Rewritten as of 4/3/23

- Hospital -

Sakura wakes up, though not refreshed, less less exhausted than she'd expected to be.

Thank god she'd had the foresight to pic up some hangover tinctures on her way to Shikamaru's, otherwise her head would probably be pounding. Between getting her best friend into bed and her awkward talk with Ino, she'd been physically and mentally exhausted by the time she'd gotten home. She hadn't even made it to the bedroom, she'd been so tired. Instead, she'd fallen asleep on her couch.

Waking up now, she stretches into the cushions. She needs breakfast and a shower, and debates summoning Yume-Kakashi to keep her company for one of those before remembering…

'No. We aren't going to summon him any more. Yesterday was a mistake. You're better than this.'

What did it say about her resolve if one afternoon was enough to make her miss his embrace? Yume-Kakashi was dangerously seductive, and bad habit she was struggling to quit. She would need to keep her guard up, or it would only lead to more trouble.

Besides, today she gets to go see the real thing instead.

Today was meant to be a short shift at the hospital. Just one set of rounds, and she'd be free to spend time with Kakashi in the quiet of his hospital room. They were long overdue for some time together that didn't involve saving each others lives. Maybe he would even stop bitching long enough to let her tell him about her Yume-Jutsu.

Not the fantasy boyfriend part, but she wanted to talk to him about the rest of it.

After her rounds, she was set to meet with her Hokage and go over plans for their upcoming project: A joint endeavor between Suna and Konoha to establish satellite health clinics along their boarders.

This collaboration was Sakura's baby, conceived well over a year ago and nearly ready to come to fruition. It was, in part, inspired by her first Genin trip to mist, and how close team 7 had come to the ends of their lives. After defeating Zabuza, Kakashi had been nearly incapacitated. Had it not been for the good will of a local herbalist, Kakashi would have been incapacitated for even longer than he was.

She believed access to emergency medicine needed to be expanded, and with the Daimyo and Tsunade's support, Sakura wanted make it happen. Still, there was a lot left to plan.

There were only a few days left before her trip to the medical summit being held in Suna this year. Once there, Sakura was set to pitch her idea to a room full of Daimyo and hope they voted to sponsor her bill.

She looks over the presentation speech she'll practice giving to Tsunade later, then heads out the door to work.

Like she said, it was suppose to be a short shift.

But as it usually goes at hospitals, nothing that day went to plan. A new Genin team returning from Rain country had been brutally attacked on the road. The team's Jounin had taken most of the damage, but one of the students was critically wounded in battle. Upon arriving at the hospital that morning, Sakura is immediately rushed to an OR - The second time this week she's needed to do so.

The girl's damages, while serious, were nothing she couldn't handle- soft tissue injuries and a few broken bones. Sakura quickly stems what little internal bleeding there is, then moves on to setting the broken bones. She hovers her hands above render skin, willing her chakra to knit the bigger cuts back together. The girl's chart says she's nearly 12, but she barely looks 10 years old.

Not for the first time, Sakura curses the world for putting a child soldier on her table. How could the Ninja system justify asking so much from children who inherently had so little to give? Her chakra flares a little too brightly when her emotions begin to swell within her. She takes a breath, trying to self-sooth. Her chakra returns to a soft, emerald glow.

This. This was exactly why she'd initially brought the idea of satellite clinics to Tsunade. If children were expected to fight for their countries, then those countries had an obligation to provide adequate health resources. No child would ever be lost on duty again if Sakura had her way. Not on any side of the war, not in any country.

As her hands work, Sakura's mind flashes back to an image of Kakashi during their fight with Zabuza. To how he'd protected them at the expense of his own safety, because losing even one of them would have been the loss of everything.

Sakura studies the girl on her table, her heart turning over. Had Sakura been this small when team 7 encountered Zabuza? It was because of that fight that she'd realized her shortcomings. Realized that 'good enough' was never going to be good enough. She had to be better. Smarter. Perfect.

When children died, everyone else suffers too. This couldn't keep happening.

Beneath her hands, the Genin girl inhales a violent, gasping breath. Her condition finally begins to stabilize and Sakura lets out her own sign of relief. Carefully pulsing chakra through the girls adrenal glands, she wills the girl into a sedated state. She triggers a minor cascade of endogenous opioids that will function like morphine until the nurses get her on a proper IV drip. The girl's body settles back onto the table, eyes drifting back to sleep.

Not for the first time, Sakura marvels at the wonders of chakra-medicine. She considers the yet untapped potential of her Yume-Genjutsu. What could she do with the right amount of chakra and enough targeted practice? She didn't know yet, but she was getting closer every day.

Sweating from her efforts, Sakura steps back from the table, signaling to the surgical nurses that they are clear to take over.

The satellite clinics, her Yume-Jutsu… She was only one person and she couldn't fix everything. But maybe she could change something. All she had to do was get it right.

Stepping out of the operating room, Sakura removes her mask and slides to the floor, exhausted. Her head presses against the wall behind her. Maybe it's because she was thinking about her past, but she'd more emotionally spent than physically.

She knows she needs to update the girl's teammates about her condition, but she allows herself this moment of quiet. When she closes her eyes, she can still see the after-burn of the Genin girl's adolescent chakra network. It's seared into the darkness of her mind like the corona of an eclipsed sun. It was amazing how durable and powerful the human body could be…

How fragile and stupid the human heart.

She needed to shake off this funk, to sit somewhere quiet for a minute. She knows where she really wants to go. Him. She wanted to see him.

Getting to her feet, Sakura walks the hospital in a daze, knowing every floor like the rooms of her own home. She's at Kakashi's door when she finally comes to, pushing her way in without remembering to knock.

The sheets are rumpled on his hospital cot, and a tray of food sits untouched in the corner of the room. Steam still rises from a freshly poured cup of tea. Stepping in further, Sakura looks for his wheelchair, thinking he might have gone to the cafeteria. Or maybe he was in the shower?

But his wheelchair is still here in the room, sitting empty beside his open window. Sea foam green curtains waft softly in the breeze.

She doesn't even have to check his chart to know that Kakashi has run away.

- Rooftop -

Think. Think. Think! Sakura yells at herself. Her feet patrol the hospitals rooftop in the hopes that her Sensei hasn't been stupid enough to discharge himself against medical advice.

'What are you even thinking. Of course he did.'

There wasn't a sign of him anywhere.

'Okay' she thinks. He couldn't have gone far. The tea on his tray hadn't gone totally cold, which meant she wasn't far behind him. It was dumb luck that she'd notice he was missing when she did. She'd probably caught him moments after he'd left. If she was quick, she'd be able to locate him in time and convince him to get back to his room before the next set of rounds.

If Tsunade found out he'd gone AMA, it was over for him, big time. Tsunade had grown stern with Kakashi over the years, his apparent disregard for her professional opinion grating on her Shisho over time. He would be at Tsunade's mercy, and no amount of soldier pills would help Sakura heal whatever her Hokage chose to break.

The rooftop breeze was hot and sticky, even ten stories up in the air. It provides no relief for her rising temper.

They had talked. She'd thought they'd had an understanding. Why had he left the hospital so suddenly? Was it because of how weird she'd been around him lately? Had he felt her approaching his room and thrown his broken body out the window in an attempt to avoid her?

Her questions were cutting notches into her self esteem. She had to shake this off an just find him-

With a huff, the rooftop breeze changes direction, now caressing her face instead of her back. She gets an idea. A stupid idea.

'No. You just said you weren't going to summon him again.'

But this was sort of an emergency situation. Who better to help her find Kakashi than his literal Genjutsu double?

Moving away from the rooftop's ledge, Sakura assumed her meditation position - sitting with her palms up, hands resting on her knees. Why go running across Konoha looking for Kakashi when she could just ask Yume where he'd gone?

She's still a bit fatigued from that last surgery, but the chakra in her belly responds at once. A small part of her gets excited knowing she's about to see him again.

'Remember, keep your guard up this time.'

Soon, her chakra is a soothing wave riding the elevator of her spine up to the crown of her head. If she didn't know better, she'd almost say summoning him was getting easier and easier…

Still, she was understandably a little nervous. This was her first time using her Yume-jutsu outside of her apartment. The idea of her secrets being exposed for all the world to see should have made the manifestation more difficult. But despite the noises of the streets below, she soon felt his presence without even needing to open her eyes. She was so in tune to her Kakashi at this point she could have picked him out of the sky like a star.

The noon day sun beats down on her exposed skin, warming away her less important worries. But when she opens her eyes to say hello, her Kakashi isn't smiling at her like he usually is.

Instead, his head is tilted sideways, his mouth set into a frown. Sakura knows empirically that he's listening to her heart. It was something he'd started doing about a year ago, hearing the thoughts she didn't dare speak out loud. They had a way of understanding each other without things needing to be said.

She lets the silence linger between them until finally, he speaks.

"It seems I've caused you a bit of trouble this time." He says, gazing at her in concern.

Sakura swallows hard, torn between the beauty of him and the need to find her flesh and blood Sensei.

"I don't know where he's gone." She says. To her surprise, her voice cracks with unnamed emotion. The feeling of waking up on a park bench alone cuts through the heat all around her. The lingering fear of abandonment still haunts her, even after all these years.

"Hey." Yume-Kakashi said quickly, reaching out and tilting her face towards his. His hands are often bare of gloves when he manifests. She registeres the rough callouses of his palm, so familiar against her skin. "I'm not Sasuke, okay? And neither is Kakashi. We would never disappear on you like that. You know better."

Sakura shamelessly turns her face into his palm, holding his one in the both of hers. So much for keeping her guard up…

"I know." She says quietly into his hand. She hates how vulnerable her voice sounds. "And you're right, he wouldn't just disappear. I don't know why that's always my first assumption. It doesn't seem to matter how much time passes, my mind always seems to go to that."

Kakashi studies her for a moment before pulling her forward and kissing her brow. "You know, in life, sometimes people leave. But it doesn't necessarily mean they're leaving you."

Sakura swallowed hard around the rock in her throat. He was repeating her words back to her. The words she clung to like a talisman for strength.

Hesitantly, Kakashi trails tiny kisses down her cheek, across the bridge of her nose, the corners of her mouth."That was clever of you, calling me up to help you find him."

"Does that mean you know where he is?" She asks. Despite her need to locate her Sensei, her whole world narrows to the three square inches of skin that burns beneath Kakashi's mouth. She wants to stay here with him forever, enjoying summer air on skin yet to be revealed by his wandering hands.

But he knew they didn't have time, and she knew she couldn't stay. But oh, how she wanted to stay…

Kakashi's voice is a murmur against her ear. "If I tell you where he is…You have to promise to let me see you tonight." His words take on a delicious edge of hunger, running through her body like electricity through a live wire.

"I-" Dear god, this man was doing distracting things with his mouth…

"Please? Promise you'll let me see you tonight." This time his voice is soft and sincere. He knows she's a people pleaser at heart. He's tailoring his words to incentivize her to give in. "I really want to make up for all that lost time."

Sakura's eyes lock with his. Through the strange telepathic bond they share, she can feel the heat of his intentions. Flashes of how he would spend the night torturing her with his tongue and his hands. It takes all of her willpower not to give in then and there.

This was exactly why she'd sworn him off in the first place. The man was too damn persuasive…

"Fine. You win." He says, sighing in defeat. He's seen the resolve evident on her face. "Strictly business then."

But he hovers his lips over hers anyway, withholding a parting kiss. Sakura knows exactly what he's doing, the devil. He wants to make sure she knows just what she's missing out on.

His voice is her drug when he speaks to her next. "Tell me Sakura…What day is it?"

The unexpected question catches her off guard. She sits back from him in confusion. Patiently, he awaits her answer.

"It's Friday?" she says, momentarily confused. But realization dawns on her as her answer is spoken. "Oh…It's Friday."

She knows at once exactly where she needs to go.

"That's my girl." Her Kakashi says.

Sakura is up on her feet in an instant, turning her body towards the south. She knows exactly where her Sensei is, why hadn't she thought of it sooner? She's about to leap out into the air when something makes her hesitate.

Kakashi looked, for all the world, like her leaving was killing him. He smiled at her anyway. "See? You didn't really need me after all."

She pauses, knowing that she shouldn't give in. He's not just her hallucination, he's the tailor made drug she's trying to quit. But even though she knows he's not real, her heart is experiencing real longing.

Leaning down from the building's ledge, she presses their foreheads together lightly. He might say she didn't need him, but some days the truth felt very much otherwise. She knows deep down that if she lets him, he would kiss her until her chakra burned out and they both left this world at the same time. It would be an early death, but…what a way to go.

But she has a real Kakashi to go find. She doesn't have the luxury of choosing a dopamine death. So instead of exploring his mouth like she wants to, she kiss his cheek along his Sharingan scar. With a breath, she lets the Genjutsu go. She stands there with her lips on his cheek until the feel of his touch dissolves around her.

It isn't until she knows he's fully gone that she makes her words real. "I will always need you." She says to the empty air. She allows herself to linger in the vanishing dream of him.

With a last look around, she steps from the roof of the hospital out into the open air. She hits the ground with a small tumble, then makes her way to the cities perimeter.

Towards the memorial stone.