The 7 Stages of Grief are the common actions of any Human being after losing something of significance or great importance.

Shock.

The First part of these 7 stages, and the most well recognised, when you hear something you weren't expecting to hear, it impacts you, you aren't able to process information that would normally be easily understood.

Denial.

From here, it only gets worse, denial, the reality before you is one that is unacceptable to your current mindscape, how could you simply accept tragedy into yourself? of course you'd reject it, you'd reject it with all your will, all your might, but it doesn't change the reality, does it? it still happened.

Anger.

Anger is a natural response to displeasure, we all lash out at the smallest things, things that don't matter, and especially things that do, unfortunately, all this rage doesn't accomplish anything, it might feel good to let out, but it's a useless endeavor, as angry as you are, you hurt everyone but yourself.

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND YET?

IT'S ALL POINTLESS, HUMAN NATURE IS AN INHERENTLY FLAWED CONCEPT, WHY ATTEMPT TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAT IS ILLOGICAL ON ALL POINTS.

YOUR FEELINGS.

YOUR DREAMS.

YOUR IDEALS.

YOUR LOVED ONES.

THEY MEAN NOTHING.

It confuses me greatly, but i can't help but be attracted to it, it's easy to want to root for.

I love it.

I hate it.

Even if i don't understand, Continue to Mourn, the end of you all strangely beautiful.

Continue to find the Beauty.

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Hmm? Who am I?

Just some Wannabe Superhero.

"Ishtar? ISHTAR!"

Ritsuka screamed out, Ishtar had been unresponsive for roughly 6 minutes, Nightingale was attempting to examine her unmoving body, while Archer tried to calm Ritsuka down.

"Master, Calm yourself, she'll be fine."

This didn't bode well with Ritsuka however.

"Hell no! 'Fine' Isn't good enough!"

He smashes his fist against the wall, causing blood to leak out of his hand, stanning the wall with his blood, to everyone in the room, it was clear Ritsuka Fujimaru wasn't in the right mind.

*Chop*

This came to ahead when Nightingale knocked Ritsuka out with a small neck chop, allowing him to fall gracefully into the strong arms of Archer, who simply sighed, unhappy with his Master's current behavior, he silently moved out the room, Ritsuka in tow, leaving Da Vinci and Nightingale.

"...So...Is she alright Da Vinci?"

Despite being a Medical Officer, and currently examining Ishtar, it was obvious that Da Vinci would know more about the Magical Part of Servants, Nightingale knew her fair share, but not even close as much as Da Vinci knew.

Da Vinci sighed.

"I couldn't tell, it's clear some sort of similar feeling ignited the consciousness of Rin Tohsaka, but whatever she's seeing right now, could be anything, some hunky boys, some childhood memories..."

Da Vinci stared down at Ishtar's now distressed body.

"Or even Nightmares."

Nightingale looked up at Da Vinci, with a frustrated yet worried expression.

Hell.

Rin Tohsaka saw hell.

She was walking on what felt like molten rock, even if i was only just rubble, her feet ached, her eyes hurt from the smoke, and she felt like dying would be the better option.

Ishtar simply watched that young girl struggle, it meant nothing to her, she didn't hold a stake in this young girl's nightmare, she was simply a watcher, an obversever.

As she aimlessly wandered, Ishtar silently hoped she would collapse soon, the sooner she did, the quicker she could fix this whole situation.

It was a simple idea really, all she had to do was avoid witnessing or being a part of anything that would remind Rin Tohsaka of her past, Ishtar had access to her, all she would have to do was avoid anything that'd cause her vessel's body to move instinctually.

But really, all she had to do, to save herself, was avoid the Heroic Spirit Emiya Lily.

If he was the main cause for her situation, avoiding him was the most obvious solution.

Yes, Ishtar would abandon Shirou Emiya to save herself, it was as simple as that...

'Wait...abandon?'

Abandon was a word that came to mind, she would be abandoning him, however, it just didn't make sense, how could she abandon her if she's never known who he was-

'Ah, it's her instinct again.'

As she watched the young girl pitfully struggle against her surroundings, she felt a pang in her chest, as anyone would after seeing someone innocent suffer for nothing, it was simply cruel, however-

"Damnit! Rin Tohsaka isn't one for pity!"

She screamed out in triumph, not accepting her situation in the slightest, which surprised Ishtar.

"SHIROU! You damn idiot! i'll drag right back out from Hell! You know damn well that Satan doesn't scare me!"

Ishtar sweatdropped, as she saw Rin drag her broken body throughout the rubble, she truly seemed unstoppable.

As much as Ishtar found it impressive, it left her confused, was this even a nightmare?

Was...this the future?

...She didn't know, she couldn't have possibly guessed, this body is not her own, she is unfamiliar with many of its tendencies and instincts, it was simply impossible.

But...despite being unfamiliar, Ishtar recognised that this wasn't a nightmare, it was fear incarnate.

Shirou was sitting on a bench, his head down.

There was no one around, and it wasn't as if he had left chaldea, no, he was simply sitting on a model of a bench near the training room, it was clear something was amiss.

He cursed, he couldn't help it, there's no way wouldn't curse this situation, he wanted to introduce himself, say hello, but instead, he avoided her, he avoided everyone, Ishtar wasn't his friend, she just looked like her, she just acted similar, it..

It wasn't her.

he told himself that he had no connection to her, that was the truth...

'Emiya-Kun.'

But he couldn't help it, he wanted her back, it was a disgusting selfish feeling, however, all he wanted at that moment was to talk to and laugh with someone who'd never given up on him, no matter what.

"Shirou Emiya."

A Shocked expression suddenly burned itself onto his face as he heard a familliar voice, however, it wasn't soothing like Artoria's, it wasn't passionate like Rin's, it wasn't as sweet as-

No, comparisons didn't matter, they didn't mean anything right now, the truth was, that Shirou Emiya heard a voice he never wanted to hear again.

"Kotomine...Kirei!"

He turned around and glared as he saw the Fake Priest, whilst he simply smirked in retaliation.

"Ah, I knew you had some sort of relationship with my Vessel, whenever I laid my eyes on you, it felt like you were someone i could not ever attempt to accept, this vessel truly hated you, didn't he?"

Rasputin simply continued to smirk, this was the most fun he's had in ages, something he soon realised the origin of.

"I see, No wonder why Ishtar is currently struggling, when indulging in the instincts of your vessel, you feel a sense of joy for something you don't understand, and yet, it feels fulfilling."

His smirk grows wider, Shirou's eyes widen and he feels himself falter a little, Rasputin didn't understand those feelings that the body of Kotomine Kirei had, but he related to them, and enjoyed him.

"Alas, if I indulge too much in these instincts, I'd be handing over my consciousness as a Servant to an Evil Bastard, wouldn't I?"

Almost on instinct, the firing hammer in Shirou's head went off, as he attempted to project the most powerful weapon he could

"Servant's mustn't fight each other, Shirou Emiya."

The projection soon dissipated, as if there were nothing there in the first place, yet the feeling of pure hatred leaking from his very being didn't move at all.

"What's happening to Tohsaka you bastard?"

A beat passes.

"She is struggling to keep her vessel's body at bay, if continued, she'll likely cease."

'Cease'

Something inside of Shirou's heart broke.

"...Why...Why are YOU of all people telling me this!"

He can't help but tighten his fist at his joyful expression, Shirou knew deep down how much Kirei was enjoying this, enjoying watching him be completely helpless in someone's time of need.

"It's quite simple, Shirou Emiya."

He tip toes closer and closer to the young red haired servant.

"You have a choice."

Shirou didn't understand, but he felt something deep within his being telling him that this wasn't anything good.

He felt himself nervously shutter a little.

"What do you mean..?"

Rasputin(?) stares straight into Shirou's eyes, and speaks.

"You can choose who you want to save, Ishtar, The Servant who uses the body, Or Rin Tohsaka, The Owner of the body."

He held out both of his hands as he spoke.

Shirou felt a pit begin to form in his stomach, that shouldn't be possible, would he be risking Rin's existence? What did that even mean? Was this stupid fake priest trying to mess with him? If so it was working.

Sensing The Boy's doubt, he spoke once more.

"Don't fret Boy, it's an easy choice, either you allow Ishtar to continue to use Rin's body, or you don't, let her consciousness fade, and bring your friend back to you."

It finally clicked in his head, it wasn't an ultimatum, it was simply a decision, the selfless one, or the selfish one.

To Sacrifice a person for a loved one.

Or to Never see a loved one again.

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Shirou knew this, this would likely be his last chance to see Rin before truly attempting to become a Superhero, and before finding and reuniting with Saber in Avalon, that was his fate, the fate of Emiya Shirou laid with becoming a Superhero and resting eternally after his job was finished in Avalon.

It was a simple choice.

To be selfish.

Or

To be selfless.

Rasputin stepped back into the shadows and disappeared, allowing Shirou to think of his next actions.

It was Pointless, at least, it felt like so.

Rin Tohsaka was currently traversing a war torn hell-like landscape, searching endlessly it seemed, no matter what, she wouldn't give up, Ishtar found it strangely admirable, doing something that seemed pointless, over and over, just to prove you could was nothing short of admirable.

At last, she found that red haired boy, she found Shirou, her joy was quickly taken away by just a glance however, he was on his knees, staring at the red sky.

As Rin took one step forward-

*BZZT*

Shirou's image changed into the image of a large tanned man with white hair, his body stabbed with swords from all directions.

She frowned as she took another step forward, each step seemed to blur the lines between that tanned man and the boy she had grown to love from the bottom of her heart.

"Shirou."

She kneeled down, and hugged him from behind.

"Please, come back."

She begged, she felt her eyes begin to water up a little, before she forced them to dry, Rin Tohsaka would never cry in front of a boy y'know.

Shirou(?) simply stared back with a blank expression, before finally answering her.

"You can't save me Rin, I'm so sorry."

It only took one sentence to completely break Rin's heart, she didn't let go, she didn't cry, she simply prayed, prayed to anyone who could hear her.

"Please Save Him."

He was unsaveable, that was the truth, no amount of love, no amount of logic, no amount of truth could stop him, he was truly a condemned existence, only a god could save such a condemned and distorted soul like his.

Lucky Her.

Shirou looked upon Ishtar's unconscious body, he made his choice, he wanted to be as a selfish as he could, he wanted Rin back, and if that meant sacrificing Ishtar then-

He felt his hand start shaking.

Then-

His eyes began to tear up.

Then-

His Lungs began to breathe irregularly

Then-

Stress fills every corner of my body.

-Then Finally, i might be able to appreciate you like you appreciated me, then finally, i could hold you together like you did for me, and then finally, i might maybe, just maybe, be worthy of you, be worthy of being your friend, your equal, maybe then, even a sinner like me could finally live happily ever after.

And yet, I can't.

Shirou collapses next to her idol body, and begins to sob.

"I'm sorry Tohsaka, I'm so-so sorry, I know I'm an idiot, but I can't-i can't give away someone else's life for yours."

Even if he wanted it more than anything else, even if he desired it more than reaching that utopia, he wanted to see her again, he felt a pang of guilt in his heart, he didn't deserve this, he was undervaluing that ever distant utopia because the object of all his affections was already in arms lengths.

But, even if being in her arms felt right, how could he ever abandon the lonely arms of his closest friend?

He was already selfish, and he could not continue to be so.

"It's alright Emiya-Kun."

Shirou's eyes popped up, as Ishtar(?) woke up, with a soft smile on her face, she attempted to cup Shirou's face, which he avoided by moving back, while he muttered 'No' under his breath.

"I CAN'T!"

He screams out, something with echoes across the room.

"I can't...i can't do it, i can't allow you to-"

Ishtar takes a step closer to Shirou, her soft smile still evident.

"Stop being an Idiot Shirou, I'm granting Rin Tohsaka her wish, all I need for you is to take one step towards me."

She stands in front of him, waiting for his answer, though he seemed to hesitate, which made Ishtar come ever so closer to popping a blood vessel.

She sighs, but laments and continues to smile.

"Of course she loves you, you're almost just as stubborn...Almost."

She takes a half step forward.

"If you can't take a full step, take a half step, meet me in the middle."

Ishtar continues to smile, like an elderly woman, soon to meet her end, Shirou could feel her existence fading away.

"It's...unfair, to you I mean, you have to grant the wish of a selfish bastard like me."

She puts her hands behind her back and leans forward with a big smirk on her face.

"I'd be a terrible god of love if i couldn't grant some selfish desires~"

Despite his initial hesitation, Shirou starts to smile as well.

"Heh, you're the worst, Goddess."

He takes a half step forward, and embraces her, though a part of Ishtar, before fading completely, feeling disappointed, and kisses Shirou, very very passionately.

After a moment, Shirou took a breath of air.

"Hey Rin."

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"Hello Emiya-Kun."

JESUS CHRIST

Sorry if this took a while, i'm trying to fix some things with my writing, the old plan was to plug whatever i typed out into a spell checker website, but that screwed up a lot sentances and words, it's gotten annoying, so i'll try something different, put some more effort in.

Thanks for reading tho!

Review Replies

Guest chapter 7 . Feb 17

Your welcome and thanks for the reply. I really hope you will make that omake

Answer : It's coming man

abuseempetiness chapter 1 . Feb 16

now the last is muramasa, what will u make of him?

Answer : maybe not the last, but he'll get a chapter or so.

abuseEchonic chapter 7 . Feb 16

Holy shit the way Emiya alter killed Rin was pretty fucking cool.

Answer : Thanks, considering MoS Shirou Solos The Grail War after that bad end, it's just an idea of how he'd get it done, so thanks!

abuseSentinalSlice chapter 7 . Feb 16

Great chapter. I see now that Shirou was inspired by Emiya Alter

Answer : something like that? not so sure what you mean.

abusenewsbacks45 chapter 7 . Feb 16

Emiya Alter isn't MoS shirou, he is an alternate version of Emiya Extra but it's still a good chapter

Answer : fuck, my bad, it's too late to go back now, and it's also wayyyy too cool of a concept to scrap, thanks tho.

abuseDarth Kyuubi kurama chapter 7 . Feb 16

Great chapter .

Answer : Thank u :

abuseDannyPhantom619 chapter 7 . Feb 16

Can't imagine Shirou's reaction seeing Jaguar Warrior/Taiga, Astrea/Luvia, Parvati & Kama/Sakura, Sitonai/Illya, and Prisma!Illya.

Answer : Jesus, we'll do the lolils later.

abusekeybladelight chapter 7 . Feb 16

Well EMIYA alter saw is past self caster but I wonder will Shirou meet medusa, the rest of the emiya family, sitonai and maybe the rest of the knights of the round table

Answer : yesn't