"I never had to think about my own moral compass before this, Aang.

I hate having to think about it.

Not that I considered myself a horrible person. I think, speaking in comparisons, I'm like…thousands of leagues below Azula. That girl is insane in the worst way.

And there are thousands of people that are bigger assholes than I am. Half the boys I knew back at school were just little shits. I'm sure it was the same for you growing up.

Err, maybe not. I forgot you were all raised by Monks.

So I'm just saying. I get it, I know I'm not always the most…moral one in the room. Or the kindest. I've been told I'm sort of an ass.

Trust me, I know it. Whatever the worst thing you can think about my behavior, someone has said it to me. I've heard it all.

And that just makes me want to be worse, you know? To lash back out. Because no one's perfect, not even you, I bet, so how dare they judge me like that?

People just don't get it – how growing up in the Northern Water Tribe was. My father taught me to not cry. Boys don't cry.

Boys are leaders. Women are followers.

Boys are the fighters. Women are the healers.

Boys are unemotional. Let the women have their emotions.

When you hear that all your life, and it's all you really hear, what chance did a kid ever have? My mother died trying to give birth to my sister, who also didn't survive. And yeah, I'm not dumb, I know that this probably is what caused it. My dad's hatred and dismissal of women.

It was easy to treat Yue like that back home because that's how all women were treated. I mean, spirits, her own father looks at her like she's a houseplant whenever she tries to talk about politics. A houseplant he loves very much, of course, but not something that needs to be talking about 'big ideas' like that.

If he knew her, he would know she sees so much more. And has some really deep thoughts.

Not that I care about her at all. I'm just telling you.

I just always saw him treating women lesser and never…

Dude, I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why you'd care.

I just...maybe sometimes, I think I want to be a better person.

I just don't know how.

And I don't know why I'm here talking to you."

XX

"A…party?" Mai echoed, "Excuse me, Katara, but doesn't that seem a bit insensitive, considering it all?"

"No, I don't think so," Katara said, placing her hands in her lap, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Mai. She glanced around, forcing a bright smile. "I think, seriously, it would be great. Brighten everyone's moods, boost morale," she said, "And I think it would be good to get our minds off everything. At least…" She coughed. "For a few moments."

The girls looked at one another with deep, careful consideration.

"Well," Ratana said after a long moment, "On Ji certainly could cook for everyone. Her tarts are legendary."

"Oh, you're too kind!" On Ji squeaked. "You know the best dance movies. You'd outshine everyone on the floor," she said, "And Cilla! You're the best at planning, by far."

"I mean, military, sure-"

"No, c'mon," Suki nudged her arm, "You're good at planning everything. All those little details are never forgotten when they're in your head."

"Oh, Besu, you have to make that drink out of that plant you made a few nights ago! That would be the bomb at the party!"

"Yue, you should decorate! Everything looks so expensive when you do it."

Katara let out a long sigh and a bright smile.

Somehow, her stupid plan had worked.

Mai had been right…a party in the middle of a war and a rebellion was a certifiably wacky idea, but Katara needed to bring some comforts back to the contestants, and give them something they knew well how to do…throw a party.

She stayed, helping the girls plan and temper some wild ideas (though she wished she could accommodate everything) and plan a date for the party. They agreed a month from now should be solid. They didn't have the resources that they once had, so it would take a bit more creativity than they were used to, so they needed more time to make sure it was perfect.

Katara felt like perhaps she was doing this job justice. In some ways, she knew it was only a bandage to the issues that plagued all of them, that assigning them something that seemed almost trivial was just a short distraction, but it would give her time to think in the meantime.

And everyone liked a good, achievable goal, right?

At the end of the session, while most of the girls floated away, chatting happily and swapping ideas, she made eye contact with Suki, Mai, and Cilla.

"What's up?" Suki asked, "Great idea, actually, for the party. I had my doubts, but I can't remember seeing everyone so excited. Heck; I don't know the last time I was so excited!" she admitted, bouncing on her feet a little.

"I have to hand it to you, Katara," Mai agreed with a hint of a smile.

"Hey, uhm, thanks. It's not about that. You three are the most…" She made a motion with her hands.

"Stable?" Cilla asked dryly.

"Adjusted to war," Katara said after a second, not wanting to think lesser of the girls that hadn't expected the Choice to end like this at all. "Ursa was talking to me the other night and she was reminding me how we're all tied to each other. And I think she's right…in some ways. But as much as maybe I don't want to admit it, a lot of the girls are here because of Zuko. Because they believe he's the best leader…romantic feelings remaining or not. I just…" Katara swallowed. "We're in this now. And I had a worry, and an idea…do you guys know where the other contestants are?"

"The other girls that were sent home?" Mai asked, frowning.

"I think that's a downfall of mine. I didn't really make ties with many people. I mean, I know where the Water Tribe girls are, but the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom ladies? I don't know where most of their hometowns are." Katara winced. "I was a crappy friend. I'm hoping you three were better."

"You think they may be in danger?" Suki asked, inhaling hard.

"Perhaps. Azula is…well, Azula. Who knows who she might want to go after? And even if they're not, maybe some would want to rise to the occasion like the girls here?" Katara motioned all around her, "And choose Zuko's side? This war is bringing out the best in all of us. I have to believe that, over the worst. Maybe some of them are far stronger than we could have imagined and could be an asset."

"It's not a terrible plan." Cilla rubbed her chin. "Wars are won with hundreds of people and we hardly have that many."

"I don't like the idea of using them as just bodies ready to send out in battles, though," Suki frowned.

"No! I mean, not like that. I think a lot has proven that skills other than fighting can be really valuable. And I think some of our past contestants may just have those knacks." Katara looked at the faces of the trio before her. "Just…try to think of a list, right?"

"I know a few," Mai said slowly, "But there's a letter embargo."

"I'll figure that out. I can talk to Iroh. Or Ursa. Just…let's be ready, right?" Katara asked.

"I think we can brainstorm between all of us. And the other girls might know too-"

"I don't want to involve them," Katara said quickly, "Let them worry about the party."

Cilla gave a sigh, uncertain, but nodded, "Okay."

"Hey, actually, Cilla, will you walk with me?"

"We're free to go?" Mai asked dryly.

"Yes. Thank you. Really," Katara said. She wasn't quite to the point of singing Mai's praises from the top of the mountain, but they were getting somewhere with each other. Where that path led, Katara wasn't sure, but it seemed hopeful.

"How can I help?" Cilla asked.

"Iroh thinks Ari should be let free. But I have reservations…as do others."

"Oh, I'm his babysitter?" Cilla realized though she didn't seem annoyed by it. If anything, she relaxed. She was the type that liked having a task, much like Katara.

"Yeah. He seems genuine, but I guess I just don't think anyone can be too careful. But I also don't know if we're the type to let him starve away in a cell. So." Katara plopped the key into her hands. "We decided you're a good judge of it all."

"You flatter me."

"Cilla, I think you're a strategic genius," Katara said openly, warmly, "And I think you get a good read on people. And I think that you sold yourself very short in the competition. Though, perhaps that's a good thing," she added with a beat of laughter, "Because otherwise…you might have really been trouble for me."

XX

"I hear this is where everyone comes, right? To just…be frustrated.

I'm really frustrated, Kuzon.

I feel like I'm always one step away from everything. Always second place. And trust me…second place can be great. But it's hard to never be first.

I think I really loved Zuko. Or still do. Feelings are difficult.

And I think I could have been a great Fire Lady. I could have made Kyoshi the strongest it's ever been with him. And I guess I can still do that, it's just more difficult.

And then Sokka came and I guess I had a crush on him too.

It's not like we flirted all the time, but maybe I was stupid to think there was something there. I guess lots of girls were fawning over him…Yue had a crush on him for weeks – she told me in confidence. Couldn't tell Katara, of course.

You get that.

And he chose Toph.

Now, don't get me wrong. I think Katara and Zuko are great. I think Toph and Sokka weirdly work. And I'm not angry and angsty or think I deserve either of them.

It just sucks to always feel one step behind maybe being the winner.

I know I'm the girl with the fans, the girl without the bending, the badass girl that is going to rock the world one day. But…spirits, this sounds so stupid. So stupid.

Arg; fine. Here it is.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but who are you going to tell?

But guess what, I'm not just a fighter. I'm a girl too. And I shouldn't bury one part of myself because others don't like it.

Okay, the truth;

I want a romance too.

I want to be someone's first choice.

Is that too much to ask?"

XX

Sokka saw a lot.

He knew who most people assumed he was; the 'meat and funny' guy. The one they could always rely on for a good laugh. The dude that would stop at nothing to get some juicy, tender proteins and it would always be so tasty.

Sokka was okay with this. These two modifiers were not untrue. He did hold his humor in high esteem. He liked meat more than anyone else he knew. Having people associate these traits with him was totally fine with Sokka.

It was, at least, until that was all they saw.

The truth was that sometimes Sokka felt as though his baby sister overshadowed him, just a bit.

She was the independent one, who'd stolen away on a ship after an explicit 'no'. She was the brave one, who faced the Fire Nation alone. She was the stubborn one, who wouldn't give up on Zuko. She was the one so many people fawned over, who saw her as some goddess.

This all made Sokka very proud. She was still his sister, and her success was, in a way, his success too. As in that, he knew he'd helped her grow up and be this person and he was glad she'd gone down a path that at the end of the day seemed to make her happy.

The point was, though, that Katara was so complex. People always talked about it. But, then they'd turn right around to and shoehorn Sokka into one of two boxes.

Jests or jerky?

Pick a box, Sokka. That's all you are.

But Sokka saw so much more. He noticed a lot of things. He knew that his strategizing was something he should be proud of. He knew if anyone asked Katara she'd agree on this; she might be great at some political skills, but organizing for battle or for any other occurrence wasn't her strong suit. He had to notice things to be good at this.

Sokka had to be aware of every movement, of every single person, to make the best outcome for any situation. He had to be acutely watching the moods, feelings, and expressions of anyone he was considering bringing into the fold of his plans because he had to be sure that the person that was going to carry the bomb was in good mental health or else they'd all end up dead...theoretically.

He knew that where it mattered, people saw.

He was, of course, in the Central Meeting Room where even Katara was not and he has been given jobs that weren't just busywork. He knew that General Iroh and Shen had noticed his acumen and had pulled him to make plans and present them, and keep going until they hit the right one.

But even for all that, Sokka sometimes felt like those members of the White Lotus just sometimes forgot. Forgot who he was when they were not in the meeting room and they were eating dinner, or something.

They forgot that Sokka was watching everything.

This is why he and Toph had bonded. They'd had such a connection, a shared experience of being aware of everything going on around them and no one acting like they did. Toph had spun hers into a good situation where she made she always had the upper hand. She used people's ability to underestimate her against them.

Sokka hadn't figured that out yet. He was still always looking for that sense of recognition. From his father before, and now from Iroh.

At night, as he and Toph drifted off, they'd swap what they'd seen. Between the two, Sokka pretty much felt as though they had all the secrets of the Air Temple down. They knew the gossip about everyone and they were storing it away until they needed it.

As Toph lay and stroked his hair, untied and hanging in his eyes, Sokka gave a hum of thought.

"Iroh doesn't like going near Ari."

"Yeah?" Toph asked.

"Ari's been here, what, five days? And he's had a lot of questions about everything from everyone, except Iroh. Zuko's only asked a few as well, but both of them just...they sorta get up and leave if he's around. And I don't think they know that they're doing it."

Toph screwed her eyes shut, thinking. It was a force of habit. Not that it cleared any distractions away, since sight wasn't something impending her, to begin with.

"No, they don't know," She said, thinking back to all the data she collected, sucked through her toes as she went about her day, "They probably wouldn't think twice about it. But you're right. They hate the guy for some reason."

Toph was a bit more subdued with him. Not that he was keeping her from her true self, but they had relaxed into a sort of pattern with one another where some of the theatrics during the day just weren't needed.

"I don't think it's hate. I think it's fear."

"Fear? The dude is like...thirteen."

"He's seventeen, Toph," Sokka snorted, "And it's not fear of him. It's fear of his knowledge."

"Huh. Okay, we'll go with that." Toph blinked.

"You see…" Sokka sat up on the front of his forearms, furrowing his brows, "Ari wasn't in the palace except for one day, the day before Azula's wedding, but he was still there. And then Ru sent him here right after he returned. But Ari still knows things. Things I don't think Iroh or Zuko really want to know. Or they really do, but they know it would kill them. He has so much power over them and he doesn't even realize...to describe the destruction of one's home…" Sokka trailed off, swallowing hard.

He winced, without meaning to. He shoved down his own worries about his family, but not quickly enough. And of course, because Toph was equally as perceptive as he was, she rubbed his cheeks, shaking her head, trying to console him.

"Hey, if your family is as thickheaded as you, we both know they'll be fine," Toph soothed. Though Katara's outburst had many people shaking their heads, Sokka understood it. He'd had to keep his feelings close to his chest, but dammit, he understood it.

He was terrified that there was nothing left of the Southern Water Tribe. His fear ate him up every day and he worried soon there would be nothing left of him. Or worse; he and his sister would be the only things left of the Southern Water Tribe. They'd have the responsibility to carry a legacy on just their shoulders, far too much for just two people. And somehow, he was sure they'd fail.

He wanted to stand on the mountain and scream. Scream because he knew they couldn't send any information out or in, and that he was stuck here while his entire culture was possibly being wiped off the face of the earth.

That's what it would feel like for Zuko or Iroh to know the details.

To have Ari describe what their family home looked like would crush both of them. They wouldn't recover. How could they?

The important questions had been answered. Anything else would just be knives twisting in their hearts.

"Yeah," Sokka sighed, "I know. Azula's probably more worried about us anyway."

"Mhm. Now get under the covers. Let's go to sleep." Toph said, lifting the blanket.

Sokka curled himself around her, their legs tangled and their bodies pressed together.

Toph was the sort that, though she'd never admit it, loved to cuddle. And on some level she needed it.

She couldn't just look over while they were working and share a soft glance with him, or a laugh, or a giggle. That wasn't in the cards. So she took what she had, and that was touch.

Yeah, he knew that people here thought they were being overly PDA with their affection, but if they thought about it, it wasn't like that. They weren't having sex in the main courtyard, for Tui's sake! They were just holding hands whenever they were together as if to tell one another that they weren't going anywhere.

He heard Toph drift off to sleep fast, but his brain was still awake.

He'd been rolling Ari's information about the honeymoon in his head for days. Whenever he had a quiet moment in his brain, he just played with it, like it was a piece of snow that he was shaping and shaping and shaping again, until he got it perfect.

Or in his case, until he understood it.

Everyone had been so bewildered by it and no one had been able to give even any weak interpretations. Sokka hadn't said anything, because he wanted to be sure, but somewhere he felt like he might...might have stumbled across something before.

Seen something in his moments where the world was forgetting about him until they needed a moment of comic relief.

Just as he was drifting off into a much-needed slumber, he saw it.

He saw flashes across his mind.

"That's it!" he said, flopping on the floor. He took the covers with him and Toph right after that.

The crash woke everyone else too, but Sokka scrambled up without pause.

"General Iroh!" he whisper-yelled, opening Iroh's small room, but found it empty.

"What do you need my uncle for at this time of night?" Zuko yawned behind him, his hair all askew.

"I got it! I got it!" Sokka said, but couldn't spare another second. He peeked through all the windows, a group of confused teens trailing behind him. He'd found Ari too, just in case his revelation sparked some forgotten information in him. He looked until he found Iroh in the Meeting Room. He was lighting an effigy for Lu Ten.

"Ah, please come in. It's Lu Ten's birthday today, so I thought I would light a remembrance for him." Iroh said softly.

"Remembrance? Lu Ten is-"

"I got it!" Sokka cut Ari off, without even realizing it, hearing nothing but everyone else as white noise, "General, I know where Azula is going!"

The entire room came to a hushed silence.

"While I was in the palace, I read a lot. Like a ton. I mean, you guys had a sick library and I had a lot of free time on my hands. And there was this book that Zhao had in his room for basically forever, and it had some really awesome information on old battleships and I was dying to read it, so after he died I...I took it."

"Sokka!" Katara hissed.

"He was dead! He wasn't going to use it! And I was on bed rest and super bored." Sokka stood by his decision, especially now. "And there was some super cool information. But in there as well was some information on an ancient library. A 'mythical' one out in the middle of the desert, guarded by an owl. But from some of the papers in there, Zhao didn't seem to think it was mythical at all. He had plans to find it, well, until he died. Lots of scribbles and plans. Obsessive; almost. Have you heard of it, General?"

Iroh's face was long, "No, I can't say I have. Perhaps one of the other Lotus will know. But it seems like this book was well guarded by Zhao, so I'd be surprised if anyone else, besides you, got a chance to look through it."

"What does she want at a library? What's there?" Zuko asked.

"I don't know. And I mean that as in...this library is legendary. It could be anything. It could have the answers to life, death, war, peace...the sort of library that was described - if that's where Azula is going - we should be prepared for anything. I got the feeling it defied time and space, this library. It's not of this world."

"Spirit World?" Katara said, her face pale. Sokka knew why. She still hadn't made a decision about that water and heck, right now it would be really nice to have the Avatar - who also had thousands of years of wisdom inside his arrowed little head - to confirm this guess with.

Everyone worth being in that meeting was woken up at once. With tired expressions and baggy eyes, Aiga helped Iroh pass out tea. Ari sat between Sokka and Zuko, looking small and nervous amongst a group of such celebrated people.

"Sokka believes he had a breakthrough, but I will admit it is nothing that I know of. There are many great wonders in this world that I have yet to read about, and this one perhaps is no exception. I wonder how I missed the library book all those-"

"Iroh, if we could perhaps get to the idea before we all die of old age?" Bumi asked, hitting his chest as he coughed.

Iroh motioned to Sokka, giving him the floor.

"I don't know the name of it. I don't remember. But I read about a library, in the middle of the desert, watched over by an owl. And not just any old owl, but like," Sokka waved his fingers, "A...mythical, spiritual one. Am I the only one who read about this?" he asked, looking around.

"Hmm," Jeong-Jeong shook his head, "Nothing ringing a bell here."

Sokka felt his stomach drop. They'd be back at square one.

"Wait…" Bumi raised a gnarled finger, "I know that myth. It was told as a bedtime story, of course, but so many myths come from reality, do they not?" He shook his head. "I have not thought of that children's fable in years."

"So perhaps we do have something," Zuko glanced at Sokka, tilting his head.

"Well, get on with it," Ursa sighed, "You bully my brother-in-law for taking too much time, but look at you, lost in old thoughts."

"Ah, just trying to recall the details. Yes, hm. My mother described to me the story of a 'mythical' library that went on forever. She said that anything I wanted to find there, I would find, for it was curated by spirits. Spirits who were wise. And at the helm of it was an owl, who saw everything that went into the library. We used to play a game where I'd ask her if a topic was in there, and no matter how wild it was, my mother would always answer yes. A library not of this world where the answers to every question lay. It seemed untrue. How could it be?"

"But Zhao seemed to think it was real. He'd made detailed plans to find it. Oh, I wish I'd kept those notes now, arg!" Sokka slapped his forehead, angry at himself. He'd realized they were in Zhao's handwriting but had been so interested in those ships that it hadn't crossed his mind that perhaps he should save them. As Bumi said, it had seemed…impossible.

"Well, we didn't know we'd be fleeing the palace," Katara piped up with a hint of humor.

"No one blames you for not remembering all the details, Sokka. It is enough that you recalled this at all." Iroh was scratching his face. "I am inclined to believe it. I think it would be extremely difficult to find and require an entrance fee of some sort - perhaps a blood gift - but as mad as Azula is, she would not go searching for something that truly wasn't there."

"So what are we waiting for?" Zuko clambered to his feet, "We gotta go, now!"

"We don't even know what desert she's talking about," Iroh shook his head.

"Does that matter? So we're just going to...to...sit here, and do nothing?" Zuko threw his hands out.

From the way the White Lotus sat, it seemed that was exactly the idea.

"I agree with Zuko," Katara crossed her arms, "Isn't this what we're waiting for? It sounds like Azula went alone with Chan; she doesn't want anyone to know what she's doing just yet. She'd be the most vulnerable right now."

"We cannot be sure of so many things," Iroh reminded them both, looking at them with a strange expression of pity that Sokka was grateful wasn't pointed at him. "We have no idea how much of a head-start Azula has. She could already be back from her trip. Going from the Fire Nation to here is no short trip, and if Ari took any extra time, Azula has had quite a long time to plan. And there is the matter of the entrance fee. We might not have what the spirits require, and spirits are picky. If you waste their time…" Iroh sucked in hard, "Being unprepared could be quite treacherous for us."

"And there is a matter we have not considered either…" Ursa furrowed her brow.

"Azula is a master manipulator," Toph finished, narrowing her eyes. "I know! That girl can lie. I mean, in anyone else, I'd be impressed but-"

"Yes, she might be five steps ahead of us," Ursa agreed, "And was feeding that lie to anyone that she thought might overhear. For all we know, she could be simply relaxing on the beach. Azula always lies. That's what I've heard you say, true?" She turned to Zuko, a pinched look on her face.

Zuko's face was pulled taught. "Yes! No! Arg!" He stood, kicking a tin. "You really believe that Azula is going to actually have a peaceful honeymoon? That she isn't going to...are we really that fucking naive?"

"Language, Zuko," Ursa threatened.

"I'm not sorry," Zuko growled, "I see what the point of this rebellion is now. And Ru risked everything to send Ari to tell us; he thought it was important! And Ari risked his life. Are we going to laugh in his face, tell him that what he risked didn't matter? Is this what we're trying to do now?"

"We're trying to survive," Ty Lee said, her voice quivering, "To stay alive. Not everyone dreams of war and bloodshed," she said darkly.

Sokka watched how Zuko's whole body drew back, as though she'd burned him. He watched how Katara's expression swiveled, how she swallowed hard.

"That's not...I'm not…"

"I'm sure that's not what he wishes for," Ursa said quickly. Perhaps the idea of both of her children taking after Ozai terrified her. Even if...as he watched the light flash in Zuko's eyes, so similar to Azula...even if it was true.

"We just don't have enough intel," Iroh sighed, "We can't launch an entire mission on a few words and a bedtime story." He said, and everyone around the circle nodded sagely, "Only the spirits know-"

Before he could finish what he was saying, Katara stood abruptly, her face white as she walked slowly from the meeting room. Everyone looked at each other, confused.

"I think…" Toph said slowly, "I think...she's about to decide about the water."

"Well," Bumi huffed, "No offense to her, but it's about time."

Ayo everyone!

We will be updating every other week on Thursday but since I was gone for so long, I decided to update NEXT Thursday to get the ball rolling for us. So you get an update this week, one next week, and then after that will be every other week (hopefully). All this Netflix ATLA news has brought my muse back and I'm SUPER excited to watch it this weekend!

I'll write more next week in the notes, but see you all soon!