That first day seemed so long. Though, to be fair, most days did. Thanks to amazing breakthroughs in modern medicine I was one hundred twenty-six years old. It was November 3rd, 2109. I had tended to my garden, done just a little smithing in the forge I'd made in my backyard. These old bones couldn't handle much, but I still managed to put a little hammer to steel. I fed the chickens, dogs, and cats. Then I made my way to the tv and turned on the XBox.
I was going to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Dragon Age: Origins with a fresh playthrough. Fresh is relative, of course. I'd played the game so many times that there wasn't any kind of playthrough I hadn't enjoyed. But that never really stopped me from enjoying the game. I'd fallen in love with it back when it had originally released and I'd played it so many times since then that it was essentially a comfort experience for me.
The Blood Dragon swirled and screamed onto the screen. The title screen popped up and the rising tones of the theme music greeted me. New game. It was time to create a character. I decided that for this run I was going to play a female dwarf noble. I always wished there was a way to mod the console version to play as a mage this way, but that was the limitation of the console version. I was alright with that.
My mind was ready to start the game, but my body had other plans. Even as I was preparing to press start, my eyelids grew heavy. I wasn't in any hurry. I didn't really have anything else to do, after all. So I allowed myself to drift off for a little nap to the sound of the game's music.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up to a very different view. My tv, pictures, and old dvd's were replaced with a high stone ceiling, muffled excitement, and strange clarity of vision that I hadn't had for nearly seventy years. I tried to move but my arms would barely respond properly to my commands, my head ws heavier than it had been since I could remember. I could barely move without some form of over exaggeration, as if my body wasn't used to receiving commands at all.
That's when someone came over and looked down at me. Maybe that was it? Had I somehow fallen off the couch and hit my head? Was I in a hospital? That would explain a few things. That theory went out the window when the person stopped being a blur and my eyes managed to focus in on him. No doctor in the world would have a beard that long, that thing, or that adorned with rings.
He reached down and scooped me up as easily as one would scoop up a… baby? He hugged me to his chest and smiled down at me. He turned and I was able to move my head enough to find a crowd of other people staring up at me. Were they… dwarves?! Short, stout, bearded. Stone floors, walls, ceilings. Why did this all seem so familiar?
"My people!" the one who was carrying me called out. "It is with great pleasure that I present to you your new princess! Raise your voices and your cups in celebration! I present to you, Merida Aeducan, born in this tenth year of the ninth era!"
The people below let out a loud series of joyous cheers. The sound was almost painful, but everything suddenly clicked! I was being held by Endrin Aeducan, the father of the noble dwarf protagonist in Dragon Age: Origins! The realization nearly overwhelmed me when two others stepped up to join Endrin's… I mean, my father's side. A younger looking dwarf with a stern demeanor, and a female dwarf around my father's age both stood to either side of my father.
"She's so well behaved. Look at her, not even a chirp of protest," the female said with a tired smile. That had to be Olinda! That's actually Olinda, Endrin's wife and my mother! I finally got to see her. She was never in the games so this was a real treat!
"Indeed, mother!" the stern looking male dwarf replied. "She truly has the countenance of an Aeducan."
"Trian!" a sharp, high pitched voice called out. Was that… my voice?
It took a moment to realize that the cheering had stopped. Father, mother, and Trian were all staring down at me in shock and confusion. I blinked up at them, then with great effort turned my head to see the crowd frozen in place, gawking up at us. I turned back to look at my family. I was just as confused as they were.
"Did she just say my name?" Trian asked with shock in his voice.
"She did," Father confirmed.
"She really did!" Mother explained and laughed.
That's when I remember what Trian was like in the game. He was principled, stern, pragmatic, and taciturn. If you read his codex and journal entries you'd understand that it was never meant out of anger or spite. He only ever wanted what was truly best for Orzammar, and possibly to secure his own power. For the most part, he was a good person, if you measured good by being willing to grind everything in your way down so that others could be lifted up. Still, he could come off as arrogant and aggressive towards the player character. I decided I'd try to change that starting right now.
With a surge of effort I raised my hands up to reached towards my brother, hands outstretched, and tried to smile as best as I could, "Trian! Trian!"
Train looked taken aback but Father only chuckled as he offered me over to my brother, "It seems she wants you to hold her, Trian."
"Days old and already speaking!" Mother chimed in. "And she learned your name first, Trian! She must truly love you! Go on and hold her."
Trian looked flustered as he begrudgingly took me into his arms, "I've barely even seen her since she was born."
"That doesn't seem to matter," Mother cooed.
"Indeed," Father added. "It seems you've made quite the impression on her. And look, she seems so secure with you holding her."
It was tough just to say Trian's name, or anything for that matter. This body simply wasn't used to speaking yet. Still, I was determined to ingratiate myself with him no matter what. I took as deep a breath as I could manage and huffed out, "Brother. Safe."
Now, that might not seem like a lot, but it was a great deal of effort. The body of a baby isn't all that strong. All that effort took its toll and I started to drift back off to sleep, but not before feeling Trian's hold on me grow firmer and hearing him say 'Indeed, sister. You are safe with me.'
That first year was largely uneventful. I learned to walk quickly enough. After all, I'd been doing it for over a century by now. Talking came quickly too once I got used to it. I never realized that being so young allowed you to burn through so much energy so quickly. I finally understood naps as a child. I had so much energy that I could do so much in just a few hours but would need to nap to regain that energy. It was amazing.
Trian had taken me under his wing, defying Mother and Father when they suggested I be given tutors. He taught me to read and write the Dwarven language. He brought me to the Shaperate daily to instruct me on the history of the dwarves. There was so much lore to discover that I began borrowing stacks of books to read while I wasn't Shaper was none too pleased about that, but he wasn't about to argue with Trian.
Along with my history lessons, Trian ensured that I learned the names, sigils, and history of every noble house in Orzammar. Great or small, I'd know them all (as Trian was fond of saying). By the time I was ready to turn one, Trian and I were an inseparable pair. He made sure I went with him wherever he needed to go, to learn and observe. Father and Mother barely got to see me, though when they did they would dote on me. Trian insisted that I be treated as if I were his age, but our parents seemed to want to cherish what little time they had with me.
Things were going well that first year until the night before my birthday. That evening, something had happened to me that had happened in over a year. It was something that I had assumed would never happen to me again. When it happened, I was amazed. That night I dreamed.
I stood in the haze of the Fade, mist gathered at my feet as I looked out at the twisted reimagining of the throne room. Upon the throne sat my Father. He leaned in and beckoned me forward.
"Who are you?" I asked. My cherubic voice was more stern than this spirit might have expected.
It looked surprised, then smiled, "What do you mean? I'm your father. Don't you recognize me?"
I knew better than to fall for this. I was in the Fade, but dwarves aren't supposed to be able to access the Fade. The Fade is the realm of spirits and dreams, and dwarves didn't dream. Maybe I was able to because I wasn't originally a dwarf? Regardless, there was no way I was going to be swayed by some demon.
I crossed my arms and stood up straight, giving off the most commanding presence as I could manage for a one year old, "Don't toy with me, demon. I know what you are and what you're trying to do. You'll get nothing from me."
'Father' stood from the throne and placed its hands behind its back, "It seems not. But you are so curious. I've never seen something like you before. You shouldn't be here. How did you manage to enter the Fade?"
"That's my secret," I said flatly. I was about to tell it that I didn't know. "Now leave me alone. This is my realm and you aren't welcome."
"You're realm?" the spirit asked incredulously. "You're realm? This is the Fade, child of stone! This is the realm where I live and you have no claim to it!"
"Wrong!" I responded, my confidence in the world's lore coming back to me. "This area of the Fade might be where you reside, but it is shaped by the dreamer; namely me! You didn't choose the throne room, my mind did! You only chose a form I might trust to ingratiate yourself to me."
"So young, yet so knowledgeable," the spirit chuckled. "I admit, I underestimated you. Can you ever forgive me?"
Its tone suggested mock humility, but I was willing to play the game. After all, I knew of several interesting circumstances concerning spirits and morals. I considered my options for a few moments before replying.
"What do you offer for my forgiveness?" I asked with as authoritarian and noble a tone as I could muster.
The spirit paused. I couldn't tell if it was confused or surprised at my question. "What?" it finally asked.
"You heard me," I snapped back. "You have offended my intelligence and mocked the image of my father; King Endrin Aeducan, with your charade. You asked for my forgiveness. What do you offer for it?"
Spirits in the Fade wanted nothing more than to enter the physical world. That would make pacts and deals in the hopes of tricking mortals into allowing them to possess their bodies. But that was when a mortal wanted something from the spirit. This time, the spirit had asked for something even if it didn't mean it. Spirits were influenced by the minds and imaginations of mortals. So in my mind, I took the offer as genuine. The spirit, in turn, was influenced to believe it was.
"I have nothing to offer for your forgiveness," it said as it tried to process what was happening.
"Wrong," I said as I smiled confidently. "You have your service and your knowledge of the Fade. Swear your service to me, and me alone, and I will forgive you for your rudeness. You will be free to do what you will while I'm awake. However, when I come to the Fade, you will help me do whatever it is I need help doing. Do you agree?"
It took the spirit several moments to consider the offer before it knelt in front me, transforming from the image of my father and into a spirit of Purpose, "I agree. To gain your forgiveness, I will serve and aid you, child of the stone."
"Princess Merida Aeducan," I corrected the spirit as I reached up to place a hand on its shoulder. Even kneeling it was still considerably taller than I was. "You may call me Princess Merida."
"As you wish, Princess Merida," Purpose said as it looked at me. It almost seemed pleased to have a reason to interact with me. "Is there anything I can help you with before you wake?"
I grinned and nodded, "As a matter of fact, there is."