Chapter 1. Leaving Home
For most people my age leaving home means a good time. Freedom from the chains of being under your parents roof. Getting to go out when and where you want without anyone trying to hold you back or tell you no. For me however it feels like a death sentence. I know I can't stay but leaving feels so painful, however if I stay I know I will continue to drown myself in my own pity party until I completely self-destruct.
Seth is older now he doesn't need, or want, his big sister breathing down his neck anymore. I envy Seth more than I'd ever lead on. If only I could have a sliver of his joy, maybe I could stay. Maybe I could watch my cousin Emily walk down the aisle and marry the man I love the most. If I had an ounce of his character I could be the bigger person I could be happy for other people's happiness but I'm nothing like my gleeful innocent little brother. I'm spoiled goods, rotten, alone, and above all afraid.
Everyone around me is moving on and moving forward and I'm still stuck. Forever 19. Forever unloved, unwanted and looked over. I've tried a few times to make myself happy with the local men but every one night stand makes me hate myself more. My Mother, Sue, told me last week that I need to make a choice to either continue to shift and stay away from the locals or give up my wolf and move on without it. It seemed cruel for her to ask but as a village elder I understood that all she wanted was what was best for our entire community. Can't walk around in a 19 year old body forever without people starting to notice, even if you do have a heartbeat.
I'd never felt so torn so stuck I would give anything to be given an order to be forced to choose but everyone pitied me too much to bother. Plus this reputation as a Grade-A Bitch that I'd developed kept most everyone away from me these days. Seth was the only one who even bothered to try and talk to me. My Mom does her best but she's moving on in her own life. She doesn't have much time to bother with her brooding teenage daughter anymore. Now that her and Charlie are engaged all she does is spend all day with Emily talking about wedding plans. Barf.
Makes me sick. Happy for her though or at least I truly am trying to be. I know she deserves it and after everything that happened with my father… Well like I said, she deserves it, even if it hurts to think about her replacing him. I'm glad to know when I leave she won't be alone.
"Are you dead or something?" Seth said through the crack in my door.
"Yes." I said back.
"I need sustenance women!" He responded through a laugh.
"The dead don't make breakfast, just eat a loaf of bread, kid." I groaned. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and how could I leave knowing he still needed my help. I needed to know he could do everything on his own. Even the little things like making his own dame toast.
"Show how much you know about the dead. Esme makes a wonderful breakfast! You'd know if you ever bothered to join your pack for a meal." He said disappointed. "Leah?"
"What Seth?!" I snapped back.
He cleared his throat and continued, "I know you don't really care but they're moving on soon… The Cullens. With the whole Volturi mess out of the way and with Ness's growth slowing down they wanna move out of town so no one starts asking questions."
"Great sound like a win to me!" I groaned under my covers.
"Um… and Jake he's uh… He's going with them."
I could tell he was sad, on the verge of tears. I should've comforted him but instead I said, "Good riddance to the blood suckers… and their guard dog."
Seth slammed the door completely shut aggressively enough to let me know he was pissed and ran out the door and into the woods. I could feel him shift as he headed out. I should go after him to apologize… but I won't.