Kevin felt like he was moving. He could hear all hectic around him. "He's blood pressure is low!" A voice said as sirens wailing. "How could any one do this?" The voice shouted. Kevin once again felt the urge to vomit once more. He shifted to let it oozed out. "HE'S VOMITING BLOOD!" The voice cried out.
"Please!" He thought. "Just forget about me."
He then felt the bed move. He opened his eyes slightly to see light flash over him. He then felt hands all over him. He then recognized a voice. "He said that his stomach was bothering him. …. It's all in here." Janis said. He tried to get up, but, his body didn't respond. He started to see shadows over him.
"This looks like, a suicide note." A voice said.
"We better get a GI order." Another voice said. "His parents have been notified. Right?"
"Don't tell them!" Kevin thought. He then felt a tear flow down his cheek. Everything went black again. All he could feel was his body being touch. Then soon there was nothing.
Kevin's thoughts and visions ran ramped. He saw everything that had happen. He relived every moment. He tried to fight the visions, but couldn't. He saw Janis Yelling at Chase wanting to stop her. He then Saw the Kiss that he gave her. Then he saw the one thing he had blocked out. He tried to wake up as it came into view.
He was in the locker room after a long weekend with chase. He crawled out of the showers and stood up. He then heard his stomach growl. "I have to eat." He thought as he walked along the wall. He had snuck out into the halls with no sign of Chase. As he walked he tried to find some loose change in his pocket. As he reached the cafeteria door, he caught him self from collapsing.
He then looked up and saw it. At the table right in front of him was a continental breakfast set up. His mouth water as he scanned the buffet. "I just need a bite." He thought as he made his way over. He spotted the muffins and took one. "They won't notice." He thought biting in to it. He then devoured a second one. As he started to scavenged he heard a scream.
"OH MY GOD! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? "A female voice shrieked. Kevin quickly turned around. Luckily his hood was up. He had come face to face with the cheer team. "GET OUT OF HERE!" The girl said. Kevin only cowered. He didn't know what to do. He then saw Nazz. She was staring just like the others. Kevin tried to run but, was too scared to move. Then he heard the one voice he dreaded.
"HAIRS!" Chase yelled as he rushed over. "HOW DARE YOU! …Lynn, I'm sorry for this." Chase voice became closer. Kevin trembled hard as he saw Chase's shadow."This freak won't bother you again." Chase said as he pushed Kevin down. He then got right in Kevin's face. " YOU disobeyed orders!"
"CHASE, I… I… was hungry!" Kevin whimpered. Chase then grabbed him and took him into the middle of the room. All of a sudden, Chase pulled down Kevin's pants. Giggles and gasps were all that Kevin heard. He then realized that he was wearing a diaper. He had forgotten about it as he left the locker room. He then fought back tears as he trembled hard. He was ashamed. He then pulled his pants up slowly as Chase drugged him out. "NOW! FROM NOW ON YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM THERE!" Chase yelled as he shoved Kevin up the wall. The vision soon faded to Kevin's relief.
Kevin finally came to as he heard the beeping of the heart monitor. He barely opened his eyes and saw his mom sleeping in a chair. "Mom" Kevin mumbled faintly. She didn't stir. "Why did they save me?" Kevin thought. "I'm nothing." He the then looked over at his mom again. "Mom." His voice said louder. She then looked up.
"Kevin! You're awake!" His mom whispered. She then came closer. Kevin noticed that tears had been her eyes. She gently touched his hand. He lifted it and held hers. "Oh sweetheart, we were so worried!" His mother said looking at him. He then took a deep breath.
"What happened?" Kevin whispered.
"You were in a fight." His mom started, "You were also throwing up blood. When you got to the ER they found out you had... a stomach ulcer an inch in diameter. No wonder you weren't eating. You've been a sleep for a few days. The doctors had to repair it. You are pretty torn up. You have a couple of deep bruises. .. You're eyes are looking better though."
He then thought about his stomach. For the first time in months it didn't hurt. "The doctors said that you written a…" Kevin's mother's eyes started to tear up, "A suicide note. When your father went home He found the other note. … Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I didn't want anyone to know." Kevin mumbled, "I didn't want to bother anyone. ... I just needed to get through it."
"You should have told us! Janis was the one that showed us the note." Kevin's mom said as tears fell. Kevin then looked around the room. On the bed next to him was a blanket. The bed had been slept in. "Janis hasn't left your side." His mother whispered, "She just went to get a drink." He then looked at his mom again. With in a few seconds, Janis had returned. As she came closer, Kevin felt tears forming. She then came to his bed side.
"Hi." She said as tears fell. He then glanced a way, He didn't want to see her. He didn't think he was worthy of anything. She then moved his face back. "Look at me." She whispered, "You're ok." She then smiled. Kevin stared at it hoping it wasn't another vision. He barely lifted his arms. She then hugged him. Tears now flowed down his face. "I'm glade you're back."
"I'm sorry." Kevin whimpered as tears gushed. He wanted time to stop. His mother then left the room. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "Chase…" He began to tremble.
"You're safe now!" Janis whispered as she sat on his bed, "You'll be ok! He can't hurt you…. Why didn't you tell any one about your stomach?"
"I thought…." Kevin whimpered as he started to bawl. He looked away trying to see if it was a dream. He then looked back at her.
"You had a stomach ulcer! It wasn't nerves! It wasn't something that you had to put up with. You should have told some one. What you went through was wrong. You almost died." Janis started to rant. Kevin then looked at her and trembled more.
"I wanted to die!" He blurted out, "I'm nothing!"
"That's not true!" Janis said firmly. "You're Kevin! You have people that love you and care about you." Kevin then stared at her. His breathing became deeper. He then looked at the window seal. There, were flowers and cards. "Those are from every one that cares about you!" Janis said quietly. She then wrapped her arms around him. Suddenly, the warm feeling return faintly. He had wanted it ever since he told Janis that he couldn't see her. He held onto her arm. "It's just us." She whispered.
He then realized what had happened. A vision of chase flashed through his mind. "I'm nothing." He mumbled, "Why do you like me? I'm nothing." Janis sat back up and stared at him. "Chase…"
"I just do! … Don't think about him!" Janis sobbed. "He hurt you! … It's not you're fault."
"I hurt you! I'm making you cry! "Kevin said as tried to turn away from her.
"Don't you get it? You're the victim! Everyone at school knows now. They know who you are. It's over." Janis ranted. Kevin's mother soon returned with his father. He couldn't look them in the eye. They had found out that he wasn't on the team. He wanted everyone to disappear.
"Everything will be alright." His mother said as she walked over and begun to stroke his head, "You'll get the help you need."
"But, I'm…. I'm…."Kevin tried to speak while holding back tears looking at his father. "I DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM!" He wailed as he trembled. "I'm sorry! I'm a failure! I'm a failure!"
"You're not a failure, Son." His dad said, "You never were." Kevin then looked at Janis. She was the one who had seen everything. He then saw the notes that he had written on the night stand.
"I wanted the pain to stop." Kevin cried. He then began to cry harder. He started to fear Chase once again. Hoping that the next attack will be the last. "Chase will kill me." He muttered.
"Chase is gone! He can't get to you dear." His mom said. She then hugged him. The nurse came in to check his vitals. Seeing that he was awake, she quickly got the doctor.
"Everything will be ok." His mom repeated to him as the doctor came in. He explained to Kevin that he his ulcer was due to the stress he had endured. He also explained that Kevin was being diagnosed with severe depression and post traumatic stress. By that time Kevin had zoned out. He didn't want to hear how it wasn't his fault. He "knew" it was. He then looked at Janis, who was staring back at him. Once again, their eyes met. The warm feeling return and grew. He wanted to hold her, wanted to feel her body next to his.
Kevin reached out his hand to Janis. She then came closer and took his hand. He then realized that it had been her all this time. She was the one that got him through it. He then pulled her closer to him as much as he could. Coming face to face she kissed him and he kissed back.