"I don't…" Brittany wasn't really sure what she was supposed to say to Santana's confession, but the pained look on Santana's face and tears now steadily falling from her eyes had Brittany feeling like whatever she did say was very important. So rather than expressing her complete confusion, she cupped Santana's cheek, gently wiping away her tears. "Why are you crying baby?"
"I'm sorry." Santana choked out, confusing Brittany even more. "I'm really sorry Brittany I..I wanted to, I really wish I wanted…" She cried harder, and though Brittany was alarmed, she was also aware that they were still standing in the middle of the dancefloor, surrounded by all her friends and family, their kids were somewhere around here and the last thing they needed was Santana falling apart like this in front of them.
Brittany looked around for a more private place for them to talk, but there were people everywhere she looked. "Hold on." She said quietly, taking Santana's hand. She led them back into the hotel, walking purposefully even though she had no idea were she was going. As she walked she could hear Santana's sniffling. It made her want to stop, turn around and just hold her, but they really needed privacy. Something was obviously wrong, and Brittany didn't want anyone interrupting them.
Finally, they got to a door which if Brittany had to guess led to the hotel rooms. She glanced around, but there was no one anywhere near them. This would have to do. She pulled Santana into the corridor and shut the door.
"Santana." She said, turning to face her. "I don't…will you look at me please?" She ducked her head, hoping to catch Santana's eyes. Santana, who was staring at the floor, took a few seconds to wipe her eyes, taking in deep breaths to compose herself, and then looked up at Brittany. Her eyes were already turning red. "I don't understand what's wrong."
Santana sniffed, tossing her hair behind her shoulder.
"I've thought about it a lot." Santana said, her voice still thick with tears. "And obviously it wouldn't be like…the worst thing to happen. I mean our kids are amazing, and I know if we had another one then they'll be amazing too, and we'll feel like we can't even imagine life without them….I know that." Santana nodded earnestly. Brittany couldn't understand why Santana was looking at her like she was pleading for her to understand. There was a desperate look in her eyes that was worrying Brittany.
"Okay?" She said, wanting Santana to say more, maybe say something that would make all of this make sense.
"But…" Santana said, pausing to take in a deep, staggering breath. "I just don't want to go through it all again Britt. I don't." She looked down, like she was ashamed. "I love our kids, and I have loved spending the last few years with them. If I could go back I would absolutely do it again, I don't regret it. But I just went back to work. I just started getting back into the groove of things, and actually loving what I do. I'm finally getting to create again, and be surrounded by music all day. It's been stressful but I love it, and if we have a baby I can't do that. I'll have to take time off again and we won't be sleeping so we'll be tired and then we'll have to manage Mateo who'll probably act out since he won't be the baby anymore, and we don't have the kind of support that we had before you know?"
"I know." Brittany whispered, nodding.
Santana shook her head, sighing. "I know you wanted this but every time I think about it I get so much anxiety." She pressed her hands to her stomach, closing her eyes. To Brittany, Santana looked like she was in physical pain, and it was paining her to watch. "And I can't help thinking about everything that will have to change and give up and…I never thought about with our other kids. I mean a little with Niki, I thought about how out lives were about to change but I was excited. Now it…I'm scared I'll resent the baby or my life or you...and I don't want that. I feel that makes me a horrible person." Tears returned to Santana's eyes.
Brittany nodded again, taking Santana's hands from her stomach and pressing them against her own body. "Santana it's okay."
"I'm sorry." Santana cried, dropping her head onto Brittany's shoulder.
"It's okay." Brittany hushed, wrapping her arms around Santana and hugging her tight. "It's okay. It's okay."
But as she gently rubbed Santana's back, her brain processed Santana's words. She looked up, eyes narrowed as she thought, her hand moving slower and slower until it finally stopped.
"When did I say that?" She mumbled.
"Huh?" Santana asked.
Brittany pulled Santana back, holding her at arms length.
"When did I say I wanted a baby?"
Santana wiped her eyes, her expression changing to look just slightly guilty.
"Did I say that?"
Brittany couldn't remember saying anything about wanting another kid, and she was pretty sure, given the fact that she in fact didn't want another kid, that if she had said something like that, she would remember.
"No I just, I know you."
Brittany frowned, pulling back even further.
"What?"
"You got this look." Santana said. "I know you Brittany, and you got this look after Mike said Lizzy wanted another kid, and then with Quinn's news, and then Mercedes, it was all the same look."
"A look?" Brittany chuckled.
"And then you kept talking about it, and bringing babies up all the time, and trying to convince Mateo that being a big brother is fun."
"Oh my god." Brittany gasped, her eyes widening. "Is that why you freaked out after Mercedes told us she was pregnant?"
Santana nodded.
"Babe." Brittany sighed, reaching for Santana's hands again. "Why didn't you talk to me?"
"Wanting a baby is a pretty big deal." Santana said. "I couldn't just tell you I didn't want one."
"Of course you could."
"No." Santana shook her head. "I never want to deny your dreams. I'm supposed to be the one to make all your dreams come true. And a baby…Britt…" she cocked her head. "Do you remember what happened when I tried to tell you we couldn't adopt the twins?"
"Yeah." Brittany nodded. "Okay fair enough."
"I wanted to think about it. Really think about it before I decide it's not what I want. I wanted to want what you want. I always have."
"Yeah." Brittany smiled, pulling Santana closer to her. "And you still do?"
Santana frowned. "I do?"
"Yeah. Santana I don't want a baby. I've never wanted to be pregnant, and if I had suddenly changed my mind, watching Quinn and Mercedes go through it all would definitely change my mind right back."
Santana cracked a smile, the pain and sadness in her eyes lifting slightly.
"You don't want a baby?"
"No." Brittany chuckled. "I mean okay, if I'm being honest the thought did cross my mind when we were talking to Mike. I wondered what our baby would look like, what they'd be like."
"So I was right about the look." Santana said quickly, pulling her hand free to point at Brittany.
"I guess." Brittany giggled. "I didn't know I was giving you a look. I was kinda just looking at your features, imagining how they'd mix with mine."
"But you don't want to actually….see?"
"Buuuut" Brittany squeezed the hand she was still holding. "I like our life now." She shrugged. "I don't want to change it."
Santana raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Even with all of our friends having babies? And how sweet and cuddly they are, and the way they smell?"
Brittany smiled, slowly shaking her head.
"I'm happy for our friends." She said honestly. "This is exciting for them. I mean, Mercedes gets to see what it's like to have more than one kid, Quinn gets to redo motherhood like she's always wanted, Kurt and Blaine get to experience parenthood for the first time….it's exciting." She squeezed Santana's hand again. "But we've been there already. You and me, we've done it all babe."
Santana nodded, swallowing thickly.
"And you don't want to do it again?"
"It's a bit nostalgic, but like I said, I like our life now. I like that our kids are older, and we don't need to change diapers and we can actually talk to them. I mean they do stuff like make us breakfast and surprise us with Valentine's day dinners, and neither of us need to be a part of it or help them or remind them. I like that."
"Yeah."
"We're in a different place than all of our friends, we always have been, and I don't want to go backwards. Babies are cute, but I'm excited about moving forward. Besides who wants to have a three year old and three teenagers?"
"Oh my god." Santana laughed, the last of her sadness draining away. "I didn't even think about that."
"That would be a nightmare." Brittany said, joining her laughter.
"Yeah." Santana said, as she wiped away the remnants of her tears from her cheek. "So…" she looked deep into Brittany's eyes. Brittany stared back. "So I'm not crushing your dreams."
Brittany smiled delicately, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck and pulling her into a kiss. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't been worried about what was going on with Santana. After Puck suggested that there was something Santana was keeping from her, Brittany had tried not to let it get to her, but it was always in the back of her mind, especially with how they'd been fighting so much. She'd thought it was something to do with Malek. This was so much better. This was fantastic.
She pulled back from the kiss, resting her forehead against Santana's.
"I love you." She said honestly.
"I love you too." Santana said easily, her hands secure around Brittany's waist.
"Thank you for caring so much about my dreams and my feelings."
Santana pecked her lips. "Duh." She said, rolling her eyes playfully.
"So all this time you've just been silently panicking over me wanting to be pregnant?"
"Yeah." Santana chuckled sheepishly.
"Silly." Brittany said softly, before pulling Santana in for a deeper kiss.
"Oh!" The door banging against the wall beside them made them both jump, quickly pulling apart. A waiter, who looked as young as nineteen stood in the doorway with a tray in his hands, blushing furiously. "I'm so sorry. I didn't see…I…" He spun around, facing away from them. "I didn't see anything. I'm sorry Mrs Lopez-Pierce."
"It's fine." Santana chuckled, giving Brittany one last kiss. "How do I look babe? Does it look like I've been crying?"
"Only a little." Brittany said, gently running her thumb over Santana's cheek. "But once we get back out into the cool fresh air, you should be fine."
"Okay." Santana nodded, running her hand through her hair.
"If that doesn't work, you can just tell people you had too much to drink."
"Oh." Santana's eyes widened. "That's smart. No one will ask any questions after that."
"Come on." Brittany jerked her head towards the door. "Will you dance with me?"
"Of course birthday girl." Santana grinned. "Turn around kid." She said to the waiter who was still facing the door. "You didn't walk in on anything, relax."
He didn't move. When they reached him, they saw that not only had he turned around, but his eyes were shut tight as well. Brittany giggled.
"Are you going to wait for us to leave before you continue to wherever you were going?"
He nodded, eyes still closed.
"Okay." Santana smacked her lips. "You do that."
"I didn't mean to interrupt." He said.
"We were in the middle of a corridor, what do you think we were doing?"
The boy cracked his eyes open slightly, before slamming them shut once more.
"N-nothing." He stammered, face turning ever redder. "I'm not thinking about you…I'm…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry."
"Let's go Santana." Brittany laughed. "The best thing we can do for him is leave."
Brittany led Santana back to the party, feeling suddenly a lot more excited. It was like the night had just began. She and Santana were finally okay after months of being on edge and out of sync, and Brittany could feel the difference. She felt lighter. Something inside her had finally settled. Now she was going to dance with Santana and eat cotton candy all night long.
With only a few weeks left before the record release, Santana was spending as much time as she could in the studio. She left early in the morning, before the kids had even gotten ready for school, and came back just before bed-time so she could kiss them goodnight. Sometimes, like tonight, she didn't make it back in time and would quietly creep into their rooms to kiss them as they slept.
She sat for a few minutes, listening to Mateo's deep breaths as he slept peacefully, missing him so much even though he was right in front of her.
The past six years that Santana had spend focusing on her kids had been a blessing, and Santana would never forget that. As much as she sometimes missed having things to do that were just for her, and leaving the house to go to the studio everyday, there was something special about having the only thing on her mind be her kids. She challenged herself every week to come up with something new for them to do, and got to see the small ways they changed in such short periods of time.
Now that she was gone all the time, she was missing more. Like now, Mateo was sleeping with his action figures, and Santana couldn't remember when he'd changed from wanting to sleep with his trucks. She couldn't remember if he'd slept with the action figures the night before, even though she'd come in to kiss him goodnight. She couldn't remember what he'd slept with the night before that, or any other night of the week for that matter. And it wasn't a big deal, trucks or action figures, but these were details she would have caught immediately before she'd gone back to work.
Being back at work was finally feeling good. Santana was finally enjoying herself, even though she was tired and stressed and little anxious about the album release. She was back in the zone and loving it. But the downsides couldn't be ignored.
After a few minutes, Santana finally decided to go back to her own room. She placed a soft kiss on Mateo's forehead and left him to his deep sleep. Brittany was already in bed when she got to her room, watching something on a tablet. She looked up when Santana walked in.
"Did he wake up?" She asked.
"No. I was just watching him."
"Ah." Brittany nodded. "Stalker."
"Shut up." Santana chuckled, walking into her closet to get her pajamas.
"They're okay you know?" Brittany called to her.
"I know."
"They understand why you're busy, and that it's not forever."
Santana picked a pair of shorts and a tank top and walked back out.
"I know."
"Stop feeling guilty."
"I'm not."
Brittany cocked her head, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm really not." Santana chuckled. "I miss them, that's all. But I'm not thinking that working so much makes me a bad mother."
"Good." Brittany turned back to the ipad, pressing play on the video.
"What're you watching?"
"Ryan and Kaycee's submission for Feu et danse."
"That's…" Santana narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. "That's the French thingy…"
"Yeah." Brittany laughed. "The under thirteen dance and choreography competition. I can give them criticism but I can't actually change their choreography."
"How are they doing?"
Brittany shrugged, pausing the video. "They're getting better. Neither of them have choreographed before, but Ryan's a natural. He takes my criticisms really seriously, and then when they do it again I can see how he listened."
Santana pulled her shirt off. "But?"
"But there's still a long way to go. They're young, but so is everyone else in this competition. I don't think they'll win, but it's good exposure for them."
"Mmhh" Santana slipped on the tank, quickly changed into her shorts and climbed into bed. "You're gonna make those kids great Beebee."
"Thanks." Brittany smiled.
"When do you go to France?"
"Not for a while. June."
"Cool." Santana picked a hair tie from her bedside and began tying her hair up. "Maybe I'll come with you."
"That'll be fun." Brittany grinned. "It's been a while since we were in-"
Brittany's phone rang, interrupting her. Santana raised an eyebrow, wondering who was calling so late. Shrugging, Brittany reached over to her bedside table for her phone. Santana watched the colour drain from Brittany's face as she stared down at the phone. She didn't answer.
"What? Who is it?" She asked. Brittany didn't even acknowledge that Santana had spoken. Her wide eyes remained fixed on the phone. "Brittany?" Not getting an answer, Santana took the phone from Brittany's hand to see for herself. As soon as she saw the caller ID she understood Brittany's grim expression. There was only one reason Julia would be calling them, a reason they had been dreading from months.
She quickly answered it.
"Hello."
"Hel…Oh, uh…I'm calling for Brittany Lopez-Pierce?"
Santana looked at Brittany, who aside from shifting her eyes from the phone to Santana had not moved at all, and knew she would not be able to have this conversation.
"It's Santana."
"Oh." Julia's voice got more confident. "Sorry Santana, it's been a while since we talked, I didn't recognize your voice."
"That's fine."
"How are you?"
"No offense Julia but can we skip to the point."
Santana didn't hate Julia, but she wasn't particularly fond of the woman. She always seemed oblivious to the emotions she and Brittany were going through, always taking as long as possible to get to the point as if she didn't know that the information she had was killing them. She'd thought she was done having to deal with it once Sophia and Mateo's adoption was finalized, but yet, here she was, once again waiting for Julia to drop a bomb into her life.
"Right. That's how you always liked it." Santana could almost picture Julia nodding resolutely.
"Please."
"Of course. Okay, well here it is. Kevin has been granted parole."
Santana's heart sunk low in her stomach. She dropped her head, her eyes falling shut.
"What did she say?" Brittany whispered so quietly Santana barely heard her.
"Santana I know this is hard to hear, but the judge read your letters and is sympathetic to your concerns."
"My concerns." Santana scoffed.
"What? What is she saying?" Brittany's voice was stronger now. She moved for the first time since seeing that Julia was calling, reaching out for Santana's hand. Santana took the phone from her ear, putting it on speaker for Brittany to hear.
"Yes." Julia was saying. "He made it clear to Mr Jacobs that he cannot and should not go looking for either of his kids-"
"They're not his kids." Santana snapped.
Julia paused. "Excuse me." She said apologetically. "Your kids."
"Right and if he does end up coming for them?"
"I'm sorry?"
"What happens to him if he does come looking for our kids? Is it a condition of his parole?"
Julia sighed. "Santana I understand your fears, but I really don't-"
"No." Santana said, climbing out of bed. "You don't understand my fears at all Julia. You're not the one who had to spend night after night coercing Sophia back to sleep after she woke up screaming and crying because she had a nightmare. A nightmare where she was back in that godforsaken house, alone because the woman who was supposed to love her abandoned her to get high, or she was with the man who beat her relentlessly because she wet the bet. You're not the one who had to feel her shake in your arms every time we went out in public because she was so scared of all the men."
"I understand-"
"Mateo's nerves are so fried from all the drugs that were coursing through his veins before he was even born, that he doesn't feel pain until it's extreme. Do you know what that does to him?"
"Santana, I understand completely that this situations is a nightmare for you. I know that all you care about is your children's safety."
"So you must also understand that telling me the judge told him not to do it, without there being any consequences if he does, doesn't make me feel any better."
"I do. But also think about how it will look if the judge became aware that he was ignored."
Brittany and Santana's eyes connected, both of them frowning.
"Would that get him sent back to jail?"
"It could."
Santana shook her head. "I don't like it."
"Me neither."
"It means we have to wait for him to come looking for them before we can do anything." Santana said. "And him coming anywhere near them is exactly what I'm trying to avoid."
"I know." Julia sighed. "But it's the best you can do for now."
Santana clenched her jaw. "No it's not."
"If you were to ask me, I can't see why he would be interested in entering hi-your kids' lives. When in his care he clearly never cared, and when we took Sophia into our custody, he never fought to get her back, that was always Nancy. He was unbothered, one way or the other. So I don't think you have anything to worry about."
"Isn't prison supposed to change people?" Brittany asked. "Make them see their mistakes, make them feel remorse."
"That's the idea I suppose." Julia said hesitantly.
"Then what if he decides he needs to make amends to them. See them and make up for how bad he was to them."
Julia was silent for a moment, then finally she said, "I don't think it's likely."
"Well I'm not taking that chance." Santana said. "Do you have his contact information?"
"I don't." Julia said slowly, sounding confused. "I've only spoken with his lawyer."
"His lawyer is good enough."
"Why, what do you want to do?" Brittany asked, crawling to the edge of the bed so she was closer to Santana.
"We're going to send him a message." Santana said, her face set in a hard glare.
"A message?" Julia asked.
"You tell him, that if he comes anywhere near our kids, he'll be shot."
"What?" Both Julia and Brittany gasped.
"Shot?" Julia asked.
Brittany scrambled off the bed, turning Santana to face her. "Santana what do you mean?"
"I had a meeting with Jessie a few days after you told me about all this Britt." Santana explained. "With the company really."
"The security company?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah. I needed them to be prepared."
"And?"
"Well, they said that a man with a record is dangerous, and since his record includes assault of both his wife and Sophia, then as Sophia's body guard they can authorize that Jessie be armed."
Brittany's eyes went wide. "So…" She licked her lips. "So if he went near Sophia with Jessie around…?"
"Jessie's been cleared to shoot him." Santana finished. "All they're waiting for is our formal request in writing that they move ahead as discussed."
"So Jessie's not armed right now?"
"No."
"Santana I really don't think-"
"Thank you for keeping us updated Julia, but Brittany and I will take it from here."
They heard Julia sigh heavily. "Alright. Have a good evening."
"Thank you." Brittany said, when Santana didn't respond. Santana hung up.
"We need to call our lawyer." Santana told Brittany, grabbing her phone from her own bedside table.
"Why?" Brittany asked.
"Because if we're planning to shoot this bastard, we need it to be legal."
Unfortunately, their lawyer told them that though Jessie may posses a gun, he wouldn't be allowed to shoot Kevin unless he was immediately threatening any of the kids. However, were they to get a restraining order against Kevin, then simply coming within a certain distance of the kids could get him sent back to jail, threat or no. That put Santana and Brittany a little more at ease.
Jessie assured them repeatedly that he was taking the kids' safety very seriously, and that as long as he was around, Kevin would not be able to approach any one of them, which from a man who had been with the family for almost a decade was good enough to at least stop the constant nausea Santana felt when she wasn't with her kids. They were safe at school, they were safe at home, and in between Jessie was with them. They were safe.
That's what Santana kept telling herself every time she began to panic. Her kids were safe and she needed to focus.
As March drew to a close, so did Santana's time in the studio. They'd polished up all songs to the point that Santana didn't think there was anything left to do. She was more than happy with how everything has turned out, the label was happy, the band was happy. All that was left was for the fans to hear it.
One week. In one week her album would be released and there would be no chance to go back in the studio and change it. Her comeback would officially be final, her new songs out there for everyone to hear and judge.
Jade and Malek seemed convinced that the songs would be a hit, but though Santana knew they were good songs, she was nervous about the reception they would get. The songs were different from her other albums; slower, more emotional. She wasn't sure what her fans would think.
"That's it." Jade said, jumping to her feet and pausing the music. "Santana for god's sake if you keep listening to them you're going to convince yourself there's something wrong."
"And there isn't." Malek said. "It's a solid album Santana, I keep telling you. Perfect to come back with."
"What if it's too different?" Santana asked nervously, biting her lip.
"Different is good mami." Jesús said, spinning round in his chair. "If you always do the same thing, that's boring." He shrugged.
Jade grinned at him. "That's right my man." She gripped his chair and spun him faster, making Jesús squeal. Santana watched him in amusement.
"Listen to your kid." Malek said, standing up and walking to Santana. "Different is good, and this," he pointed at the computer, "this is fucking amazing."
Santana finally allowed herself to smile, taking in a deep breath. "Okay." She nodded. "Fine, well we better get out of here before I feel the need to play the album again."
"Oh already?" Jesús whined, pouting up at Santana.
"There's nothing else I'm doing here mijo." Santana chuckled.
He stopped spinning and hopped up from the chair. "Can I have a guitar lesson?"
Santana cocked her head. "From who?"
Smiling cheekily, he pointed at Jade. Santana narrowed her eyes, smirking at him.
"Alright smart guy. Why don't you ask Jade if she even wants to teach you."
Jesús turned to Jade. "Jade-"
"Of course mate." Jade laughed, ruffling his hair. "Let me get us some guitars."
As Jade taught Jesús how to play a new song, Santana and Malek sat on the couch, watching him as they talked.
"I'm actually going to miss coming to the studio every day." Santana said.
"Of course you will." Malek said, shrugging. "Nothing's stopping you."
"I should take a break." Santana said with a small headshake. "Remind my kids they have a mother."
"He doesn't look like he's forgotten." Malek pointed at Jesús, who at that moment turned to grin excitedly at Santana.
"Did you hear that?" he asked her.
"I did love, I did. Good job."
"Let's try the next part." Jade said, calling Jesús' attention back to her.
"See." Malek said. "Your kids are fine. You're an amazing mother."
"Thank you." Santana looked curiously at Malek. They hadn't talked much about her kids in the months they'd known each other, which Santana realised was weird. "Do you want kids?"
Malek shrugged. "I used to."
"And then you met mine?" Santana joked. Malek laughed, shaking his head.
"No Jesús is great." He said, sounding so sincere Santana stopped smiling, sensing there was more to his tone.
"So what changed your mind then?"
Malek turned away from Santana, his jaw clenching powerfully. He had a look on his face that Santana recognized as the one he had every time she or Jade asked him about his valentine's day plans.
"I don't really make plans like that anymore."
Santana frowned. Something about that statement and the way he said it, made Santana feel suddenly very sad for Malek. She didn't know much about him, other than he'd also taken a break from music for a while, only having returned two years ago. She didn't know about his family, or if he even had family, or if he had friends. The fact that they'd been working closely together for six months and she knew nothing about him was odd, but like Santana had told Brittany, she and Malek didn't have any kind of relationship outside of work. She wouldn't really call him her friend, clearly, since they didn't even talk about her kids, they were friendly, yes, and worked well together. Santana enjoyed the time she spent with him more than any of her previous drummers, that she could admit to. But seriously, she had no idea why Brittany, Quinn or Puck thought there was anything suspicious about the guy. Realising how little she knew about Malek actually made Santana feel a lot better about her insistence that there was nothing going on between them. Obviously she knew there was nothing, but here was the proof. Maybe now that Santana wasn't going to be spending so much time alone with him, everyone would see the real nature of their working relationship and all the drama could be put behind them.
"Mami listen!" Jesús said excitedly. "Listen I got the chorus."
She listened to Jesús practice with Jade until six thirty, before finally calling it a night and going home. Now that she was actually able to make it for dinner, Santana didn't want to miss it. She was surprised to see Quinn and Puck's cars parked in her driveway when she drove in. Jesús was out of the car before she'd even turned off the car, sprinting into the house. Santana followed at a more leisurely pace.
She was accosted as soon as she walked through the door.
"Mami I didn't do anything to him." Sophia said, running so fast she nearly collided with her. "He's just being a baby, I promise I didn't do anything."
"Mami!" Mateo cried, also running to Santana. He flung his arms around her waist, burying his head in her stomach as he cried. "Mami Sophia said I'm weird."
"I never." Sophia shook her head.
"YOU DID!" Mateo turned to scream at her.
"Okay." Santana picked Mateo up, brushing his hair back from his face. "Don't scream Niki."
"She's always mean to me."
"Mmhh" Santana nodded sympathetically. She was aware that sometimes Sophia and Jesús got fed up with Mateo, but she'd come to understand that a big part of that was how he constantly came crying to either her or Brittany. She couldn't exactly tell Mateo this, but she understood the irritation his siblings held. Of course that didn't mean she was fine with them picking on him. "Sophia you said you didn't call him weird?"
"No I didn't." Sophia shook her head frantically. "I never said he was weird."
"What did you say?"
Sophia bit her bottom lip, averting her eyes, and Santana knew she'd caught her. Sophia was smart, like Brittany, and often used word play to her advantage.
"What word did you use?" Santana asked sternly.
"Abnormal." Sophia muttered.
"Uhuh." Santana nodded. "Niki do you know what abnormal means?"
Though he was frowning angrily, Mateo shook his head.
"So why are you upset love?"
"Jesús and Kyler were laughing. Ky told me it's like weird."
"It means different." Santana told him. "And if you ask Jesús, he'll tell you different is good."
"Really?" Mateo asked, his tears ceasing almost at once. Santana held back a laugh and nodded.
"Go ask him." She put him down and watched him run off.
"I'm sorry." Sophia said immediately.
"You shouldn't pick on him, I've told you this."
"He gets so annoying sometimes." Sophia whined. "And he likes annoying me on purpose so he can get me in trouble."
"He won't be able to get you in trouble if you don't do anything."
"I know." Sophia bowed her head.
"You have a temper babe, and unfortunately for you, my sharp tongue." Santana gently nudged Sophia's chin getting her to look up. "Have you ever heard me say anything mean to your mum?"
Sophia shook her head.
"Have I ever said anything mean to you?"
"No."
"You know why?"
Sophia shook her head again.
"Because I made a decision a long time ago to protect the people I love, even from myself. So even when I'm really angry with you or your brothers-"
"Or mama."
"Or mama." Santana smiled. "I never let anything mean slip out, because I would never allow anyone else to talk to you or your mama like that, so I know I shouldn't either."
Sophia looked down again, looking thoughtful.
"Your brothers might be annoying, but they're your brothers, and you love them. It's okay to get irritated, and it's even okay to argue, but don't be mean."
Sophia looked up and nodded.
"Good."
Santana pulled her into a hug, then lifted her up suddenly. Sophia giggled.
"Mami!"
"What? I can still carry you. You're still my baby."
Sophia didn't protest, allowing Santana to carry back into the living room. She dropped Sophia unceremoniously onto the couch and made her way to the kitchen where Quinn and Brittany were cooking and Puck was sitting on the kitchen island.
"Well, well, well." Quinn said, wiping her hand on a cloth. "Look who finally decided to join us."
"I was mediating peace negotiations."
Brittany laughed, rounding the counter to give Santana a kiss.
"I heard the whole thing." She told Santana. "So they knew they had no hope with me."
"Why's that?"
"Niki baited her."
"Ah." Santana nodded.
"Hey Lopierce." Puck stood up and hugged her.
"Puckerman, I feel like I haven't seen you in a year."
"I've been busy." He shrugged. "And so have you."
"Fair enough."
Santana removed her jacket and set it down in a chair.
"Quinn, aren't you about to pop?"
"Pretty much."
"Do you want to do it in my kitchen?"
Quinn rolled her eyes, carrying the chopping board over to the stove and turning her back on Santana and Puck.
"I'm not going to have my baby in your kitchen Santana."
"How long have you been standing for?"
"Will you relax." Quinn chuckled, glancing over her shoulder. "I'm still a month away."
"A little less than a month." Puck said, pointing at her. "Three and a half weeks."
All three women turned to him with raised eyebrows.
"What?" Puck asked.
"It's sweet that you know that Noah." Brittany said.
"Whatever."
"Anyway the point is." Quinn said, turning back to the pan. "I'm still a long way from popping. So relax."
"Alright." Santana raised both her hands in defeat. "What do I know about being pregnant."
"Exactly." Quinn nodded. "If I can come to your release party, I can cook dinner."
"Wait a minute." Santana said, holding up a hand. "You're coming to the release party?"
"Yeah!"
"Are you sure about that Quinn?" Brittany asked. "You'll be like eight a half months pregnant."
"And?" Quinn frowned.
Santana and Puck looked at each other, both confused and worried.
"And it'll be a party with lots of people and commotion and everything." Santana said.
"And?" Quinn asked again.
"Don't you want to be at home with your feet up?" Puck asked.
"No." Quinn shook her head. "I'll be at home for the next year. I won't be able to go out, and I won't want to. So I'm enjoying it while I can."
Again Santana and Puck looked at each other, this time Puck shrugged.
"Okay…" Santana said.
"We'll just keep an eye on you." Brittany said. "Santana can make sure you have a place to sit when you need to."
"Brittany." Quinn sighed, sounding irritated.
"Quinn, this isn't high school." Brittany snapped. "You're not sixteen years old. You can't be eight months pregnant out at night at a party with dozens of people and loud music and nowhere to sit. You're supposed to be taking it easy, not stressing your body. Just let us take care of you."
"Alright." Quinn said placating Brittany. "Fine. Make it a comfortably couch Santana."
"You got it." Santana chuckled.
"That party's going to be so awesome." Puck said, grinning. "I missed them, I won't lie."
"I only have three other albums Noah." Santana said, rolling her eyes.
"Exactly." Puck said. "Hence my missing them."
"You only miss the hot chicks." Quinn said, lowering the heat and turning around. "I remember how you were at the last one. How many did you hook up with again? Remind me."
Puck smirked, but to Santana's surprise, shook his head.
"Not this time." He said. "I'm looking forward to the good booze and music."
"Wow." Brittany said, frowning. "I actually believe you."
"Alright." Santana said, pointing at Puck. "Whoever this girl is that has you so goddamn whipped needs to present herself ASAP."
Puck laughed. "I bet it's driving you mad isn't it?"
"Yes actually." Santana said.
"Come on Noah, is she scared to meet the great Santana Lopez? Is that it?" Quinn asked.
"No."
"She's not a fan, can you imagine?" Santana said.
"What?" Brittany exclaimed, scandalized.
"I know." Santana nodded. "I told him it's a red flag."
"It's not that she doesn't like your music, she's just not…like a fanatic, that's what I meant."
"Well did you invite her to the release then?" Quinn asked.
Puck smiled. "I did."
"Great so we'll meet her then." Santana said, satisfied. She finally sat down in the seat next to Puck.
"Maybe."
"Maybe?" Quinn laughed. "You think you can sneak her in and hide her all night without any one of us spotting her?"
Puck shrugged, an amused smirk playing on his lips.
"We'll see."
Santana grinned at Brittany, feeling even more excited for the release part than she had been before. One week suddenly felt way to long to wait.