"Luke?"
"Hm?" he moaned in his sleep.
"Babe, your alarm."
"No. I didn't set it."
"I did. Remember?"
He rolled over and hit his phone, knocking it on the floor. "I hate alarms. I hate time changes. Stupid jetlag."
"So negative this morning," she teased.
"Why did you set my alarm?"
"You need to take your parents to the airport."
"Crap!"
He sat up fast. It was 5:30 in the morning and his head felt spacey and heavy at the same time.
"I need to shower." She giggled as he wandered to the bathroom. She closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the water in the shower. Then she heard knocking and Noa's little voice.
"Mommy? Mommy, I need you!"
Elizabeth put a robe on and then opened the door. "Hi, punkin."
"Mommy! Can we snuggle?"
"Let's go downstairs and sit on the couch, alright?"
"Okay."
"Hey, you feel warm. Does anything hurt?"
"My tummy," she admitted.
"Awww. Do you have to throw up?"
"No."
"Okay." Elizabeth put her on the couch and covered her. "I'll be right back, honey."
She got a trash can from the bathroom and a cup of juice but before she could get back in time, Noa had vomited all over herself and the couch.
Now she was crying. "I don't want to be sick!"
"I know, honey. It's okay."
"No its not."
Elizabeth pulled Noa's shirt off and carried her to the bathroom for a bath.
"What's going on?" Luke asked, looking way too good for 5:42 in the morning.
"I throwed up," Noa whimpered.
"Oh no. Poor sweet pea."
"I know you need to leave soon, but can you get her in the bath? I need to clean up the couch and floor."
"Of course."
He took his daughter and sat on the toilet lid with her on his lap. "I'm sorry you're sick, baby girl."
"I need to throw up!" she yelled.
He stood and turned, lifting the seat just in time.
After a few more episodes, she said she just wanted to go to sleep.
"We just need to clean you up, hon, and then you can."
It hurt his heart so much to see her sick. After she was clean, he picked her up and wrapped her in a towel. "Honey, let's go get some comfy jammies on and you can sleep."
"I want to stay with you."
Elizabeth peeked in the bathroom. "I'll take your parents to the airport. You can stay with Noa if you want."
"Please, Daddy?"
He couldn't say no to her precious face. "Of course I'll stay with you."
An hour later, Elizabeth was back. She made sure the bathroom was disinfected and then climbed the stairs to find Noa and Lucas. She found them asleep in Noa's tiny bed, Lucas' feet hanging off the end by at least a foot. It was adorable and she took a picture to remember the cuteness.
She wandered back to the master and crawled into bed, hoping to catch some more sleep herself.
…..
"Are you hungry, punkin?" Elizabeth asked Noa that evening.
"I'm thirsty. Can I have some juice, please?"
"Of course you can. Do you want ice?"
"Yes."
Lucas was in the kitchen boiling some chicken for soup, using the recipe his mom had sent him once they landed back home.
"Starting to smell good, babe."
"I thought we could all eat it. I hope you and I don't catch this but if we do, we will have it already made."
"Good idea."
"I'm glad it's Saturday so we can all rest tomorrow before we head back to our regular stuff."
"Speaking of," he said, turning to her.
"Work?"
"Yeah. I need to go into the LA office Monday and Tuesday. I think I'm going to just stay overnight somewhere because I need to be there so early. What do you think?"
"I think I'll miss you, not to mention "little miss" in there, but I understand. We knew that when you moved here."
He kissed her and hugged her for a long moment. The day had been strange. He had never been around a sick child before, not to mention a sick daughter. It was heartbreaking but he'd always take care of her, even if putting himself at risk of getting sick.
"I love you, Luke."
"I love you too."
"You did great today."
"I'd do anything for her."
"Mommy!" Noa yelled.
Elizabeth kissed his cheek. "You are a great dad, honey. She's a lucky girl."
Unfortunately, Elizabeth also caught the stomach bug so she stayed home Monday from school and kept Noa with her since Lucas was out of town and couldn't take her to school. Lucas, however, dodged the bullet.
"How are you?" he asked, video chatting with her later that evening.
"I've been better. I'm so glad you didn't catch this."
"I wish I could be there taking care of you."
"You made soup. That will feed us for another day or two. That's more helpful than you know."
"That's good."
"I wish you were here though. I miss snuggling."
"I'll be home tomorrow night and we can make sure to add some snuggling to our evening."
"Sounds perfect."
…..
Six weeks later, May
Elizabeth and Lucas watched Noa run around their backyard with a couple of her friends, thoroughly enjoying her fifth birthday party. Both sets of grandparents came, Julie and Vi and their families came and of course Faith and Carson too.
"Can we have cupcakes now?" Noa asked Lucas.
"Hotdogs and burgers first, Noa."
"Aww, please?"
"Nope. Go get your friends and we can eat."
"And then open presents?"
"Sure."
Elizabeth noticed Faith was off by herself while Carson hung around Lucas at the grill. She walked over to sit beside Faith. "Faith?"
She wiped her cheeks. "I think I'm going to leave. Can you say goodbye to Noa?"
"Hang on. If you need to talk, we can go inside."
"Its okay. I appreciate that though."
"Faith?" Elizabeth opened her arms to her best friend and held her tightly as she cried into her shoulder. "Let's go inside."
Once they closed the sliding door behind them, Faith hugged Elizabeth tightly. "He doesn't want to do in vitro anymore," she sobbed.
"Oh no. I'm sorry, Faith. There is always adoption, right?"
"Yes, but I feel like its giving up on my dream to carry a baby. I know in my heart that I will get pregnant eventually. I just want another shot to do that. What if the next time is the one that works?"
"Why does he want to stop? If you don't mind me asking."
"Its super expensive and with no guarantees he feels like its a waste of money. I sort of overreacted to that 'waste of money' comment and he's been sleeping in the guest room for three nights."
"Maybe talk to him again. Let him know how much it means to you and maybe he will do it just one more time."
"He's stubborn, Beth. Like, really stubborn."
"So are you, that's why you are perfect for each other."
"Babe?" Carson said, walking into the house.
Faith crossed her arms and stared at him. Elizabeth fought the urge to giggle at Faith's stubbornness.
"I'll leave you two to talk," Elizabeth said, walking out the door into the sunshine.
"You told her?"
"She's my best friend. I was crying. Yes, I told her."
"Its our marriage, Faith. Our decision to make."
"Yes, ours and I needed to talk to someone but you made the decision to stop trying without me. You know how much this means to me, Carson but you gave up."
"Look, I just think we need to try adoption. At least we know we can have a child that way. This way is just…"
"If you say waste of money…"
"I wasn't going to. I was going to say its unpredictable and risky. If we do another round and nothing happens, or heaven forbid we lose another baby, we won't have any money left to adopt."
"I'm not giving up," she told him as she walked past. "I'm going to get pregnant and carry it to term and all of this is going to be worth it."
"And if it doesn't work, your heart will be broken and we won't have any money left. Faith, be reasonable."
"I'm going home. Come with me, walk, get a ride, I don't care but I'm leaving."
…..
Elizabeth was quiet as she took off her makeup, showered and brushed her teeth later that night.
"What's on your mind, sweetheart?" Lucas asked, brushing his own teeth.
"Faith told me that Carson doesn't want to do anymore in vitro."
"There's always adoption."
"That's what I said but I realize now its wasn't helpful. She wants to feel a baby move and give birth and feed it. She can't do that if she adopts."
He kissed her temple and rubbed her back. "They'll figure it out."
"I know. I just feel bad for her. That's all."
They wandered into the bedroom and he watched her rub lotion on her hands and arms. "Let me," he offered.
She smiled, handed him the lotion and sat back against the pillows. "Oh gosh," she moaned as he rubbed her feet. "That feels amazing, babe."
"Yeah?"
"Mm." She opened her eyes and watched him move onto her calves. "What if I carried a baby for her?"
"Are you serious?" he asked, stopping his massage.
"Yeah. After we have another baby ourselves. If she still hasn't gotten pregnant, maybe I could carry a baby for her."
"Babe, you know how hard that would be? To carry a baby and give it up?"
"It wouldn't be mine or ours, Lucas. It would be her egg and Carson's sperm from a petri dish and implanted in my womb. I would essentially be the incubator."
"Babe, that's….I don't know."
"Its not something we have to decide now. I was just throwing it out there."
Well, her throwing it out there kept him up for a while. She, on the other hand, slept well.
….
A month later
Faith sat on the toilet lid and waited for the timer on her phone to go off. "Please be positive," she whispered. She had never wanted something so badly.
If she was correct, she was about eight weeks along.
"Faith!" Carson yelled from downstairs.
She sighed and set her phone down next to the test, leaving the room to find out what Carson needed.
"Yes?" she said, checking on the roast chicken in the oven.
"It's almost time to go. Are you ready?"
"To go where?"
"The social worker. Remember, we are going to fill out an adoption application."
She hadn't remembered. "Um, lets wait. Please, Carson."
"Faith it took six weeks to get this appointment. We can't cancel."
"Yes we can."
"Faith, please. This could be our chance to have a family. We agreed."
She had agreed after they had made up. She could see it was important to him to do it this way and the chances she was pregnant without in vitro were slim anyway.
"Okay. Let's go."