If you are here looking for Arc 4, please forgive me. I pulled it for heavy revisions, see bio for more details. IT WILL BE BACK, by the end of May 2023 at the absolute latest, along with the conclusion of the story, the playlist, and the promised lemon.

Thank you so much for your grace and understanding. XOXO - VB

- Pancakes -

Sakura spends the next week pinching herself. She needs the pain to physically reaffirm the sudden reversal of her situation. It seems almost over night, she's gone from being alone (bad) to being alone (good) to unexpectedly acquiring a blond haired roommate with a soft spot for frogs. (Interesting…)

It's only when her arms are covered in crescent shaped pinch marks that reality finally sets in. Naruto was really and truly home, (good) but he also hadn't paid the utility bills for his vacant apartment in something like 5 years (bad) which meant he had no water, no electricity, and no way to properly hydrate the little green amphibians he'd acquired during his travels. (Interesting?)

This was how Sakura came home from working a double shift to find her apartment door ajar. In the time she'd been gone for work, said teammate had broken into her apartment and made his pets and himself at home.

"It's just for a couple days, I swear-" he pleads when Sakura finds his various belongings scattered about her living room. Over the course of a single night, her near month of emotionally numb stress-cleaning has been all but undone.

The old Sakura would have thrown a fit at her privacy being so carelessly invaded. Old Sakura would have told him to go stay with Kakashi, or to go book a room at an inn downtown. Old Sakura would have immediately started cleaning up his scrolls and shrieking about finding tree frogs on her bathroom mirror.

But Sakura was, admittedly, a little drunk on Naruto's company and emotionally clingier than ever. So, instead of doing any of the above, New Sakura takes off her fall jacket, extending the article of clothing away from her body. She dumps it ceremoniously onto the floor next to a pile of Naruto's Warriors Way comic books.

"Naruto, what do you want for breakfast?" She asks. Her voice is a cocktail of exhaustion and rapture.

"Um, It's 9 at night, Sakura-chan."

"I said what I said."

"Pancakes." He replies.

The pancakes turn out terrible, but the company is fantastic. It's the best night Sakura has had in weeks. She and Naruto fall asleep on opposite ends of her couch, feet tucked under the shared duvet she drags out from her bedroom. It feels like the slumber parties she'd longed to attend as a child, but never got invited to. Except they also have beer, so it's even better.

Her days continue on like this, Sakura going to work while Naruto does what ever it is Naruto's do. Every night she comes home to find his ambient presence transforming her house, bit by bit, into a home.

The echo of her kitchen is replaced with dirty dishes she cherishes because it means somebody else lives there too. The hollow sound her floors make when she comes home in the quiet hours of the night is replaced by the quiet ribbit's of tree frogs singing harmonies in her bathtub. Her doublewide couch that once felt too big is now exactly big enough.

This time, when her heart echos, it's because she knows it's growing. She doesn't ever want it to stop. Looking across the couch at her sleeping friend, she hopes it never will.

- Giving -

When Ino announces she's throwing Naruto a belated birthday party, Old Sakura rears her ugly head for a shameful second.

'He's only just gotten home.' Old Sakura whines. 'I don't want to share him just yet…'

But then she sees the unexpectedly touched look Naruto gives Ino, surprised that anyone would want to celebrate him at all. Old Sakura begrudgingly surrenders, retreating back into her box after that

"But, wouldn't that be too much trouble?" Naruto asks, face ablush.

"Not at all." Ino insists. "Our families throw a halloween block party every year anyway, so we can just fold your birthday into it. Is that okay, or would you rather have your own event?"

"No, that's…that would be perfect."

Naruto starts rummaging about in his pockets like he's looking for something he's lost. Sakura expects his fumbling is just a distraction, something to conceal the misty water in his eyes. She keeps this suspicion to herself, but there's a bittersweet ache for him in her chest too.

"Excellent! What kind of cake do you like?"

"I like ramen."

"That's not a flavor."

And just like that, the Halloween/Birthday party is upon them. Sakura takes that Saturday off work so she and Naruto can spend the day together. They invite Kakashi over for breakfast at 9 am, which means he shows up precisely at 11:30. By that point, Naruto is basically hungry again, so they make lunch as a group. They laugh and discuss their training plans now that they are back together.

Throughout the day, various friends stop by to drop off the occasional birthday present. Jiraiya gives Naruto a sealed scroll (probably with some pervy jutsu in it). Kakashi gives Naruto all of his houseplants back.

When they all wander the thoroughfare together that afternoon, they run into Kiba and Ino carrying supplies back to the block party. Kiba promises to give Naruto a good sparing match when he's ready for it. Ino promises to give him a proper hangover when he arrives at the party later that night.

Their old academy teacher Iruka Sensei even brings him a small cake. This makes Naruto cry for real and Iruka cry even harder. Kakashi looks away. He isn't one for tears.

But the most shocking present of all comes from a shy Hyugga who gives Naruto a knit scarf to welcome him back home for the winter. Naruto gives Hinata a deep, extended hug as a thank you. Hinata, in turn, gives herself a nosebleed.

Sakura's ever growing heart is pride immeasurable. She pinches herself one last time. You know, just to be sure.

- Drinking Games -

The Shika-Ino-Cho block party is an annual staple, but this year it's big. Bigger than any event Sakura can remember the collective clans throwing in recent years. After substantial prodding from Naruto, Kakashi agrees to drink with them in earnest that night.

But! (There is always a catch when it comes to Kakashi.) In exchange, they had to agree to run hill sprint drills with him the next day, no matter how hung over they got. Naruto insists loudly he will be able to hold his own against his Sensei. This is a boast he will eventually come to regret.

When the block party reaches maximum capacity, Ino makes Naruto the center of attention. The crowd serenades him with an out of tune Happy Birthday, and Choji gifts him a circle of instant ramen packets shaped like a layer cake. After that, the party descends into a throng of drinking and dancing. There's halloween games and BBQ courtesy of the Akimichi's outdoor grill.

Even Tsunade shows up late once Jiraiya pesters her enough. She tells Naruto his gift this year is her exalted presence, because really she's the Hokage now and she should be in her office working.

But Tsunade quickly changes her tune when Ino presses an expensive liquor bottle into her hand, murmuring that she doesn't have to share. That's when the party really gets going.

While Sakura and Naruto should have expected it, their respective mentors are notably harder on them now that Jiraiya is back in the village. The San-nin duo seem to have some sort of unspoken rivalry going over who is the superior Sensei. Naruto calls Sakura crazy when she calls Jiraiya's obnoxious behavior flirting.

"Their whole thing just smells of unresolved sexual tension to me." Sakura tells him.

"Gross. He's like my dad."

In the six years Sakura has been Tsunade's pupil, she's come to see how lonely her Shisho has been without Jiraiya. Being the metaphorical orphans of their respective teams was something they had in common. (And drunkenly bonded over more than once.) But an unmistakeable change had come over Tsunade now that Jiraiya was home. It could have been cute...if they weren't so horrible to be around together.

For starters, the two had absolutely zero qualms about violently bickering in public. Even petty name calling could get very scary when Tsunade could tap her foot and accidentally cause a sinkhole. Thankfully, when they arrive at the party together, they seem determined to get along.

But as the evening festivities wear on and partygoers go from drunk to drunker, their two mentors inevitably get into the same old argument: Which of their pupils is the strongest?

A tipsy Jiraiya issues Tsunade a declaration of war.

A hammered Tsunade elevates this war into a bet. This gets the entire crowd's attention.

Ino, the party antagonist that she is, immediately turns this bet into a drinking game, and suddenly all bets are of. Except that money has now started trading hands, so in a way, the bets were actually on. Orders are given and instructions delivered. The crowd parts into a big, high energy circle like there's about to be a fight behind a convenience store.

Which was how Naruto and Sakura found themselves in a plank position cursing their mentors to high heaven and lower hell.

Said mentors now sit cross legged on their respective pupils backs while Ino loudly declares the rules: The kids will do push ups while the adults do shots. For every 10 push ups, their mentor take a shot. There are six shots per Sake bottle. First mentor to finish three bottles wins. The winning team will receive a public declaration of their superiority from the losers. A special commemorative plaque shall also be bestowed.

Except the plaque is the back of a paper plate that Kiba has doodled on in bright red sharpie, but everyone seems to be taking this very seriously.

More money changes hands as the crowd makes wagers. All the while, Naruto and Sakura are still holding their planks, waiting for the god damn start bell to ring.

3. 2. 1.

Go-

Naruto has his Kyuubi chakra, but Sakura has the advantage of experience. Tsunade has made her do this before, so their team excels in balance. Meanwhile, Jiraiya keeps tumbling off Naruto and the two need to keep resetting.

Ino goes through an entire roll of polaroid film during this chaotic competition, much to Sakura's chagrin.

After 180 pushups, her arms are noodles, but team SaTsu is declared victorious. Ino announces loudly to the crowd that Sakura has beaten Naruto by 21 push ups, and still Tsunade has the audacity to brag about how she won.

"I'm putting this on my f-fucking wall." Tsunade slurs, tenderly caressing her commemorative plaque.

Right up until Jiraiya steals it from her hands. "Who's Hokage now?!" He yells.

"I fucking told you. Flirting."

"I fucking told you! Gross!"

Retreating from the party circle, Sakura and Kakashi lock knowing eyes from across the street. She can tell he's grinning like mad beneath his mask, shaking his head and laughing to himself. She drinks in his look of joy and it hits her stomach like a shot with no mixer. They're both drunk on more than just the party.

But then, his grin softens to a different kind of knowing. He holds her gaze like the world doesn't matter and gives her the smallest of winks. It's his way of silently telling her he sees her, just as she is.

The heat in Sakura's stomach shoots strait to her cheeks, and she has to look away to cool herself off. 'It's just the push ups.' She tells herself, reaching for a water bottle.

While they haven't been alone together since the memorial field, she's spent plenty of time with Kakashi during their team outings. 'Bonding Sessions', Naruto calls them, which translates to group Ramen Sakura pays for with her 'Doctor Money.' But between Naruto appointing himself her extended stay house-guest, and a renewed vigor for her work at the hospital…there just hasn't been time for her and Kakashi to follow up on their moment together.

And secretly, Sakura knows it's for the best.

She's coming to learn that, with enough time, every moment passes eventually. The trick is learning how to let them pass gracefully rather than clinging to them in desperation. She chugs her water bottle, letting their shared glance pass too. It's still too long before Sakura's face finally returns to a normal color. Standing at the edge of the party, she takes in the crowd in all its spectacle.

String lights run criss cross overhead, lighting the crowd with an ambient glow. The older adults are sitting in fold out chairs or clustering around the warmth of the BBQ grill. The younger set continuously flock to the drink table, passing out jello shots to who ever will take one. Several guests have shown up in halloween costumes ranging from slap-dash to unnecessarily elaborate. The whole event bubbles with a special energy; The kind that demands to be shared with the person standing next to you.

Except, by this point in the night, the person usually standing next to Sakura is Shikamaru…

The only thing really missing from this perfect party is him.

The absence of her best friends makes her chest ache in a lingering way. It does this whenever Sakura can't fill her time with work or team training or Naruto. Maybe she was dealing with Shikamaru's absence by not dealing with it at all… but so much had happened in the last week. So many things had changed so fast. It was a lot to process, even if it was all good.

Maybe happiness just gave her trust issues. Control freak that she was, Sakura did her best work when she was juggling multiple high stress scenarios. But what good were her workaholic tendencies when everything seemed to be going…easy?

She wasn't naturally carefree like Ino, or impulsive like Naruto and Kiba. She had a tendency to chew on her emotional gum, worrying it between her teeth long after the flavor had run out.

'Five minutes.' She promises herself. 300 seconds to indulge in a mini self pity party for the person she missed exponentially every day he was gone.

The whole night, happy as Sakura was, she'd found herself looking over her shoulder hoping to find Shikamaru there. She wishes he was here to push a glass of water into her hands, or to make knowing eye contact with from across the drink table. She almost turns to look for him when Kiba and Ino start making out very publicly.

"Shhhhh, Don't tell anyone I love him!" Ino yells, drunkenly hanging from his neck. Her voice carries easily over the party music. Kiba kisses her harder after that, blatantly disregarding her parents in the corner. Ino is so busy beaming, she misses as Sakura gestures wildly to the forty other people in the street. The new couple are too lost in the bliss of new love to notice everyone else noticing them.

It's one of those moments where Sakura wishes she had her own polaroid camera. She wants to show all of this to Shika later. But, she suspects her 300 seconds are up. So, instead of wallowing in the fact that he's gone, she tries instead to soak up the party energy like the fading rays of autumn light.

Near midnight, Naruto gets a bit too drunk and begs Kakashi not to make him run tomorrow. Their Sensei just smiles wickedly, agreeing to no such thing. Sakura carries her friend home bridal style, despite her noodle arms still trembling. Kakashi offers to help shoulder the load, but Sakura is still a bit possessive of her prodigal surrogate brother. She isn't ready to give him up, so instead Kakashi walks them back to her apartment. Despite their heated gaze from earlier, they chat comfortably about this and that, people and the party.

Kakashi helps tuck Naruto into her bed while Sakura puts a glass of water for him on the nightstand. She follows Kakashi to the door where they smile at each other, lingering warmly over their goodnight. Kakashi pauses for a moment longer than he needs to, wrestling with something inside himself. When she feels his eyes float down to her lips, her resolve threatens to crumble.

But then he turns to leave, and nothing further comes of it. Sakura is very proud of herself when she only glances back to him once before finally closing her apartment door.

The ache of longing was still there, but she had loved Kakashi for years. She suspects she might feel this way for a while…but the heat of their intangible chemistry was gradually being outshone by their newfound camaraderie. That was something she longed for too.

Maybe there is another version of their story where, after tucking Naruto in, he lingers at her door over a long goodbye. A version where he brushes a strand of her hair back without thinking, and they stand there for hours too terrified to move. Where he finally chooses to be brave and kisses her deeply, then takes her home with him because they've waited long enough.

Maybe in the darkness of that hypothetical bedroom, he undoes the buttons of her blouse while her mouth undoes the buttons of his self restraint. Maybe together they become a new version of what they already were before. Maybe that Kakashi and that Sakura find themselves starting over from scratch, and through love and time, gradually becoming.

Watching Kakashi's retreating form, Sakura could see that potential life waiting for her, if she dared to want it again. It was all there, wrapped up in a body of lean muscle, dangerous hands, and an even more dangerous smile that finally she knew the shape of.

Old Sakura, had she been present, might have given into the temptation to long for him again. To idolize and fantasize and get too attached. She might have even run after him, grabbing his coat before he could turn the corner…

But, against all odds, she had finally learned to read the difference between lust and trust. Between the intense fireworks that would burn her out and the camp fire warmth that could sustain her soul.

There was an entire world around her that didn't only consist of her and Kakashi and the glances he gave her only from a safe distance. Over spaces too wide for them to accidentally slip up and touch.

She's grateful for his self restraint while she continues to work on hers.

It would still be a few weeks before she fully comes down from the high of him, but it's okay that she takes her time. This time when she rebuilds herself, she is going to be bulletproof.

As Sakura falls asleep on her couch, her fingers flip over a worn out chess tile. She worries it between her fingers, wondering when Shikamaru will finally come home.

"I am coming back, Sakura. I swear it."

- Messenger -

It's nearly the end of November, a perfectly crisp fall morning when Tsunade calls Sakura into the Hokage's office.

"There you are, I need you to deliver a message for me." Tsunade says, barely glancing up from her desk.

"Sure thing. Is this a hospital message?" Sakura asks. She shuffles through the debris of Tsunade's supply cabinet for a pen and a blank piece of notepad paper.

"No… you'll need to take it a bit further than that."

"Is this for Kakashi then?"

"A little bit further."

"I feel like you're being intentionally vague with me."

Tsunade stands up from her desk, distracted. She walks over to her wall where a hanging calendar still displays the month of October. She flips the page up, then runs her finger down to the end of the month. "Let's see, let's see… Ah, yes. The Hadakambo Festival."

Tsunade turns back to Sakura. "Okay, take this down for me. Esteemed Fire Daimyo Hitoshi, Wishing you a very pleasant Hadakambo Festival. Respectfully, Hokage Tsunade of Konoha."

Tsunade waves her hand to the office door. "That should do it, off you go."

Unsurprisingly, Sakura does not leap to follow these very clear and well thought out instructions.

"You…want me to deliver this message. To the Fire Daimyo."

"Yes."

"Do you mean by messenger hawk?"

"No, this message is highly important for relations between Konoha and our Sovereign. It's absolutely vital you deliver it in person, and you should probably leave today. Go."

"With respect, Hokage-sama, have you been day drinking again?"

"Sakura!" Tsunade slaps her hands onto her desk. "Trust me. You want to deliver this message to Hitoshi. Preferably by the end of the day, before the Chief Operations Officer of the new International Medical Initiative is set to depart from his compound."

Sakura blinks once. She blinks twice.

Good lord, how could her pupil be so smart and so dumb. "Shikamaru is visiting the Daimyo's compound today. If you leave within the hour, you should have plenty of time to visit or canoodle or what ever it is you young people do."

"Oh, I understood you." Sakura says, her voice monotone. "I think I'm just paralyzed with fear."

Tsunade drags both hands down her face. "Oh for the love of- Sakura. Stop wasting time."

Tsunade is not what one would call, Good with feelings. But even she had seen the change that had overtaken her pupil once the Nara boy had left the village. A person who was good with feelings probably would have done something for their student sooner. They probably would have offered a sympathetic ear and sage advice from their years of experience.

They probably would have acknowledged the fact that their student was lethargic for weeks, fueled only by coffee and the fear of slowing down, because that's when the bad thoughts can really catch you. A person who was good with feelings might have noticed Sakura's suffering earlier and actually done something about it.

But they would have been wrong to do so, which was why Tsunade hadn't.

Because Tsunade was what one might call, bad with feelings, and that was how she liked it. At the end of the day, was Sakura kind of bad with feelings too. It was part of why they got along so well.

They shared several personality traits, actually. Not just the singular obsessive will to finish a project only to replace it with the next one. Tsunade knew that Sakura also had an inner fragility that had been holding her back for years. She knows from personal experience that Kunoichi in this world can't afford such fragilities. It wasn't fair, but it was the way things were.

This was why she had feigned ignorance of Sakura's emotional turmoil, watching from the curtains to see how she would sort herself out. Ignoring her student's situation was yet another test that Sakura had passed with flying colors. It wasn't nice, but in the end, Sakura hadn't needed Tsunade's help to pick herself up from her emotional rock bottom. Now, she was all the stronger for it.

Because, while offering a sympathetic hand might have helped Sakura that one time, it would have kept her from being able to help herself forever after. Ultimately, the goal of a true teacher was for their students to one day outgrow them. Sakura was growing up…

But now that she was walking on her own again, fighting fit and better than ever…well, it couldn't hurt to help just a little bit. Maybe just this once.

"Why don't you take the Nara boy's teammates with you. Ino and Choji, right? A letter to the Daimyo of this importance… surely it requires a three man guard."

From across her office, Tsunade watches Sakura stand tall. She pulls herself together and comes to a decision. "I think that's very wise of you, Hokage-sama. I'll make sure we deliver this to the palace at once. And…thank you."

"I still want those quarterly financial reports on my desk by Friday."

"You'll have them Thursday." Sakura promises.

And then, her adorable pupil is gone, running through the halls of the Hokage tower like the building is about to collapse.

Behind her, Tsunade feels her office window slide open and shut.

"Thank you for that." Kakashi says from her side.

"You sure you and Naruto don't want to go with her? This was your idea after all."

"No…she can handle this one without us." Here, Kakashi gives her a quiet smile. "I think it's time I stay home for a bit. Naruto and I are working on some new moves today, and who knows. Maybe staying village bound for a bit will do me some good. Crazier things have happened."

"Your students are making you soft, Kakashi."

"Look who's talking, Hokage."

This time, Kakashi leaves the window open when he departs. The chilly air of winter sets in. It was going to be a beautiful December.