Disclaimers: Naruto isn't mine. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, angst, references to suicide/ suicide attempts, sexual content (yaoi of course), & referenced/ depicted child abuse.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Chapter 17: Change Your Tune

"I think about you. But I don't say it anymore."

-Marguerite Duras

- - -

The two dropped down on Naruto's bed, staring at the ceiling and trying not to think about what was likely happening downstairs.

"This is so weird" Naruto muttered.

Sasuke glanced over at him. "Why is it weird?"

"Well, because they're together and we.."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "And what are we, Naruto?"

"We are, well.. you know.."

Sasuke turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow so he could study the uncomfortable blonde. "No, I really don't" he said. "Explain it to me."

Naruto looked down as he cupped his injured wrist close to his chest, trying to avoid Sasuke's pressing stare. "I don't know, Sasuke. All I know is if they get serious this could start to get awkward."

"How so?"

"Don't play stupid, teme! What if we end up living together?"

The raven studied him for a moment before quietly saying, "would that be so bad..?"

The blonde sighed. "I mean.. probably. Look at everything that happened this weekend."

"Are you referring to us getting closer and learning more about each other?" Sasuke asked, "Or figuring out that we might feel more than we realize? Or maybe you're talking about finally seeing just how much I care about you. Is that the weekend you're talking about, Naruto?"

"I get it, Sasuke- ok? I get it. But there's other stuff too. You know there is. And it's kind of.. overwhelming. It wouldn't be a good idea for us to live together."

"I hope to prove you wrong some day" Sasuke muttered under his breath.

Blue eyes widened. "What?" he breathed.

"It's nothing." Sasuke's gaze dropped down to the wrist Naruto was still cradling. "Are you ok?" he asked, gesturing to his wrist. "It looked like you were in pain when Iruka fell on it."

"It's fine. It's not a big deal."

"Let me see" Sasuke insisted, reaching out towards him.

Naruto jerked his hand away. "Will you relax" he snapped. "I said it's fine."

"Stop being so goddamn stubborn" the raven snapped back. He sat up and scooted closer to get a better look.

Naruto finally gave in and dropped his hand in Sasuke's. He carefully pulled back some of the bandage, revealing irritated skin and a darkening bruise. It was definitely swollen; honestly, it looked painful. "I'll get you some ice."

Naruto assured him that it wasn't necessary, but the raven ignored him and dipped out of the room anyways. He kept his fingers crossed as he shuffled down the stairs, hoping that he wouldn't see their drunk guardians going at it. He did not need that image in his head.

He could hear laughter from the living room and made sure to avoid it as he rushed to the fridge. He grabbed a hand towel, filled it with ice, and raced back up the stairs.

Naruto was sitting up in bed, waiting for him. The sight of him filled his mind with memories- of a blonde from the past, smiling in his bed, and of this blonde in this bed, pulling him down- insisting that he didn't want him to leave. Both made his heart skip a beat, and both felt horribly out of reach.

As he tended to his wrist, the two could hear Iruka and Kakashi stumbling up the stairs and down part of the hallway before a door slammed shut. They had gone into Iruka's bedroom. Sasuke exchanged a wary look with the blonde.

"You don't think we'll hear them.. do you?" Naruto asked.

"God, I fucking hope not."

They soon found that hope just didn't cut out.

They had just settled next to each other, chatting about basically nothing when they heard a heavy thud echo from down the hall. Then another. And another. Naruto's eyes shot over to the raven. "That's not what I think it is, is it?"

Before he could answer, a scream of ecstasy and pain filled the house and their minds. Naruto was horrified, which grew significantly as the heavy thumps started up again. Sasuke knew exactly what it was, and he was pretty sure Naruto did too.

It's the fucking headboard slamming against the wall.

Their rhythm grew faster, the screams louder. When Iruka called out Kakashi's name, they were both ready to get out of there. To literally go anywhere else.

"My house?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto nodded and leapt to his feet. He grabbed his bag, dumped out the contents, and quickly filled it with clothes and necessities. He was having trouble managing it with one hand, and Sasuke quickly stepped in to help him. Once he was packed and Sasuke had collected his things as well, they threw on their bags and rushed past the noisy bedroom, down the stairs, and away from the house.

The silence of night was a relief and they both took deep breaths to welcome it.

"Well, that was horrifying" Naruto murmured as they set out on foot.

"It was definitely.. a lot" Sasuke agreed.

"I didn't even know Iruka was into guys. It's kind of surprising to see him with Kakashi like that."

Sasuke eyed him before replying. "Well" he said slowly, "sometimes it's not so obvious. Sometimes it's hard to admit how you really feel, and to be comfortable enough with it to act on it."

Naruto glanced over at him. "I know what you're doing Sasuke."

"Do you…"

"It's not the same."

Sasuke's eyes hardened. "I realize that."

Naruto looked away, discomfort settling in. "You said you wouldn't push it."

"Did I?" Sasuke asked- trying, unsuccessfully, to keep the irritation out of his voice.

"I'd rather not think about all of this right now" Naruto murmured, "especially with their noises still in my head."

"Pervert" Sasuke quipped.

"I'm not doing it on purpose!"

"Sure you're not" Sasuke said, smiling at the blonde's distress.

They joked the rest of the walk to his house, which helped to ease the tension between them. Sasuke led them inside and locked the door behind them. "Come on" he said, attempting to sound casual, "let's drop our stuff off in my room."

Naruto agreed despite the tight coils in his stomach and followed the raven upstairs.

He didn't really have a chance to check it out the last time he was there, so he spent some time looking around when they stepped inside.

The room was very Sasuke. Grey walls, a large bed with a dark blue bedspread, an open closet full of black clothes, and a simple desk with a laptop, small lamp, and a picture frame lying face down. He had a feeling he knew what the picture would show, but he was still curious. As Sasuke started to unpack his things, he quietly moved to the desk and lifted the frame.

A blonde with brilliant blue eyes and a wide unabashed smile had his arms wrapped around the waist of a young Sasuke. His hair was a bit shorter then, but with a similar style. He looked almost the exact same, except for the smile. Naruto had never seen that one on his face. He looked so happy, so.. in love. His deep obsidian eyes were looking over at the blonde with that same look of longing and adoration he sometimes looked at Naruto with, but without the pain.

Naruto was surprised to find that the picture made him feel kind of down. He couldn't explain it, didn't want to explain it, but for some reason it saddened him that he didn't get to see that same smile. That it belonged to this blonde- one that looked exactly like him. Minus the scars.

A hand reached out and slammed the picture back down, startling him.

"I left it like that for a reason" Sasuke said, his voice sharp.

Naruto stared at the upside-down frame, still seeing that picture in his head. "He really does look just like me" Naruto murmured, his eyes and voice far, far away.

Sasuke grabbed his shoulder and spun him around, eyes burning with anger. "Don't" he snarled. "We are not talking about this."

"Why not?" Naruto countered. "I've told you things I have never told anyone. I told you about my mom, my scars.." His jaw tightened. "Why won't you talk to me about this?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I can't" he breathed, taking a step back.

"Why not?" Naruto asked again, taking a step closer. "God, just fucking let me in, Sasuke!"

The Uchiha grabbed the blonde by the collar and jerked himself closer, eyes locked on his face, burning with barely contained rage and a pain buried just beneath it. "Don't ask me to talk about him. Not when.."

He stopped, but Naruto knew where his mind was at. "Not when I look like him" he finished for him.

Sasuke shook his head. "That's not-"

"There's no point denying it" Naruto interrupted. "I saw him. He's like a fucking scarless me."

Sasuke's eyes hardened. "I don't want to hear you say shit like that."

"What- the truth?" Naruto shot back. "Is that why you think about him when you look at me? Is it just easier to look past the scars instead of at them?"

Sasuke growled as he spun the blonde to the side and up against the wall. Naruto groaned as his back slammed against the unforgiving surface, but Sasuke ignored it. "You really think so little of me?" he snapped. "There is nothing wrong with your face- how many fucking times do I have to tell you that?!"

Naruto dropped his gaze, unable to meet the intensity in Sasuke's.

"I like you Naruto" he said, his voice thick with emotion he was fighting to contain. "I like you. I like the way you look, I like your sense of humor, the weird shit you do, your softness and your random anger. I like how energetic you get about the smallest things, the things everyone else takes for granted, and how you curl up in my arms when you're scared."

Naruto flinched.

"You are not the same person. And you are not a replacement" Sasuke said, realizing it as he said it out loud. "I'm sorry that I'm not over losing.." he swallowed, "it's.. it's only been a year."

Tears filled his eyes- the sight of them making the blonde freeze. "And.. and it's my fault. I can't just forget. But that doesn't change how I feel about you."

A tear slipped down the blonde's cheeks, surprising the raven. He gently brushed it away as he released his shirt but continued to stay close. "Why are you crying?" he asked quietly.

Naruto gave a heavy, humorless laugh. "Why? Do you really have to ask?" He rubbed the heel of his hand against his eye, forcing back the rest of his tears. "Sasuke- the only thing going for me is that I look enough like him that you'd feel drawn to me. The rest.. there is nothing special about me. It doesn't make sense why you would like me like that."

"God, you're a bad listener. I just fucking told you why I like you."

"A year isn't enough time" Naruto said, looking up into his charcoal eyes. "You said I'm not a replacement, but I think that's exactly what I am to you."

"You piss me off." Sasuke grabbed the blonde and dragged him over to his bed. He stopped when they hit the edge of it and shoved him down.

Naruto gasped when he dropped onto his back and tried to shuffle back, but Sasuke quickly knelt down on top of him and forced him back down.

"Sasuke, stop."

"What more do I have to do to prove that it really is you that I like?" Sasuke asked, his voice strained.

Naruto shook his head but couldn't get the words to come out.

Because you want it to be true, his subconscious insisted. You don't want to be his replacement.

You want Sasuke to want you.

To see you.

It was hard to admit, but..

Seeing the blonde pull in on himself, Sasuke did the only thing that came to mind to bring him back. He leaned down, grabbed his chin, and kissed him.

Naruto froze at first, but he was having a hard time denying how he really felt.

You like it.

You know you like it.

So why fight it?

Hesitantly, Naruto wrapped his arms around the Uchiha, pulling him down, and then he kissed him back. This time it was Sasuke's turn to be surprised. But it didn't take him long to get over it. He slid his hand from his chin to the back of his neck as he deepened the kiss. He lowered his hips until they were pressed firmly against Naruto's, growling into the kiss at the contact. He could already feel his body stirring, and he moved against the blonde as the feeling grew.

Naruto's lips parted and their tongues met in a passionate, aggressive fight for dominance. Sasuke won, but he had a feeling Naruto let him push his way inside. He wanted so badly to push his way into another part of the blonde too, and he was beginning to wonder if he might actually get the chance to.

He does seem to be coming around…

Naruto lifted his hips to meet his, sending shivers down his spine. He thrust against the responsive blonde, and desire quickly devoured him. Sasuke growled and grabbed the blonde's wrists, forcing them down to the bed.

Naruto screamed and he instantly knew his mistake. He pulled back and stared in horror at Naruto's paled face. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"

Naruto nodded weakly, but it didn't look it. He looked like he was on the verge of passing out. Sasuke got off of him and carefully took his injured wrist to examine it. Guilt stabbed through him as he realized that the swelling had gotten a lot worse.

"Shit. We might need to go to the hospital."

Naruto shook his head. "I- I don't want to do that" he breathed, his pain palpable.

"Naruto. I don't think you have a choice."

The blonde vehemently shook his head. "I.. don't do so well with hospitals" he admitted. "Can we just try to deal with it here..?"

Sasuke bit his lip, feeling unsure. He didn't think that ice would be enough, but it was clear that Naruto was uncomfortable going. He assumed it had something to do with his past traumas, but it was different now- right?

I mean, he wouldn't be alone.

He wouldn't have to face his mom's anger and likely the lies he was violently coerced into giving. Sasuke would be by his side every step of the way.

"I'll get some ice" Sasuke said, "but Naruto-"

The blonde looked up.

"I'll be with you the whole time. It's safe for you to go there now."

Naruto's eyes widened as he realized that Sasuke understood his fear- his reason for hating hospitals. It was both reassuring and horribly embarrassing.

"I know" he said quietly.

Sasuke nodded. "Ok, I'll be right back."

He got up and rushed from the room, just as he had at the blonde's house earlier. When he made it back, he found Naruto struggling to sit up while cradling his hand. "Let me help" he said, hurrying over. He carefully pulled the blonde up and placed the ice on his wrist.

Naruto winced at the contact, and Sasuke felt another burn of shame. "I'm sorry" he choked. "I wasn't thinking…"

"It's ok, Sasuke. Really- you don't need to keep apologizing."

"I lost control when you started to kiss me back."

Naruto blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about" he mumbled, looking anywhere but at him.

Sasuke refused to accept that. He placed his hand on the blonde's cheek, holding his face tenderly as he bent down to meet him head on. "Yes, you do. You like me, don't you."

It wasn't a question. He already knew the answer.

Naruto bit his lip, feeling anxious but knowing that his eyes already gave him away. "I'm.. scared" he admitted.

Dark eyes widened. "Of me..?"

Naruto swallowed. "No. I'm scared of.. of this. I don't want to end up like her…"

His mom, Sasuke realized.

"You won't."

Naruto met his gaze. "You don't know that."

"Naruto, you are nothing like her. And neither am I" he added, knowing that the fear probably went both ways. "I won't hurt you" he looked down at his wrist, "well.. not intentionally."

Naruto gave a small smile. "I know."

"Do you trust me?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto placed his hand over the raven's, holding it against his face. He nodded.

"Then let me take you to the hospital" Sasuke said. "Tell them what really happened." His chest tightened. "No one will hurt you there, Naruto. I promise."

"Trust works both ways, Sasuke" the blonde said quietly. "I want you to trust me too."

"I do" he said automatically.

"Then tell me what happened" he gestured to the picture on his desk, "with him."

"Naruto.."

"Let me help you" he cut in, "the way you've helped me."

Sasuke sighed and let his hand slip away. "I know what you went through was fucking horrific" he said, "but you've had time in-between. I haven't." He met his gaze. "I need time, Naruto."

The blonde searched his face. He knew he was right, but it didn't make him feel any less disappointed. "Will you tell me when you can?"

Dark, pained eyes slid over to the framed photo lying flat on his desk. His chest ached every time he saw that picture, but it was almost worse shoving it down- shutting out the blonde he constantly thought of and missed- the one that used to be his.

"Yeah" he said quietly, "someday I'll tell you about…

Minato."

Author Note:

I know.

I know that Minato is supposed to be Naruto's dad.

I know that it's wrong for me to act like he's not, and to make him Sasuke's long-lost love.

I know you're fucking livid about it. I get it. But he's the only one who looks like Naruto and he has the same personality! Can you really think of anyone else I could have used?

Naruto's dad will remain nameless in this story, so when you think about Minato I want you to picture him when he was young and not a dad, and to hold onto that. Ok? Please, just do this for me and forgive me.

Xoxo