Finding My Way

Part 3

Where Do We Go From Here?

By Nick Maro

Holding back a yawn Pizzazz turned the television off and stretched in her seat. The muffled sound of each of her vertebrae popping surprised her somewhat. She looked around to see who was still awake or in the room. Jetta went to bed shortly after midnight. Roxy was still drinking with Stormer near the bar. They each looked like were going to regret the binge drinking when they woke up. Kaori was upstairs in a guest bedroom and David was still in the living room. He looked like he was meditating.

Pizzazz stood and finally yawned. She peeked at the time and winced when she realized it was past four in the morning. Slowly she walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water to wake up. She went back into the living room and sat at the bar. "Maybe you two should call it a night. It's after four and I want to go over a few things at the studio with everyone. Like letting David and Kaori hear how we sound."

Roxy put the cap back on the bottle she and Stormer were sharing. "Right, Pizzazz. Whatever you say, Pizzazz." She gave her longtime friend a little smirk. "I was gettin' tired anyway." She covered her mouth when she yawned. "Night and don' wake me too early." Roxy slowly walked up the rear stairs to the second floor.

Stormer opened her mouth to say something when she and Pizzazz heard a soft knock at the front door. "Expecting a pizza or something?" She arched an eyebrow at her half sister and went to stand. Her knees gave out from under and Pizzazz caught her. "I'm fine. I'm fine. I'll get the door." She took a second to get her balance then carefully walked to the door. Pizzazz watched her for a second then started to clean up.

Opening the front door Stormer leaned against the frame. "Lissen, it's after four in the morning. Whatev—," Stormer paused in mid-sentence when she finally saw who was at the door. The gray-haired woman stood before her. Her eyes were downcast and looking away. Drunken fury rose inside of Stormer. "Madison! Bitch!" she spat out and lunged at the other woman. She shoved her off the porch, down the steps and out onto the lawn. Rain poured down on both of the women. Stormer took a wild drunken swing at Madison, who barely dodged it.

"Mary!" Pizzazz yelled as she chased after the younger woman. She watched Stormer tackle Madison to the grass. Madison brought her arms up to protect her face as Stormer landed a few solid punches to her body. Pizzazz felt David and Roxy brush past her as they ran out together to pull their friend off of Madison.

"You fuckin' bitch! You dare come here after th' shit you put us through!?" Stormer screamed as she kept up her assault on the woman. "It's your fault that I was almost fuckin' blown up! How dare you come here! I was your friend and this is how you pay that back is by settin' me on fire and hurtin' my friends?! Fuck you!" Stormer landed a punch to Madison's side where she felt a rib break.

David grabbed Stormer and pulled her off the dazed woman. Roxy placed herself between Stormer and Madison. She fought off her own drunken haze and looked up at Stormer. "Get a goddamn hold of yourself, Mary!" Roxy looked down at Madison. "And you better have a good goddamn reason for being here."

Madison took in a ragged breath and moved away from Roxy and the restrained Stormer. "I think she broke a rib. Hurts to breathe. Just—just keep her away from me. I came to talk to Phyllis." She reluctantly took Roxy's hand when it was offered and stood up. "Thank you." Madison walked past Stormer and kept from making eye contact with her.

Taking a deep breath, Pizzazz met Madison halfway to the house. She put on her best smile. "Now what the fuck are you doing here, Maddie?"

Looking at her longtime rival and former friend, Madison chewed on her lower lip. Rain poured down on her that mixed with her tears. "I just—I just wanted to tell you I've been thinking. Now—now this isn't a trick or a joke, but I'm sorry. That's all. I'm sorry for everything." She turned and looked at Stormer who still had a smoldering fury in her eyes. "I'm especially sorry to you, Mary. All of you." She turned and started to walk down the driveway. "I'll be going now."

"No," Pizzazz sighed and looked down at her feet, "You obviously came by with more in mind than just an apology at four in the morning. Come on inside and have a cup of coffee." She looked at Stormer for a moment and then pointed at her. "But you, you're going home. I'm not having World War Three in my house. Give David your car keys. He'll drive you home and you can pick your car up here when you've sobered up."

David took the keys when Stormer handed them to him. He put his arm around her shoulders and walked her slowly to the car. "Phyllis is just trying to be the peacekeeper, but she is right. You need to sleep it off. Tell you what, we'll stop off at that donut shop you like and get some coffee and donuts. My treat." He unlocked and opened the door for his half sister. She nodded silently and got inside. David waved to his twin before he got in and drove off.

"I'll get the coffee started then I'm going to bed."

"Thanks, Rox." Pizzazz led Madison to the porch where they each sat in a chair. "I'm sorry about Mary. I guess she's been holding that grudge for a long time now. Personally, I can't blame her after the shit you've put us through." She looked up and saw that Madison was trying to hold back her tears. "Sorry. I'm tired and a bit cranky. So what did you want to talk about?"

Madison wiped the rain and tears from her eyes and cheeks. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for everything. I meant that, but I also wanted to apologize to you. I blamed you for so much. Even when it wasn't your fault, when you turned your back on me we were young. Hell, you even apologized for that and I didn't listen." She looked up at Pizzazz and sniffed. "I want to be friends again. That is, if it's possible."

Kaori had been awakened by the screaming and fighting. When she smelled the coffee brewing, she decided to be helpful. She came out with the tray of coffee and a few cookies. Pizzazz leaned back in her seat after taking a cup. "I don't know. There's a lot of bad blood between our two groups, especially between Thorn and Roxy. The Gemini Twins seem to be nice, I guess." She took a sip of her coffee and added another half spoonful of sugar to it. She then looked up at Madison. "Where is the rest of your group anyway?"

"Thorn took off a few days after Kevin Ross' death. She said the band was now just doomed and she didn't want any part of it. The Gemini Twins and I still stay in touch." She sipped her own cup. "You're right, they are good people. As of right now the band is on hiatus until we can get a replacement guitarist and a new label. It's funny, I started the band to spite you and be your nemesis, but I actually grew to enjoy making my own music. Strange, huh?"

"Not really. Look at the rivalry The Misfits had with Jem and The Holograms. We both started out to just make music, but we turned our jealousy into a hatred that lasted years. I'll even admit we lost our musical perspective." Pizzazz looked out across the front lawn and smiled softly. "But we overcame that with a little help." She sipped her coffee and sat in silence for a few moments.

Madison set her cup down and pulled her wet strands from her face. "That's all I'm asking for. A little help and forgiveness, I don't expect it from everyone, that's why I'm asking you first."

Pizzazz sat in the chair next to Madison. She reached out and gently cupped the other woman's chin and looked in her eyes. "Listen, I can't and won't forgive you without you showing you're sorry. Right now what you're saying are empty words, but I can forgive you eventually. You're on the right path and I'm sure the others will agree with me. So, we're not friends. Not yet." She let go of Madison's chin. "But I don't think of you as an enemy."

Looking away and forcing back fresh tears, Madison smiled to herself. "I-I know. That's all I was asking for." She sipped her cup of coffee and grinned wide to Pizzazz. Madison felt a little more at peace inside. She and Pizzazz talked on the porch until the early morning. Neither one noticed the sun rising. It felt like old times for both women.

Shutting the studio door behind him, David plugged his guitar into the amp and began flipping switches. There was a low hum of the amp system powering up. He checked a few of the knobs and dials then tested a few chords. He adjusted his guitar until he was satisfied and began playing on instinct. After a few minutes of playing, he allowed himself a small satisfied smile that his artificial arm was responding how he'd hoped.

David let the moment of playing his guitar take him over. He'd forgotten all about the recent bad luck his family and friends had been having. His thoughts drifted back to reality when the door to the studio opened and three of his closest friends entered. Friends he hadn't seen in what seemed to be ages. He began to stop playing, but Hitomi shook her head no. She pulled out a pair of drumsticks from her back pocket. Ken gave David a wide grin as he plugged his own guitar into an amp that was opposite of David's. Eiji slapped David on the back and turned on a keyboard that was in the room.

David suddenly felt like that Pulsar was back together. It felt as if the time apart had vanished into thin air. They played their improvised instrumental for what seemed to be forever until David began to slow down and ended his playing. The others took his cue and stopped as well. Unplugging and setting his guitar down, David couldn't remove the grin from his face. "[So I guess a few years apart and one arm less we still sound great.]"

"[So does that mean you're going to actually start playing with us again? Or was this a onetime deal?]" Hitomi asked as she put her drumsticks in her right sock and smirked at him.

"[I don't see why we can't arrange something for a future Suzaku album. As far as I see things, Suzaku is Kimber's band. Pulsar was ours. So there could be a Pulsar reunion.]" David gave a shrug and began putting his guitar away in its case.

"[Well, if you want you can do guest guitar work. I wouldn't mind and I think it would be fun.]"

"[Ken is right. Other bands do it all the time. What do you say, David? Are you in or what? Come on. Peer pressure! Peer pressure!]" Eiji joked while shutting down the keyboard.

"[Okay fine you win. Just this once though and we have to clear it with Kimber.]" David sighed as he picked up his instrument. "[It's bad enough that she still thinks I'm in Japan. Now she'll think I'm meeting with you guys behind her back to steal her band back.]" He turned around when they didn't follow him. "[Are you coming with or what?]"

"I think they're waiting for their lead singer to join them in the studio, David," Kimber said from the doorway. She wore a playful smile on her lips that betrayed her faked annoyance. She hugged him tight and kissed him quickly on the lips. "And just when were you going to let me know that you and Kaori were back in the country? After I saw it on V-TV?" She hugged him again.

David chuckled and smiled at his friend and ex-fiancé. "Actually, I was hoping that Mary would tell you while she was hung over." They shared a small laugh together and David glanced at his watch. "If you don't mind I'd like to listen to you guys rehearse. I'm going to give Kaori a call and see if she wants to join us. Then we'll all go out for lunch. How's that sound?" He smiled as the others agreed and David called Kaori on his cell phone. She joined them fifteen minutes later with sleep still in her eyes.

Pacing the length of the room, Rapture wrapped and unwrapped a lock of golden blonde hair around her right index finger. She and Astral were waiting to see Richard Xanthos. Richard had just arrived home from New York a few hours earlier. He was also the mentor of both women in the craft of magick.

Rapture and Astral each looked up as Richard's office door opened. The refined older gentleman walked out with what each woman would've called a supernatural grace. He smiled pleasantly at Astral then looked at Rapture. He held her gaze for a moment and then gave her a small smile of understanding. Rapture was still wrapping the lock of hair around her finger. Only this time she held it until it went purple.

"Please, come in both of you." Richard held his office door open for both of the women, then closed it gently behind them. He leaned against the edge of his office desk as the two women sat in the well cushioned chairs before him. He looked Rapture over more closely now. "I'm glad you decided to see me, Phoebe. I can tell just from looking at you that you're bristling with energy that you can't control."

Rapture chewed on her lower lip and looked away. She tried to hide her fear. Tears were beginning to form in the sides of her eyes. She took a deep, shuddering breath and finally spoke. "I'm scared, Richard. I see it in my mind whenever I close my eyes." She wiped at her eyes and looked up at him then at Astral. "I didn't want to say anything until Richard was here, Maeve."

Astral leaned closer and stroked Rapture's arm slow and gently. "It's alright, Phoebe. What do you see?"

"You can tell us. We're here to help you."

"No. You don't understand! No one can help us now. It's all too late." Rapture buried her face into her hands and began crying hard.

Richard took the young woman into his arms and hugged her tight. Astral joined Richard in comforting the woman. She stroked Rapture's hair while making comforting sounds. Richard backed away slightly and tipped her head up. Her eyes were already red and puffy from the onslaught of tears. He spoke gently, like a father to a child. "What do you see, Phoebe?"

Rapture's lower lip quivered as she spoke. Her voice was barely a whisper. "It's the Dweller in the Darkness. It's loose. And it's my entire fault! I've doomed us all."

Astral looked up at Richard confused only to find that the man that she thought that nothing could startle was now pale and beginning to sweat. "What does that mean, Richard?"

"It means that time is short and we'll need every person practicing the craft now. Past and present magick users." Richard went behind his desk and pulled out a book. He spoke a whispered chant and opened the book to the first page. He then looked up at the two women. "We'll also need a few future magick users." After looking at a few pages he glanced up at Rapture. "Now why do you say it's your fault?"

"Because—because I called upon its power to save Rory and Ingrid. I awakened it from its slumber."

Kaori set the heavy box down at the foot of the stairs and looked up the staircase. She let out a soft moan and slumped her shoulders. She was already regretting owning so much stuff. After rubbing her shoulder, Kaori bent down to lift the box. The box seemed lighter this time. She looked up and Kimber stood with a small grin on her lips. "I figured you could use some help. I know how it is with moving. At least it's not a sleeper sofa."

"A sleeper sofa?" Kaori gave the young redhead a confused look.

"Yeah, it's a couch that can fold out into a bed. They're usually very uncomfortable to sleep on," Kimber explained while carefully walking backwards up the stairs. "They have a bar that runs down the center and the mattresses are thinner than paper. Plus, they're heavy and the bed part tends to bounce out if you don't secure it correctly while carrying. I was suckered into helping Rio into moving one when he moved into the pool house at Starlight House."

Together they sat the box down at the top of the landing. "I'm just glad that Phyllis is letting David and I stay here while our house is getting built. It's better than keeping everything in storage. I'm finally going to be able to use my full sized art table. I'd been using the travel table for too long." Kaori slid the box into David's old room. She walked over to where the table was already set up by the window. "I bought this table when I moved out of my parent's house. It was my very first purchase when I got my first check." She looked proudly at Kimber.

Kimber ran her hand along the table's surface and smiled. "Your parents must be very proud of you. You're such a success."

Sitting hard on the bed Kaori let out a heavy sigh. "Personally I don't care if they are or not."

"Bad blood between you and them?"

Kaori let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, you could say that." She looked away and wiped at her eyes.

Kimber sat next to the manga artist looked at her with concern. "Want to talk about it?"

"No. Just drop it."

"You'll feel better if you do. Trust me."

"Dammit Kimber, I said drop it." The normally soft-spoken and kind Japanese woman stood up and stormed toward the door. She stopped in the doorway and looked over her shoulder at Kimber. "If you must know, I was abused as a child. I was constantly told I wasn't as good as the other students in my class. I'm where I'm at by my own doing and not theirs. So fuck them!" Kaori left the doorway and angrily went into the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and started to cry softly to herself.

Kimber fell back on the mattress and sighed heavily. "Nice going, Benton."

"She doesn't blame you, Kimber. She had a really tough childhood." David came into the room and set his box down next to the rest. He sat on the mattress next to Kimber. "Her father was a complete competitive control freak. Her mother only cared about their social status and that included that Kaori being perfect. They treated her like she was their pet rather than their daughter." He lay back on the bed and looked at Kimber. "She's been through a lot and its one of the reasons why I love her. She's a survivor."

Kimber rolled over to her stomach and stared out the doorway and into the hall. "She's a lot stronger than I expected. And I stand by what I said. She's a success and should be proud. Hell, I admire her and I don't even know the full story."

David stood from the bed and ruffled his friend's hair. He gave her his lop-sided grin that she always loved. "I'm going to check on her. Don't beat yourself up. You didn't do anything wrong." He pecked her on the forehead which made Kimber smile slightly. He then left the room and went into the bathroom to cheer his fiancé up.

Getting off the bus, he flipped the hood of his old Army poncho over his head and walked down the sidewalk. He carefully readjusted his bag on his shoulder. The rain poured steadily on his head. Cars splashed rain water from their puddles. He paused for a moment and looked at the piece of paper with the address on it. Not knowing exactly where he was, he walked into a gas station and walked up to the clerk. "Excuse me. I'm looking for an Ashland Drive. Is that around here?"

The clerk looked up from his magazine and studied the man before him. He didn't look like a drifter or a bum. "Yeah, it's about two miles down the road here. Make a left down Wood Street then a right down Lincoln Avenue. It's the second street down on Lincoln, can't miss it. Have a good one." He gave the man a nod and went back to reading his magazine.

The man bought himself a bottle of fruit juice and went back out into the rain to continue his quest.

The clatter of dishes and silverware echoed in the small kitchen as Craig finished washing them. He dried his hands off and turned to Kimber. "David is right, you didn't know, so stop beating yourself up. I'm sure Kaori doesn't blame you for bringing up her parents." He leaned on his elbows on the countertop. "Anyway, how's the new album coming?"

Stormer tilted her hand from side to side and made an annoyed face. "Eh, could be better right now. We just need to clean some of the music and vocals up. I'm just having a hell of a time hitting some of the notes. Rio says they sound good, but I don't think so." She gave a chuckle and grinned. "You know what they say. You're only your own worst critic. But I don't care. I'm going to make sure I make this perfect for myself."

"You just need to relax a bit. If you want I can give you a massage," Kimber offered after pouring herself a glass of ice water. "Aja has been teaching me when we have time. I kinda need a test dummy anyway. Besides, who's gonna pass down a free massage. A bad one or not?" She smiled and laughed at her joke when Craig and Stormer did.

"Speaking of Aja," Stormer began slowly, "why aren't you out with her tonight, dear brother?"

Craig rolled his eyes then chuckled. "Poor dear has to get fitted for Jerrica's bride's maid dress. Speaking of which, why aren't you with them, Kimber?"

Kimber chewed on a chunk of ice and smirked. "I got fitted last week. Took forever and a day. Guys are lucky they can rent a tux. One quick fitting and you're done. I'm just glad that Jerrica isn't relying on Synergy to make a dress. I told her over and over that was a weak way out. Plus, she'd want the dress to show her daughter if she has one." She started laughing hard as she spoke. "You should've seen her eyes when I mentioned her having kids. Oh man, I think I scared the hell outta her."

"Don't remind me about bride's maid stuff." Stormer flopped back on the couch and stretched. "Kaori wants The Misfits and Hitomi to be her bride's maids. And to top things off, she wants us to wear traditional kimonos. Now I love wearing Japanese fashions, but this is actually for a real ceremony. I'm nervous about that. I don't want to insult David or Kaori." She gave a slight shrug and rubbed her eyes on the bridge of her nose.

"Ah, you'll be fine, Mary. You have this keen way of adapting to situations." Craig turned when the doorbell rang. He held his hand out when Kimber started to stand to answer it. "I'll get it, might be Aja. She said they may finish early with Shana." He unlocked the door and opened it. A cool breeze blew across his face sending rain drops to splatter on his skin. An older man with medium blue hair stood before him. "Yes? Can I help you?"

The man smiled softly and let the bag on his shoulder slip to the ground gently. A wide smile crossed the man's face. He finally spoke with a light chuckle. "Is that how you greet your father?"

Craig studied the man for a moment, then brought back his arm and punched him as hard he could in the jaw.

TO BE CONTINUED IN ONLY A DREAM AWAY