Wow what a delay- I'm so sorry! I was nearly ready to post this a few weeks ago but needed to finish the last section, but my entire family ended up getting Covid. Argh. We're all well but that was two weeks of laying low and homeschooling again – and not writing, basically. Thank you so much for all the reviews and messages (those inspire me more than I can say)! The nudges make me write, and the PMs as well really mean the world! You guys are honestly the BEST! Enjoy this next installment! – Mac

Chapter 14

Jake pulled into Brennan's apartment complex and stopped, turning off the engine. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" he asked. "The EMTs at the scene said—"

Brennan closed her eyes and fought tears. For some reason, ever since they'd left the bookshop, she felt on the verge of breaking down. And she wanted to be alone for that. "It wasn't a crime scene," she corrected him. "It was my book signing. It was a publicity stunt gone wrong. It wasn't a scene. And I'm fine."

Jake nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay. That's fair. Do you want me to get you anything? You have a concussion. You'll definitely need to manage the pain and –"

"I don't need anything. I have medication here." She moved to get out of his car quickly. When she stood up, she swayed a little, her head throbbing. Before she could get too dizzy, she felt Jake's arm steadying her. He was out of the car, too, and he was now by her side. How had he moved so quickly?

"Temperance," he said softly. He said it again and finally, her eyes met his. "What's wrong?"

"I just need to rest," she said quietly, her voice quivering.

He nodded. "Do you want me to—"

She shook her head. Despite the doctor's advice to maybe have someone keep an eye on her, she refused to have Jake be that someone. He'd just be a reminder that Booth was gone, that he wasn't hers – that she was alone. That someone decent, kind and good looking could be right there, taking care of her and still not be the one thing she knew she needed. Booth.

He sighed. "Okay," he said. "I'm going to walk you upstairs, make sure you get in okay. Okay?"

She looked around and felt once again a bit dizzy and she nodded. That sounded okay. That sounded more than okay.

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Booth walked back into the rehearsal dinner venue with his brother – his fiancée storming in ahead of him. She was mad at him. The whole ride back, all he'd heard was:

It was a PR stunt, Seeley. She was never in any danger!

You left our dinner for another woman – that is basically what my parents and sister think. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is for me?

He'd been in a blind panic when he'd stormed out of the rehearsal dinner, wondering where Bones was, what had happened. From the moment he saw that man's face on the TV screen to the moment he saw his partner was safe, he'd been filled with gut-wrenching fear. His only clear thought was to get to her, to help her – to make sure she was okay. He hadn't thought about running out on Hannah and their special night or her family or his family…

His family…

He'd only cared about making sure Bones was okay. He needed to make sure that Bones was okay.

Was she okay?

He threw a hand through his hair, as worry replaced his fear now. He knew she was safe. But she'd needed someone to take a look at her. Did she actually allow the paramedics to do that? She could be stubborn.

He should've stayed.

Now, he was in a place that he didn't want to be, with yet another person he'd managed to let down tonight. And he couldn't bring himself to apologize to Hannah for how he'd made her feel. Because he wasn't sorry. Not in the least. He was only sorry that he left his partner.

Again.

"Seeley, you okay man?" Jared asked. Booth looked over at him for a moment, finding genuine concern in his eyes.

He nodded. "I don't know," he said quietly. "I don't…. this was… I just don't know."

"Hannah will be fine. She's excited to marry you in a day. She'll be fine. Go and talk to her, kiss and make up. Basically, start acting the role of husband a day early."

Jared laughed as something tightened in Booth's stomach. Because his brother was reminding him that he should be concerned that he'd just massively pissed off his bride-to-be two days before their wedding. But all he could think about was his partner. He felt like he could claw his own skin off with the need to check in on her right now.

When he'd held her, she had held on so tight. Like she'd been scared and felt relieved he was there. She'd held onto him like that before, when she'd been in danger. God, he hated thinking of her in danger and their work made it a possibility more than he liked to think about. This… this had nothing to do with any case. It had all to do with her – with her writing. With her latest novel.

But still.

The fact that she was going to signings without him, hadn't even told him about this event – somehow, he felt like the situation she'd ended up in had everything to do with him. Because if she'd been really hurt… or…

If anything had happened to her…

He never would have forgiven himself.

"Is everything okay here?" Hannah's dad, Lyle, asked, walking over, a stern look on his face. The protective father. The lawyer.

Booth cringed. He really didn't want to deal with any of this right now.

"Everything is fine," he said, aiming to sound calm. "I'm sorry that I ran off."

"Yes," Lyle said. "The lady partner. The one who wore the blue dress the other night."

Something tightened in Booth stomach. He didn't like the tone his future father-in-law was using. "That's right," he said, simply.

Lyle nodded and held Booth's gaze for an interminable moment. "Sounds like a situation that didn't warrant FBI assistance."

Booth looked at the man, leveling his gaze. He said nothing. Because this was his partner. It wasn't about being FBI. It was about being there because it was Bones and he was Booth. He'd do it again. And again. He'd always be there.

Except right now. He wasn't there, was he? And right now… he felt further from her than ever before. But… going to her. Tonight. What he did…

… it was as natural an instinct to him as breathing.

"My daughter loves you. And she was really upset tonight that you did that. Especially since it was not necessary. This was an important night for you both. You're to be her husband."

Booth's heart hitched and his breathing caught – it was doing that thing again. Why couldn't he catch a full breath? Why couldn't he ever catch that breath? He needed air. He needed to get outside. "What are you saying, sir?" he asked, his voice tight.

"That you can't do that anymore."

The man looked over at his daughter, so he turned to look, too. Hannah was talking to her mom, and she still looked visibly upset. Annoyed. Maybe embarrassed. And… was she sad?

He sighed. He didn't mean to hurt her. He hadn't been trying to hurt anyone. It felt like he couldn't do anything right. He tried to keep things normal with Bones with that case and she had to endure one uncomfortable situation after another. He'd been trying to keep them together and it just felt like they were so far apart.

… so far apart.

Why did it feel like that?

And Hannah… he'd been trying to be there for her and somehow none of it mattered. He'd left Bones that night when this weird guy had grabbed her. And tonight, she'd been scared, and she had been hurt! And he'd left her again. He'd tried to be a good partner. And he'd tried to be a good fiancée.

But somehow he had a partner who he knew needed him and he couldn't go to her. That's what Lyle meant. He couldn't do that anymore and my god, he knew it. Bones knew it. And he'd accepted it. Even made it happen.

And Hannah still seemed to think he was coming up short. He'd put her first. Since the moment she came back to DC… hell, since the moment he'd met her, he'd put her first. So why wasn't that enough?

Booth looked back at his future father-in-law, his expression hiding nothing. He felt defeated. "Can't do what anymore? I barely did anything." And that was the truth. He'd rushed to Bones's side only to once again let her watch him leave, watch him choose his new life…

"You did plenty. My daughter cried on the night of her rehearsal dinner. And that was because you ran off to be with another woman—"

"Don't." He looked at the man and took a step closer to him. "Don't do that. Don't make it sound like that – like I did something… something dirty. Because you're talking about my partner and if I think someone is going to hurt her, I will go. Every time. Don't doubt it." He retreated a step, noticing the intimidated look on the older man's face. "I am sorry that my running off upset Hannah. That's all I will say about this."

At that, he turned and walked back over to the dining area. He sat down next to Pops and Jared and put his face in his hands.

"Shrimp," Pops said.

The nickname was so welcome right now. Booth smiled slightly and looked at his grandfather.

"You did the right thing," Pops said, quietly. "I just don't know why you came back."

Booth lifted his eyebrows and looked at his brother, who was also looking at their grandfather. "I had to. This… this was where I was supposed to be tonight."

Pops touched his shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I guess that makes sense if you're an idiot, Shrimp."

Before Booth could ask him what he possibly meant by this not-so-inspiring speech, Hannah's mother tapped her wine glass with a fork and pulled the attention back to Hannah. The dessert was being served. Hannah moved to the chair beside Booth and smiled at him. He knew the smile. It was forgiveness. She wanted to move on from this. She wanted to salvage the night.

She looked so beautiful and hopeful. It was two days to their wedding. She still wanted the happy-ever-after, despite his behavior tonight. She leaned in and kissed him gently.

As Hannah smiled and ate her cake, talking with her sister, Pops leaned over once more.

"When you're where you're supposed to be, everything will feel just like it's supposed to feel."

He turned to fully look at the Booth family patriarch. "What do you mean?" he finally asked.

"Nothing," he said, waving a hand dismissing his own nonsense. "But… when it happens, you won't run off."

"When what happens?"

"You won't," he said, ignoring his grandson's question and the look of utter confusion on his face. "You won't because you'll be exactly where you want to be."

He had no idea what Pops meant but his mind was running. It was all over the place.

The night wore on, and he finally went home, and fell into a fitful sleep, glad to put this day behind him.

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Bones, are you okay? You let the EMTs look at you, right?

Bones – can you call me?

Just let me know that you're okay.

Bones?

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Brennan woke up with a splitting headache. Her head wasn't just throbbing; it felt like someone was cutting through it with a chainsaw. The light glinting in through the blinds was making her ache to the point of nausea. In a flash, her night came back to her, and she remembered she had a moderate concussion.

She stumbled over to her kitchen, where her prescription was laying on the counter. She grabbed two pills and a glass of water and downed them. She took a deep breath, before taking a shower – trying to wash away the pain.

She was supposed to shop for more baby things today with Angela. But she could barely keep her head up straight. Through the fogginess in her head, one thought was crystal clear.

Tomorrow was Seeley Booth's wedding. She was supposed to go and be there for the event, ever the supportive partner. The former best friend.

She'd made up her mind last night not to go. She couldn't tell him, of course. That wouldn't be fair, the day before his wedding. Grooms were typically very stressed in the days before their wedding nuptials. Not as stressed as brides tended to be – though she hated to be patriarchal, even in her musings. But Booth had been acting quite stressed out lately.

He looked so serious most of the time. He'd been so short with her in the car when they were driving to their case at the retreat. He'd seemed intense last night when he'd arrived to check in on her.

Guilt coursed through her. Somehow he'd heard – probably from the local PD – about her signing gone wrong and felt obliged to come and check on her. And Hannah had looked upset, sounded beyond angry. He'd clearly hated to upset her and as they left, she'd hoped that she hadn't caused any friction between them so close to their big day.

Because Seeley Booth deserved the perfect wedding day.

He deserved Hannah Burley. Hannah was so beautiful. She was socially appropriate. Everyone seemed to love her. She was smart. And she was open and loving and available and accepting of his love. He wanted to get married. Have thirty… forty… fifty years.

She was everything that Brennan was not.

Hannah had a really nice, normal family. Surely Booth noticed the contrast. And he deserved a scandal-free family. He deserved someone who hadn't hurt him. He deserved deep and real love. He obviously felt it for Hannah. If he'd felt anything like that for her, he couldn't have moved on quite so quickly and completely.

He hadn't really loved her. He'd confused friendship and attraction and just their former closeness. He'd gotten confused last year.

But…

She wasn't confused.

Sadly, her love for him was real. And she wanted to turn it off. Oh how she wished there was a button she could push that would hide away all of these emotions and button them right back up. Because now that she was aware of them, she felt like she wasn't even herself. She wanted him. She wanted him.

She wanted him.

But he wasn't hers anymore.

He was never really hers at all.

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Booth stared at his phone. He'd texted Bones repeatedly to see how she was doing. He'd even called. He'd gotten no answer. When he couldn't take it anymore, he called Angela.

"It's Booth," he said before she could even say hello.

"Yes. My caller ID does work so I was able to deduce that."

Booth closed his eyes and squeezed the phone. "Have you talked to Bones? Is she okay?"

He should know.

"She's okay," Angela said, though the way she said 'okay' seemed like maybe she wasn't completely 'okay.'

"Angela—"

"She has a concussion. But she was sent home. They even said she could sleep."

"She went to sleep with a concussion?" Why would they tell her to do that? It wasn't protocol.

"They said it was just a moderate concussion and she was fine. I talked to her earlier. Her head's hurting a bit but she's fine. Booth, go. Enjoy your wedding fun. Besides, Jake is taking care of her... and he's doing a very good job."

He stared down, his breathing catching. "What does that mean?"

"Just that you shouldn't worry. I'm here. She has all of her friends, her family, Jake. She's covered. You're officially off duty, mister. Get married. Go away for your honeymoon. Don't even think about work or any of us."

Booth frowned. "Work… do you think that that's all you guys are to me? Does she think that?"

Angela sighed. "No. That's not what I meant. But I do think that you shouldn't be worried about anything right now except your wedding, Booth. It's everything you've always wanted and look – it's right here in front of you now."

He heard a warmth in her voice, but also… something else that he couldn't quite place.

But that tone, that something… it felt familiar. Like a longing inside despite the fact that he was just a breath away from having everything he'd ever dreamed of.

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When her head finally felt better, she looked at her phone and saw some texts from Jake, her dad, Russ – all checking in on her and making sure she was okay. And a few from Booth.

She knew he was also checking in. She felt horrible but she took a deep breath and sent him a quick message to reassure him of the exact opposite.

Thanks for checking in. I feel great so don't worry about me at all. Enjoy this special moment in your life. You deserve all the happiness in the world, Booth.

When he got back from his honeymoon, she'd have the conversation with him then about severing their partnership. She'd already reached out to the forensic anthropologist in Montreal to touch base. She could at least begin that conversation soon, and have a plan for Booth so he wouldn't lose any time when he got back to work.

Her phone buzzed a moment later. Booth.

Her heart thundered at just seeing his name on the screen. It felt like a pathetic response since she had received thousands of messages from him in the past few years. Why did everything suddenly feel so intense? Well… their connection, as they knew it, would be ending. These messages would stop. He wouldn't be checking in on her anymore.

Bones, I'm glad you're feeling okay. I was worried. Do you need anything? I can bring soup. Thai food. An icepack. A movie. Anything.

Tears filled her eyes. When she was younger, she used to hear people say about her all the time that she was cold and heartless. Interns would ask if she had a heart, when she'd fire them on the spot. Foster families. Kids in her high schools. Colleagues. Professors. Peers. They'd say she didn't have a heart. She learned not to care about that. But right now, she stared at her message from Booth. And she knew she had a heart.

I'm good, Booth.

She knew she had a heart.

Because it was broken.