Hi, so here is the first chapter of 2024! I hope you enjoy this chapter and this story and please let me know what you think (see previous chapters for more notes)
Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.
I know nothing about the legal system in New York for kids in Jamie's situation so please let me know if there are any inaccuracies and I will assess.
Please Read and Review.
There's A Place Where Lost Things Go
Chapter 8-I Could See The Writing On The Wall
Danny is living with Jamie. Yeah, let's see how that goes. Also Erin has a few things she wants to say…but Danny as per usual is not in the mood.
The second Erin stepped outside the house Danny followed her. Nikki was sat at the table colouring in a car for her new cousin. Harrison was still in his final check up but Linda had told Danny to take Jamie home and get him showered and fed before he came back. Jamie had gone willingly enough, had used nearly a whole bottle of shower gel and shampoo and then had wolved down three bacon sandwiches one after another when Erin had arrived with spare clothes a hug and her daughter. Jamie had been polite and then had gone to sleep on the couch and Erin had gotten a mulish expression on her face that she usually reserved for criminals.
"He looks like shit" she said taking a deep bull of the beer.
"What did you expect" he said leaning against his fencing. Erin shrugged.
"I don't know" she confessed finally. "But he's back and now we can all sleep at night so that's something. I just…I just wish Mom would have been here to see him"
Danny snorted. Erin sighed.
"Danny don't" she said without even looking at him. "Don't start now the woman is dead…our mother is dead"
"Good" he said and she turned to look at him her eyes swimming with tears.
"Danny you don't mean that, you really don't mean that deep down"
Truth was she was right but such was the contradictory nature of his relationship with his sister he could not say that out loud. He did not think right now looking at his brothers hollowed out face, that he could go into how much he missed his mother.
"This whole thing" he said after a pull on his own beer. "Is her fault. He's…he's a scared shell of a boy Erin, you didn't see him when Joe and I turned up at the hospital. It took him twenty minutes to get trough his head that we were not there to take his baby away from him, that was before Dad turned up and that scared him shitless. He's…he's terrified and were barely scratching the surface. The damage that Mom did to him is indescribable."
Erin watched him for a second and then she nodded her head and wiped her eyes with the three fingers on her hand. She sighed and then.
"She regretted it so much Danny. You never bothered to be there at the beginning—"
"I was there"
"You were there when it was end Danny" Erin said quietly. "You never bothered to be there for the hard stuff—"
"No I was too busy cleaning up her mess"
"And you took Joe with you and neither one of you saw her unless you had to and you looked at her as if she was the enemy"
"Erin she was my enemy"
Erin stared at him and then wrapping her coat around her she sat down on the chair outside his house and sighed running her hand through her hair. Danny noticed that her wedding rings caught on the strands and he resisted the urge not to smile.
"Danny. She was your mother"
"Perhaps" he allowed. "But I was Jamie's brother at the end and she was the woman that told Jamie to go. You get that if she had not…that if he had not seen an article online about it, it could have been years before we saw him again if ever?"
She nodded and then she scrubbed a hand over her face.
"Jesus what a mess" she said finally. "This whole thing is just a mess. Jamie should have come to one of us. This whole thing could have been avoided if Jamie had just trusted one of us to get him out of this—"
"It's not his fault Erin he was a teenager."
"And it wasn't hers either. Danny…I know your angry. Please believe me when I say that I am angry too but I was there holding her hand through chemo, brushing what was left of her hair, sitting up with her trying to get her to eat and trying to keep her warm and listening to her cry for Jamie, for Dad, for you. It's not that black and white for me as it is for you and that was because I was the only one who bothered to be there. Who bothered to stay there with her."
There was a pause as Danny took another gulp of a beer and then.
"Well he's here now."
"What's your plan?"
"Dad says we have to go through the proper channels and that means family court. What are our options?"
Erin blew out a breathe, the lawyer part of her brain kicking in.
"Family court…proof that he's in a stable home which he is, proof that he is going back to school, therapist probably, spot check inspections to make sure he's not a risk to the baby, vaccinations…were all gonna get looked at here even Dad"
"Weren't we looked at back then?"
"You don't remember?"
"I remember getting the phone call from my CO that was it?"
Erin shrugged. "I don't remember that one but I do remember what came next. Cops, press, Internal Affairs, Detectives poking around wondering if their boss had snuffed his own kid, social workers speaking to Mom about what happened. Thank God Jamie was the youngest because otherwise I doubt we'd have kept any other one"
Danny sighed rubbing that spot between his head. The worry spot as Linda called it. She liked to kiss it after they had sex, or whenever he was getting worried too much. Danny usually liked it when it was after the first one.
"Okay. So we get the kid in school, we get him a therapist, hell we all get one I don't know I just…I don't want to add to any more worries. He's like a frightened rabbit Erin and that boy is the only thing keeping him grounded and I know…I know…I know it deep down in my bones that if we don't get a hold of him and keep him there then we are going to lose him. And this time it will be for real. He's good at keeping himself hidden Erin. He'll disappear from view and we will never see him again. Believe me on that."
His sister stared at him for a second tapping her nude coloured nails against his wood decking.
"I know" she said finally. "I spoke to Jack and he's gonna do all the legal terms…don't look at me like that Danny, Jack's a damn good lawyer and more to the point he's good in family court which is where this is going to be. He'll get Jamie through it alright. We just need to make sure that Jamie stays and obeys by the rules"
Danny nodded. He tapped his empty bottle on the wood decking and then.
"God I hope they don't ask us all to go to therapy. But It would just be like Jack to get the last laugh"
Erin just rolled her eyes.
But she didn't say Danny was barking up the wrong tree. And that was worrying.
When Jamie woke he was warm. He was very warm but there was something missing and he woke up stretching. He had fallen asleep in a bed which was unusual in itself but there was no Harrison with him and as he pushed himself up there was a knock at the door.
"Danny"
"Jamie" Danny said stepping into the room. "Just had a phone call from Linda and she says Harry's doing really well. Reckon once we've had something to eat we can go and get him. CPS will do a follow up in the morning"
There was a pause where he sat there and then he nodded. He wanted to get out of bed but he was too tired and too warm and his brain was sluggish. It was the food he thought as Danny stepped back into the room. The food and the warmth and the trust that had developed in the past few days had made him soft, blunted his edges.
"Good" he said pushing himself out of bed but Danny made a clucking noise as if he was an old mother hen and pointed back at the bed.
"We've got time Jay, get some sleep you look dead on your feet. Linda's with him, Grandpa is with him"
There was a pause as Jamie stared at him and then Danny sighed.
"Trust goes both ways Jamie" he said quietly. "I need you to trust me and I need to trust you. I can't…Jamie I can't go out wondering if you and Harry are going to be gone when I get back. I need…I need you to be in this with me"
Jamie stared at him and then he sat up pushing himself into the pillows.
"I didn't…I heard some of what you and Erin said…I didn't…I know I should have come to you back then. I couldn't have come to you because you were away but I could have gone to Joe. I know that. I just…she was so…she was so vile to me Danny…she made me feel like it would be an either or choice you know? I just…she was Mom…and I trusted her and she took that from me."
"Oh kid" Danny said softly and Jamie ran a hand under his eyes. He had never cried over it but…
"I want to be Harrison's Dad" he said finally. "I want to be normal again…I don't want to have to wonder where my next meal comes from. I just want to be able to raise my kid and be normal. I don't want to lose him Danny…I don't…I just…I don't know how to go back to that house and play happy families. I don't know how to trust anyone again"
Danny sighed for a second and then.
"God I wish I hadn't taken that second tour" he said fervently. "I wish to God I had been there with you Jamie when this happened. I wish to God that I could have spared you all of this. I just…"
"Hey I'm the one who knocked the girl up"
Danny shook his head and then his mouth twitched. "Jamie…are you staying?"
"Yes"
"Do you mean that?" Danny asked turning to look at him.
Jamie blew out a breathe and thought of his son. All of this was for him, all of this was for Harrison and making him safe, giving him a normal childhood. Just because Jamie's was over didn't mean that his son couldn't be normal.
There was a pause as he sat in that big bed and his brother watched him and he nodded finally. He didn't know what this was going to look like but he knew that he couldn't pick himself out of this warm bed and keep running. That was over. He had made the decision that this was going to be over when he had made the decision to come home.
"If I can stay here with you, if you…I mean if you and Linda don't mind then I will stay…I mean one day I want to get my own place and all that don't get me wrong but…but I can't stay in that house Danny…so if your in this with me…then I'm in this"
Danny watched him and then.
"I have your word then that if I leave this house you will be here when I get back. I know you'll have a life but…but you won't disappear anymore?"
Jamie breathed in and then breathed out and then…
"You have my word" was all he said and Danny made an abortive little gesture that might have been a sob but before Jamie could look further his brother was there pulling him into his arms and Jamie settled in realising only now just how scared Danny was and had been.
For a second the two of them hugged each other and then Danny pulled back wiping a hand down his face and then as if he was the child tucking Jamie back into bed again. Hell all that was missing was a stuffed toy.
"Sleep" his big brother intoned. "I'll ring Linda and then I'll order us a pizza and we'll watch some TV okay…maybe even see if Joe wants to come round." He smiled again. "And we need to get Harrison some stuff. Joe actually thinks that he is going to be godfather" he shook his head and then smoothed a hand back off Jamie's face like he had done when he was a little boy and he'd ran to his big brother for comfort when he'd had a nightmare."
Jamie opened his mouth to point out that he had not said he even wanted a godfather—and he really did need to nip this whole Harry business in the bud—but a giant yawn escaped and his brother smiled at him more a parent than he was a brother right now and he sat there in the dimly lit room as Jamie feel asleep again this time confident in the knowledge that in the morning everything might just for once be alright.
And there you go, I hope you enjoy. Next Chapter coming soon.
Next Chapter-Harrison is home, Jamie is home and the Reagan boys are having a bonding session. And then the conversation turns.