Darkest Hero
Once more into the breach as it were. For those who seem to of forgotten I do have spelling problems on my device with Alister, apparently that's the correct spelling according to even my new phone as it carried over through my Google account.
As per the usual I present the Q and A segment for your enjoyment.
Q: Wait, is that the warthog music?
A: you mean a puma, like a big cat.
Q: so is that Overhoe?
A: yes it is indeed Overhoe and he is getting his deserved punishment from Eri before he is handed off to IMP for bonus punishment.
Q: WE DIDNT START THE FIRE! THE TRASH FATHER WAS BURNING SINCE SHOTO'S BEEN LEARNING!
A: Wait... I haven't killed endeavour off yet have I? *Checks notes* no I haven't, no time travel shenanigans please.
Q: Was that a reference to Stactus Bush song from borderlands 2?
A: yeah, it was.
Q: [REDACTED]
A: doctor bright is reminded to stay out of fics not involving them.
Q: Did Eri reference Stitch?
A: Yes.
Chapter 41: Bad words.
"I'm gonna rip all your skin off, stick twenty needles in your eyeballs!" Eri sang as she began the bloody work of skinning the still screaming demon on the car floor.
"E-eri maybe not here please." Izuku shuddered.
"Hmm. Okay. I don't want to ruin oniichan's girlfriend's car." Eri nodded as she wobbled slightly while standing up, putting a booted foot on the demon's head as she did so.
"How can something so horrifying be so pure?" Sato asked in confusion.
"Urk." Uraraka gagged in horror as she stuck her head into a paper bag Momo gave her to be sick in.
"ALMOST THERE!" Charlie called from the front of the limo. "Non alcoholic drinks are under the middle table."
"Uh, is it ok for us? This isn't like the Hades thing where if we eat it we're stuck here right?" Sero asked in concern.
"Hey if it is and he eats it, I'm eating too." Toru huffed as she appeared to cross her arms under her bust, only visible thanks to the tarp.
"No, else we would be eternally enslaved to this realm of darkness and sin, never to walk again in the mortal coil." Tokoyami explained rather dramatically.
"It's safe, just avoid anything with Nether wart listed as an ingredient, it will give mortals explosive flatulence, literally explosive." Inko explained. "I remember one person back in the Victorian era who started a massive fire in some German town that way, odd fellow was obsessed with some yellow demons in overalls."
"If there's any Dip soda I'll have some." Izuku gave a shaky smile as Mina started rummaging through the drinks draw.
"Ugh, who wants paint remover as a soda flavor?" Mina frowned in disgust as she handed Izuku the soda.
"It's a common taste for fire related demons to develope." Charlie explained from the front while Izuku shrugged with a nervous chuckle.
"Wait so my weird ass cravings to go eat limestone isn't just me being weird? Why the fuck didn't mum tell Dad that would happen?" Mina scoffed as she threw her hands up in disbelief.
"Ugh my head." A voice groaned in pain. Looking to the back they quickly found Iida was stirring but still out of it.
"Mr Squishy. Here have one!" Eri chirped as she handed the Nomu, who had for the past half hour been sitting silently, a bottle of grape soda.
The Nomu blinked in apparent confusion before it ate the whole bottle in one bite.
"Hehe you're silly Mr Squishy." Eri giggled softly.
"Well we're here." Charlie called as the limo slowed to a stop next to a water fountain. The building that loomed over them was a Hodge podge of various styles and even the Titanic of all things was stuck to its side.
"Charlie had a budget." Izuku shrugged at the odd looks the class was directing towards the hotel.
"Uh... Is it, stable?" Kendo asked uncertainty.
"It is, just avoid rooms 13, 27, 42 and 666. The residents there will caw insanely into the abyss for intruding." Tokoyami intoned.
"He means they'll get mad." Reiko translated.
"Alright everyone out, all belongings left behind are forfeit." Araknis grinned as he swung open the door. "beauty before ugly." He chirped as he dashed out first.
"Sorry about him." Molly shrugged as she pulled a handgun from her cleavage and cocked the slide. "Asshole! Get back here for calling me ugly!"
"Oh fuck!" Araknis shouted as he made a dash for the patch of bushes to the right of the hotel.
"It's so pretty inside Mr Squishy! You can meet the cute club!" Eri called with excitement as she held the Nomu's hand and lead it inside the hotel ahead of the others, the massive creature having to slouch over for Eri to hold its hand.
"Anybody want to drag him face down or can I do it?" Inko asked as she gestured at the bound volture demon who was trying and failing to slink away while tied up in such a way their their hands couldnt touch anything. "No? More fun for me then. Come along Kai, my little girl isn't finished with you yet."
"MFFFFFGGMNMFFFFFFFF!" Kai screams of pain were muffled by his gag as he tried desperately to free himself as Inko dragged his face across the pavement of the hotel driveway.
As everyone entered those who hadn't been there were shocker at the decorations and somewhat of the sight of Nifty screaming as she started smashing a hammer on a recording device playing a now increasingly distorted version of inside every demon is a rainbow.
Eri meanwhile was giggling as she showed the Nomu around the foyer with a bright smile, even stopping to say hello to Husk who was as usual at the bar.
"Must protect baby." Kira chirped for the tenth time that day.
"I DONT GIVE A Sh-DAMN!" Bakugo snapped at Kira, censoring himself Infront of Eri.
"Indeed Eri is adorable." Inko hummed happily as she tossed Kai onto a clear space of floor.
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH BITCH OR I WILL DO IT FOR YOU!" Kai snapped, having gotten his gag loose enough to scream at Inko. "YOU AND THE BRAT ARE DISEASED VERMIN WHO NEED TO BE EXTERMINATED! YOU HEAR ME?! FUCK YOU I WILL KILL YOU!"
"Mummy what's Fuck and Bitch mean?" Eri asked in scared and soft tone as she hid behind the Nomu, looking fearfully at Kai. A snap was heard as everyone balked in horror. Kai froze fearfully as he felt Inko's eyes on him.
"Please don't kill him in the lobby." Charlie asked as Inko continued to glare at a now visibly shaking ex mafia boss.
"You my unfortunate soul will pay for teaching my daughter those terms." Inko gave a strained smile with an eye twitch.
"Basement level 2, room 8." Charlie sighed as she gestured at the elevator before tossing a keycard at Inko.
"Thankyou my dear." Inko beamed brightly as she dragged Kai to the elevator, kicking and screaming even as the doors closed behind them and the elevator made its way down.
"Stay here or on floor two, I'm going to grab the first aid kit to patch you two up properly, stay on the couches okay?" Charlie asked as she practically dragged Thirteen and Aizawa to the couch next to where Iida got dumped. "Tokoyami could you help me? Needs two to carry."
"Such burdens shall heal the fractured living." Tokoyami intoned with a nod as he followed Charlie out of the room, not knowing the shitshow they were about to avoid.
"But what does fuck and bitch mean?" Eri asked uncertainty as she looked at the remaining people in the room making several people do spittakes at her language.
"Not it." Aizawa deadpanned.
"Nope. Too pure to ruin. Bakugo, you do it." Thirteen instructed.
"ARE YOU INSANE?! AUNTIE WOULD KILL ME!" Bakugo screeched in horror.
"Nope." Kendo instantly spoke up.
"What do they mean?" Eri asked pleadingly as she gave Izuku the puppy eyes look.
"Uh well you see uh..." Izuku gulped before he bolted. "Sorrycantruinyourlife!" He pelted off before sprinting up the stairs with most of the class in tow leaving the teachers and the passed out Iida to watch Eri with Husk and Nifty who was still trying to kill the recording of Inside every demon is a rainbow.
"It means have special adult time and he called you mum a dog's ugly mum." Husk explained with no tact at all.
"B-but mummy isn't ugly." Eri sobbed sadly. As the Nomu picked her up, placing her on its shoulder as it walked up the stairs towards where the others had fled to.
"Damnit I can't stand seeing kids cry even if they are demonic brats." Aizawa sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"InsiDE of everY DEmoN iS a rainBOW." The distorted recording pelted off once more as the door was opened revealing Alister strutting in.
"DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!" Nifty shrieked in an insane rage as she slammed her hammer onto the device with a maddened frenzy. "NO MORE RANBOWS! NO MORE RAINBOWS! NONE! HAHHAHAHA!"
"Well ladies and gentlemen I will admit I hadn't expected that." Alister admitted in slight shock at the sight of Nifty going caveman on the device. With a slight shrug Alister turned his attention to the others in the room. "Finally kicked off from the mortal coil have we good sir?"
"Nope. Lament configuration. " Aizawa sighed. "Midoriya's mother bailed us out."
"Ah I was wondering when they would finally become reunited again." Alister have a fanged smile and a wistful sigh of melancholy. "Perhaps reintroductions are in order once I can find Inko to help explain things."
"She's in basement level 2 and room 8." Aizawa deadpanned.
"Very well, I shan't be long. Good day sirs, madams." Alister bowed politely before he walked towards the elevator, whistling a tune as he did so.
[Earth, Japan. Hosu city]
A figure panted as they came down from an adrenaline high, the forms of several paralyzed...winged animal...things... were laid out around him in the dark alleyway.
"Well I have no clue who you fakes are but you're worse than the normal lot. Ah well, time to die!" The figure grinned insanly as they stalked forwards, their blade scraping across the ground before they swung. Two of the four were dead in an instant leaving a dear in a blue dress and a frog thing. "Ah to be purging the world of the fake heroes one at a time."
"whoa whoa whoa! Wait!" The dear one pleaded. "If you want to purge the world I can help you there!"
"Words a cheap fake." The figure snarled as they learnt forwards revealing a red bandanna with eye slits cut it it and a stubby scar where their nose should be.
"Kill the frog and sneer the blood in a circle around her, what else do you have to lose?!" The dear screeched fearfully.
"WHAT?! YOU BACK STABBER! HOW COULD YOU!" The frog screamed in horror.
"You were just a stepping stone!" The dear shot back waspishly. "Always praying around like you are better than everyone and always being so rude to others!"to
"Yack yack yack." The figure scoffed as they impaled their blade into the winged frog.
"Good now just draw a circle around them and the book for purging this world will appear, it'll take a few weeks to set up but once it's going the sinners of the world will all be dead!" The dear explained in a hurried and half insane tone.
"I don't trust you, however let's just see if you're as full of shit as your friends were." The figure scoffed as they drew the circle of blood, as if they were here to redeem him, bunch of bulkshitters.
The second the circle was completed a red glow eminated from the corpse of the frog before the blood formed into a large ball of the red liquid and popped leaving behind a brown leather book with glowing red symbols. A circle emblazoned its cover surrounding a goats skull with a square on the forehead framing a pentagram.
"Lets work together yeah? You and me?" The dear asked nervously. "With my help we can purge the wicked of this world in a few weeks, all we need is the creature from this book Mr Stain."
"And just what is this... Creature?" Stain asked, still somewhat sceptotically.
The dear gulped nervously as they licked their lips. "Its ancient, nigh unstoppable only the Slayer could ever really-"
"I am telling you to explain now." Stain growled making the dear shudder.
They gulped, looking up at the sword mere inches from their face. "They call it, the icon of Sin."
End.
Boom cliffhanger!
Thoughts?
Ideas?