''Why the sudden change of heart? You have been silent ever since you appeared out of thin air.''

Asked the cat-eared woman.

I looked at her with weary eyes.

The words flowed through my mind, but to force them to come out of my mouth was a challenge in on itself.

''I…''

Would it be worth with?

The choice infront of me that had been haunting me all those restless nights.

''I have a question for you.''

Steel yourself.

Try not to panic.

It will all work out, believe in yourself.

''So I thought I would help you a bit first before asking it.''

I needed to know.

I needed- I needed some confirmation.

The choice at hand, if the wrong option was chosen would be disastrous.

I spent those months covering in fear, in fear knowing I would have to make this choice, trying to hide, run.

But there was, no escape.

She looked at me for a bit, at my half-naked rotting body, and just slightly nodded her head.

I spent those months separated, cut from reality.

What was happening around me didn't matter anymore, all that was in my eyes was a single question:

''What will I choose to do?''

Stranded in this place, I spent; 6 months-180 days-4350 hours, whichever measurement one would deem fit-

With the sole purpose of solving that conundrum.

As she moved onto checking my neck and back for any signs of damage, I finally managed to muster enough courage.

''I want you to imagine something for me.''

With that proclamation I take in a deep breath, here goes nothing.

''Do you'' -cough-

I choked, I choked on my own words.

Great, very cool.

What a great impression to leave on my first attempts at serious conversation.

She was not bothered by it, she just continued the check-up.

Getting a small flashlight and looking at my eyeballs.

Which did mean I didn't have a chance to continue speaking as my eyes were getting gouged out.

Finally, she stopped shining that thing into my soul and moved onto a table nearby to get more medical tools which gave me a chance to try again, to get some answers.

''It might not mean much to you, but I want you to think about it''

I stop staring at the ground and look up.

I stick my tongue out of my mouth and brush my dry lips with it.

At this point she had already grabbed her next set of medical and started moving towards the chair I was sitting on once again.

I keep dragging my gaze higher and higher up into her green eyes.

''Do you, believe that people are entitled to certain things?''

She doesn't respond.

She doesn't give any sense of validity.

She just keeps walking toward me with her devices.

The lights flicker in a buzz.

She begins her next operation as she grabs my arm.

Now that she is close enough I can see what she is carrying.

A needle, a big one.

''I am a doctor. In front of me, on the operating table, every patient is entitled to something, their life.''

Why isn't she inserting the needle?

I am not moving.

I guess…

''What about things other than life? Happiness? A home? Freedom?''

She still doesn't insert the needle, but instead looks into my eyes, right back.

''Why? Why are you asking these things, get to the point.''

''Are you unsatisfied with your current arrangements?''

''I would like to remind you that you chose these conditions yourself, in return for secrecy on your existence you would be a voluntary test subject.''

I had to.

I had to do it.

Before I could even think of getting back on my feet, I needed a lifeline to rely on.

But that lifeline I so desperately grabbed at had now begun squeezing me, the rope I grasped tangling itself around my neck, suffocating.

''What if they could provide?''

''If one could provide some things, to gain those things, like a deal.''

She didn't respond.

My heart, my heart kept beating faster.

Did I mess up?

Is this finally it?

6 months of thinking about how I could break free and what I could do, just ending right here?

What a waste it was.

I would find out if such was the case now.

As she tightened her grip on the needle and started charging her arms I thought it was over.

Surely, it would be an end, not a glorious one, not even one to worth mentioning. Nothing heroic or tragic about it.

Well, I guess it wouldn't be too bad, afterward:

It would save me from this dilemma I am in.

Maybe if it all ended here I could stop myself before the snow falling down from the mountain could turn into an avalanche.

Once I started I knew I could never stop, I would have to abandon so many things, I would have to gain so many things.

Maybe this is for the best.

I accept my fate graciously.

And as she brought the needle down upon me I braced for impact and thought about where it would land.

My neck?

My heart maybe, the syringe was kind of long after all.

Maybe the guts for a painful death, that wouldn't be enjoyable at all.

Beep.

Beep.

The monitor attached to my other arm beeped as the syringe entered my left arm, drawing blood from my veins.

My heart which felt like it was about to pop from beating too hard stopping for a moment from the shock.

My tense ''muscles'' suddenly relaxed upon realizing what had happened.

My body relaxed, causing me to lay in the chair as I tried my best to melt into it with a heavy breath.

I blinked a few times to make sure I was processing reality for a second.

After a few seconds that felt like an eternity, she finished drawing the blood and patched the hole in my body with a small bandaid.

And she told to me, looking into my soul:

''I am listening.''