The Young Ones
Chapter 13: Mending Bones
Harry hurt. His bones had finished re-growing about an hour ago but they had to wait for the skele-gro to fully leave his system before he could have a pain reliever.
And it fucking hurt.
His mum and Arthur hadn't left his side, though. They had been there the entire time; holding him, speaking to him, helping him. Loving him.
He was exhausted, too. Even the nap he had managed to get in when the pain got too much hadn't helped with the bone-deep exhaustion he felt throughout his body.
His mum kept apologising. For everything. For believing the healers. For not breaking through the potions in his system before now. For not healing his bones sooner. For their previous relationship. For not being a good mother. For everything.
And Harry kept telling him that it wasn't his fault. Because it wasn't. But he knew, and he understood, that the man would take a while, if ever, to believe it. Harry would keep trying to get him to believe it, though. It hurt seeing the pain his mother was in, Arthur, too.
And yet he felt that pain, too. The pain of losing a child.
His little Reggie may not be born yet, may not even be conceived yet, but he was still his baby. He was still going to be his son. And watching his older self, in labour as he held his oldest, dying baby in his arms. Watching himself trying desperately to heal his son and not being able to. It tore at his heart more than anything ever could. And he knew that that image would always be ingrained into his mind, even if that future didn't come to pass.
He kept trying to think of things to make sure that the future didn't come to pass, but he couldn't. He knew they had a plan, but there was no guarantee that the plan would work the way they wanted it to. And it scared the life out of him. Knowing that he could reach that point in his life and actually have to live it.
Maybe it wasn't just the big things he had to change?
Maybe there were little things he could change also to make a difference?
He was so lost and confused.
And desperate.
He prayed to Merlin that his future self and their unborn baby was okay, that they would continue to be okay.
That his children didn't go back to a horrible future without their baby brother in it.
That his future self didn't have to experience that pain again.
He sighed shakily, trying to get his mind to think about anything else.
Anything.
"Harry, do you need anything?" his mum asked gently, the man's voice a little strained.
For the pain to be over would be nice. To be able to move without the stiffness in his joints. Without pain.
He had never really thought about how much the Dursleys must have fucked him up. They hurt him, sure, he knew that. He was there, after all. He felt every blow. But now that his mind and body felt… safe, for once… truly safe, everything was hitting him all over again. And he had never thought this could happen.
Sure, he had felt the odd residual pain before, in the brief moments where nothing was going on. But he was always too stressed, there was always too much going on around him, and he never felt safe enough to truly let his guard down. To feel. And now his adrenaline was wavering. Once he was in a state of perpetual fight. Now he wasn't. Now he was free.
But with freedom came pain apparently.
At least for now anyway.
"I don't think so, mum," Harry said gently, his voice also a tad strained.
His mother laid a cool, damp flannel on his forehead and proceeded to gently wipe the sheen of sweat off his face and neck, followed by his arms and legs.
Harry briefly wondered if this is what would have happened if he had gotten ill whilst being raised by his mum. If he would have been looked after with the diligent, gentle care of the man who birthed him.
And he very quickly had to stop thinking of those possibilities because it hurt too much.
And he didn't dare bring it up because he didn't want to hurt his mother any more. He could see the dried tear tracks on his cheeks, and Arthur's, the redness also, and he didn't want to hurt either of them any more by bringing up how he was meant to be raised.
"Harry," his mum said, gently wiping a tear away from Harry's cheek with the pad of his thumb, a tear that Harry hadn't even realised he was crying, "What's the matter?"
"Everything," Harry said, a small chuckle escaping him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" his mum said, a worried frown on his face.
"Yes, but no,"
"Harry, you can talk to me about anything,"
"I know. But I don't want to hurt us like that," Harry said quietly.
"Harry, child, you can talk to me about anything. Even painful things,"
"I know," Harry said, his voice shaking as he looked into his mum's dark, concerned eyes, "I just… I don't want to hurt you like that, by bringing it up," he could see Arthur looking between him and his mother in concern out of the corner of his eyes, "I was just thinking, imagining really,"
"What were you thinking about? I don't mind you telling me, even if it is painful. I'm okay," his mum said.
Harry smiled slightly, "No, you're not. But neither am I, so I guess that's okay. We can not be okay together," his throat bobbed slightly as he tried to gather the courage to say something, he shouldn't, but he wanted to know, needed to know, "I… I was just won-wondering if this is what… if this is what you'd have been like if you had raised me, when I was ill or something. If you would have looked after me like this. You don't have to tell me. I get it. I just… You're so diligent and gentle, and you look after me in ways that no one has before, and I… Yeah, I just kinda imagined if this is what it was always meant to be like. I'm sorry,"
He could see the pain in his mum's eyes as the man swallowed deeply a few times, trying to fight off his own tears, and it tore at Harry's already broken heart.
"I'm sorry," Harry whispered.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Harry. You have every right to be curious, to ask about these things," his mum swallowed again, "But yes, I would have… I had hoped that you would never be hurt, or fall sick, like I'm sure most mothers do. But if you had I would have looked after you, like I am doing now. I would have stayed by your side the whole time, and…" the man swallowed thickly again, his eyes shining slightly, "But from now on I promise I will be by your side through it all, no matter what. No one is taking you from me again,"
"Good," Harry said, his lips tugging up at the edges, "Because I don't want to leave you again. And I'm sorry I left you when I was born,"
"It's not your fault, Harry," his mum said quickly.
"It's not your fault either, mum," Harry said, just as quickly, his voice as firm as he could make it in that moment.
The man nodded, a tear finally leaking from his dark eyes as he looked down at the quilt covering Harry.
"It's hard to believe that when I should have known you weren't… I should have felt you. I should have fought the potions. I shouldn't have believed them,"
"You didn't know there were any potions in you to fight against, mum. You were in a hospital. Hospitals are meant to be safe places. You couldn't have imagined that they were lying to you, and maybe they didn't know they were lying to you. We will find out, though. For both of our sakes we need to know everything that happened when I was born, when the actual Harry Potter was born, or the boy that was meant to be him anyway. It's not your fault, though. And I know you probably won't ever believe us, but it won't stop us from telling you the truth," Harry said gently.
And then Harry froze, not that he was moving much in the first place given his stiffness, and the pain, but he sat, frozen in shock as his mind reeled.
His name.
That was a small thing he could change. Right?
The kids had said he was Lord Harry James Potter-Riddle in the future. So what if he changed it? Would that change be enough to help change things?
Or was that name given as a bluff? Did his older self tell Salazar to say that was his name for the sake of getting people to believe him, wherever they landed? So that people would give his future children to him?
The Potters loved him enough to die for him, but they thought he was their son. He still loved them, though, because you can't just stop loving the people you thought were your parents your whole life, unless, of course, he had found out that they didn't actually know about the switch.
But he wanted his mother's name. His true mother's name. And maybe this small change would change the future enough. Just in case their plan didn't work out.
If it was a change, anyway. He couldn't imagine why his older self wouldn't have wanted to change his name the second he found out the truth, and he kicked himself mentally for not thinking of it before.
"Harry, are you okay?" his mum asked, concern in his voice and features.
Did Harry have a glamour on him, too? One to make him look like the Potters? Or was he blood adopted? What the hell happened on that day? If he could change those things? If he could change his name, his appearance, then maybe… maybe Reggie wouldn't die?
He sounded ridiculous, he thought.
Ridiculous.
Why would those things matter?
Those insignificant details. Why should they matter?
But it was a change… maybe? And any change could only be good, right?
Right?
"Harry, are you okay? You can have a pain reliever now, then I will get on with re-breaking and setting your other breaks," his mum said gently.
Harry nodded and gratefully swallowed the potion in the vial that was pressed against his lips.
He needed to make changes, right?
He needed to save his baby, and any change… any change is one step closer to doing so, right?
Right?
Merlin, he hoped so.
But was it a good thing for him to do? What if those minor, insignificant changes changed things for the worse? What if it caused all of his children to die? What if it caused other issues? What if…?
He supposed that any change, big or small, could have negative effects also. Their plan could end up making things worse than they were. No matter how small that chance was. It could happen.
And it hurt more than words could describe to think about the possibility that they could make everything worse. That they could lose more than just Reggie.
But they had to try, right?
They had to try and save him.
And any change, any at all, could do that.
So maybe this was a good thing.
He was so confused, and hurt, and… everything.
He honestly had no clue what to do, and it scared the living daylights out of him.
"Harry, do you feel any pain at all?" his mum asked.
"No," Harry muttered in relief.
"Good. Is it okay if I start then? If you start feeling any pain then let me know and I will give you more of the potion, or a higher strength one if need be. Or I can put you to sleep if you would rather that instead," his mum said gently.
Sleep.
Sleep sounded good at that moment.
Maybe then his thoughts would be able to get more coherent.
He could sleep on it.
"Sleep please," Harry said quietly, and his mum nodded and pulled another potion out of his bag.
"Are you alright, Harry?" his mum asked again.
"Yeah, mum. I just… I'm tired," Harry said, and he meant it, partially.
But he could tell that his mum knew he wasn't being completely honest with him.
His mum gave him the potion, though, and soon he was engulfed in a comforting darkness.
Hiya, how are you all?
I am sorry for the delay in posting this, I was meant to update last week but life is getting the better of me lately, and I have been way too exhausted to get much writing done. But here we are, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. So, what is going to happen next I wonder? Is Harry going to change his name? What happened on the day he was born? What cute moments with the kids are there going to be? And what else would you like to see? I am interested in hearing your thoughts.
Anywho, I posted an essay/petition where I (un)officially explain why I think I should be cast as my favourite character, Severus Snape, in the new HBO series, despite the fact that I am a woman. It would mean a lot if you went and read it, but no pressure. It isn't going to lead to anything, unless, by some miracle, it goes viral, but it was fun to write. It is on my AO3, Maraudering_Paige. Feel free to go and check it out.
Also, I am working on some Spotify playlists for my fanfics, so if you can think of any songs you think work with the stories as they are so far, or where you think they are going, or songs that give you the vibes you get from the stories, then please do let me know and I will give them a listen, then potentially add them to the playlists. I will let you know as soon as they are ready, though it may take a few weeks because life.
I have a Facebook group called Maraudering_Paige which you are all welcome to join if you would like to and are able to. It is where we can talk about Harry Potter, fanfics, life, share memes and more. It is also where I have somewhat of an update schedule for my fics and will be keeping you up to date on what I am working on, in regards to fanfics, original works, and more things. So if you are interested in joining then I am more than happy to accept you all.
Also, would anyone be interested in perhaps and Instagram or a TikTok, or both, specifically for my writing? This would be perfect if you can't join the group as I can keep you up to date on everything on them. I won't be able to do too much on there at the moment given my situation, but I can keep you all posted on what I am working on and such on platforms that more of you may use? I don't know. It is just a thought I have been having lately. Let me know what you think.
I hope you are having an amazing day!
Kind regards,
Paige xx