Chapter 81: Two Failed Mothers
The most ruthless killer is time. I let it stalk on, letting it choose its course without interruption. I saw Brokenstar's exile, a deed that came far later than desired. I saw little Firepaw grow into a warrior. I saw him gain his name and return Windclan. I watched on, knowing fate and Starclan had a path made. Ther was no point in me interfering.
It was then that I felt a resonance, a mother like me with far too much regret. I drifted down to watch. It was Yellowfang, the former Shadowclan medicine cat and now Thunderclan medicine cat. Her soul faintly stank of milk. It was a scent all former mothers carried. Regret clung to her like vines wrapped around a tree. I dug deeper, a forbidden love scented like marsh thistle, regret of innocents lost, failure…
There it was. Failure of a mother. A familiar scent clung to this particular grievance. The stench of stagnant water, blood, rat, and Darkforest sulfur revealed all. It was Brokenstar. The kit she failed to raise and now brought nothing but heartache was Brokenstar. I felt a bit of anger directed at the former queen, but I also felt a kinship. We both failed our kit. He now walked a dark path we could not possibly dissuade.
When she slept, I decided to visit her dreams. Within, I was able to take my true form, but I kept myself invisible. I saw Yellowfang. She was heavy with kits. I followed her as she searched for a good place to hide. She was picky and meticulous. She needed the perfect place to give birth. Finally, she found it. A bush with adequate room beneath met her criteria. A dark brown tabby makes an appearance, touching her nose is greeting.
The tabby disappears, seemingly off to hunt. Yellowfang was alone. The bush now appeared more cramped than she'd initially found it. Then the kits came in a wave of blood. Two were still, their necks clearly bitten through by tiny jaws. The third had blood on his muzzle. Yellowfang did not get to see his eyes before the scene changed.
She sees Lizardstripe bat her kit away. Brokenkit tumbles backwards before coming to a stop. There she sees the kit. There is no love in that kit. There never has been. The bitterness directed at him has come full circle. The kit rises, drawing up to his full adult form. Blood soaks his paws and muzzle. Around him are the bodies of Raggedstar, some Windclan cats, and several kits and apprentices of Shadowclan. The monstrous cat brings his face less than a whiskers length from Yellowfang's. His breath stinks of rotting meat and tainted blood.
"I am the monster you made. I am your kit. Are you proud of me? Are you proud of what I became? You had every chance to stop me, but you didn't. You must have wanted this." Taunted the dream Brokenstar.
"No! I never wanted this! I loved you. I wanted you to be a good cat. I never wanted you to be this!" Yellowfang screeched to the dream.
"And yet you did nothing. You are a coward!" Yowled the dream Brokenstar.
"I'm not! I'll make this right!" Yellowfang answered.
"And how will you do that?" Teased the dream.
Yellowfang was at a loss for words. She had no good answer. Unfortunately, I did. I made myself visible beside her.
"You know great pain Yellowfang. One should never have to see their own kits become a monster. It is a mother's duty to guide and protect their kits… but it is also our duty to punish them when they misbehave. I know you still love him, but sometimes we must hurt those we love. I will lend you aid when the time comes." I mewed stoically.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"Someone who once tried to be his mother. I had forbidden kits as well. Mine never got the chance to grow up."
"What must I do?" She asked.
"What you must. Brokenstar must be punished. Do not fear your gift." I mewed cryptically before disappearing.
I do not know how much Yellowfang remembered once she woke, but she looked more resolved. She at least knew what she had to do. When Brokenstar's rogues finally raided, she knew it was time. Brokenstar came for her first. Brokenstar may have been strong, but he was weak off scrounging for food and Yellowfang had been training. They traded strikes for a bit before it was time. Yellowfang was going for a facial swipe. Normally, it'd just leave a stinging scratch, but I decided otherwise. In an instant, I enacted my power, trading her claws for mine. The longer claws did exactly as I expected. Instead of just leaving a stinging scratch, the cut through the eyelids and shredded the eyes beneath. Yellowfang and I had blinded our kit. I felt no joy for this, but it was necessary.
Yellowfang actually looked at her claws curiously, mine having vanished before the swap could be noticed. She had felt none of the empath backlash of hurting a cat for that strike. He claws were also curiously clean. There was no blood on them, but there was blood on mine. I decided there was no reason to watch further. Justice was done.
I visited Yellowfang the following night. She somehow noticed me instantly.
"Its you again." She mewed in a careful monotone.
I simply nodded.
"Why have you come back? Haven't I done enough?" Yellowfang asked aggressively.
"You are right to hate me. I asked you to do what no mother should. You did what was necessary. I hope now you can find peace. I only come bearing a warning. Brokenstar is not totally helpless. He was always too clever and ambitious to stay down."
Yellowfang nodded slowly. "I'll keep that in mind spirit."
I let the silence continue. Neither of us really wanted to speak, but we didn't want to leave either. Instead, we sat in silence, reminiscing about Brokenstar and our failures to him. When I finally stood up to leave, Yellowfang asked one question.
"I do not hate you spirit. Will you give me your name?"
"You will not get a kind story from it, but it's Mapleshade."