Chapter 4: Bittersweet
It wasn't until early that morning when something went wrong. Sam woke in Andy's room feeling more well rested than he had in days. He was grateful to her for suggesting that he catch some rest in her room. He figured he might not have been able to sleep at all in a room with Dean. He would have been on too high an alert for any movement or sound from his brother to be able to actually rest. He pulled himself out of bed and went back to his and Dean's room. Andy smiled at him when he entered.
"How's he doing?" Sam asked quietly glancing over at the bed.
"Pretty much the same," Andy replied. Sam noticed something was a bit different about her. She seemed light and a small smile played around her eyes.
"Did…something happen?" Sam asked pointedly. Andy looked up at him a bit startled. When she saw the smile on his face she chuckled.
"No hiding anything from you is there?"
Sam shrugged and smiled wider.
"We had a…chat and admitted some stuff to each other," Andy final said with a sigh. Sam hugged her to his side.
"Took you long enough," he said. "I'm going to grab a shower and do a coffee run; we'll probably need it."
Andy nodded and waved Sam toward the bathroom.
An hour or so later, Sam was back with coffee in hand and some light breakfast. Andy was ever grateful for her tea and croissant. The two of them talked on and off, just enjoying the company of old friends. Dean was getting a little restless after they had finished breakfast. Small sounds of discomfort were coming from him, and he was moving in his sleep. Andy went over to check on him. Sam noticed her face changing subtly to quiet concern.
"Andy, everything ok?" He watched her reach out and touch Dean's face gently. Fingers brushing against his cheek, then moving up to press against his forehead.
"I think his fever is spiking again," she answered. Dean moved towards her touch and whimpered. Sam couldn't remember the last time he had heard his brother whimper. He was up in a moment, resting his own hand against Dean's head. Andy was right. Dean was on fire.
"Sammy, cold cloth, right now," Andy said firmly as she stripped back the blankets off Dean. The movement spurred Sam into action and he rushed to do what Andy said. He was back quickly with two cool damp cloths, just in time to watch Dean go completely ridged.
"Shit," he heard Andy mutter under her breath. Sam was frozen. Dean was seizing, and Sam was completely frozen. He was vaguely aware that Andy was saying something, but he couldn't process the words. He could only stare at Dean convulsing on the bed.
It was over in less than a minute. Dean relaxed suddenly and was breathing heavily. Andy moved to Sam and put a gentle hand on his shoulder taking the cloths out of his hands. He snapped out of his frozen state and looked at Andy with open fear on his face.
"It's ok Sam, he's going to be ok," she comforted. She went back to Dean. "Help me sit him up."
Sam moved and got his brother propped up. Andy pressed one of the cool cloths to the back of Dean's neck. His breathing had changed to short and shallow. Sam was panicking. Andy watched Dean lying on his bed, desperately sick because she couldn't convince him to go to a damn hospital. She couldn't do it. She refused to watch another person she loved suffer and possibly get worse because she wasn't strong enough.
"Sam…I can help him," she said cautiously. Sam looked at her. His eyes wild. Without even thinking he said,
"All aright go for it. What is it a ritual? A sacrifice? Because at this point Andy I really don't care what you have to do."
"Sam,"
"Andy just do anything you need to, I'll get you whatever you need, just get him better."
"Sam,"
"What Andy!"
"Sam calm down. I can help Dean, but I just want to warn you that I haven't done this in a long time, and it will be dangerous for me and him. It's nothing that looks complex, but it will take a while ok. Just bare with me and please don't interrupt for anything. It might get a little gross, but…don't stop me."
Sam nodded and sat down on the other bed. He put his head in his hands and heaved a big sigh. Andy knelt next to Dean on the bed. She closed her eyes. She knew she would have to gather as much energy as possible. Healing took so much out of her in this world. She didn't know how long she stayed there meditating, gathering her energy. Centering herself in a way she hadn't in years. Sam kept quiet. Andy opened her eyes and looked down at Dean. She could see it. The poor guy was riddled with infection. Little pockets of bacteria were sitting happily in his lungs while the cold virus wreaked havoc in other ways. She looked carefully at his lungs and winced. There was so much fluid there she was amazed Dean could breathe at all. She had grabbed the plastic trash can that was in the room. She shifted Dean onto his side and place the trashcan close to his head. Andy placed one hand on Dean's burning head and one on his heaving chest and she began. She worked like she always did. Carefully drawing everything up and out. Pressing the energy into Dean's body. Waking up his immune system to work harder, faster, more efficiently. Forcing the infection out. She heard him gasp and start coughing at one point and she had a brief fear that Sam might stop her when she heard a harsh intake of breath from him, but he kept his promise and stayed where he was. The sound was not pleasant to say the least, but Dean did well. Getting all the crap out of his lungs. As she kept working her energy kept dropping. She was starting to lose her concentration. Dean fuzzed out of focus for a moment. She bore up and forced herself to stay on point. Finally, everything was gone. Even the virus. Dean was going to be fine. She let go and almost fell off the bed. Everything went black for a moment. Sam was there in a heartbeat catching at Andy's shoulders. Eyes flicking back and froth between his brother and his friend.
"Andy? Dean?" he said urgently.
"It's ok Sam. He's going to be fine." Andy mumbled panting "he's probably going to sleep hard for a while."
"What did you just do?" Sam asked helping her off the bed.
"It's complicated. It's one of my abilities." Sam just nodded.
"I don't know how to thank you,"
"It's fine Sam," Andy said slowly. Sam looked at her. She had gone almost grey, and she was sweating heavily.
"Are you ok?" Sam asked laying a hand on her arm.
"Yea, M' fine. Just…need to…lie down…for a…" her eyes rolled, and she collapsed back into Sam's arms.
"Whoa," Sam scooped her up and laid her on his bed. She was breathing evenly. Sam watched his brother and his friend sleep well into the day. Dean's healthy colour had come back, although he seemed to have passed it onto Andy. Sam tried his best to stay awake, keeping watch over the two precious people on the beds. Sam fought for a long while, but he was exhausted from the stress of the morning. His eyes slowly closed.
Dean woke some time in the evening. He sat up and realized he could breathe so much easier, and his head didn't feel so fuzzy. He looked around. He saw Sam asleep in the chair, his head propped on his fist. He looked over to the bed. Andy was there lying perfectly still. He got up quietly, at the sound of him getting off the bed Sam snapped awake.
"Dean. How are you feeling?" he asked with those concerned puppy dog eyes.
"I'm fine Sam,"
"Seriously, Dean you need to tell me if you're ok." Sam got up and touched his brother on the arm.
"Sam really, I'm fine, get off me dude." The tone in Dean's voice convinced him. Dean looked over at Andy lying on the bed. "What happened?" Dean asked.
"She did something. An Andy kind of something. She passed out once she finished."
"Is she ok?" Dean dragged a hand over his mouth. Sam looked worried.
"I don't know. She hasn't woken up yet." Dean went over to her and sat down on the bed. He brushed a stray lock of hair off her face. Sam watched the motion and wished that Dean could do things like that while she was conscious.
"She looks pretty rough," said Dean softly.
"I know," Sam agreed.
"We need to do something Sam. Maybe we should take her to a hospital."
"Maybe we should, but what would we say? We can't exactly tell anyone what happened. I don't even know what happened." Sam said incredulously.
"No," Dean answered voice thick. "Sam, I did this to her. We need to get her better."
"Dean you didn't do this to her, she did it for you. You were bad. You were really bad, and she pretty much saved your life by touching you. She did it for you." Dean looked hard at the girl he had fallen for. He took a shaky breath and bit back the frustrated tears that threatened to spill out of his eyes. Sam looked at his brother. Something was different. Something in the way he was looking at Andy. It was open and raw with emotion. Dean rarely showed himself so much. Andy had said they had talked. Sam wondered if Dean had actually told her how he felt. He reached out a put a hand on his brother's shoulder. Dean stood up.
"I've gotta get out for a while," he said roughly. Sam was taken aback.
"Ok… are you sure you're all right?" Sam asked concerned. Dean cleared his expression, putting a wall firmly in place.
"Fine Sammy, I just need some air, stretch a little. Been cooped up for too long."
Sam just nodded and Dean headed out the door. Sam looked after him and sighed. He looked over at Andy. Dean was right, she was looking really rough. Almost as bad as Dean had only last night. Suddenly he felt a wave of guilt for pushing her to hurt herself. He really hadn't thought that it would affect her this way. Sam collapsed into a chair and sighed. He rubbed his eyes. He was tired of worrying, he wished everything could just stop.
Dean wasn't gone long. He really had just needed to stretch his legs a little and get a handle on his emotions. When he came back he moved the other chair next to the bed and took Andy's hand. He watched her closely. Guilt was still rolling through him like a poison. He had brought her to this. His own stubbornness and selfishness had kept them from taking him to the damn hospital and now Andy was hurt. Please…Andy, just be ok. Dean thought. Suddenly, Andy was moving restlessly and moaning. It was the first time she had moved since she had fainted. Sam looked up and exchanged a glance with his brother. Dean leaned forward and cupped Andy's face gently. Suddenly her eyes flew open, and she started breathing quick and shallow.
"Andy?" Dean asked quietly. Her eyes didn't move. They stared straight ahead full to terror.
"Andy, what's wrong?" Sam said urgently moving to sit on the bed next to her across from Dean. Her eyes got wider. Then she started to scream. The boys both jumped at the sudden sound and then started to panic. Dean grabbed her shoulders and tried to get her to wake up, but she just kept screaming.
"Andy!" he said urgently "Andy, baby you need to wake up!" Nothing. She just kept screaming. Dean tried shaking her, tapping her face gently, nothing worked. With nothing left to try Dean took Andy's face in his hands and kissed her passionately. Sam looked at him stunned. The kiss muffled the sound of Andy's screams and after a moment her eyes cleared, and she was kissing Dean back. Her arms locked around his neck. Dean lifted her up off the bed and pulled her into his lap. When they broke apart she was sobbing. She clung to Dean for a moment shaking. Slowly, her breathing steadied, her desperate sobs slowed and her death grip on Dean relaxed slightly. Dean detached her arms from around him. He looked at her concerned and brushed her tears away with his thumbs.
"What the hell happened?" he asked his voice rough with emotion. Andy breathed heavily trying to keep herself calm.
"I…I don't really know. I was - I was seeing... things…" Dean cocked an eyebrow.
"You were what?"
Andy looked away from him and huffed out a breath of frustration.
"It's another of my abilities. It's called Seidr. It's a form of Old Norse magic." Her voice cut out as fresh sobs cut through her. Dean caressed her cheek brushing her tears away.
"It's ok sweetheart, we've got you. You're safe. What were you…seeing?" Dean asked slowly. Andy swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. "It was all pain and blood and heat and fear." She shuddered. "I was afraid. Terrified. Like I knew something was coming and I couldn't get away." Another strangled sob tore through her. Sam grabbed her a glass of water. She took it and drank gratefully.
"So, what you saw that's what was making you scream." Andy nodded her eyes welling up again.
"And what I felt." she said almost in a whisper. "It was strange, I've never experienced anything like that before at least not here. It was so…sharp. Not just vivid, which it was, but it felt, physical. Like I was really there. Scared the crap out of me."
"I'll bet." said Dean "You gave us a scare too baby." Andy smiled weakly embarrassed.
"Sorry. Sometimes, when I drain too much, everything else just floods in." Dean looked puzzled. He glanced at Sam.
"What do you mean drain?" Dean asked suspiciously.
"Never mind. By the way I'm glad to hear you not hacking up a lung."
"Thanks to you I gather," he said. Andy nodded.
"You're welcome," she said her eyes closing. She tried to keep them open.
"Why don't you get some more rest sweetheart. I'll bring you some food for when you're up to it." Dean helped her slide off his lap and helped her actually get into the bed rather than just on it. Then he kissed her forehead gently. Andy sighed and settled into the blankets. Sam and Dean exchanged looks mirroring each other. Dean got up and reached for his keys. Sam grabbed them before Dean could get them. He glanced up at Sam.
"What are you doing?" he asked holding out a hand for the keys.
"We need to talk," he said looking seriously at his brother. Dean dropped his hand and followed Sam out of the room. "What the hell just happened?" Sam asked facing his brother.
"What do you mean?" Dean asked shoving his hands in his pockets.
"You just kissed Andy," Dean shrugged "Dean you two have been dancing around each other for years. What changed?"
"I don't think that's really any of your business," Dean said grumpily. He snatched his keys out of Sam's hand. He watched Dean go with a small smug smile spreading across his face. He was amazed and amused that his brother had finally admitted something he was feeling out loud and to himself.
When Dean got back later that evening Andy was still asleep. Sam looked up at him and grinned.
"What?" Dean asked putting down his keys and some bags of food.
"I knew it by the way," he said glancing at Andy.
"Shaddup," Dean retorted cuffing his brother over the head. Sam just chuckled. Dean looked over at Andy. "She been out this whole time?" Sam lost his amused look.
"Yea, she's pretty wiped out." he said brow creasing with concern. Dean sighed and shrugged his jacket off.
"What did she do to me anyway?"
"Not sure. It was like she was meditating then she touched you and her hands glowed, you coughed up a whole lot of really gross crap then you were better."
"Huh, and what was all that before?"
"You got me. Pretty complex girl you've fallen for Dean."
Dean glared at Sam. He grabbed a beer and started brooding. The truth was Andy was starting to freak him out. She kept coming out with these crazy powers. If he didn't know any better Dean would want to be hunting her. Really, at this point he wasn't sure that he shouldn't be. But something was starting here. Something special that may even last more than 2 weeks. Dude she's 800 years old…Yea but she's beautiful…she is also bat shit crazy…so are y' idgit.
Andy woke up slowly. She was still tired, but it had lost the edge of exhaustion. She shifted slightly and pried her eyes open. For a second she wasn't sure where she was. There was morning light coming through the curtains. She glanced around and caught sight of Dean. He was in a chair next to her bed. Feet propped up at the foot, arms crossed, and head nodded forward dozing. Sam was awake, concentrating on his computer screen. Andy started to sit up which caught Sam's attention. He moved quickly shutting the lid of his computer and going to Andy's side which startled Dean awake. His eyes immediately found Andy and he was out of the chair at next to her in a flash. They helped her sit fully up. She was still shaky and felt a bit weak, but she could tell her own energy was starting to rebuild.
"Easy, easy," Dean said looking at her concerned one arm supporting her at her back.
"Welcome back to the land of the conscious," Sam said smiling at her. She smiled back.
"Thanks boys,"
"You all right?" Dean asked taking her hand "you've been out for a long time." Andy nodded.
"I'm better now. Had a chance to recharge as it were." Dean raised an eyebrow at her. Sam glanced between Andy and his brother.
"Right…Well we're glad you're ok Andy," he said giving her an affectionate squeeze.
"Thanks Sam. Is there any food? I'm starved." at that Dean's stony face finally broke and he smiled.
"What do you feel like?"
By the end of the day Andy was back to normal. She and the boys enjoyed a day of nothing. They hung out watched TV and laughed together. Dean couldn't remember the last time he had such a good boring day. But something was bothering him. He wanted to know what it was that Andy had done to him, and why she had needed to recover so much, and he wanted to know what else she was hiding. He felt strange and conflicted. On one hand, he had essentially just landed the girl of his dreams. On the other, she was turning out to be something that he would want to hunt. The thoughts kept scratching to the surface. It was bad enough that it kept him from sleeping easily that night. Andy had gone back to her own room, claiming she didn't want to deprive one of the boys of a bed for another night. Dean got up quietly and snuck over to her door and knocked. Andy opened the door a crack, then wider when she saw who it was.
"Dean, what's wrong? Can't sleep?" Dean shook his head. Andy stepped aside and Dean went in. He paced around for a moment. He paused and glanced at Andy who was looking at him confused."Dean…?" He turned to her and looked like he was about to say something and changed his mind. He sat down heavily on the bed and passed a hand over his face. Andy went over to him and knelt in front of him putting her hands on his knees.
"Dean, babe, talk to me. What is going on?" Dean looked at her seriously. His green eyes boring into her. It sent a thrill through her, attraction mixed with nerves.
"What are you Andy?" She was surprised. She leaned back on her heals.
"I told you already Dean."
"But not everything," Dean stood up. He was feeling restless. Being close to her was messing with his head. "You keep coming out with these 'abilities' one on top of another. You turn into an animal, you can manipulate water, you can heal people, you see things. How, why, what else can you do?" Andy was still on the floor starting up at Dean while he ranted. "I can't get passed the fact that I feel like I would usually be hunting something like you." Anger suddenly flashed in Andy's eyes.
"Something like me," she said quietly, her tone menacing. She stood up. Although she was more than half a foot shorter than him, Dean felt intimidated by her at the moment. She fixed him with a steely stare. "Dean Winchester, I am not a something. I am human, and always have been. I may be unique, but I am human. The things you hunt are not. They usually have also killed people. I won't try to tell you I have never killed anyone, but I have never killed any humans here, in this verse, and the others were only ever for survival. I'm not a killer, I'm a world walker." Her voice had slowly got louder, but she wasn't yelling yet. "If you want to hunt me, fine." She spread her arms wide. "Shoot me now babe but do it quick or I swear I will go to town on you."
Dean stood there. He looked afraid, but he didn't move. Andy relaxed a bit and moved closer to him. To his credit Dean didn't flinch away like Andy thought he might have. She took it as a good sign. "Dean, you know me. You've known me for 10 years. Now you just know me a bit more." She paused for a moment. A small smile passed her lips. She looked up at Dean directly into his eyes. She could still see his hesitation. "And I learned a bit more about you too," she reached up at touched his face. Involuntarily he closed his eyes relishing her touch. "We've been hiding from each other long enough," she said and reached her other hand up and ran it through his hair.
Dean exhaled a shaky breath. So many thoughts were running through his head, but Andy was right. She was the same person; she had never hurt anyone. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. The look on her face sent him over the edge. It was hopeful, open, and longing. He leaned in and kissed her lightly. One more quiet look and a silent flame was lit. Suddenly they were kissing. Their fierce passion it made the air crackle. For a moment they were nothing but lips and hands all over each other. The heat of their embrace steadied into a slow burn. Dean explored Andy with hands, lips, and tongue. One hand drifted up under her shirt. Andy broke their kiss and gazed up at Dean. Afraid he had done something wrong Dean let her go. Disappointment flashed across his face. Andy realized what he was reacting to and smiled softly to reassure him. Slowly Andy reached up and pulled Dean's over shirt off his shoulders. Excitement renewed; he shrugged out of it. Their eyes were still locked together. Dean gathered Andy's shirt in his hands. She put her arms up and he slid it off over her head. Both of their hearts were pounding from anticipation. Dean leaned in and kissed Andy's neck softly. He traced her collar bone with slow deliberate kisses. The shudder he felt run through Andy's body sent a thrill through him. She wrapped her arms around him tightly. Dean groaned softly into Andy's hair. She started pawing at the hem of Dean's t-shirt. Dean let her go just long enough to nearly rip his shirt off then they were locked together again. Andy began to guide Dean back towards the bed. When Dean felt the edge catch his knees Andy pushed him to sit. She straddled him and claimed his mouth and she ran her hands through his hair. Dean wrapped his arms around her. Aching to feel her everywhere. Andy didn't know what took over her, but she lost herself in the sensations and let herself fall.
Dean woke feeling utterly content. He felt more rested than he had for…for a long time. He sighed, basking in the bliss. He felt movement next to him and a bare arm snaked around his waist. He turned over as memories of the previous night began to trickle back to him. He smiled as he looked at Andy. Her hair falling over her face, which was serene in sleep. He brushed the hair out of her eyes. She sighed and opened her eyes and blinked up at him blearily for a moment. Then she smiled and stretched.
"Morning," she said sleepily as she cuddled into his side. He put an arm around her shoulders, and she laid her head on his chest.
"Morning beautiful." he said and kissed her head lightly. Andy giggled.
"Been a long time since someone called me beautiful."
Dean chuckled.
"Somehow I don't believe you."
Andy shrugged.
"It's true. Haven't had an opportunity. The way I live, there isn't really chances for a lot of relationships." Dean was quiet. He knew that feeling all too well. Far too few opportunities for being with someone for more than a few weeks in this life. Something about that thought suddenly tore at Dean.
"But when have we ever shied away from a challenge," Andy said with a smile she kissed him and climbed out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. Andy's words stayed with him. 'The way I live.' She was right. They way they lived was not meant for relationships. A hunter's life was always at risk. Dean knew that they would both try to protect each other at all cost. There was no way that this could end well. When Andy came out of the shower Dean was still lying in bed. His face was serious and closed. She sat next to him and put a hand on his leg. "Dean? What going on in that head?" He looked at her seriously.
"What are we doing Andy?" She looked back at him questioningly. "You're right, this life…it isn't good for relationships. Something will happen, at some point someone will get hurt." Andy took her hand away and faced Dean more fully. She was confused and annoyed. She hesitated for a moment before saying:
"You're kidding right?"
Dean looked away from her.
"Dean, I wasn't talking about a hunter life. I meant me, bouncing around through space and time; shit like that."
"It's the same thing Andy, hunters just aren't meant to have real relationships."
"Dean, we have been avoiding each other for years, we just had mind blowing sex, and now when we are finally being honest you want to just leave it alone?"
"I just know it won't work out,"
"How Do You Know?" Andy said raising her voice. Dean shrugged. It was killing him to say these things. He felt like the universe had given him a gift that he didn't deserve to take. Andy deserved better. Better than him. Andy turned away to keep her angry tears from Dean.
"The fact is you really don't know. You're afraid, and you don't know what to do so you're pushing me away." Andy got up off the bed. She started getting dressed. Dean watched her quietly. He knew he had hurt her, and he felt horrible for it. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't watch out for Sam and Andy at the same time. So, in a way Andy was right. He was afraid. Afraid of failing her. She was dressed now. She started packing things into her saddle bags silently. When she was done she turned to face Dean, leather jacket in hand, tears in her eyes.
"If this is how it is, if this is what you want…really," Andy said, soft but fierce, "then I'm gone. I can't..." she swallowed heavily. "I can't be with you, and not be With you Dean. Not after…" Her eyes flicked over Dean, still in bed. One tear slid down her face as she turned away and went to the door and opened it. She paused for a moment. "Next time you see me, don't stop. Just keep driving. I know when I'm not wanted." And she was gone. Dean sat there, completely gutted. I did the right thing here…right?
Sam was just coming out of the boys' room when Andy slammed her door and almost ran into him.
"Hey, good morning," Sam said brightly. Andy looked up at him briefly. Without holding his gaze, she hugged him hard. She broke away and jumped on her bike. She heard Sam call after her worry in his voice, but she couldn't face him. She sped away not even sure where she was going.