So My Girl's A Devil V2

by Kratos 57 naruto

What happens when a familiar face meets different circumstances and is taken to a world of angels, devils, dragons and gods? Upon arriving, his mind registered his deracination as an opportunity to shelve the blade, and that he did. Too much blood had been spilled, the war roiled the world for too long and the kindness he was pomped for was in tatters. Harem. Grey Naruto.

1. Chapter 1

Hi, I'm not new and you probably remember me for writing the cringiest DxD fic on this site. Guess what? I'm back with a overhaul and stuff. Grammar will suck because I legit don't have time to go over it. Will move in a couple days and need to make prep for university etc etc. Real world responsibilities.

Paragraphs likely won't be very cohesive, lots of comma splices and yes, grammatical errors and odd sentences I forgot to delete. Right now I'm prioritizing the remake of my god of shinobi fanfic which contains a massive overhaul of Naruto, its history and its systems. Please check my profile for that in a couple days. With that said, welcome. I am Kratos 57 Naruto and I present with a fanfiction you shouldn't have high hopes for. It's a fucking harem, what you expect?

Also also, be warned of a little edge and angst and whatever. Warning aside, standard formatting applies with thoughts bijuu and everything etc etc. If you are invested in the chakra system I am remaking, do feel free to slide in PM so I can tell you when the overhaul of my overhaul of Naruto is out.

Anyways, I am a molester of grass.

Enjoy or hate.

Leave a review telling me what I can do better besides showing, telling and grammar etc etc. Bye. Also, quick warning, I suck at managing time in stories so if you find yourself scratching heads when I mention dates, ignore it and blame it my idiocy. Now, this incompetent loser is done talking. Read now.

Edit: For some reason I forgot to mention this chapter contains references to YouTubers like Longbeachgriffy and Cilvanis and a bunch of media like Scary movie, South Park, Jojo and other stuff.

Thanks to the reviews given. Made some adjustments to chapter which I hope makes it better than the first version.

Formatting

"Speech"

"Thoughts or hearing someone from a distance." -Someone saying something in between someone's words-

"Inhuman speech"

"You get the idea."

"Jutsu, Attacks, and Magic"

-Flashback. Because it is italized, thoughts and speech will swap places. Because it will be confusing to spot flash backs, I'll add this -[-]- symbol to tell you it's starting and stuff.

-Telling a story

Chapter 1

Glossary(Optional; for people who like technical stuff):

Chakra entropy: a scale measuring the amount of chakra a locality can take before it becomes impossible to cast chakra-based jutsu

Retaliation: a period where the physical laws of the world and the mystic laws of chakra end up in a cluttered state, resulting in a series of unnatural events occuring such as gravity randomly inverting, lightning appearing with no cloud in sight and more.

Chakra echo: chakra signature someone leaves behind after being stationary for a period or casting a jutsu.

Somewhere In The Land of Iron

A sharp crack splinted the table at the head of the seat. The five individuals in the space were dressed in pallid haori, with their sole differentiators, besides their wearer's physical appearance, being the coloured robes, kimono, they sat on. Rectangular hats with attached veils sat before them on the rumbling table—five colours for five elements.

Red for fire, brown for earth, green for wind, yellow for lightning, and blue for water. The five kage of the Five Elemental Nations had gathered at the bottom and center of a primarily wood and leather-composed, spherical auditorium and had a shadow on their bodies. Its progenitor was an oblong mass of twitching and undulating water.

All around them, above in layered booths, were dozens of workers, some were shinobi who sat with a full lotus while their palms were raised at the sphere as their temples trickled with rivulets of sweat, while others ran around with paraphernalia. There were five secretaries, all female and garbed in black suits with pencil skirts, positioned higher but behind their respective kage and inked away minutes on the paper.

The five kage were; Hatake Kakashi–of the sharingan–from Konoha, Kitsuchi from Iwagakure, Subaku no Gaara from Sunagakure, Terumi Mei from Kirigakure, and Ay from Kumogakure.

The muscular copper-skinned man's sole arm was levitating in the space where the desk had shattered from the brunt of his monstrous strength. His throat trembled a baritone sound like a volcano prepping to erupt, and then the words in all their hearts escaped from his lips.

"DAMNIT ALL! THAT BLOODY ZETSU!"

"Your frustration is understandable, lord Ay, but please keep a cool head." Kakashi's coal eyes speared at the righted Raikage, not masking their reciprocated agitation. At his request, the corner of Ay's lips twitched. The Hokage's voice was smooth and lax in comparison to most shinobi, but it also betrayed the immense power behind them.

The only current shinobi who could claim to be his superior without getting scorned and ridiculed were the current god of shinobi and the shinobi god candidate, Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. Kakashi's loss of his Sharingan hardly affected his strength; it just meant his fights would take longer due to the loss of his precognitive abilities, but the bright side is that it afforded him much more chakra.

"Tch!" Ay smacked his lips as Mei and Kitsuchi looked at him with sympathy. News of a part of his country being struck by the umpteenth natural disaster that week sheared at his ears. Settlements worldwide had fallen to recovery after the year-and-a-half-long Fourth Great Ninja War. Another year had passed to place them in the place they were currently.

"What of the brat and his shadow?" Ay inquired, placing his lone arm on the unfractured section of the rapidly regenerating desk.

"May I answer that Lord Raikage?" chimed a voice that belonged to a man dressed in Konoha's standard jounin uniform.

"You may," he grunted and the shinobi climbed the railing of his gallery and jumped down to stand beside the esteemed kage.

The man nodded and raised his hands to fly through a series of hand seals before throwing forth his right palm and cracking it against the desk's surface. His latent energy flowed into the desk. Chakra then puffed out of the table's surface as a mist that coalesced into a mirror-like object depicting the moon.

Then an additional layer of chakra rose above it and shifted into a misty gradient like blood diffusing in water.

It looked like an inverted heatmap.

"Before you, my lords and lady, is a recent chakra echo map of the moon," he explained. Chakra echoes are residue radiated chakra. As someone would leave a fingerprint on a door if they touched it, someone would leave pieces of their chakra by being present somewhere. Chakra echo maps are like heatmaps and can decipher the elements of jutsu used in a locality.

"Like the signature globally forcing chakra entropy to its limit, it is similar to the one Toneri Otsutsuki, his majestic excellency, the god of shinobi, Uzumaki Naruto, defeated in the war," he reported while straightening his back and placing his hand on his chest.

"Ah, I was soldier then… Was it during the period, we had a truce with Uchiha Madara, where he would keep the moon in orbit with his power while the god battled the threat." Kitsuchi leaned against the palm his hand and tilted his head.

"That is correct, sir."

"Two Otsutsukis?!" Gaara's eyes flew open as he lurched forward. There was one roaming free on earth, and the effects of their presence caused natural disasters, so the news there was another on the moon justified Gaara's agitation. He and the kage knew how dangerous these individuals were as Naruto's squad, codename Samsara, was nearly slaughtered by one if not for a special poison.

"Yes, sir. The Otsutsuki on the moon seems to have been no threat because the echo map depicts his chakra decreasing rapidly and dispersing while Uchiha Sasuke's remains constant. The pair are still on the moon, and the Otsutsuki there is deceased, leaving us with the one at the border of the land of lightning," the nameless shinobi explained.

A dead creature never stopped radiating chakra; their body only stopped producing it. Therefore, the map displayed the truth. There were also no void vestiges on the echo map. Void is an element of Otsutsuki chakra that allows them to open portals, even without Kekkei Mora.

"With graphs and probes at the satellite, we have determined some kind of barrier has been erected around the moon, and its nature prevents Six Paths Powers from departing, but it will fall in due course. Both are aware of the happenings on Earth and are working on piecing it apart with our barrier squad's assistance."

"Mmmm… this is quite the problem. Lord Hokage, what of you and lady Tsunade's predecessors?" Kitsuchi questioned Kakashi, who was lightly rubbing his temple and mentally citing a comrade's catchphrase, "troublesome."

"Excuse my lack of inform, but I have taken the liberty to send them to your territories to deal with Retaliation. Last I checked, lord Tobirama was at Kirigakure, keeping the tides in control, while lord Hashirama was on a global pilgrimage, using his Kekkei Gen Kai and sen jutsu to relieve global entropy. Lord Sarutobi was in Iwagakure with your daughter, controlling the earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. My teacher is currently flickering from country to country, divvying up affected refugees and helping Mobile Task Force Tau 5, Samsara, defeat and reseal monsters that escaped because of entropy's limits." Kakashi discussed, waving and gesticulating his hand in his typical lax manner.

"Oh, Lord Tobirama is with Mobile Task Force Gamma 6, Deep Feeders. I forgot to mention that, my apologies," Kakashi added.

The other kage, muted, stared at Kakashi wide-eyed.

"… The pace of your response is commendable. I believe I speak for everyone here when I say thank you," Mei expressed, her blackened and sagging eyes flickering brightly, dragging her lips upward. The other Kage lowered their heads to conduct a traditional thank you.

"You there," Ay called to the shinobi who had explained Naruto and Sasuke's circumstances.

"Sir," he responded.

"Display an echo map of the Otsutsuki's last known location," Ay commanded.

"What is this about, lord Raikage?" inquired Gaara.

"Before I explain this, know that I have no negative intent toward the pair on the moon. These are the weapons we failed to deploy during the final battle against the ten tails, and their purpose was to give our shinobi a better fighting chance against the eight tails." The raikage's words prefaced while his eyes peered into the eyes of his comrades to display sincerity.

"Ah yes, your village was victim to frequent escapes by the eight tails, and these situations worsened with it pushing entropy to its limit," Kakashi mused, and Ay nodded in response.

Chakra entropy is a scale measuring the amount of chakra a locality can take before it becomes impossible to cast chakra-based jutsu. An excellent way to see this is by viewing it as humidity. When it's too humid, your sweat can't evaporate, and when this knowledge is applied to chakra you'll get "for most chakra techniques to work, chakra has to be expelled."

The main reason monsters were being hunted, by Minato and Samsara, was most barriers and seals required maintenance in the form of expelled chakra; trained people kept pushing special chakra into the seal. Entropy was at its limit, meaning that no shinobi, monk, or samurai could expel chakra, causing the compromisation of the seals.

"Your understanding is appreciated, Kakashi… my village developed anti-entropy canons," Ay explained as the mapping shinobi constructed another echo map. "And these canons also work as chakra destabilizers, making them extremely effective against entities with massive reserves… Excellent. Her position is convenient. Deploying the canons there will be easy," Ay explained before devolving into pragmatic and pensive musing.

Ay snapped away from his reverie and pushed his strong eyes at his companions. "My proposal is we send Samsara's Konohamaru Corps, my brother, Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Neji and Hanabi, and our guard, The Red Right Hand, to battle and deteriorate this threat before those two descend," Ay said, and the conclusion erupted every kage besides him and Kakashi off their seats.

"Lord Raikage!" Mei squeaked in shock.

"What in the world are you thinking?!" Gaara asked.

"Ino?! Are you trying to get the boy to go on a rampage again? You do remember what happened when Madara killed lady Tsunade, right? You want that to repeat on a far larger scale? Scattered they may be, but the saying never poke an Uzumaki still stands!" Kitsuchi roared as sweat trickled down his temple.

There was a reason why Naruto was also called the mortal god of destruction. The maxim Kitsuchi cited details the intense episodes of rage most Uzumaki's were prone to. Their chakra was special in that it responded to their emotions, not unlike the Uchiha and Senju.

When you agitate an Uzumaki, and in this case, Naruto, victims will deal with more than just a barrage of jutsu flying their way. Some Uzumakis have chakra with special properties, such as Kushina's all-restricting chains and Naruto's "Uzumaki mode," which few could deal with.

"The brat won't destroy another country again if that's what you are asking. When Tsunade was killed, he deliberately avoided our forces, and the effects we felt were just a consequence of his miscalculation. He isn't some rabid dog but the finest shinobi in pre and post-history. It's necessary, and we all know it. He will know it," Ay defended, tapping a meaty finger against the desk.

"I cannot recommend this, but I have run through numerous simulations," Kakashi said slowly in chime, his voice for once tumbling with weight. No one observed Naruto lose comrades and loved ones more than he and Sasuke. Sakura during their first "real" mission, Chouji during Sasuke's rescue, Guy and Tsunade during the war, to name a few.

"Right now, this Otsutsuki we assume is in cohorts with Zetsu can cast Infinite Tsukiyomi at her leisure. We don't know why she hasn't cast it yet, but evidence points at the pair's presence. Zetsu took Madara's lower half, which had the gedo statue and Obito's corpse ripe with the ten tails chakra," Kakashi said, his fist swelling blue then paling as his fingers constricted around themselves more and more.

"And this Otsutsuki feels like an amalgam of them all, except currently weaker. Ino created a jutsu that lets her produce a poison extremely deadly to Otsutsuki, and her strength will rival my current power in a few years, so she is S-ranked at least," Kakashi explained slowly, forcing his thumping heart to still. Kakashi's power is currently S+ ranked, which means he is in league with most gods of shinobi in history.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

The swirling and wobbling orb of water echoed through the chamber. Even the workers had ceased movement and spotted despondent expressions on their faces despite being shinobi trained against that. Naruto was beloved in the alliance, after all. The young man bordering his twenties, was known to sit with the dying, recording their last words over cigarettes and alcohol, if permitted.

Formerly cheerful and bombastic, the aloof god of shinobi took the livelihood of his allies to the nth degree, and often abandoned his allocated rest and recovery periods to rescue those in trouble.

"We are tied… but we must do this, even if we risk his trust," Ay explained in place of Kakashi.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Seeing the kage unwilling to force the words out and progress the discussion, the mapping shinobi stepped above his station and said, "All in favour?"

"Aye." Ay muttered.

"Aye." Mei mumbled.

"…Aye." Gaara whispered.

All eyes fell on Kakashi.

"…Aye."

[-]

A decade or so later.

The maxim all in the mercenary-soldier profession followed was, "We shinobi don't cry; we bleed". Naruto Uzumaki, the current God of Shinobi, was no exception to the rule. Still, on this particular day, he and probably many other shinobi in his former dimension had temporarily recanted this law.

Instead of blood, tears were shed.

According to his internal calendar, the day was the Shinobi's Elegy, a period when humanity borrowed from shinobi by duty was returned. The purpose was to allow shinobi a day with their fallen allies, and naturally, this led to it being as consequential as the Samsara Festival–their equivalent to Christmas.

With the Shinobi's Elegy upon him, the walls of invincibility the shinobi erected to rampart himself from the outside world crumbled. He was sat on a bough, in a generic park, on his lonesome, eyes swelling slightly and obscuring objects like a window after a deluge. Rumination about what the present would be like if he had been better, if they had been better, and if circumstances favoured them clouded his mind.

Naruto's childhood was anything but bright. As an aspiring tyke, he had proven himself to be a workaholic, so much so he scaled the gaps torn open by talent. For luck is the point of union between toiling and opportunity, Naruto was inducted into Hashirama Senju Memorial Academy, the world's finest shinobi school and Leaf Village's Main Academy.

Misfortune is when circumstances deny the union of effort and opportunity. Like the villagers, bigotry from his peers and teachers denied him the latter, consigning him to being the loser they believed he was.

As painful as it was, he withstood it, and as a result of everyone disliking him, he developed a strong sense of love and loyalty for those who had treated him as an equal. It was so great that the death of one Sakura Haruno on their Wave mission led to him almost breaking.

Regardless of the state of mind that burdened him through his teenagehood, Naruto stood tall and confidently, even if he stopped outright smiling. Even if the world itself was toxic to him, the people he cherished had done so much for him.

In a world where right was always wrong. In a world where words and affection for thy brother were meaningless. In a world where killing was always easier than talking, Naruto found himself being an abnormal shinobi because he always took a moment to diffuse the situation, if possible verbally. That was his fabled "Talk no jutsu."

The darkness that festered in his heart didn't become him, but it was not to be neglected, so he accepted it as part of him. This reflection on his darkness allowed others to project their gripes on him and find salvation through him in their own way.

As shinobi killed, the idea of someone's life being valuable degraded until it no longer existed, turning them into monsters who often had a bad rep with civilians. Naruto's body count was one of the highest in shinobi history, but still, he didn't dare treat other people like dirt to be stomped on. He could be grumpy, yes, but he never killed needlessly.

His precious people reminded him of life's value.

He held a sweet popsicle stick in his hand because tradition demanded commemoration be done by doing the things you remembered a person by. While assured Sasuke was alive, he still commemorated the man. He also commemorated his deceased American family and his lovers - Hyuuga Hinata and Yamanaka Ino, polygamy – and more.

Concluding it with Jiraiya's memory, Naruto had consumed a few ice lolis, then relived their happier moments together. "That's enough… I should head back to the house," his thoughts expressed.

Recollection shepherded a sigh out his lips, and his neck bent back, guiding his opening eyes to the sweeping rooftops ahead. Glowing signs shaped like kanji, katakana and hiragana illuminated glossy and metallic carriage-like miniature trains as well as the odd dark-gray, almost black-painted roads.

Nearby, he heard many civilians chattering, none looking at each other, instead holding blocky apparatuses to their ears. A sigh of admiration slipped from his lips. He appreciated the new world's technological feats.

A decade marked his tenure in it, yet he couldn't stop being awestruck by it, even if he had enough computer knowledge to shame someone pursuing a master's degree; game development was one of his favourite pass times.

-[-]-

-"Quickly, Obito! Trust us! Take our chakra before we are gone. It will guide your space-time nin jutsu!" A nine-tailed fox with a humanoid torso roared as it thrashed against golden chains radiating purple. The eight other beasts, each with lesser tails than it/him/her depending on who you asked, simply spat jutsu at a shirtless and heavily bruised Obito leaning against a black staff.

"Gakido: Absorption Blocking Seal,"Obito stated, with his palm raised at the tailed beasts' attack. Wheeling around to face his camatose former enemies, Obito's lone black eye flickered red and a black design shaped like a shuriken.

"Kamui!"

-[-]-

-"Uzumaki?! How did you?! I killed you a week ago! Tch! That brat Obito." The white-haired man robed in ivory grimaced as the staff he had raised to block an arm coated in misty golden chakra quivered. "And your strength. No one should be relative to me. How did you?"

"Shut up and dance, geezer," Naruto coldly said, peering his golden eyes into Madara's lone Rinnegan. His left hand rose, and a miniature sun flared into existence alongside a black orb surrounded by a white ring, nearly causing Madara's eyes to pop from their socket.

"Multiplex casting: Lava release: Rasenshuriken

Dai Rasenringu." Naruto invoked his masterpiece, the multiplex jutsu. It allowed him to cast multiple jutsu in unison without clones.

-[-]-

-"My descendant too?! And you have a Rinnegan! Unbelievable! This is excellent! Uzumaki! You alone were better than Might Guy, and I can't help but wonder if I can defeat you two! HAHAHAHA!" Madara's manic laughter tore past the hellscape rolling with clouds of dust. "This is Hashirama and I all over again!"

"Let us revel. Revel in our eviscerated forms and let the throes of each others' blows and blood echo into our corporeal forms!"

[-]

The memories of his various battles with the ghost of the Uchiha haunted the boy. Not one of their encounters was bereft of senseless destruction because they were both powerful. This is why when Madara's corpse disappeared, it was such a big deal that morality was ignored to keep the reanimation jutsu on Kakashi and Tsunade's predecessors for when Zetsu would return.

-[-]-

-"I'm uncomfortable with this, but Kakashi-sensei is right, Sasuke. For us to stand a chance against Zetsu and whatever he will cook up, we need to ascend to the moon and use Toneri's pocket dimension to train," Naruto said to his black-haired partner.

"Hmm… fine. But our ascent has to be a secret," he stoically replied. "It will be a good opportunity to master this eye's space-time manipulation, my black flames, and more."

"Yeah. And I need to expand on my Yin, Yang and Yin-Yang release, black wind and lightning," Naruto replied with equal plainness, except a small smile crested his lips. One glance at Naruto caused Sasuke's lips to twitch upward as well.

"Uhhh… are you gonna kiss, or something? Should I leave?" A blonde, voluptuous young woman in purple asked, staring at her lover, Naruto, and her former crush bemusedly.

""WE ARE NOT GAY, GODDAMNIT!"" They roared at Ino, inflating their heads like Iruka while tick marks popped from their temples. A chibified Ino placed her hand over her lips and giggled.

"Your woman is a menace, Naruto." Sasuke said reproachfully. Everyone suspected Ino of being a lover of BL (Boy love) so her teasing them was disturbing.

"I know, right?"

"I'm still here, my love."

"Tch. Run me through Yin and Yang release when we get up there, okay?" Sasuke requested.

"Sure."

-[-]-

It was strange to him, six paths chakra mode, that is, which he acquired from the Six Paths Tomb Dimension. It was like a tailed beast cloak, except it was a golden veneer to his frame. In spite of how odd it was, Naruto had no qualms about it. And he never used the tailed beast cloak anyway; instead, he manifested it as the Nine Masked Beasts: Seiryū, Byakko, Suzaku, Genbu, Kinja, Tennyo, Shinigami, Hokuto Sennin and Nanto Sennin.

He and Kurama had been friends since a year into his training trip, even if Kurama denied it. They recognized each other as partners, and they both felt Naruto transforming into Kurama was a bit of a breach, so they avoided it. Fortunately, it was rendered obsolete upon the manifestation of the Nine Masked Beasts. With them, Naruto could summon the fox itself to battle alongside him if push came to shove.

The SPTD is a place outside of reality created by Hamura and Hagoromo so people could not get their hands on their corpses. For emergencies, the pair granted each tailed beast a piece of a key and placed multiple other security checks.

It was in this space that Naruto and Sasuke were exposed to Six Paths chakra, forcing their bodies to learn to produce their own after days of suffering.

They took a few years to train relative to the dimension, time was flowed quicker therein, and met the assistance of the Otsutsuki brothers. The Otsutsuki brothers instilled in them better uses of their powers such as Sasuke's ocular nin jutsu and Naruto's yin and yang jutsu, which were taught to him by Kurama.

-[-]-

-"To think you would escape that quickly," a black mass spoke from the pale-skinned woman's furisode sleeve. Naruto, garbed in a black body suit and golden jacket while his hair took the appearance of golden flames, stared at Zetsu reproachfully.

"Hold thy tongue, Zetsu," the woman, Kaguya, commanded before raising her head at the men she had been battling for days. Sasuke's Rinnegan faded a tomoe onto existence, concluding its recharge, while Naruto's chakra cloak vanished, requiring a recharge.

"Mine commendations for thine escape from the 'moon', golden hero and gloam-eyed warrior," she addressed. Naruto's base was dressed in a fishnet t-shirt and black shinobi pants. It was a prime opportunity to attack as he was weakened, but she reflected their behavior and ceased; after all, it was she who called for the cease-fire. "Golden one, as a widow, I would like to extend my condolences to thy loss-"

"Enough," Naruto said, sporting a look that said, 'get to business'. Ino's death left him tender. His rage and subsequent battle against her resulted in the moon and a chunk of the Land of Lightning crumbling to dust. This led to them battling in her dimensions.

"Suffice to say, we share a common enemy. And thy strength hast been proven to I. Thou art worthy to battle alongside me. O' golden god of heroes and gloam-eyed shadow, hear me. My ilk will soon descend upon your world and destroy it. Tis my garden, and I will defend it, so to that end, I am thy ally. Join hands with me, so we may defeat them," Kaguya proposed while raising her hands and extending them at her.

"The poison thou produced. It was birthed from thy lover, was it not?" Kaguya probed.

"…"

"…"

"Mother, shinobi are guarded with their techniques. The sharing of techniques is not acceptable to them," Zetsu reported.

"Ahhh. I see; thy caution is warranted. Well, mine offer still stands; what will it be?" Kaguya asked.

Naruto twitched and answered only with a glare, prompting Sasuke to float forward. "Tell us then, our progenitor, why is it you require the world's population to be turned into husks? Despite your claims, our end goals are different. It is as if you don't value the life on that planet," Sasuke said.

"I cannot say I do; after all, mine lord's empire has fallen to time. Mine people are naught but dust. Yours will be too, unfortunate but with our powers, we can easily recreate the population," Kaguya replied. "However, should it suit your fancy, I will birth thee a clan," she offered, ignoring the dangerous twitching in Naruto's eye.

"Do you have any idea what you are saying?" Naruto growled, glaring past Sasuke.

"Tis a necessary sacrifice. The things you know as Zetsu's are exceptional receptacles for chakra. Their bodies can be enhanced with chakra of the dozens of Otsutsuki I have lured and killed here, providing us with an army capable of thwarting mine clan," Kaguya said, raising a hand and curling her dainty, clawed fingers into a fist.

""We will not abide,"" Naruto and Sasuke replied. An influx of chakra exploded from Naruto's frame as his left fist tightened. From his curled fingers erupted a navy blue tattoo that rushed, undulated and crawled up his arm and crested around his left half. His Six Paths Mode was in recharge so he was forced to use the alternative Kurama discouraged him from using.

"Thou hold a karma?! Who is it that thou host, human?" Kaguya exclaimed, leaning forth. "A member from the branch family that settled on the moon, mother. His strength was consequential, and he went by the name of Toneri Otsutsuki. His Kekkei Mora was Hamura's Tenseigan."

As if on cue, Naruto's left eye faded in hue, and a white, flower-like pattern bloomed from his pupil and change too.

"Quell thy rage, lord of shinobi. The death of thy spouse is painful, but had I known-"

"Save your excuses. I am angry… but Ino was one of the finest kunoichi I have ever fought alongside with… most shinobi die at work and… I could have been better," Naruto sniffled a lament, wrestling an influx of words. He breathed once. "Kaguya Otsutsuki, I will make you pay…" Naruto said vaguely as his hair turned paler than snow.

His eyes and lips straightened to a blank. Naruto Uzumaki was no more and that who remained was the current God of Shinobi.

"Let's go… Sasuke."

"Right!"

They pounced in unison.

-[-]-

-Many moons had passed since their final battle's beginning. Before them floated a Kaguya whose body had blackened as green veins pulsed, coursing Ino's last laugh through her and incrementing it with Naruto's version; it was a poison jutsu developed by Ino and realized by Naruto made to defeat Otsutsuki.

It was synthesized from ancient samples Ino concluded were a poison Kaguya supposedly used to kill her partner Otsutsuki.

"Oh-oh-oh Tenji. My beloved. Why didst thou look at me with those eyes? That terror. My sons Hagoromo and Hamura... come hither. There is no need to hide. Food and warmth are here applenty… why dost thou look at me so?" she lamented deliriously.

"SASUKE! THE WORLDS ARE GONNA COLLAPSE, AND I CAN'T OPEN A PORTAL!" Naruto yelled a caution to which Sasuke responded with, "I KNOW, BUT ENTROPY IS BEYOND ITS LIMIT. THE LEYLINES SHE MADE FROM THOSE OTSUTSUKIS' CHAKRA ARE COALESCING HERE!"

Kaguya's exceptionally high void attribute, even among Otsutsuki, tore her body to nothing as a black mass crept into existence and warped the space around it. Void is an attribute all Otsutsuki have, and it enables them to open portals without Kekkei Mora.

"Shit! Multiplex Casting: Scripting," Naruto invoked as he used nature energy to assist him cast jutsu despite entropy. Scripting, an Uzumaki original, allowed him to write jutsu formula in the air, invalidating ink and scrolls in battle situations.

Naruto's golden form exploded into existence, and a fox's head appeared while Sasuke's eyes flashed, causing the fox to be covered in a purple helm.

"Looping Script."

"Barrier up Script!"

"Reflect Script!"

"Reduce Impact Script!"

"Invert Script!"

"Transcription Seal: Ephemeral."

"Six Yang Barrier!"

Naruto chanted as he rapidly jotted glowing symbols into the air that looked like a combination of kanji and Sanskrit, forming an array of commands for his chakra through scripting a/k/a jutsu formula production.

…

-Sasuke didn't know how long it had been. All he could see was an endless iridescent void. It was cold. And hot. His senses fractured but communicated his body was crumbling away. The assailant was everything and nothing. It was the nature of the strange space.. "Naruto," he thought, flinching slightly as his muscles roared in protest when he turned his head.

A child as naked him. It was unmistakenly Naruto. "Oh… I'm a child too. I wonder how our ages reversed. Heh! After all that, I don't have enough chakra to save us… but," Sasuke thought, ignoring his pain as he inched closer to his brother in all but blood.

His powers allowed him to comprehend space, and he caught wind of a safe world through that ability. The action came to him without any thought. Sasuke reached for Naruto's eyelids and pried them apart, revealing his unfocused eyes.

"Gen jutsu: Rinnegan. This is my message to you, loser."

Naruto. The brother who meant everything to him. The one who refused to kill him despite his promise to upon their withdrawal to each other. They didn't fight. They couldn't raise their blades against each other so they went their separate ways.

When Sasuke killed Itachi, he spiralled out of control, and Naruto stopped him. He then gave him a second chance at life and allowed him the opportunity to be better. To be a person his brother and clanmates would be proud of. The golden-haired one was among the few in history ever to conquer the Uchiha's curse of hatred. Even now, he protected Sasuke again, taking the brunt of most of Kaguya's world's collapse. That is why-

"Izanagi, he cast. Sasuke didn't have enough chakra to make the jutsu's reality-warping effects numerous and encompass them both. "Thanks for everything… goodbye," Sasuke thought as his right eye turned pale while his Rinnegan pulsed with power.

Izanagi is a technique that turns reality into illusions and illusions into reality or, esoterically, temporarily warps reality. In this instance, Sasuke temporarily deleted the law "chakra is required to cast a jutsu" and activated his space-time jutsu.

[-]

The child quietly appeared in a forest in the United States. He was alone; Kurama had been extracted during the war, and none of the Tailed Beasts had been saved because they couldn't retrieve the Demonic Statue of The Outer Path.

Weary, Naruto soldiered on. His will was tempered when he left his security to a panther he had befriended and fell asleep. Sasuke's apparition, programmed into his mind using the Rinnegan, had encouraged him to live on. And so he did.

Because he was in an unknown dimension, Naruto suppressed his chakra and lived in the forest until a hiking couple found him and labeled him a feral child. It was his design. He assumed that if a child raised by panthers was found, he would be taken to an orphanage without any questions. He was feral, after all.

His whisker marks were seen as him attempting to humanize with the panthers via scarring.

Naruto wanted to integrate into the world's society, and being a child was an excellent advantage he wouldn't dare waste.

Child authorities and more happened then he hit his first milestone in less than a month. The "six" year old was registered to the world and was adopted by the affluent couple. The Californian pair happened to 'click' with him without any action on his part.

Using knowledge gained from Ino, his psychologist, Naruto paced his feral acting and transitioned from feral to 'normal'. From there, the child somewhat recovered from his trauma but hit a roadblock, which he expertly hid due to his training, as the people who dealt with him were not Ino. It was strange. They did their best and genuinely wanted what was best for him, but… they. Were. Not. Ino.

In as much as it was childish, Naruto's traumas as a shinobi were fragile. It was like a non-chemist fiddling with volatile chemicals and hoping to produce a panacea. Yes, psychologists in this world were trained, but they were not prepared to deal with a grand butcher.

His loyalty to Ino and the results she produced after toiling at his mind made her his go-to; she went through a lot to help him maintain a level mind. What else would one expect from someone who knowingly and willingly destroyed multiple countries and lost precious people in rapid succession? What else would one expect from a man who led troops and ordered them to die for him and in his stead? The icing on the cake, he didn't use drugs like most of the shinobi population to escape.

In the war, Naruto gained acknowledgment that coddled his character. When shinobi were horribly incapacitated and beyond saving, the boy would sit by them, listen to their regrets and drink/smoke with them, whichever they preferred.

In short, he gained acknowledgement leading to the degradation of his dream of being the Hokage. This is relevant because the received acknowledgement and respect exposed that he never wanted to be Hokage.

This notion worsened when he remembered the kage were often forced not to be active in the field, leading to many's deaths, causing him terror. The end of his dream killed his promises to his friends, both alive and dead; Naruto Uzumaki never breaks promises.

Besides, imagine going to a psychologist and saying, "the reason I am like this is that I am an irredeemable war criminal who lost his dream, Hitler in reverse basically." He risked more than his family, so he shut up and kept it in.

It was fine.

Naruto, at some point, sealed his power to extend the "civilian" experience. It wasn't as if he was impossible to detect. Holding chakra in is like holding a sneeze; he could pop something, overheat, accidentally unleash a Jutsu when he wasn't focusing, etc. Plus, with the world's lack of entropy, and his seven-year-old mindset, he had trouble resisting casting the cool techniques he never saw in his childhood.

Another major factor that led to his decision to seal his powers was the parallel between shinobi and civilians. Believe it or not, Naruto was inspired by Jesus leaving the realm of fiction and entering the world to live among the people with their limitations.

As a god, Jesus couldn't understand the temptations of man. As a shinobi, Naruto couldn't understand the struggles of civilians. Back home, civilians and shinobi lived on separate planets despite being neighbors in the literal sense.

Civilians couldn't fight like shinobi, manipulate the world's mystical laws like shinobi, and more. A crocodile bird could nip at a crocodile's maw, but it never knew when those jaws would shut, just as the crocodile didn't know when the crocodile bird would bring with it debilitating parasites.

This led to each village having a civilian council or some kind of position that allowed civilians to be heard as an acknowledgement of this parallel. It was like foreigners handling each other.

Naruto couldn't be their child as a shinobi, so he decided to emulate Jesus and put his powers aside. It was just a few decades, plus it was not as if he couldn't unseal said powers or suddenly became a sand castle.

He would be fine. Besides, as mentioned before, with the seven-year-old mindset, Naruto likened not using chakra to watching porn on No Nut November. It just wouldn't work.

The new world was strange. Dragonflies in his village were far bigger and didn't fly… except the ones that did fly, and as you can imagine, dealing with potential maneaters was a headache for most; some even preferred dealing with the infamous Demon Cat.

The childhood Naruto lost to segregation was returned to him, and he felt great though he didn't quite crave attention as much as before, as he developed into an introvert. Other children were nice, but every time he remembered his real age, he felt uncomfortable.

Chakra sealed and humanized, the practical god lived his American life until tragedy struck when he was "10" years old. During a business trip to the Czech Republic, his parents' plane crashed, taking their lives with it.

Left alone again and crushed, the ninja went to live in Europe, where his sickly uncle took charge of his life. The man was always busy but allowed Naruto to live under his name, giving him a measure of financial strength.

Naruto didn't use this strength because he preferred being independent. After all, the sight of hard work blooming stimulated his pride. Everything being given to him was terribly dull, and he wasn't afraid to admit that, even though his past self would kick his ass if he heard that–he craved gifts.

Aiming to achieve, Naruto consistently went to school while studying computing with online resources using the help of a kind woman he met online and later in Florence. It was during this period he was inspired to build beautiful worlds where he could live with everyone. Ino, Hinata, Sasuke, His true parents, his foster parents, and uncle.

He earned money through websites like YouTube, speed and challenge running games, and . With people supporting his endeavors, he aimed to build an insane portfolio to get a job later if he wanted. This portfolio contained mods he made for games like Dark Souls and attempts at game porting from native consoles to Windows OS.

He also worked on his own titles in his free time when he wasn't doing activities like sports. Success was fair, but its host grew bored because of his adventurous side, leading to his decision to move to Japan. He felt he had lived his Euro-American half long enough; it was time for him to live his Asian half.

By the world's standards, Naruto was bi-racial. His white characteristics came from his biological father, Minato, and mother, Kushina.

After three months of living in Japan, he dropped out of school because the curriculum was garbage, and he felt he was wasting his time. Its only use to him was as a medium to socialise. There were better places for that.

Sadly, they were all out of reach because he was in an alien country. It wasn't anything he hadn't dealt with before but he did feel daunted at times, especially when he couldn't engage in Irish, foster father's side,/American Diplomacy; shouting inside small rooms and blowing shit up; he loved his fireworks. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Digression aside, this led to his current commemoration of the Shinobi's Elegy in the town of Kuoh, Japan.

It took longer than half a decade ago as his parents and now deceased uncle, were included in the ritual list. Regrets fractured the shell crafted by his decision to be human but was neutralised upon the realisation death could still slip past him, even at full power. Shinobi were still human, just robotic, and per life's rules, some things were just seasonal, so he soldiered on.

The fact memories existed not just in his brain but also in his heart was proof that they… well, existed.

Despite the countless allies and friends he lost to war, with their deaths as widespread as a hive of flies inhaling insecticide, they did for him so he couldn't let grief fall him. It was fine. He had nothing to lose, and time did not harry him, so he was allowed to cry, and so he did.

He was very aware of the supernatural. In the forest he was in, he constantly warded ghosts, phantoms, and specters and nearly encountered the ruling entity there but managed to appease it before his parents found him. Heck, even his tutor in IT revealed herself to be an angel from Heaven when they decided to leap over the online barrier and meet in Florence, Italy.

From there, he would observe and typically ignore unusual activity, such as presences suddenly popping into buildings, weird-looking creatures scurrying into shadows, and more. They didn't bother him therefore, he had no reason to bother them.

Had he been younger and less… troubled, he would have actively tried to save people from these supernatural creatures, but Naruto viewed some of the weak as resentful and an entitled bunch because of a mission going haywire some years back.

Details included are; people saw how emotionally impulsive Naruto was and took advantage of the fact, going as far as threatening to feed a child to dragonflies if he did not do as they asked. He confided in Jiraiya, and the sage somberly warned him that people thought people with strength were automatically obligated to be their slaves.

That rattled his worldview, making him hesitant to give a hand. Another incident happened in another mission where he tried to help, and well… good intentions pave the path to hell.

Don't misunderstand; Naruto would do the right thing if given a chance, but he was also willing to get his hands dirty and stain his conscious with the maxim, "see no evil," if a butterfly was present. A butterfly's wings can cause a tornado, after all.

Throwing himself off the tree, Naruto breathed and repressed his tears before flicking his wrist, sending the popsicle's stick in an arc, and it landed in a distant bin, a testament to his training. Sliding his hands into his grey sweatpants' black pockets, he slumped his back. He tilted his head, orienting his face to reveal his whisker birthmarks–viewed as tattoos here, making the locals uncomfortable–indirectly causing people to distance themselves from him.

He normally was approachable, but his state of mind was still tender. Everything held back for the last five years had shattered the fierce dam he built. Who could blame him? Being a shinobi of his caliber guaranteed a whole slew of mental issues, even if he sometimes abandoned his typical aloof and calm expression face for a grin.

His parents described him to be as cool as Batman and as amiable as Bruce Wayne without the women.

"I wonder how that world is doing… what kind of question is that? It's likely being harvested now," he immediately gave himself a reality check. The amount of chakra on that planet was vast, making it a miracle the Otsutsuki had ignored it for over 5 000 years. Times changed with his generation.

Before his death, Toneri revealed that the alien race would descend on the planet soon, and that was proven true when Urashiki Otsutsuki appeared on the moon.

Lingering attachments and regrets were knocked aside by a resounding THUD! Before Naruto could shake them off himself. Freezing an impending facepalm, the pause was quick to infect his mind and heart as pigments of crimson flushed his face into a small blush.

The pause happened to translate into a shiver a moment later because he could practically feel the ANBU on his back. He was technically 13-14, goddamnit! It wasn't his fault his hormones were all over the place. The sauce before him was out of the world.

It was a pair of stretched panties. For design, parts of its ebony cloth were artistically worn and translucent in some places, resulting in a positively stimulating sight that made Naruto feel morbid and scandalous.

The white sundress that hugged her captivating body had its hem pulled up. It revealed blemishless flesh that covered her legs. Black under white used contrast to scream, "LOOK AT ME, I AM HERE." A quick scan of her mana revealed she was only 'older' than him.

Naruto was still in his twenties, or thirties; he somehow lost count and was a law-abiding citizen, bringing him discomfort.

Locks of crimson hair pressed themselves into his memory. Her locks were blood spun into strings of wool, like his mother's hair, except they had more luster, giving them a blood-like hue when reflected by the sun. Those captivating, gossamer filaments of crimson framed a face of European origin, with Middle Eastern sprinkled here and there.

Blue-green orbs framed by unblemished skin that drove home her goddess-level beauty stared into his. Her delicious and plump rump was squished on the pavement. At the same time, Naruto stood tall, realizing the predicament and immediately firing into the behaviour the Japanese were famous/infamous for.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" He spoke in fervour, attaching English as a communicator to his intentions and heart. He bowed once before spearing his hand forward to help her up. It was mostly his fault. In Japan, parallel pavements acknowledged one direction, meaning that one pavement had people traveling up while the opposite had people traveling down.

"English? Has a bit of a Californian accent," she analyzed mentally.

Naruto's error was choosing the wrong one and knocking down an innocent girl. Ducking his chin to his chest while curling his back forward to bow once again, Naruto spoke his apology again, "I am really sorry, miss."

A sharp reprimand was denied to his primed mind, leading to his brows jumping in surprise when they spotted a small smile curling the corners of her lips up.

"Oh no! It's quite alright," she assured, taking his hand and swiping her hands on her quads, sweeping them back and swatting her rump, unknowingly causing Naruto to gulp quietly. He suddenly felt like vanilla white person attending an Indian or, even worse, a Mexican party.

"Just watch you where you are going next time," she laced her warning with chastise. She straightened her spine in a show of confidence and gave the inconspicuous shinobi a polite nod, barely refraining from performing a curtsy and moving to walk past him.

"Your hair…" he started, pausing her midstep, allowing for her head to turn and peak over her shoulder to show eyes twinkling with curiosity. "It's beautiful," he appended, spiriting the apologetic teenager to a world unknown and replacing him with an astonished boy.

The redhead's cogs grinded to a halt. His words betrayed the expectation she nurtured of him attempting to sneakily gaze at her bottom from the corner of his eyes. As a frequent subject to lust, her mind defaulted to the assumption she would ruthlessly be ogled should she divest her focus.

It wasn't a problem. Rias was naturally a prideful girl, and the heated gazes only served to temper and strengthen it. That is why she almost jumped when she received heat on a surface that was not her pride.

Her eyes widened to dinnerplates, revealing that her formerly serene soul had become a color randomiser and was unsure what shade to pick. Vexation exhaled short, lilting catches of breath, regaling the world with her beautiful laughter.

The moment heavily contrasted the day thus far, making his heart leap further than usual.

"Thank you! You are the first to say that," she expressed between her gigglings before swinging back around to continue to her destination. "Wish I could talk some more, but I'm short on time… see you around?" she said before waving and rushing off.

"Sure…" Naruto muttered, his expression falling back to its default plain. He crossed the asphalt to walk on the appropriate path this time, ignoring the raindrop-wet spots that ballooned on its surface. While his melancholy was present, it wasn't what motivated the tears.

In the season of darkness he found himself in, a ray of light blasted him. A random one at that, showing his presence of Fortune's graces. The short and possibly inconsequential encounter relieved him from Atlas' role.

With individuality came strange instances of useless things, somehow meaning the world to people. Someone's smile or unworthwhile opinion, for example, motivated many and the encounter with the red head was the same in nature.

Giving himself a moment, the boy used his enhanced vision to watch the retreating redhead disappear around a corner. Shrugging off the feature that had become frequent to his personality, curiosity, Naruto went on his way.

Elsewhere, the redhead finally shortened her strides into a leisurely walk and placed her thumb on her chin in a pensive look. "That was one strange boy," she couldn't suppress the giggle that slipped from her lips. Her eyes flickered to her hand that stroked her hair's soft strands. It drifted toward the earth like a hand caught in a cookie jar.

Rias didn't like her hair. It associated her with her father; on paper, this relationship was amazing, but it deprived her of normalcy. She was a sand castle and some kind of trophy to everyone around her. Her red hair encouraged devils ensorcelled by her body to approach her for her hand in marriage so they could join Arch-Dukes' family.

As a result, her peers hurled insults at her when they could, chasting her crimson locks. They tagged and labelled her behind her back and made her want to dye her in a lot of instances. Politics were ugly, and to be on top of the food chain, you had to be uglier, so she found herself conforming to her peers.

This led to her rejecting the family she loved on a subconscious level, leading to her guilt which is why the boy complimenting her hair affected her so much. He told her unsure heart that her family was beautiful despite their transgressions against her. They loved her; there was no question about it.

Rias was a prideful girl; she felt heartbreak if she couldn't have pride in something she loved. It was her nature, but she couldn't do something as simple as declaring what she had was amazing, leading to her numerous predicaments.

He saw her hair first instead of her body. He cemented that she and her family were beautiful and validated her pride in them.

He saw her underwear and buttocks, yet her hair, of all things, stole his attention. "Seriously though, what is with those tattoos on his face? And that blonde hair? Mixed race? Well, I wonder if he is trying to distress the locals," she thought.

[-]

Concluding a bound to the convenience store, Naruto located himself on a patch of grass beyond a fenced-off, lengthy, grey four-story building. Marching up the cobbled path, Naruto, strangely, waved when sounds of creaking doors and sliding window sills.

Though maintained to the nth degree, rent in this apartment was cheap for a simple reason. It was haunted. He had a couple of neighbors who worked night shifts, keeping them away during the ghosts' most active hours.

"Hi guys!" he called out mentally, and noises ramped for an instant in response.

When he first moved, the ghosts harassed him but after a talk, they relented and became his other neighbors. Violence was always an option, yes, though it usually wasn't a good one, so words were almost always preferable to hurting the next person, in his opinion.

A certain psychic girl from a certain cursed tape had settled into the building. Naruto managed to build a fully functioning relationship with her. It went to the point she'd randomly crawl into his bed, platonically, have dinner with him, and deal with his emotional outburst episodes.

He entered his abode. It was a large apartment, by Japanese standards, with two bedrooms, a bathroom – mixed with a toilet – and a living room separated from the kitchen by a wall and a hallway leading to the aforementioned rooms.

Sliding off his sandals, he guided his feet to one of the pairs of orange and blue slippers at the side and closed the door before moving past the living room with an expensive TV set still active, showcasing slides and panels of Crunchyroll shows.

Naruto walked into the kitchen, thumped the plump plastic bag on the counter, and left for his bedroom.

It was clean and had a queen-sized bed with white sheets and a desk and closet where he had hidden his gaming chamber in. One of the ghosts was kind enough to show him a hidden space not even the apartment's owner knew of, and that was where he did almost everything related to gaming; he sometimes played on his console in the living room.

When doing other work, such as coding, modding, and writing, he worked on a decent workstation on the desk in his room.

His purpose in his room had nothing to do with any of that. His destination was the miniature shrine he had built in the morning. Then everything fell out. Tears spilt onto the floorboards as he shivered and sniffled.

The conclusion of the Elegy typically had the person remember all his victims, both deserving and not. Naruto Uzumaki was responsible for destroying two large countries and dealing with the fallout taking the form of numerous parties seeking vengeance on him, loudly announcing what he had taken from them.

It had never been easy on his mind, especially with streams of mission and training taking him away from Ino, who would later die. It was never easy on his mind, especially since Kurama, at that point, had gifted him with empathy.

Their screams gave him visions of the denial of their and their loved one's future. The happiness they could have had. The children whose existence he denied. The passions that they could have gestated. Back then it didn't burn as much, but now that he had relived his childhood, one without segregation, it slid into his mind's focus with violence.

All they wanted was to protect their loved ones, and Naruto could understand; after all, he religiously followed that thought before he abandoned it. Leaving it to defense made his precious people vulnerable to being attacked, and he wasn't so foolish to believe he could stop every enemy from taking from him, so he adopted an offensive approach.

He attacked. He never gave his enemies a chance to retaliate. What doesn't exist can't be a threat, right?

He was in pain because of this; just like Kushina's apparition had pointed out, he exposed his nature as a crybaby. It took him a moment to register a foreign weight pressing onto his body. His dewy eyes fell to his shadow, which had grown a lump relative to his size.

Then a strand of crimson hair slipped over his head and hung before his eyes. That was when his clattered mind registered beautiful arms fleshed with captivating skin had embraced him. "There… there, it's okay," she whispered.

The warmth in her words thawed the frost in the darkness he was in. His body tensed for combat when it recognized his vulnerability but then remembered he wasn't a child anymore, nor was he a shinobi nor was he a jinchuuriki. No one would randomly decide harassing him was a fantastic pastime.

"It's okay," she calmly asserted, the earlier flinch rippling through her nerves and causing her heart to lurch for him. It was strange how well people hid their demons until they reached their homes' comforts. His were amongst the worst she had seen as they had gone as far as him not registering her presence for over a minute.

She couldn't see the altar; The Shinobi Elegy was one's private affair, and naturally, anything built had to be hidden. Naruto, out of habit, had ensconced a tag with an anti-perception script.

His quaking shoulders inclined into a pause, and his breathing followed suit. The snot oozing from his nostrils was pawed away by a foreign hand wielding a light blue handkerchief.

-Breathe, Whiskers. Breathe. In… Out… That's it. In…

The voice of his belated lover echoed in his mind, guiding to a more presentable state of person and mind. While he did that, the girl from before had yet to let him go.

[-]

That short period became a memory as the pair kneeled around a desk in the living room. Between shame and embarrassment, Naruto's eyes were glued to the table as the kind redhead regarded him with a tilted head.

"I'm… I'm sorry you had to see that," he said, lowering his downturned head further into a bow.

"It's no trouble. I'm serious and… worried. Are you sure you are okay?" she questioned, leaning forward with a concerned expression.

"I'm a 110%," he stated blandly, attempting to force a smile only for it to collapse.

The girl's lips squeezed into a line as her cheeks puffed up slightly, as her eyes reported every hint of his behaviour to her mind. She had dealt with similar and, as such, could recognise cues of when to press and when to not. Now was the time for the latter.

"If you say so," she replied before exhaling and agitating her presence slightly, causing him to look up to meet her eyes. "You must be wondering what or who I am and how I got here, right?" "No. Not at all," Naruto replied plainly.

"What?" It was like an owl had taken command of her body.

Taking her abject confusion as a prompt, Naruto detailed, "I saw a centaurian monster prowling the forest over in the north a little while ago… that and noticed Yakuza guys randomly get elongated noses the other day in Kyoto. And even before that, I had some encounters with supernatural. For example…

A while ago, a young man with a spear in China triggered mass hysteria in Christians in a restaurant I was in. Oh, as I'm sure you can tell, most of my neighbours are ghosts, and they told me a group of devils live here, so… magic circle I think it was?" Naruto explained plainly, shrugging his shoulders with an "I've seen it all" expression.
"Ah…" she exhaled while tilting her head to a nod. Pried eyes communicated perplex while her tightening lips spoke to him of pensiveness. "That was the escaped Nuckelavee Okita went to take care of! We thought it went without a hitch," she explored with alarm mentally.

"I see." The gentle shift of her shoulders brushed and bent strands of her crimson locks. The ahoge on her head twitched as well. "Holy fuck, that is cute. I've never seen one of those before!"

"Well met, Stranger, I present myself as Rias Gremory, a child of the Gremory house, an archduke of the Underworld. By your desire, a leaflet in your possession has summoned me to grant you a wish," she introduced politely.

"To you as well, lady Gremory. I apologise for the inconvenience," he expressed while angling his head down as a pink tint crawled over his cheeks. Curiously to the now-named Rias, his behavior didn't suggest caution against her. This was unlike all the other humans who had summoned her.

"No, not at all. I am happy to be in the presence of someone who doesn't fear me, but I cannot help but worry for you. Kindness and tolerance are beautiful, but an utter disregard for caution is frightening," she expressed, maintaining formality as it was clear the human had no issue communicating in that manner.

A repetitive problem she had with clients was them acknowledging her beauty and then attempting to breach boundaries; it was difficult being a she-devil as beautiful as she.

"I knowingly had a slip on me. It isn't surprising that I summoned you, even if it was a mistake. Mine intent was the study of magic circles; it is a passing interest of mine, you see. I am, but a weak human and have no place in the supernatural. Still, on the same coin, my curiosity overwhelms me as a human, so I allowed myself a glance. Then my attention was diverted to other matters, deferring my… research," he explained while shifting his hands around to gesticulate his message for a stronger effect.

"Ahhh… well, it is human nature to be curious, and with your awareness… that means you have a rare resistance to mind-altering spells," she said, causing him to raise his brows in surprise.

"Hmmm, that could be a problem," he mused with his finger finding a place on his chin.

"How so?" she questioned.

"My melancholy summoned you, and you suppressed it. With this in mind, I will need to compensate you somehow, like your other clients then have my memories altered. My assumption is based on how little information of your ilk is in circulation on media," he said with a nod, pulling a small but bright smile from the girl.

"Quite perceptive, are we? Yes, that could be an issue, but granted, there are no reports about that centaur creature you spotted, and the wonderful ghosts in this complex adore you, I don't see why I cannot put my faith in you." Her speech's conclusion was appended with a wink that incited another blush.

From her peripherals, she could see a ghastly creature glaring at her with its elongated blade-like fingers poised to smite her should she aggress on her client. For the briefest of instances, the television's screen flickered, revealing a palid figure with hair draped over her face standing in front of a well. There was nothing to sustain their forms during that time of day, yet they all strained to protect him.

Her sixth sense added to this communication; every apparition in the vicinity was facing them, poised to strike.

Chris Hansen and The Power Rangers couldn't stop him now, and he strongly doubted Jesus could either. His pedophilic, ?, thoughts disturbed him. His friends and parents taught him better than that, and the guilt drilled into him better than the magical toilet installed in his apartment. God bless and curse that thing.

"Kill me…" he muttered, suppressing his revile. It wasn't suicidal thoughts. He didn't have those types of thoughts; instead, it was utter and sheer shame and embarrassment.

"Denied. Next wish." Rias swept her arms up and held them before her bountiful chest, forming a cross while her ahoge jolted to a lightning symbol. A gameshow buzz smacked into their ears, and a laugh was barred exit by his lips in response. One magical trick from the devil coated his mood with honey. "Surely it can't get better than this.

"Ah, what? Eh, no, you… completed my wish, so that wasn't a wish. I'm just… uh, nevermind," he responded with owlish eyes. Spasming lungs stuttered his speech slightly, granting him time to prime his words to the most optimal effect.

"No, that was me comforting a sad boy. You didn't make a wish, and my choice to comfort you was out of worry. You seem nice, and I've seen good men and women disappear because someone refused even to try to comfort them," she responded while shaking her head.

"Well… that confirms my soul won't be taken." A wry smile crept up to his expressionless features.

"No devils eat souls these days… except those that do eat souls, but their population is quite low, so you are more likely to get hit by an asteroid," the she-devil explained, burning the common misconception about devils. "Plus, it's horrifically complex and inefficient," she ended while shrugging.

"Except I did get hit by an asteroid. A hundred and sixteen times, fuck you Toneri," Naruto mentally cursed and didn't spare the diamond on his palm a glance. Rias could not see it because bandages had been wrapped around it.

"Wait, she has my 'they don't… except the ones that do' sense of humor! Holy shit! I wonder if she'll be my buddy."

"My, I still can't help but be impressed by your tolerance. Going into someone's home is accompanied by alienation, and add to the fact I am a devil; it gets worse, so thank you for accepting me," she grinned, pressing more warmth onto him.

"Pitchfork cliché?"
"Pitchfork cliché," she confirmed as her eyes suddenly seemed to sag into bags.

"Hmmm, logically, if the bible has a degree of accuracy, then Lucifer had one bizarre appearance and another similar to Heaven's governing deity. With that in mind, if it is believed that Lucifer is your progenitor through Lilith, then wouldn't that mean you would look human by default?" he pitched his voice in wonder while sliding and rubbing his finger on his chin.

The devil nodded in response. "Yes, that is mostly true. We can go over finer details later, so we should discuss your wish right now." The she-devil changed topics.

"Well…" Naruto started alongside his eyes perusing his home, leading the she-devil to art and collectables ranging from a straw hat hanging over the door to the hallway and kitchen to the white, grey, orange, and maroon katana modeled after Kyojuro Rengoku's.

A portrait of Luffy in his snakeman form surrounded by Son Goku, Kurosaki Ichigo, and Asta. 40% of his homes decorations were anime related, 45 were gaming related, and the remaining 5 were generic items like potted plants.

His eye caught Rias shift in mild, sparkling agitation, but she quickly caught herself before she thought he noticed.

"I have only been in Japan for three months, I think, and haven't had time to make new friends because of an overwhelming amount of work," he detailed with a sigh. Remaking a game's light maps just wasn't it, and it didn't help that he was pretty bad at it. And, of course, he had to get rid of that horrendous elevator in Earthen Peak in his Dark Souls II mod. Pain…

Sure one could argue that it's a plot device communicating how Bearer of The Curse is becoming amnesiac, as ordained by the curse of the undead, leading to them forgetting parts of their journey but come the fuck on! How does a heavenward elevator lead to a place of molten earth like Iron Keep?

Then there's media work with his socials. And his challenge-run training.

"To put it simply, I would like to request you be my company in watching the first season of the anime One Punchman that aired recently," he said, watching the devil nod as he expressed his desire. "What will you be taking?" He was not one to defer matters if he could help it.

"Hmmm," her lilting voice hummed while her finger pressed onto her chin. "Well, since you are my kindred in being overworked… then… I'll settle for free entry here to escape," she grinned with twinkling eyes. The TV flickered again, but the she-devil lost in her own world didn't notice.

Naruto did however, and shot his onryo friend a reproachful gaze, to which she responded by pretending to whistle not to notice him as she combed her hair before flickering the TV off. "Man, Sadako, your trolling is top-tier as always. You trully are a woman after my own heart," he saluted.

"Plus, the manga is fantastic, and I haven't watched the show yet either, and it was animated by Studio Madhouse! Did you see the trailer?!" the rapidly exposed Japanophile rode her passion to a pounce.

"That I did," he offered a small chuckle before moving to the door that led to the kitchen. "Well, I am not the type to enjoy shows without snacks. Do devils have any allergies to human food? And do you have preferences?"

"As long as there's no holy water," she joked before moving to follow him into the kitchen, oblivious to his raised brow. With impressive speed, she found a pack of corn without him pointing them out. Shrugging, he opened a few cabinets and extracted packs of cheese, onion-flavored lays, as was his preference, and a box of biscuits from South Africa.

"Hmmm, never seen that brand before," Rias commented after heating up the oil and depositing corn into the pot.

"I visited Durban in South Africa once and went around eating stuff. These stood out to me, so I have one of my guys send them over from time to time?" he replied, flicking his gaze to the box labelled Baker's Choice Assorted.

"Interesting," she replied with her mouth shaped like an o, her head tilted, and her eyelids slightly lifted.

Continuing their conversation, the pair worked around and complemented each other while working to produce a feast that would cause the rot on rotting teeth to rot.

"Oh, how rude of me. I never got your name," Rias said, scaffolding her height with the balls of her feet and pulling out salt from a nearby cabinet.

"Oh! Courtesy! A thousand pardons. My American name is William Chase Bartholomew Godefroy White, and I used to hang with gangbangers. Excuse the change in accent; it's mandatory. I was full-time gangbanger for the 8trae gangster crib, cuh; they called me Trae-Slug from the hood, cuh. My current name is Naruto Uzumaki. It's a pleasure to meet you," Naruto spoke, switching to an African-American gang accent in the middle.

"Pfftttt!" Rias giggled. "Y-yes, nice to meet you too, Mr. White… er Uzumaki," she said.

"Oh, please. I am too young to be called Mister, Are you sure about that? please call me Naruto," he responded, allowing a hint of jovial to creep into his otherwise neutral voice.

As they prepared snacks, Naruto combined coca cola, liquifruit cranberry juice – imported from South Africa – coffee of an unknown brand, Gatorade of an unknown flavor, and frozen grapes to act as ice cubes. "What's that?" she asked.

"A little concoction of mine I developed under conditions more vicious than college. Sleeping and drowsiness were always my ultimate nemeses, so I devised a formula so amazing it would bankrupt most soft drink companies. Only I can make it. It's like… super delicious, but like slightly burnt garlic, it goes from oh wow, I can die happy to holy shit, I need a dick in my mouth real fast - that's how gross it can become. Presenting to you, lady Gremory, made by the greatest mixologist alive, Ghetto-Gatorade," he explained, pitching it in an inebriated salesman fashion while his arms swung back and forth, shaking a shaker cup before placing it on the counter and producing a jigger and adding a syrupy fluid.

"Oh no! You moron," she chided playfully, causing him to tilt his head and ask, "what? What could this genius possibly have done to relegate to idiocy."

"You could have called it Ghettorade," she said, her words prying his eyelids so wide his eyes almost left their sockets.

"FUCK!" He cursed before taking a breath and enjoying the pleasant giggling coming from his right.

"But you are quite the salesman. You had me at drowsiness, so I am genuinely curious." True to her words, her eyes were concentrated on the brownish, bubbling drink.

With a smirk, his wrist was flicked, and his mixing container jerked to a halt so he could pop it open and trickled it into a cup.

"Well, ghetto-yourself some today," he offered the cup with the pleasant-smelling concoction. The enticing yet oddly medical aroma had Rias throw caution to the winds, and as soon as her lips pressed onto the cup and it was tilted, her eyes threw themselves back so violently she almost exposed her whites.

"H2O no! There's no way! This is even better than the stuff in the Underworld!" she cheered, gestating the formerly downtrodden shinobi's smirk to grow in size. "Uncle, Papa. You chuckleheads said it couldn't be done. The ultimate drink couldn't be brewed from the so-called evil ingredients. I have done it. I have surpassed you two. Suck! Whooo! I'd like to thank my mama and aunt for encouraging me. As you can see, I'm wooing a cute girl with this amazing drink. God bless you."

Ghettorade, formerly Ghetto-Gatorade, was the pinnacle of mixing random shit and producing the ultimate food/drink. Through countless hours of trial and error and help from homies from the hood, Naruto produced a formula so effective it greatly outshone even Mountain Dew. MOUNTAIN FUCKING DEW HAD NOTHING ON GHETTORADE!

Laughter shook shifted the apartment atmosphere as the amiable pair hugged their bounty and transferred it to the living room where pearls of laughter would explode for a considerable amount of time.

At some point during their time together, a few of the ghosts manifested in Naruto's living room and enjoyed the festivities alongside the pair, shaking the place with so much joy that the old Naruto would have hurled rainbows.

Alas, all things must come to an end.

Before seeing Rias off, Naruto handed her a key to his house so she could enter his apartment as if she wished. This led to her playing mock offense before embracing him and thanking him for the blast; he could see one of the ghosts miming calling Chris Hansen.

"Jokes on you, buddy, the age of consent here is thirtee- what the fuck am I thinking?" The god of shinobi recoiled, gagged, and wretched as spectres and former onryos laughed at him. It was a running joke that Naruto was older than he seemed, and none knew how right they were.

Oh, he could communicate telepathically with them because of ghost magic or something. He sure as hell didn't know. What he did know was that the age of 13 consent wasn't a thing; he was joking. Any suss weirdo will drop the soap for the rest of his life.

Rias would randomly appear to hang in the following days, and the time spent together evolved beyond watching anime. The girl would share her frustrations, detail her day and duties, and even talked to him about the Underworld.

As if time was currency, the more that passed purchased him more favorable behavior from her. Despite having little interest, the girl started gaming with him, leading to one of the funniest moments since he arrived in this world.

Hearing the jovial girl raging at a Call of Duty game and screaming "NIIGGGGGAAAA!" was the standard. The way she screeched it killed him. It was like an angry chihuahua equipped with a peacock's feathers.

Despite him trying to get her to do something she liked more, she insisted on doing his favorite activity until it got to the point she actually started enjoying it. It was fucking fantastic.

Spurred by her evidently liking him, Trae-Slug from the hood was not dense, he asked her out, and to his mild surprise, she accepted. It was hilarious because he expected her to say yes but was still shy about it.

Some things about him didn't change, even if they were coated in a veneer of faux confidence.

Rias snuck away from the Underworld during the school holidays and met him in Stockholm, where they had a blast.

That was how the pair became a couple. Fuck Chris Hansen, Naruto was a god of shinobi and one who inherited six paths chakra. He could destroy the planet dozens of times over if he felt like it, so what would a little white boy do?

Well… Chris Hansen couldn't do anything to him, but the shadow clone he sealed in his mindscape to unseal his power during emergencies had other things to say. The memory still filled him with immense embarrassment that Sadako made a point of making fun of him.

A few months later

Following their status as boyfriend and girlfriend, he was introduced to her peerage, who immediately took a liking to him. When Rias was absent because of duty or abstinence, so they wouldn't raise suspicion as their relationship was a secret, one or sometimes all from the crew would come by for a visit.

As Yuuto, Koneko, and Akeno strengthened their bonds with him, they shared some of their backstories and were perfectly fine with him watching them train. His premiere viewership made something in him click. He watched the disappointments that were the trio and kept his silence, but seeing Rias just snapped it.

"Rias… what was that?" Naruto asked. He was dressed in an orange kimono and had a blue backpack at his side. The Gremory heiress was dressed in a crimson tracksuit, and her flesh was speckless. With a puffed chest and surrounded by shrapnel and debris, her blue-green eyes betrayed her misunderstanding of his words.

"I know. My power of destruction is amazing. My mother and brother told me theirs increased dramatically as they grew older so in a couple of years I'll be able to beat Riser," she explained, giving him a grin and raising an arm to flex.

In the nearby woods, Sadako shook her head at the sight. "Cool. But, it looks the same as last time. The oo, ahh factor, I mean," Naruto said apropos to Kazuma rating Megumin's explosions in Konosuba. "Where is the heat?! Where is the thunder?!" Naruto all but shouted, his voice whistling through his lips like a hiss.

"Oh… uh… I had lots of homework… and anime," Rias meekly explained while shrinking from the pressure the shinobi exuded. It was a mystery to her how an average human without training could exude that much agitation but that didn't matter. She felt like she was facing an agitated mother.

The boy fell silent, the turgid look on his face unshifting. "Rias… this may seem like an out-there question, but are you serious about our relationship?"

"Why are you asking that?" her eyes widened while his narrowed it slits.

"Because you might as well marry the Phoenix heir at the rate you are going," Naruto replied, and Rias recoiled. In that moment, her beloved boyfriend sounded like the father who left her to be hounded by the heir of the Phoenix, Riser.

"How could you say that? Can't you see I'm trying?" Rias raised her voice, stamping her feet forward and puffing her chest in a futile attempt to loom over him.

"I can't and won't lie to you, dear. I won't mince anything because I care about you, and I don't want you to suffer for the rest of your life. Ten thousand years is a long time, you know! YOU AREN'T TRYING ENOUGH! YOU ARE FUCKING LAZY AND UNINSPIRED! HOW CAN YOU LOVE MY HERO ACADEMIA SO MUCH AND NOT PUT IN EFFORT!"

"I AM!" Like a cornered animal, Gremory spat back, and her magic power swelled, causing her surroundings to fracture under waves of crimson energy zagging over and forth like lightning.

"NO YOU ARE NOT! No… you are not. Sorry for raising my voice at you," Naruto shrunk in shame of his behaviour. "On our second anime date, we kissed over the scene when Deku cleared the junk heap when being trained by All-Might and went the extra mile."

"I…" Rias' eyes could no longer meet his. Her magic power settled, and her hairs relaxed.

"You can't do that, yet you are fully capable. I'd argue you have even greater motivation and incentive than Deku but... now I feel like our relationship doesn't matter to you, meaning we will break up when that time comes. Knowing you, you'll try to erase my memories before being whisked away by that kid. You gonna be like, 'oooo, woe is me. I worked hard, but you didn't. And waiting for some stupid sacred gear isn't the answer. Rias, it takes time to train. Anime montages don't exist! You can't even control Gasper. Riser isn't the problem, you are. You are working to fail."

"I-I am trying," she replied meekly. Her strained expression exposed her desperately tugging down books and records in her mental archives for that one book. It would only take one book to shut him up, but it wasn't there.

"… I don't think so… maybe I am unfairly projecting some things. I guess I can interpret your behavior not as laziness but as futility like you are destined to marry him no matter what you do." He informed, tilting his head.

"No!"

"Fine. How will you engage his peerage? How will you implement the battle royale stuff I taught you… assuming you are lucky enough even to get a battle royale." Naruto speared at the heart of the issue. He knew she intended to challenge Riser to a battle-royale-style rating game. The other week, she questioned him about the numerous tactics he used in PUBG and Call of Duty and let out a satisfied smile as if sure of something.

"I'll… get someone with a strong sacred g-"

"Got it. Besides that, what are your political plans? As plan B?" Naruto inquired, broaching a field he was an expert in. He had to negotiate with the Kage over and under the table for funding in the war. Currently, he wasn't interested in Rias pandering to luck because finding a sacred gear in her specification was unlikely.

"My brother is the-"

Naruto's look of reproach shut her up. Her pride sin factor crushed her heart as Naruto was someone she loved, meaning she took pride in his compliments. To a devil and to some extent fallen angels, a sin factor is a sin they are inclined to perform. When they act on their sin factor, their moods elevate and become stronger.

"I will become famous by slaying a lot of monsters…"

"With what strength? You can't hide behind daddy and mommy's benefits, here. Rias… you are either lazy or find practicing fruitless, and that's gonna kill all our happy memories," Naruto cautioned bluntly. "All you are doing now is escaping reality by indulging in your Japonophile tendencies. You are no better than an alcoholic asking why their life is shit. Well, look at you playing student and weeb in the human world. HELLO REALITY!"

Rias' breathing laboured as her eyes darted everywhere and anywhere. Everywhere and anywhere, that would take her away from the eyes of her disappointed lover. "I… I… I have to go," she stated as tears stained the ground. A crimson light erupted at her feet and drew itself to runes and circles then flared out of existence, taking Rias with it.

"… Was I too unkind?" Naruto asked, gazing at the pale-skinned girl who usually had her hair draped over her face. As soon as Rias departed, she used her paranormal abilities to zoom to his side and wrap an arm around his shoulders.

"It… was… necessary," her hoarse, halting voice responded. "… her… peerage… is hidden in the bushes…" Sadako revealed.

"You all have enhanced hearing. It's pointless," Naruto called out. He knew they were present but forgot when he restrained an episode because his language could have been far worse. His peripherals also brimmed with tears at the look on Rias' face.

"Here to defend yourselves? And explain how you will beat a full peerage with your measly strength?" Naruto questioned sarcastically, wheeling around to face the rustling bushes that revealed Akeno, Yuuto, and Koneko.

The trio looked at each other as if mentally communicating, shown by them nodding and shaking their heads then looking back at Naruto. Yuuto took a step forward and opened his lips. "You are… right. But, what can we do?"

"…" Naruto stayed silent and glanced at the ghost who had started floating beside him.

"We can't resent you for being mean to President," the petite nekushou mumbled audibly enough for him to hear. "You are… right."

"Rias is lucky to have someone like you," Akeno stated simply, imitating Rias and keeping her eyes down. "Never poke an Uzumaki" was an instinct they all followed despite not knowing about it. Her flirtatiousness died a hideous death because the human was in a foul mood.

Like Koneko, he was typically aloof and reserved, and now was no exception, but they were once told Sadako technically haunted him and could act as a vessel for his repressed feelings. The ghost seemed to be in a foul mood. That was the only plausible explanation.

"William… what can we do?" Yuuto asked. Because the devil was of European descent, using William was easier for him. There was no problem on Naruto's end either.

"I know not of your ways. I'm just a software engineer but… if I am put on the spot, then I'd say do the obvious. Dedicate more time to raising your basic physical abilities. Maybe avoid going too deep into technique without the help of a professional. I could fill that role in some aspects but…" Naruto trailed off, alluding to his shinobi training and a lie he told them about taking HEMA and MMA classes.

"Solo practice breeds bad habits sometimes. Yuuto, you are the only one I think I can comfortably work with because of your sacred gear. Right, get this. You can create demon swords with unique attributes, right?"

"Right," Kiba nodded.

"Why not get inspiration from anime and games? The Fate series has a million concepts you can implement. If I had your gear, I'd learn to add multiple attributes to one sword to increase offensive power massively. Your durability sucks and you can't do much about it, so why not go for a glass cannon build?" Naruto offered.

"I am not privy to gamer lingo," Yuuto said with a wry smile.

"A build is basically what your character's attributes like skills, abilities, and weapons are arranged as, basically. For example, every time I play dark souls, and you see me casting miracles while wearing cleric robes, I'm running a faith build," Naruto elucidated, bringing a nod to Kiba's face.

"Of course, since you can create multiple swords, you can experiment with arrangements to make… I dunno, a dome or a fucking dragon. Make swords that can be affected by telekinesis so you don't have to keep remaking em if your old ones get out of reach.

"And maybe another improvement you can make is, instead of Holy Eraser, you create a holy eater that lets you use improvised holy swords," Naruto stated and watched his words result in Yuuto's smile fracturing.

"Isaiah," Naruto called him by his original name, glaring into his eyes. "I understand your pain, I really do but this isn't the time for this. It would be best if you got as strong as possible. Like Rias, you have a gift that can make you unfair to fight.

Before Yuuto could protest, Naruto shot past him.

"I don't have the patience to hear you cry about your backstory. I will be that guy. Justice can be desired and prioritized, but neighbouring threats cannot be ignored. This truth remains so when you consider the threat you are focused on is the far future. You can't bite the hand that fed you and allowed you the opportunity to pursue that 'justice' of yours," Naruto chastised.

"I-"

"Use your brain, moron. They wouldn't be experimenting on you if they weren't preparing to battle you all. Besides, like Rias, you are critically underwhelming. What are you going to do? Run at them screaming, 'you killed my friends,' then get murked? We fucking love you. I love you, and I'm not letting you throw your life away like that. I'mma be that guy. No, I am that guy," Naruto said to Kiba.

"…" the other blonde's downcast expression nearly pushed the hard look off his face. "Understood… I'll do my best," he whispered.

Naruto nodded, glanced at Akeno and Koneko then looked his ghost. "Sadako, sorry to infringe on you again but-"

The ghost embraced him and pulled away from him before raising her hand to brush away her locks of hair, revealing golden eyes.

"I… will… train… the queen… in magic," she stated. Naruto smiled, pulled out a tablet, and pointed it at Akeno, displaying a video recording showing a lighthouse and dead horses among other things. "Wait, Naruto, isn't that?"

Sadako's form warped, twisted, and curved into the screen. They all blinked owlishly until elongated pale arms erupted for the screen, snapped onto Akeno's shoulders and dragged in before she could protest.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"William, you have a few screws loose," Kiba said with wide eyes.

"Yeah, Naruto… you are terrible."

"What? She chose the wrong screen to look into. Besides, I'll have you spar with Sadako from time to time. If I remember correctly, Rias evaluated her as at least Ultimate Class, which is much higher than you guys currently." Naruto defended himself while averting his eyes and whistling innocently.

"Anyway, Koneko, I will be helping you with your hand-to-hand. I can't do anything else for you, unfortunately," Naruto said, giving her an apologetic look.

"Mmm… it's okay… I learned some magic techniques I have to master," she responded plainly, bringing a small smile to Naruto's face. "Atta girl." His hand fell on her head, and his fingers wiggled back and forth, soliciting a growling mewl from the girl.

A pair of feline ears popped from her head, and a tail tapered in half in the middle to two ends slid out from her skirt.

"I'm ready," Koneko said, glaring her golden eyes into his.

"Not this week, squirt. Got me a ridiculous schedule, plus I have yet to plan your training." In other words, he had yet to think of a way to introduce shinobi training to her without suspicion, plus he had a few schemes he had to cook up, and one of them involved calling a certain angel.

"Alright," she deflated.

[-]

Naruto couldn't train Koneko in sen jutsu for the same reasons he couldn't train Kiba and Akeno in their magic and abilities. He was critically underqualified. As time passed, he had been forced to push the scheme he had been cooking up into fruition because he had little choice.

Koneko's training focused on forcing her to learn to transition from her rook piece's strength to her cat-like agility and reflexes. Lots of lewd stuff like head pats and compliments, with the occasional hand-holding, happened and allowed her to build more confidence, but it kept fracturing.

The reason behind it was simple.

She was between Yuuto and Akeno. Akeno's wizardry had reached an all-time high, and Yuuto's sacred gear usage had evolved immensely, to the point he could whip out multi-attribute swords and contain holy energy with varying levels of success.

It was clear to Naruto what he had to do. Not looking into her roots was like an Uchiha not using their Sharingan, a huge waste of potential, and said potential would definitely help keep her esteem intact. What he dreaded slammed into him like a truck.

Instead of using her unfair advantage, she overtrained and collapsed from fatigue, worrying the rest of the peerage. Naruto, from experience, knew how dangerous overtraining was and was quick to take action against this effort. It was commendable, but she was tunneling, vision, and stressing herself to achieve the unreasonable.

Naruto took action. In Rias' stead, he ordered Akeno to break the seal holding Gasper. He cited that Sadako would easily stop him should something go wrong because she wasn't just ridiculously powerful but also not subject to time, significantly weakening Gasper's potential effects on her.

He then used Sadako and Gasper to keep the peerage busy to isolate himself and Koneko. After that, he called the angel and requested a monster. He used the monster to get kidnapped, allowing for a situation where Koneko would be forced to use sen jutsu.

Cruelty was not alien to him, and he hated it, but he felt that the situation required it. Koneko's reasoning for not using sen jutsu was that it was evil and would turn her into a monster like her sister, causing her to kill everyone she loved; even him.

He put aside his civilian self to be a shinobi. And as the best shinobi in history, he used her evident affection for him to further her strength. He wanted her to move on from her trauma. He wanted her to be strong, and she never would be at the rate she was going. He had to be that guy.

Naruto considered the thought of her going berserk because when he entered the world, he got a taste of Mother Nature's vitriol. However, he noted that Mother Nature wasn't aggressively pushing the hatred onto him and forcing him to be a receptacle for destruction. You had to be careless to get to the berserk state. This reasoning was what pushed Naruto to take the risk.

If push came to shove, he would drop his secret and stop her. Naruto couldn't teach her sen jutsu because he was unqualified, but from his knowledge on youkai, he had no skepticism on their ability to use it without consequence.

The angel had outdone herself as the monster had perfectly matched his specifications, forcing Koneko to use sen jutsu or watch him die. Its type and genealogy made it susceptible to sen jutsu and ki manipulation, encouraging her to activate her roots.

"Now, Koneko-chan, I hope you make the right choice because I am fully prepared to erase your memory and repeat this. As many times as it takes. I know you are strong, and I won't let you waste yourself and regret it forever." Were his thoughts as he observed the being thrashed repeatedly.

Averting his eyes was an instinct he ignored because like his soldiers, she was fightning in his stead and genuinely thought he was in danger. "I am sorry. I'll take as many hits as you want to give when I tell you."

"Yes! Nice one! No! No! Koneko, what did I teach you cuz it sure as hell ain't that?! Nice adapt! Holy shit! I didn't teach you that yet! You are amazing! What a genius" Without his notice, his aloof features stretched into a grin as Koneko's red crested eyes focused.

"That's right. When clouded by rage, remember what's important. You are doing great… Nice!" He thought when she delivered the final blow. Koneko approached the tree he was tied to, violently tugged her arm at the vines constrained him, and pulled.

"Nice. I'm saved," Naruto casually said. "You saved my heiny there, thanks and you were amazing," he added as the she-devil gave him a harsh glare. Her arm tentatively reached at him and her lips shaped themselves to expel the word, "run."

Tears slowly flooded her eyes. She could feel herself falling into the abyss of her mind as the world's life force turned her character into sedimental to sink into the ocean. "N-n-no. I don't want to. Not him. Not them. Anybody but them," she thought as power's sweet lulls concentrated on her ear.

"Hey… I am here." Warm arms embraced her frame.

She found herself jerked out her descent and her eyes peeled widely. "You saved me. You don't need this power. Hear me and listen to my voice," his serene voice slowly neutralized her aggression. "It is a river. Don't try to be the dam. Let it out. Breath in."

A sharp inhale rustled his shirt.

"Out."

Haaaa.

"In."

Fuuu.

"That's it. Let it flow away. Out"

Haaaa.

"You are doing great. In… Out."

A moment or two passed and Koneko's dazed mind found its body kneeling on the forest floor staring at the boy wearing posture dictating pride. "I-I controlled it," she muttered while her palms drifted up for her eyes to stare down at them.

"Good job. But this is only the beginning," Naruto said.

"What?!" Koneko nearly shouted.

"I can't teach you how to control your powers, but what I can do is keep you in control. You know… Sadako was more violent than you, so you are a child, both literally and figurat-OOFFFFF!" She gutted while puffing her cheeks.

"Okay… will… you always be there and be safe?" she whispered, allowing her tears to hasten their descent her cheeks. Her face spoke that she had decided being apprehensive about it. Her eyes darted to the destruction she caused and reflected awe, likely from thought of what she could do should she master sen jutsu.

"I just said that, didn't I, but sure. I, the great lord William Chase Bartholomew Godefroy White, or his excellent Uzumaki Naruto, promise to always be there for you." A small smile on his face accompanied him using a thumb to pry away her tears before touching her hand and interlocking their pinkies.

"Okay… I will become so strong you won't be in danger again… that damn fried chicken might come for you to spite President… I will tenderize him. If I had learned this earlier, I could have detected the monster. I will correct that." She tugged their interlocked hands up for them both to see. To both witness their pinkie promise.

"Sure. I will beat the shit out of any boys that come after you, kay?" he smiled before placing his free hand on her head. "Offf," he puffed out when she suddenly released hand hold and embraced him. His hand rose and fell to caress her head once more.

"Even the boys in the Yakuza?"

"Especially the boys in the Yakuza."

"If they got guns?"

"I have like 20 ghost soldiers. Besides, I am former gangbanger for the 8trae gangster crib. I can handle myself."

"Buy me lots of candy?"

"This town will have a supply shortage… just don't tell Rias, kay?" He really didn't feel being nagged about feeding a child too much candy.

Koneko's features twisted to a glistening grin. She flicked her head as looked at him and time seem to dialate. Floating droplets wobbled as light refracted into rgb sequences that bizarrely made the she-devil even more prominent. He was so struck by her overwhelming cuteness, he instinctively heightened his mind's perception to click pictures into its archives.

"Got it." Her soft voice lilted.

[-]

With Akeno, he found the most difficulty. Regardless, his success did not require an attempt as drastic as with the nekushou. Simple ol' talk no jutsu did the trick. First, Naruto looked into her problem and came up with blanks until Akeno revealed her true nature to him to make him hate her.

"You know Akeno, I think it's time you follow in Koneko's footsteps," Naruto suddenly proposed. He and she were dressed in light blue kimonos, and were sat on his couch watching The Ring. He honestly didn't know how to feel watching a movie that Sadako confirmed to be accurate to her former tendencies.

A frown crested her features, and a sigh left her lips. "You expected this discussion," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone. He let a moment pass, then gazed at Akeno, focusing her gaze on the screen. "You know… one of my greatest insecurities is my inability to defend you. I sometimes fear you will come to loathe me like your father when I am not around for some reason, not that I'd be useful."

She sighed, relenting her gaze to her by turning her neck to peer his eyes at him. "I dislike being all mushy, mushy and all that. My pride as a man can't stand it, but you are precious to me. All of you. If my opinion matters at all, then your fallen angel roots don't make a difference.

I care about Akeno; the fallen angel in her blood is also Akeno. I don't want Akeno to degrade her because of her roots nor watch Akeno degrade an entire species based on the mal of some individuals," Naruto explained. Her expression clouded over as she looked into his eyes.

A wing unfurled from her back, and her face looked prepped to spit on it. Her smooth hand travelled to grasp it communicated messages Naruto read with ease. Arguing with him was usually pointless, so she opted for silence.

Her eyes were like a scale, weighing his words and sight of the wing in her hand.

He was aware of her past. Sadako had spoken to him about the pesky humans she battled, and the Himejima clan were among them. Rias added a bit more to this information, stating that Akeno was banished and left the reason why in the air.

It turned out one of the ghosts he lived with was a witness to a fraction of Akeno's childhood and it gave the facts right in front of her. It had no tact.

Naruto and Akeno didn't speak on it that day, but their relationship strained as Akeno seemed to distance herself from him on occasion. He recognized the symptoms of fear of opinion because he felt it a lot when he was younger.

"You are unfair, you know," she whispered, widening Naruto eyes. "I didn't expect it to smooth over this quickly."

"I can never think of you like my father…" she stood from the edge of the couch, approached him, and gave him nose a first tour of her hair, complete with the scent of lilac.

"I hate these feathers because they took so much from me… they tie me to him," she stated with darkness and humor in equal measure. Her desire to laugh was restricted by tears swelled by memories of fire. Memories of people calling her a freak. Memories reminded her that her father was absent.

"You are unfair," she said, sobbing slightly.

"Well. I can't fight like you and the others; in fact, I am a liability that has the nerve to want protect you. I do my best to prove you guys being so kind to me is not a mistake, but I feel useless by the day. Except, I can do something. I can encourage you.

Please, Akeno. Use your powers and protect yourself and the others in my stead." He lowered his head.

"Ara, ara, I really can't refuse you, can I?" Akeno said as her eyes wrinkled laxly, crusting away her tears' path. Her hand crawled up his low back, settled on his head, and lightly rubbed his hair.

"Can I… we," she trailed off, blushing. You don't want to know.

"Eh, no. I ain't into shit that scandalous, you thirsty psycho," Naruto replied quickly, deflating the hybrid. "But I guess I can take you on a date later."

"Really?" She asked.

"Why not?" he shrugged before pulling away slightly and angling his face to dive his lips to her cheek.

"Hehe…"

"You two…" Akeno froze for a moment at the foreign voice before a salacious but regal smile shifted her expression. "Mind explaining what you are convincing my man to do, Akeno?" Rias questioned. She was dressed in a red skirt, a white shirt with vertical lining, a black corset, and black shoulder cape.

"I believe you mean our man."

-Soyuz Nerushimy Respublik Svobodnykh. Splotila Naveki Vekikaya Rus!

Both young women stared at Naruto blankly. While his phone played a certain national anthem, Sadako changed the television's contents to a crimson flag with a yellow hammer and sickle sigil.

"What? I had to," Naruto defended.

"Moron," Rias muttered before throwing her arms forward, leaping at the pair, and incrementing herself to the embrace. "Woah there, Spicy," Naruto crooned before reaching for her back and rubbing it. He sometimes called Pepper or Spicy because her ahoge and hair reminded him of peppers... which he liked.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving like that and half a year… I, you were right. I went to the Underworld and asked my mother to help with my power of destruction… and I also improved my magic and can use staffs too…" her muffled voice rapidly fired.

"Huh? Good job. No hard feelings… hot damn, Pepper, your power level is definitely over 9 000 now," he complimented, and Rias' ahoge twitched while her face flushed. "Sorry… forgot about that. Don't… don't ask how I kept my presence in the Underworld a secret from other devils."

Naruto's eyes flew open, "Hot damn, you planning on throwing off potential plans by being much stronger than they know… good job."

"Hehe… thanks. Now, sweetheart, what's this I hear about you freeing Gasper and actively interacting with Koneko while she uses something as dangerous as sen jutsu, hmmm?" Rias questioned with a smile that couldn't reach her eyes.

"Well, you see, my love. There's a perfectly reasonably explanation for all that…"

"And that is?"

"I've gotta get my ice cream from the oven," he replied, so weirdly both young women loosened their grips. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Naruto screamed before jumping into the TV.

"…"

"…"

The Soviet flag was updated to carry the caption, "OUR man."

"… Don't think you've escaped Mister. You and I having a long talk about your behaviour," Rias screamed at the television set.

"Ara, ara. Our dear Naruto is quite naughty, and I doubt Sadako will let us have him anytime soon… let's spar. I would like to see how far you have come, Rias," Akeno said.

"What do you mean, our? And you are on!" Rias replied with fire.

Needless to say, from that point on the seductress stopped seducing him to expose him for being like all the filthy men she hated. Instead, she seduced him to secure the warmth of his bed.

[-]

Cringe Omake I forgot to add

Rias, her peerage, and his ghosts ganged up on him, claiming he spent far too much time working. This was the reason he was dressed in Kuoh's male uniform and standing before a crowd of starry-eyed students. He took Kuoh's interview and came out with perfect scores because his education as a shinobi was incremented by his American-European education.

Sona Shitori, a peer whose name is dumber than him calling himself Menma, sent him a letter requesting he deal with the opening speech to encourage the students.

Yup, the great god of shinobi Uzumaki was being gazed at like an alien again. But it was fine. "Time to make you pay for forcing me to come to school, Rias."

"Well met, everyone. My name is William White, and I will be talking about how I got perfect scores. I know some of you are going to ask silly questions. Yes, I speak English, yes I am from the United States, no I don't drink beer through my butt, yes I own an armory's worth of guns, no these are not tattoos, yes I know Arnold Schwarzenegger. I bench press weights with him from time to time in Los Angeles."

"""WOOWWWWW!"""

The crowed cheered.

"This guy's full of shit!" Thought everyone who knew Naruto personally.

"Well, it all started after on my second year in middle school in the United States. After making friends with Dwyane Johnson… The Rock… I went to the bathroom where I was molested by an orange man who I would later find out was Donald Trump," he fake sniffled and ducked his face into elbow.

"My girlfriend left me for my uncle going, 'haha! You get molested by old wrinkly orange Republicans. Haha!' It was right there I swore I would have vengeance, so I started going to the gym and learned kung fu, karate, aikido, muay thai, and every martial art style known to man and went around beating the living shit out of orange people. One time, I had clapped a thousand of the fuckers at the same time like Steven Seagal.

I rushed at Donald and his guards managed to stop me. I was so close to stabbing Trump in the gay to halt his gay agenda but couldn't alas. I had to know. I had to know how every security system and algorithm in the world so I watched a thousand Indians until I coded an AI so powerful it caught him molesting his own daughter! Can you believe this shit?" Naruto growled.

"I finally found every answer I needed to get back at the fucker. I got old Bessy, my assault rifle, and got ready to Jennifer Hills from I spit on your grave the fuck outta Trump. But then. I forgave him. I found God and he taught me lots just like our beloved big sister Rias Gremory and her club. God bless their souls and may the lord bless all your souls," Naruto said with a small, innocent smile.

Students stared owlishly at the devils rushing to pull the plug suddenly collapsing and clutching their temples.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Rias shrieked mentally as she nursed her throbbing and stinging temples.

"I suck at explaining stuff but I'll give it a good. So we are like sheep, right? And God is like our shepard, see? He's trying to protect us from the wolves and whatnot, while leading us down a path to greener pastures which I'm pretty sure is a code for Heaven or something…

But trust me, you definitely wanna go to Heaven. 'cause like, there's tons of bodacious hot babes there and cool dudes surfin' on the clouds. Plus, nobody has to work anymore, so you can just chill, all day! You need this life! And all it costs is to be nice in this life. May God help you with all your endeavors," Naruto concluded closing his eyes.

"Amen!" called out a brunette friend of his.

"The path to Heaven is as thin as a needle's eye but with every good deed, it widens, so yeah. Be good to each other and never shame anyone for being unable to do anything because we achieve by joining hands. Together! We will devour Heaven's nachos!" Naruto exclaimed, drawing a small cheer from some.

As odd as his words may have been, the charisma and confidence oozing from them inspired most in the hall to cheer and clap. The stereotype of Americans being eccentric maniacs played to his favor.

"Speaking of Heaven. Y'all are going to hell."

"""What?"""

"YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU IN THE BACK! YOU OUTSIDE! EVERYBODY!"

"Nuh-uh! Not me!"

"ESPECIALLY YOU, ISSEI!" Naruto retorted harshly. He then turned to Sadako, who he planted into the crowd to help him with his prank.

"Samara! I saw you working at the orphanage, only to be pounced on by ten guys! And drizzling your shit into the caretaker's sandwich"

"THAT WAS ONLY TEN TIMES! WILLIAAAMMMMM! I AM A CHANGED WOMAN! I DON'T SUCK DICK FOR RENT MONEY NO MORE!"

"Yeah, yeah that's cuz you homeless, you crazy bitch. Stuffed like a jelly donut. Your taste in men is awful… and I would know. I was one of them!"

"Me too!"

"And me!"

"Myself included!"

"Samara a freak!"

"On me, I fucked!" chimed the other ghosts he planted in the crowd.

"Don't sound so proud you morons. There ain't no one in from here to Kyoto and Tokyo she hasn't sucked and fucked. Even Kiba hit!"

GASP!

"She didn't suck me off, brother William! This is unjust! Why?" yelled a bald student seating beside the brunette named Issei.

"YOU UGLLYYYYYY! AND YOU BALD!" Naruto responded, causing Rias, who had been spectating alongside Akeno and a girl named Sona, to cradle her face in her hands

End

Hi. This remake. Review and blah blah. No give me shit about grammar please, I already told you I'm in a rush and got no beta for this fic. Will deal with it later, got that other thing to release and real responsibilities and stuff.