CHAPTER 11: THE HOLE
Suddenly there was tinsel and holly everywhere. James felt like he had fairy lights in his soul. Sirius on the other hand did not appear to have any fairy lights in his soul at all. On the contrary, a light seemed to go out in his soul with each passing day.
He was becoming so miserable that James began to regret having ever suggested that game of rock, scissors and paper. On the last day he didn't even touch the brioches.
"I'm so excited to go home for Yule!" said James, smelling mince pies in his brain. "Are you excited for Yule?"
He grabbed a slice of toast and buttered it. Sirius just watched the swirls his teaspoon made in his tea.
"Oh yeah super excited..," he mumbled grumpily.
Then the light of Christmas went up on his face at last, as if he was finally smelling those brain pies.
"Hey! The bus won't be leaving for hours! How about we go down to the Great Willow, and you throw some cabbages at it? I just want to see you do it!"
Ever since they had discovered that chucking stuff at a protruding knob on the Great Willow made the branches freeze James had started using it as a substitute goalie.
"Sure we can! Let's go now!"
They finished eating and then they went and filled a wheelbarrow with cabbages from the kitchen.
The Great Willow swung its branches serenely. It was hard to believe it could kill anybody. Yet Sirius's grandad had supposedly been found at the very foot of it, a haunting thought.
They parked the wheelbarrow at a safe enough distance and began to pack snow on the cabbages.
"Will you also throw some snow cabbages?" James asked. "It's more fun if we both do it!"
"But I can't find Uranus anywhere."
"That's ok! We can both get on mine!"
Once the wheelbarrow was full of snow cabbages, James stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled. And there was the exquisite work of art that was his Ziggy Stardust.
He meant art in a good way.
"Ok get on behind me."
People couldn't believe he had made it, that was how amazing it looked.
"I can't," said Sirius. "I have to stay here and make sure you hit your target."
"What are you talking about? You have seen me hit the target loads of times."
"Or HAVE I..?"
"It is always immediately apparent if I have!"
"Yeah well maybe you just got lucky. You don't know. Could have been... an ant crawling on it, all those times."
Whatever, James thought and took off.
The curtains in McGonagall's classroom were still closed. Sirius went Wingardium Wheelbarrow and the wheelbarrow sprouted little wings. When it reached James, he grabbed a snow cabbage and studied the motions of the branches. Then he threw it.
It hit the knob and broke down into chunks of snow and cabbage. If only Margie Peregrine had been around to see it!
"GET IN!"
"MISSED!"
"MISSED? DID NOT!"
"LOOK TRY AGAIN."
"BUT IT STOPPED MOVING DIDN'T IT?"
"COULD HAVE BEEN AN ANT."
James shook his head and grabbed another snow cabbage to activate the tree with. Hitting the knob without any guarding branches was like taking candy from a stranger.
When he threw the second snow cabbage Sirius stepped in the way and James hit the nob right in the face. Blinded by the snow and cabbage he tumbled back, bumped into the knob and activated the tree.
After which it gave him a good lashing.
A damn good lashing.
Sirius looked like a flesh sack of blue potatoes, suffering from a headache, muscle soreness, heart palpitations, tongue dryness, abdominal cramps and bloating.
In other words he had caught the superflu.
Doctor Pomfrey removed the thermometer which, to James's disappointment, had gone in the mouth. She checked the temperature.
"No fever. Have you taken aspirin?"
"No," Sirius replied weakly where he lay in a white bed. "Do I need aspirin?"
"It looks like you have overdosed on salicylic acid."
"Will I have to take aspirin for that?"
Pomfrey noted down the temperature in his journal, then put down the thermometer on the hospital cart and tucked the journal under the arm.
"What exactly happened?"
Sirius moaned. His face was like a face sack of blue potatoes.
"I guess I just wandered too close to the-"
James pressed his hands over Sirius's mouth.
"He was in the greenhouse eating nightshade!"
Pomfrey looked shocked and very stern.
"You were eating nightshade?"
"Not me," said James.
"Like, I heard you can get high on it?" Sirius mumbled under James's hand. James removed that hand.
Pomfrey whipped out her wand and switched on the examination light to check Sirius's eyes for dilated pupils again.
"When did you eat nightshade?"
"Actually now I remember. I found a jar of aspirin and ate them all. I thought they were mints."
Pomfrey switched the light off.
"Now that would explain your test results. Wait here."
She stuck her wand in a pocket and walked out of the patient treatment ward. James waited for the door to close after her.
"We can't tell her you were hurt by the Great Willow!" said James. "Or they will take it down!"
He had already been warned once about using it as a goalie.
"I figured that much," said Sirius and moaned some more.
"Oh and erm sorry for making it whip you around like that," said James. "Even though that was entirely your fault."
"I forgive you. But I don't think I will be able to catch the train home now. Ohhh... And I so looked forward to going home."
For a moment the smile on his face was impossibly wide.
"No you didn't," said James. "You've been whining about it all month."
"That is just too bad. Oh well. Guess I will just have to stay here and find out more about the Slim Shadow. Ugghhh..," He suffered another wave of nausea. "As soon as I've been cured."
"I wish I could stay and do that, too. But I also really want to go home."
"I'll keep you up to date. I promise I won't kill it without you."
They wished each other a happy Christmas and then James left the patient treatment ward.
The bus was leaving soon so he went to the dorm to fetch his luggage, before returning to the Great Willow to find the Ziggy Stardust.
He could swear he had left it right by the overturned wheelbarrow and the cabbages but it wasn't there. So he looked up and saw that it had somehow gotten stuck in the tree. He whistled. Nothing happened.
Weird. He tried again. It refused to move.
"It's not stuck is it!"
He whipped out his wand.
"Accio Ziggy Stardust!"
He could see it struggle to break away but something was holding it back. It felt like his magic muscle was caught in an arm wrestling match. Was his wand malfunctioning? Was his magic impaired? He gave his wand a few spanks and tried again. No change. He tried to summon a cabbage leaf and it came fine.
He was simply going to have to fetch it squib style. He made a snowball, chucked it at the knob and climbed the tree.
Just as the tips of his fingers touched the Ziggy Stardust it moved back, came around and dropped a snow cabbage on his head before flying away.
"No!" James wiped snow and cabbage off his face. "No! Come back!"
Now his sweet ride was leaning against the foot of the tree, so he climbed down. What immediately followed was a wild cat and mouse chase, with James chasing the broomstick around the tree trunk, at one point thinking it clever to switch direction but only winding up having the wheelbarrow of snow cabbages falling on him and knocking his glasses off.
He pushed the cabbages and wheelbarrow off him and fumbled after his glasses for a good while. When at last he had them back on, his beautiful sweet ride had disappeared again.
He scratched the side of his bobble hat, thinking that regardless of what was wrong with it, he needed to device a clever plan to catch it.
It was when he stood there scratching the side of his bobble hat that he saw a gaping hole in the tree, on the side that faced the forest, and steps leading down to a dark path. At the point where it was too dark to see any further, there glimmered his Ziggy Stardust faintly on the ground. Whatever had possessed it, appeared to no longer be possessing it.
He hurried down the steps. Just as his hands were to grab it, his sweet ride rolled out of grab and flew off, deeper down the tunnel.
It really did not want to be caught!
James ran after it. Every time he came close, the broomstick switched to even higher gears. And so it went on until the end of the tunnel.
The Ziggy Stardust was sweeping the floor outside a pair of iron doors with bars and chains, whistling a merry tune. James stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled. His not so sweet ride just kept on sweeping and singing:
Ja, pfeif nur vor dich hin! *Whistling*
It was clearly possessed. As soon as he got hold of it he was going to take it to the chapel for a hexorcism. He waited.
The broom began to sweep in a circle around him, moving closer and closer, clearly trying to bait him. When it came close to his cheek and made wet kissing sounds, he grabbed it with both hands. The broom tried to pull away but aha!, he was not going to let go!
"I have you now you little shit!"
It stopped trying to pull away. Instead it pushed against him and hit him on the nose. He stumbled back, hit his head in the sharp bottom corner of a wall cabinet so a jar fell out and broke on his head.
His head hurt so much he lost his grip. The Ziggy Stardust began to beat him upside the head several times, forcing him to cower in a corner with his hands over his head so his fingers had to take all the beating.
A right dust storm was forming around him. He got all manner of itching particles in his eyes and nose. He sneezed, he coughed and very soon he became very, very sleepy.
"Wow!" said Sirius when James had told him everything.
He no longer looked like a flesh sack of blue potatoes.
"It didn't occur to me at the time," said James. "But it must have been the Slim Shadow!"
He had missed the train home. Now he was waiting in the patient treatment ward for Pomfrey to return with that dose of universal heal-all. According to her, he had been found outside the ball shed with a bludger beside him as well as his broom, which was no longer acting up. He had not told her what really happened.
"If that was the Slim Shadow," said Sirius. "Does that mean you're a Slim Shadow now?"
Alas, James just didn't know. But surely, if he was a Slim Shadow, he'd feel it?
"And then it swept dust in my eyes and I fell asleep."
"I wonder what their true form looks like..."
"Slim Shadows are imitators. Maybe they don't have a true form."
"Or perhaps nobody yet knows, because so little is known about them."
"That is changing because I think the page in the Wikius has gotten longer."
"You know anybody can edit it, right? You and I are the only certified experts on the Slim Shadow right now because we've seen it in action twice"
Oh, so now he thought Dumbledore had been a Slim Shadow after all? James didn't ask.
"The fact that it led you to that door must mean something. It must live there!"
"But why would a Slim Shadow need so many locks and chains? It's super strong and all that."
"To keep people out when it's had its fill, 'course!"
'Course.
When a good opportunity turned up for it, James showed Sirius the tunnel, just so he could have it confirmed that his leg was not being pulled.
And when a different good opportunity turned up for it- and because of the holidays they were abundant- they grabbed The Great Book of Wikius and went down to the dungeon garden to update the page about the Slim Shadow.
When they were done doing that, they just sat there enjoying the meditative sounds of flowing water and wind magic in the various trees and the wind chime. One tree was sticking its flower bearing branch into the gazebo, tickling their noses. Sirius yawned and fell back against the wall.
"Maybe tomorrow," James yawned, "we could go to Hogsmead on my sweet ride."
"Mmmlet's,"
Sirius's head went donk on the book and he fell asleep. James's head went donk beside the book and he also fell asleep.
Where in the world was the quidditch trophy with the lemon squash?
Then James realised it had all been a dream and he was actually in the dungeon garden, feeling as well rested and energised as he had when he had woken up after taking a beating from his Ziggy Stardust.
He stretched pleasantly where he sat under a tree. Beside him Sirius began to wake up as well,
"Ohh I was having the most wonderful dream!"
"Was I in it?"
"I was doing the peppermint twist on my mum's coffin. Then you were there saying I was doing it wrong."
"It's one two three jump, one two three kick."
"That's the part I kept getting wrong."
Suddenly they realised they were no longer sitting in the gazebo. They were sitting under a different tree, in a different corner of the park, with their legs stretched out before them. Sirius looked at his shoes, then at James's shoes. James figured it was simply because he was interested in clothes and shoes.
"Why are you wearing my shoes?" Sirius asked.
James looked at his shoes, then at Sirius's shoes.
"Why are YOU wearing MY shoes?"
Sirius wore nice fancy looking black boots with buckles. James wore trainers. There was no confusing their footwear.
They immediately switched shoes. What a strange place this was where magic trees had the ability to change people's shoes.
Sirius whipped out his pocket watch.
"We've been here for ten hours!"
And they could feel it in their hunger. They got up. James looked towards the gazebo, remembering that they had left the Great Book of Wikius there. He put his hand on the tree and glanced at it real quick.
Then he stared at it.
"What are you staring at?" Sirius asked.
"Me feel tree! But me not SEE tree!"
Sirius looked at the nothing that James was feeling up. He reached out to see if he could feel something, too, and lo, he could!
"It's an invisible tree!"
The novelty wore off pretty soon because James didn't know how to use it to get better at quidditch.
"Ok let's go."
Sirius reached up, searched for a leaf and picked one. He plopped it in his mouth.
Pop. He was gone. James gasped and was pushed aside. He could hear feet run off.
"Ha ha can you see me?" came Sirius's voice.
James swore could also hear trousers coming off.
"Well that was interesting," he said.
Because apparently clothes were invisible until they came off.
"That's what I wanted to know," said Sirius and then his pants flew off. "It is called good science!"
James, too, plopped a leaf in his mouth.