to speak without sound

rating: M

warnings: violence, maybe profanity

everything from naruto rightfully belongs to masashi kishimoto.

…

01

Naruto was feeling terrible. He had just gotten released from Konoha's hospital a day ago and was forced to stay away from taking on missions or training for a few days. Once Naruto was allowed to return to training, he sluggishly arrived at Team 7's normal spot. Kakashi noticed him dragging himself across the dirt to them and clasped his hands together, then walking towards Naruto.

"How are you feeling?" Kakashi asked him, but his face went up in realization, and he shook his head. "Ah–Never mind that." He looked at the bandages around Naruto's neck. The blonde felt the urge to tug at the bandages in discomfort. "Come on, Naruto," Kakashi walked over to the rest of their team where they were throwing Kunai in various wood poles. Well, Sasuke was. Sakura just stood there with her hands crossed, admiring Sasuke like she normally did. The two stopped their activities when they noticed Kakashi come around, as well as Naruto stalking closely behind him.

"Naruto!" Sakura lunged over, reaching for a hug. "I was so worried–" Naruto shook off her arms, which was pretty unlike him. He felt uncomfortable. He wanted to escape, and worse, he couldn't say anything about it. He then tried to cover up the slightly stained bandages around his neck with his shirt collar. Sakura was oblivious to this, but Sasuke, being the keen child he was, noticed Naruto hiding something. To this, Kakashi noticed Sasuke's concern and stood in front of Naruto with an anxious look on his face.

Although everyone knew what happened that day, and were quite… disturbed about it, where the memory was perhaps burned into their retina, Sakura still asked Naruto the pressing question–

"What happened? Are you alright?"

Naruto only opened his mouth for a second, before closing it. It was impossible to tell her. So, Kakashi spoke up for him.

"Well, you see... Naruto's–vocal cords were ruptured, so he cannot speak for a while–It is not decided whether he will ever be able to speak again." Sakura and Sasuke's eyes went wide in surprise. Naruto wanted to act tough, shake it off, it was no deal, but there was no hiding it then. He felt himself sweat, after Kakashi said, It is not decided whether he will ever be able to speak again. Naruto… couldn't live like that. He had to speak, it was his love language, his heart, his passion– "I apologize, you three." Kakashi mumbled, but they all heard him. Naruto felt something warm rise in his eyes as he struggled to breathe once more like that day.

"Oh, Naruto…" Sakura leaned in close to hug the blonde reassuringly. Even though she wouldn't consider calling Naruto a friend, and sometimes he was annoying, it broke her heart that someone so compassionate as him would have a fate like this. Sasuke just stood in the background with his head down. He felt a little sad about this but kept quiet.

All four of them would never forget what happened that day when they were supposedly assigned a C-rank mission. As if they thought everything would go well, since it was easy, but it was everything the opposite.

…

Naruto wanted to scream. He tried to get a sound out of his mouth but it felt so rough and it hurt really badly. He lay on the ground with his legs curled up in front of him with his hands clutching his neck in pain. He tried not to squeeze his fingers, because every time he accidentally did, blood pooled out and he felt a sharp feeling that made him gutt out blood from his mouth. He wanted to scream for help so much, but he was practically lost. He couldn't help anymore, and nobody was there to help him. He shouldn't have taken that kunai out from his neck. It made him hurt more.

Was Naruto dying? He felt like it. He didn't want to, but at the same time, he kind of did. Even with himself normally healing quite fast for a genin, he wasn't healing now. In fact, he was probably hurting faster than his healing process. He just lay there in writhing pain, slowly bleeding out to death. Nobody would have been there to save him. He couldn't breathe very well. He couldn't breathe. It hurt–It hurt terribly. Horribly. Tremendously. Naruto was dying.

He could not move even for a second, his legs were still, and his arms lay limp against his body after he'd stopped holding his neck to prevent any more blood from spilling out of his neck and mouth. His throat was also dry but was coated with blood that was thick and salty, it made him want to puke. Never had Naruto experienced something like this. He had been in life-death situations, but he was never stranded alone like this. His neck was never torn apart.

Vomit began to rise to the top of his throat and into his mouth, but he swallowed it back down. It tasted morbid. Like a mix of different flavors and foods all combined into a very soupy texture. Even if he swallowed the puke back down his throat, he had the urge to just let it all out, although there was a high chance blood would follow, and he'd probably... die.

But he was a monster anyway, so why would it matter? Konoha would have much rather had Naruto dead in the first place, and he never knew why. He wasn't some monster, he wasn't a demon or anything like that, even if the village portrayed him to be. After finally becoming a Genin, which was the first step to ninja life, he felt at home. He felt happy, and he wanted to prove everyone who had shamed him wrong. Naruto had finally felt like he had friends, someone to rely on–And even if sometimes they got mad at him, it didn't stop him from bouncing back. That was just how Naruto was. But.. he couldn't imagine himself bouncing back now.

He did think that some of his teammates were his friends, even though they probably didn't return those feelings. That one time, when Naruto wanted to obtain Sakura's love and see how she felt for Sasuke, by turning into Sasuke through some jutsu without her knowing–She'd described Naruto as an annoying nuisance that wasn't treated right by his family. Not that he had a family at all, which she should have known, but…

It was right to die. He wasn't going to get anywhere by being a ninja. Everyone hated him, and he couldn't stand it... He didn't understand, he would never, according to Sasuke. He'd rather settle on dying then and there and maybe… If reincarnation was a thing, he could be living a better life, with a family, friends, and a village that liked him. Naruto's vision went blurry for an instant, as he blinked a few times, before ultimately deciding on his fate, and closing his eyes. He was dying.

No, he was probably already dead by now.

…

"Oh–Oh my god... Eugh.." Sakura whirled around and splattered out a murky yellow substance. Her face was grim and her stomach whirled. She couldn't believe what she had seen. Sakura had gotten separated from Sasuke and Kakashi on their mission, as they were trying to find Naruto, as he had gone missing from the three. The mission was C-rank, but ultimately, they had been tricked into taking some kind of A or S-ranked mission. Sakura was hiding around in the bushes, crawling around to prevent any lurking ninja from seeing her. She was terrified. And as she came to a clearing, where she had thought that she was safe...

She saw Naruto. He was lying, curled up on the ground, dried blood singed the grass. His fingers were colored a deep red, and his neck... Oh… His neck–was hard to see underneath all of the blood, but Sakura could just tell that it was damaged enough. She hesitated to run over, but did anyway, kneeling down to see Naruto's eyes closed and his stomach rising, but not fast enough. She felt tears pool in her eyes. Even though she had accepted her life as a Kunoichi, she wouldn't back down–It was too much for her. She was barely even strong enough to be in Team 7, and she couldn't even bear to see her teammates hurt, even a scratch.

"Naruto, wake up–!" She shook him multiple times, but as she did, blood spurted out of Naruto's mouth and trickled down his chin. She stopped shaking him immediately. She trembled as she leaned over Naruto to further inspect his injuries. She didn't care at that point whether there were ninjas that could be watching her. She had to get help since she wasn't going to be able to help Naruto by herself. And with one huge breath of air, she screamed.

"HEEEEELP!!!!!" She lurched her head upward, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her voice echoed through the trees. She tried again. "HELP ME!!!! SOMEONE!!!" It was no use–but she couldn't back down there–she couldn't make herself out to be useless. "PLEASE…SOMEONE HELP!" She held her head low again, sobbing. What was she going to do?

"Help….Naruto…"

"Sakura!" She heard Kakashi yell. Sakura immediately sat up and looked around. Kakashi and Sasuke were rushing towards her, and then–They both saw Naruto. Sakura tried to wipe her tears but they kept streaming out. "Oh–Thank god…" She got up and stepped backward to let Kakashi look at Naruto. Sasuke was backed up onto a tree. His stomach whirled. Why did that scene–Of Naruto lying there, remind him of what happened to his family? He put a hand on his forehead and tried to forget it. But the memory was burned into his eyes, seeing Naruto curled up on the ground with blood all over him. And he'd thought his teammate was strong enough–No–even Sasuke at this time would have not been able to withstand something like this… It brought him to the same realization that he had been spared instead of Naruto, just like how it was with his clan… But as soon as he opened his eyes to look back at the morbid scene, Kakashi was already carrying Naruto in his arms and telling Sakura to follow him. Then Kakashi looked over to Sasuke, which the boy had already assumed the same thing, to follow his sensei, so he did. Trying not to look at the red grass next to him, the three dashed through the woods with Naruto resting in Kakashi's arms.

When they got to Konoha's medic center, the severity of Naruto's wounds was so bad that not even Kakashi could go in the room and check on him. The blinds were closed, and the door was locked and those who had access had to be a doctor with a key.

Sakura felt incredibly bad about this, she felt guilty for not being strong enough to help Naruto. However, she should have gone with Naruto and stayed by his side instead of frolicking with Sasuke because she was so enthralled with him.

On Sasuke's side, he didn't feel particularly guilty, but a tang of annoyance towards himself raised in his heart because he wasn't able to protect his teammates. If he was strong enough to defeat his terrible brother, he would have been able to save Naruto from that event, but he wasn't. Sasuke wasn't strong enough, and he had to get stronger. He felt immense anger boil up inside of him but decided to let it go anyway. He may have wanted to seek revenge for his clan upon his brother, but his sense of caring for both Naruto and Sakura overpowered it at that moment.

how do you like chapter 1? ehehe, here comes the angst... anyway, there's more to come!