Disbelief, quickly overridden by a burst of undeniable acceptance. Thorin looked from Fili to his wife, and then back to Fili. He knew that his eldest nephew would never dare to lie about something like this. Arms and torso shaking, from both emotional and physical pain. Suppressed tears fighting helplessly not to be shed, only for him to lose that battle within seconds.
It was almost unbearable to watch - Thorin and Fili breaking down in a display of emotions that she was certain had never happened before. His grandfather Thror, beheaded in front of him; then his father Thrain, taken away as a prisoner; and now his youngest nephew, who should have outlived him by all natural laws. Kili, who was so young, innocent, and carefree.
Katniss caught herself wondering if that sort of pain was similar to what families that lost one of their children to the Games had to go through. She was suddenly grateful for being able to have the choice to volunteer and take Prim's place at that sick event. There was no doubt Fili would have done the same. So would Thorin.
The emotional stress, with the added toll of his amputation and pain, was enough to make Thorin fall unconscious a few minutes after he received the news.
Shortly after that, Óin was summoned from his rest to stay with Thorin. That decision was made by Fili, who took the task given by his Uncle to ensure Katniss' well-being very seriously. The now crown Prince of Erebor personally escorted her to the clean bed chambers that now belonged to her and Thorin. Two maids among the refugees were called to help her bathe, a thing that Katniss would have copiously fought against if she had any strength left in her body.
Nightmares miraculously eluded her sleep, and when she woke up, she was clean, rested, and physically ready to face the day ahead. But deep inside, she didn't want to leave the warmth of her bed. She had a hunch about the sort of things that would be waiting for her outside the safety of her quarters, and just the thought of facing it was already overwhelming.
Despite that, she stood up and went to the in-suite bathroom to relieve herself, splashed some water on her face, and got ready for another busy day ahead.
Her first stop of the day was the improvised healing halls. There were fewer injured resting on the laid-down cots. If this was due to soldiers having fully recovered or succumbed to their eternal slumber she did not know. However, it was less chaotic than it had been the previous night. Katniss walked through the laid cots watching a woman carrying a tray of stew and offering to the injured elf that had handed Katniss his horse; meanwhile, an elf and a dwarf were working together on changing the bandages of a man with an injury on his chest.
It was heart-warming. Men, elves, and dwarves all working together in perfect harmony. She only hoped that this hard-earned peace among the three races would remain after they parted ways and went to live their separate lives, each race with their own kin.
When Katniss arrived where Thorin was sleeping, she was surprised to find none less than Gandalf himself, smoking on his long pipe, seated on the chair next to Thorin's bed that she had occupied not long ago. She blinked once. She blinked again. Then she blinked multiple times.
"Lady Katniss, it is nice to see you," the Grey wizard greeted her with a small bow. "You look well rested."
Katniss straightened herself, trying to conceal her emotions.
"I… I didn't expect to see you here," she told him honestly, as she approached Thorin's bed and stood opposite Gandalf.
She touched her husband's forehead, looking for a sign of a fever, but there was thankfully none. She then wondered if Thorin had recovered enough to be outside of the danger zone by now. Would the healers consider him well enough to be transferred to their bedroom soon? While she was lost in her thoughts, Gandalf's gaze followed her around the room like a hawk.
"I volunteered to take this watch, hoping that I would see you soon enough. Some things must be discussed."
"Well, I'm here." Her eyes left Thorin's unconscious body and found the wizard's.
"Am I right to assume that you remember the goldsickness that has befallen Thorin since you reached Erebor?"
Katniss sighed and crossed her arms.
"Of course."
"Am I also right to assume that his love for you allowed him to break free from it, at least for a while?"
Katniss frowned.
"I don't know how it happened..."
Gandalf hummed to himself and blew a few smoke rings from his pipe. Katniss intensified her frown. They remained in silence for a while – Katniss's gaze looked on the ancient wizard who by his turn seemed to be deeply lost inside his own thoughts.
"Why are you asking that?"
Gandalf's eyes were locked on hers.
"The Arkenstone. There is a powerful curse on the Arkenstone that feeds his greed and after years under the influence of a dragon…" Gandalf shook his head and put down his pipe. "I suspected that much when Thror was the King Under the Mountain His goldsickness only started after the Arkenstone was found. But I never had the chance to put my theory to the test until now."
Katniss' eyes and mouth were wide open in shock.
"A curse?"
"Yes, a curse, Katniss. I broke the curse once, and I believe you have done the same at least twice. I remember you mentioning seeing a glimpse of old Thorin that night you visited us in Dale. And I believe you somehow managed to do that again while both of you were out of sight before the battle."
"Yes… I guess," she answered with a frown.
Gandalf nodded.
"I believe Master Oakenshield to be safe for the time being. On my request, Thorin's most trusted kinsmen took the Arkenstone to the deepest mines of Erebor. But I fear this goldsickness will return. And I fear this curse will only grow stronger with time."
Katniss gasped. Then she looked back at Thorin, who was oblivious to their discussion. She couldn't accept it. She would not accept this fate.
"Is there anything that can be done?"
"I have a few ideas. Destroying it for good is one. But I don't think that any dwarrow would be pleased seeing that happening to their most beloved jewel. I fear it might cause an uproar, and lead to a tremendous political instability between all the dwarven kingdoms."
"That stone can burn in hell for all I care!"
Gandalf laughed. Meanwhile, her eyes were burning as she failed to find any amusement in the situation they were in.
"I will destroy it myself if it means I can have him with me. Not the insane person he became under the influence of that sodding stone," she said trembling with rage.
Gandalf stood up and began walking towards her, making her feel suddenly very self-conscious about how small she was compared to the grey wizard.
"Destroying it is our last resort. And as I explained, that wouldn't be without consequences. I say we wait and see how Thorin deals with the Arkenstone being in Erebor but far away from his reach. If he copes well, we can see what he will do when it's mentioned to him. If he remains unaffected, we could try to bury it underneath the mountain with his leg."
She frowned and her lips twisted with an expression of pure spite.
"Burying his leg?"
"Burying lost limbs is a common practice of his people, Katniss. They bury the limbs in the same place where the rest of the body will rest one day. A ceremony will probably be held once there is no longer any doubt of Thorin's full recovery."
"And you want his feet to be buried with his stone?"
"Precisely. There won't be any argument about whether the Arkenstone remain under his power. This will suffice for him to secure the unification of the dwarven kingdoms. And if we can do that while preventing the Arkenstone from poisoning his mind with goldlust…"
Katniss gasped as she finally understood where he wanted to go.
"And if that is not enough?"
"Then at least you will always be here to break the spell and help him to see reason. I think it is wise to try this before going to the most drastic measure of destroying it for good. The last thing we need is a dwarven clan war." Gandalf shook his head as if the mere thought of another pointless war was something he didn't want to consider.
"Do I have your agreement with this plan? When the time comes, will you help me to convince Thorin to keep the Arkenstone buried with his lost limb and his ancestors?"
Katniss bit her lips, but she nodded as she sat down on the chair that had been occupied by the wizard a few moments before now.
"Yes. Count me in."
And Gandalf left her alone with her unconscious husband with one last bow and a smile.
It took three more days for Óin and the elven healers to decide that it was safe enough to transfer Thorin to their quarters. Thorin was now awake for longer periods, which Katniss wasn't entirely sure was a good thing or not, as the grief for Kili's death stung deeply. Katniss knew he was putting on a brave face in front of the others, as he needed to appear strong to the others, but now he no longer attempted to hide his true emotions from her.
On the other hand, it was a relief that at least Fili's mind was occupied by his new responsibilities of running the mountain. While Fili was busy sending messengers and traders to gather supplies in the nearby settlements, keeping the order and setting details on their trade deals with Mirkwood, Katniss spent most of her time tending to Thorin's needs. However, she also took up the task of ensuring that the children from Lake Town who had been orphaned after Smaug's attack and the battle were being well looked after.
During one of Fili's visits to his sleeping Uncle, Katniss pulled him aside and revealed Gandalf's plan for the Arkenstone to the crown prince.
"I think it is working. He hasn't shown any sign of gold sickness while here with me. And you can see the temptation in this room, it is covered in gold from floor to ceiling."
Fili looked at the many trinkets that adorned the room then nodded.
"Well… if it is for Uncle's health, I will support it. We'll do whatever it takes."
"Gandalf is coming tomorrow morning to help me to bring this up with him. It would be good if you, Balin and Dwalin could be present as well."
"Dwalin is busy doing something secret on Gandalf's request with a few members of the company, Bilbo included. Now you mentioned this, I think we both can imagine what they've been up to lately."
She gave him a short confirmation nod before she spoke again.
"Will you join us?"
"Of course, Irak'ammad. We are in this together."
The next day, when Thorin was having his breakfast sitting at the newly repaired table of his quarters, Katniss welcomed Fili and Balin, quickly followed by Gandalf. Thorin twisted his lips and scrunched his thick browns.
"What's the matter?" he said at once, wiping his mouth from the remains of egg and bacon with a white cloth.
Katniss and Fili exchanged a glance, but Gandalf was the one who ended up addressing the elephant in the room.
"Thorin, we are here to discuss your goldsickness."
Thorin threw the napkin on the table with way more force than it was needed. Katniss was certain that if he could stand up, he would have done it now if he hadn't done it already.
"I'm cured," he answered briskly.
"For now, right you are. But I've seen the Arkenstone, Thorin, and I'm certain it has been cursed. It was the reason behind Thrór's downfall. "
Thorin's jaw dropped and his eyes were wide open.
"The Arkenstone? Where is it?" he looked around the room, from one face to the other. Everyone remained silent.
"Where is my Arkenstone? Answer your king!" he said the last word looking directly into Balin's eyes.
"My brother has it. He and a few members of the company are guarding it day and night. Following Gandalf's suggestion, we took it to Erebor's deepest mines, to keep it away from you. Gandalf insisted this would aid in your recovery."
Thorin's eyes darkened with rage. He fumed at Gandalf as he shouted "How dare you keep me away from my birthright!" he then glared at Balin and Fili "And you, how dare you follow his orders and hide the king's jewel from me? AM I NOT THE KING?"
Gandalf closed his eyes and sighed. Balin avoided looking at his king and Fili threw a worried glance at Katniss, who was frowning and already marching in large steps to where Thorin was seated. When she got there, she raised her hand and smacked his face with all the strength she could master.
"Katniss!" she heard Balin's reprimand from a distance, and Fili was already rushing towards where she was.
"Look at me!" she said, with steel in her voice, to Thorin, whose eyes were wide in astonishment, but did as she demanded. Fili was restraining both her arms, but she stood her ground refusing to walk away. "I will not lose you again for this gold nonsense! Do you hear me?"
Thorin blinked dumbfounded, and then quickly made a sign in Iglemesh for Fili to release her, which he did promptly. Katniss then kneeled in front of her husband, tears fighting to leave her eyes, but she somehow managed to suppress them.
"You will order this sodding…" She clutched both his hands in anger and took a deep breath to try to calm herself down "...Arkenstone to be buried with the limb you lost. You will do that now, and you will do that willingly. You will do that because I love you, and I refuse to lose you again for this gold-blasted sickness."
Thorin's eyes widened even more, and Katniss looked straight at his eyes, refusing to back down. Thorin nodded. Then turned to face Balin.
"Do as your Queen commands."
Katniss closed her eyes, touching her forehead to their clasped hands, still trying to prevent the repressed tears from rolling down her eyes. She took a deep breath whilst she remained with her eyes closed. She then felt familiar lips kissing the crown of her head, the smell of tobacco and the feel of his beard on her soft skin. She sighed again, trying to believe that everything was going to be all right.
"This was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Yes, I believe this should be enough." Gandalf scratched his beard while contemplating the ceiling for a moment before he returned his attention to the rules of Erebor. "Well done, Lady Katniss. Wise decision, King Thorin," Gandalf bowed down before he rushed out of their private quarters without saying anything more.
"Where is he going in such a hurry?" Fili asked.
"Oh, there is little point in trying to understand the business of a wizard, Laddie."
Balin and Fili stayed there a little longer. They wanted to inform Thorin about things that had happened in Erebor while he was unconscious – the death tolls, the number of injured, how many refugees from Lake Town were now to stay under their protection and called Erebor their temporary home.
Katniss allowed them some space while paying scarcely any attention to their conversation. While they talked, she gathered some hot water and clean bandages to clean Thorin's stump like Óin had taught her. When they left, she sat on the empty chair in front of his own.
"You did it again. You fought the goldsickness. You fought it and you came back to me."
"Aye."
He gave a gentle squeeze on her hand. She got his stump on her lap and slowly began to undo the bandages that were covering his wound. Thorin could see the stiffness on her shoulders. He held her hand with his own, preventing her from carrying on the task she had set to herself.
"You don't have to do this. Go and fetch Óin."
"No, I can do this." She gave a gentle tap on his hand with her free one, trying to give him her most assertive look, until he nodded and released her from his grasp.
"You know, I've always been squeamish with injuries..." she said as she slowly carried on removing the bandage. "Which is funny because both my mother and sister were healers, but me… you can ask me to gut a rabbit any day, but this…" she stopped as she removed the last of the bandage.
She swallowed hard and held the breakfast that was trying to come up her throat at the sight of Thorin's new lump. She could see the black thread from the neat stitches that were holding his skin together. Most of it remained purple and blue, but thankfully there was no sign of pus. She wetted some of the bandages on the mixture of hot water and wine as she had been instructed, but Thorin once again got hold of her hand before she could touch his skin.
"Amrâlimê, you are shaking. Go. Get Óin."
She stood up and gently placed his leg on the chair she had been seating on.
"I… I don't want you to think that I'm disgusted by your leg, because that is not true. I…"
"I know. You are just squeamish. Go and get Oin."
She kissed him tenderly on his lips before she left to do his bidding.
The first snow of the season fell the same day of Kili's funeral. Each member of the company wept conspicuously while they paid their last respects to the deceased Durin's Prince. Tauriel had been the only elf allowed to take part in the proceedings.
Katniss had been familiar with grief since she could remember, but that wasn't enough to prevent the tightness she felt in her chest when they placed Kili's last remains underneath Erebor's walls.
She had to mourn the loss of her father when she was merely eleven. In the arena, Katniss had watched Rue dying in her arms, and then she felt guilty for failing to carry Mags. She'd witnessed the Capitol bombing a hospital full of injured children just because she had been there to shoot some war propaganda as the Mockingjay of the rebellion.
And yet, nothing had prepared her for this pain.
She remained a bit further away, sitting next to Thorin who remained unable to walk unaided. She held his hand throughout the whole procedure. He was pressing it down so hard, that she wouldn't be surprised if one of her fingers had been broken, but she didn't whisper a single complaint.
Gandalf and Bilbo left the mountain escorted by Thranduil and his people just after the funeral.
It was painfully hard saying goodbye to Bilbo. The little hobbit had quickly become her closest friend, and now she knew that it would be very difficult to see him again, as the lack of aircraft and trains made a casual trip to the Shire quite the journey that she wasn't sure if she and Thorin would be able to do anytime soon.
Still, she threw herself into his tiny hobbit arms, promising that she would write, and hoped to see him again sometime soon. Thorin said they would be establishing a commercial route with the Shire once things were stabilized in the mountain, and then they would try to visit him one day. Bilbo then reminded all the company members that tea was served promptly at four, and then told them not to bother knocking.
The following day, Thorin's leg was buried with the Arkenstone near where Kili rested.
They decided that it was for the best that Thorin himself didn't attend the ceremony, to prevent him from getting too near the stone. Fili and Dwalin stayed with him. Meanwhile, Katniss was required to go and perform all the necessary proceedings on his behalf. It felt awkward, to dress up in a long black dress, like a widow, and have the duty of grieving the loss of his leg on the site she knew was destined to be Thorin's and her's final resting place.
It was sad that he had lost his foot, but compared to all the other losses she had endured in her life, she was more glad that he had survived than sad about that particular loss. Katniss honestly didn't get much of the point of an entire ceremony for a mere limb. It felt excessive, and she was brought up hating any sort of waste. However, she bit her lip and tried to keep her thoughts to herself as she graciously followed the dwarrow traditions as if they were her own.
Soon after that, Thorin returned to some of his royal duties that had been honoured by Fili so far. With the aid of the men and dwarves that were inhabiting the mountain for the time being, Erebor was gradually becoming a hospitable place once more. Houses and rooms were being cleaned, broken things were being mended, and dead bodies were being given a final resting place.
The next month, ravens brought word from the Blue Mountains. Thorin's sister, Dis, informed them they were preparing a caravan to leave at the first sight of Spring. This made it more of a pressing issue to aid the men with the rebuilding of Dale, as they would need the houses they were now living in a few months.
Thorin and Katniss decided that they would wait to hold a proper wedding ceremony and coronation until his sister arrived. After all, the grief of losing Kili, added to the enormous amount of work that needed to be done in the mountain and at Dale, made it difficult for them to feel like celebrating.
One month and a fortnight later, Thorin was able to try on a peg leg on his stump for the first time. It was endearing watching him wobbling like a newborn fawn, as he tried to re-learn how to balance the weight of his body and slowly walked forward. Óin advised him not to strain his leg too much in the beginning, cautioning that it would take a while for his body to get used to this new leg.
But the progress was slow and Thorin, being the impatient prick he was, ended up falling down the stairs after he insisted on climbing down stairs unaided. The injuries he held from this stubbornness, left him bedbound for another two weeks, as he damaged his healthy leg in the process.
After this small hiccup in his recovery, Thorin was much more careful and receptive to Katniss's suggestions, such as fitting hand bannisters and even a few lifts in some parts of the mountain.
However, six months later that would prove to have been all unnecessary measures. Thorin had adapted so well to his new leg, that he even began to spar with Dwalin and Fili again. Even when he removed the fake leg at the end of the day, he was now much better at hopping around one-legged than he had ever been on those tough first days of having only one foot. Despite all this progress, he still felt phantom pains from time to time. And whilst he would have good weeks where people would often forget that he lacked one foot now, there were also days he would struggle to leave his bed due to the unbearable pain.
With the help of the woodland elves, the vegetation was shyly returning to the Erebor's surroundings. Fresh green grass was slowly beginning to cover the bottom of the outside of the mountain, alongside wildflowers, herbs, and some newborn stumps that had already been planted. They would hopefully become strong trees one day.
The rabbit population was now high enough that she occasionally would set some traps to get some fresh rabbit meat on their table. During one of her daily rounds on the outside of the mountain, Katniss could swear she saw a stag, but she didn't dare shoot it. Like everyone else, she was keen to see life return to their land. Besides, their kingdom pantry was well stocked with goodies from Mirkwood and some nearby farms.
A few weeks later, finally came the day when enough houses had been repaired in Dale that all menfolk had left the mountain. Closely after that, Thorin and Katniss were invited for the first time to a state visit to another kingdom since they reclaimed Erebor. They were guests at Bard's coronation, the new King of Dale.
Meanwhile, dwarrow folk from all the other kingdoms arrived, giving life to the mountain. Amongst them came a few nobles and bourgeoisie and the beginning of a court life began to slowly emerge. Katniss didn't even try to pretend she liked the attention given by all the dwarrowdams that wanted to either gain her favour or stab her back. She had never been fond of politics in her own time, and that didn't change now she held a position of power. She would stay away from it as much as she could, refusing to take part in some tasks that would have traditionally expected of someone of her standing.
Meanwhile, Thorin was mostly impatient for the arrival of the caravan coming from the Blue Mountains. Katniss knew he was both looking forward and fearing to meet his sister, as he feared that she would blame him for what had happened to her youngest son. Katniss didn't know Dis, but she knew she was leading their people despite her own grief. She figured that was a sign she was likely stronger than her own mother had been after her father died in that mine accident.
They both knew that the caravan from the Blue Mountains was likely to arrive at any time now. Thorin had received news from his sister from a messenger coming from Mirkwood, so they knew that they were on the last scratch of their journey. Luckily this time, King Thranduil who was now on better terms with Thorin and Erebor, gave them free passage and guides, instead of locking them up in his dungeons.
The imminent arrival of his people was the main reason why Thorin was so reluctant to allow Katniss to accompany a company of traders who were sent to deliver payment and collect a delivery of barley and yeast near what had once been Lake Town. He knew that by boat it wasn't a long journey. But like any dwarrow, he didn't like the idea of having his wife so far away from his sight.
"Katniss, how many times do I need to tell you that going off with merchants is not the job of a Queen?"
"You know, officially I'm yet to be crowned, so…"
Thorin sighed.
"Amrâlimê, what am I going to do with you? When I asked for volunteers to keep the merchants safe, I was referring to the soldiers in our ranks."
"I helped to reclaim the mountain. Didn't I help you to get rid of a dragon? I fought in the Battle of the Five Armies, did I not? Are you going to tell me that am I not a worthy soldier of Erebor?"
Thorin sighed again.
"Katniss, I know that you are worthier than many. This is the only reason why I would consider you going . I know you can hold yourself in battle. But you are precious to me. And that is why I don't like to watch you putting yourself out there unnecessarily. If I were to have my way on this, you know that I wouldn't even allow you to do your daily rounds around the mountain.
"You know that is a job that someone has to do" she said, shrugging her shoulders.
"This is a job that someone else should be doing. You should be here, in the mountain, with me, helping ensure that everything is ready to receive the Caravan that is due any time now. You are my wife, and you are their Queen. You should be here when they arrive."
"I did order some people to make some basic provisions. I am sure you can ask someone else to distribute them when your people arrive. You know that we need the barley and yeast I am going to retrieve, to help us to feed everyone who will be here soon."
"And there is nothing I can say or do that will make you change your mind about this?"
"No."
He frowned and sighed for the third time.
"Very well. Know this is the last time I will allow you to get involved in minor business such as these. Very soon you will be the crowned Queen of Erebor, and it won't be right for you to do anything less than a state visit."
Katniss opened her mouth to protest, but he silented her with a glare.
"We already went over this many times Amrâlimê. You are my wife. It is not my people's way to put our woman in dangerous situations. Please, stop arguing about it."
"I need to get out. I wasn't made to be stuck inside a mountain."
"If it pleases you, I can ask Balin to organize as many states visits as it is reasonable."
It was her time to sigh.
"Fine! But I will keep leading the daily rounds around the Mountain!" she said firercly before she left him alone and went to their quarters to pack for what she feared that it would be her last trip for quite sometime.