A/N: Had to re-write part of this chapter b/c I hated it, thus is the reason why it took me longer to upload. Still am not happy with parts of it but I have messed with it too much at this point. Anywho! Thank you for reading and hope you guys enjoy!
Chapter 13: Palette of Petals
The next morning, Padmé found herself gawking at her reflection in the mirror. Her head notched to one side, trying to comprehend the state of her once pristine ivory skin. She hadn't sprawled in the sun to get a tan for years, so what she saw across her fair skin was striking. With parted lips, her eyes raked down the slit of Vader's cloak and her heart froze at the number of bruises. She gulped, inching the fabric off her left shoulder assessing the damage to her body. Three crescent marks were punctured into the skin of her neck along with a handprint bruise which was now a mottled blue and faint yellow-green. Smaller red blotches riddled the rest of her body and when she gazed down at her inner thighs there were clear deep purple bruises. "Shit…" she muttered in a hushed tone as her fingers ghosted above the ravaged skin of her neck. Gliding her dainty fingers across her collarbone, they ended up gently feathering the mused, tousled, nightmare of her brunette curls. She couldn't help but think of herself a lunatic with a distinct frizzy mane shaping her face. Her state made her heart skitter; she'd been debauched. She'd never had her hair, her body, her mind so wild and untamed before. Force, she resembled a wild animal. That was the complete opposite of what she needed to be if she were to go to the Senate.
She was sore. Exhausted. In desperate need of a shower. She reeked of sweat and sex; the aroma of what perfume she'd put on the night before had long faded. After she'd fallen asleep, it was obvious Vader couldn't follow suit because she'd woken up only a couple hours later to fervent kisses under her jaw before they cascaded down her neck and onto other actions...
The only action she felt like taking was having a nice bath, perhaps a nap, then maybe a glass of wine later in the afternoon. She had no desire to attend the Senate. No desire to even leave Vader's establishments to do anything. Her legs felt like rubber sticks could she even accomplish the simple task of walking to her office?
Splashing her face with cool water, Padmé's mind went astray in the darkness of her eyelids until a pair of hands grasped her hips. With a squeak, her eyes flicked open to see Vader caressing her as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. Her heart scampered, his dark blond locks brushing against her collarbone, the sensation was like gilding against velvet. However his hands were another story, his flesh one was calloused, rough while his metal was cold, smooth – the only similarity they shared in common was they were both large. They languidly slid, nestling their way under the cloak to drift up her ribcage, hoping over every bone before pawing at her breasts. Hearing him drink in her scent as he buried his face into the nook of her neck, almost made her lost in the moment until realizing he was fully clothed – sans his leather gloves. Still, his lightsaber along with his growing erection were digging into her back.
"You're leaving," she whispered, suppressing a moan as the pad of his warm thumb brushed across her nipple.
"Yes, I'll be back this evening." He drawled into her neck, the hum of his voice sent shivers across the sensitive and tender skin.
"Does that mean Lasky will take me to the Senate today?" Padmé wondered, trying to control her breathing as his hands wondered from her breasts to trail lower.
"Why don't you take the day off," he murmured against her skin, casual as ever.
"I- I couldn't-" Her own squeak cut her off as his hand slid between her thighs, she could feel his lips curl into a smirk against her skin.
"You can," he intoned, "Angel, stay at my establishments today." Vader implored her then, a switch flicked in her mind - she was more than content with staying. Whatever worry about missing deadlines vanished from her mind completely.
"I'll stay at your establishments today." The words sounded odd leaving her lips but she was more than willing to follow them.
A small exhale left Vader's lips from her acceptance before a quiet murmur of the word, 'excellent,' hummed across her skin. The dark satisfaction in that single word sent tremors down Padmé's spine – she suddenly felt uneasy. That was until his fingers deftly drifted across her skin, swiftly distracting her thoughts. "There's something I need to inform you about," he purred casually shifting the topic, "We are leaving for Vandor tomorrow evening."
Padmé's eyes shot open, twisting in his arms, "What? Why?" She blurted, her bewildered chocolate eyes meeting a pair of assured golden ones. Her confusion was at an all-time-high, what could they -together- possibly need to do on Vandor?
"I have business there and I would like you to join me. I was thinking that we could visit a town southeast of the base, it could be…" Padmé stared, listening to him trail off as serious deliberation ticked in his gaze. She could almost see the gears in his mind turn to locate the correct word, "Fun." He finally said, almost mystified.
"Fun," she repeated, her eyes staring skeptically into his, "My only question is what is your definition of fun, Lord Vader?"
He seemed to contemplate her question, his eyes glancing upward before returning to her gaze. "What we've been doing I see as fun," he supposed, "I figured that you'd want to do more than just stay in my chambers for the duration of the trip. You haven't been off of Coruscant in quite some time, maybe a change in scenery would be nice." She could tell from his strained visage that the word was perplexing to him, almost as if the tip of his tongue became dry just trying to say it.
"How long will we be gone?" Padmé wondered, resting back against the countertop – immediately his arms moved to cage her to the marble.
"Three weeks. Two weeks we will spend on Vandor and the other we will spend on Naboo."
Padmé's heart jolted, "H-He's allowing me to return home?" She couldn't believe it, she hadn't been home in years – she hadn't seen her family in person for that long either. Padmé missed them, she missed the fresh air, the grass, the stars, the moon, everything.
Vader's eyes bore deep into her own, she knew he could hear her thoughts – her longing – her desire to go home. "Once we are married," he said with careful cadence, "you will be free to return to Naboo whenever you wish."
The woman's jaw dropped lightly, his words a benediction, "T-Thank you," Padmé somehow manages to speak.
The Sith's eyes narrowed, darting away from hers. "It is only right for you to be able to visit your home world whenever you wish," he affirmed, his flesh fingers brushing against her jawline. Silence fell between them, before Padmé could conjure a response, Vader broke the silence. "I need to leave… Threepio and Dormé are quite eager to speak with you. I recommend you join them in the kitchen."
Padmé could sense something from him as he turned to leave the fresher, conflict, of some sort. It was inexplicable how she could feel such a thing – why she could feel such a thing. Perhaps what he did not only broke her barriers to him, but allowed for her to have some reference to what's going on in his mind as well. Snapping into action, Padmé's strode towards the bedroom, controlling her jelly legs as best as possible and by the time she made her way out – there was a stack of clothing sitting at the foot of the bed.
"You should dress before leaving," Vader suggested while his gaze fixated on the skyline of Coruscant.
Padmé bit her lip, gathering the pair of sleep pants and thinner long-sleeved undershirt. Her teeth dug into the skin of her lip, wondering why he was seeming so distant all the sudden. When he strolled into the fresher, she could have sworn he was going to just shove her against the counter and take her again. When that thought brushed her mind, Padmé saw his back straighten, his hands curl into fists behind his back. A small frown pulled at her lips, they'd had such a nice morning waking up together, she couldn't understand why-
"I cannot afford to be distracted, Senator. I'm afraid neither of us will leave this room for at least another day if I decide to steal a glance," he explained, answering her thoughts.
A deep blush reached her cheeks at his forthright reply before she began sliding the comfy clothing over her body. Finally, she could feel her legs becoming more sturdy as she stood from the bed slowly walking towards him. Force, she was so sore. The burning between her legs as she walked was not pleasant.
"You're in pain," he whispered his gaze locking to his boots. The usual shimmering gold in his eyes looked almost dull as a feeling of regret and shame coated his presence. Padmé frowned eyeing the glass of the windows not truly knowing how to reply to his words. She couldn't lie and say she wasn't- it was obvious in the way she walked and his ability to read her easily rendered her with no other option.
"It's not like I didn't want it… We did this together," she whispered running a hand through her hair. But her statement did anything but make him feel better. He seemed even more distressed, and frustrated with himself. She recalled the way she'd felt that past night- the inability to control her own movements. Padmé pondered the thought for a moment, her mind was never against what he was doing, she didn't mind what he did… did she? His emotions about it made her question her own feelings- whether they were hers or if he had placed them there. "Vader?" She breathed brushing her hand down his arm.
He took a deep breath and composed himself a moment later, the piercing color returning to his eyes. "I will escort you down to the kitchen," he stated void of emotion, moving quickly towards the door as he threw the hood of his cloak to shadow his face. Padmé remained stunned for a moment at the sudden shift in his mood, it was like a swift one-eighty from actually seeing a human man back to his usual callous Sith Lord-self that everyone made him to be.
Padmé sighed following him out of the room, straining to keep up with his large strides so much so she almost found herself trying to jog to keep up with him. The short ride in the lift was almost painfully awkward. She wanted to say something- anything! But the darkness spewing from his presence was enough to keep her mouth shut. How could such a nice morning turn suddenly? Her mind just couldn't comprehend his mood swings.
Once the doors slid open, she planned to bolt out of the door to get away from his suffocating presence. However, she didn't get far before a hand snagged her wrist whipping her around.
With an onyx leather finger pointed in her face she froze, "You will not contact Bail Organa or Mon Mothma. If I find you have, I will strip you of all communication privileges- do you understand?" He ordered, his stature dominating hers, his voice dripping with enmity. She felt her heart leap into her throat at his sudden anger directed towards her. She swallowed the lump in her throat before nodding. "I need to hear you say that you will not speak to him."
"I won't speak with him," she whispered avoiding the pure frigid darkness that was the void of his hood.
"Good," he snapped shortly before releasing his grip and storming away.
She stood there for a few moments watching him disappear out of sight before she let out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding in. She wanted to understand what his problem was, what did she do? Her mind froze recalling what she'd done the previous day, there was no explaining why he would be so upset unless perhaps he knew. The memories of Threepio informing her that he'd been speaking about her for years flooded back in her mind as a split second of fear ripped across her chest. The way she felt after that conversation was what concerned her the most- the way Vader's eyes were locked with hers before almost feeling deathly ill. Why couldn't she recall this sooner? Why would she allow him to do anything to her after finding out that he'd been… watching her?
Her conscience urged her to silence her worrying, what's done is done and never can it be undone. Padmé's own feelings had turned against her, allowing every bit of self-defense she had left to slip through her fingertips. Blinking, she could feel tears running down her face as if her subconscious was screaming in agony- locked away in a box. She shook her head not understanding how she could feel completely fine with tears profusely gushing down her face.
With reluctance, she listened to her conscience urging the troubling thoughts away. She wiped the tears from her eyes before turning towards the kitchen. Hearing voices from the kitchen she could tell 3PO and Dormé were having a friendly conversation until she strolled in.
"Mistress Padmé how good it is to see you are feeling well again!" 3PO cheered waddling closer.
"Milady! I have been so worried about you! When I heard you had fallen ill I was so worried, I am relieved to see you," Dormé gushed rushing Padmé into a tight embrace. Fighting away the pain in her muscles, Padmé returned the hug gently.
"I am so sorry for worrying you both, I am feeling much better," she breathed, before pulling away from Dormé's embrace.
"My lady… your," Dormé whispered as her hands reached to brush across the bites and bruises across her neck.
"It's okay Dormé. I'm alright," Padmé smiled genuinely moving her hair over the shocking marks.
"He hurt you Padmé, what the hell are you talking about?" She quietly screamed. Padmé flinched at her harsh words not expecting to ever hear her handmaiden speak to her in such a way, "What is going on with you? You are always around him- this is the first time you haven't been locked to his hip in a week! What has he done to you- what is going on?" Dormé practically demanded.
"My understanding is that situations like these can occur during sexual encounters, Dormé," Threepio chirped joining the conversation.
Dormé shook her head profusely throwing her hand out to gesture, "Sexual encounters? He's fucking mauled her!" Threepio gasped and even Padmé even jumped back a bit from her handmaidens choice of words, "Padmé, I have known you for well over a decade and you would never allow someone, whoever that person may be, to do this to you! Please let me contact Bail maybe he can-"
"Please just stop," Padmé ordered harshly, "I can't- we can't- speak with him."
Dormé blinked, "What?" She breathed in utter shock, "He has been your friend for years! What do you mean you can't speak with him?"
Padmé couldn't help but feel completely trapped in the conversation because everything the woman was saying was brutally truthful. She would have never allowed someone to practically brutalize her during sex and Bail had been her friend for years even before the Republic fell. Confusion swept through her mind as she stared blankly at her handmaiden.
"Padmé! Are you going to answer me?" she snapped, "You're not acting like yourself. You shouldn't be like this."
"If I may introduce my observations into this conversation-" 3PO began to say.
"No! And you- what the hell, how can you be okay with this?" Dormé yelled at the droid. "I mean just look at her! Force, I'm afraid to even begin to think about what other bruises she has under those long sleeves," she hissed, "Padmé, we have been here for only a month… Have you already forgotten that man is dangerous?"
Padmé's eyes darted away from hers, "I have not forgotten," she whispered.
"Then what in the Sith's hell is going through your mind?"
"I- I- don't know," The Senator answered honestly staring back into her handmaidens eyes. "I don't really think…" she began to speak before trailing off not knowing how to finish the sentence.
"Perhaps it would be best for Mistress Padmé to have her breakfast," 3PO affirmed, setting her a plate of food onto the breakfast bar.
"Padmé please, can you just please tell me what's going on…" She begged, "How the hell can you seem so happy looking like that?"
The young Senator listened to her friend's words, she was making Padmé out to be an equivalent to a drug addict who was on a dangerous path to overdosing. It was a stressful thought thinking about how if Vader had lost control with her could he by accidentally kill her? She could recall the tightness around her throat- how she couldn't breath and for some sick twisted reason it was pleasurable… she was solely relying on Vader to loosen his grip.
"Dormé, I don't need you judging me," the woman cried raising her voice, "You're here to help me, not antagonize me." Padmé reminded her before she ran a hand through her hair out of stress.
"Oh dear…" Threepio sputtered touching his metal hand to his head.
"That's what I am trying to do milady-"
"Well you have a hell of a way of showing it," Padmé retorted stepping around Dormé's frame moving deeper into the kitchen.
"I should not have become so animated my lady, but you must understand how concerned I am for your health," The woman reasoned, "Please milady, try to understand my qualms about this."
"I do understand," Padmé sighed, relaxing her tone, "And I appreciate your concern. But please stop. Please be somewhat happy for me that I'm not hating every moment of my existence." The troubled woman pinched the bridge of her nose as she took a seat at the breakfast bar, she stared over the food and was surprised to see that 3PO had created a traditional Naboo breakfast. Her fork poked at the food for a moment wanting her stomach to enjoy it however, between Vader and Dormé her appetite was essentially gone. Quite ungraciously, she thudded her elbow on the cold countertop staring at the food as her forehead fell into her hand.
Her entire existence at the moment was a mess. Her mind was in shambles. She felt weak. Vader had an unbreakable grasp on her mind. Padmé should feel violated, horrified, why didn't she? The more she tried to contemplate what he'd done- the more her skull began to ache. She didn't want to think about how all of that made her feel anymore. It was too difficult. A deep sigh left her lips as she glanced up at 3PO, "I'm sorry Threepio, it seems I've lost my appetite," she whispered setting the fork onto the plate.
"I am truly sorry Mistress Padmé, is there anything I can get you to make you feel better?" The droid asked solemnly removing the plate from in front of her.
"No," she whispered pulling herself off the stool, wondering towards the terrace. Leaving 3PO and Dormé behind, she stepped out into the brisk air of Coruscant.
The variety of flowers still amazed her as she wondered further out onto the mosaic stone pathway. Padmé began to wonder how interesting it was that Vader would want almost a forest of flowers outlining the space. Each arrangement of live plants was from a different planet. A frown pulled at her lips, there was no way Vader or even 3PO alone could take care of all them. She hadn't spent much time at his establishments during the day – he must have gardeners or expert botanists considering some of the plants seemed to need more attention. Each plant bed required different nutrients and maintenance to sustain beauty. Curiosity in her mind peaked, noticing a large conservatory in the corner of the pathway which reached all the way up to the higher levels of the penthouse. She'd been at his establishments for over a month now, how was she just noticing this now? Then again she never really ventured beyond her quarters besides to head to the roof before a week ago.
Making her way down the path, her eyes scanned along each planet that shared similar climates to Coruscant and every single plant was in immaculate condition. It was incredible to see such care, not one was wilting, sick, or lacking nutrients. A warmth spread across her chest as she stared at the massive arrangement dedicated to the flowers and plants of Naboo. The arrangement wrapped around the glass conservatory, devoting the entire corner of the terrace to the planet. A deep blush flustered her cheeks at the possibility that he did this just for her… Her eyes widened in complete astonishment as she stared at the largest variegated blue and crimson Millaflower plant she'd ever seen. A smile tugged at her cheeks as the familiar sweet scent filled her senses when its petals ruffled in the breeze.
"Beautiful," she whispered as her hand reached out to brush against the soft sensation of its petals. In all her years of living on Naboo, she had only ever seen one other plant like it- within the Royal Botanical Gardens of Theed. However this one in particular was spectacular, its petals fringed due to an extraordinarily rare mutation.
After staring at the incredible anomaly for a few more minutes, she made her way around the exhibit. She felt in awe staring at the most prized plants of Naboo, each one the rarest and most beautiful color morphs she'd ever seen. As she rounded the outer bend of the conservatory, a small giggle left her lips as she kneeled down recognizing the small common flowers that riddled the lake country, they remained separate from the rest- in their own pot. She laughed knowing the reason why, they would threaten to take over the entire lot of plants if they had the chance.
A question formulated in her mind as to why he would have such a nuisance plant amongst such fragile and astonishing anomalies of nature? Whatever the answer, she still found their inclusion almost adorable because even if they were pesky at times- they were still very beautiful.
Her hand mindlessly reached up, brushing against the bruised skin of her neck. There was something in her body that told her Vader couldn't possibly be a complete monster. Even with the small amount of time she'd shared with him- she had seen a totally different side of him that she herself never thought existed. Earlier he had shown remorse maybe even a hint of regret for believing he hurt her- she knew for a Sith that was uncharacteristic.
Even if he was uncharacteristically kind to Padmé, she couldn't bear the thought of meeting him in battle, his advisories would never be shown the same compassion. She shut her eyes recalling the rumors echoing back from the Rebellion- Darth Vader left no prisoners, literally ordering the execution of detained rebel soldiers once extracting all he could. Her eyes stared at the ground as she recollected his crimson eyes staring into hers. There was no doubt in her mind that he was ruthless, dangerous, frightening in every sense of the word but there was also something human. She could never, ever compare him to the likes of Palpatine- that man was a true monster. Even so… Vader was merciless. She had heard whispers through the military ranks that if you did your job and did it well- you had nothing to fear from him. It was only failure that made him snap. Force, for someone so young he sure did have a lot of weight on his shoulders, commanding an entire military was not an easy feat.
Padmé sighed standing from her kneeling position, leaving the flowers of Naboo behind. Stepping up the staircase of the glass structure, she accessed the door controls, the metal barrier sweeping out of the way. As she strolled into the building, immediately she was hit by outrageously hot and dry temperature- as if walking into a desert. A massive spiral staircase wrapped around the curves of the building leading to one final level at the top. However her eyes were not lingering on the top floor, they were fixated on the massive tree in the center of the room. It had no leaves, it's branches were tightly wound and twisted stretching out just a small bit beyond its trunk. It was shocking to see such a unsightly desolate tree.
She stepped towards the plaque on the edge of its massive container, she finally understood why there were stairs leading into the place, the soil must reach all the way under the flooring to allow for the root system to stretch. Her hands folded behind her back while her eyes read where the tree was from, Tatooine. Confusion swept into her mind, she had only been to the Outer Rim planet once. From what she recalled of the planet it was barren, she couldn't even remember ever seeing any type of living entity that wasn't brought there.
She found the tree intriguing, not only because it seemed to live without leaves but why would Vader have such desert specimens part of his collection- dedicating almost the entirety of the massive building to the planet. She knew that the tree would never survive in the Coruscant air so it wasn't a surprise that he had to place it indoors in a controlled climate. But, why have the tree at all? He seemed to have an affinity for flowering plants ones on less hospitable planets.
She rounded the massive tree staring up at its branches once again before her eyes moved towards a smaller tree on the far side of the curved building. It was a quaint little tree with its bark a shimmering ivory hue. Even with no leaves, the small tree was beautiful- she almost found it hard to believe it had come from Tatooine.
A Japor tree, her mind whispered reading the plaque beneath it. The tree was only a few inches taller than herself but its trunk around twelve inches in diameter at the base. It's stature reminded her of a large bonsai tree but a different color and without any green growth. The little tree was mesmerizing, she found herself staring at the smooth surface of its bark- completely different than the monster tree in the center of the room. She bit her lip hesitating to touch the surface of its skin, she felt like she'd get in trouble for even contemplating touching the rarity.
Padmé tossed the timid feelings aside, reminding herself that the place she was in, was not a public museum. Technically, this place was her new home. Reaching out, she brushed her fingers along the bark and it was just as smooth as she imagined it being. A deep blush reached her cheeks for acting so childish. She knew Vader wouldn't mind and probably even be disappointed that she felt like the tree wasn't hers as much as it was his. The only place in the apartment that she was restricted from accessing was the third floor- 3PO said nothing about this. Slowly, she pulled her attention away from the tree before scanning the rest of the bottom floor. Every plant was almost the same color other than the Japor tree. There were only five other plants, some had fruiting bodies, some even looked to be dead but she knew that they couldn't possibly be.
With a sigh, she wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead, if she had known it would be so blistering hot she would have never worn such garments into the place. Pushing discomfort aside, she made her way up the staircase- her eyes focusing on the tree in the center once again, intrigued by its dark complexion and how immensely different it was from the smaller ivory tree. Accessing the door controls at the top of the stairs, the barrier slid open and her eyes widened. Her face was hit with immense humidity, before her was a forest of tropical plants. The greenery almost overwhelmed her while only a few number of plants actually produced flowers. Again she wondered towards the plaque towards the bottom of their containers, searching for what planets they were from and to her surprise they were from Felucia and Maridun meaning that in the darkness many of the plants would glow.
A frightened yelp spouted from her lips as a huge bug flew in her face, even if it was a carrier butterfly her heart still pounded from the creature crawling on her forehead before flying away. It was then she noticed there were dozens of them- all different sizes and colors fluttering about the large space. Giggling, she wondered into the room that reminded her immensely of a jungle. It was like going on a small adventure, her heart fluttering like the wings of the butterflies surrounding her.
A sigh of relief left her lips as she noticed a stone bench beneath a canopy of leaves. Taking a seat, she wiped her forehead again from the sweat jewels that had condensed. Under her clothes she felt sticky, but as she laid back on the bench and shut her eyes listening to the small sounds of mist and butterflies. Relaxing in the tranquility, her shoulders and spine decompressed with relief as she curled onto the bench and slowly drifted off into sleep.
A light weight on her ankle stirred her out of the peaceful slumber that had fallen over her mind and the first thing she felt was an even coating of dampness under the clothing. Her cheeks felt hot- almost on fire when she began to shift. Force, she practically just fell asleep in a sauna. Before even looking at her fingers and toes she knew they must look like prunes, she had probably fell asleep for a few hours. A small deep chuckle made her snap to life, she sprung up causing three butterflies to flutter off of her cheeks and nose. Her eyes darted towards the sound- to Vader who was sitting at the very edge of the bench by her feet, the hood of his cloak down with his golden eyes staring at her in amusement.
"You're back," she whispered running a hand through her slick and frizzy curls.
"I returned an hour early, Threepio informed me he couldn't find you," Vader explained with a small smile.
She stared at him for a moment before looking away, she thought he'd be mad about her going missing. Shaking the assumption aside, she was happy to see that he was in a good mood. "This place is incredible, your whole collection is magnificent," Padmé whispered reaching for a leaf above her head before releasing it. "I've truly never seen anything like it…"
"There's really no greenery on Coruscant, it's nice to see plant life once in a while," he stated simply with a shrug before mimicking her movements and pulling at a leaf beside him.
"Vader, this place has some of the rarest phenotypes I've ever seen," she breathed sitting up to gaze at him seriously, "You're reasoning has to be more than just wanting to see a standard plant. And downstairs, I didn't even know Tatooine had native species. Also…" she laughed out of astonishment, "I grew up on Naboo and have never seen some of the morphs you have, the only ones I've seen even remotely similar were those in the Royal Gardens of Theed." she gushed with a light smile on her features. "You don't have to give me a personal explanation, but I just want you to know that this place is truly a masterpiece."
"They are only plants, Senator," Vader reminded her, his tone one of annoyance, it dashed her dreams of attempting to draw something emotional out of him. She frowned lightly, before staring away watching the butterflies float about the room. She shook her head at his response- these plants weren't just plants. He literally had an entire ecosystem of his own design at the top of this building. She knew there had to be more to him than just wanting a bit of natural oxygen. A deep blush reached her cheeks as she recalled believing he dedicated an outrageous amount of space for the plants from Naboo- it was silly to think he had done that for her…
"I figured that it would make you happy to see something… familiar here," he stated aloud obviously eavesdropping on her thoughts.
"So what Threepio said to me yesterday… you talking about me for years, that was the truth wasn't it?" She asked quietly, knowing that the plants of Naboo outside were not new arrivals. They were flourishing, obviously planted some time ago. A heavy silence filled the air between them as the blush on her cheeks became hotter. Even though her expression changed from the silence, his never faltered from his standard taught stare.
"I have answered this question already," he stated standing from his seat, with his back towards her.
"To protect me…" she whispered trailing off, "But…" that doesn't explain all this, she internally whispered not wanting to say a statement that may anger him out loud. "Why didn't you ever approach me?"
"I had to be patient. There were certain measures I had to take, circumstances I had to be endure which required time to ensure your safety," he said hesitantly. Even more questions rose in Padmé's mind from his answer. She shook her head trying to understand what he even meant. "Also… if I had approached you, would you have even wanted to be near me?" He questioned making her heart jump to her throat as her mouth suddenly became dry. The moments dragged on from her lack of reply, she heard Vader sigh before raking a hand through his hair. "I understood that there was no way someone like you could ever want someone like me."
Padmé's heart pounded in her chest as a heavy emotional pain sunk into her gut. Even though she could tell he was trying to hide the way his words made him feel, she could hear the pain he was trying to suppress. Biting the inside of her cheek, she thought over his notion. Part of her knew his words spoke the truth- she could never voluntarily be with someone who had been responsible for the death of millions. However, there was a part of him that maybe he didn't realize he had- he could be nice and even sweet when he wanted to be.
"The man that I sometimes see when we are alone together is one I could see being voluntarily with," she whispered being completely honest. "But you're right… if you had asked me out," she dryly laughed at the almost silly statement, "I would have been inclined to say 'no.' But I don't see why that matters now because I'm here now and I do, at times, like being here."
"I will never be a good person," he stated almost coldly.
"A lot of people are neither good nor bad. The world isn't typically black and white," she frowned, "There's color. Blues, greens, purples… an infinite combination of possibilities in a person- it makes us who we are."
"And what wrong have you done?" He questioned his voice rough almost accusatory as if she were a perfect being.
"I practically facilitated Palpatine's rise to power. I am almost as responsible as you are for the those who died forming the Empire," she admitted, the thought making tears prickle in her eyes. "It was my fault… I-I- was a pivotal person who aided in creating all of this…"
"You had to do what you thought was in the best interest of your people," he stated, "Every choice you made was to end suffering, I wouldn't qualify that as wrong-doing," he stated emotionlessly. "What you did saved the galaxy."
Her jaw locked at his last comment as a stir of anger brewed under her skin. Of course he believed Palpatine's rise to power was a good thing. Not wanting to take the conversation down the road of ethics she decided to change the example. "Then what about how I feel for you," she whispered, "It's wrong of me to feel the way I do, there's something between us… a spark- I know it makes me sound silly…" She groaned throwing her head into her hands, "I should feel guilty but I don't." She could feel her cheeks heat up in her hands from her sudden admission. She had only known this man for a month and here she was confessing something serious. What was she worried about? Rejection? She was marrying this man, he had wanted her- why did she feel so scared of showing her feelings to someone who obviously felt something for her? As the silence between them grew longer, she felt her heart crush in her chest. Force, I'm such a fool… she internally groaned.
"I'm a Sith… we are not supposed to show empathy or compassion. We can have possessions that strengthen our power, we are allowed to fuel our vices for generating fear in others. We are allowed to feel pain, anger, greed and feed off of those emotions in order to acquire absolute, unlimited power," he explained slowly, "I will never be able to care for you Senator."
"Then what do you feel towards me?" She blinked, her heart pounding- afraid of his answer.
"You should be no more than a possession to me," he affirmed lowly.
Padmé's heart dropped in her chest, that was it? All he wanted from her was to have exclusive access to her mind, body, and soul? It made sense, he said it himself… 'I bound you to me,' it's not as if he said we now share a bond or anything of the sort. What he did was to have limitless control. Padmé's stomach churned, the bile rising in her throat. She let him do that to her- she let him…
"I said should… not that you are," he finally clarified turning towards her. His words made her eyes dart to his face, she was surprised to see his usual piercing golden eyes were once again dull just as they were earlier that morning. However there was something different, they almost looked like a mix of gold and… blue?
"Then what am I?" She prodded as a large tear broke through the dam, streaking down her cheek.
"I'm not sure what you would like me to say," he groaned, pulling at his blond locks. Her eyes widened at his reaction, he almost seemed in pain. The stress lines along his forehead made him look much older than he actually was, his eyes became even more dull and blue as she refused to answer. "Senator, all I want is for you to be safe and you are safe, here, with me."
"If you're so concerned then you must care about me-"
"You are mine! With me is where you are supposed to be," he barked, his eyes morphing from dullish blue back to shimmering gold. The formidable possessive nature swirling in his eyes sent shivers down Padmé's spine while goosebumps formed across her skin. Her head dropped in defeat. In a matter of a few seconds, she'd obviously lost any progress she'd made. Padmé lightly shook her head before standing and looking out the glass wall. The sun had fallen below the horizon, she had spent the majority of the day asleep.
"I think I will retire for the night," she whispered moving to walk past him. There was no point in conversing with him further- she could tell his thoughts revolving the topic had inexplicably shifted.
"Once you accept it, things will become easier," he professed as she continued to walk towards the door.
She shook her head, biting her lip- struggling to not entertain his words. So Padmé left, allowing the door to slide open and slam closed behind her. After the door shut, her heart began pounding in her chest as her lip quivered. She could feel herself begin to lose it causing her to race down the stairs and out the door. Padmé had to get away, she was losing herself being around him.