Thank you thank you for all of the reviews and messages about this story! I feel bad it has so much angst, especially after such an angsty fic last time w/ The Hurt in the Words. Your encouragement and love for this story means the world. I feel like a broken record but sorry for the delay. Without further ado…

Chapter 12

Brennan was growing aggravated. Her fans were unusually attentive this evening. She couldn't see her friends amongst the throng of people throwing their books her way, their pens, and their hands – trying to touch her hair, her clothes, her. And to top it all off, Sandra Baker from the local news was trying to capture this unorganized mayhem for the evening news it seemed.

What on earth was so exciting about this particular crowd, she had no idea. But she found that publicity tended to lead to a spike in her sales, so her publicist, Katia, was trying to accommodate the news at all costs.

And Brennan didn't mind a spike in her sales, honestly. It was good for her, the publisher, Katia… it was just good overall, but… she just wanted to be home. She'd hoped, earlier, that this signing would be a good distraction. Booth was at his rehearsal dinner. With his real family. And his future family. And she had this commitment and she'd been thankful for it honestly. But now… she wished she was home. Alone. She wished she could give into the myriad feelings coursing through her. She'd been trying to keep all of these feelings at bay with distractions.

She'd spent the past two days in limbo, since returning. She'd had that date with Jake. This signing. But it was no use.

Every time she closed her eyes, she could feel Booth's lips on hers. Gentle, kind… and she could feel his breath catch, his pulse race, his breathing grow labored as her hands held on and she kissed him back. That kiss goodbye had wreaked havoc on her. She thought she felt… emotion… in his kiss. And dammit it was a good kiss. And unbelievable kiss.

It was the best kiss she had ever had, this kiss she hadn't wanted. It was unwelcome, but she gave into it. For their cover. Their undercover narrative. She pretended to be Roxie, but in that moment, she was Temperance Brennan and she was kissing Seeley Booth. In that moment, she gave into the longing that was breaking her heart and let her heart find home for a moment. And that's what it had felt like! Finding home, after years and years of searching alone.

And then it was over.

And they finished their work.

And they drove back to this life. Where she signed books and he felt love for someone else, and prepared to marry her, surrounded by people that were…

God, she wasn't even welcome in an event that was meant for the couple's nearest and dearest. She'd fallen so far. And this distraction wasn't working.

Her heart hammered as people grasped her sleeves, even touched her hair. She closed her eyes and willed the tears she felt coming not to fall.

She just wished she was home.

B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B**B*B*B

"And so, we're getting ready to celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary. But not before our Hannah ties the knot!" Prudence said, giggling, holding onto her daughter's arm.

Hannah beamed at her mom as Booth let out a low breath, almost a sigh. Her family was nice. Really nice. They were very… normal. Stable. They worried about Hannah's job and some of the dangers of it. They fawned over her. In getting to know them and her sister, he was starting to piece together a bit more about her.

She had been a cheerleader in high school. She'd been popular. Confident. She had grown up with money. Went to a great college for journalism. She'd planned to change the world and her family was that family – the one that probably threw her a huge graduation party and made sure she understood that no matter what, she was loved and she had a place to come back to, if she ever needed it.

Her sister was a bit spoiled. Hannah was definitely more of a fend-for-yourself kind of woman by comparison – but it was becoming more and more obvious that she was used to getting what she wanted, too. She just didn't demand it the way Liana did.

All his life, he'd been searching for something safe and reliable, constant, strong… a family like this, this was good for him. It was good for Parker. It was the most normal family he'd probably ever met. The course they were on was hitting all the regular beats – proposal, engagement party, rehearsal dinner… then marriage.

Kids.

He wanted more kids. He'd always known that. Something about Hannah had always made him think she was too fiercely independent for settling down but ever since he popped the question, someone very traditional seemed to be surprising him.

And… he liked traditional. He was always spouting about love everlasting, family – hell, this whole thing had started because he wanted to settle down and have someone thirty years down the line. Forty years. Fifty years.

He looked at Hannah's mom and dad – coming up on thirty years and looking truly blissful. Their daughter, right now, had that same kind of light in her eyes.

So what was wrong with him? Because something had to be! This was everything he ever wanted and it was right here. Why did his gut feel ice cold?

Why couldn't he catch that breath? He was actually breathing okay tonight. But… not like normal.

"I'm going to grab a beer," Jared said, breaking him from his thoughts. "Want one?"

"I'll uh… I'll go with you," Booth said, following his brother toward the bar.

When they got to the bar, Jared looked at his brother and waited until Booth met his eyes. "What?"

Jared shrugged. "You don't seem like yourself tonight. Is everything okay?"

Booth put a hand through his hair. "I'm fine," he said quietly.

Jared smiled like he knew better and that just annoyed Booth. "What?" he repeated.

Jared stared at him long and hard and finally shook his head. "Can I venture a guess about what I think is going on with you?"

Booth smiled now, because there was no way on earth Jared could ever begin to understand the way Booth was feeling enough to put it into words. Hell, he could barely understand any of it himself. But the words "cold feet" seemed apropos – it was obviously what happened to all men days before their wedding. This wasn't a drama like Jared inevitably thought. It was life. And it was what people who dealt with who didn't just live on the breeze without a care in the world, like Jared. "Go for it, little brother."

Jared lifted his eyebrows. "Two years ago, you were talking about Christmas with me and said you had to stop at the store to get a few little gifts for, and I quote, 'your people.' So I asked… who are your people? Did you join a tribe? A cult? I wasn't sure what I was dealing with. And you said the squints. That they were your people… your family."

Something tightened in Booth's stomach amidst his growing irritation. Where the hell was Jared going with this line of thinking. "What are you talking about?"

"Your family," Jared said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Where are they?" He looked around, sarcasm in his expression. "I see our family. But these people who you'd die for… your words, another time they came up in conversation, by the way… your unique family – I don't see one person here."

Booth sighed. "We decided to keep it small. Just immediate family."

Jared laughed.

"What?" Now Booth wanted to punch his brother. Anger – though he didn't understand why – was coursing through his veins.

"Look, Seeley, that's great. If that's what you honestly believe, then great. You're doing a great job moving into your new life and it's clear to me what that new life will look like. And I think it's clear to you, too, and maybe you're having a little bit of trouble with that fact."

Booth had no words, but the breaths were coming fast now. The bartender handed them their beers. Jared grabbed his. Booth didn't.

"Seeley… you see me once a year. Maybe. Sometimes less. These 'people'… you're with them sometimes every single day of the week, all year long. Maybe a few days off here and there. They have saved your life. You've saved theirs. You've spent holidays with them. And created, from what I was able to piece together over the years, a family out of friendship."

"I told them we were keeping it small. They understood. They… they know what they mean to me."

"Do they?"

Booth took a deep breath and closed his eyes, everything crashing over him all at once.

"What is it?" Jared asked and when Booth opened his eyes, he didn't find that look of accusation anymore. He found… compassion.

"It's complicated right now," he admitted quietly. "Bones and I… there's a history. And Hannah's not completely comfortable with—"

"Ah," Jared said, holding a hand up. "Say no more."

Booth shook his head and put his hands on his hips, every emotion about Bones nearly breaking the surface. "I don't want to lose her friendship. Or her partnership. I don't know what to do here… but I can feel everything changing and…" he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I hate it."

"Look, for what it's worth, I think that once you're married and she's happily settled down too – which I think will be really soon – you'll be good to go and the partnership can get back to something like what it used to be. But right now, you're in a transitional phase and those kind of suck."

"What do you mean, you think she's settling down soon?" Now something was gnawing at his insides.

"I told your agent friend, Uh… Agent Roman, I think? I told him to go for it. Guy's been holding a candle for her for years. And… come on, she's gorgeous. I've never seen anyone like her in my life. And it's sad because she seems like she's going through something really hard. So I told him to go for it – it sometimes helps break the ice when a woman is vulnerable, so he had that in his favor. And I think that it's going great from what he tells me. Hell, maybe the next wedding will be theirs."

Before he could stop himself, Booth shoved his brother into the bar. "You did what?"

Jared hit the bar hard and stared at his brother. "What the hell was that for!" His beer was all over his shirt now, the bottle laying on the floor.

"You told him to move in on her because she seems vulnerable? You sent someone her way to, what, get her between the sheets because her guard is down?" He shoved Jared again, his blood boiling.

"He's your friend! You told me he was a good guy!"

Booth had his fist curled and he wanted to hit his brother. His brother was the reason that Jake was suddenly everywhere he turned? Taking Bones on dates and showing up at her place. Damn, after that case, that kiss, her answer to that damn question, that look in her eyes… that broken trust heartbroken look… Jared had been the one sending someone by to move in on her, like her heart and her pain should be someone else's opportunity? He wanted to kill his brother. Dammit, that's what everyone else had ever done to Bones. She'd been sent into foster care as a teen… her teenage experience was a stark contrast to the woman he was marrying… what she'd been through… people took from her and then they moved on. Her professor slept with her… and years later humiliated her in public on trial. People took and took and took what they wanted from her… and then they moved on.

They moved on.

I need to move on.

Hannah was running over now, noticing the commotion at the bar. "Seeley!"

And he had moved on. Leaving Bones behind.

This… all of this… he was leaving her behind. And Bones… she knew it.

But what was he supposed to do? He loved Hannah. None of that had been fake… he loved the woman he was marrying. And he was marrying her! A bunch of people had flown in for this – and they had booked the venue and the honeymoon. He was getting married!

It's what he wanted!

Dammit – he'd offered Bones his heart. He'd been hers for the taking! But she didn't want him!

So he. Moved. On.

"What the hell is going on here?" Hannah said, stepping between Booth and Jared. "Why are you trying to hit your brother?"

"Because I honestly cannot believe him," he said, and that was the truth. He couldn't believe he trusted Jared with his friends and his brother had actually allowed someone to take advantage of his partner. And… didn't he know they had a complex history?

"I can't believe you either," Jared said, meeting his eye. And Booth understood. Jared couldn't believe that he was having this night with family… and his family wasn't there. Why weren't they here? What had he been thinking?

He looked down at Hannah.

He should've fought for them.

He looked at Jared again, but noticed that Jared was looking up at the TV in the bar, while he wiped his shirt with a napkin.

"Dr. Temperance Brennan – do you ever get used to the hype of the launch of a new book? Fans of Andy and Kathy have been anticipating this release for over a year."

His mouth fell open as he saw his partner on the TV surrounded by fans. Lots… lots of fans. A reporter smiled at the camera, but over her shoulder he saw her looking irritated.

She had a new book out? A signing?

Tonight?

Something tightened in his stomach as that feeling escalated tenfold – that feeling that he and his partner were really not the same people they used to be. He'd always used to know about her signings. He often attended them to keep an eye on things. His gut was twisting but Hannah was talking.

"Seeley – it's time for dinner. Do you think that you and your brother can manage to be civil for another hour or two?"

She grabbed onto his shirt, but he stared at the TV, brushing her hand away.

"I do get used to it," Bones said in her raspy voice, though she didn't look up at the reporter. She used a quick, casual self-defense maneuver to smack down the hand of a male admirer and shot him a look that dared him to try again. The man walked away quickly. "My books are quite popular so I have come to expect crowds of diehard fans whenever I do a signing."

The reporter laughed and looked at the camera. "Very modest."

Hannah grumbled, "My thoughts exactly."

He looked down at her. "What did you say?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Seeley, no one has a higher opinion of Temperance than Temperance. That point isn't up for debate because it's basically a fact that anyone who knows her could confirm."

Except… he knew she had insecurities. He knew that behind that confidence was someone who kept so much of her fears buried deep inside.

"Seeley," Hannah said again, beginning to pull on him again. "What are you doing? She's at a book signing. And we are, in case you forgot, in the middle of our rehearsal dinner."

"And she should be here," he said, clenching his jaw. He looked at Hannah then, saw her look of surprise and indignation.

"We talked about this."

He nodded. "Oh, I know we did."

The reporter was talking to someone in line now and something was tugging at the edges of Booth's mind. Where had he seen this guy before?

"Seeley."

"Oh, I can't wait to get my minute alone with the doctor," the guy in line said on the TV. He looked at the camera and suddenly Booth's stomach dropped.

That man…

"Well – you will get a signature," the reporter clarified. "Not alone time with her."

The guy smiled and Booth took a step back. This was the guy who grabbed her the other night. And Bones… she had no idea that he was five people away from the front of the line.

This was the guy who left the restaurant the other night with the threat that this was "not over."

He'd bruised her arm. He'd been aggressive. And… he was right next to her and she had no idea.

"Oh," the guy said in a cocky voice to the reporter. "I'll be getting alone time with her."

Suddenly the camera tilted at a weird angle and the broadcast ended abruptly. Back to the studio. To the news anchors looking at one another, confused.

Booth was long gone before Hannah could mutter the words "rehearsal dinner" one time more.