Janeece approached the school gates. She paused as she watched all the students piling into the building of Waterloo Road. Some were smiling and laughing. The sound of laughter was physically painful for Janeece to hear. She wasn't sure if she would ever laugh again.
She wasn't really sure why she'd come to school. Everyone had told her yesterday to stay at home today. Her Mum, Miss Mason, Steph. And yet, here she was, stood outside the gates of Waterloo Road.
The truth was, she hadn't been able to sleep. Janeece had been awake all night, staring blankly at the ceiling, crying on and off. The pain she felt in her heart was overpowering and enough to keep her awake. She'd been lying in bed, with only her thoughts for company, until she physically couldn't stay there anymore. When daylight had started peeping through the gap in her curtains, and her 6AM alarm was going off as usual, she got up and got dressed. She couldn't stay at home all day, she didn't want to. So she had gotten ready and walked to school.
The thought of being here now, at school, repulsed her. And yet, the thought of being stuck at home did too. In fact, the thought of being in a world without Maxine repulsed her.
Just 24 hours ago, Maxine had been alive. She'd walked into school, just like she would any other day. How could it be that her best friend had been here one minute and not the next?
Just 24 hours ago, Janeece's world had been colourful and full of life. She had her best friend by her side. Even though they'd had a disagreement at lunchtime, it didn't matter. Maxine had been there. And now she was gone, leaving Janeece in a bleak, black and white world that was deafeningly quiet. Maxine had gone, and she had taken the colour from the world with her.
Just a few months ago, they had started to plan their joint 18th birthday party. They'd talked about going to University together, getting a flat together somewhere whilst they studied. And then, once they'd graduated, going travelling for a year. They'd talked about what their life would be like when they were older, their children growing up together, how they'd always be there for one another. So many plans and dreams for a future that was now gone. Maxine's life had been ripped away from her before she'd even had chance to live it. It wasn't fair.
Janeece felt guilty that she had survived the events of yesterday afternoon. Why hadn't Earl shot her instead and let Maxine live? Or if he had to shoot someone, why hadn't he shot both of them? Because Janeece didn't know what to do now Maxine was gone. She was lost without her best friend. Everything felt pointless.
Why hadn't she called an ambulance the second Earl had walked into the living room with that gun? Why had she called the police first? Would Maxine still be here if she'd called the ambulance first? Janeece didn't know. And she'd never find out.
How had she been so naive to think this was just a 'classic break-up'? This was Earl Kelly they were talking about! Why hadn't she taken Maxine to her house yesterday, instead of Steph's? She would have been safe there. But that was just it, Janeece hadn't thought either of them had been in any danger, and neither had Maxine. She'd underestimated Earl Kelly, everyone had.
Janeece's mind was whirring constantly. It had been since yesterday afternoon. All the things she had done wrong in relation to what happened kept circulating around in her mind, taunting her. She knew she couldn't change any of it, it was too late. But it didn't stop her from wishing that she could. Seeing Earl for what he really was, finding out about that baby had cost Maxine her life.
The sound of the bell echoed across the school grounds.
Janeece wiped her tears, swinging her bag onto her shoulder as she walked across the car park and into the school building. She regretted her decision to come to school with every step she took.
She regretted it even more when Mr Lawson was stood in the corridor. It was the look on his face when his eyes fell on her. It was one of sympathy and sadness. Maybe a little shock too. She wasn't supposed to be in today. No one had been expecting her to come in.
"Hello, Sir" she mumbled, staring at her shoes
"Hi, Janeece" Mr Lawson replied
"Look, I'm sorry; I know I'm not supposed to be here. But I just couldn't be at home. Maxine... she'd want me to be here" she explained
Mr Lawson nodded.
"It's ok, Janeece. We're about to go into assembly. I'm going to tell everyone what's happened. Lessons are cancelled for at least the next few days, but we're keeping the school open" he informed her
"Isn't it Miss Mason's job to tell everyone?" she asked, frowning
"Miss Mason is off sick today" he told her
Janeece nodded quietly. She had noticed last night at the Police Station that she hadn't looked very well.
"Are you staying out here? Or are you coming in?" he asked, pulling her from her thoughts
"I'll stay out here. I don't need to re-live it all again" she replied, smiling weakly
Mr Lawson nodded.
"She'd hate all this, all the attention" she added, her eyes welling up with tears
"You don't have to be here, Janeece. You can go home" Mr Lawson reminded her
Janeece shook her head.
"I'm fine, Sir" she reassured
Mr Lawson nodded again.
"Come up to Miss Mason's office after assembly and we can have a chat, yeah?" he added
She nodded, taking a seat on one of the chairs opposite Reception.
...
Eddie stepped into the large hall. The noise was overwhelming. The hall was full; every seat was occupied with either a student or member of staff. It made Eddie nervous, knowing what he was about to tell them.
"Ready?" Charlotte asked, appearing beside him
Eddie nodded, walking up the steps and onto the stage. The students and staff immediately settled as he cleared his throat to start speaking. He could feel their eyes on him, watching expectantly.
"Thank you all for coming... uhm- today isn't going to be an easy day for any of us..." he started
The students continued to stare at him, growing increasingly more confused. Eddie once again swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I'm afraid I have some very sad news to share with you all this morning. Some of you may be aware of what's happened, others may not" he continued
He cleared his throat again.
"Yesterday afternoon, Maxine Barlow passed away, after being shot with a gun"
There were gasps and cries in response to Eddie's words. Eddie wasn't surprised. Maxine had been loved and adored by many. Her death would come as a shock to anyone.
Once the hall had quietened down again, Eddie continued to speak.
"You are probably all wondering how this happened, and who was responsible. As it will soon be common knowledge, I feel safe in telling you all that... Earl Kelly was responsible for the death of Maxine"
There was uproar at that. Some students stared at one another in disbelief, whilst others were shouting angrily across the hall.
"QUIET!" Eddie shouted
The students settled, returning to their seats. The atmosphere in the hall had gone from being upbeat, to sad and angry in seconds.
"Now, I know this has come as a shock to everyone. Maxine was a bright, kind young woman. She was loved by everyone here. The circumstances surrounding her death are still being investigated. But I want to reassure you all that Earl Kelly is being dealt with appropriately and won't be hurting anyone else"
There was silence at that.
"Lessons are cancelled until further notice, but Waterloo Road will stay open. We're here for anyone who needs support, or wants to talk about Maxine. This is a difficult time, so let's all be here for one another"
More silence.
"And on that note, I'm going to hand over to Charlotte" he added, stepping off the stage so Charlotte could take his place
As Charlotte began her speech, Eddie retreated to the back of the room. He was relieved that it was over. He'd hated every second. Now all they had to do was deal with the aftermath of the news. From what he could see, the impact of Maxine's death on the students was going to be as bad as he'd expected.
...
Steph was heading down to the photocopier when she saw Janeece waiting near Reception. She wished she'd stayed hidden away in her classroom. Whilst she liked Janeece, she was currently the last person she wanted to see. She didn't blame Janeece for Maxine's death; it had nothing to do with that. She knew Janeece was hurting and grieving in the exact same way that she was, and being there for one another would be helpful. But Steph didn't know how to comfort or be there for Janeece when she was falling to pieces herself. It was one of the main reasons she'd come to work, to prevent the chance of Janeece coming over to the house. That and the fact Steph didn't want to be at home.
She thought about turning around and going the other way to get to the photocopier. But it was too late. Janeece had already spotted her. Steph couldn't turn away now.
She pushed passed the feeling of wanting to run and headed in Janeece's direction. There were no smiles or 'Hello's' exchanged between them. There was silence.
"I thought you'd be at home today" Steph commented, breaking the deafening silence
"I could say the same about you" Janeece shrugged
"Fair point" Steph chuckled
"I just couldn't stay at home" Janeece told her
Steph nodded, patting Janeece's hand.
"I know. I get it" Steph nodded
"Steph? Can we... talk about what happened?" Janeece asked hesitantly
Steph sighed. Her eyes welled up with tears when she saw the broken look in Janeece's eyes.
"I can't, Janeece. I've got a huge pile of marking to get through. Maybe another day, yeah?" she suggested
Janeece nodded
Steph stood up, inhaling shakily.
"Chin up, yeah?" she said, squeezing Janeece's arm gently before walking away, wiping the stray tear that was rolling down her cheek
...
Eddie watched as the students filed out of the hall. Even though it had been difficult, he was relieved it was over.
Charlotte approached him.
"How do you think that went?" she asked
"As well as could be expected" he shrugged
"You've done all you can, Eddie. And you handled it well. The kids know they can come here and who they can go to for support. You've been open and honest with them. No one could have done it better" she reassured
Eddie nodded. Even though he knew all of that, he couldn't help but feel he shouldn't have had to do any of it. Because Maxine should still be here.
"I'm going to go and get settled in my office, shall we catch up at break?" Charlotte suggested
Eddie nodded, leaving the hall shortly after.
The corridor was quiet. Eddie assumed most of the students had headed onto the playground, or to the vacant classrooms. As there were no lessons, some had probably decided to go home too.
He stopped in Reception when he saw Janeece. She was staring at the floor, her cheeks stained with tears. Eddie really felt for her. She hadn't just lost her best friend; she'd watched her die too. Eddie couldn't imagine how she was currently feeling.
He sat down beside her gently.
"How about we go for that chat in my office?" he suggested
Janeece nodded.
"Come on" Eddie said, standing up again
Eddie made his up the stairs to Rachel's office, Janeece following behind him.
When they got there, he asked Bridget to get Charlotte for him. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't help Janeece in the way she needed, but he knew Charlotte could.
"Have a seat" he instructed Janeece once they entered the office
Janeece sat down on the sofa, burying her head in her hands. Eddie sighed heavily, closing the door quietly.
"I'm sorry, Sir" Janeece sniffled
"Don't apologise. It's ok, Janeece" he reassured
"Maxine would tell me off for crying. She'd call me a soppy mare!" she chuckled sadly
Eddie smiled weakly.
"I thought I'd be ok coming in today. It was better than being at home. But, everywhere I look, Maxine is there, even though she isn't. I feel so lost without her, Sir" she blurted
Eddie sat down next to her.
"Janeece, you've suffered a loss. It's ok to be upset. I know it feels impossible now, but, in time, it will get easier. And you're not on your own. Don't bottle things up or pretend you're fine when you're not, yeah? Talk to us when you're struggling and we'll help in any way we can"
"Thanks, Sir" she nodded
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in" Eddie answered
He smiled politely as Charlotte entered.
"Janeece, I have someone to introduce you to" he explained, standing up to stand beside Charlotte
"This is Charlotte, the school counsellor" he added
Charlotte smiled reassuringly at Janeece.
"Charlotte, this is Janeece, one of our pupils, and Maxine's best friend"
"It's nice to meet you" Charlotte greeted
Janeece responded with a small smile.
"Charlotte is here to help and support you, Janeece. If you want it of course" he told her
Janeece nodded, staring at Charlotte curiously.
"Why don't we go to my office and have a chat?" Charlotte suggested
Janeece nodded tentatively.
Eddie watched as the two of them left the office. He knew he would still worry about Janeece and how she was coping. But he did feel a little more relaxed knowing that she now had support in place with Charlotte.
As he sat at the desk, scrolling through the emails on the computer, his mind wandered to Rachel. He couldn't help but worry. Was she ok? He hadn't wanted to leave her this morning, but he'd had no choice. The school needed him, and Rachel needed him. He couldn't be in two places at once, and Rachel needed him to be at work. So he'd come in. He wouldn't have won an argument with her.
It was now 10AM. He'd left the house just over three hours ago. Was Rachel still in bed, resting? He hoped so. But he also doubted it. Did she feel well enough to drive herself to the Doctor's this afternoon? Or would he have to sneak out of work to take her?
He pulled out his phone from his bag, staring at the screen in disappointment. There were no texts or missed calls from her. Should he be worried? Probably not. She wouldn't call him while he was at work.
Maybe he could sneak away at break to check on her? No, she would tell him off for doing that. He had to be here. He had to assume that, for now, all was ok.