- October -

Sakura goes on about her life without anybody. She goes to work. She goes to sleep.

Repeat. Repeat again.

She's not happy, she's not sad. She's just…numb.

Her walks to work are sight without color. Her world is black and white and greyscale. Her life is full of sound, but no music. Her meals are comprised of food without taste.

The days tick on, and that's all they are.

Days.

Summer turns to cooling fall,

and it doesn't matter that there are no more flowers.

They all would have smelled the same anyway.

- Honey -

It's been a few weeks now since her whole world changed. Kakashi and Shikamaru have both left the village, and Yume… She's kept her promise. She hasn't tried to call him back, no matter how much his absence hurts.

Sakura had thought that saying goodbye to the three great loves of her life would be the thing that finally killed her.

It wasn't. It was all the empty days that came afterwards that threatened to.

But despite the wearing of those hollow days on her soul, even then she still didn't die. If she had, it might have been easier. Instead, she was left with the harder task of rebuilding her entire life from scratch.

Without Yume, Kakashi or Shikamaru.

Some days she tries a lot, and other days she tries a bit. There are days where she doesn't try at all.

Life still isn't warm and vibrant like it use to be… but she is trying.

Her first small glimpse of returning hope comes the day after Tsunade schedules her for 12 consecutive overnight shifts. Her sunsets are slowly being replaced by the sunrises she watches from the Hospital rooftop. Other Doctors have families to go home to, people to spend time with and vacation days to use up.

And Sakura… well, she was married to the job.

Right?

"Don't forget, there's a resupply delivery coming in tonight. Make sure it all gets inventoried and properly distributed." Tsunade hands over a thick stack of requisition orders delegating which care units get what gear.

Sakura looks at it with bleary eyes, cradling a lukewarm coffee she isn't really tasting.

She lets the papers hang in the air like a surrender handshake she doesn't want to accept.

No… A small voice whispers out.

And then…

"Actually…I'm going home. I won't be back until tomorrow morning. Also…I'm taking this weekend off."

She wasn't asking, she was telling.

Apparently, it's much easier to be brave when you are immortally numb.

Tsunade levels Sakura with honey eyes that hint at bittersweetness without the sweet. She's about to fold under the pressure of her poorly thought out gamble; about to apologize and grovel hard.

But then, her mentor simply nods. "Okay." She says, and that is that. She returns to her paperwork like this isn't the second argument Sakura has ever won with her.

Really? Just like that?

"And I want a raise too-"

"Don't push your luck."

Damn. It had been worth a try.

- Essay -

When she really needs strength, she doesn't think back to the Ryokan. She doesn't dream of being in those glacial pools, pulled underwater by Yume-Kakashi. She avoids imagining bickering with her Sensei, or playing chess with Shikamaru.

She tries to think about the future instead. She couldn't keep pulling strength from her past. It's time to start rebuilding in earnest.

And maybe all those days of feeling numb weren't time wasted after all. All that time smelling and tasting nothing… it made her appreciate the rare Somethings when they did come along.

That Genin girl Sakura had operated on starts showing up every day at the hospital, refusing to leave until Sakura accepts her as her pupil.

Sakura says no, so she comes back. And back again. And back again.

"Why don't you ask Shizune to be your mentor?" Sakura asks her on the tenth day.

"Shizune didn't save my life." The girl responds, bowing low. "Please, show me how to be strong."

Sakura doesn't know if she's ready to be strong, or if she's ready to be a teacher at all. So she gives the girl an impossible question, secretly hoping she won't come back.

Kiko returns the following morning, written essay in hand.

Well…shit.

- Karma-

Kiko is too damn smart for her own good. Her tenacity is staggering. It gives Sakura an inferiority complex when she breezes through homework levels above what she herself had been able to do at Kiko's age.

"You should see her, Tsunade. Every time I can't mark a point off her paper, she gives me the biggest shit-eating grin. I'd punch her if she wasn't so tiny."

"Karma's a bitch, isn't it." Tsunade says.

Her own mentor can't seem to get enough of this.

- Options -

It wasn't easy coming back to life. Most days she still felt fragile in a way she hadn't felt in years. But at least now she is fragile with a purpose.

Because this time, when she's done rebuilding herself, she knows her soul will be bullet proof. She refuses to be a stronghold built atop a weak foundation again. She will be a force to be reckoned with, all the long way down.

It would take longer. The work would be harder. But she has already done this once before, the first time Sasuke left. That meant she could do it again. She was really, really good at following through

Eventually, she got to know her emptiness. Her chronic loneliness turned into just Alone. She doesn't know exactly when it shifts from one thing into the other, but it's a beautiful moment when it does.

Because even though all that space inside her might still echo, she knows it isn't empty any more.

It's full of something powerful.

It 's full of…potential.

The next time she remembers Yume and Kakashi and Shikamaru, it doesn't make her want to die. It just makes her want to grow. First, for each of them. Then, for all of them. And eventually, she does it for herself too.

She's looks at her 80 year old self, wrinkled and weathered but still so strong. There's a band on her finger for a man she loves, but it's paired with a full life of purpose and meaning. She knows intrinsically that this version of her is happy.

Her face is full of love because she loves herself.

Option 3, she decides. This is how she will honor them.

'That's my girl.' The small voice whispers.

- Polaroid -

Sakura and Ino stand in front of a very familiar restaurant, waiting for a pair of barstools to open up.

Ino has been trying to get her to come out of her shell for weeks now, and Sakura has finally relented. It's Saturday, and she has the weekend off courtesy of her newfound healthy work-life boundaries. It's been way too long since they'd gotten together anyway, and Sakura knows socializing will be good for her.

She doesn't realize how badly she's missed Ino until her friend makes a sarcastic comment and Sakura laughs a real laugh. The kind that makes her snort into her hand in a way that might once have made her embarrassed. But she's beyond embarrassment now. Self consciousness doesn't seem to touch her the way that it use to.

'Bulletproof.'

She smiles to herself.

Ino takes this as a good sign though, smiling enthusiastically. She rattles off into a new conversation. But…she keeps looking over her shoulder like she's waiting for someone to arrive.

"Are you looking for Kiba or something?" Sakura asks.

The two had been spending an unusual amount of time together. Shikamaru's sudden departure from Konoha had triggered something manic in her friend. Ino was having an Artsy moment, and was obsessed with seizing the most from every day. She'd taken to carrying around the Polaroid camera Kiba had bought her for her birthday.

Ino claims her new hobby has nothing to do with Shikamaru leaving so suddenly, but Sakura suspects otherwise. She knows what it's like to be missing a part of yourself, and the different ways that people cope with loss.

When they'd both finally learned about the Board of Directors position, everything had finally made sense. Sakura had expected Ino to blame her for the absence of their mutual friend, but Ino hadn't blame her one bit.

"Shika's a big boy who makes his own decisions. He'll be okay. I just wish he would write to us…but until he comes back, I'm taking lots of picture so he doesn't feel like he's missing anything big."

It at least makes Sakura feel better that she isn't missing him alone.

In the mean time, Ino has become… unusually sappy. Suddenly, everything she saw was photo worthy. Her purse is stuffed with endless polaroid pictures of aesthetically framed autumn leaves. There are pictures of clouds that look like dogs and pictures of a dog that looks like a cloud. She takes polaroid selfies with a friend they happen to bump into on their walk. She'd even taken a picture of her ever growing picture wall, which she claimed was especially meta.

She has lots and lots of pictures of Kiba…

"No reason." Ino replies when Sakura asks why.

But where ever Ino went, there always seemed to be a Kiba close behind or an Akamaru under foot.

Today, when Sakura brings up Kiba's name, Ino's face turns nearly purple, blushing more so than she usually does. Ino is suddenly fascinated with her hands, fiddling and playing with her nails.

And there is a suspiciously shiny silver ring dangling from a brand new chain around Ino's neck.

"Ino… what is that?"

"It's… nothing."

"Ino. What is that."

"Okay…maybe it's something."

"INO-"

"Don't Look At Me Sakura-"

"When did this happen?! Tell me everything!"

They descent into a furious exchange of whispers, yelps and mutual blushes. Sakura feels things for Ino that she hasn't yet been able to feel for herself.

Excitement. Euphoria. Hope.

"You can't tell anyone we've started dating." Ino rushes to say.

They slip onto freshly opened barstools and open their menus on the counter.

"I don't think I'll have to tell anyone. I'm the one who's been out of the loop. If anything, I'm the last one to know."

This time when Ino peeks over her shoulder, she rounds back onto Sakura with an ecstatic voice. "BUT! I'm not really here to talk about me. I'm actually here to capture a very special moment. I hope you'll forgive me for my subterfuge."

And then, Ino pulls out her polaroid camera, holding it at the ready.

Sakura feels it moments after the words are spoken- A familiar presence she doesn't dare hope for.

Her awareness of him tingles on the edge of her skin, hot like the beginnings of a summer sunburn. It washes over her, comforting and familiar. She's known him for years, practically her whole life.

She would know him anywhere.

Sakura doesn't dare turn around.

"Ino?" Her voice wavers when she says Ino's name. She doesn't have the courage to ask the question that's in her heart, so she uses the up-down cracking of her voice to communicate the vulnerabilities her words can not.

That she's still healing. That she's better but not fixed. That she won't survive the let down if she turns around and he isn't really there.

But as if in response to her imminent devastation, his chakra flares brighter. Warmer.

Here.

Out of nowhere, she realizes she's tearing up.

The echos inside her disappear.

Her lip wobbles. What is breath.

Ino lifts her camera and takes the picture. The mechanical whirr of the little motor spits out a little square photograph.

"This one is going on my wall. You can have the next one." She says.

Sakura takes a giant, impossible breath, and turns over her shoulder. She looks out to the man she deeply loves.

And there. It's him. It's really him.

'Go.'

And then, Sakura is hurtling herself off of her barstool and out from under the welcome banner. Her shoes bite buckets into the dirt, skidding dust and gravel everywhere. She has to squint into the sudden flood of sunlight blinding her eyes.

When he sees her running towards him, he takes off too, determined to meet her in the middle. She practically launches herself into the air, colliding into his chest with so much force that a weaker man would have collapsed.

But he scoops her up and spins her around, saying her name into her hair.

"Naruto." She chokes. Except she isn't really saying it. Her sobs are a jumble of nonsense sounds.

"Hi Sak." He laughs, warm and full. His childlike voice has been replaced by a velvet baritone. His face is definitely buried deep into her shoulder; he's probably struggling to breathe at all. But she doesn't care if she suffocates him. She's a god damn Doctor, she can resuscitate him if she needs to.

As for Naruto, he's not even a little ashamed of her embarrassing public display of affection.

He's so tall now, not a boy anymore. She wonders what miracles Jiraiya has been performing on him, because he's practically glowing with chakra. He holds her in his arms for a long, long time. When she breathes him in, he is campfire smoke and deep spring water. He is the forest and miso and the lightning smell of magic.

He smells like the home she hasn't had since team 7 parted ways. The nostalgia alone makes her knees buckle.

"What are you doing here?" She demands, wiping at her eyes when he finally puts her down. But even then, he remains near to her. He's as desperate to see her as she is to see him.

"Kakashi came and got me." He says. "He said you needed me."

And just like that, the air is syphoned from her lungs. "Kakashi did?"

"Yeah, it was kind of crazy…He told Jiraiya his time with me was up. That if we wanted to keep training together we could do it in Konoha. Kakashi told him, "Sakura says it's time to come home." …If I'm being honest, I cried a lot. I didn't think he'd come get me like that after everything with Sasuke…"

Sakura's not the only one with saltwater eyes.

"What on earth did you say to him, Sak?"

"I- I don't know."

She suspects, but she can't bring herself to hope.

"Well, what ever it was, I think you got through to him. He kept fawning over me like a proud papa the whole way home. I haven't seen him like this since…you know."

"Wait." Sakura says, regrouping her thoughts. "Is he here in the village now?"

"Yeah, we all just got back. Jiraiya went to meet up with Tsunade, and Kakashi said he had to go take care of something, but that I should come and find you first."

She marvels at what Kakashi has done.

Was this…his apology?

What ever it was, it was the beginning of something new. Not just for the two of them, but for all of them. Together.

It would be another two hours before she would leave Naruto's side, afraid he might disappear if she took her eyes off him. The more she loved on him, the more shy he became. He had so many stories to share, and she listened eagerly to every one. She wondered how her friend could doubt for a moment that she would be this happy to see him.

But she knew that he had his fragilities too, and that was okay.

And yet, sandwhiched snug between Ino and Sakura, Naruto is doted on by everyone who passes. Sakura doesn't care that she looks pathetic every time she sneaks a peek at him. Seeing Naruto happy like this, her eyes go round and obviously misty.

She was going to be so dehydrated after this…

"Geeze, you're so sappy today." Ino snaps a picture of the two of them together. "This one, you can have." She shakes the picture before handing it over.

They all watch as the image develops around the two of them. Little by little, they come into focus.

Maybe this is what Yume-Kakashi meant when he said he was becoming.

Now, they were becoming too.

She looks at the picture and ignores her stringy hair. She ignores her oversized forehead and the puffy redness around her eyes. When she looks at the picture, all she can see is her family. Backlit by the sepia tones of fall, Naruto's worn out orange jacket suits him well. He looks like he is finally home. At long last, he is back where he belongs.

But there's something still missing from this photo, perfect as it is: The third of their reunited unstoppable trio.

"I need to go find Kakashi. Is that okay?" She asks.

Naruto nods, ordering yet another bowl of noodles. "Yeah, go go. I'm not sure where he went though-"

Sakura doesn't care how long she has to look, she would find him. She had to go find him now. But where could he be?

Probably debriefing Tsunade if he just got back from his mission. Or maybe checking in on his apartment?

'No…' The quiet voice whispers again.

Sakura stops dead in her tracks. It's a familiar voice she has tried not to look for, too afraid to reignite hope.

But Kakashi was back, and Naruto was home. Hope is a wildfire in her heart. Anything is possible.

Then, like an air bubble rising up through water, the faint recollection of another time floats to the surface of her memory. A hot summer day on a hospital rooftop, full of yearning and desperation.

Oh.

Because it was Friday.

Without another moment's doubt, she knows where Kakashi will be.

Sakura makes her way to the memorial stone. She wipes at her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve.

This time when she looks around, everything around her once more shines in color.

- Authors Note -

NGL, I thought about holding onto this chapter for two weeks for that authentic painful experience, but alas, I could not do it. What a sap I am. Next few chapters are where I will try to regain your trust after all those emotions. Thank you to those silent readers who left reviews on the last chapter. It really truly means the world to me, even if you just spam hearts! XOXO - VB