Another day another rollercoaster of emotions.
I had the best sleep, even a pleasant dream about the times I had with my cats back on Earth. They seem so distant now, has it really been 2 years?
I am once again traversing the fucking labyrinth that is Rhodes Island because I need to find The Doctor today.
She does have sociability issues with everyone, except me for some reason, who do you think has been keeping her sane while she goes down the loner spiral?
I also can't explain, why the fuck does the woman think it is a good idea to talk to me but not to most people. I am LITERALLY the person you should talk to the least in this universe woman, I am an ALIEN.
Mane, I swear to god these bitches get dumber by the day, every revelation I get on the witches we call women makes me want to kill myself just that little bit more, and makes me lose more hope in life.
Also, before I left the experimental clinic some of the medics, thank you side-characters your help will not be forgotten, explained this Aura bullshit to me in better detail.
Basically, there is actually no such thing as an Aura as I called it.
An ''Aura'' is how Terrans have evolved to measure danger and protect themselves.
So I quote that medic whose name I don't care about:
''An ''Aura'' is a combination of many things that your brain compiles into one, imagine it as if somehow your brain managed to conjure a physical manifestation of another person's signs, like how fast they are breathing, the tone of their voice and other various factors, but ''Aura's'' can also be manually amplified by someone to overwhelm the senses of another Human, which is why if someone is strong enough they can potentially shut down another person by overloading their brains.''
And for some motherfucking reason, all, I mean ALL Terrans have evolved to utilize this. But guess what bozos, I ain't no Terran, evolution has failed your asses, you sub-humans, you can't beat modern society.
Real Humans 1 - 0 Anime Humans. Winning!
So now I have a distinct advantage, the 1 way that Terrans mastered psychological warfare doesn't affect me in the slightest and actually makes me appear a stronger man than I actually am.
Talk about a backfire.
I also went back to my room and spoke to the guards, they let me in.
Checked my RGB headset, and it's all good, based.
The phone was still good, and had a good amount of charge, grabbed my phone headphones. You know, the cheap ass plastic wired headphones they sell at literally any store? At the time they were good enough for me, and by god was this a worthwhile purchase, even after 4 whole years they stand unscathed.
Industrial society and its future, by Theodore John Kaczynski. Introduction. 1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race- HOLD THE FUCK UP.
WHY AM I RECITING THIS? AAAAAAAAAAAAAA SHUT UP SHUT UP.
Breathe in. Breathe Out. Feeling better? Maybe.
I have been just getting lost in random ass thoughts like these recently, not a good sign, maybe the medical report did hold some truth... Nahhhhh, if I was so mentally unwell how am I still coping with all that has happened? Checkmate Kal'tsit. I'm probably just overwhelmed.
Listening to some songs will help. God, I am relying on songs as cope way too hard, but what else do I have? You make do with what you got.
Get some Phonk in to hype me up, and put the playlist in random mix mode.
My favorite, Override immediately pops on.
I have a good feeling about today, everything is just going my way.
Beautiful, finally some good luck after that absolute shit week.
As I make my way through the giant behemoth I can't help but feel the stares. They feel different. Usually, there would be a different kind of fear.
A fear of the unknown, a fear as to what kind of monster I might be, but now? There is also a different kind of fear in the mix. Why? What happened that might have caused this?
Every time I pass by anyone, whether it is Operators or personnel they flinch, am I just blasting the Phonk too loud? It IS on maximum volume.
After all that is how real men listen to Phonk, we ain't no COD kids.
Which begs the question, why did they evolve both animal and human ears? Isn't it kinda redundant?
Oh right. It's because they didn't evolve, I am literally inside an anime story. Shit is so fucked up, it is more fucked up than the fucked up dog.
So yeah I continue my journey, I think I might be lost. Who gives a shit though. All roads eventually lead to a destination, if I just fuck up someone will pick my ass up and drop me at the cafeteria.
Easier said then done though, people already kept their distance before, but now it seems as if literally any person I pass is trying to avoid me as if I got COVID in 2019.
I do have a theory, which is exactly why I am trying to find The Doctor.
The only major event that recently happened that included me was my confrontation with Lappland right? But why does everyone know that then, it was around 2 AM into the night? Everybody should have been asleep.
Exactly. Everyone WAS asleep, so that leaves only 3 options.
Either Kal'tsit for some reason told the ops what I did, which is unlikely.
Lappland babbled to someone about me, which also doesn't make sense since the poor bitch got no friends in the current story.
Which leaves only 1 option. The Doctor. The Doctor looked at last night's camera footage for that hallway and somehow, someway leaked info.
I swear to fucking God if I find the fucker that made the Doctor like THIS compared to any other variation I WILL beat them. This is so fucking annoying. Now I'm the center of attention due to her mishaps.
Great. Incredible. Wonderful. I am totally very happy about this...
I want to stab someone in the fucking throat.
If only I had the strength to back up these claims. We go full circle.
Always weak, never strong enough. The jokes write themselves.
And I have, somehow, found myself near Human Resources.
How, how the fuck did I get here? For fucks sake. I am so lost.
In the game we got to assign operators, I wonder who actually is on the station, taking a look couldn't hurt right? Right?... Yeah no, I'm fucked.
The one sitting at the table is...!
Yet again a woman, incredible. Who fucking was this one now?
White hair 'n shit.
I actually can not remember. Cmon, I can't be expected to remember all the characters from a fucking game now. I did do heavy research into the lore as a hobby yes, but you just can't expect me to know everyone you cruel fucking Gods.
So I just walked in, told the truth about how I was lost, and finally got some fucking instructions as to how I would get to where I needed to be.
The entire time she looked at me as if I was a puzzle, trying to figure me out. Tough luck you fucking, robot? Idk man, she sounded weird while talking.
Future me might be asking why after 2 years of secrecy now I am walking around carefree. It is due to circumstances man, just trust the plan, the plan never falters. Believe in it as you mean it.
The woman who gave me instructions also seemed tense, as if they were gonna snap if I did something rash. Really bro? All it takes for me is to fool 1 dumb dog and now everyone thinks that I am a threat to their safety? Like cmon I lie, I lie a lot. But at least my lies are believable and carefully constructed, most of the time. How the fuck did I manage to unintentionally scare an entire paramilitary organization.
So-called ''Pharmatecual's Company'' my ass, I know the lore.
However... I can make use of this, originally I wanted to gain the respect of the people but now has to be the perfect time for a dastardly change in plans. If they fear me, so be it, that fear will be put to good use.
Little do they know I have literally brought them to this height, they should have been grateful, which is exactly why I wanted to commandeer their respect instead for fucks sake, and build clout.
But adapting to unexpected situations is also a trait needed to survive.
I may be weak, I may be lying out of my fucking ass, but I am not stupid.
All that I need to do to keep the facade is to just stay away from physical confrontation and bump into Amiya, the fucking bunny-donkey.
I have deflected her mind bullshittery once before and I never saw her again. I literally just played the 2021 experience meme in my head for an entire hour near the little shit and it got to her when she used her power.
How can you read my mind if my mind is melting from 21st-century humor? If only the internet existed here, I really do miss it a lot.
How is mortifying a child with the horrors of the internet, ok you might ask? Uhhh. We'll think about morals when we are in a position to do so.
After learning how directions work for the 2nd time in my life I made it to the cafeteria, and it is peak hours. It is filled to the brim with operators.
One might ask how I managed to get into the inner chambers of Rhodes Island, simple. I have a keycard and an armband signaling that I am actually not an enemy given to me by Kal so that I don't get jumped every 2 minutes by Operators.
However, I am cursed. I am cursed with knowledge, I can see.
Every time I pass by a table they just get that little bit quieter, whenever it looks like I am turning a certain way the mess of noise from that section of the area gets that smidge hushed.
What the hell brother, I just wanna find someone for fucks sake I'm not looking for a fight. Fuck my RNG, I hate this so much.
This ain't my first rodeo, a normal person might have buckled under the pressure, but I won't. Who do you think I am people?
I was THE quiet kid, I was used to the stares and whispers, you can't crack me like this, we run on rumors.
Soon I spot the Doctor, and I am impressed, last time we talked I advised her to spend more time around groups of people, and seems she actually followed my advice and is now eating in the cafeteria.
This however will not stop me from nailing her into the ground for her mishap, though, I will be a little more merciful since she did follow my words of advice seriously which I wasn't expecting.
So I pull up and sit in front of her. No response. Really?
I look at her eyes, they look melancholic, I wave my gloved hands in front of her, no response. Did she zone out while eating? Curious. Welp.
Suddenly the entire place almost goes silent, there is still some minor chatter but they have subconsciously toned down their voices.
I don't even need to see because I already know, they are watching, suspensefully, waiting to pop up to kill, stab, shoot, poison me in case I pull something funny. As if bros, I am no suicide bomber, no 9/11 by me.
The Doctor is known to not like talking, at least directly, which is also why I am wondering as to how they managed to spark all these rumors when she barely talks unless needed.
I need to keep the act, we can't falter. Keep them on guard.
So I just sit there and occasionally pull out my phone, look at some memes, and close it again. Doctor still hasn't acknowledged that I am here.
However I can still feel the hate seeping into my back, geez people, drill a fucking hole with those stares, will you?
I would love to keep the act, but even this is too much for me.
My PTSD'ed ass can't handle this any longer, so I snap my fingers in front of her face a few times.
The Doctor shakes her head, and looks around, eyes darting.
She looks like she is about to run, just hop out of her chair and book it.
Even gets up a little, trying to back off.
But then she realizes that it is just me, and sits back down with a sigh.
''Az- Azmych? Wha-What are you doing here?''
How should I approach this one now, she seems to be fragile at the moment, so a friendly approach? Yeah, good enough. Also
'' Nothing much Doc, just thought that I'd pay a visit to see how things were going. Before you ask, yes, I did get permission to roam around.''
''I actually wanted to ask you a couple of things, but that doesn't seem like a good idea right now. You seem troubled. Wanna talk about it?''
I'm making all the funky hand gestures, hand gestures are important, alot, body language can work wonders if you manage to control it.
At this point, the noise in the cafeteria picks back up. I wasn't exactly quiet with my speech back there on purpose, now I have less attention on me. But I just know it, some are still watching, watching my every move to see howif I'm tryna hurt her, see if I need to be taken out.
Her ears move down a little, a small twitch, her lips move but no sound comes out. Did I push too hard? Ma-
''Ho-How do you always know these things Az?''
She leans over a bit. Hmmm yes. Booba. NO DISTRACTIONS.
LOOK AT HER FACE. Don't EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. SQUARE UP.
''Is i-it that obvious?''
I whisper back. Mask helps muffle my voice. No sneaky listeners.
''Nah, I'm just good at these types of things, you should know.''
''...''
For my efforts, I am rewarded with silence.
Yeah no, I need to crack this bitch up. How? Oh, I know.
When in doubt, whip 'em out. 5th-grade humor always works.
'' I said I wasn't gonna ask it, but I'm just gonna ask anyway.
Doc, do you know Candice?''
She looks at me, dead in the eyes, or tries to at least.
She probably thinks I'm actually asking about someone that she can't remember due to her amnesia. Looks down, as if she is sad.
''No, who is Candice?''
Ladies and gentlemen, we got 'em. The Absolute State.
'' I don't know either Doc, but Can-This dick fit in your mouth?''
''...''
I crack a very sharp laugh, which gets mixed with my coughing halfway.
Smokers tryna tell you why it is a-okay to smoke be like.
However it works, me laughing has given her a slight smile. Her lips have curved upward and her wolf ear is up. Laughing is infectious as fuck.
I don't think I ever laughed in front of her, It was either all;
Instructions, serious talks like a philosophy on morality, advice, or rhetorics. She got caught off-guard. I just can't stop winning, can I?
''Bet you weren't expecting that were you? Liven up a bit Doc, it isn't good publicity to be zoning out and looking all gloomy. Status matters.''
''Don't get me wrong, as usual, I am not trying to pressure you, call it advise from someone who knows what they are talking about and wants to help a fellow struggler.''
Now it is my turn to get up a little and loom over her. The reckoning.
'' Which is exactly why I would like to ask, why does the entire landship look like they know that I somehow ''Defeated'' Lappland and now I am a public threat since apparently this is where defeating her gets you.''
She is panicking, I can tell, she is struggling to find a satisfactory answer to give. Is she scared I might yell? Better clean it up a bit, being too mysterious sometimes has its downtimes, for example when people can not realize what looks obvious to you since you already know the context.
''I am not gonna yell at you or be mad, I just wanna know how it happened so that it doesn't happen again. Stop worrying too much Doc. Deadass.''
She fidgets a bit more and then begins telling me a story, about how she was ''Doing work'' and wanted to check ''Camera Quality'' and how she ''Stumbled upon our confrontation and accidentally shouted out loud:''
''Holy shit Azmych actually managed to hold down Lappland?!'' in her office while the door was upon, which someone probably heard from the outside and posted on Terra's version of the internet.
That is all I get anyways, I wasn't exactly listening. God this is a fucking chore. The nice act truly taxes my nerves, I just want to tell her to get to the fucking point but she would fucking break on the spot if I did that.
I don't need to think twice about how that may affect my standing.
Lore time. While yes Terra may not have the WWW, they still have local internet, so chat rooms and anonymous boards still exist, just only for people inside the landsHİP. This is why and how rumors spread around so fast around operators and personnel. Damnit, woman!
''so that's why I didn't mean t-''
''Ok Doc, ok. I get it, it's fine. Just next time you go around snooping on the cameras be sure to lock your fucking door and make sure no one is listening. In return, I'll owe you one if you manage to lessen the damage.''
Everybody knew my name, again, info leak by the Doc.
Also thank God I had the smart idea to bullshit a nickname instead of my real name to the Terrans. If my real name had this much fame I'd die of embarrassment.
This is exactly what the Doc was doing right now, suddenly red with embarrassment, eyes once again drawn towards me. Dubious.
Some people thought I was pulling bs probably because they just actually got up from their tables and walked to ours.
All threatening 'n shit, wide shoulder walk, hands on their weapons. Calm down broskis.
A group of operators, some women and men, I once again don't remember who they were, I think these were the ones who had like a crush on the Doc in game? I can't remember the names now, nor their looks, I was busy acting.
Asked the Doc if I was bothering her, so meanwhile, she was tripping over her words tryna explain that I wasn't doing anything bad I was busy posing. Posing as if I simply didn't care, ignoring them, and looking at my phone at random intervals. They eventually left, and cursed at me a bit too.
Just to rub it into their face I yawned while they walked away. Too EZ.
''Doc, we should continue this in your office, fewer eyes and ears that way, just like you like it yeah? I also have more serious topics to talk to you about.''
A hum of agreement, so we just got up and left. While leaving I looked around the cafeteria. Disgust, anger, and confusion, they were all clueless.
Probably thought I WAS doing something bad but I was covering it up somehow, since the Doc rarely talked to people willingly in their free time this probably seemed very suspicious to their asses. Heh.
Played like fiddles, keep theorizing dumbos, one day I will fuc- I mean I will corrupt the Doctor, wording brother, I am probably fucking no one in this life. :(