Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. All grammar mistakes are unfortunately mine.

Chapter 6

Dear diary...

Feels like I haven't been writing in ages.

So much has happened in so little time.

Well...if feels like that, somehow.

Where to start?

Work has been...different. We got a new employee. I like her a lot. She's all work, no bullshit kinda gal. Is it too weird to say it was love at first sight from my pov?

After I introduced her to Alice, we started to hang out more outside of work. We were like three musketeers, three for one, and one for all...or well... you know what I mean. No pun intended.

Rose knew how to balance love, work and private life. I kind of envied her about it. A little.

A week had passed, and for now, I had no more nightmares, my life was actually kinda bland...and a little bit boring-to Alice, at least.

Me?

I loved getting my sleep patterns back to normal. And every little tedious moment in between.

I still saw Jane on regular, but not as much. We would discuss about my premonitions and why exactly I still have them. All were just small clues to something...more. Jane called this gift clairvoyance. A tiny clip of possibilities that would mostly likely lead to the future, but not probably so. Of course, it all depended on our own decision making.

Everything was finally getting balanced on its own.

Or so I thought.

Opening the door to my apartment, I silently close them, and throw my keys on the kitchen surface. I make a loud, tired sound as I finally lay down on my couch. Stretching my hand, I try to take the remote that rests on the side of the so called table, but halfway, I give up. Closing my eyelids for a just a moment, I decide to rest.

A silent, musical, beautifully enchanting voice suddenly wakes me up. I look around my apartment, but there is no one here, but me. The tv is turned off, and my phone battery is low, needing to be charged. Getting up, I search in every space of my tiny apartment, hoping to find out who is singing these beautiful words. they are familiar, yet, unrecognizable to my own ears. Is it from a fairy tale cartoon? A movie? Deciding to open my front door, I see a completely unusual pathway stretching in front of me. A little voice in my head whispers to follow it. Before I know, my legs are moving on its own, taking me further, step by step. The closer I walk toward this path, the louder the music gets. Magic entirely envelopes me. As I continue to walk down this yellow path- that strangely reminds me of Wizard of Oz- covered with flowers, blue, yellow and pink, the closer the trail takes me, the more confident I am becoming, as if my heart knows exactly where I'm going before my mind figures it out. With every step the colors get brighter and sun shines more brighter. The song is on repeat.

Finally, there seems to be a small cottage standing at the end of the road in the middle of the road, with a small garden filled with green grass on the left and red roses on the other. My eyes look up at the balcony, and this is where my eyes stay. The heart suddenly stomps loudly, ready to come out of my chest.

He looks at me, and I finally realize that the breath that I was holding in with such force is finally released. My eyes find his, and it feels like I never wanna let them go.

I hear a faint whisper of my name on his lips, before I find myself walking towards him. My feet can't walk fast enough.

"I know you I walked with you once upon a dream.

"I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

And I know it's true, that visions are seldom all they seem

But if I know you, I know what you'll do, you'll love me at once

The way you did once, upon a dream"

I'm finally here, on the balcony, so close I'm ready to throw myself at him, but he immediately stops me.

"No Bella. Stop. Please. Wait."

I'm shocked. There is so much space between us that my body can't seems to endure. With every step I take towards him, he takes one step back.

His face comes clearer and clearer, and now I realize why he wants me to stand back.

He looks...tired, maybe even sick? Those eyes look at me with so much pity and helplessness that I don't know what to do next.

"Just...stay there for a moment. Let me talk."

My body and mind are going back and forth. Is it me? Did I do something? Taking another clearer look at him makes me realize something.

It's not me. It never was me. It is him. He's embarrassed of himself.

The pajamas he wears is very loose on him, and the grey robe he has on is old and worn out. His face is unshaved and pale, but what mostly sticks out are the huge bags under his now remorseful green eyes. They scream pain and fear. Shame.

I take a deep breath and ask, "Are you okay?"

He shakes his head. "No. I'm not. You're...I didn't want you to see me like this. I wanted to be ready for you but...I did some bad things Bella. Things that I'm not proud of."

"Whatever it is...I know that..."

His smile is ironic. " It's not. It's not gonna get better."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it's true. Look at you. I can feel you, Bella...do you know that? I can feel all the pain and hope and love you feel right now, just by looking at me. And no matter what you tell yourself right now, I know you can feel me. And you know exactly what I'm thinking right now. Say it."

I shake my head in denial.

"Yes. Say it. Right here, right now. Say it."

"Undeserving. You feel undeserving of me. Of us."

"Yes. Thank you for saying it."

"What makes you think I am? Worthy, that is?"

"You forgot already?" with a small smile, he gets closer this time, close enough to take my hand in his and put it on his chest.

"Do you feel it? The way it beats for you?"

I nod, feeling my eyesight blurring.

"It's yours. It's always been yours. Souls don't forget each other, nor do our hearts, only our bodies do. And I know your heart Bella. I've known it for centuries. As you do mine. I wish I could say it's our time, but it's not. Not yet."

Removing my hand off his body, I say, "I'm sorry."

The smile is weak, but I feel it. In my body, mind, but mostly, my heart. It radiates and shines. There is even a little cockiness to it.

"Why? Getting a little impatient, are we?" the smile widens, and for the first time ever, make me blush. Why? Because I know exactly where his mind went.

A little pout. "No."

His smile is still here, but transforms into softer one. Understandable. Loving.

"Me too. So let me get better, let me deserve you. Be patient. Just a little bit longer. I'm with you...always."

I smile. "Always."

My surroundings become blurry once more, and with a jolt, I wake up.

I'm on my couch, in the same clothes I was, the shoes still on my feet, and a dream so vivid, still on my mind.

I sigh heavily and deeply before deciding to change into my pj and just lay down in my comfy bed.

I couldn't go straight to sleep, so I let my thoughts wonder.

This is the first dream that we communicated face in face, in the present. He asked me not to visit him, and yet as much as I wanted to, as much as it kills me, I have to respect his wishes.

So...waiting it is. Our time will come, I was sure of it.