That's right!
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-crossover item. I haven't used this since the Heian expansion."
The Heian expansion was widely hailed as the golden age of gaming. It was there that Momonga found the anti-crossover item, because everyone tried copying other IPs for their NPCs and Momonga got tired of it.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Goku & Sukuna activated their powers and sent them straight towards Momonga, but then Momonga activated his anti-crossover item, and they both suddenly disappeared.
"Phew, that was close," Momonga remarked, smiling using his anti-anti-smiling item from the Midas' Touch patch, "You two were magnificent, Goku, Sukuna. I shall never forget you as long as I live."
"Are you Skryb because you're a self insert, or are you the self insert because you are Skryb?" Momonga asked the robot-dragon-samurai demon in front of him.
Skryb had rudely crashed into Nazarick and declared that he would beat the potential man. Which, Momonga supposed would be him.
"I am a self insert because I am Skryb," Skryb answered, taking an offensive position, "Now, let us fight!"
Well, this was a tricky situation. Just by looking at the type of self-insert Momonga was going up against, he could tell that Skryb was a world enemy with the job classes of a world disaster and world champion using the racial classes of a caloric golem.
Luckily, Momonga had just the thing.
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah yes, my anti-self-insert item. I haven't used this since the Modern Era patch."
There used to be this really annoying self insert in that patch that used to kill everything that it went up against. But luckily, Momonga had this on him, so he was perfectly safe and killed the self insert.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The item activated, surrounding Skryb in a flash of light.
But Skryb stood unfazed, "Ah, yes, my anti-anti-self-insert item. I haven't used this since last night."
Momonga was very surprised that Skryb had actually had an item to defend against his item. But Momonga supposed it wouldn't be a true self-insert without such a thing.
Fortunately, Momonga also had an item for this situation.
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah yes, my anti-invincibility item. I haven't used this since the Trials of Destiny expansion."
Skryb pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah yes, my anti-debuff item. I haven't used this since Developer Commentary."
Momonga, fortunately, had a backup plan to his backup plan.
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah yes, my anti-item item. I haven't used this since the day Jesus Christ was added into Yggdrasil."
There used to be another really annoying player who had items upon items. But Momonga got fed up with him, so he created the anti-item item to blast him away.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Skryb tried to pull out something from his inventory, but he failed.
Skryb's eyes widened as Momonga used his anti-edgy item, which he hasn't used since the Rise of The No-No Germans patch.
As Skryb was being obliterated, he shouted out in a fit of desperation, "WALLAHI! I'M GETTING MY ASS BEAT! WITH THIS TREASURE I SUMMON! THE AUTHOR! SKRYB-SAMA! SAVE ME!"
From the skies, a divine trash can came from the heavens.
It declared, "Momonga, you are now gay."
An absolutely lethal blow.
For perhaps anyone else.
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah yes, my anti-homosexual item. I haven't used this since last night- I mean, the Early Access."
Momonga was no longer homosexual, meaning now he had his full power unlocked.
Skryb, knowing he was doomed if he didn't do anything, tried to ban Momonga from life.
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-ban item. I haven't used this since the Explorer's League patch."
Back in the day, Momonga was nearly banned for being too good at the game. Luckily, he had this on him and evaded the ban.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
Momonga pulled out something from his inventory, "Ah, yes, my anti-author item. I haven't used this since the day I was born."
Momonga had to fight against an author on the day he was born.
Momonga's mother was an author.
So it's the perfect item for this situation.
The author Skryb was burnt to ashes as its self-insert died with it.
Momonga had won.
AN:
"Ah yes, my anti-author's-notes item. I haven't used this since the last day of Yggdrasil."