Stranded
Summary: "Silence settled on her like a heavy blanket. As she had told Obi-Wan, it was unsettling. She was always so hyperaware of her surroundings that even in the calmest of times, sounds and movements blended into her subconsciousness. Even the trees were silent in the quiet air. Not much breeze stirred in the air. She concentrated on Obi-Wan's even breathing to center her mind. She couldn't afford to lose focus. Not when the Force was so elusive." After Obi-Wan crashlanding their shuttle on a strange planet, Obi-Wan and Shaak's fledging relationship is put to the test as they try to get a distress signal out and wait for rescue. (Obi-Wan Kenobi/Shaak Ti)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
"Another happy landing," Obi-Wan concluded as the ship came to an abrupt stop. He couldn't help himself.
"What?" Shaak inquired breathlessly as she steadied herself against the dashboard.
"Sorry," he turned to her with a sheepish smile. "I started saying this every time Anakin crashes a ship, and we survive."
"You crashed the ship," Shaak pointed out helpfully.
"My bad," Obi-Wan offered, and Shaak actually rolled her eyes. However, there was a small, fond smile on her grey lips. They were alive, after all, and if everything went well, their landing would be just a minor inconvenience.
As it turned out, it wasn't so.
"So, what's the verdict?" Shaak asked, peering over Obi-Wan's shoulder as the man inspected the comm unit. The ship was beyond repair, so they were forced to wait for rescue. However, the comm unit didn't look so good, either.
"I'm afraid it is not encouraging. The main circuit is fried."
"Can you fix it?"
"Not without spare parts."
"We still have the emergency beacon, right?" she asked, turning to check on the small box. It was a portable device designed for events like this. The problem was that it was nowhere near as powerful a device as the one integrated into the ship's system. And while it was a relief to find that it worked when Shaak activated it, it was as they had suspected: it had no signal.
It was hardly surprising. The view from the viewport was dismal. There wasn't much light outside; no doubt, the huge trees blocked any light that would reach the ground. As for the ground, it was uneven – the ship itself lay slightly on its side – and the slopy terrain was covered with thick underbrush. What they could tell with any kind of certainty was that they managed to land in a hollow part of an otherwise mountainous area.
They had only one choice: to hike.
"I really don't like it," Obi-Wan lamented.
"We have no other choice."
"You are right. But it still is a bad idea."
"We are together. We will be all right."
"That's true," he chuckled. "Anakin would already be out there getting into trouble. With Ahsoka right behind."
"You are safe with me. I can behave."
Obi-Wan gave her an affectionate smile. "Let's pack up and get going. The sooner we can set up that signal, the better."
They did a quick job of packing the necessary items and making inventory in the process. The ship was equipped with the standard emergency supplies, but Shaak was a little apprehensive when examining the rations. She looked back up at Obi-Wan, who was folding up the thermoblankets. It would be all right, she thought and smiled when Obi-Wan met her eyes. She closed the box and handed it to Obi-Wan.
When they stepped outside, oppressive, humid air hit them.
"I can't even tell whether it's day or night," Shaak observed after several moments of scrutiny. It didn't bode well with their situation, and Obi-Wan knew that, too. From their angle, he couldn't even tell how far up they should go to be able to get the signal through.
"Let's get going," Obi-Wan suggested; then, after sharing a look, the couple was on their way.
The terrain was harsh. The ground was uneven and overgrown with plants that could live in the shadow of the abnormally large trees. At least, they were going uphill. But little else could he ascertain from their position. The dense foliage didn't allow even a glimpse at the sky, and Obi-Wan started to feel that there was no sky above them, just endless trees. The thought was unnerving.
And he wasn't the only one who was uneasy.
It didn't take long for him to realize that Shaak felt edgy. She took the lead. As a Togruta, aided by her montrals, she was the perfect scout. She felt right at home in the dark forest. However, he could notice the subtle twitching of her lekku. Something was not sitting right with her.
"What is it, Shaak?" He walked closer to her. "Something bothers you."
She stopped, eyes inspecting the dense undergrowth. "Listen."
"It's silent."
"Too silent. There is not much movement. There is hardly any life in this forest. It is unsettling."
"On the bright side, there are no predators."
Shaak did not seem as relieved as Obi-Wan hoped to see her. She just continued walking.
Since they could not tell whether it was night or day, they settled down when the hot, humid air made it too difficult for their exhausted body to breathe. They set up camp by the massive trunk of a tree whose ancient roots offered them enough cover for their rest.
They prepared a meager meal from the rations, deciding to spare as much as possible, seeing that they couldn't even estimate how far from the top or any open area they could be.
To their surprise, the temperature started to drop soon after, and it did so drastically that they found themselves huddled together under a thermoblanket. Obi-Wan, who offered to take the first watch, sat half sitting, half lying propped against the tree while Shaak made herself comfortable laying her head on his chest.
"What is it?" she asked when she felt Obi-Wan's chest jostle with a small snort.
"Just thinking how fortunate that we managed to sort out this thing between us. Imagine how awkward it would be..."
"Fortunate indeed. This adversity is more bearable this way." And to stress her point, she aligned her body more snugly to his and began to purr. It was silent after that, and Obi-Wan thought that Shaak had fallen asleep when she spoke up.
"Something is not right here," she said contemplatively and with a touch of worry in her voice. "Can you feel it, too? As if the Force were stunted. I can feel it, but it is different. Difficult to reach."
"Yes," Obi-Wan nodded. "But if we are lucky, it would not make a difference."
"Yes," Shaak sighed heavily. "You are right."
"Sleep, darling. I'll wake you when it's your turn." He kissed her head and kept watch.
Silence settled on her like a heavy blanket. As she had told Obi-Wan, it was unsettling. She was always so hyperaware of her surroundings that even in the calmest of times, sounds and movements blended into her subconsciousness. Even the trees stood silent in the gloom. Not much breeze stirred in the air.
She concentrated on Obi-Wan's even breathing to center her mind. She couldn't afford to lose focus. Not when the Force was so elusive.
When she felt the temperature rise somewhat, she gently stroked Obi-Wan's face and watched with a loving smile as the man woke. "Good morning," she greeted him when he opened his sleepy eyes to her. He mumbled something, then buried his head against her stomach. She smiled. So, he wasn't a morning person. "We should get going. The weather seems bearable at the moment." Another unintelligible mumble, then slowly, he pushed himself up on his elbows and blinked at her with bleary eyes and a sloppy smile. Force, he looked adorable. "I'm sorry," she stroked his bearded cheek, "but it would be wise to use this weather to our advantage."
"Of course," he kissed her hand. "Let's pack up then."
After a quick breakfast, they were on their way again. Walking in the cooler weather was indeed easier, even if everything seemed to be covered in dew. All too soon, however, it was hot and humid again. Obi-Wan's clothes were clinging to him, and soon, even though Togrutas did not perspire, they both started shedding their excessive garments. To her utter bewilderment, Obi-Wan's naked arms made funny things to her insides. Not a good time; she chided herself and trudged on determinedly.
The problem was that not looking at him didn't mean that her senses were not in overdrive. At the Temple and even on missions, Obi-Wan was the paragon of cleanness, always well-dressed and well-set. And although she could always feel him with her acute sense of smell, even through the scent of soap surrounding him, it was always faint, easy to ignore. But here, in the humid weather, all she could smell was him.
It was intoxicating, and an involuntary growl broke free from deep within her.
"Hey," Obi-Wan appeared right behind her and put a hand on her arm, which, no doubt, was meant to be comforting, but all it managed to accomplish was to make her tense up. "It's all right," he started carefully. He could probably feel her unexpected reaction to his touch. "I know it's unnerving, but I'm sure we'll get out of here soon enough."
"I know," she gave him a small, grateful smile. "I'm just... frustrated." That was half the truth, at least. With the Force so out of reach for some reason, she found it increasingly difficult to keep her Togruta instincts in check. It'd been only a day, and she was already sure that if they didn't get off this planet soon enough, things would get out of hand.
Sleep, eat, walk, and walk some more.
That was how the following couple of days were spent.
It was nice spending some time with Shaak and bonding after the recent developments in their relationship. But Obi-Wan was starting to smell really bad, and he worried that he would scare her off shortly if he couldn't clean up. At that point, he was pretty sure that a bantha was smelling better than him. And Togrutas had very sensitive noses. No wonder she was always walking in front of him. He would gladly do so, too, if he could.
Although she still willingly melted into his arms at night, he could feel her keep her distance during the day. She was increasingly withdrawn and acting out of character for her, which worried him. She was one of the most focused and collected Jedi he knew. There was not much that could disturb her carefully maintained composure. Here, however, she seemed all over the place. Sometimes, she was fidgety, deconcentrated, and even nervous. Other times, she was as serene as ever. At one moment, she was open and receptive to his company; at the other, she was completely closed off.
He was at a loss as to how to handle her mood swings. But he would try. If there was something he was sure about, it was that he would always try… because there was nothing more rewarding than when she was looking at him with an open, happy expression.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he practically bumped into her when she suddenly stopped.
"What is it?" he asked, holding her from behind.
"Water," she told him, hardly perceptively pressing into his body. "I can smell it." She said, straightening abruptly. "Come," she told him and practically shot out toward the water, leaving Obi-Wan missing her warmth.
By the time he caught up with her, she'd already shed her outer garments and stood by a pool of crystal-clear water in her undergarments. The sight of her made Obi-Wan stop for a moment. She was a vision. Then she threw his speechless self an enticing look over her shoulder and climbed into the pool.
When Obi-Wan managed to gather his wits, he got out of his filthy clothes as well and followed her. His tired muscles sighed in relief as the surprisingly warm water engulfed them, and he let out a groan of pleasure. The look Shaak gave him made him want to groan again, but she was quick to divert her eyes, and Obi-Wan managed to swallow that groan.
After a while, it seemed that the warm water managed to soothe away some of Shaak's tension as well, and after a short time, they were bantering in the warm water as if they'd been on vacation. And when Shaak playfully splashed him in the face, Obi-Wan didn't hesitate to retaliate. They ended up in each other's arms, breathless after their playful wrestling and merry laughter, and staring into her beautiful grey eyes, Obi-Wan knew that there was no more wonderful woman in the galaxy than the Togruta in his arms.
Still in awe, he reached up to caress her face, the marking around her eyes, her grey lips, her lek... and suddenly, with a shiver that jerked her whole body, she was kissing him.
Holding her for the first time when she wore so little and even that clung to her body, Obi-Wan had the opportunity to appreciate her lithe body. She was firm under his hands, all taut muscle. She was lethal; he had always known that, but feeling that her whole body was indeed made to kill brought this point home to him with instant clarity. And this realization was a huge turn-on, Obi-Wan realized.
He pulled her closer, grinding his hips into her as if on instinct. The moment broke when he felt her tense up at the contact, and his hold instantly loosened on her.
She gently pushed away. "We should go," she said in a low voice, putting some distance between them.
"Yes," Obi-Wan breathed regretfully. He wanted to apologize for his lack of control, but Shaak was already halfway out of the pool. He sighed and dived under the water to allow himself a moment to collect himself and his self-control. Then he followed her.
To his relief, there was no reproach on Shaak's face when he joined her. She only seemed subdued as she tried to dry herself.
They thought about washing their clothes, but there was little hope of them drying in the humid weather, so, with great displeasure, they were forced to get into them once again.
They settled down for what went for night for them, and Shaak meditated while Obi-Wan prepared dinner. Dinner was a silent affair, but no awkwardness hung in the air. Obi-Wan was grateful for that. They discussed the possibility of climbing one of the trees, seeing whether they could reach high enough for a signal. It was a long shot, but they knew that they should at least try.
"Here," Shaak held the remnants of her food, offering it to Obi-Wan. "I know you are giving me yours."
"You should eat more."
"I won't eat your rations. I will manage."
"Shaak. Even with that," he indicated the food in the bowl, "you are eating less than you should. I can do without it. And I actually like those fruity things we found yesterday."
"I can eat that, too," she insisted.
"I heard you heave them up afterward," he let her know with a level stare. She tried to hide it, but he heard it anyway.
"I didn't sit well with my stomachs." At her admission, he gently pushed the bowl to her. "I don't want to eat your food."
"Please."
She huffed but inhaled the food without further protest.
"Thank you," Obi-Wan smiled, satisfied when she finished.
"Thank you."
As he lay awake later at night, Shaak sleeping fitfully by his side, he watched her with a worried frown. Her emotional state troubled him, and as he heard her stomachs grumble, he knew that her physical state would suffer as well if they didn't find a way to send that signal. He pulled her closer, trying to soothe away some of her discomfort.
She wasn't feeling good.
It was helping somewhat that they were finally leaving behind the densest part of the forest, and slowly, life began to stir in the friendlier environment, but her connection to the Force was still too weak. She was getting more and more exhausted, both mentally and physically.
Her stomachs grumbled unhappily, and she threw a worried glance in Obi-Wan's direction. He was adoringly concerned about her, but there was little he could do to help.
Soon, they could try to climb another tree and see whether they could get through its thick foliage, which they had failed to do deeper in the forest.
If they could get off this planet within a couple of days, it wouldn't be too soon.
It had been more than a standard week, maybe coming on two and being cut off from the Force, even if only partially, was wreaking havoc on her body. The instincts that were her species' own and which she surpassed with the help of the Force were coming to the surface, and she could feel them breaking free. She was becoming unhinged. How could her brethren live like this?
She was well-equipped to make use of her instincts that complemented her strength in the Force. She was, however, completely unprepared to deal with those ones, which had nothing to do with her being a Jedi, like the sudden and all-consuming urge to mate.
She knew she was in love with Obi-Wan, but now, even though she had her fair share of escapades, she knew that if she ever got intimate with Obi-Wan, it would be the end of it all. She had chosen her mate, and, as a Togruta, it was for life. She knew that it wasn't fair on Obi-Wan. It would have been so much easier if her instincts had remained dormant and being with her hadn't come with a lifetime commitment.
She pushed that thought deep down and tried to center herself, even managing a sincere smile when Obi-Wan offered her one. He was so unfairly wonderful. He was patient beyond measure even though he'd have every right to demand an explanation for her erratic behavior. Just like the other night – two or three nights ago, it was hard to keep track in the always gloomy forest – when she almost gave in to her lust. He wanted her; it would have been hard not to notice. And she was willing, too. If only her kriffing urges hadn't made everything so complicated.
She hastily climbed off him and stalked away in the dark forest, stopping far away and howling her frustration into the silent gloom. That was a very long and uncomfortable night for both of them.
In retrospect, she realized that she had been in denial. She still was. She could have talked to Obi-Wan. She probably should. At the same time, she shouldn't be so out of control of her feelings. She was a Jedi, after all. She had spent her entire life learning to control her emotions. This case shouldn't be any different.
She thought that she was coping as well as she could under the circumstances when a sudden movement caught her eyes in the underbrush, and her senses went into overdrive. She pounced before her mind could have caught up with her movements. She was quick, and the small rodent-like creature had no chance of escape. It was in her hands within moments, and her sharp teeth and strong jaws closed around its small body. Through her feral growl, she could hear the satisfying snap of the creature's neck.
As warm blood reached her tongue, she lost all control and tore on the flesh with hunger. Soon, small bones were crushed between her teeth, and she savored the taste of flesh as she swallowed. She was so hungry.
When she was done and not much remained of the creature, her eyes scanned her surroundings, ready to pounce again. So, when a small twig snapped nearby, her head shot in the direction of the noise... and she froze. Her mind slowly clearing, she gulped and suddenly found it really difficult to keep the consumed meat down. What had she done?
Obi-Wan was standing just mere meters away from her, eyes big and an unreadable expression on his face.
At that moment, she was sure that she would have rather starved to death than have Obi-Wan see her succumbing to her feral instincts. She averted her eyes in shame, and when they fell on her bloody hands, she almost heaved up her food. She controlled herself, though, and with as much dignity as she could muster, she stood and walked away.
He had no idea what was going on with the planet, but it was starting to wreak havoc with their mental state. He'd already been worried about Shaak, but he seemed to be losing it, too. Or, maybe it wasn't the planet in his case. The always-composed Master Ti was behaving exceedingly erratically, and he had a hard time keeping up with her. One time, she was subdued and kept her distance; others, she could awaken such feelings in him he didn't know he was capable of.
He was willing to endure all that. He knew that being cut off from the Force genuinely disturbed her, just like the unnaturally silent forest. And she was hungry as well. It would make anybody act erratically. That was okay.
What was not okay was the feeling that stirred within him at the sight of her hunting instinct awakened. The strength and the brutality of the act he had witnessed and the pure pleasure on her face while she devoured that creature brought to life such primitive want in him that still made him feel uncomfortable and dirty. The woman was starving and just wanted to survive, yet the only thought that came to his mind as he watched her was how much he wanted to press her against one of the large trees and take her right there and then.
Fortunately, she left as soon as she realized that he had witnessed the whole thing. And he wondered whether she could tell his thoughts.
Whether she could or could not, she'd been keeping her distance ever since. During the day, she walked alone, Obi-Wan trailing behind uncertainly, and at night, they tried to find warmth under their own thermoblanket separately.
The relief he felt when he glanced blue sky for the first time in weeks was profound. Shaak took it in stride. She seemed to have closed off completely. That one-and-a-half day they were forced to wait after the distress signal went out was the longest of his life. The silence between him and Shaak was more deafening than the one in the dense forest.
"Shaak," he said gently and watched as the woman closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We need to talk." She indicated the seat next to her, giving him permission to sit. He did so, and long silence settled on them. "So," he started at last. "You seem to be avoiding me." He really had no idea how to broach the subject. Ever since their return, Shaak had been withdrawn, and where she had previously sought out his company, she was now avoiding him.
"I do," she acknowledged with a bow of her head. "I am sorry."
"Why?" She looked at him as if he had grown another head. "Is it because of what happened on the planet?" She turned away. That was answer enough, and it twisted his heart. "Shaak... I'm sorry if I was too forward... if you felt that I pushed for something you did not wish. I am genuinely sorry."
"What?" she breathed, and it was hard to miss the shock in her voice.
"What?"
"Obi-Wan, if anybody needs to apologize here, it is me."
"I don't understand."
"I had a hard time on the planet," she admitted with a heavy sigh. "There is a big part of me that I keep under control with the help of the Force. That control had slipped on the planet, and I was struggling to regain it while, at the same time, trying to come to terms with who I was becoming without that control. That day... when I... I completely lost control. I am so ashamed."
Oh...
"Oh, Shaak. You can't possibly think that I would judge you for that." He was so focused on his own shame that he failed to recognize the real nature of her struggle. "You survived," he corrected her. "There is nothing shameful in that."
"It was only the last straw, but when I saw your face when, for the first time, you realized just what kind of a woman you promised your heart to, it horrified me. I scared you, and it terrifies me."
"You don't think that I am well aware of just what kind of a woman I gave my heart to?" he asked in a gentle tone, reaching out to turn her face toward him. "Your instincts are strong. You are Togruta. You are a hunter by nature." He ran his hand over the teeth adorning her head. "Nobody can ask you to deny that part of you."
"But the look you gave me..."
"I was surprised; that is true. But as you can't deny your instincts, I can't deny that you called to a baser part of me." She tilted her head inquisitively, prompting him to elaborate. He gulped but trudged on. "I saw you; you are right. You are strong, capable... dangerous. Those are qualities I really... appreciate in a woman." Force, his face was on fire.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi! Are you telling me that you were turned on?"
He nodded. "You see, if anybody should be ashamed, it is me. That was a completely inappropriate reaction."
"Quite a couple we make," she smiled.
"Savages, the both of us," he shook his head playfully and was relieved when Shaak shared the sentiment, bumping her shoulder to his. "Please," he started after a while, in a more serious tone, "do not run from me when something bothers you. I love you, and you cannot do anything that will change that. I will always love you."
His confession made her freeze, he could clearly see that, just as he could see how her eyes darkened just before she turned away from him.
"I have to go," she said, standing up abruptly and leaving. Obi-Wan was at a loss for what to do. He was so sure that they were on the same page. He stood as well, panic taking over his previously hopeful heart. "Shaak, please," he started, ready to plead his case or just to let her know that he didn't want to push her.
He did not have the chance, though, as Shaak turned and asked in a clipped tone, "Are you coming?"
He was walking before his brain could decide to move.
She only let herself a moment after the door swished closed behind them in her quarters before she took a deep breath and turned to Obi-Wan.
"I am sorry," she started as she turned. Obi-Wan was really not making it easy for her to focus. And his previous confession just made things so much more difficult. She wanted to claim him as her own. But there were things that had to be said first.
"Shaak," He started in a gentle tone. For some reason, he suddenly seemed sad. "It is all right. I don't expect anything from you. I just wanted you to know that no matter what, I'll be there for you. In whatever capacity you want me," he added.
Oh, comprehension downed on Shaak as she watched Obi-Wan struggle with perceived rejection and still being his wonderful self.
"No," she contradicted him. "I'm not sorry for that." That made his face visibly fall. That was not what she meant. "I'm sorry," she started, then stopped, shaking her head. "Let me explain."
He nodded wordlessly.
"I have still trouble connecting to the Force," she admitted, finding it difficult to concentrate. "That was why I couldn't control myself when I hunted down that creature. I have fallen back on my baser instincts... and I do not only mean survival and hunting." She gave him a meaningful look. "When I said that I was sorry, I meant for being a mess."
"You are an adorable mess," Obi-Wan supplied as if unable to help himself.
"Not helping," she almost groaned.
"Sorry." He cast down his eyes with a half-smile.
"What I want to say is that," she took another steadying breath before looking him dead in the eye, "you triggered my mating instincts, Obi-Wan."
There was a beat of silence before a half-smile tugged at his lips again.
"So, you got turned on, too," Obi-Wan chuckled.
"No," she denied, then stopped. "Yes," she allowed. "But it's not that simple."
"All right," Obi-Wan shifted. The poor man was so patient with her.
"As a Togruta, I can leave my life as I want. I can get intimate with men and then move on. But once in the life of every Togruta, there comes a moment when everything changes... when fleeting pleasure doesn't make it anymore… when a Togruta finds their mate. This is when the mating instinct is triggered. When living in a Togruta community, it is usually rather straightforward since the attraction is mutual." He was giving her his rapt attention. "When this happens, a Togruta claims their mate, and it is for life." She took a deep breath and looked at the man with a loaded expression. "I just thought that you should know this before anything gets more serious."
After her admission, silence settled in the room.
Then Obi-Wan walked up to her with a solemn expression on his face.
"That was why you fled every time things got a little heated?" he asked with a wry smile.
"It would have been so easy," she sighed, "if my urges remained dormant. But with my mating instinct raging, it wouldn't have been fair. Not to you. And not to me. It still is not," she almost whined from the frustration she felt, and let her head fell against Obi-Wan's chest.
They remained like that for some time. She finally could feel Obi-Wan lifting a hand and gently running it over her lek. She shivered, and he quickly withdrew. She wanted to cry.
"Well, there is nothing for it," he whispered, gently lifting her head to make her look at him. His expression was open as he caressed her cheek with his knuckles, avoiding her lek this time. "I have already admitted my undying love for you. We may as well make it official."
"I don't want to force you..." Her protest was silenced by a finger on her lips.
"It's like getting married, right?" She nodded. "Then, if you are willing, I am definitely willing. If Anakin can do it, I certainly won't deny myself the pleasure." They shared a small chuckle at that. "Claim me, and I'm yours. I love you."
"I love you, too."
And she knew that it was for life.
THE END
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