The blade is pushing into my stomach, huh, Deja Vu yet again.

My stomach HAS to be magnetic, with all the blades that find their way there

''Who the fuck are you?''

An ice-cold stare is all see, as I keep giggling on the ground like a madman.

''Me?''

Giggle.

''I am me, you are you. What are you failing to understaaaaaaand?''

My speech goes slurred, this is so hilarious I just can't stop smiling!

She pushes the blade in a bit more.

''How do you know all of that?''

Heheheha.

'' How do I know abooouuut your past? How would I not know miss wolfie, I know SOOOO many things that I shouldn't, it is almost crrepy.''

Suddenly, the air is filled with a bunch of shining swords.

Wow, glittering like gold, I wonder what they taste like?

''I will only ask one last time.''

She is pissed now, and so am I! Well, I am not pissed, more like I need to piss. Alcohol got my kidneys working.

Golden showers be upon thee!

I hang my head down on my shoulders, I feel tired!

Murmur.

'' I am telling the truuuuth miss T., I just know things beyond any of you alls coMPREhensions.''

I giggle. What a bunch of idiots.

She didn't seem satisfied. Swords raised, about to spell my doom.

That's all I can remember without jogging more of my memory.

''Ok Mark, I can remember that part now. What the hell happened before I was gutted? How did we end up here man?''

''Basically, as far as I know. You walked up to the Penguin Logistics group and talked mad shit about how the singer aka Miss Sora's music sucked and that you could sing something better even though you were drunk out of your mind''

''You did sing, quite well actually for someone that was very obviously drunk, but in the end, it was clearly worse compared to professional singers.''

''Hah, professional singer my ass. The most professional singer of Terra couldn't hold a candle to my list of songs that I got.''

''However Habibi, how does that lead to me almost getting gutted? A trash-talk shouldn't lead to a standoff. Right?''

''No sir. As far as I know, you didn't stop there though. If I remember correctly you were saying things like '' I know what you did-'' or something like that. Please, stop calling me Habibi.''

''Which eventually got the 4 of them angry. At this point the rest of the bar was also watching you, you were quite loud.''

''Can't help it Habibi, I was high outta my mind on Rakıja.''

''What is a Rakıja?''

''You wouldn't get it. Now shut up for a sec, I need to remember.''

Rub my temples, close my eyes.

CLANG.

A white blur, out of nowhere. Clashes against Texas's swords. Texa's? Texs? TEX-ASS?! Holyyyyyyy shit. What a fuckin nickname. I need to remember this. Specifically. Brain. Note this down.

''I FINALLY FOUND YOU TEXAS! THE CRAZY MAN WAS NOT LYING AFTER ALL!''

A relentless assault, blocked by an impenetrable wall.

2 wolves going at it. Wait a minute... Wording issues yet again.

When the horny kicks in after 6 glasses, you know shit is fucked up.

The clinging sounds the swords make when they clash.

The fighters move around as if they are dancing on a stage.

I can barely keep up, probably because I am both drunk and not physically capable of such movement.

A wide swing, narrowly dodged.

A thrust! Swiped away by those P-shaped swords.

A slash, a kick! Destroys a table. Misses its intended target.

The splinters fly around. A brief silence.

The dance picks back up after the pause.

Things get even more heated, onlookers are somehow embroiled into the fight.

Shit flies in the air, people panic.

Weapons pulled out. But this time... there is blood.

Soon the entire bar is embroiled in the brawl.

Everyone is fighting, to either defend themselves or to stop the chaos. The place is shaking.

Guns, bullets, bows, arrows, knives...

It is hell, hell for someone like me that hasn't moved.

Still giggling where I lie on the ground, on top of the smashed table where I have been lying even before all this chaos began.

And just as it began, the chaos dies down. Gone like a breeze.

A clash of metal.

CLING.

The 2 wolves have stalemated, the arena has gone silent.

They look at each other. Their swords connected in the air.

Lappland the crazy dog is shouting something, while I have no idea what Texas is doing. Lappland is in the way, I can't get up.

I don't have the energy left in me to get up and switch angles to watch a better show.

I look around, the crowd is still here.

I need to shoo them away. How?

Shout with all you got left.

Well, will they even hear me from where I am standing?

Even if so will I be taken seriously?

''OI, TO ALL OPERATORS PRESENT. IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS GATHER UP THE NON-OPERATORS, AND THE INJURED TO LEAVE, AND LOCK THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE.''

''THIS IS NOT A JOKE, I AM USING MY AUTHORITY AS HEAAAAAAD ASSISTANT. CODE 18B.''

That probably wasn't too smart. But hey. It is the best I got right now. I drink alcohol once and look at where I am now.

Code 18B should work. It is known as the ''Danger'' code after all.

Just my luck ain't it?

Over a few minutes, as the dogs continue their tango, I am once again surprised.

Because the operators actually listened to me.

I don't know why. Out of fear? Out of respect? Because I said Code 18B?

It doesn't matter, all that matters it that we got it. They should notify Kal'tsit or the Doctor soon.

Meanwhile, it also brings unwanted attention.

Now the rest of the P.L. group is standing above me, weapons drawn ready to kill.

Jackasses, I am not even fighting. Oh for fucks sake.

Miss angel speaks up first:

''Any sudden moves and it is over for you, surrender.''

Wow, what a sensible lass. Actually amazing. Thank you. Just what I intended

I immediately put my hands up.

''Whoooo says I was fighting in the first place. You were the ones that started thiiiiis. I didn't do nothinnnnnnn. I surrender I surrender.''

I giggle a bit more.

The bull-woman speaks up next, carrying a shield and hammer.

''We ain't fallin fer yer tricks, that Lupo is clearly your underling. Wha' else would she save you? Tell her to stop!''

That is a good joke, nice one woman.

Here I thought that women couldn't be funny.

We learn new things every day...

Wait didn't I already make this joke with Kal'tsit before?

The alcohol really got me fucked up.

''She? MYYYY underling? Not in a million years. I wouldn't pick someone who is very clearly mentally unsound TOOO BEEE my underling!''

I shout towards where the swordfight is happening.

'' Hey LAP! Get a load of these fellas! They think YOU AREEE my underling. HAHAHAH!''

She glances back for a second. A look of death, would strike me with terror if I wasn't having the time of my life.

''SHUT UP you crazy bastard, I am busy with something over here. Leave your drunkard ramblings to yourself.!''

''HERE I COME AGAIN TE-''

She sounds both happy and angry at the same time.

I guess she really IS fucked up huh. Why do I always get the mentally ill ones?

This reminds me I need to deal with the mentally ill ones trying to kill me right now.

''Soooo, you all gonna kill me nowwwww or something?''

''I just wanted to enjoy my drink in peace maaaaaan...''

I open my palms out into the open.

Weapons pointed back at me, sudden movement triggered neuron activation.

''NOWWWW look at where we are, these 2 are destroying the bar. The chairs, the stools, the alcohoooool.''

Put on a happy voice, irony.

''Soo let us cut a deeeaal ooookaayyy? You all can decide if you want to kill me later-''

A sinister laugh, a goofy, maybe even a spooky one.

''Afteeeer we stop these 2 from destroying the laaandship.''

...

''Wait Mark, I have a question man. How the hell were you able to hear or see any of this? I am starting to remember the details as you explain but like, how?''

He looks at me, dead in the visor. Mfw no eyes, bros stare at the glass. He can only keep the stare for a solid 3.2 seconds before his eyes dart away.

'' I-I was behind the bar counter, which is still the only thing that remains. That fight was terrifying. They absolutely destroyed everything. They were like a tornado ripping through the lands.

''Did you feel no fear sir?''

If only. Also, the fact that I can't feel auras help.

A sigh. I need to brag and change the topic. He can't know.

'' If only Habibi. We all feel fear, it is about tricking your mind into not listening to said fear. That is what separates kids from the '' Yoghurt Males''.

'' What is a Yoghurt Male?''

''They are the best of the best my friend, the winners.''

''What happened after that tho? I can't remember, like actually, at this point that is where it ends, only pitch black thereafter.''

''You want the short or the long version?''

''Keep it mediocre, I need to fix all this mess. Ugh.''

He tells me what happened. Quite a curious story.

Apparently, they did take my offer.

My drunk ass somehow was giving them commands, not on how to battle but how to stop the 2 from fighting by causing even bigger chaos.

Revealing even more crucial information. Past, current thoughts, future.

Strikes were exchanged, the walls scratched.

The sound of metal scraping metal was deafening.

Or so says Mark.

He seems to be genuinely terrified of the fight he saw.

Heh, these Terrans man.

By around 5 minutes, the fight had stopped.

Not because Lappland or Texas lost.

But because their attention had changed.

To me.

Apparently, they hadn't liked me telling off very personal information about their pasts like it was nothing.

Lappland was apparently going through like a psychotic episode mumbling about her past or something while Texas was just focused on trying to convince her friends about torturing me or something.

So by a very oversimplified telling of how things wrapped up would be:

The fighting stopped,

I was instead challenged to a duel to the death by both wolves,

Negotiations ensue due to me trying to hold it 2 days later,

Agreed on a date and rules,

I would make 1 attack against the 2 of them,

If I missed it, I would explain how I knew all these things, apologise,

And then kill myself right then and there,

If I hit, the case would be closed and both wolves would be in my debt/ underlings.

My drunk mind really achieved this?

Or was it sheer luck? Maybe even unlucky?

The cleanup crew arrived shortly after.

Due to some small wounds from the previous fights, other stuff, and evaluations on today's events the dogs were taken away.

When they tried to take me away I insisted I would stay in the bar and sleep there tonight.

Obviously, my request was granted, I don't know what the lie was but the most probable answer is that I simply lied about needing to stay there for a reason.

What a fucking man I am. I am fucking slaying you.

Remember,

Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.

How the fuck am I meant to duel 2 very, very strong fighters on a 1v2 no less? With 1 attack...

''Huh, very curious Mark.''

I get up. I need to deal with this shit. AAAAAAAAAAA.

I am angry, at lady luck of course. Fucking bitch.

''Anyways, I bid you farewell Mark. I now need to fix all these problems AND go back to work, I think I missed the first 3 hours. Have a good one, I'll see you around.''

Once again, without waiting for a response I leave.

Because that is objectively one of the best ways on how to seem mysterious.

If you talk less or refuse to talk. You will come off as intimidating or shady to the eye. They are scared of the unknown.

Installing the fear of the unknown into their minds.