Survivor

Harvey pushes open the door to his apartment, disappointment sinking his enthusiasm as he speaks to his girlfriend over the phone. "What do you mean you can't come over tonight? I got pizza, I even got those stupid yellow tomatoes you like." He places the box down in the entryway, confused by their sudden change of plans. Although nothing was actually set in stone, they've spent every night together, except one. And he tries to quash the rising panic that he's done something to upset her and hasn't realized.

"Harvey, something came up last minute," Donna explains, curling her feet up on the couch. Not dressing up until she spoke to him was deliberate. They're not joined at the hip, but they're old enough that spontaneous nights don't happen all that often anymore, and she does feel slightly bad altering their evening. "An old friend called me out of the blue."

A small swell of relief surges through him as he shuffles back to the door. He's glad the cancelation isn't his fault, but he was looking forward to seeing her, and a hint of frustration vibrates beneath his voice. "Well, then.. why don't you come by later?" He closes the lock with a click. "I can reheat the pizza. It'll be forty percent worse, but it's okay."

He sighs, and she tilts her head, questioning his flat tone. "Why do I get the feeling this isn't about pizza?"

His feet pause by the strong aroma of oregano. "Alright, look..." He stuffs a hand into his pocket, bouncing on his heels."It's not something I advertise, but I watch Survivor."

"You watch Survivor?" Her lips twitch with a smile.

"I do."

His unashamed answer makes her giddy inside. Not so long ago, he kept his quirks private, and she wants to discover all of them. But now she knows he likes Oprah and Survivor; she can't help teasing him. "You shouldn't admit that."

"It's an understated show, but I love it, and I was hoping to get you into it." He's not embarrassed, even though he knows she's fighting a smile on the other end of the line.

"Okay…" she chuckles softly, but stays wary of the time. As much as she'd like to indulge him, her friend is only in town for a few days. "Then what do you say I take a raincheck?"

It's not the answer he was hoping for, and he picks up the pizza box with a shrug. "Alright, but it's under protest." He rounds the corner into the kitchen when it suddenly occurs to him she's not just bailing on him, she has plans that don't involve him. "Who is this old friend, anyway?" he asks, laying the food down on the counter.

"A college friend." She has nothing to hide but feels compelled to tell him the whole truth. "Roommate, actually. He's been living in London doing West End shows, but his agent sent him over here to audition for a part in a movie."

The plate in his hand wavers, and he takes the phone from where it's pinched between his ear and shoulder. "This ex-roommate have a name?" He tries not to make any assumptions like whether this guy is going to be the next Brad Pitt or if Donna had more than a platonic relationship with him.

"Joshua."

The one-word answer doesn't fill him with confidence. He'd rather hear 'Josh who's married' or 'Josh who has a crush on George Clooney'. But neither statement follows, and he sets the plate down, clearing his throat."Right, well… Don't worry about the pizza. Have fun."

There's a pause before the line disconnects, and she thinks about dialing back, but she shakes off the urge with a sigh. He told her to have fun, and she hopes at least part of him was being genuine, because that's exactly what she's going to go out and do.

…

Harvey has his phone in reach all night, waiting for the screen to light up with a text from Donna, and every second the screen remains dark, he gets the sinking feeling he deserves the silent treatment.

Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, he knew he was bound to slip up. He made a mistake agreeing with her when he thought she was wrong, and now he's swung the other way, putting his needs first. But both scenarios have one thing in common; his phone sitting idly while he downs another finger of Scotch. It's time he broke the cycle of going to sleep wondering, because his biggest need is knowing they're okay. He caves, reaching for the device when his door suddenly rattles, and he abandons his cell, pushing up, and striding to where Donna is crossing the threshold to his apartment. She closes the door behind her, the lock clicking in place, and he breathes out a slow exhale. "Hey."

"Hi." She smiles. All evening she's wanted to reach out but hasn't for two reasons. Firstly, because he didn't, and secondly because she was having a good time with Joshua. She's allowed to have friends, and she wouldn't judge Harvey for doing the same thing. But she didn't want to end the night on a sour note. And if she's being completely honest, his condo feels like her home now, too. "You said something about pizza?"

She slips off her shoes, and he feels like an idiot for being so goddamn stubborn. "In the fridge." He brushes his hand awkwardly behind the nape of his neck. "There's only one piece left. I didn't think…"

"That I'd be coming over?" she answers for him, padding across the carpet with lazy steps. She's a little tipsy, but still careful about encroaching on his space. His apartment may feel like home, but she was the one who turned their evening upside down, and she stops just shy of reaching him. "I can go."

He shakes his head, his palm seeking the warmth of her body. "No." He tugs her closer, cupping her waist. It's no secret he has a tendency to get jealous. He's always felt excluded from her past relationships, because he was. He never made time to get to know her friends, platonic or otherwise. Mostly, he tried to ignore the fact she had a life outside of his, but that should have changed a long time ago, and the least he can do now is be honest. "You going out with this Josh guy… It bothered me. And I know that's not fair, because I trust you, Donna. I do."

She believes him, but the reassurance that he has unwavering faith just makes her even more confused."Then, what's wrong?"

"You know everything about me. Mostly everything," he admits, finding her gaze. The fact he likes to watch Survivor may have come as a surprise, but if someone asked him where she worked before the DA's office, he'd draw a blank, and he's not okay with the pieces that are missing—not anymore. "I have a lot of catching up to do."

She bites the inside of her cheek, hiding a small smile. It's true. She's dug into his past way more than he's scratched the surface of hers. But she's not some deep, dark mystery waiting to be unearthed. After over a decade of spending nearly every day together, he's seen every side of her. Just because she knows why he really gave up baseball in college doesn't mean she has some secret advantage reading his thoughts. But she is good at reading people in general, and she smooths her palms across his chest, trying to ease his worry. "Okay." She gives him an all-open pass. "What do you want to know?"

He breathes in stiffly, feeling like he's about to wade into quicksand. But her eyes tell him there's no trap—he can ask whatever he wants. And maybe he should take the high road, but his jealousy towards Joshua does soften as he breathes the most obvious question. "Just an ex-roommate?"

She nods, amusement tugging at her lips. "Two people can be friends without doing that."

He grins, his thumbs circling her waist.

She rolls her eyes. He's right, they're a bad example. She never could shake the night they spent together from her memory. Something about him stuck, and now she knows why. They were meant to be together, despite all the others in between. "But I can tell you all about the guys I did date in college," she teases.

He smiles, sliding his palms around her back. He does want to learn more, but he's not quite ready to dive into all her risqué escapades during her school years. Now they're together he doesn't want to share, not even with the ghosts of ex-boyfriends. "Let's stick to just friends."

He leans down, and she chuckles softly into his kiss, her amusement fading as she winds her arms around his neck. Too often their conversations start with good intentions, only for their bodies to end up in a tangle of limbs. But she's not complaining.

Right now, she wants to take the only man she cares about dating to bed.

...

Harvey wakes up the next morning with the same wide smile, and he forgets to ask about Joshua. But in a week's time when they settle in to watch Survivor, he remembers to ask how Donna met the aspiring actor. And whatever happens on screen is far less interesting than her animated story which descends into them both trading tales and war stories of their college years.

In the weeks that follow, he never does manage to get her hooked on Survivor.

But she always finds her place beside him on a Wednesday night, finishing up work or with a book in hand as she manages to take up half of the couch. But he doesn't care, because he's hooked on her.

And so long as she's next to him, that's all that matters.