Chapter 52: Journey of Discovery

Apparently, I'm a very poor den mother when I'm not the one bearing kits because Frecklewish got annoyed enough with me to kick me out of the nursery. I was to quote, "too energetic", "smothering her", and overall "too involved". To be fair, I never needed to entrust the birth and care of my kits to another. My own strength was always enough, but now I was playing the tom's part. I was the one fretting at every moment about the care of my queen. Frecklewish was so annoyed that she ordered me to not come back until I've gone on an adventure or something to blow off all that energy. It wasn't a bad idea.

I'd been wanting to investigate a hunch I developed since we went on our vacation. Since it would be just me and Splitpelt, I wanted to look into something ancient, something that predated him. I wanted to look into the origin of the Darkforest. What was it before, and why is it a hellscape now? How does Starclan relate? It was difficult to do, but I could faintly feel when the intent beneath the Darkforest was stronger and weaker. Maybe I could use that to trace the origin. Before we could leave, I met Crookedpaw, now Crookedjaw by the reflection pool.

"Hello my dear kit." I greeted him.

"Mother! It has been a while. I haven't seen you since the Starclan border celebration." He returned. Despite how aloof his words sounded, I could feel the true intent behind them. He was still the same loving and somewhat troubled kit beneath his posturing.

"It really has, but I've been busy. I'm not sure if you heard, but Frecklewish has kits coming, so you'll have more siblings soon. On top of that, I think I might have discovered something about the origin of the Darkforest. We can tell you about it when we get back." I mewed trying to end the conversation. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to Crookedjaw, but I still couldn't forgive myself for nearly puppeteering him to be his clan's deputy. I couldn't do that. I'd be doing the same thing as Starclan.

"Mom! Are you trying to avoid me? What did I do?"

"Nothing! You didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I almost did something wrong to you, and I'm sorry sweety. Can I make it up to you?" I asked.

Crookedjaw seemed to ponder the question before answering. "Bring me on your trip. I know we can find more reflection pools, and I want some time to be with you."

"What about your duties below?" I asked.

"I'm not asking you to take me everywhere. I just want to be there when I can. I'll join you every night and we can go over what you learned."

Splitpelt decided to remind us that we weren't alone by stating, "I don't think it's a bad idea. Maybe we can also go over the plan of what you almost did. You aren't being deceitful if you lay it all out for him."

I huffed. There was no getting out of this. I had to push down my guilt and trust Crookedjaw wise enough to not just be a pawn. Maybe this would be a journey of discovery on multiple fronts.

"Alright. I give. You can come with us Crookedjaw. We can set off now, and we'll stop for the night at whatever reflection pool we find. That alright to you?" I asked.

Crookedjaw nodded, sealing our fates. We set off in a direction somewhat parallel to camp. We'd have to wander somewhat, but I could feel the intensity of the area. The mud was just a bit stickier. The scent was slightly more sulfuric. These were things Splitpelt and Crookedjaw picked up. Meanwhile I felt something different. I could feel latent emotions pressed into the land. It felt like choking on smoke and water. It felt like the cruelest of hungers and the bite of claws through your neck. In other words, I could feel death, not just an individual death, but the pure concept. An apocalypse was the only potential origin I could imagine.

We settled for the day after I dug up a reflection pool and landscaped out an area for us to rest in. I did take note that despite how intense the intent of the land was, my landscaped haven seemed stronger. Maybe the intent wore down over time.

When Crookedjaw left for the day, it was just Splitpelt and I left. I didn't feel much like resting, so I decided it may be time to blow off some steam. Splitpelt deserved some undivided attention from me. I'd been overfocusing on Frecklewish anyways.

"Splitpelt, dear." I mewed his way. His eyes met mine as he tried to ascertain what I was calling him for. I couldn't help feeling somewhat sorry for the tom since I'd been forcing him to play his serious role more and more lately. It was time to try and bust that shell. I wanted him to break loose and have a little fun.

"You know I love how your fur feels. Come over here and let mama snuggle you." I mewed in a somewhat taunting flirt.

I let him approach before I began pressing and rubbing up against him. I marveled at his well toned muscles and how, despite his mismatched appearance, everything fit and flowed together to create a truly powerful and handsome cat.

I must have been doing things just right because Splitpelt soon couldn't help but flirt back. "You know if you keep this up, we won't just be cuddling here." He mewed in a suggestive tone.

"Are you afraid you can't handle me? For a cat who claims to have been all five of the clans' leaders, you're surprisingly submissive. Tell me do you like being dominated?" I mewed slowly letting each word sink into him. A mixture of thrill, shame, and anger flowed from him, and I decided to tease it. "You know I can feel what you feel Splitpelt, and you can't deny a small part of you want it."

I felt him shuffle in place, clearly embarrassed to silence. I brought myself right next to his ear before whispering, "you know this journey is about you and me. While Crookedjaw isn't here, let's fulfill your dark fantasies."

I must have gotten him really good since I heard him squeak. No wonder Splitpelt likes flirting. If you press a cat just right, they melt in your paws, not that I was lying to him. We had a lot of time to burn and I was curious what fantasies Splitpelt desired from being the lust of five cats at once. At least now he seemed more relaxed and more himself. I'd have to remember this trick the next time Splitpelt decided to let logic overcome his ability to feel. This is what our love felt like. We were two cats dancing on the edge of a cliff, both swinging slightly over the edge, relying on our partner to pull us back, an adrenaline love and addiction.