The next morning Hermione sits out on the patio, reflecting on the events of the evening before. There is a sense of relief that comes with finally acting on the attraction that has been present between them since they met, but she's still a little worried. She couldn't have chosen a more unsuitable person to develop feelings for if she tried.
The age gap doesn't bother her. Narcissa is a very beautiful woman, and it wouldn't matter to Hermione if she wasn't. True beauty is much deeper than the skin and Hermione always looks beneath that, delving into the core of who someone really is on the inside. So, age doesn't come into her decision to pursue the older woman at all.
It's complicated though, and so is her relationship with Narcissa's son. If this all blows up then she could possibly lose him if he decides to take sides. She doesn't think he will and it's not like she would ever knowingly do something to hurt his mum, but the thought of losing his friendship leaves her cold and is weighing heavily on her mind this morning.
Their history doesn't need to be anything but that; their history. It's in the past and Hermione wants it to stay there, but is that really fair on Narcissa? How will she feel if she finds out who Hermione really is? Will she be upset and think that Hermione has deceived her? Or will she understand that she is trying to protect a woman who already carries around a lot of guilt?
There are many reasons why this might not work between them, but Hermione wants it to. She's never felt as drawn to another person the way that she is drawn to Narcissa and she hopes that the other woman doesn't wake up and regret what happened between them last night.
Shaking her head, she makes a decision not to talk herself out of anything before it's even really started, and to stop seeing problems where there might not even be one. She's attracted to Narcissa, but more than that she is developing real feelings for the woman. To give her up now before they have even tried is just not an option, unless Narcissa decides she isn't interested.
"Good morning, Hermione," Narcissa greets her from behind, her almost silent footsteps unnoticed by the brunette. A combination of running, yoga and pilates have left her noticeably lighter on her feet, even with the extra pounds of muscle and weight she has gained in the last few weeks.
"Cissa, hi! Did you sleep well?"
Narcissa leans down and kisses her cheek, before settling in the seat next to hers, a cup of coffee already cradled in her hands. "I slept like a log. Thank you, darling."
"Me too." Hermione looks up at Narcissa, desperate to test the waters. "I had the best dreams," she confides with a smirk, delighting as colour rushes to the woman's pale face.
"Really? And would you care to share them with me?"
Hermione nearly chokes on her coffee, not expecting that response at all. "I don't think that would be taking it slowly," she admits with a wry grin.
Narcissa leans back in her seat, giving Hermione the delicious view of small breasts pressed against her t-shirt, nipples raised into soft peaks. "That's a shame. If you'd told me yours, I would have told you mine and you would have been in for quite the treat."
Hermione stares at her in shock. "Really?"
The woman smirks, smugness radiating from her in a way that shouldn't be as alluring as it is. "I guess you'll never know now."
"You don't play fair," Hermione whines, finishing off her coffee.
"You'll get used to it, I suppose," Narcissa replies thoughtfully. "That is, if you still want to?"
"Yes. Of course I do," Hermione is quick to reassure, reaching out and taking the blonde's hand. "I was just sitting here worrying about the same thing. I was scared you might regret what happened last night?"
"I won't deny that I'm nervous about this, but I want to see where it goes," Narcissa confides. "I need to take it slowly, but if you're okay with that, then yes. I want to give this thing between us a try."
"Not the most romantic speech I've ever heard," Hermione teases. "But I'll take it."
-xXx-
The day has been long, but a good one. Narcissa follows Hermione home on her motorbike, both of them taking it slowly through the lanes that lead from town to the cottage, chatting idly using the speakers in their helmets. She's still finding her confidence on the roads after practising in the fields, but she finds that she is adjusting quickly, though very grateful for the occasional guidance from Hermione.
Hermione is an experienced rider. She knows the roads far better than she does and tells her if there is a particularly steep corner coming up so she knows in advance how much to drop her speed. She's learning though, and the route is becoming more familiar to her every day.
They pull up outside the cottage and Narcissa swings her leg over the seat to dismount, grinning to herself when she realises it feels as if she has done this a million times before. Finding Hermione's appreciative gaze on her, her whole body heats up and, not for the first time, she wonders at how someone can have such an effect on her without a single touch. She's looking forward to the day she feels ready to take the next step and become her lover, even if the idea still terrifies her slightly.
"What do you want for dinner?" Hermione asks, unlocking the door and holding it open for her to pass through.
"Nothing too heavy. Draco stopped by earlier as I was about to take my lunch and brought me a huge stuffed baguette."
Hermione laughs. "He loves those. There is a sandwich shop by his office that he buys them from. I don't know how he is still so slim with the number he eats, especially since he hates exercise in all forms."
"I asked him to come to a yoga class with me and he said he would rather sniff one of Scorpius' nappies," Narcissa proclaims with disgust.
"If you ever get him to a class I will give you a bonus," Hermione tells her. "I've been asking him for months."
"He's always hated exercise. The only thing he ever liked was football, but unfortunately he wasn't very good," Narcissa reveals with a smirk.
"Ooh, I can't wait to tease him!"
"I can show you photos, if you like? He did look so cute in his football kit. It took him years to grow into his feet, so he looked quite like a clown with his red footie boots on."
"I would love to see that sometime," Hermione gushes, and Narcissa just knows that the thought of getting one up on Draco is very appealing to her, considering Hermione will never share her own childhood photos with either of them.
"I'm going to go upstairs and shower, but I'll bring the album down with me afterwards," Narcissa promises.
"I'll join you," Hermione replies, already walking toward the stairs.
"Ms Granger! That's a little forward, isn't it?" Narcissa asks, trying not to smile.
"No, Cissa. That's not what I… Oh my god, you're teasing me, aren't you?" Hermione accuses, eyes narrowing at the blonde.
"You make it so easy, darling," Narcissa replies, patting her on the cheek as she walks by.
Narcissa knows she is putting on a display, swaying her hips far more than is needed as she walks up the stairs. She knows the effect that she has on the younger woman and enjoys it far more than she thought. When she hears Hermione trip on the first step, she can't help but giggle as the woman grumbles and takes off after her.
-xXx-
Half an hour later, Narcissa makes her way back down to the ground floor again, watching from the bottom of the stairs as Hermione dances to the music playing from the small speaker in the kitchen. She valiantly tries to hold back her laughter as the woman holds up the spatula and mimes the words to the song, head thrown back dramatically.
Hermione spins around in time to the music and then freezes, her eyes wide when she spots Narcissa grinning.
"You're laughing at me," she laments, a pout forming on her lips.
Narcissa crosses the room purposefully, cups her cheek and kisses her soundly, delighting in the way brown eyes come to life and sparkle.
"You're adorable," she tells the younger woman, leaning back in for another kiss. Hermione responds in a way that catches her off guard, pressing her up against the island in the kitchen and deepening the kiss. Narcissa melts against her, letting Hermione take the lead as she pulls her closer, flush against her body.
Hermione releases her with a giggle. "Sorry, I've been wanting to do that all day."
"I'm not adverse to your affection," Narcissa reminds her, admitting, "And I started it, anyway."
"Shit!"
Narcissa watches confused as the woman darts away from her, and then rolls her eyes as she pulls a slightly smoking pan from the hob.
"I burned the pine nuts I was toasting," Hermione says sheepishly. "You distracted me, you she-devil."
"All these sweet names you call me. Is this something that I will need to get used to?"
"I may throw in the occasional 'evil witch'," Hermione says seriously, but her eyes are laughing.
"Your powers of seduction are unrivalled," Narcissa states dryly, unable to stop the grin that is rapidly spreading.
Hermione walks over and stands in front of her as Narcissa swallows nervously. What is she doing? The brunette raises a hand to the bare skin of Narcissa's shoulder, and lightly traces her collarbone from one side to the other, smirking slightly when Narcissa shudders.
Leaning forward, Hermione follows the same path with her lips, kissing softly and flicking gently with a surprisingly hot tongue, until Narcissa is trembling in front of her. Finally, when Narcissa thinks her legs are about to give out on her, Hermione kisses her. It's slow and sensual, and one hundred percent the most erotic kiss that Narcissa has ever experienced, and she clings to her desperately as she finally understands what it means to be weak in the knees for someone.
When Hermione pulls back they are both breathless and flushed.
"What were you saying about my powers of seduction?" Hermione asks cheekily.
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Narcissa groans, shaking her head.
"That's what I thought," Hermione replies, eyes dancing.
Narcissa smiles then. The cockiness that Hermione is displaying should not be attractive, but it is. The woman undoubtedly has skills and knows it. Narcissa furrows her brow. What if she isn't good enough for her much younger lover? What if she can't make her feel the same way?
What if, no matter how hard she tries, she can't bring the other woman to climax?
Will Hermione still want her? Worst of all, what if it's too difficult to even get to that point? Narcissa knows she is probably being irrational, but the thought of having sex with anyone is just too much right now. She's forgotten how to be intimate with someone and it's never been an experience she's particularly taken any pleasure from. What if she can't relax and enjoy it? What if she's not capable of being with someone in this way? It's been a long time.
She turns away from the brunette and walks over to the fridge to get a glass of water, snagging a glass from the cupboard on the way. There are too many 'what if' questions floating around her mind and it's difficult not to wonder if this is really a good idea.
"Hey, where'd you go?"
Narcissa reluctantly turns around. As awkward as this is for her, Hermione deserves complete honesty from her.
"This is all very new to me."
"I know," Hermione reassures her, smiling gently.
"I don't know how to be physical with you. I don't know how to be comfortable having sex after so long. It was never a pleasant experience for me and I'm worried that I won't be able to satisfy you. I'm worried that I won't be enough for you."
Hermione takes her hand, leading her over to the sofa and sitting down next to her. She reaches out and moves the curtain of hair that Narcissa is hiding behind.
"There you are," Hermione coos quietly, tucking the hair behind her ear in a tender gesture. "I told you yesterday, there is no pressure, okay? We'll take this at your pace."
"It's not that easy," Narcissa replies, her shoulders sagging.
"It can be," Hermione counters, still smiling. "What is it that scares you the most?"
Hermione waits, giving Narcissa some well needed and much appreciated breathing space to think about her question. She stares at the opposite wall, losing herself in the colourful patterns of the abstract art Hermione has hanging there. Narcissa could see 'H.G' signed in the bottom corner when she was standing next to it the other day, and she has a burning desire to ask Hermione if her suspicions are correct. That Hermione is indeed the artist.
But, as tempting as it is to blow off this conversation, she needs to be honest. Hermione deserves that from her at the very least.
"I think I just don't know how to be with someone in that way," she eventually confides awkwardly.
"Cissa, there is so much more to intimacy than sex. Non-sexual intimacy in a relationship is just as important, if not more so. What if we work on that side of things instead. I'm pretty sure everything else will follow organically."
Narcissa draws her brows together. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."
"Well, there are lots of ways we can be intimate without sex being a part of it. Yesterday when we watched the film, how did you feel about the way we were sitting? When you put your head on my shoulder, I put my arm around you. Did that feel nice? Because if it didn't, then please tell me. I'd always rather know how you are truly feeling."
"It felt nice. Really nice, actually," Narcissa admits with a soft smile. "I never thought I would be one to enjoy cuddling, but perhaps I don't know myself as well as I thought I did?"
"I think… I think that you are at the beginning of a journey, and there are an infinite number of things that you will learn about yourself on the way. You've been through a horrendous ordeal, both in your marriage, but also spending ten years in prison."
"Why do I have the feeling most of these revelations will involve you in some way?" Narcissa asks, raising a brow.
Hermione grins. "Stick with me, kid. I'll show you the stars."
Narcissa smiles back, glad for a little levity. "Is that a euphemism?"
"Not necessarily. Not everything is about sex," Hermione replies sincerely. "Not for me, anyway. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, but there are lots of other things that I enjoy equally in a relationship."
"Like what?"
"Well, when you're more comfortable, it might be nice to share a bed one night. I'm not talking about sex, just maybe, you know… Cuddling," Hermione shyly suggests.
"Ms Granger, are you secretly a little cuddle bug?"
Hermione looks away, biting her lip. "Not normally, but it's different with you. I can't think of anything else but holding you in my arms as we sleep," she confesses with a sigh.
It's ridiculously adorable to see this vulnerable and sweet side of Hermione, but Narcissa refuses to leave her hanging, the truth dripping off her tongue before she can censor it.
"I think I might like that very much, darling."
Hermione breathes out slowly, a smile curling up her lips. "Okay, good. Just let me know when you're ready to take that step."
Nodding, Narcissa asks, "What other intimate things did you have in mind?"
Hermione sits forward excitedly. "A full body massage! You can use a towel if you want to keep parts of you covered, but I would love the chance to really work on you. I could make you feel so good, Cissa."
"I'm sure you could, and that sounds nice, actually. Could I also return the favour? I don't have any training but I'm sure I can muddle my way around."
"That sounds amazing," Hermione agrees, and then shrugs. "You can touch me whenever you like."
Narcissa's brain short circuits at the suggestion, though she's almost sure Hermione didn't mean for it to sound quite so… suggestive. It's an intriguing idea though, and one that fills Narcissa with a little bubble of excitement.
"I can really touch you? Even if I'm not ready for you to touch me?"
"Yes. This is not quid pro quo, Cissa. I understand that you're not ready and that's perfectly okay, but I have no boundaries with you. If you want to do something, then do it. I'm not going to mind."
Narcissa grins. "You might regret that."
Hermione shakes her head, grinning right back. "Not possible."
-xXx-
Narcissa smiles at the woman walking by her side, talking excitedly about a new treatment they will soon be offering. It's been an amazing few days and she's shocked to find that the idea of being intimate with Hermione is not as daunting as it once was. Hermione is gentle and patient with her, and casually touches her in ways that Narcissa had no idea she would enjoy.
The younger woman will do things like pull her into her lap, and kiss her, or pick her up and spin her around when she's excited or happy. Most of all she has begun to look forward to the sly way that Hermione manoeuvres them so that they are laying in each other's arms on the sofa. There is nothing that she enjoys more than cuddling with the woman, no matter how strange she might have once assumed it would feel.
"Cissa? Did I lose you?" Hermione asks, concerned eyes scrutinising her face.
"Sorry, darling. I was lost in thought."
"Want to talk about it?"
Does she? There isn't really all that much to say, but Hermione deserves to know.
"I'm happy," Narcissa says plainly. "I can't quite believe it, but I am. I'm happier now than I've ever been and it's all because of you."
"It goes both ways, you know," Hermione replies seriously, sincerity burning in her amber eyes. "I've never felt as happy as I have lately either, and that's all because of you."
"But you've had other relationships..." Narcissa trails off, realising how intrusive she sounds.
Hermione shrugs. "Yes, but it was different. I think maybe back then it was the wrong time for me to be having a relationship at all. I had so much within myself that I really needed to work on. I had things I had to move past and resolve before I could really be the person that someone else needed me to be. I always knew there was going to be an expiration date on my previous relationships, you know?"
Narcissa is shocked into silence. If she is interpreting Hermione's words correctly, then she's saying that this is the first relationship she has been in where she anticipates a future. She wonders for a moment if that should worry her, but the thought drifts through her mind like smoke and she is unable to really grasp the concept. Narcissa already knows that she would happily spend the rest of her life with Hermione.
"I feel the same way, darling," she hastily replies when she realises she has taken too long to answer and Hermione's face is falling.
The smile that the brunette gives her then is enough to light up every home on the planet and power it for days. Shyly, Narcissa takes her hand and they walk along the street with their fingers intertwined, enjoying the fact that neither of them have anywhere to be. Meliora isn't open on Sundays and so they are heading to The Hogs Head Inn for lunch. The bar hasn't had the best reputation for a long time, but new owners have taken it over and brought in a whole new menu as well as new staff.
"Hermione? Hermione! Oh my god, is that you?" a voice calls, as a young woman wearing a gorgeous purple and gold sari skips towards them. "Hermione Wilkins, what on earth are you doing back in town? It's been years!"
Wilkins? Wilkins. The pieces of information start slowly falling into place, and Narcissa feels cold enveloping her, blocking out the warmth of the sun that is shining down on them so brightly.
"It's Granger," Hermione corrects her quietly, her face ashen as she glances at Narcissa.
"Oh, are you married?" the newcomer asks, reaching for Hermione's left hand.
"I'm sorry, it's really good to see you, Padma, but we're running late," Hermione dismisses the woman, not answering her question, but Narcissa notes that she doesn't deny that the name was once hers.
If Hermione is Hermione Wilkins and not Granger, the name that she uses now, then she is also the young woman whose parents Lucius and Tom murdered. The tiny scrap of an eighteen year old hiding behind the sofa, with wide eyes that pleaded with Narcissa not to give away her safe place. She's also the person that Bellatrix dragged in semi-conscious one night and then held for four days in Narcissa's cellar. Hermione was tortured and then delivered back to her parents as a warning. A warning they ignored and that ultimately led to their deaths three weeks later.
Oh god. Narcissa starts to feel a little, and then a lot sick. If Hermione finds out that Narcissa was involved in her parents murder, then she will hate her. She can't take the risk of getting in any deeper with the woman that she's almost sure she is falling in love with. Holding back the tears that are threatening to violently burst free, she drops Hermione's hand. Her whole body starts shaking, and it's difficult to breathe, let alone talk, as she attempts to make her excuses and leave.
"I'm sorry… I'm… I'm not feeling well. I have to… go. I have to… Goodbye."
Not waiting for an answer, she turns on her heel and walks away as briskly as possible, determined to not look back. Narcissa reaches into her purse and pulls out her phone, calling the only number that she knows she can.
"Draco? I need you, darling."