Darkest Hero
Q and A segment has begun.
Q: OH GOD WHY IS HE BILL?!
A: Who else better fit the Bill?
Q: The LoV is screwed isn't it?
A: Yes.
Q: Petition to have Kai strung up by his nads and wrapped in barbed wire and salt?
A: what do you think Inko did to him?
Chapter 43: Calls and Mineta's fright
Momo hummed softly as she went about cooking up S'mores for people while Izuku was trying to help Eri who insisted that she wanted to help. The small girl had a look of pure concentration on her face as she slowly turned a metal poker with a marshmallow on the end, the heat from the fire transfering into the rod not that either minded the temperature of it. Although none of them realised it, Alister and Inko were cooing at them while recording the cooking attempt using an old wind up film reel camera from a balcony that overlooked the main dining area, the same balcony that happened to lead to the poker room where several piles of poker chips were set up for later.
Ochako and Kyoka were helping Tsu tie up her hair so she didn't wrap herself in it during her sleep and Shoto was off to the side using ice to chill his S'more before taking a bite much to the horror of Mina and Kirishima who called him a monster for doing so. Thirteen who had been patched up by Charlie was trying to keep order amongst Rieko, Kira, tokoyami and Saji who had taken it upon themselves to try and gross out Angel dust who was trying just as hard. Bakugo was off in his corner blockaded behind a pair of upturned tables while Nifty tried to peak over but was sadly too short to annoy the blonde. Iida was bundled up in one corner, eyes wide and shaking in fear while Kendo tried to calm him down enough to be rational.
Charlie herself was on the phone in her office trying to calm down Vaggie, Ibara and Loona since they had been gone the entire day now.
A loud explosion shook the building violently followed by twin laughter from a male and female voice.
"BAXTER! HATSUME!" Charlie screamed in annoyance. "NO EXPLOSIONS PAST 4PM WHICH WAS THREE HOURS AGO!"
"Uh everything good?" Ibara asked, concern lacing her words.
"Yeah unfortunately there was a teeny tiny little problem of Mei meeting Baxter." Charlie gave a nervous laugh.
"There goes the insurance premium." Vaggie could be heard sighing in the background.
"Uh j-just make sure you and izu-sama are safe. If not...well I guess pink bitch is on the menu." Ibara growled softly.
"Hey no eating people." Charlie scolded, pointing at the floor knowing full well Ibara couldn't see her. "Wild ones only, okay?"
"Alright fine." Ibara's pout could easily be heard in her words. "We should probably let you guys get to sleep anyway, see you all soon."
"Seeya later Ibara, you and Vaggie keep Loona out of trouble." Charlie smiled softly.
"Fuck off." Loona snorted in mild amusement in the background. "The damned rat made me swap my rounds for rubber ones."
"Seeya soon Charls." Vaggie called.
"See you tomorrow charlie-san!" Ibara chirped before hanging up.
"Right." Charlie sighed as she returned the phone to the receiver before picking it up again and starting turning the old dial up ring clockwise, stopping at a number and letting to reset to the black slot before repeating until she had soaked up the number 666-356, the number for IMP.
The phone rang a few times before a beep was heard. "When you want somebody gone and you don't wanna wait too long, call the Immediate Murder Professionals!~ please leave a message after the beep."
Beep.
"Hey Blitz, it's Charlie, can you come over to the hotel as soon as you're able to? We need transport for a large group to the human world and I'm willing to pay upfront, Loona is safe on Earth before you panic, some villains used a Lament configuration at the school and we're stranded. Thanks Biltz I'll see you soon." Charlie sighed as she hung up the phone once she was done.
Standing up she made her way out to the main hallways in the upper levels of the hotel, passing a soot covered Baxter and Mei who were dragging a bulky looking contraption to the waste disposal shoot. She shook her head at that, it had to of been a MAJOR dud for those two to just junk it.
"Mei when you're done it's time to sleep, you can't invent when tired." Charlie called. "Blitz go to sleep or I'm removing your mail order privileges."
"Eep!" The anglerfish demon squeaked in fear, mail order was the only way he was able to continue his experiments after all.
Reaching the elevator Charlie pushed the ground floor button as she stepped inside and hummed along to the elevator music as it made its way to the ground floor. After a short 20 seconds the doors opened with a ding sound and she stepped out to the main lobby where Cherry bomb was just locking the doors for the night.
Walking into the main dining room which was doubling as a camping area for the students, Charlie quickly noticed the adorable sight that was her boyfriend and his little sister trying to perfectly cook a marshmallow.
"So, what time should this help be arriving?" Aizawa asked as he wriggled over in the yellow sleeping bag he seemed to take with him everywhere.
"Probably around 9 given IMP opens at 8 and there's roughly a fifty minute drive between here and there." Charlie admitted with a shrug, still keeping an eye on Izuku and Eri.
"Great." Aizawa sighed. "Joke is gonna be more clingy than normal when I get back."
"Aw but you two look so cute together though." Thirteen grinned under her helmet, using two hands to seperate Mina from Angel dust when they two decided to see who had better style which broke into a small fight.
"You're lucky I can't give you detention." Aizawa grunted tiredly.
[Elsewhere]
Mineta groaned in pain as he limped out of the hospital. Say what you will about hell but atleast they had free healthcare. His left leg was still in a bandage and his face was bright red after being singed in the explosion.
He was barely two Meyers down the road when a car pulled up besides him and the window was wound down revealing a man with a telephone for a head.
"Where have you been? You're late for your shift at the pizzaria!" The man growled.
"With the killer robot animals?! No thanks!" Mineta scoffed with a shudder of fear.
"You are under contract short stack now get in or I'll make sure you'll be stuff into one of the suits personally, now, GET. IN." The man growled.
"F-fine!" Mineta stuttered as he quickly climbed into the back seat.
"Splendid!" The man chuckled with a jolly tone as the car sped down the street towards the pizzaria.
Mineta however was shaking, he barely survived his first night in the pizzaria and spent most of it running in the vents being chased by the two headed robot fox thing.
"Hurry up now." The man chuckled as the car skidded to a stop outside the pizzaria. A bored looking imp was tapping their foot, checking their watch as they waited by the door. "Hey barny, found him!"
"Thank fucking caine." The imp sighed as Mineta was shoved inside and the doors locked. "I need a shower, some brat decided to throw pizza at my face, still have some stuck on my horns I swear."
"Well hurry up, the bars don't close but I don't want to miss happy hour!" The phone headed demon chuckled as the imp climbed into the back seat and they sped off. Mineta whimpered fearfully as he watched his salvation drive away.
"There's a shadow on the wall; stay calm, stay calm" Mineta sung softly to himself as the shadow he knew belonged to the fucking bird ghosted across the wall and out of sight as he sprinted to the security room and waited.
"There's a figure in the hall; stay calm, stay calm, Keep my wits and stay alive." Mineta sobbed softly as the fucking blue rabbit lumbered towards the door. With a buzz, the door dropped down, sealing off the hallway.
"Wish I had a 9 to 5" he whimpered as he watched the rabbit lumber back the way it came, it's red eyes blazing in the dark pizzaria.
"There's a stranger in us all; stay calm, stay calm." The rabbit mocked, it's metalic voice drifting through the pizzaria like a buzzing swarm of bees.
"Every hair is on it's end; that's fine, I'm fine Feeling my adrenaline; that's fine, I'm fine" Mineta shivered as the clanking of mechanical servos was joined in concoffoni by two more of the robots moving around.
"I can keep away the creeps Safely from my swivel seat" Mineta hummed to himself, half derranged as he peaked over the back of the seat at the security cameras. A echoing of metal on metal sheets filled his ears.
"Somethings crawling through the vent; that's fine, ...uh oh" Mineta eeped as he slammed down the vent metal cover, knowing full well he couldn't keep it shut or he'd pass out from lack of oxygen. A metallic thump and cursing signalled the thing in the vents hit the grate cover before the thudding grew distant.
"There's a ghost in the machine; stay calm, stay calm They are watching through the screen; stay calm, stay calm" Mineta chanted to himself as he saw a ghostly figure of a small child briefly drift out of Fazbear, the only robot he knew the name of before it was yanked back in by ghostly wires.
"They just might drive me crazy. Hit me!" Mineta sobbed as he slapped his own face. Hell he could deal with, killer robots no way!
"Hey kids, nice to meet ya! Are you ready for some Fazbear pizza?" Freddy sung in a jolly tone, absently snagging a piece of pizza left on a plate by the stage and smooshing it into their gaping metal maw, the pizza simply being grinded to paste through the gears.
"Who's this, working at the night shift?" Bonny asked as he peered down the right hallway only to blink in shock as the small demon shrieked and slammed the door shut.
"I don't know, but I don't think I like him." Freddy admitted as he frowned at the demon who was being rude enough to hide from them.
"He's so cute! I can feel his heart racing!" Chika giggled in a tone reminiscent of the yandere type of characters from anime.
"About time we had a brand new plaything!" Mangle sung from above in a falsetto, their two heads hanging out of the vent above the main dining hall.
"Another yellow belly balking like a chicken!" Foxy scoffed as he flung open the curtain around pirate cove and marched out.
"Hey!" Chika gasped back, offended by the comparison.
"Listen gang, I say that we dig in" Freddy chuckled darkly as he picked up a pizza cutter from the same table he grabbed the discarded slice.
"They are slowly closing in; stay calm, stay calm, find an inner strength within; stay calm, stay calm." Mineta sobbed to himself, snot running down his nose as he jammed a bookshelf in the back of the room against the left side door where the animatronics were banging the door.
"If I've learned one thing it's that: don't respond to craigslist ads." Mineta hiccuped before freezing in fear at the sight before him. Chika was pressed against the glass, it's beak wide open revealing the endoskeleton within." I can see their second skin; stay calm..."
"In the end there's only me; all right, all right Morning sun will set me free; all right, all right, I'm done with Five Nights at Freddy's. Bite me!" Mineta screeched as he swung the fire extinguisher at Mangle as it kept out of the vent and ran into the vent himself, he knew it lead to an external grate and he damned well wasn't going to die here!
"Hey, where did our new friend go?" Chika pouted, or as best a robotic chicken could.
"Don't worry, he'll be back again tomorrow." Freddy tried to reassure Chika, patting their shoulder as he did so.
"So, uh, does he not go to the bathroom, or does he just hold it in all night?" Bonny asked in confusion as the door lost power and lifted up revealing there was no other door in the room asides the right hand side hallway one.
"Aye, he pees into a cup." Foxy admitted, gesturing to a cup of yellow liquid which was spilt on Mangle.
"Ewww..." Mangle groaned, realising what they were covered in.
"I've seen him do it with me own eye. We were both just staring at eachother. It was extremely awkward." Foxy admitted, scratching the back of their head with their hook while looking to the side.
End.
Thoughts?
Ideas?
Any other pairings you want to see?