I wake from the sun peeking through the window to the left of me; it shines right on through directly onto the pillow my head rests on. It's low in the sky, telling me that it is early morning. I don't know when I fell asleep, but it must have been from Jacob's snoring. Grumbling, I roll over to my right to see that Jacob is no longer on the floor. Blinking away the tiredness, I climb out of bed and head down the hall to the living room and kitchen. No one is in sight. The house is silent and empty. My fingers linger along the countertops of the kitchen as I make my way to the front door. I open the door slowly, a cold breeze brushes through me into the house.
Even with Jacob's shorts and long sleeved shirt on, it chills me to the bone.
To the right of the house is a double door large red shed. One of the doors is open far enough for me to see Jacob working on a motorbike. From where I stand, the bike itself looks almost complete, but it appears he's screwing in a few pieces here and there.
I glance down to see my ankle high brown boots are sitting beside the door. I kneel down and poke the soles with a finger and liquid squeezes through the fabric and onto my finger. Still wet. I look back at the shed, it's a decent distance away and my toes curl at just the thought of walking through the wet grass and mud. Not only is it wet on the ground but there is a sheen of damp air misting through the yard. I step down the ramp, sigh, and head for the shed. The grass and mud squish between my toes, and the smell of wet pine needles wafts the closer I get to the shed.
Jake doesn't notice me until I reach the door. He smiles and waves an oil-covered hand before observing the rest of my body. He frowns when he sees my bare feet.
"You should put some shoes on, you'll catch a cold."
My eyes drop to my feet; they are caked with mud and bits and pieces of grass. "There are no shoes for me to wear," I say, as I round the closed door and spot a girl sitting on a double car seat to the left of the shed. She must be Bella.
She's a thin girl, very pale, with long brown wavy hair that frames her delicate face and brown eyes. Your average Jane, if you ask me. There is something about her though, that's off; a sadness behind her eyes and a weak smile that looks forced.
"Bella, this is Furiae, Furiae, this is Bella," Jake introduces. He turns back to his work on the bike. I can see clearly now that there are two bikes next to him. One that he is working on and another that is missing a front tire. There is a tire nearby, sprawled out on the ground.
"That's an interesting name," Bella says.
"Yeah," I bite my lower lip. So interesting that I wouldn't be surprised if it weren't my actual real name. "Bella must be short for something." My eyes dart from hers to the ground. It is hard to look at her without feeling heaviness. I glance over to Jake, who's paying us no mind.
Maybe I am missing something? She could have a great personality? Begrudgingly, I look back at her and she half smiles, but I can see the struggle of her keeping it up.
"It's short for Isabella, but please, call me Bella."
"Ah," the sound just comes out. I balance back and forth on each foot, my fingers picking at one another. While Jake works behind me, I am not finding a seat, except for the one next to Bella. Not wanting to take the spot next to her in fear that I might be overtaken by whatever emotion drowns her.
"I saved her from the cliffs. She jumped off, hit her head, and nearly drowned. She doesn't remember who she is, or how she got here. I was able to get my dad to allow her to stay with us," Jake explains, I spot a goofy grin on his face.
"Where is your dad?" I ask.
"He's delivering pictures of you to the hospital and police stations."
"You don't remember who you are? Or where you came from? I am sorry, that must be really hard on you," Bella frowns. For a second, I think I see a flare of excitement flash in her eyes, but it quickly diminishes.
"All I can remember is my name."
"That's interesting. At least you remember your name."
"Yeah, it just came to me,"
There is an awkward silence between the three of us, except for the metal-on-metal sound of Jake working on the bike. After a bit of time, my feet start to ache and the struggle on whether or not to take the seat next to Bella becomes too real. The silence breaks when Jake talks about the bikes, and how much longer it'd take to finish them. While they discuss, I come to my final decision and walk over to the double car seat and sit next to Bella. She looks over at me with the same forced smile and pained look behind her eyes. It has me wondering what could have happened to her that she looks so broken?
"It must be scary, not knowing who you are. Aren't you afraid your memory won't come back to you?" She pulls from her conversation with Jake to focus on me.
My hands fiddle with one another in my lap and I bow my head. I never thought that my memories may never come back. What would I do then? Billy and Jacob can't have me in their home forever if no one shows up to collect me. My stay here is intermittent and that scares me the most.
"Sorry," she mutters. "You probably don't want to think like that."
I shake my head under her watchful gaze. "It's okay."
There is another brief moment of silence between the three of us with just the sound of Jacob working echoing in the shed. He pauses and twists towards us. There is a smear of black on his left cheek.
"How's your head?" Jake asks, breaking the stillness.
Hesitantly, I test the movement of my head by turning it side to side, grimacing when my head meets my left shoulder and a shooting pain goes up my spine to my skull. "Still hurts, but not nearly as bad."
He frowns. "Try to be more careful. You're going to make it worse."
I catch Bella glancing at the both of us with a deeper frown on her face than before.
"Hey, do you guys want pizza? I can order some," she asks. Before Jake and I can answer, she bolts up from her seat and makes her way to the house. We both watch her as she disappears.
"She has a lot of pain behind her eyes," I say, and frowning when I notice Jake is still watching the house as if she'll immediately reappear.
"Her boyfriend dumped her a few months ago. She's hasn't been the same since," the way he says it sounds heavy. His smile disappears, but his eyes warm and he frowns again, causing creases to mar his face.
It is very obvious he has a thing for her. Something deep. This makes me feel itchy for some reason - an uncomfortable sort of distress.
Bella smiles effortlessly when she's close to Jacob, and when they walk together, they walk close. Both are nervous to speak, but Bella looks down when she does. I keep a distance as we all walk to the house. The sun has gone down just in time for Jake to finish the bikes. They hardly speak and when they do, it's on the topics of their fathers, the bikes, and what they are going to do with them. I have nothing to add to any of these conversations and simply just watch from afar - feeling a little out of place and lonely.
When we reach the white front door, Bella says her goodbyes and leaves. Jake stands still as a statue, watching her as she gets in her red truck and drives off. I step to his side, entering his peripherals and breaking his eyesight of Bella. He looks down at me with a small smile and leads the way inside. Billy is still gone. He called at one point and told us he'd be going fishing with Bella's father. Once inside, Jake relaxes and slumps as he walks. He's not on edge about what to say or what to do, when Bella's not around. I can only assume it's because I am not someone he's affectionate with, so he doesn't need to gain anything from me. After all, we just met, and there are no feelings between us like that, but instead, a mutual understanding.
I go to the kitchen and zip up the zip-lock bag with the last pizza inside. I place it into the fridge and turn to Jake. He's leaning against the wall next to the hallway. His arms are crossed and there is a small smile on his face. "Want to watch a movie?"
"What kind of movie?" I ask. Stepping out of the kitchen only takes a few steps and I round the couch to plop down at the center. Jake heads for the television where a line of DVDs sits on the floor by the television. He fingers through them, making humming noises as he searches.
"I like horror and action," he states. "But I can go for anything."
"I have no idea what I like, but horror sounds good."
"Horror it is then."
We watch the movie close together with a large bowl of popcorn between us. The movie is about a man who kills people in their sleep. A particularly good movie to watch before we go to bed. My hand bumps into his just as we both reach for some popcorn and an electrifying feeling shoots up from my hand to my arm. When I look up at Jake, he's looking down at me with apologetic eyes.
"Sorry," he mumbles and snatches his hand away from mine. Did he feel that same electrifying feeling?
I can't tell. His eyes avoid looking back at me.
I frown, my hand falls back onto my lap and an emptiness takes over my heart. It has me wondering if anyone looked at me the way Jake looks at Bella. Or was I alone?
After the movie, we went our separate ways. I headed for the bathroom and he went to wash the bowl we used. While in the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror for the first time since my amnesia and see a girl with long brown hair and a pair of blue eyes staring back at me. There is a scratch on my right cheek, probably from the cliff. But as I stare back into my own set of eyes, something hits me hard in my mind - like a crack tearing through my brain.
/A woman lying on a wooden floor stares up at me with terror in her eyes. She screams. "Run, Furiae, run!" But my feet stay planted where I am. She is beautiful, with long, golden brown hair and green eyes. Her right leg looks out of place and she raises her hand out to me. It's bloodied. There is something that approaches us from behind her, a tall figure with gangly limbs and red eyes. But that's all I can distinguish from the body. "Run!" She shouts again. A voice that is familiar to me, an angelic voice, but this time there is a cry behind her words. I run./
The vision abruptly stops. Both my hands are clutching the sides of the porcelain sink, holding myself up and together, as I come to. The girl's eyes in the mirror are wide and full of terror, her lips are parted and quivering and she looks pale for her naturally tan shade.
There is a knock on the bathroom door, and Jake's voice follows. "Hey, you okay?"
I must have made a noise during the vision to earn his attention. When I go to move, my fingers claw against the porcelain, leaving slight indentations where my fingers had scratched. It is hardly visible but it still shocks me. How is that possible? My nails can't be that strong.
"Furiae?" Jake continues. He is now trying to open the door by rattling the knob, but I locked the door after entering.
"Sorry," I quickly say. "I think a memory just came back to me."
The rattling stops and I unlock the door. It swings open between us. A look of worry creases a frown on his face. "A memory?"
I nod in answer and walk around him to head to his room. Seeing what I saw makes me need to sit down and when I reach his room, I take a seat on the edge of the cot. My fingers curl into the blanket and I stare, dumbfounded, at the closet door across the room. Jake follows me with the same expression glued to his face. I can tell he wants me to explain, and I do.
I explain everything to the best of my ability and as I do; he sits next to me, placing a hand on my upper back. The same electrifying feeling rolls along my back and throughout my body.
"It doesn't matter now. Who knows how long ago that memory is from," I say.
I stare down at my hands on my lap, a little afraid to look up and see the judgment in his eyes. How could any of that memory be real? That creature seemed inhuman and out of this world. I am sure he either thinks I am crazy or making it up.
"It does matter. Sounds like someone you care about was in real trouble," he replies, startling me. Even though he sounds genuine, there is a tinge of something behind his words that tells me he doesn't fully believe me. I probably should have left out the bit about the creature in the shadows. But if someone was in real trouble, whoever it was, was trying to warn me. Her voice was familiar, like the voice I heard in my head that spoke my name. Could it have been her?
It's late in the night when I hear the door opening. This time, the moon is shining right through enough to be able to see that it's Jacob. He has a pillow and a blanket with him. He lays down on the ground, both on our backs, and looking up at the ceiling.
"Do you think that woman was your mother? The way you described her sounds kind of like you, minus the eyes."
I shrug, regardless, he can't see it. "I guess. I wonder if she died like that…." I say slowly.
The silence lingers with the last words I had said, and then I hear Jake shifting next to me.
"I lost my mother too, in a pretty bad car crash."
My heart drops and a lump grows in my throat. I try to swallow it away but it doesn't leave. Moving onto my side, I look over the cot, down at Jake, who is looking up at me.
"I am so sorry to hear that."
"It was a long time ago when I was young, but my sisters remember it pretty well," he lingers.
"Sisters? You have sisters?" I don't remember seeing any pictures of them throughout the house, but then again, I didn't go looking for them either.
"Yeah, Rachel and Rebecca. Rachel went to the University of Washington and Rebecca lives in Hawaii with her husband."
"At least you have a family you can remember," I grumble, shifting onto my back again. "I just want to remember. Then I can know who I am and where I came from."
"I haven't brought up my mother to Bella," he mumbles, just barely am I able to hear him. "You're the only one I talked to about her."
"With your genes, I bet she was beautiful."
He forces a chuckle. "She was from what I can remember. And thanks, I think I am beautiful too."
"You are a very beautiful man, Jacob Black," I snicker.
We remain silent until I hear the soft sound of his quiet snores. I stare up at the ceiling, hardly able to see it, and try to imagine what she looked like when she wasn't hurt. And I wonder what my father could have looked like, did he have blue eyes too? And then I start wondering, did I have any siblings? Questions, I hope to answer soon. Closing my eyes, I try to imagine a life where I didn't lose my memory, with fake images of my family living a happy life without those red eyes.