Lmao I had to. Slayer's gonna love the Truffle npc lmao

Armour: Victide (Ranger)

Weapon: Mandible Bow (Jester Arrows); Arkhalis

Acc(11/11): Band of Regeneration, Amidas Spark, Sailfish Boots, Luxor's Gift, Aglet, Rover Drive, Crown Jewel, Tsunami in a Bottle, Frog Leg, Aero Stone, Shield of the Ocean

Health: (400/400)

"Heey, Slaayeer?"

His… His eyelids were strangely heavy. Everything felt slow. That droplet of water… for just how long had it been falling? He'd been watching it slowly descend from the cave ceiling for what felt like an eternity. Water was supposed to fall faster, right?

"Ooy… hey maan, whaat's wroong with yoouu?"

Was he awake? Was he alive? When he looked around, he was conscious of the vertebrae in his neck sliding against each other with a muffled, underwater noise. His eyeballs made sucking noises as they swiveled around in their sockets. As the hand on his shoulder shook him back and forth, he felt his innards sloshing to the motion. A familiar, yet long-drawn voice murmured in his ear, but he couldn't for the life of him understand what it was saying.

"Heeey, Are yoouu kidding mee? Slaayer snaap ouut of it!"

Everything was glowing in a fuzzy blue hue. The grass was soft and blobby beneath his feet. The trees were… not trees, but rather tremendous fungal amalgamations, some as tall as he was. They hummed placidly at him, filling the air with sweet powdery spores. As he breathed deeply, he was filled with an overwhelming sense of belonging. He wanted nothing more than to go and embrace those smooth grey stalks.

"Wheere doo yoouu think youu're going?! Geet baack heere!"

The slow, familiar voice called out from behind him. Why was it so frantic? Everything was going to be perfectly fine. His boots cut sharply through the plush, almost fleshy flooring as he stumbled his way toward the grove of fungal trees. He only managed a couple of steps before someone grabbed him by the back of his cuirass and tugged. The pull disturbed his already precarious balance and he collapsed unceremoniously to the floor.

"Slayer."

It took considerable effort to focus his eyesight. Once he did, he recognized the brown-haired man standing over him. He was frowning. There was concern in his eyes.

Guide…?

Yes, The Guide. His friend… He looked unhappy. Why was he unhappy? Perhaps he was still hungry?... Well, if he didn't want to eat cactus, perhaps he'd be satisfied with these sweet smelling fungi. The Terrarian clumsily rolled to his side and reached out towards the nearest glowing mushroom. Just as he was about to grab it, a boot came down on his wrist - pinning it to the floor. He flopped halfheartedly in protest.

"Amazing. You're high as a kite, aren't you?"

He didn't understand. He shut his eyes, pressed his cheek against the plushy ground and groaned something unintelligible. He felt his limbs moving as The Guide grabbed him beneath the arms, and dragged him into a sitting position. His helmet (The Terrarian had forgotten why he had taken it off in the first place) was placed back over his head and fastened into place. A switch was flipped and a low hum reverberated along his mouthpiece - filtering the air.

The Guide patted the top of his head. He sounded amused.

"I guess there's some downsides to having a nose like a bloodhound, eh, Slayer? Tripping from just the spores? If you'd eaten that thing," The Guide pointed at the glowing fungal sprout, "You might've never come back to reality."

...

The moment the helmet went on he felt his head slowly begin to clear. His ears were still stuffed full of cotton; The Guide's voice was coming through muffled. Did… did The Guide want the mushroom sprout? Fine. He once again flopped over and reached out to grab it, only to once more get stomped on.

"Hey! Stop that! Did you hear anything I just said?"

Annoyed, The Guide kicked the mushroom sprout, punting it far out of reach. It snapped at the stem and its glowing cap tumbled down into a nearby pool. As it floated there, The Terrarian stared at it with mounting apprehension. The moment that sprout came loose - a tremor shot down his spine. A familiar feeling broiled in his blood. He… he knew this feeling, and he was not ready to fight. Where was the monster? What sort of creature could it be? He looked around, wincing as the quick movement caused his brain to spin dizzyingly in his skull.

…!

There. On the ceiling! With a painful sucking noise, a tremendous amalgamation of gray fungal matter was slowly detaching itself from the rest of the glowing cave walls. Its massive body pulsed faintly in the darkness; those beady, glowing eyes swiveled in all directions before finally focusing on the two of them. Great, wicked claws twitched into action. Stout, spiny legs creaked and groaned as they carved gouges in the stone. At any given moment, that enormous body would leap from the ceiling - pulverizing whatever it landed on.

…

The Terrarian stared at it with equal parts fear and excitement. He felt his breath grow heady and feverish. He felt his heart tremble against his ribcage. How… how was he supposed to fight like this? He still felt sluggish, weak and numb; his limbs were heavy and unresponsive. His mind was clearing, but not quickly enough. He struggled to stand, scrabbling at whatever could offer him support. He snagged The Guide by the belt and used his companion as leverage to drag himself to his feet.

"Whoa! You alright, buddy? Bad Trip?"

The Guide helped him up and patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. Clearly, he wasn't aware of the danger they were in. The Terrarian shoved him off, and summoned his weapons. He opened his mouth to warn his companion, nearly biting his tongue off trying to get the words out.

"Gu...Guide. R-run."

"Huh? Wha-"

*Boooom*

It was late; the nighttime was inching into morning. The sky was dark, the air was cool, nothing stirred in the compound… aside for the hushed conversation taking place in the sitting room of house #3.

"You're fucking kidding me... The Resistance imprisoned you after you helped them for so long?! How could they do that?!"

The Nurse was incredulous. Nobody talked about The Resistance in the Capital City. That bastard Tyrant had listening devices everywhere. The moment you uttered the name 'Braelor' you'd find yourself strapped to a table in some dank dungeon, praying you'd survive the 'interrogation'.

Of course, nobody survives the King's interrogation…

And so, tales of The Resistance - that force in the Northern Mountains which sought to dethrone The King - spread like fairy tales. Stories that were muttered from mouth to ear, growing more wild and glamorous with each iteration. 'Lord Braelor the wise led his motley band of noble fighters through the mountains, bravely freeing captives and defending villages from The King's wicked forces'. That is what The Nurse had heard… of course, she knew rumors couldn't ever be accurate, but The Arms Dealer was testifying to something very, very different.

"How? Ah, Miss Nurse… I'm not sure what you've been hearing about The Resistance, but it ain't sunshine and rainbows up North. Sometimes I sit back and wonder which one of these warlords is more brutal."

The Arms Dealer scratched the back of his head and sighed, his brows furrowed in distress. It was obvious that the current topic caused him a certain amount of heartache, but The Nurse was far too curious to let it go. After all, this was the first time she had met a real Resistance member, men and women who were brave and selfless enough to stand against The King's overwhelming power.

"Braelor's a skilled leader. Sharp as a tack. Nothing gets past him. I trafficked weapons for him for the past ten years according to my contract… but once it ended, I wanted out. The fighting was getting hotter by the day, and I'd already earned enough to retire on..."

He shook his head. His voice reverberated from deep in his chest as he recounted the events of his betrayal.

"I… really should've known better. The contract was 10 years because nobody survived 10 years; I was expected to die on the job and take Resistance secrets with me to the grave. Braelor couldn't have someone who knew all their safe houses, trade routes, everything, lounging unattended on a beach somewhere. What if Yharim found me? I was a security breach. A liability."

He reached across the table to pour himself another cup of tea.

"So… they were going to kill me. I can't forget the feeling of my throat on that chopping block… At the last moment, one of my buddies pulled through and convinced them to jail me instead. I spent two years in that prison before Yharim's army came through and threw the place into chaos. I managed to escape, and now, I'm here."

He offered a sad smile and took a sip of his tea. The Nurse rested her chin on her hand and sighed. She… was never really involved with politics. She was a Nurse. She hardly had enough time to sleep, much less read the newspapers. Yet as somebody who traversed in the upper echelons of the Kingdom, all sorts of horrid rumors of The Tyrant reached her ears. All sorts of massacres. All sorts of betrayals… and the great fire that broke out in her hometown which decimated the population? That was Yharim's doing as well.

Mom and Dad… haaah… I hope you found your damn spy, Yharim...

And so, when she heard whispers of The Resistance - that virtuous and noble band of warriors who sought to free the people of The Tyrant's shackles, she was far too eager to cling to that delicate hope. Perhaps they would win, and change everything! It was a fairytale. A pipe dream. She knew it… but she believed it anyways.

And now, The Arms Dealer was shattering her fragile fantasy. She had invited him in to treat his wounds (she actually just wanted to look at his veins; they didn't disappoint), and he turned out to be friendly and easy to talk to. Although the slang he used was sometimes unintelligible - expected, as their upbringings were far too different - she had to admit, she greatly enjoyed his company. It helped that he was smolderingly attractive. He was also the optimistic, honest type. Exactly her type.

Fuck...

That's why it hurt so much. With a sincere heart, he'd snapped that tiny strand of hope within her… a hope for a better world. If Braelor was just as brutal as Yharim was, then what was there to look forward to? It was just one regime against another. Two warlords at each other's throats. Perhaps one had more noble ideals than the other (not difficult, Yharim seemed to lack ideals alltogether), but would it really make a difference? She sighed and pressed her palms over her eyes.

Dammit… You knew this was all bullshit to begin with. Why the fuck did you even ask… what did you expect?

The Arms Dealer seemed to faintly understand what she was struggling with. He stood from his end of the table and walked over to sit beside her. He refilled her teacup. His words were far less harsh than hers.

"I'm sorry, Miss Nurse. War… it's always an ugly thing. From afar, it's easy to define one as good, the other as evil, but reality is far more brutal. It must've been hard for you at The Capital."

She gritted her teeth and offered the curtest of nods, but didn't raise her eyes. She knew how pathetic she must look. This man had just escaped with his life from a lifetime of unjust imprisonment at the hands of her fairytale heroes… and here she was, mourning the death of her fantasy. Agh…

She heard the springs in the couch creak as The Arms Dealer began to stand - supposedly to return to his end of the coffee table. She… she didn't want him to go. His presence was somehow warm and comforting and she didn't want to be left alone. Perhaps by instinct, she reached out and snagged his sleeve. He froze

She kept her eyes covered as she stuttered her request.

"If you'd stay… for just… a moment…"

The Arms Dealer made a muffled, surprised noise. There was a long moment when nobody moved. The only sound was that of the crackling of the fireplace and the soft huffs of their breathing. Finally, he sat down and folded her hand in his, letting her squeeze his fingers and rub his callouses. She could feel him smiling as he squeezed her back.

"Of course, Miss Nurse."

Nurse: Your arm please~

Dealer: N-nurse, what is that?! Is it supposed to be glowing green?

N: Don't be a little bitch and let me inject you.

N: Deaaaler! It's saaafee! Come baaack!

BIG KECKS. Notes: 1) The Victide armour is amphibian and gives certain advantages for being submerged in water. It prolly has some similarity to a scuba suit w/ air filter. 2) Guide punted the Decapodita Sprout - Crabulon Summoning item. 3) Sorry for Politics. Pretty much all I wanted to convey is Some Char building for Arms Dealer. Arms Dealer x Nurse, and Yharim vs Braelor (Resistance). Neither are particularly virtuous. 4) Nurse's syringes are full of a weird Green liquid. Don't worry Dealer lol.

Thanks for your reviews! much love