Into the woods. Feels like someone is gonna grab me from behind and eat me alive. A bear? No. More of a killer from the Wrong Turn movie. With sharp arrows, chainsaw and knives that will cut me into pieces.

"Morbid. You are morbid Addison." She tapped her chilled cheeks before getting off the car to meet Derek on his land of nowhere, land of the unknown, land of the dark. As she stepped her foot on the mud, an expected groan from her tight red lips escaped like releasing a the frustration she's been holding from the moment she felt the Seattle mist on her face. Her Valentino heels stuck and her face almost kissed the muddy ground. "I hate this torment." Yet eventually facing her fate, embracing the future she would enjoy with her past lover.

"Are you lost?" More of—lost in love. "Like Alice in wonderland." Wonderland it is. A tent was set up on an empty space, candlelight inside with white rose petals scattered on the table, and even on the ground. A romantic set up? Why? "Derek, what is this?"

"Dinner. I realized you never had a romantic dinner with me on this land. Here's our chance."

We never had dinner together. We never had a chance because you ignored me. You loathed my existence. You never saw me the way you see me back when we were still madly in love with each other. You never gave us a chance when I poured my best to save our relationship.

"It's…" beautifully romantic. I couldn't deny it. "Thank you. You didn't have to do this Derek. Remember our deal? It's just sex. No strings attached." The bloody bitterness showered in her tongue, leaving regret at the tip of it. "Is it bad not to treat you romantically?" it's too late for that, don't you think? "Let's just get over dinner and—"

"Derek?" betrayal. "Addison?" jealousy.

"Meredith, hi!" poker face, fake smile. "You're finally here. Enjoy your dinner date." Letting go. "I gotta go. Jake is probably waiting for me too." Addison looked at Derek with no emotion. His eyes glistened with apology and anger—after hearing Jake's name. "Thanks Addison for helping me set this up." He played along. Never expecting a sad ending. "No problem. Happy to help. Enjoy you too."

On the way to her hotel, Addison couldn't help but to think about the awkward scenario earlier. It could've been her and Derek. We really ran out of chances. She never had a date with Jake, it was an excuse to save herself from a fire. She didn't want to have a fight with her ex-husband's current partner. She already had too many issues and Meredith wasn't one. Her phone was ringing with the specific tone she set for the only man she's still in love with? Hooked up with. Addison just let it ring, waiting for the name to disappear. But once it did, it reappeared. She knew that he won't stop.

"What do you want Derek?" annoyed and not in the mood to talk to anyone. "Open your door."

"No, go away, go make love to your wife. Leave me alone." She used the word make love thinking it was the right term for people who are in love to have sex. And what she and Derek have, it's just sex. "Addison. Don't be like that."

"Derek, don't be like that. Leave me alone. I'm hanging up. Bye."

There was a long beep on the other line, she hung up. Derek tried to ring her phone again but Addison already turned it off. No choice, he went back to his trailer, weighing his feelings. The dinner and pleasure he planned to share with Addison, tragically spent with Meredith. Yelling and cursing at each other's the most delicious desert he had ever tasted. Maybe if I made the right decision with Addison…maybe it's too late.

Morning came and his open eyes never experienced sleep that night. His mind was overthinking and choosing the right thing to do. Someone's gonna get hurt. Indeed. Sleepless, Derek walked like a zombie in the hallway of the hospital he called home. Home? Why did I even call it a home if there's no light coming from…Addison?

He spotted the familiar redhead walking towards the nurse station to get Camille's chart. She didn't look at him in the eyes when she said "Good morning Dr. Shepherd." There were no sparks anymore, no excitement and giddiness. What happened? Meredith happened. "Good morning Dr. Montgomery." It wasn't him tho, it was… "Hey, Dr. Reilly." And there she was, smiling at him, being touchy to Jake again. Is she making me jealous. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good." Liar, Addison. "How about you?"

"Better than ever. Thanks to you." What? Something happened?! Addison leaned closer to Jake and whispered "Happy to be on your service." Of course Derek heard it, and he felt sick so he snorted and stomped away from them.

"You know he's still in love with you, right?" I know. "Why do you still want us to make him jealous?" because I want him to feel what I felt when he's hitting on Meredith whilst we were still together. "I just want to watch him like that. Lunch out later?"

"I can't, sorry. I can do lunch tho but in the cafeteria, I have to be here…"

"I understand. Cafeteria then."

"Laters, Addison."

"Laters, Jake."

Walking towards Camille's room, Addison yelped when someone pulled her inside the supply closet. "Leave my husband alone, Addison."

"Excuse me?"

"Leave Derek alone or I'll drag you out of Seattle."

"Wow, Dr. Grey, the audacity of you threatening me like that. Why don't you tell that to your post-it husband then? I am here to treat Richard's niece, not to make a business with you. Now let go of my hand and do a real job here, Dr. Grey. People are paying you not to pick a fight with another doctor." Addison glared at Meredith with eyes of a hawk. "You have a great day, Dr. Grey." She then fixed her lab gown, squared her shoulder, walking like the boss she was. "We're not yet done here, Addison!" Meredith yelled, making the whole hospital look at her, including Derek. He shook his head, embarrassed of what just happened. She tried to run after him, but he warned her not to. There's too much in his bucket and that drama added a weight he couldn't tolerate.

Derek already knew that Addison just controlled her anger and just managed to stay professional, however, the Queen of Passive Agressiva was already boiling inside and her coping mechanism is to toss a bottle of wine or face down the bar. He wondered if she'd be calling Jake to accompany her—no, no Jake and there'd be no getting drunk. So he waited for the right time to talk to her, he didn't care if Addison would push him away. It's now or never.

"Addie…"

"Mark?! Hi!!"

Why do I have to compete time with someone when it comes to Addison? After Jake, now it's Mark!

"You look mellowed, Red. Who's the guy, huh?" Derek shook his head, Addison saw that. "Well, someone you'll meet if you chill with us at Joe's later." She really loved seeing Derek jealous. He was turning red, about to burst and his eyes got darker when Addison mentioned some other men's name. That someone turned her on. "I'd love that. Derek, come on, let's grill the guy." Mark nudged, he clearly had an idea that Derek never moved on from Addison.

Derek answered him coldly, "No thank you." Mark looked at him everyday and he's getting miserable. Yes, he looked happy when he's with Meredith— in the beginning of their relationship, but that didn't mean he's in love…not like he was in love with his ex-wife. "Well then, it's your loss man." Mark shrugged. "I gotta go, nice to see you again Addie. Laters." When Mark was no longer near them, Derek looked at Addison but she looked away saying "I also have to go."

"Addison, can we please talk?"

"If this isn't a medical talk, I'd rather not, Dr. Shepherd."

Derek was confused. "Dr. Shepherd?" Wow. "Addison, one time." And for the last time, Addison shook her head before walking away. "Addison." She didn't stop tho. " I am still in love with you." And that revelation shook the whole hospital. Addison was usually the head turner, but at that moment, Derek stole the crown. Addison paused for a second, tho it wasn't enough to turn her heels and walk back to him. Not when she's in Seattle, where Meredith resides.

~

"Again, Addison and Derek in my office. Don't you get your shit together?" Richard raised his voice, he wasn't so pleased to know what happened. "You always make a fuss." Addison and Derek were just looking at the floor, counting tiles. Waiting for each other to talk first. The impatient one finally gave up. "It won't happen again Richard. I'd be on my feet out of Seattle first thing in the morning." That broke Derek heart, she's leaving again. "I can still monitor Camille even if I'm in LA. Don't worry about it." She forced a smile, rubbing her temple. "I am always the cause of drama when I'm in Seattle so it's better if I leave and never come back."

"You are not the main problem here Addison. Derek! Care to explain?"

There's nothing to explain to you, Richard. I'd rather talk to Addison alone.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll get my shit together. It won't happen again." Richard looked at Derek and then to Addison. "Last time for the both of you. Now go save lives."

When the two were already outside Richard's office, Derek didn't stop asking Addison to talk to him. "Fine. Let's talk, and it's the last time for both of us." She tried to mock Richard. "In my office."

"No, Derek. We both knew what's gonna happen there. Park. Outside the hospital." Where no nosey doctors and nurses could judge us. "Let's go." Derek was about to hold Addison's hand but he stopped himself before doing so. At the back of his mind was Meredith. He knew she heard the drama he had caused and he could imagine her fuming again. At that moment tho, he didn't care anymore.

"I meant it, Addie."

"I know." Addison released a deep breath she's been holding. "Everyone is telling me the same thing and I'm too blind to see." But then again… it's just sex. "Derek, I love you. I never stopped. But this thing we have, it should stop. It's just so stupid, we are hurting everyone."

Derek held Addison's hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. It's his best way to say everything is gonna be alright, we will be fine. "I fvcked up big time. I lured you to that deal because I couldn't get enough of you, and now we're on a limbo. I'll end things with Meredith, because Addison you're still the one who owns my heart."

"It's so wrong. Don't leave her for someone who broke your heart a hundred of times." I'm just gonna hurt you again and again. "Let's end this, Derek. I already ruined our marriage. I don't want to be the reason for your another failed marriage." Addison finally met Derek's eyes, they're begging her to stay, to fight again. How else could she do/make it, if the only thing she ever did on her last Seattle stay was to fight for nothing? "Let's be happy as Addison and Derek." Because there's no longer AddisonandDerek.