Misfit Mercs Saga

Prelude

We Have Not Gathered Here to Praise the Misfits,

But to Bury Them

By Nick Maro

Thunder cracked overhead as the gathering of mourners listened to the eulogy. Lightning streaked across the dark gray sky and illuminated the five figures watching on the hill. They stood together in grim silence as the caskets began to lower into the ground. "I say we go down there. It's not like they'll know it's us," the blonde woman said breaking the silence.

"No. Kimber would know it's me. We have to let the world think The Misfits and David Gabor are truly dead. It's the only way we'll be safe." He turned to the four others. "I know it's hard but only Techrat and Clash must know we're alive. The person responsible for framing Mary, excuse me, Rumiko, is most likely down there with our friends and family. We have to get used to our new identities." David quieted down when Kimber started to speak.

The blonde woman wrapped her arm around David's and leaned her head against him in thought. Seems just like yesterday, I pulled my coat off the couch and discovered the bomb. We only had thirty seconds to think. Thankfully Pizzazz was quick on her feet…

"Oh shit!" Roxy's eyes went wide with panic. "Run!"

Pizzazz looked at the couch to find the timer on the detonator was at twenty-eight. "Everyone into the basement, there's an old bomb shelter down there! Hopefully that should protect us!" She pushed her friends to the basement who ran without question. David vaguely remembered that the door was hidden behind a mirror. He found the catch right away and swung the mirror on the hinge. Jetta opened the door and they quickly made their way down the steps.

David grunted as he tried to shut the door. "It's stuck."

"Hang on! I'll help!" Stormer offered in her light Japanese accent.

"No! Get to cover! It's budging." The shock wave of the explosion shut the door and hurled David backwards down the stairs. He smacked his head on the concrete below. Roxy and Pizzazz ran over to check on his condition. He moaned softly and slowly rubbed the back of his skull. He jerked his hand away in pain. "Fuck!"

Silence began to settle on the small room. They each looked at each other in confusion in the emergency lighting. Roxy cradled David's head in her arms and smoothed his hair down. Stormer spoke first. "Now what? Whoever planted that bomb is going to want to know if we're dead."

"Mary's right gang we have to make sure that it looks like we're dead." Jetta said lying on a cot.

"Fake our own deaths? How can we?"

"I think I know how, Phyllis." David said trying to hide his pain. "We have to contact Techrat and Clash. We're going to need their help. Once the world thinks we're dead, we can then find out who did this. I'm sick of this shit." He tried sitting up when Roxy and Stormer stopped him.

Everyone went silent again. "How do we get out?" Roxy looked to Pizzazz for an answer.

"I think I remember an emergency passage way Daddy had installed. In the event the main door got blocked, the passage would provide an alternate way out." Pizzazz stood and brushed her pants off. "Sheila do you have your cell phone?"

"Right here, Phyllis. Thinkin' of callin' Techrat an' Clash?"

Pizzazz shook her head. "No, gonna have to text them. I'm sending Clash a quick text in code that we worked out for emergencies. I'm hoping that the investigation into our deaths won't include cell phone calls or texts." Pizzazz texted Clash and left the coded message. A few minutes later the phone rang. "We're okay. Pick us up in front of the cemetery my father is buried in. See ya then." Pizzazz turned to the others. "Okay, let's move Misfits." She uncovered the secret passage way and noticed Roxy had a concerned look. "David is going to be fine. I'm worried too but we have to get the hell out of here."

"Stop reading my mind, Phyllis." Roxy whispered as she clutched David close to her.

David stood on unsteady feet and put his hand on the wall to brace himself. "I'm alright, Phyllis, Roxy. I just needed to get my balance." Roxy stood next to him and he put his arm around her shoulders. He gave her a small smile that made her face light up. "Let's go."

"Earth to Roxy," David said quietly as he nudged her lightly.

"Huh?" Roxy looked at David then back down the hill. She was brought out of her thoughts by his nudging. She looked at him again and struggled to recognize him. He didn't look the same without his green hair. The brown hair looked so out of place. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

David took her hand and smiled. "It's okay we're heading back to base."

Looking around her Roxy didn't see the others. "Okay." She wrapped her arm around David as they headed down the hill to the waiting car. She got into the backseat and looked out the window, the rain had almost stopped. David sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him and sighed. "Well, the world thinks we're dead. Now what?"

Jetta looked across at David then to Roxy. "Now we train. Don't want to keep Techrat and Clash waitin' now do we?"

"Actually, we can rest for today. You know, mourn the deaths of The Misfits and David." Pizzazz said pulling out of the cemetery.

That news cheered Roxy up a bit. "Did you want to go that martial arts film fest, David? I want to enjoy myself as the new me."

"I had planned on talking with Techrat about some of the stuff he found in the junkyard. But I guess I can push that back a day to spend tonight with a lovely young blonde I know." He affectionately hugged her lightly causing a soft giggle.

Stormer looked at Pizzazz after hearing the obvious flirting. She had the same disapproving look on her face. Stormer went back to her laptop where she started began typing again. We arrived at the graveyard to find Techrat and Clash waiting…

"Jesus! You guys are all over the news! They're saying you're dead." Clash said running up to them. She got on the other side of David and helped him walk. "Stupid question time but are you alright?"

"Yeah, we're fine David is the only one hurt. I think he has a concussion." Stormer said still in the false Japanese accent. "He was trying to get the bomb shelter door closed when the force of the blast shut the door and knocked him down the steps. He smacked his skull on the concrete pretty hard. Roxy has been helping him the whole time."

The group walked to a dark van. The side door slid open and Techrat greeted them there. They filed in and he took off to the Arbco junkyard. On the trip there each Misfit filled Techrat and Clash in on what happened. David rested his head on Roxy's shoulder. Techrat pulled into the junkyard's back entrance to a secured area. The Misfits climbed out one by one and hurried into the Rat's Lair. Roxy and Stormer helped David out and into the domed building. Pizzazz looked scared and concerned for her brother. "We need to get him to a doctor." Pizzazz said as she watched Roxy gently laid him on a cot.

"And blow our cover of bein' dead, Phyllis? I don' bloody think so." Jetta accepted the bottle of water from Clash and sat on a stool.

"He won't need to see a doctor, Pizzazz." Techrat said coming into the room again. He carried a laptop sized computer. "I'll use this on him. It's a portable medical scanner that I found in the junkyard. It was broken but I fixed it." He turned the device on and it took a few moments to warm up. When it was ready Techrat passed it over David's head. He took a few minutes to read the results. "He has a minor concussion. Don't let him fall asleep for a couple of hours. He'll be fine with a few days rest. That will give us time to figure out what to do about your bodies."

Stormer took a long drink of her water. "That's a good point. What are we going to about that? They'll need some kind of evidence that we're dead. What about the bomb shelter? They'll just assume we hid in there."

"This is David's area of expertise." Pizzazz rubbed the bridge of her nose between her fingers. It was going to be a long night.

Stormer stopped typing and powered down the laptop. They were in the parking bay of the underground complex that they now resided in. "I'm going to my quarters." Stormer called to the rest of the group. "I need to finish collecting my thoughts."

Jetta and Pizzazz left together talking about where to start in finding out who was after them. David walked Roxy to her room. She opened the door and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to change and take a quick shower. Meet you by your room in an hour?"

"Sounds good to me, I need to do the same. I was thinking that maybe after the festival that we could get something to eat."

"Dinner and a movie, huh? Sounds like a date now." Roxy kissed him again and smiled.

David laughed to himself. "Now that you mention it, it does. See you in an hour." Roxy shut the door to her room, David went into his room for a quick shower. The hour passed by quickly and he was shaken out of his meditation by her knocking on the door. He greeted her with a smile. "I'll be damned. You die and you start showing up on time."

"Well, what can I say? I don't want to miss the first movie. So move your ass." Roxy smacked his bottom and laughed again. He closed his door and walked beside her. Roxy heard footsteps running towards them from behind. They both turned around at the same time to find Jetta coming toward them, her red hair bouncing as she ran. "This better be important, Sheila."

"I just wanted to tell you that Phyllis has a plan. She'll tell you both when you get back or tomorrow. She's not stayin' up too late," Jetta said as she caught up to them. "Have fun you two."

"Thanks, Sheila."

"Yeah, see you later." Roxy waved and raced David to the car.

Jetta watched her two friends leave. A smile crept across her face as she leaned against the door frame watching Roxy drive away. Roxy really cares for David. I wonder if he knows how much? She thought to herself. She spent that first night of his concussion waiting on him…

"Quit being difficult and drink the damn water!" Roxy tipped the bottle into his mouth. David slowly began drinking while fighting off the urge to fall asleep.

Jetta tapped Roxy on the shoulder. "Get some rest, luv. I can take over for you, you've done more than enough here."

"I'm fine, Sheila. But I need to get him some another ice pack for the bump on his head. Watch him while I'm gone?" Roxy looked up at Jetta. She looked even more tired than Jetta had thought. Her eyes were bloodshot from exhaustion and rimmed with dark half-circles. Jetta nodded as she took over looking after David while she got the ice pack. Roxy stood and almost immediately fell on unsteady knees when Jetta caught her right away. "You need some rest, luv."

"Thanks, Sheila. Maybe a few hours of sleep would be a good idea."

"Stay here. I'll get the cold pack and a cot for you, okay?" Roxy nodded her agreement and Jetta went to get the ice and portable bed. She returned to find Roxy asleep next to David. He was talking softly to her and brushing her cheek with his fingertips. "Looks like she won't need the cot."

David laughed quietly not wanting to wake the sleeping woman. "She's fine where she is but my head is killing me." Jetta handed David the cold pack wrapped in a towel. "Thank you. Any ideas on what we're going to do?"

Jetta shrugged. "Pizzazz has almost literally started bangin' her head on the wall thinkin' of one. We're open to any suggestions. Any ideas you have would be appreciated."

"You're funny. It hurts to talk much less think right now. Maybe Techrat will pull our collective asses out of the fire again." David and Jetta sat in silence for a few moments. "I do have an idea of what to do about our looks. Whatever Techrat and Clash did for Mary worked perfectly fine. We should get new faces and new identities. Sound good to you?"

"Pizzazz and Stormer are working with Techrat and Clash on that right now." Jetta gave David the bottle of water Roxy was forcing him to drink earlier. "Are you hungry, luv?"

"Yeah," on cue David's stomach rumbled, "I am."

Roxy stirred from her spot next to David. "Don' worry 'bout it, Sheila. I'll get him some food." She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and got up. "I jus' needed a few minutes to rest m'eyes." Roxy yawned and wandered out of the room into the kitchen area.

Jetta watched her leave then turned back to him. "She's very worried about you. I've never seen her care like this about someone before. I hope she's alright."

"She will be. I just wish she wouldn't wait on me hand and foot. It's nice but a bit overwhelming. I'm not used to it." David adjusted the ice pack again.

David and Jetta talked while Roxy was gone. She returned with a bowl of soup for each of them. "Sorry, guys", she began as she handed out their meal. "Wasn't much in the kitchen but chicken soup is better than nothing…unless Pizzazz made this!" She laughed at her own joke before turning back to David. "How's your head?"

David stopped blowing on his spoonful of soup and looked up at her. "It's feeling much better since the swelling started going down." He gulped the spoonful and nodded his thanks. "Roxy, thanks for looking after me." He kissed her on the cheek and began eating his meal again.

Jetta noted that Roxy had turned a deep red from blushing. She stood while taking her soup with her. "I'm gonna check on Pizzazz and Stormer. Maybe they've got a plan. Thanks for the soup Rox. David, I'm glad you're feeling better. Both of you get some rest." She left the room in search of her other friends. She found them both asleep and decided it was a good idea herself.

The fading lights of the car vanished from Jetta's sight. "Have fun you two." She said to no one in particular. Jetta left the doorway and went to the kitchen in search of her dinner.

Inside the car David checked to make sure he had his wallet. "I insist on paying for you, Roxy. It's my way of paying you back for watching over me." He found his wallet and counted the money inside. He was relieved that he had enough cash for the both of them.

"Alright, fine. You can pay for me." She pulled into the theater parking lot and cut off the engine. She put on a fresh coat of lipstick on and smiled at David. "How do I look?" She mocked a movie star pose and giggled.

"You look great but let's get inside for the first movie you didn't want to miss."

"You're such a pain in the ass some times, Gabor." Roxy quickly kissed David and exited the car. She locked the car with the key fob and hugged David close. She whispered quietly in his ear. "Think we're playing the role of a married couple too well?"

David whispered just as quietly. "Not at all. In fact, I don't think we're fighting enough. I'm actually enjoying it."

Roxy took his hand walked to the office box. David paid for the tickets and showed them to the ticket checker. Once inside, David began walking to their theater, he wanted to get to the seats. Roxy pulled him towards the concession area. "C'mon, honey. Can't we get some snacks first?" She smirked while playing the role of his wife.

"Alright, Anne. Make it quick."

Squealing with joy Roxy ran to the counter and bought some snacks and drinks. She came back and handing him a large drink. "Told ya you wouldn't pay for everything." David laughed and they searched for a seat while the movie was still showing previews. They sat in the middle of an empty row together. The lights dimmed and Roxy cuddled against David's arm. The film fest went on for about four and half hours. The lights came up and Roxy held her stomach. "I'm hungry now."

David led her out of the row of seats. "So am I. I wish we thought to have made reservations though. I don't feel like waiting a long time to be seated." He looked over his shoulder. "Just want to get some carry out?"

"Sure. Pick up some Chinese? I haven't had that in forever." Roxy grabbed David's arm in the aisle and hugged it close. "I really enjoyed this. It was a lot of fun."

"I'm glad you liked it." They exited the theater arm in arm. "How about the Chinese place down the street from Misfits Music?" Roxy quickly agreed and opened the car door for David. He got in the passenger side and fastened his seat belt. Roxy got in, started up the car and drove towards the restaurant. David watched her drive from a moment and went into his own thoughts. Am I getting too wrapped up in my role? I really like Roxy but I love Kimber. I hate having to deceive her like this. What Techrat suggested was both ingenious and scary at the same time…

None of the people at the table could believe what they had heard. Pizzazz spoke first. "You're nuts! There's no way I'm being scanned by that machine! I don't know who created it. I don't know if it'll give me radiation poisoning. What I do know is that I'm not letting you scan me with it!"

"Pizzazz, this machine is perfectly safe. I've used it before on myself. It's useful for running errands when you're too busy. Just watch." Techrat stepped under what looked to be a dead light bulb. He pressed a button and the dead bulb activated. A few seconds later an exact duplicate stepped out of a sealed tube. "A synthoid is more or less just a mindless shell. They do exactly as commanded."

David looked over the copy Techrat. "What about when you don't need them anymore. How do you get rid of them?"

Techrat held up a command remote. "Like so." He adjusted an intensity lever on the unit and pressed a button. The false Techrat melted into a pile of gray protoplasm. "You can then feed the used protoplasm back into the vat and reuse it."

"Won't the cops do an autopsy on the bodies they find?" Jetta asked somewhat confused.

Clash smiled wickedly. "Nope, I took the liberty to change your wills earlier today. There was so much confusion at Misfits Music, I wasn't even noticed. I put a clause in your wills that stated no autopsy."

"Okay, can the synthoids bleed?" Pizzazz asked looking in the vat.

"Yes, but it'll take all of the protoplasm to make five exact duplicates of The Misfits and David. I'm willing to sacrifice this for my friends." Techrat picked up another device. "This will help fake your deaths also. It'll simulate an undetectable earthquake. We'll cave in the bomb shelter on top of the synthoids."

"The plan sounds good enough for me, how about everyone else?" David watched as each of The Misfits slowly agreed. "Then let's do it. Time is short." He went first through the process to show his faith in Techrat. Slowly, one by one, each of The Misfits had their doubles made. David inspected each of the duplicates in amazement. He stared into the blank eyes of Roxy's double.

Roxy shook him on his shoulder. "Hey, Earth to David. You're getting to be like me with the daydreaming! We're here."

"I was just thinking about the synthoids. They looked so much like us. It was so weird." David got out of the car and followed Roxy into the restaurant. They ordered their food and made small talk while they waited for their food. The woman at the counter called out their number and Roxy took the brown bag and led David back to the car.

"We should just head back to base. I know that Pizzazz wants to talk with us." Roxy started up the car and merged with traffic. "How's that sound to you?" David agreed and she drove back to the rear entrance of the junkyard. The gate opened automatically as her car approached. Once inside, she parked in her usual spot. She followed David inside the domed building and down a hidden flight of stairs. "We can eat in my room."

David chuckled. "Still continuing our date?" Roxy laughed a yes. He walked down the living quarters past his room and stopped in front of hers. She unlocked the door and went inside turning lights on as she passed the switch. David set the food on a table and started taking it out. "What do you have to drink?"

Roxy set a bottle of sake' and two cups down. "It just seems appropriate. You pour." She sat opposite of David and accepted the cup after he finished pouring. She noticed that David was eating with chop sticks while she used a fork. "I could never get the hang of those blasted things. Give me a fork and I'm happy." She shoveled a forkful of rice into her mouth and smiled.

"Actually, it took me a few weeks to learn. I'll try and teach you if you want." David offered quietly. They ate their meal in relative silence, enjoying the company of the other. As they were finishing up a knock came from the door. David answered it to find his twin sister standing there. "Hi Phyllis, what can I do for you?"

"I heard you two come in and didn't want to disturb your dinner. I just wanted to tell you that we found him. What should we do?" Pizzazz had the same shade of brown hair as David.

David thought for a moment. "We'll deal with it in the morning. I can tell you're tired as hell. You deserve the rest." He hugged his sister and went back into Roxy's room, shutting the door behind him.

Pizzazz was tired from the day's events. She and Stormer trained while David was out with Roxy. She opened her quarter's door and changed for bed. She then went into the washroom to brush her teeth. She looked in the mirror and almost didn't recognize herself. I have to keep reminding myself this is the new me until everything is made clear. Why did Mary talk me into this…

"The cops have just announced that they found our bodies. Now we just have to come up with new identities. That means Clash gets to have fun coloring our hair." Stormer told Pizzazz and Roxy. She led them to where Jetta and David sat getting their hair colored.

Jetta smiled at the three women. "I always wanted to be a redhead. Didn't know I had to die to get me chance. By the way Stormer, you look smashin' with black hair."

Clash came out of a supply closet and brought several bottles of hair dye. "David was unimaginative and went for brown hair. So what would you two like to do?" Pizzazz and Roxy told Clash their hair choices. She sat the two women down on a chair and started the process with their hair. A short time later everyone was finished.

Pizzazz looked in the mirror at her brown hair. "Well, I don't think anyone would suspect me of being Pizzazz of The Misfits now," she mumbled under her breath. She turned and looked at the others. David shared the same brown shade as her. Roxy was now a golden blonde. Jetta had dark red hair and Stormer had midnight black hair. "I think this is a good thing. Even I don't recognize us."

Splashing cold water on her face, Pizzazz stopped her daydreaming. She settled into her bed and drifted into a dreamless sleep. Her alarm woke her up early. She groggily got dressed and used the washroom. She then wandered down the hall to David's room still half asleep. She banged on the door. He didn't answer. She tried again with no reply. Pizzazz walked down to Roxy's quarters and knocked on the door there. After a couple of minutes Roxy opened the door rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Have you seen David, Roxy? I want to talk to him about what we're doing next."

"Yeah, David spent the night here." Roxy opened the door further and Pizzazz saw David still asleep in Roxy's bed. She caught on to Pizzazz's disapproving expression. She cut her off before Pizzazz could say anything. "Nothing happened. We spent most of the night talking. I fell asleep sitting by the bed and he just stayed with me. I'll go wake him." She left the door open.

David slowly woke up and saw his sister standing in the open doorway. He rubbed his eyes and gave tired greeting. "Morning, Phyllis. Have everyone meet me in the training hall in about an hour. I have an idea of what we're going to do." Pizzazz agreed and went back to her quarters to change. David hugged Roxy. "See you in about an hour." Roxy nodded and he went to his quarters to change.

Roxy walked into the training hall and sat next to Jetta. David waited until everyone was quiet and stood. "Okay, here's my plan. Pizzazz found out where Zipper has been hiding himself. Tonight we're going to have a little chat with our friend. Tonight we start searching for who is responsible for our death. Tonight we become mercenaries. Tonight we start picking up the pieces of our shattered lives."

TO BE CONTINUED IN MISFIT MERCS SAGA PART 1